#idek if i wanna be premed this shit suckkss

[sipsteainanxiety]

say the word (and i’ll be there) || katsuki b.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x doctor!reader

word count: 6k+

mentions: no pronouns mentioned i think!, umm fluff, and angst, bit of an ambiguous ending lmao, bittersweet maybe?, screaming i am screaming, lowkey all over the place but idc, pro hero au btw

a/n: this one��s for my homies in premed/med. i will say that my (limited) med knowledge comes from watching greys anatomy when i was 12 tho LMAO

White, you found, was such an unassuming color. 

You saw it everywhere you went, painted onto a variety of different buildings, walls, and pathways. Highlighting specific decorations that needed particular attention beyond the glass windows of stores. Adding a modicum of innocence and freedom to the suits adorned by the pro-heroes you watched patrolling along the cemented streets. You saw it in the halls you walked every day, bright, unassuming white coloring everything you could see. From the tiles of the floor to the fluorescent lights on the ceilings. It was everywhere. 

It was the color of the lab coat you pulled over your significantly darker clothing every day. The color of the paper you scrawled on whenever you were taking care of a patient. It was even the color of the rubber case covering the small sanitizer bottle you kept in your pocket. 

Unassuming white. 

Bustling down the halls, you hummed under your breath as you checked the watch on your wrist. It was nearly time for your shift to end. You just had to check on a few patients before being able to clock out. Your feet ached from standing around all day, but it was a feeling you were accustomed to. 

A nurse wearing dark navy scrubs shuffled a bit ahead of you, about to enter one of the rooms you were heading for. You caught them by the shoulder, startling them slightly, before you told them you would handle the patient within. They gave you a grateful nod, exhaustion clearly lining their face, and you watched them continue to shuffle down the hall and around a corner. Then, you turned to the closed door, opening it and practically waltzing into the room.

��So, Dynamight,” you drawled as you headed straight for the base of the hero’s bed. He was sitting up, legs thrown over the side of the bed as crimson eyes glanced over at you. You ignored him momentarily to pick up the clipboard holding his charts, eyes skimming the information upon it. “Couldn’t stay away, huh? Looks like you took some naaasty blows today.” 

Said hero grunted, watching as you looked up from the clipboard and eyed the white bandages around his arms and head. He was still wearing his hero suit, the black material around his torso a bit scuffed and ripped, but still intact. You hummed. “Doesn’t look like it was too terrible, though. Villain give you a tough time?”

He scoffed and you grinned, putting down the clipboard to round the bed and position yourself directly in front of him. He was slightly shorter than you thanks to the height of the bed, so he had to look up to meet your eyes. “Ain’t nothin’ I couldn’t handle.” 

“I’m sure,” you told him amusedly, hands already reaching out to check the bandages on his arms. They were still clean, tightly wrapped around his bulging forearms. You tapped his hands, turning them over to make sure they weren’t damaged. You hummed a bit as you moved to check his face, delicate hands cupping his chin gently as you turned his head this way and that. There were a few stitches along his cheek. Your eyes moved up to the bandages around his head, and you let go for a moment to reach into your pocket and pull out a small flashlight. 

“Look right here for a moment,” you instructed, pointing to the center of your forehead. He obliged, burning gaze nailing right into you as you shined the small light into his eyes to check his pupils. With every little observation you made on his well being, the tension in your shoulders eased bit by bit until you were gently cradling his face once more in your hands, thumbs tracing his cheeks.

“You really like to worry me, don’t you,” you whispered to him, closing your eyes for a moment before opening them to see him watching you carefully. His hands, by now, had moved to rest on your hips, pulling you just a tad closer. 

“S’part of the job,” he replied just as quietly, thumbs toying with the fabric of your coat. Your eyes roamed around his face, once again making sure he was okay. “‘Sides, I always win.” He said it with such a firm conviction that you felt the corners of your lips quirk up.

“That you do,” you sighed, then pulled away with a glance to the still open door. His hands hesitated before they dropped away as you stepped back and straightened your clothes. “I’m gonna assume your patrol’s been canceled for the rest of the day, right?”

