#idc if this is cringe/annoying/messy or anything bc i am lowkey satisfied

[yuexias]

i was typing up siyue's name for something earlier and the auto suggestion gave me 李思月 (also pronounced li siyue) instead and it got me thinking about how that was originally the characters of her name before she went ahead and changed it on her own to 李肆月. the previous one would mean 'li thinks/misses (about) yue' in this context and this is entirely because siyue's mother's thing is that she absolutely adores the moon (yue) and it's kinda the symbol (?) people associate with her, and also since li yao's real name 李旭尧 had a sun in it so when siyue was born, she named her 思月 as in she wants that man to think about their daughter instead of li yao. and the reason behind this is that li yao's mother was siyue's father's best friend and first love, both of them went waaay back before siyue's mother came into the picture and they literally only got married because she got pregnant with siyue that time. so in a way, for her the kids are and should just be competition to each other, like how she and li yao's mother would be even though that woman was dead, so the entire sun vs moon thing here. and then as siyue grew older, she just changed it to 肆 (si) because she just thought her name was pathetic considering how her father almost never spared her mother a glance, not unless he absolutely had to. and the character 肆 as in 肆意 (si yi) means willful, reckless here, which is how she aspires her life to be in general, and not under the influence or control of everyone.

she also has a pseudonym 林见月 (lin jianyue) and it isn't super deep, just that it sounds nice to her and also 见 means 'to see' and 月 means 'moon' obviously, and while 林 is a family surname, it also means 'forest, woods' and thus putting everything together it would literally mean: to see the moon in woods or how she would put it in this context: the moon as the only thing you see in the woods. this just fits in so nicely with her character as how she's nothing but absolutely obsessed with being the center of attention no matter where she goes. not to mention if you ask her, she would also insist that if you look up at the night sky, it's always the moon that you look for first.

as i've mentioned before, she also has a reincarnation verse right, and chu qing 楚清 is one of her past lives. and i think she also went by 林见月 at some point bc i gotta say that name is also kinda poetic sounding, and she is obviously always in some sort of trouble hence a new name is needed, and so here comes 林见月. but honestly this is just a little easter egg?? kinda thing that i put it to humor myself in a little reincarnation verse.

that said, if anyone calls her 清儿 (qing-er) tenderly she would cry bc that's how her mother used to call her. but she also refers to herself as 清儿 when she speaks to others, kinda green tea vibes but well ;/