#idek if i explained my point
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever 😔
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Theres a difference between the fandom infantilising Jack as a teen/adult and him literally being a baby/ a few years old.
#idek how to explain it#esp in fics#im trying so hard to explain my thoughts but its not working#and i dont want to make the wrong point#maybe someone else can put it into words better than me#supernatural#spn#jack kline
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Help
Why am I reading Wikipedia articles about post-structuralism and anti-humanism when I'm stupid-tired?
#personal#random#philosophy#sorta get the critique of humanism and human rights as being...intrinsically tied to Western colonialist culture#but I haven't got to a part that explains a better alternative yet#also I can personally relate to all the stuff about like...existence and truth and reality being irrevocably tied to and shaped by language#I'm a super verbal thinker (and I can't draw for shit) and I can't communicate any of my thoughts or experiences without words really#buuuuuut I'm pretty sure that's not true for everyone so idk how that works#let alone for people who are non-verbal?#also I'm like 50/50 whether I understand any of this or not#I frickin hated semiotics in my methodology class because the professor did not explain it well#and I'm pretty sure none of knew wtf he was talking about based on looking around the room at about a dozen similarly blank faces#just something about what painting the Forth Bridge forever meant idek#I was so burnt out at that point#grad school was a mistake#nvm
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#idek man. he had dreams too. and he was a person. with dreams. with love.#my love hate relationship with this faggot is mad not gonna explain#i am not angry about him not coming back btw but i think gege wasted the potential of the manga overall#like.. i think some of the theories was better than the real#it's just bad. like. what was the point#at least i am happy nobara is back#i never took jjk too seriously it was never perfect to begin with but it could be much better#ilay.txt#jjk
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idk ik people don’t like valentines bc corporate holiday rahahhah but i just like it as a day to love my friends and love my family and love my fictional characters and wear cute pink and red outfits and skip around giving red velvet cookies and be happy idk
#:D#☕️!- clove speaks#like Martha speaks#Idk I was in a relationship for one Valentine’s Day and it sucked bc I wished him a happy Valentine’s Day and he ranted ab how it was a#scheme for corporate business to make more money and YEAH#Ik it is but we were long distance and he didn’t have to get anything and all I wanted was to be told I was loved#and tbh after getting out of the relationship idek if I loved him in a normal way I don’t think anything about my attraction to people has#been necessarily normal and now I don’t really think relationships are something I even want anymore#But idk#Valentine’s Day as a day to appreciate things I love#I LOVE my friends I love my family#I love I love I love and none of it is wasted#romantic relationships will never be more important to me than platonic I think#especially after being in a toxic/abusive “romantic” relationship and the only thing that helped me leave it was help from my friends#I’ll never have a friend I regretted loving they were all important to me at some point and helped me grow#it’s hard bc I’ve always felt idk… aceflux? aroflux? And it was very hard to explain to a partner HEY sometimes my love for you isn’t#romantic sometimes it’s platonic sometimes I don’t know how to explain it but I still love you I still want you in my life#Idk none of this matters#If u read this SMASH THE LIKE BUTTON AND HIT SUBSCRIBE
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so much of my blogging whenever I have classes is complaining about them but erm. in my defense they're stressful and overwhelming
#So ermm to vent a little bit#i dont know how to do anything on my own so the expectance for me to be able to for these classes is a lot#Like for this thing i need to write an essay outline based on an introduction paragraph only. which i think? means i have to find sources#for the details on my own. which i dont know how to do#i do know /technically/ but i dont know whats good information and trustworthy sources and also there's so much stuff to sort through#i was never taught how to do it and now when i try its just. confusing and frustrating and exhausting and makes me too upset to even keep#trying to work#and im not even sure what all of these points in the outline means because where it probably wouldve been explained was the lecture which#was canceled and the powerpoint for this week doesnt cover it#and there's the textbook but textbooks are nothing to me i cant process and retain information from them#which hey sucks for my online classes that are wholey based around teaching yourself from the textbooks#(but i cant do in person classes due to transportation reasons + mental health reasons)#but augh#im such a guy who cant do anything by myself and getting the amount of help i need isnt an option idek how to ask for any amount of help#like yeah email my professors but tell them what? i dont know how to do the class i signed up for?#that i dont know how to do basics 101 school shit? like im confused about some of the work and by some i pretty much mean all#and eaugh its not a frustration i can push through because trying to push through it just makes it worse it tips past#''oh idk how to do this. fuck''#into ''oh god i dont know anything about how to function im literally worthless''#which. i think i said earlier? makes it so i cant. work on anything anymore.#but also its not an option for me not to work bc i cant fail bc ill be expelled or whatever and charged money and what then#joyousposting#negative //#anyway sorry for getting suicide ideation over school back to regularly scheduled blorboposting or whatever