Katsuki clicked his tongue against his teeth, a disgruntled expression sliding across his face. “Shitty hair’s orders,” he grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest in a manner that reminded you of a petulant child. You gave him a smile, thinking about how long Kirishima must’ve had to argue with Katsuki to get him to just relax and take it easy.

“Great!” you said cheerfully, glancing at your watch again. “My shift ends soon, so I can drive us home. Just go ahead and sign yourself out, I’ll meet you outside in a bit.” 

You turned on your heel to make your way to some of the other rooms you had to check on, a grumble from behind you causing a smile to linger on your face. 

---

The cup of tea you held was warm between your palms, steam wafting up gently from it to curl into the air. You blew slightly on the liquid, then took a tentative sip, sitting at the island counter of your kitchen as you watched the news playing on the television in the living room. Sunlight poked through the curtains on the farthest wall, bathing the room in a warm light that reflected off the screen.

The channel you were on was doing a segment on pro-heroes and you watched with slight interest as some of the past victories of your friends were shown one after the other.

There was bright and beautiful Deku, darting around in a blur of electric green as he saved dozens of people in the way of a collapsing building. His white cape billowed out from behind him with every movement he made, a gentle smile on his face as he told each and every survivor that they would be all right. 

There was warm and sunny Red Riot, Japan’s literal sweetheart, activating his quirk to its fullest potential as he stood in the path of a small child, taking the brutal force of a high-powered laser-beam to the chest. The harsh lines and angles of his face were grit in determination, the laser so high-temperatured that it melted nearly everything around him in a ten-meter radius.

There was cool and collected Shouto, swiftly gliding along an ice-crusted path formed by his quirk as he dodged attacks from a villain with a gigantification quirk. He used his ice to slide the remaining civilians to safety before encasing the villain in a thick layer of ice so quickly and suddenly that the sudden massive rush of cold air against the hot air of summer caused rain clouds to form. 

And then, there was loud and determined Dynamight, his face set in a crazily wicked grin as he blasted his way rapidly through the air. Each boom from his explosions got louder and louder until it started to mess with the audio input of the camera recording him. And then he let out an explosion so big, so intense at a villain that it lit up the sky in shades of tangerine and blood red that lasted for hours.

The difference, you’ve long come to realize, between heroes who battled villains and heroes who battled injury or disease, was stark. It was something you’d come to accept, even before getting your medical license. Where the pro-heroes spent their days fighting people who dared disturb the peace with danger, you spent yours bundled in your little white lab coat, treating injuries and comforting families. 

You weren’t incensed by it, oh no. You’d made your peace with it a long time ago. You were content with staying away from publicity and all of its consequences. And besides, you knew that society has always and would always have a need for doctors, no matter what little recognition you received. 

A door clicked open down the hall leading away from the living room, the soft pads of steps greeting your ears before a familiar figure emerged, bathed in the golden sunlight of dawn. Like this, his face and hair looked so soft, especially with his expression pulled into something that was akin to relaxed. 

“Mornin’,” Katsuki greeted you in a still sleep-crusted voice as he rounded the island to give you a chaste kiss on the cheek. You hummed a greeting, not-so-subtly eyeing the way he was dressed in a form-fitting, white tank top with loose grey sweats. He liked putting his crazily buff arms and shoulders on display for you, knowing you appreciated the view. The bastard.

“We still on for lunch later?” you asked him as you took another sip of your tea, listening to him poke around in the fridge for the overnight oats he’d prepped last night. He plopped down heavily onto the seat next to you, a spoon clutched in his hand.

“Yeah,” he grunted, popping open the lid to his oats before he started to mix it. “Noon, right?”

You nodded, glancing back at the television to watch part of the segment on Pinky and Chargebolt’s most recent villain takedown. The silence that encompassed the two of you was comfortable, the occasional clink of Katsuki’s spoon against his container mixing with the sounds of the narrator on the screen. 

“Hopefully Shitty Hair won’t fuckin’ bother us again,” he grumbled a bit later as he tugged on a light jacket near the door. You chuckled as you handed him his sunglasses and tucked some of his blond hair into the shadows of his hood. 

