#id open my window a smidge except

[captainchokchok]

Why is it 35 degrees outside but freaking 75 degrees in my apartment?? I can't sleep in these conditions. Please seep into my apartment, cold air

[sammy-moo]

Never

Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam

Prompt: Day Sixteen, a song that’s a classic favorite

Words: 1,631

Warnings: Angst, emotional abuse, smidge of fluff due to caring Dean

A/N: I actually pulled from experience for this fic... A majority of it is true except the part of being the one to walk away. Emotional abuse is hard especially when it’s happened back to back. So if you’ve ever experienced it please get help if you need it or if you need someone to talk to I’m here. I understand. 

~Series Masterlist~

Those emerald green eyes surrounded by a sea of golden freckles that you never thought you’d see again were looking right at you. They were pulling you in as the calming feeling washed over.

His plump, pink lips spread into a smile as he walked over; his entire face lit up. Your name fell from them as he got closer- something you never thought you’d hear again.

As soon as he was in reaching distance his smile faltered a bit. He tried to hide it by quirking his brows up.

“How’ve you been?”

Answer him. You have to.

You smiled, looking deep into his shining eyes, “I’ve been better.”

Dean began to feel a weight building inside his heart. He could see the pain all over your face, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head, adding more to the weight. “I uh, I should just pay for this and get outta here.”

“Ba- Y/N, then can we at least catch up?”

You sighed gently, looking back into his eyes that you knew that could see right through you. “Dean, there’s not much to talk about. Honestly…”

Dean gulped thickly.

“Besides, we aren’t together anymore. You’re not supposed to be my knight. I don’t want to dump things onto you, you already have so much to deal with. I’d really not rather add to it.”

“Y/N, if you don’t--”

“I’m fine Dean.”

Dean caved, knowing there was no way to get you to open up, “Alright. I uh, I’ll see you around.”

You watched him walk towards the counter to pay and walk out. Your heart began to ache more than it already did as you went to the counter. You glanced out the door seeing Dean climb into the Impala.

Dean sighed as he shut the door, “She was in there Sam….”

“What happened?”

“Just said hi to her.”

Sam frowned, “Dude come on. Don’t bottle it up or bury it.”

“It’s nothing Sam,” Dean snapped. “She said hi. I asked how she was and that was it. So let’s just leave it at that.”

Sam scoffed, “No way. Because last time you bottled something up over her you almost got yourself killed! I don’t want to lose my brother so we are not doing this again.”

Dean’s jaw clenched as he started the car, “Drop it Sam.”

Sam opened his arms out as he spoke, “No Dean.” He then motioned to the window with his hand, “Whatever happened in there with her is bothering you. I’m not dropping it until you stop being stubborn and tell me!”

Dean huffed and put the car in drive, pulling out of the parking lot as you frowned to the car.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes!”

Dean gripped the wheel harder as he turned the signal and pulled onto the road, “Fine… Something is going on with her and she won’t tell me. I know, I know, we aren’t together anymore so I shouldn’t worry but damn it Sam I still fucking love her. And if her boyfriend did something to hurt her….”

“Let’s not leave town yet then. We can go check on her later if it’ll ease your mind.”

“No, I’m not checking on her again. If she finds out that I’ve checked on her as much as I have I might lose her all over again.”

Sam shook his head as he rolled his eyes, “Then I’ll text her. I’ll see if she opens up to me.”

“What? Sam, no.”

“I’m doing this Dean. Because if it was me you’d tell me that I’d need my head where it should be during the hunt. So I’m doing the same.” He quickly messaged you, hoping you would reply.

You shut the tank to your gas, climbing in and noticing your phone was lit up. You frowned as you opened the message from Sam. Sam was right, but how could you tell Dean what was going on without him getting mad? You knew that as soon as you tell him, he’s going to do something.

Chewing on your lip, you contemplated even telling Sam anything. So without telling him too much, you sent out your reply.

“Sent it,” Sam told Dean as his phone showed that it sent.

Dean ignored his brother and turned on the radio, driving. But once the message came onto Sam’s phone, he turned it down and glanced to his brother, “What’d she say?”

“She said there’s some problems going on that have been addressed, but he doesn’t seem to be fixing them,” he frowned.

“Problems? What kind of problems? What the hell does that mean!?”

“I don’t know Dean! She didn’t say!”

“Text her back and ask her!”

