#id.kim doyeon

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON NEON’S LEAD RAP, LEAD VOCAL CHOI JAEIN...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 22 DEBUT AGE: N/A TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 19 COMPANY: Midas SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): JJ (jaejae); which is a simple play on her birth name. Various other affectionate varieties exist (jiji, nini, so on) MongJae; or “blank jae” for her expressionless face at rest. INSPIRATION: Jaein was, naturally, inspired by her older brother who debuted some years ago in the music industry. Her secondary inspiration is cited as being label mates Olympus and Titanium, as she found their engaging concepts and powerful choreography compelling. She rarely cites female idols as inspiration sources, though she is known to be a fan of BoA. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Cheerleading / she was a competitive cheerleader for a short time in high school, and has been instructed to keep a repertoire of her flashiest, most flexible, and more television spot friendly moves on deck in case they need to break them out.

Rap imitations / while she isn’t the best rapper to ever come onto the scene, she’s adept at humorously imitating the flow and style of hip hop artists the world over- from Eminem to Epik High. This perhaps stems from her complete lack of fear regarding appearing foolish.

Belly dancing / what began as an offhand fitness interest has become her latest variety primed talent, likely picked up on by management due to the fact she looks nice in crop tops and will inevitably be wearing a number of them.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Her older brother is an idol in another company, a fact she’ll be more than happy to bring up as much as necessary to ensure search rankings and fluff pieces.

She was (briefly) a competitive cheerleader in middle and early high school. She wasn’t particularly enamored with it, but it’s a fun fact for variety. She’s known for being quite athletic and graceful, able to pick up dances and sports/games well enough.

She often chose boy group songs to cover or perform for evaluations. She auditioned with Olympus’ Bad. She says her favorite songs are restrained, powerful, and alluring. As a result, she can do many, many boy group dances upon request. 

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

jaein is here for the fame, along for the ride. she wants to debut, first and foremost, and to continue her budding modeling career. she has little interest in the trite cf deals the company throws her way but acknowledges one must regrettably start at the bottom, aside from the attention and income (and as a result certainly wouldn’t mind doing more) but finds the photo shoots quite appealing. her hope is to debut to glorious fanfare with a song that provides her a chance to look and feel amazing. she wants powerful choreography, a strong rap section, and a line distribution that gives her a decent amount to work with, or at the very least a lot of mv screen time. she’s here to play the game and get established, whatever that takes.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

jaein’s longterm goals are difficult to pin down. what does she really want? how can she know what her goals are, at all of twenty two, fresh faced and foolish? a long running career for neon is first on the list. she’d like to at least keep the power of the group going until their contracts are up. they can disband then, as long as her modelling and commercial careers are stable enough that she can keep her income generated. in a dream world she’d put out a solo someday, something restrained, powerful, poignant, and alluring. she’d establish herself as a versatile performer (she’s got no illusions about her singular prowess in any one arena) and would eventually tour the world. debuting in japan would be nice, an international career, the world at her feet- you know the deal.

IDOL IMAGE

“people do not see you, / they invent you and accuse you.”

this is the curse, perhaps, of all beautiful women in an industry like this. imagine the girl you’ve always wanted to be. effortlessly chic, delightfully cool, and generally rather compelling. it’s an easy gig for jaein to pull off, by virtue only of her appearance, in truth. thanks to that, she’s got a leg up on the whole “chic vibes” thing. they begin with her right away, teaching her to position herself, to pose, how to properly compose herself in front of the cameras. it’s not a wholly unfamiliar art to any young girl prone to taking instagram ready aesthetic pictures, but there’ s a finer art to it that she enjoys picking up, being given the chance to perfect.

choi jaein is easily assigned to a dance role, given the fact that her dance lines, when aided by long and slender limbs, appear both powerful and graceful and in truth this is something she’s been working toward tirelessly for some time now. it is thus, once more, unsurprising that the company would instruct her to lean on that, to emphasize her athleticism and her grace, in particular in those ways which would contribute to a somewhat sensual and powerful image. she’s not sure how her very distant past in cheerleading helps with that, but if they want her tumbling she’ll tumble. she knows the way the world works now- what midas demands she’ll cheerfully do, at least in appearance.

it’s the only way to ensure anything. jaein is no stranger to playing along as others construct images of her based solely on her appearance. jaein must be a bitch, jaein must be a slut, look at how much makeup she’s wearing, did you see how short her skirt is, and so forth. she’s tired of those petty things, of the nonsense of competition. this is not to say that she herself is not competitive, but is more specifically to insinuate she just doesn’t feel that threatened by people who project their own insecurities onto her, as she sees it.