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sh mention ig
reading sh fics to cope with. withdraw??? (would that be the word 🧍) but it only making you want to do it more
#j’s a bloody mess#helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme#all i wanna do rn is cutttttttt but i cant and wontttt but i wannaaaaaaa#dkdhsancome onnnnn itd feel so good rn plssss#its killing me i wanna feel the burning and see the blood plssss i cant do this#idek how id talk to anyone abt this#like. idk how to explain i feel like im going insane from the lack of sh#but at the same time i dont wanna break my ‘streak’#and the longer i put it off. the more guilt ill feel when/if i do#its been like. 2? 3? months since i have (i think idk i didnt keep track) and just#idk foaming at the mouth at the idea of it#i feel so worthless and pathetic that i dont anymore. but at the same time ill hate myself more if im a disappointment to them#also. adding on to the original point. i feel sorta sick ish? when i only read fluff/smut/ really anything that doesnt have some sorta harm#in it. but again. at the same time. reading it makes me wanna do it more.#is the answer to just. stop reading or smth??????#(ofc i wont. ill be fine. i think. but still kinda sucks)
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roommate's partially blind(?) female turtle keeps doing this today to elevate her basking game
#it's possible it's a mating thing but they're both very young and again she's female so. less likely to me than#that she was like 'oh sweet more rock im gonna be so tall' but im also not a turtle expert#note: this turns into a rant about these turtles' conditions like 4 tags in#ive never seen her do this before#also don't blame me for the tub setup roomie straight up Does Not Know what she's doing at all#im trying to nudge her into like. proper care and stuff right. and trying to make sure they don't die#and with some things it's more an issue of being able to get the proper supplies rather than not knowing#but i told her to get a bulb that. yk. actually gives off heat (again) and gave her an approximate wattage yesterday#and i found out today that she was planning on getting a regular light bulb witt that wattage#i had to explain to her that heat bulbs exist and you shouldn't like. pick a bulb not designed for heating To Heat just bc it has the same#wattage. head in my hands i want to keep this lighthearted but it's kind of extremely distressing to me tbqh#did she not research at all before getting them?? she's had them for at least a year how has she not wondered why her turtle's eyes don't#open??? etc???? and she just lets them chill in an open tupperware and though she chastises rascal for swatting at them#she's gone like 18 hours of the day so it's not like she's there to stop him#guhh my point is if she had these time/financial restraints beforehand it was really irresponsible to get all these pets#and then not fucking take care of them!!! if you can't get them incredibly basic necessities then hold off on taking on the responsibility#of another creature's life!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!#ugh i know firsthand how depression can fuck with pet care in some ugly ways but she Keeps getting pets#this was a three time mistake not a one time mistake and she seems so unbotherwd#and she's fine with dealing with the problems she just Does Not Notice Them because (afaict) she's just not paying attention or wondering#but i don't know?!!! i don't know. very conflicted feelings about my roommate to be honest#i was terrified to learn that she would be my roommate and im very Not Cool with the animal neglect thing#nor the fact that she's apparently cheating on her bf (she blames him ofc) but idek what to do or say about that#but she's also very friendly? it's a really weird dynamic. we're on good terms but i wouldn't call her a good person#arghhhh whatever. whatever. i have since moved top turtle (😐) off since i dunno if she could get down on her own#+ i dont want bottom turtle (😐😐) to shake her off. shell or not im not risking it
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Ugh why do my hands feel so bad
#meows#it’s not cramping or sores or something#idek how to explain it other than those times when#I suddenly become aware my toes are touching#and it mentally hurts. but ya know with my fingers#it was mentally hurting me to use my hands today#and at one point I had to just stop and give up#trying to write or type#it still hurts now
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JFJEOSSK STOP I feel like I’d look better if it looked like I lost blood circulation (as in I become paper white pale) OR I get a tan because my current skin tone looks like my skin has seen terrors beyond human comprehension IT LOOKS TIRED LMFAO
#I’m not bothered going outside under the sun not to mention Australia has a literal hole in the ozone layer I don’t want skin cancer tyvm#so ig it’s paper pale then (oh dang getting whitewashed irl Genshin sumeru character style LMAO)#except … idk how to achieve that sorcery 😔#although Lisa from blackpink rlly changed her skin tone a lot but then again she’s rich and her company spends sm on her appearance I DONT#HAVE A COMPANY SPONSORING MY STUFF WHAT DO I DO 😔#I guess I’ll stay looking like a weird in between of white and tan for the rest of my days 😭 like if I was either one of them it’d look goo#BUT I’m this weird in between to the point idek what my skin tone is 😭 like it’s different everywhere regardless of where clothes covers et#I have a reason why it’s like that#I remember asking my mum why my skin looks so yellow ? or idek how to explain it#she said when I was a baby or something she asked the doctor and the doctor was like cause my mums super pale and my dad is brown it’s what#would happen to the child they just turn like a weird skin tone yellow#UGH like sure I’m not brown BUT IF I WERE EITHER MY MUMS OR DADS SKIN TONE ENTIRELY none of this weird mixing it’d look better 😭#gosh what do I do …. 😞#dora daily