“Aww, you know he means well,” you told him with a soft smile, letting out another laugh when he just scoffed. Most of Katsuki’s friends still got excited whenever they saw you two spending time together -- even after all the time you both have been a couple. They just liked to tease him a lot, which you certainly understood.

But this, you thought to yourself as you gave him a kiss goodbye before he left for his agency, this was something you could get used to. This domestic feeling between a doctor and a hero, a duo you thought was a bit funny. 

And yet, you mused as you eventually left your shared apartment for your shift, it just made sense.

---

“Back again so soon, Deku?” you teased the number one pro as you entered his hospital room with a smile. He was still decked out in his hero suit, a couple of tears and rips here and there as he sat on the bed. A sheepish grin slid onto his face, his eyes crinkling as he rubbed a scarred hand against the back of his head. 

“You know how it is,” he told you as you hummed and started prodding at the bandages that covered his arms and face. Midoriya was the type of hero to put himself in harm’s way at any chance he had when it came to saving civilians. It always landed him in the hospital with fresh bruises and scrapes, though he never once was terribly concerned about it.

Heroes, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes in good nature. Always so self-sacrificing.

“I know,” you sighed out dramatically, pulling out a roll of bandages from your coat pocket so you could redo a set on his arm that was already stained with blood. You carefully peeled the medical tape away, then started unraveling the white material. “Well at least it gives me an excuse to talk to one of my favorite patients,” you told him with a wink before leaning in closer to whisper conspiratorially into his ear, “but don’t tell Katsuki that. I’d never hear the end of it.”

He blushed a little before stammering out something about keeping his lips sealed and you grinned, pinching his uninjured cheek. It was funny to you how flustered Midoriya got at the simplest of things. The literal Symbol of Peace. Strongest hero in the world.

“All right, you’re all set,” you said a bit later after you were done checking his injuries and rewrapping any cuts he had. You patted him on the shoulder as you stepped away, glancing at your phone to check the time. It was almost time for your lunch date with Katsuki. “You can sign yourself out and go back to saving the country now. I’ve gotta head out for lunch with Katsuki. He always gets all grumpy whenever I’m late.”

“Actually!” Midoriya spoke up as he hopped off of the hospital bed. You glanced at him with an eyebrow raised, silently telling him to continue. “I was thinking about heading over to Kacchan’s agency, too!”

You blinked then squinted your eyes at him in a suspicious manner. “This isn’t about you pestering him to do that long-term mission with you again, is it?” Katsuki had been pushing off talking to Midoriya about it for a few weeks now, seeing that it would force him to be with the Symbol of Peace for weeks -- alone -- and also halfway across the world. You didn’t think it was a good idea to leave Japan without its top two heroes for nearly a month, despite how strong all your other friends were. But also, Midoriya was stubbornly persistent. It was only a matter of time before Katsuki would (reluctantly) agree.

“N-no!” Midoriya stammered out in response, a bead of sweat suddenly appearing on his forehead. When all you did was squint at him even more, he looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe…”

“You know he’s just gonna tell you to fuck off again, right?” you sighed out, gesturing to him to follow you as you walked him to the receptionist’s desk to sign him out. “Personally, I think he would just miss his friends too much.” It was a nice thought to imagine, even though you knew it was something Katsuki would never admit out loud.

“I’ve just got to keep trying!” Midoriya said determinedly once you’d both set off down the street. You’d given him your sunglasses to wear, though it did little in the scheme of him adorning his hero suit. “He’s bound to agree eventually!” You only gave him a shrug at that, knowing it was likely true. You still didn’t know how to feel about being without Katsuki for a few weeks. You’ll survive, but it’ll suck.

One of the perks of working at the hero hospital you were situated in was that it was rather close to the Ground Zero agency in Musutafu. It was a nice walk for whenever you wanted to stretch out your legs. You chatted idly with Midoriya as you both made your way to a familiar five-story building, pushing open its doors to enter into the bustling space.

“Oh, hey guys!” a voice almost instantly greeted, and you turned your head to see Kirishima waving his hand from near the elevators. You called out your own greeting as you and Midoriya walked past the receptionist’s desk to join him. “Looking for Bakugou?”