“look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under’t”

beneath the veneer of snake pretending to be flower is yet a greater surprise, however. she’s a soft thing, at her core, with a sensitive and passionate spirit that are difficult to overlook, easily bruised and inflamed, a fire easily stoked and quickly waning. she flickers candle-like, a hypnotic dance that hints at some greater danger. she is the temptress and as much as that, she is the tempted. there is power, grace, and a charming softness, a lightness of spirit, a levity that breaks the veneer of chic and unstoppable.

they push her into modelling and she complies. they assign her a role to take in some upcoming teen drama and she complies, finds the prospect of leaning on a character not too dissimilar from herself in the initial state of restrained and serious and slightly bitchy demeanor (though she could give a shit about the purely subjective merits of one musical genre or another) and a lightening of spirit and greater levity (that of course must come about due to love, or something, which is an unfortunate crutch but she expects next to nothing from these kind of productions regardless).

jaein is important to the company simply because she rarely says no. she knows, in all honesty, that to do so is patently stupid, and that is is much more preferable to save up her bargaining power for farther down the line, and that the “dark history” engagements she embarks on as a trainee will be easily forgiven and forgotten as time progresses. she wants to establish herself as a powerful figure in the industry, to eventually grow her image from that of the chic and graceful and tempting to something that holds a little more power. like certain famed soloists she’s interested in pursuing a performance and musical style that tell a story, pushing a concept of power and restraint as much as elegance and sensuality.

IDOL HISTORY

choi jaein is born on a pleasant enough day. there is nothing remarkable about the affair- no deaths, no suffering, no ill fortune. just an aggressively average family in an aggressively average apartment. but there is one rather important distinction that set the choi family apart.

good genes.

it’s the sort of thing you really can’t control. but choi jaein is born beautiful on the heels of an older brother who stuns with his looks- although his unruly, frizzy hair detracts slightly from the appeal. but he can’t sit still, and jaein is right behind him, silky hair pulled into pigtails and little frocks and frills dirtied with mud or rain or the grime of city life.

her brother has dreams. they grow big inside them, he wants things. he’s good, too. hapkido, soccer, track, whatever he tries out he picks up easily. as she enters school, her parents fawn over her brother and his many promising moments. they adore him. he’s handsome already, engaging. they love her too, of course, but her brother? he has promise. he’ll take on the family practice. he’ll be something.

so what will jaein do?

of course they expect her to succeed. jaein is pretty and sweet and well mannered, as a child, and this is a double edged sword. they’re not worried about jaein. she doesn’t act up, act out. she studies well and plays nicely with her friends (all of whom want to come over to jaein’s house in the hopes of seeing her older brother when he gets home from hagwons or hapkido). instead they see her mother’s tense smiles as her brother veers further and further off track.

by the time jaein is old enough to realize what her parents have put on her brother, the crushing weight of expectations and the misery of a lack of understanding, it’s too late for jaein to rebel at all. she takes stock of her life when her brother leaves to study abroad, looks around at hours of ballet, at vocal lessons, at chinese lessons, at hours of supplementary math classes, at hours spent learning piano, hours bent over books in hagwons that stay open far too late, classes that trail into the late evening, leave her clutching her books tight as she walks home alone.

like her brother she’s athletic, picks up on things quickly. muscle memory adapts and affects with flourish and flair. she ends up on a dance team in high school, cheerleading, because her mother says it would suit her, as long as she keeps her grades up. and she does. because jaein always does as is expected of her, without thought or question.

she doesn’t realize, perhaps, that questioning the will of her parents is even an option.

until her brother does.

he breaks away from expectations suddenly, severely, spectacularly. the next thing she knows he’s signing with a company, he’s becoming an idol. he’s becoming famous. she can find him on pann if she searches his name- for a long time it’s just comments about how attractive she is, and she boosts him with all the up votes her little heart can manage, because in this action he’s shown her what freedom could look like.

the fire in her starts when she realizes there is the option to be more.

there’s a certain image that appeals to her. something powerful and sultry, restrained and stunning. when olympus and titanium begin to work in that wheelhouse, toeing the line of frightening and furious and fervent, she’s hooked. she goes to midas. she auditions, sings her little heart out, dances the best she can, and okay maybe her face, her brother, her height, have a lot to do with it.