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,,,
#on the verge of tears searching for resources on getting a hysterectomy/bilateral salpingo oophorectomy bc like#i wanna ask a dr about getting that esp while im on my parents insurance still#but mostly for gender affirming reason#and im not a guy so i dont. think theyll believe me or let me#so im probably gonna be too scared to ask and never get this done and be stuck w it#idk.. i hate this. i hate knowing what i wish my body would be like and that it will never be possible and steps i can take to get closer#to how i wanna be are almost definitely going to be denied plus from my research phalloplasty just has too many risks#to the point im really disillusioned. not to mention a huge hurdle will probably be explaining one of the few parts of my body i like is#traditionally feminine so i want to keep that but not other things idk#im expecting not to be listened to and to be stuck with just a plethora of things that god now im crying idek how to explain myself#but i need to ask bc ill never have good insurance again plus i. dont want to freak out and hurt myself bc i hate my body.#god knows ive fantasized about it. fuck. fuck. i hate myself i hate this fucking world.#i get hopeful and then i get terrified and refuse to attempt anything bc im scared of getting disappointed#so i just fuck myself over. but i also feel like this isnt an irrational fear. idk idk. idk. fuck.
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Lmfao went on that acc n the way they were talkin mad shit with their friend like yall thought....I was mad? You had to make a sub post n cry with ur friend about how I'm crazy cause I said it's weird to romanticize wealth like okay love...hope u realize you'll never be wealthy n u can learn that striving for that is delusional.
Like its funny how dumb ppl r bc if we all fuckin realized this then we'd actually all have a better quality of life but no I guess they dont care about anyone but themselves lol.
#talking about the acc from my last reblog ofc#idek why they're so mad bc that proves im right lol?#their response was soooo like silly#n made 0 points LMFAO#like if I was saying nonsense u coulda explained what u meant#but u couldnt bc I was right#honestly it makes me sad#how many ppl on here constantly r like tryna use spirituality#for such worldly desires#like yall do not look deeply enough inside yourselves#thats why ur still obsessed with beauty and wealth#but think its not vain bc ur doing it through spirituality lol#but its sad bc it just shows how little self esteem ppl have#and how you think you can claw your way out of hell alone#but if we all tried#then we'd all be free#but ppl buy into the delusion but honestly#its not even their fault#bc its set up to be like that#yall r falling for literal propaganda#they want us to think we can do it alone#or that we can will it into existence for ourselves#bc they know that'll keep us busy from actually working together#bc then they would actually be fucked#anywas anyone shilling for a billionaire is just stupid regardless#i just hope they're young bc if not....its embarrassing at the very least#n pathetic and going to ruin their life when they finally realize they wont amount to anything#by tryna play by the rules of a broken system
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People need to understand that atheism can and does exist outside of anti-religion, atheism means you don't believe in God not that you rejected religion.
I dont believe that God exists, I still wouldn't believe in God even if religions everywhere were the most amazing communities of all time, my lack of belief in god is entirely unchanged by the people who do believe in God.
Many conversations about atheism don't consider the existence of the second generation atheist, let alone more. Atheism is almost universally framed as some kind of personal rejection of one's upbringing, culture, family, and/or society, to one degree or another. There is not much widespread awareness of the fact that some atheists were raised that way.
But second generation and more atheists already exist, and as open atheists grow as a demographic, for more and more of them the answer to "Why are you an atheist?" is not going to be a long, involved story of self discovery or a bitter rejection, a principled decision or a sharp retort, but simply "Well, that's how my family was." Does your concept of atheism account for their existence?
How does the concept of children being raised by atheist parents make you feel? If it makes you feel uncomfortable, or like the children are missing out on something, you may need to unpack that. What responsibilities do you feel that atheist parents have to their children's religious education, and do you apply those same standards to religious parents? If you find yourself with a double standard, ask yourself if the higher one or the lower one is more reasonable to apply broadly.
The big question here is this: do you consider atheism to be an idea that can be held independently, or a solely reactive concept?
#im like multi gen atheist sort of#idek if my dads family were ever religious#probably at some point I guess#my mums family is an odd one shes kinda first gen atheist but her mum and her grandad were both atheists#Despite their atheism they raised their kids catholic#it was very like 'we're a religious family but these members happen to not believe in it'#idk how to explain
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“I’ll show you how a real man treats a woman” - Park Sunghoon .