“Yep,” you replied, glancing at your phone once more to see it was a few minutes past noon. Nice. “I’m having lunch with him and Midoriya here wants to pester him about that mission to the states.” 

“Good luck with that,” Kirishima told Midoriya with a grimace, the elevator doors opening to let all three of you on. You pressed the button for the fifth floor. “Bakubro’s been grumpy all morning with the reports he’s had to redo.” 

“I keep telling him to do them properly,” you rolled your eyes, “he never listens.” 

“He’ll say yes,” Midoriya firmly restates once you all got off the elevator and started to walk toward Katsuki’s office. His door was firmly closed. There were a few other people walking around who greeted you before hurrying off to take care of other hero-related business. “He has to. I’m sure of it.”

“Whatever you say, man.” Kirishima shrugged before pushing open the door to Katsuki’s office, letting out a loud “Yo! Bakubro!” 

You liked Katsuki’s office since the entire left wall was made of reinforced glass, allowing you to see more of the city. It also let in a lot of natural light, which made the space look absolutely gorgeous with all of its mahogany furniture and neat bookshelves. You raised a hand in greeting once you made eye contact with Katsuki, then walked off to the mini fridge he had stashed in the corner of his office. 

“Shitty Hair,” Katsuki grunted in acknowledgement from behind his desk before his eyes landed on Midoriya. He scowled. “Deku. Fuck off.” 

“Told yoooou!” you sang out as you grabbed the two bentos from the fridge and gently kicked the door closed with your heel. You turned just in time to see Midoriya pout at you. You made your way over to Katsuki’s desk, setting them down on an area that wasn’t covered in paper, before you pulled over the chair he had for you and plopped down in it. You were starving, so you wasted no time in opening your bento and prying your chopsticks apart. 

“But Kacchan!” Midoriya protested, walking closer to Katsuki’s desk. “You know it’s a mission that we could get done well together--”

“I said fuck. Off,” Katsuki snarled as he stood up abruptly and glared at his childhood friend. You rolled your eyes before batting away Kirishima’s hand that’d been trying to sneak a piece of teriyaki from your bento. “Ask someone else.”

“Aww, maybe you should give it a chance Bakugou,” Kirishima piped up, successfully managing to nab a piece of chicken from you as you gave him the stink eye. 

“No. Both of you, get out.”

“But--!!”

“I said out or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Midoriya sighed and Kirishima walked over to him to give him a clap on the shoulder, muttering something indecipherable to him. Katsuki glared at them until they were out of the door, only to scowl when Midoriya stuck his head back in with a determined expression. “I’m not giving up, Kacchan! Think about it!” Then he was gone, only to be replaced with Kirishima’s head.

“Chief of Police wants those reports in by the end of the day, by the way,” he said and Katsuki grunted in response. Kirishima then grinned widely, his sharp teeth on full display. “Have fun on your lunch date!” he teased, only to duck away as Katsuki threw a pen at him. The redhead laughed loudly, then thankfully shut the door, knowing when to take a hint.

Katsuki let out a sigh, plopping down heavily onto his chair before he rubbed at his temples. You swallowed down the rice in your mouth and patted his shoulder sympathetically. “You know, he’s just gonna keep pestering you until you agree.”

“I fucking know,” he groaned as he grabbed his bento and pried it open. He viciously snapped his chopsticks, then started shoveling rice into his mouth. You hoped he wouldn’t choke. “Damn Deku never knows when to give up.” He scowled deeply, a grain of rice stuck to his cheek. 

You picked it off and wiped your finger on a napkin from your pocket. “And? Have you thought about it?”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” he sighed, running his free hand through his hair as he glared at one of the reports on his desk. You knew anything Midoriya said or did was not without reason. You also knew that Katsuki knew this as well. Besides, he was right; they both did work extremely well together -- which was surprising, given their past and how much they squabbled even as adults.

You hummed. “Well, then you know what you have to do, don’t you?”

Katsuki’s crimson eyes turned to look at you, a frown pulling at his lips. He exhaled, then looked back down at his food with a glare so strong you thought you saw smoke rising from the piece of salmon he was staring at. 

“Yeah,” he grumbled. “I do.”