she’s not a stranger to that. resting bitch face and an objectively fairly attractive appearance have been in equal parts hindrance and help to her, rumors spreading secretly and stealthily, snaking through her high school, petty words on the lips of petty girls and hungry boys and she tells herself it doesn’t matter, holds her head high against it. when midas picks her up as a trainee in her last year of school and the word somehow gets out, it gets worse. by that point, her parents have all but given up on the whole family. not just one failure, but two? what’s the point anymore?

training is grueling. it’s brutal, it bears down on her with force and fury. but jaein? she has her parents to thank for the fact that she is excellent at working without question. she keeps her head down, she does her training and then some. they tell a group of trainees to start rapping and some of the girls protest- they don’t want to rap, they want to sing, they complain behind closed doors where they think it’s safe. but jaein knows better. years with her parents have taught her that in the end, what she wants doesn’t matter. it’s what she can do that will talk. if she makes herself valuable, that will do everything for her.

so she learns to rap. she practices her singing. she takes her modest dance background and learns to make it shine- charismatic and effective. she’s not the strongest dancer but she learns to be alluring, captivating, to pour strength and fire into her performance. it’s exhausting. it’s horrible. rumors swirl that she’s here because of her face, because of her connections. that she slept with one of the trainers, that she’s dating someone in olympus, or titanium, or whatever. that she’s just here to cause trouble, to make mischief.

she’s used to that. to the petty things that slip and slink. she becomes cruel in turn, sly smiles and wry smirks as a defense, at first, but she grows to find power in this girl that they’ve created of her. they don’t want choi jaein in the bookworm who never questioned the rules, a paper doll girl with no substance to her. they want her to be sultry, slutty, secretive and sly. and that choi jaein? she sounds a lot more interesting, honestly. and jaein doesn’t know who she is anyway. so why not? why not be brutal, why not be stunning, why not be these sensational and terrible things they accuse her of? she’s going to be playing to an audience for a long time, she might as well get used to it now.

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON DAYDREAM’S MAIN DANCER SOL…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 20 DEBUT AGE: 18 SKILL POINTS: 07 VOCAL | 11 DANCE | 03 RAP | 09 PERFORMANCE

INTERVIEW

since her debut in 2016, sol has been branded as daydream’s happiest and brightest member, hence her stage name. she’s one of, if not, the most excitable member of her group, is always trying to lift the overall mood of the group, and probably does the most skinship out of all of the members. many do not expect for her to have such a bright personality because of her face gives off sensual and dark looks at times, but any fan or person that’s watched her before knows that she’s very sweet and friendly. this contrast also speaks to her versatility as a performer. sol can go from a sweet song like ‘liar liar’ to a more technical song of daydream’s, like 'closer’ with ease. she doesn’t get to use her sexier side much, but when she does, it blows all of the dreamers away. its no secret that her singing and rap skills both could use some work, but she makes up for these with her dance skills that she’s acquired over the past 7 years she’s been dancing. one cannot deny her improvement from when she started training and daydream debuted; a total of one year and eight months. sol is a very hard-worker and always strives for greatness and perfection, which got her a spot on daydream’s lineup in such a short amount of time. her variety skills are nothing to boast about and although she has a certain level of charisma, variety and cracking jokes aren’t her strongest point. still, she thinks going on these shows are always a fun experience. sol is in no way a 'reckless’ girl, despite what the rumors may or may not say. all of her peers and the dreamers both know that she’s a complete sweetheart. a ray of sunshine, if you will.

BIOGRAPHY

minseo’s mother used to always tell her a little phrase. whenever the small girl wanted to give up or felt like the walls were closing in on her. “if you aren’t successful, you aren’t trying hard enough.” in a dark and twisted way, that phrase pushed her towards better things, but not before it pushed her towards the worst.

overwhelm - to give too much of a thing to someone.