 
cw: Mentions of cheating, College! AU, roomie!sunghoon, revenge sex, protected (pls wrap it up.), consensual. (Non consensual activities isn’t Valid.), phone call fucking, recording. (Practically recording since your being shown on call), Exhibitionism,cunnilingus, polite! Sunghoon - (polite men are so AGHH) , aftercare massage, comfort words, pet names (good girl, gorgeous, etc.)
A/n: I’m writing this san fic but Idk if I’ll ever release it. Because holy shit writers block is a bitch. I actually finished the story. But I used some words or lines from my san fic holy shiett. Also I’m new to writing Smut So idek if this is good.
“Are you fucking serious, Aaron, you’re fucking my bestfriend?” You said. Agitated. Who could blame you? “It was an impulse, y/n. You would’ve done the same if you were me.” He tried to defend himself but you didn’t want to hear it. You Walked into Your boyfriend, getting it on with your bestfriend. “I can’t believe you either Mara.” You Snapped. You not only Felt angry, but you felt betrayed. “Wait, y/n please. Let me explain” Mara begged you to at least hear her out but you didnt, you grabbed your phone from the Countertop and immediately left.
-‘sunghoon im going back to the dorms.’ You immediately texted him.
-‘hm? Something bad happened between you guys?’ He Replied with a tone of Curiosity, he was Nosey. But that’s Not the point right now.
-‘worse, he cheated on me with Mara.’ You revealed. Meanwhile Sunghoon wasn’t really surprised but didn’t want to be that person who says ‘I told you so’ because he doesn’t want to make you Mad either.
-‘well, im sorry. I’ll be waiting for you at the dorms.’ He felt Obviously bad for you, his Apology was genuine. Of course Aaron was a dick. Before you guys even started dating. He slept around a lot. To the point where like the whole female population on campus probably knows how he is in bed. He was obnoxious. And he had known something was Wrong with him.
You made it back to your Dorm, Punching in your Pin and The door Made a little click! You walked into the dorm, your footsteps Heavy as You plopped onto the couch. This was to much to take In, sunghoon was In his bedroom but Had heard to come into the dorm, getting up from his bedroom and greeting you.
“I’m sorry y/n.” He said. He hadn’t done anything but he had still appeared to be apologetic. “So, you just walked into their ‘sesssion’? That’s. Great.” He said with obvious sarcasm. You knew that sunghoon hadn’t liked him, one bit. Not because he was dating you. actually maybe that but he had heard by some women around campus always twirling their hair and Giggling just talking about Aaron.
“I’m sorry to say this but, he’s a man-whore y/n.” He admitted his Feelings about Aaron. “Why should you be sorry? It’s true. He Wows every girl he comes across and brings them all home.” Sunghoon then Furrowed his eyebrows. “And you stayed? That’s a lot of dedication, have you to even slept together?” He was so surprised, why would you stay with him, even after cheating and Toxicity from him? “No, we haven’t even kissed.” You were a little ashamed, what was even the point of staying with him, when you guys haven’t even kissed once??
“Goddamnit, y/n you’re hopeless, he doesn’t know How to take care of his own girlfriend? Meanwhile he’s sleeping around with other women? No y/n. It’s not that he Doesn’t Like you. It’s because he Doesn’t Fuck with you. Are you that dense?” Sunghoon Already Lecturing you about relationships and How dumb you were being When in your Relationship with Aaron wasn’t comforting either. “You’re not helping Sunghoon. Are you jealous?” You asked him. I mean maybe sometimes he seemed jealous but you just assumed that.
“Jealous? What is there to be jealous of? he’s just a man-child. Who can’t control himself infront of woman, looking at one and immediately popping a boner. That’s Not a man Y/n. That’s a boy. And let me tell me, I know how to Take care of a woman. Like a real man.” You were immediately silenced. “What? Did i Silence you because you’re scared? Or because you know I’m right?” Oh my god the way he was speaking to you was Lowkey Hot. Wait. Y/n that’s your roommate. You just got out of a relationship with your cheating boyfriend. You can’t just homie hop out of nowhere.