---

“So this guy came in,” you said, leaning forward a bit as you relished internally at the eyes glued to your figure, “and he was like ‘I think I’m pregnant’. I took one look at him and the man looked like he was in his third trimester. Naturally, my first reaction was ‘Well, what the fuck?’ because his sex was male, and the nurses who were also looking after him were absolutely stumped.”

“He wasn’t actually pregnant, was he?” Kaminari asked, looking as though he was hanging on desperately to every word that left your mouth. His face was slightly flushed from all the alcohol he had consumed within the last few hours. “That’s impossible, isn’t it?” 

“Well, yes,” you replied, taking a short sip of the drink you had clutched in your hand. “But get this. I ordered an ultrasound for him, and you know what I found?” 

“What?” Kirishima breathed, eyes wide in anticipation. You paused for dramatic effect. 

“Teeth,” you said simply. “And hair.” 

“So he was pregnant!” Kaminari exclaimed, bolting upright so suddenly that some of the sake in his glass spilled over onto his hand. “I knew it.” 

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Katsuki scoffed. You glanced besides you just in time to see him roll his eyes. He was slumped onto the couch next to you, an arm thrown over the back of it. You could feel his hand playing with the cloth on your shoulder, rubbing the material between his fingers. You let out a small laugh at the pout that appeared on Kaminari’s face. 

“But then, what was it?” Kirishima asked, his expression twisted in a look that made it seem like he was thinking very hard about it. 

“It was just a massive tumor,” you said with a grin, waving your free hand around. “They do that sometimes, you know? This guy was just unlucky enough that he had it right on his abdomen.” You patted your stomach with your hand, watching as Kaminari’s face fell slightly. 

“So he wasn’t pregnant,” he sighed out with a frown, staring down at his drink as though it had betrayed him personally. 

“No,” you laughed slightly when Kaminari flopped over onto the floor, disappointed. “It was very strange though. Even made it to the news.” 

“Man!” Kirishima suddenly exclaimed, clapping his hands together from his position sitting next to Kaminari. “The medical field has some pretty interesting stories!”

“Oh yeah,” you smiled as you leaned back against Katsuki’s chest, “I’ve got loads of stories. They’re probably not as impressive as some of the things you guys have done, though.” You could feel Katsuki’s fingers stop moving as he watched you carefully from the corner of his eye. You tried not to look at him.

“Pssht, hero-ing has its boring parts too,” Kaminari waved his hand as he sat back up sloppily, “Sometimes you just capture the villain and nothing exciting happens. Other times you just sit in your office doing all the piles of paperwork.” He took a sip of his drink. “They don’t exactly advertise that part to the public.” 

“Yeah!” Kirishima nodded his head in agreement. “Lots of background stuff you gotta do. And sometimes nothing happens on patrols.”

“It gets so boorrringggg when nothing happens!” Kaminari whined out, inevitably spilling some of his drink onto the floor. Katsuki glared at him as he attempted to clumsily wipe it with his shirt sleeve. 

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo,” Katsuki  growled, “you knew what you were signing up for. Suck it up.” 

“So mean, Kacchan!” Kaminari sniffled and you figured that was a sign to wrap things up for the night. You helped Kirishima pick up an inebriated Kaminari from the floor and walked them down to his car, waving farewell as they pulled away. When you got back up to your apartment, Katsuki had already cleaned up, so you joined him in your bedroom, where he was laying down, staring up at the ceiling. 

You crawled into bed next to him, propping yourself on your elbow before you poked his cheek. He glanced over at you. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Just thinkin’ ‘bout leaving tomorrow,” he said quietly, turning on his side so he could properly face you. Your eyes flicked over his visage, memorizing all the tiny details that made up his face as though this was the last time you would ever get to see him. “You gonna be fine on your own?”

“What am I, five?” you joked, laughing a little when Katsuki only frowned at you. A small smile tugged at your lips and you ran a hand through his soft hair before letting your palm rest on his cheek. “I’ll be fine. It’s you I’m more worried about. Sure you won’t miss me too much?” You were teasing him, trying to get him to stop looking so contemplative. He mumbled something under his breath, then sighed, bringing his hand up to rest over yours.