to any outsider, life was easier for minseo. both of her parents were successful doctors, her father in pediatrics and her mother as an obgyn, both respectively. they had a nice house, nice cars, nice clothes, all anyone saw was the glitz and glamour. what they all failed to see was the massive pressure and mental and verbal abuse minseo endured. she was expected to be the best. her parents were the best in their fields, so she needed to be perfect at anything she tried. math, science, history, korean, english, japanese, piano, dance. these were the things she needed to be good at. if she messed up at a recital or got a question wrong on a test, she was berated by her parents endlessly. “stupid bitch” “no good daughter” “i wish i had never had you” were just a few of her parent’s favorite sayings. after the yelling, she got the silent treatment. no communication at all. only the whispers of the couple when they went into their bedroom. her schoolwork overtook her life and she had no room for friends. minseo was alone in the world, with a crushing weight of anxiety on her chest. the only thing that brought her a lick of joy was dancing. minseo started with tap and ballet, and then added hip hop later. it became a way to channel out all of her emotions. that was before things got serious. what was once a dun hobby became a taxing job. she had nothing.

overwhelm - defeat completely.

minseo fell into a depression. she tried to find things that made her happy, but the weight on her chest only got heavier and heavier. by the time she was fourteen, she was completely numb. she floated through life without any thoughts or feelings. she started to sneak whiskey from her father’s cupboard and drink when she was home alone. to try and get out the hole of unhappiness, she auditioned for a company; midas media. she was fans of both olympus and galaxy, so when the company opened auditions, it seemed like the perfect choice.

she got in as a trainee and was ecstatic to be away from the activities of her life, but her depression only worsened. this was the lowest point of her life. the bullying from some fellow trainees and the beratement from the public, both saying that because she was “rich” she didn’t deserve to be there. when she debuted, she was made to feel guilty about being in the lineup. she wanted to quit all together, but she was in too deep.

content - in a state of peaceful happiness.

ever since daydream’s debut, she’s been talking to a professional over video chat about her problems. the only people that know about this are the members of daydream. she’s scared that if it came out that she’s battling depression, all of their careers would be ruined. the sunshine brand that minseo has is very tiring, but the fans seems to like it. she’s way happier now than she has ever been, even if she still has her problems.

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON 99 ENTERTAINMENT TRAINEE HYEJIN…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 15 SKILL POINTS: 04 VOCAL | 05 DANCE | 00 RAP | 06 PERFORMANCE

INTERVIEW

look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it .

                            for both management and trainers alike, joo hyejin is a darling sweetheart with only the purest intentions and dreams. she plays the part of a hopeful trainee well: tears often escaping her eyes in an effort to feign genuineness, stories spread ( by her, of course ) of her spending nights practicing her hardest in the practice rooms, her eyes constantly round with a false hopefulness to appease those in charge. frankly, she would do well as an actress. these people believe that she’s in it to achieve a childhood dream of hers. only few know that her true intentions have nothing to do with dreams and instead revolve around her own greed and vanity. she craves attention and the spotlight, for it has to be hers.

                            with a pampered background such as hers, it is without a doubt that hyejin has turned out to be fairly spoiled, shallow, and self-absorbed. thoughts of her own future and personal image have involved her being labelled as a ‘goddess-figure’ in her group, known for both her beauty and aura. her name will become known in the world of fashion and lifestyle, and she will appear often on beauty shows and will constantly be complimented by critics on her ‘effortless beauty’. she desires to embark on modeling campaigns after debut, whether it be becoming a spokesmodel for a high-end brand or simply appearing on different fashion magazine covers. her name will become a household name. there would maybe be a few compliments on her dancing and performing. because for hyejin, her own talent isn’t what actually matters, but the appearance which she holds on the outside does.

                            for her actual future girl-group concept, she could care less. cute or sexy, innocent or girl-crush, it doesn’t hold as much weight in her mind as does her hopes of a personal concept. however, based on recent routines given by trainers and compliments about them, she notices that she does extremely well in a girl-crush concept compared to others, especially given her charismatic trait and talent. she guesses that that might be her future group concept, it’s only a guess however. whatever it might end up being, she believes she will do well in it. after all, she has the habit and experience of playing the part.

BIOGRAPHY

I .

                            there wasn’t love. there wasn’t the first sparks of a crush or the feelings of a mutual affection, there was nothing. understandable, of course. it was an arranged marriage after all. joo seungjin, the heir to a small, yet million-dollar software company, wed the daughter of a business partner named kim jisook. although seungjin was apathetic to the whole business of their marriage, jisook was disgusted and angered by it, being a romantic herself. yet their parents pushed and the marriage went through, despite jisook’s protests against it.

                           out first comes a baby boy, strong and healthy, and already his future was planned out by his grandparents and father. the firstborn will inherit the company after his father, of course. two years later comes another, a baby girl now, although this time they have yet to decide what the future might hold for her. should they marry her off? should they add her to the company’s name? their decision was unknown for the time being, but in the meantime, they name her hyejin after her late grandmother.