“Why don’t we just pull over and you do it? She’ll open up to you more than she will me! You know that!”

Dean groaned and pulled into the nearest parking lot, throwing the car into park and pulling out his phone. He went through his phone and clicked your name.

You were driving home, dancing and singing to your radio to help ease your mind when your phone began to ring; starling you from your moment of peace. You pulled it from it’s spot in your cup holder while you focused on the road, glancing to the ID and sighing. You gulped thickly, thumb hovering over the screen. You knew you either had to answer it and tell him, or ignore it and cause Dean to worry even more. With your better judgement you answered the call, turning down your radio as well.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, please tell me what is going on… He’s not hitting you is he?”

“No… God no, I’d leave him if that happened it’s just… There’s issues I’ve noticed and I’ve addressed them. He said he’d fix them and work on them but he hasn’t.”

“What issues?”

You let out a shaky sigh as you slowed at a light, “It’s probably nothing. I’m probably making it up and being stupid Dean.”

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you… Tell me please?”

“Alright…” You let out a deep breath as you drove again. “He’s not spending time with me… He works, plays video games, and spends time with me. He never makes time for me. And he doesn’t even go to bed at the same time as me anymore, and even when we do sleep in the bed at the same time he just seems so distant. He doesn’t even clean unless I ask him, and he’ll point out how he’d help if I asked…. And since I’ve moved away from any friends or family I had, I’ve been trying to make new ones. He doesn’t even seem to care that I feel like I have no one… I feel so all alone and when I do ask for time with him he usually just wants sex….” You turned onto the road that lead to your house, dread setting in. “And one day we had a disagreement Dean. I wasn’t in the best place mentally that day and it just flipped a switch. I left the house. I went outside in the middle of the night and I started hyperventilating. I haven’t ever had a serious panic attack like that before Dean…. And there’s been nights where I was crying in the bed and he never once checked on me. Hell, he was in the same room once and he checked after thirty minutes of me straight crying.” You pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, tears forming in your eyes. “I’ve locked myself in another room to sleep and he didn’t notice. When I had moments where I wanted to relapse so I just did something repetitively, he just asked what I was doing and said I shouldn’t do it. Nothing more, nothing less. And when he has checked on me while I was crying, he acted like I was a burden. He said it was okay and that I should stop crying, but it didn’t feel like he meant any sincerity to it. He would sigh and just hold me. I’d have to beg him to make sure it was going to be okay and even then, I felt he was put off. S- So maybe this is all in my head but I- I can’t do it anymore…. I feel worse than I did before I lived here.”

Dean gulped thickly as his eyes water, “Y/N…. Where are you right now?”

“I just got home….”

“Please, just stay there. We’re coming to get you. You need to get out of here and away from him. What’s going on isn’t okay. If you’ve talked to him and he hasn’t put any effort forth then it’s time to leave. How many times have you talked to him?”

“M- More than five times….”

Dean’s heart began to break from the weight. “God I feel like an idiot for letting you go…. I thought you’d find better. I thought it’d be best for you to be out of this life but god… I’m so sorry I was wrong. Please hang tight. I’ll be there soon.”

You didn’t get the chance to speak. Dean had hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket, quickly pulling out and speeding to your house.

Sam frowned, “Dean, what’s going on? What happened?”

Dean ignored his brother and got out once he arrived. You were sitting outside your car, leaning on it. Dean pulled you close and hugged you tightly in a bone crushing, yet comforting hug.

His hug was what you needed as he held onto you. You burying your face into him and he rubbed your back, kissing the top of your head.

“Pack some bags and tell that ass you’re done.”

Tagging:  @sleepywinchester, @hay-yo-its-jo, @timeforsmut, @goldenangelbloodcastiel, @because-imma-lady-assface, @growningupgeek, @abbessolute, @keelzy2, @wideawakeandwriting, @babypieandwhiskey, @wi-deangirl77, @ilsawasanacrobat, @impala-dreamer, @becs-bunker, @inlovewithbja, @squirrel--moose--giraffe–moose–giraffe, @petrovadixon, @theoutlinez, @samwinjarpad, @mistressofallthingsgeeky, @fonduegames, @flowers-your-way, @multifandoms99, @viviandarkbloomvd

[trauma-13]

A L L T H E Q U E S T I O N S :)