“We’ll finish that fucking mission so fast you won’t even have time to miss me,” he told you instead, and you rolled your eyes when a small smirk formed on his lips. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you told him, leaning closer so you could press a kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes momentarily, then opened them when you pressed your head against his, your noses rubbing together slightly. You inhaled, then exhaled slowly, ingraining the smell of caramel apples into your brain. 

“Just make sure you come back in one piece,” you whispered against his skin. 

---

Katsuki’s absence in the following weeks was loud. Almost too loud, at times.

You would sit in the living room of your shared apartment, and notice just how quiet it was without him bustling around in the kitchen or grumbling to himself at a news report. You tried not to let it bother you too much, focusing on work and chatting with the friends who were still in Japan. But they were also busy, since -- as expected -- villain appearances increased with Dynamight and Deku out of the country. It was terrible in the first few days they were gone, but your friends were quite strong, and they’d managed to reel everything back in order pretty fast.

You still went to the Ground Zero agency to have lunch with Kirishima or Kaminari sometimes. Occasionally Ashido would be there as well, though it was rare with how busy she was. They told you Katsuki would be back before you knew it, and you appreciated it, you did. You were a patient person anyways. It was only a matter of time.

You still kept in contact with him, of course. Whenever he or you weren’t busy, you’d call or text. It was a bit difficult, though, with the time difference. He couldn’t tell you everything about the mission he was on either, but you knew it likely had something to do with quirk-related drugs, since they’d been popping up everywhere and sending their users to hospitals.

“Deku’s been jumpin’ all over the place meeting with U.S. heroes,” he told you one night when you’d called him to say good night -- though he had just woken up for the day. “The nerd’s never been more excited. It’s disgusting.”

“Aww, let him have this,” you chided him with a small laugh, thinking about how eager Midoriya probably was at getting to meet American heroes. The mission was probably also kind of diplomatic as well. “And how do you feel, huh? About the new people?”

“I can kick all of their asses in my sleep,” he declared and you laughed louder this time, a fond smile stretching across your face. 

“I’m sure you can,” you told him amusedly, and he huffed in a way that told you he was pleased. “Well, make sure you do whatever you gotta do and get back home, all right? Japan needs its best heroes.”

“Yeah,” he went quiet for a bit, “...I miss seeing your shitty face.”

You chuckled, eyes crinkling slightly as you smiled even wider than before. “Yeah, well, I miss your ugly face, too.”

---

You’d been checking the hospital’s stock of epinephrine when you found out.

A nurse slammed open the door to the cool storage room you were in, navy scrubs askew as they looked at you, their face dripping with sweat and their chest heaving from the effort it took to find you. You immediately dropped the clipboard and pen you were holding, your body on autopilot as you ran to the emergency department of the hospital even before they could finish telling you what had happened. 

“Doc, i-it’s Dynamight. He’s in critical condition in the E.R.--”

You couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe even as you rapidly scrubbed your hands and tugged on your white gloves, bolting through the door into the surgery room housing Katsuki where there was already a swarm of doctors milling about, shouting and yelling above the rapid drone of a heart monitor. 

And white, you thought so brokenly as you finally saw him covered in bandages and sheets, was not an unassuming color when it was tainted in dark burgundy. When it was saturated so deeply with the liquid signifying death. His blood. His. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” one of the other doctors told you when she finally noticed you standing frozen at the door. “You know you can’t treat him like this, it’s not allowed.” 

You knew that. You knew you couldn’t; doctors with any kind of relationship to a patient couldn’t treat them -- not when it was so serious like this. It was different than you doing those simple check-ups you’d been doing before. But you had to be here, you just had to. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, at the large piece of metal protruding from his torso. Your heart sank, a cold feeling spreading throughout your body. The color was nearly drained from his skin, an oxygen mask attached firmly to his face as his breathing stuttered from time to time. There was no way he would survive something like this. Once that piece of metal was removed, he only had minutes left before he would die. 

He would die. 

You felt cold.