II .

                           although seeming ‘useless’ in her father’s eyes, hyejin was raised with everything handed to her on a silver platter. whatever she wants, it’s given. whatever she desires, it’s granted. she’s pampered constantly with gifts and her wishes that it began to take effect on her personality. she became loud and demanding early on as a child, shallow and callous even as well. what defined her at the young age, however, was her massive, innate desire for attention. she craved it. and since her father wasn’t giving her as much as she wanted, she thought she ought to get it herself.

                           while her mother spent her days acting as both a housewife and a socialite, hyejin was bent on trying to find different ways to grant herself more attention. but after a long while of coming up with nothing, her young self resolved to ask others for help, her own mother for example. of course, little hyejin didn’t ask her ’ how do i get more attention? ’ directly but feigned an interest in specific extracurricular activities. the first thing that came to her mother’s mind was the idea of signing young hyejin up for beauty pageants. the suggestion satisfied the girl and so began her days as a beauty queen. however after five years and vast number of pageant competitions, hyejin only managed to win twice. and as fickle as her mind was, it was easy for her to simply give up and move on.

                           one of the two competitions that she won, however, had granted her the ability to become a children’s clothing model for a brand during the course of five months. this meant she would model some clothes and her pictures would be up for the label in stores for the time period. it was the tiniest amount of fame, but hyejin still no doubt relished in it. her father continued to fail to notice her success, but at this point, as hyejin neared her teenage years, she could care less about what he thought. her mind was only focused on herself at this point, no one else. she craved more fame and more attention, but this time from others besides her family.

                           during her time competing, hyejin also took dance lessons on the side. it was her ‘talent’ for the pageant and she would perform routines based off of hip-hop or jazz songs. from her lessons and routines, hyejin began to fall in love with the art and continued her private lessons even when she ended her time in the pageants. it was something that made her truly happy, besides the idea of achieving fame of course. with this in mind, hyejin began to shape her future around the two things she loved. and after some time in thought, she came up with a solution – she was going to become an idol.

III .

                           from the ages of twelve to fourteen, hyejin’s mother enrolled her in an after-school dance academy near the private school she attended. in addition, the woman also paid for weekend singing lessons from a friend who was a professional musical actress. for these two years, hyejin worked and got much better in both the areas of singing and dancing. she became both flexible and stable and she felt rather talented already. of course, she had the money to pay for it after all. by the age of fifteen, the young girl felt as ready as she ever would be to audition. so after finding the company that appealed to her the most, hyejin signed up for a private audition and took her shot at fame.

                           it was a success. and from the moment she signed the contract, it was official. joo hyejin was going to be a star.

                           during this time as well, she was of age to attend high school and seeing her options before her, she ended up choosing to apply at a performing arts school, specifically seoul’s school of performing arts ( sopa ). she gets in and from there, it adds on to her new, hectic trainee life.

IV .

                           three years have gone by and she is still a trainee. it’s not that she complains often, after all many idol have been trainees for even longer periods of time. but in hyejin’s case, she believes that she’s ready to debut. in her mind, she’s already talented and pretty enough to be able to begin her life in the public eye. all she has to do now is pass time and wait on her company. of course, she doesn’t display this impatience – she knows it would look bad for her. instead, she puts on an act for almost all the management in her company, an act involving tears, struggle, and pleas. she acts as a hopeful trainee who is starting to become hopeless as she grows older — is she really cut out to be an idol? did she make a mistake? she then proceeds to portray a doubtful mind, although in training she still continues to work her hardest and shows it to her trainers. as of yet, this act of hers has proven to grant no results. but she still persists.

                           becoming an idol is the biggest thing she’s ever prepared for and she is itching to finally achieve it. she wants the fame, the attention, she wants it all and she wants it fast. in the time since she’s been a trainee, she’s graduated high school – she’ll move onto korea national university of arts ( k-arts ), a university nearby where she was accepted to be a dance major. but while there’s changes like these, hyejin still desires a change on her road to stardom– she believes she’s ready.