Your wish is my command!! 1: is there a boy/girl in your life? Yep! He's pretty great!2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? No. 3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” super troopers. 4: what’s something you really want right now? To be off tomorrow. 5: are you afraid of falling in love? Not im the least. 6: do you like the beach? I love it!! 7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Almost nightly i fall asleep on the couch with James sooo yes. 8: what’s the background on your cell? Lock screen is purple and teal sparkles, homescreen is floral. 9: name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine. ER bed at work. Moms guest bed. Uh...i dunno beyond that. 10: do you like your phone? Yeah i really do!! I have the note 8 and its awesome. 11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? For the most part, yep! 12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Alex. I used to have her number and then got a new phone and lost all my contacts. Moral of that, if you had my # text me cause i dont have yours anymore. Except @car-one-responding 13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Rotti.14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional. 15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Hmm.....both. 16: are you tired? Always. 17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? Im going to go with first in my favorites which is my gramma, so literally my entire existance. 18: are they a relative? Yep. 19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? No. 20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? 2 seconds ago. 21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Yep. 22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yep. 23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? I have a watch on my left wrist and a hairtie on my right. I dont usually wear bracelets. 24: is there a certain quote you live by? "Que sera sera" (whatever will be will be.) And this too shall pass. My mom always told me que sera sera, and grams always says the other. 25: what’s on your mind? I dont wanna work tomorrow 😣 26: do you have any tattoos? Bro i have like 13. 27: what is your favorite color? Pink, teal. 28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Uno momento. 29: who are you texting? Nobody currently. 30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yep! 31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Always. Trust your instict, kids. 32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Multiple! Love my guys. 33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? I would hope!34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah. 35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Id probably punch him. 36: were you single on valentines day? Negative ghost rider. 37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Smidge more than friends. 38: what do your friends call you? Lyn and Lyni are the common ones. 39: has anyone upset you in the last week? Yeah. 40: have you ever cried over a text? Yeah. 41: where’s your last bruise located? I dont currently have one but i had one a few days ago. 42: what is it from? From my dog. 43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Daily hah i need a vacation. 44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? Most likely my mother. 45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My teal chucks or my black and sparkly nikes. 46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No. Pony tail/messy bun is my go to! 47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? I doubt it. 48: do you make supper for your family? Dinner. But some times! 49: does your bedroom have a door? Yes. 50: top 3 web-pages? Prob tumblr, facebook and my school website. 51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? A few hah 52: does anything on your body hurt? Right now, no for once. 53: are goodbyes hard for you? They can be.54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably water. 55: how is your hair? Up in a pony tail. 56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Snooze my alarm. 57: do you think two people can last forever? Yes. 58: think back to january 2007, were you single? Uh, yes? 59: green or purple grapes? Purple. 60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? Probably tomorrow before work. 61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Disneyland. 62: when will be the next time you text someone? Tomorrow. 63: where will you be 5 hours from now? Asleepin! 64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Asleep!65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? Lets not go there. 66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? My best friend. 67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? Yes. 68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I was trying to figure out how to organize my ATI binder. I fell asleep instead hah 69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Who hasnt? 70: how many windows are open on your computer? Im on my phone. But firefox has 1 tab open. 71: how many fingers do you have? 10! 72: what is your ringtone? Thunderstruck-AC/DC 73: how old will you be in 5 months? 25! 74: where is your mum right now? I would guess at home in bed, but i dunno because that heathen ignored all my texts today. 75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? I was young and stupid and didnt know what love really was so i accepted less than i deserved and allowed him to control me and my life. 76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Yes! 77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Some of them, yep! 78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? Year 7? As in 7th grade? No. 79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? My step dad! 80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?ast night. 81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? Uno! 82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? In the last 3 seconds is more accurate hahah 83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Hes laying right next to me, so yes. 84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? My best friends. Theyre drunk too. We're all yelling. 85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? They wouldn't be my bf/gf. 86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? It was Black Panther and i called a lady a dumb bitch and got glared at sooo. 87: who was your last received call from? Random # 88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? No. 89: what is something you wish you had more of? Money. But no i wouldnt burn a butterfly or any other animal. 90: have you ever trusted someone too much? Ooooh yeah. 91: do you sleep with your window open? Sometimes! 92: do you get along with girls? Some of them. 93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No.94: does sex mean love? Oh no. 95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Nope. 96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Yes. 97: did you sleep alone this week? Just when i took a nap the other day. 98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? Yes, my boyfriend. 99: do you believe in love at first sight? Nope.100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? My boyfriend.