“No, wait,” another doctor spoke up when they saw you. They said your name. “I-I think you might have to use your quirk for this. It’ll give us more tim--”

“He won’t survive something like this even if we had our best surgeons,” a nurse interrupted as she looked at the heart monitor. It was slowing down. “Even if it did give us time, what could we do?”

“Keep trying,” you whispered out, then cleared your throat and spoke up louder, catching the attention of most of the doctors in the room. There was a numb feeling spreading throughout your body, but you ignored it. “We keep trying, and we look for someone who can help.” If there is someone. You tugged the gloves off of your hands and stepped towards Katsuki’s bed, positioning yourself right by his head. 

“I’ll do it,” you said firmly as you smoothed spiky ash-blond hair from his damp forehead. You looked up at the doctors in charge of the surgery. “Remove the metal. We don’t have much time. Japan’s number two hero isn’t gonna die on our watch.” You said that last bit firmly, willing yourself to believe it. 

Seconds seemed like eternities as the surgeons carefully removed the chunk of metal from his torso. You watched, stroking his hair gently, as it left his body. Then you sprung into action, resting your hands against the gaping hole that spanned nearly the entire length of his abdomen. You concentrated, the sounds around you fading away to a low hum as your hands emitted a warm, peach light. 

The wound started to shrink, muscle and skin knitting together rapidly under your gaze as you put all your energy into closing him up. 

It took you two minutes and thirty-five seconds until he looked good as new. A glance at the clock on the wall told you it was midnight.

As soon as your hands left his torso, you collapsed backwards onto the floor, breathing heavily as the doctors around you leapt into action. You looked up at the heart monitor as it stabilized, accepting the assistance of a nurse as they helped you up. Katsuki let out a deep sigh in his sleep, and you wiped sweat from your face as blood bags were hooked up to the crook of his right arm. The color was slowly returning to his face. 

He’s fine, you assured yourself as you accompanied the doctors pushing him to a vacant room. You sat down near his bed, one of your hands clutching desperately onto his own warm one. He’s fine.

You swallowed heavily. 

Everything still felt numb.

---

Sometimes you wished Katsuki had never gone on that stupid mission with Midoriya. 

It was a completely rational thought, even as you lay in bed, listening to his heartbeat as he slept away. You’d found out from Katsuki one night that he’d gotten impaled trying to save Midoriya from a blow that would’ve pierced through his heart. They’d been attacked as they were traveling back to Japan, and Midoriya just barely had enough time to get Katsuki to the hospital you worked at. To you.

Stupid heroes, you thought to yourself, wiping a hot tear from your eye. Stupid heroes and their stupid self-sacrificing bullshit.

Maybe Midoriya had known you were Katsuki’s only chance to survive, you thought ruefully, tracing circles into the tank top Katsuki was wearing. Maybe you were. But it didn’t feel like it. You glanced at your phone. Midnight.

You sat up in bed just in time to see a dark spot of red form on the white of Katsuki’s tank top. Inevitably stained, once more. Carefully, so as to not wake him, you peeled the shirt back, seeing a small wound start to form on his abdomen. You glanced at his face to see it start to twist in pain as the wound started to get steadily larger and larger, blood threatening to spill onto the white sheets of your bed.

You sighed and placed your hands against it, concentrating once more as that familiar peach light enveloped your hands and his torso. After two minutes and thirty-five seconds the wound disappeared, and you felt more than saw Katsuki’s body relax against the mattress. His breathing continued on, undisturbed. 

It was the same song and dance every night. Directly at midnight.

“You really do like to worry me,” you exhaled in a whisper as you grabbed a wet wipe from the nightstand beside you, wiping the blood from your hands before tossing it in the small trash can near your side of the bed. It was almost full; you would have to empty it soon.

You carefully lay back down, resting your head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat, steadily thumping away. Thump, thump, thump, a reassurance. You closed your eyes.

You often wondered how long this would need to continue; this seemingly never ending cycle of injury and healing. You never wished so strongly for a better quirk than at this moment. A quirk that maybe wasn’t so useless. So temporary. Would you be trapped in this loop for the foreseeable future? You didn’t know. Still, you pressed through it, hoping that one day you wouldn’t have to anymore.

His life was in your hands.

You wished it wasn’t.