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON DAYDREAM’S MAIN DANCE BAE EUNAH…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 20 DEBUT AGE: 18 SKILL POINTS: 05 VOCAL | 15 DANCE | 00 RAP | 10 PERFORMANCE

INTERVIEW

on the surface she’s a pretty girl with pretty words, not quite funny enough for variety, but not the right visuals for acting. she’s perfectly suited to being an idol, the type of girl who helps people down the stairs and blushes at attention, who’s charismatic on stage but innocent offstage, the epitome of ‘reverse charms’. she doesn’t talk to boys, never dated in her entire life, top of her class and speaks well.

but these qualities are calculated, carefully planned to perfect her image so that everyone says ‘it’s obvious that bae eunah is kind’.

she’s the first to suggest dangerous things, to break out of a shell that is her innocent flower persona ( only in private, because she has a career that hasn’t even started yet, and how awful would it be if it ended right now? ). she loves spotlight, wants something that she never had as a child, craves the attention and affection that others got but intenfold, because she always seems to be going that extra mile. it’s what happens when she has had a lifetime of compliments, but no real attention and this is the result of the monster that her parents made.

of course, she doesn’t think she’s a monster. she’s just ambitious.

she’s nice enough to people close to her, appreciates the relationships that she might have. but she’s quick to anger when people get in her way, because ambition is her highest and lowest quality, vanity her downfall, and it’s a system that works, considering her climb into the group.

BIOGRAPHY

girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, girl and boy get married, have a daughter and start a happily family.

she’s heard this story too many times, so many that she can make one up herself, copy and paste the formula over and over until it’s right. it’s pretty to the ears, unrealistic to the mind, but people never like to think about the second part. they really only care about the pretty, and she’s aware of that.

so she looks in some kind of disbelief when her parents tell her that it is, in fact, their story. there’s something missing, something not entirely right about the way the pieces fit together. but she’s taught not to question, to listen like a soldier, stand like she’s always been taught ( ‘straight, straighter’ ) as her father goes over rules that are repeated a million times. always the same ones, so she’s never longing for that sort of inner consistency.

and too early she realize it’s charms. either that or she realize her charms. it doesn’t matter, because it’s dangerous either way, but habits die hard when they’re taught early, lock onto a malleable mind, form it into a picture of projected grace and loyalty, then let it settle and harden until it doesn’t even need support to hold its shape.

and maybe she’s been a little spoiled growing up, starting from when she realized that the eye of the beholder never looked too deep, and charm is only half inherited, half learned, and she’s always been fast to pick up on things. a well-timed smile, a well placed word, just look at the other person and they’ll tell you everything they want to see.

there’s an understanding between eunah and the world, a sense of calculation that she didn’t expect, but would learn to thrive on. it infects her relationships, trickles into her life in ways that she didn’t mean. but it doesn’t matter — not when it’s rooted so deeply that she couldn’t pull it out even if you wanted to.

the middle of seoul is the perfect place to foster her personality, and whether fortunate or unfortunate this is where she learns what it means to be bae eunah. it means dance classes after school until midnight, middle school frame hunched over homework in the corner of the studio. it means she starst early and end late, it means she welcomes sore muscles and the term ‘boot camp’ hardly fazes her anymore.

it means she goes to audition after audition. she fails some, then she goes to more. she lets nothing stop her when she’s determined, and it’s perhaps because of this determination that she’s accepted. she expects no less when she know what her goal is.

and she’ll do anything to achieve what she wants, gritting her teeth and clenching her fists, eyes on the prize and never wavering from the end goal. they tell her to sing, and she asks when. they tell her to jump, and she says how high. for a chance in the spotlight, there’s nothing she won’t do, and she’ll get there even if she has to lie through her teeth and scrape her knees on the gravel that they place beneath you. her father’s voice echoes in her head, but his voice turns into her own. now it’s her that says to stand straight, she causes the suffering all on her own without anybody’s help.

she debuts and she almost thinks it’s over, that the day to day toils of practice and rehearsals, of sore throats and weak knees — she thinks it’s over now that you’re on stage?

think again.

the audience can drop her at any minute, provided that they even care about her to begin with, and it’s because of this that she spends your nights in the studios again. she wants those dance breaks, and no one else will even get a chance at them if she can help it. 

she’s the picture of innocence on stage, smile so saccharine it can give the audience a toothache if they look too close. but beyond that there’s so much more to the story, if only they knew. but they don’t look past it — they never do, and whatever rumors run around her are just that — rumors.

girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, girl and boy get married, have a daughter and start a happily family. daughter is singed at the edges, but no one notices when the rest of her is a shining, glimmering iridescence.