“I’m not scared of you, you’re not right either!” You weren’t lying. You were in denial. All your Time with Aaron you thought he wanted you so bad but it was the opposite. You knew sunghoon is a 100% right. But your ego was hurt from the Fact that your ‘boyfriend’ didn’t Even vibe with you. “Oh, so I’m not right? You’d rather be living all your life; lying to yourself, that your boyfriend who doesn’t even love you. Loves you?” He said In disbelief. This girl.. “you’re absolutely pathetic, y/n. It’s sad, sadder than the notebook.” He said infront of your face. You remember he said he Knew How to Treat a woman and how he was such a ‘man’
“You’re not a man at all sunghoon, you’re not a saint at all!!..you’re just some Boy.” You don’t even know what you were saying. But that pissed sunghoon off. “ ‘Some boy’? I’m just ‘some boy’? Y/n. You’re actually Ridiculous.. if you’re just gonna let yourself get cheated on, you’re just gonna keep complaining about it. And nagging me. You’re gonna keep getting hurt y/n, it’s not healthy. I’m not saying these things To be mean.
If you don’t. Get hurt by your boyfriend Cheating. Then you shouldn’t be hurt by Some criticism.” He knew He was right, you were just insecure and needs At least one thing you said, right. “Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re hurting and placing the blame on me because you still stayed that whole time when he was cheating on you.” He Chuckled. My god you Were miserable.
“That’s a low thing you could do, y/n placing the Blame on your roomie? That’s not nice is it?” He shifted closer to you On the couch. still Mad but He had a sly Look on his face. “How about I show you, how a real man treats a woman like you?” You were enticed. Man. Sex with sunghoon? Yes please. You immediately nodded, but had thought for a Moment.
“Sunghoon?” You Asked him, not knowing if he’d even hear your Proposal out. “Yes, y/n?” He Asked back. “Can you call my ex while we fuck?” You said that so boldly, Sunghoon was caught off guard by the proposal, but had nodded. “Sure. So this is revenge sex, right?” He asked you. Making sure That he wasn’t getting any wrong idea.
“Yes, revenge sex. Even if he calls while we’re fucking. Answer. And turn the fucking camera on. Alright?” Sunghoon had pink Spots on his face and nodded. Showing yourself to your ex on phone call, fucking your roommate was not what He was expecting to hear from you. But he nodded. “Yeah, alright.” He looked over at you and Had Glanced into your eyes. “May i?” He asked softly he wasn’t afraid to kiss you or anything but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Yes, please sunghoon.”
You Nodded desperately. He smiled softly and moved your hair behind your delicate face. Kissing you softly. He grabbed you by the hips, you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, one Hand on your waist, the other on your Ass. He walked over to his bedroom, with you in his Arms,he swiftly opened the door with his hand, carrying you with only his hand on your ass. He kicked the door softly. The door clicking close. He Gently laid you onto his bed. Taking in all of you. And Smiled. “You’re genuinely so pretty, y/n.
“Im really not, Sunghoon.” You Rejected his compliment and Remained humble, a little too humble. “Y/n, kindly shut up and take the compliment from me. I mean it, you’re too harsh on yourself.” He replied to your Comment about yourself he took his jacket off, a subtle little smile on his face. God bless his future wife on the first night. He zipped his jacket off, taking it off and tossing it onto his chair. He Rolled his sleeves up and he walked over to you. “May I take this skirt off?” Was that even a question? Yes,yes,yes. “Yes,yes,yes, please take it off.” You were getting desperate. But come on. It was Park Sunghoon.
“Alright. lift those hips up for me.” He mumbled against his breath. You complied, raising your hips up. “Good girl, let’s take those off.” He murmured and Slid your Skort (skirts and shorts) down to your ankles , letting Them fall down. They fell down your ankles, onto the floor. He glanced over at your pretty underwear. They were a white lacey underwear with strawberries on it, of course with that signature pink bow at the waistband. There was already a damp spot at the front. Which sunghoon immediately noticed. “You’re wet already?” He Asked you with Amusement in his voice, you could hear that smile in his voice.
“N-no. That’s Just. Uhmm. Yeah I am.” You said, ashamed and a little bit embarrassed about that. He Chuckled at your Response and embarrassment and He he ran his hand up and down your fabric-covered folds.making you shiver. “You like that?” He Asked you, making sure you were comfortable. He grabbed a few pillows. And placed one under your back and another under your head so you were at least a little more comfortable. “Let me slide these to the side.”
He muttered and Slid the fabric of your underwear to the side. Seeing your glistening and Needy cunt. “What a pretty pussy, my lady.” He admired every Part of your body. Even after insulting you. “I’m just gonna have to rip this off of you I swear.” He joked. But he Wasn’t shy at all. He Then Looked into your eyes. “May I?” He was too polite. But you could tell he was Raised that way Which led to that proper attitude.
“Fuck yes, you may.” He knelt down, knees on the floor and his face between your thighs. His breath fanning against your pussy.He then got an experimental lick of your cunt. Humming from the sweetness. “Holy shit, you taste amazing.” He said, “I need another taste, I haven’t ate so, count this as my dinner.” He immediately started to Devour you. His tongue swiping Up and down between your folds.
The explicit sounds of Him, slurping on your Sweet juices. Feasting on you. Both hands On your thighs, the tip of his nose Swiping up and down on your clit. Which stimulated You even more. “Fuck sunghoon.” You Moaned softly, tilting your head back and pursing your lips. “Don’t hold back gorgeous, let me hear how I’m making you feel.” He whispered against your Folds. Then Suckling on your folds. Pulling his head back with your folds in his mouth then letting go, moving his head Side to side, your clit Being Stimulated once more With his Nose and it felt so damn good.
“Fuck sunghoon.” You moaned out loud. Sunghoon Was Making you feel good. He was doing you good. “You like that, my Gorgeous woman?” You guys weren’t even dating and he’s already calling you such things? Oh that made you feel so wanted. He started to suck on your Clit, this tongue Swirling on the most Sensitive part of your clit. Who am I kidding? Every part of it was sensitive. You Sat up to take your Shirt, sliding it off and Tossing it onto his floor, you were wearing your Matching brassiere along with the underwear but the. Unclasped it. Your breasts jiggling from coming out of its confines.
You looked at sunghoon, between your thighs. Hands Running up and down your legs and Treating you like a real woman. He Glance up at you and he looked so fucking good from this angle. All in your folds and Cunt. you felt yourself getting close from the ticklish feeling in it. And You raised your hips a little on Impulse. “Oh fuck, Sunghoon. I’m close.” You announced to him, he nodded and Went back to eating your pussy out, he took on hand off your thigh and using his thumb to rub your clit. You Moaned From the double Stimulation and You Bit your lip. Then Feeling you Starting your orgasm you cried out loud and Moaned. Arching your back and Trying to push out the feeling.
You underestimated the push and Ended up Squirting all over sunghoons face. He was drenched in your Bodily Fluids, and Even his bed was covered with it. You Looked so embarrassed, covering your face. Though sunghoons reaction was priceless. “Holy shit, you squirted everywhere, y/n. But hey. Don’t cover that beautiful face of yours.. it’s natural.” He Comforted you. He then Got up from his knees, and Walked to his drawer and grabbing a Condom.
You noticed it was a large Sized condom and you were laying there. Thighs drenched and Still sensitive. “I’ll give you time for you to Desensitize. I know How It is for girls. Let me grab some Things Alright?” You nodded and Just laid on the Comfy and nice mattress. Sunghoon went to the Kitchen, going towards the cabinet and grabbing the coconut oil. He Walked back to the room. Closing the cabinet door. And setting the Coconut oil on the nightstand.
He placed the condom in his mouth. Trying to Get his pants off. Fiddling with his pants zipper and button. Before Successfully pulling them Off, along with his Boxer-briefs. He was like 7-8 inches, he Proceeded to Rip the condom wrapper off and grabbed it from the Packaging. rolling it onto his stiff cock. He Took his Shirt off. And finally took your underwear off throwing them onto his bedroom floor for like the 9th time. He then Crawled onto the bed and sat onto the bed, back against the headboard.
“Come ride me, y/n.” He Whispered loud enough for you to hear the seductive tone in his voice. You crawled your way over to him and Started straddling his Hips. “Hey, don’t get so impatient, I need to lubricate.” He chuckled at you. Grabbing the coconut oil and grabbing a generous amount, smearing some onto his cock. He Looked at you and smiled softly. “Don’t panic, let me help you.” He Guided your hips Down a little. Feeling his Tip of his cock-head pressing against your entrance you moaned a little bit, but it was more of a wince than a Moan. “Fuck.” You Winced. “It’s alright, I’m right here..” he comforted you and kissed your Cheek. He felt you sink down lower into him and finally sitting down on him. “Good job, see? I told you that you could. Do it.”
He then started to let you adjust to his size, though he wasn’t that big but it was better than any smaller Size. You started to move a little, wrapping your arms around his neck, circling your hips a little. You moaned softly. “Oh,fuck.” You cried out softly. Around 3 minutes later you started moving at your own pace, Moaning and Bouncing up and down on his Cock. Sunghoon was Moaning pretty softly. You could slightly hear him. He threw his head back. And bit his lip. “Oh fuck, y/n. Fuckk.” He was vocal while you were riding him, you might get noise complaints from the other college students in the dormitories but man, that didn’t matter right now.
“Oh my god, Sunghoon. I’m gonna fucking come again.” You warned him and He slapped your ass while you were still Bouncing on and off his cock. Your phone started ringing, and sunghoon had picked it up.
AARON // SUNGHOON
-‘y/n I’m sorry.” It was Aaron
-“y/n’s pretty busy.” Sunghoon said, still focused on you Riding his cock. He moaned a slight bit.
-“who the fuck is this?” Aaron was In his room, with Mara. And Mara was shocked hearing Sunghoon moan. She knew it was sunghoon since you,sunghoon, and Mara would talk sometimes.
-“this is sunghoon, Y/ns roomate?” Sunghoon glanced over at you and smiled. ‘Good girl, riding my cock good.’ He said. Aaron obviously hearing what Sunghoon said.
-“excuse me??.. are you fucking my girlfriend?” Aaron said over the line, just because I cheated doesn’t mean you should either. he thought.
-“hell yes I am. Let me show her off, bouncing off my Cock like the gorgeous girl she is.” Sunghoon turned the camera on. Showing you, riding on sunghoons dick. Moaning and whimpering, you were a damn mess. But you were still so pretty to sunghoon. “Isn’t she so pretty On my Cock Aaron?”
-“you fucking cheater!! You’re still mine.” Aaron Said furiously until Sunghoon cut him off.
-“no she’s not, I’m the first one in her Pussy, aren’t I? You didn’t Even Bother To kiss your own girl Aaron. Besides, she wants me, is that Right?” You were whining and Moaning then saying “yes I’m fucking yours.” He chuckled and Asked you a question. “Who’s is it?” You Were Concentrating on riding him, then saying. “This pussy’s yours, sunghoon.” You cried out loud.
-“…”
- phone call has ended. -
“He ended the call, Y/n.” Sunghoon finally said. Kneading your breasts in his hands. “You’re mine, right?” You nodded at his question and You quietly said. “I’m gonna come.” He chuckled and smiled. “I’m almost there.” You Were desperate for release so you began to Move on him faster. That caught sunghoon of guard. Then he moaned out loud. “Fuckk y/n.” He twitched inside of you “fuck I’m cumming.” He said. Before finally bucking his hips into you. Hitting your G-spot on accident making you climax as well. “Fuck! Oh shit.” You twitched in his arms.
Crying out loud and panting. Collapsing in his arms. “I’m here, y/n..” he kissed your cheek and pulled out gently. Placing you onto the bed. And the got up to dispose of the used condom. Rolling it off of him and throwing it in the trash. You guys laid In bed for a little. Sunghoon giving your back and thighs a massage. “Isn’t that alright?” You nodded and Laid in his arms. He kissed you and whispered some words In your ears. “You did so good.. get some beauty sleep. I’ll clean this up tomorrow.
#scenario#sunghoon#enhypen#smut#kpop#park sunghoon#sung hoon#enhypen smut#enhypen fanfiction#enha x reader#enhypen x reader
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magnolia.
pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: established relationship, kinda fluffy, kinda angsty idek, hurt/comfort; unedited and self-indulgent as hell !! word count: 0.4k listen to 🎧: hold my girl - george ezra
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation › masterlist › ko-fi
sometimes, it's crazy just how in tune minho is with you, how he can sense that something's wrong before you even have to say it.
he knows all of your signs - smiles that don't quite reach your eyes; soft, barely audible sighs instead of frustrated ones like when you're angry; talking about insignificant things throughout dinner with a distinct lack of energy just for the sake of holding a conversation and not letting your home fall into a state of depressing silence. an overall aloofness that can't simply be blamed on exhaustion.
when you're upset, you shut down.
minho doesn't need you to justify your defense mechanism, doesn't try to coax you out of your shell because he's the same way. when something is eating away at him, he detaches himself from the world too.
in those instances, the last thing he wants is for someone else to offer unhelpful advice when no one but him knows what's going through his mind.
there are some things that you just have to process on your own, some motions you have go through by yourself.
minho can only be by your side while you deal with your inner turmoil. hold your hand and give you a shoulder to lean on, whatever you need until you're ready to come back to him again.
that's what he does this time too. he doesn't ask you any questions; he just puts on the kettle and lights your favorite vanilla and magnolia scented candle. makes you a steaming mug of tea and peels some oranges, arranging the slices neatly on a plate afterward. then he sits on the couch next to you, a random movie playing on the tv that no one's really watching.
at some point, you move closer to tuck yourself under his arm. minho instantly pulls you to rest against his body, a hand on your shoulder giving you comforting squeezes over your sweatshirt.
just the two of you, the willingness to be there for the other especially when it's hard, and the occasional meows reverberating from somewhere nearby.
when he thinks you might've fallen asleep just like that, you start sniffling. the ache that minho feels in his chest is almost immediate.
even then, all he says is, "i'm here."
you meekly nod in acknowledgment as you continue to cry, painful sobs making you fist the material of his shirt in your hands.
he knows that you'll talk when you want to, when you're ready. he gets that in this moment, you just don't have the capacity to articulate your thoughts and explain your feelings in a way that other people could understand.
so he simply presses a kiss to your forehead and hugs you a little closer. he sits with you until it passes. he loves you enough to wait for you, to hold you through all of the lowest lows.
"i'm here. i love you. i'm right here."
permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts @stayceebs97 @linocz @yaorzu-blog @biribarabiribbaem @kayleefriedchicken @extrhotjne @caitxx1 @palindrome969 @todorokiskitten @azuna-sz @meanergreener @nxzz1skz @jazziwritesthings (italicized = can't tag)
all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 28.01.2024]
#stray kids fic#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz fic#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz x you#lee know fluff#lee know angst#lee know scenarios#lee know x reader#lee know imagines#lee know x you#lee minho x reader#lee minho x you#stray kids#lee know#lee minho
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could you give more hcs or a drabble about bakugou with a crush on reader!! pls i feel like ur fics are the closest ive seen to canon... i need more
No problem, and thanks! I try to make them seem canon, but sometimes it's difficult T-T. Just realising now that a few of these sound stalker-y and I'm sorta regretting writing this but oh well. I hope this is satisfactory!! c/w; social media au, buzzfeed, eminem (idek), karaoke, not proof read
!Katsuki who unintentionally catches himself playing with his hair while talking to you. Not in an obvious way (that's what he thinks at least), but more so absentmindedly fiddling with his side burns and such. It's kinda funny when he accidentally curls them and leaves them like that for a while. He also has a habit of playing with his baby hairs on the back of his neck.
!Katsuki who "accidentally" managed to copy your handwriting style down stroke for stroke? He doesn't really know how it happened, to be honest. He just noticed it one day during a group project after Jirou pointed it out to the two of you. You found it funny, but he found it outrageous and claimed that you had been the one to copy his handwriting.
!Katsuki who allowed you to tag along on one of Kirishima's and his study sessions. He beat the shit out of Eijirou and was gentle with you, more or less. He wouldn't hit you of course, but he certainly wasn't scared to yell. At least the first time. The look you gave him made him writhe with guilt, so he shut the fuck up out of embarrassment.
!Katsuki who heard you talking about a band you loved and decided it was his god given right to go through their whole discography and criticise it in his own time. But turns out, you have good taste, so he keeps to himself about it. "Accidentally" bought a spare ticket to their next concert and offered the spot to you. No big deal, right?
!Katsuki who did extensive searching for your socials, scrolling through his friends friends following, mutuals, and genuinely just word of mouth. When he did find your accounts, he stalked the SHIT out of them. When you requested to follow him, he freaked out and accepted straight away. He didn't follow you back until a week later, "just to be safe".
!Katsuki who unironically took one of those "Do I have a crush on my friend?" quizzes when he started to feel things towards you. 100% went down a rabbit hole on buzzfeed. He wanted to call his "crush" ANYTHING other than what it was. Mentioned it to Kirishima once and was left even ore confused than what he had originally been.
Unrelated but he just looks like he would listen to Eminem. Probably gets a good chuckle out of the whole "You gonna cancel me, yeah? Gen Z me brah?!" thing. Don't ask me to explain why I think this, it just makes sense.
!Katsuki who more often than not is watching you out of the corner of his eye. Not in an overly-creepy way, he's just "aware of his surroundings". He says that to anyone that mentions it, which is literally just his paranoia.
!Katsuki who secretly loved the fact that you hung out with him and his friends almost daily. Because then he wouldn't have to initiate hangouts and look as desperate as he really was. It gave him a plausible excuse to absorb every single opinion you uttered. It gave him an excuse to get even closer to you.
!Katsuki who freaked the FUCK out when everyone (besides the two of you) got sick and couldn't do the bi-weekly hangout everyone had played a part in organising. The group had settled on doing karaoke, so you can imagine how it went down with just the two of you there. Although, the two of you did make an amazing duet. (No one was really sick, Mina just mentioned Katsuki's behaviour and put 2 and 2 together. She also wanted to see if he would take initiative for once.)
!Katsuki who went out of his way to make changes to his hero costume that he knew you would like. Small details here and there, for both style and practicality. While it was cold he would use the neck warmer to hide the smirk that creeped onto his face when he saw you checking out his new look. He also started to make himself look nicer in general, indulging in a bit of jewellery (stud earrings, a ring or two, and a silver necklace), nicer shoes, wearing the uniform properly and such.
!Katsuki who has your number pinned in his contacts, as well as giving you your own message & ring tone sound. He has everyone but you, Kirishima, and his parents on silenced. He also has your contact saved as a nickname he assigned you without you knowing with a heart emoji. It's simple, but endearing.
#mha#bnha#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugou#bakugou x you#bnha bakugou#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#throwawayhero#headcanons#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#dynamight
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