#id like you to know that not only did i get up at 11 pm to draw this

[smutoperator]

Call Me Jen

Huh Yunjin x Male Reader

Tags: A2M, anal creampie, anal whore, big dick worship, butt plug, cheating, dirty talk, escort, finger-fucking, fisting, gape, hotel room, pornstar experience, riding, squirting, sugar daddy, uncut cock

Word Count: 4992

Yunjin wasn't feeling well today. Her boyfriend had cheated on her. All that while she was in the middle of the latest Le Sserafim comeback performances. She needed someone to help her with her frustrations.

You, on the other hand, were just chilling until you received a text message.

"Can we have sex tonight?" Yunjin asked. "Aren't you dating?" you replied back. "Well, yeah, but my boyfriend is a cheating asshole," she replied. "You know what? The best way to forget a cheating asshole is to get fucked in the asshole," you replied. "Then, let's find a quiet place so you can fuck me in the asshole," she said.

You gave Yunjin the address of your favorite 5-star hotel. "Arrive by yourself; tell the front desk you'll be my companion. And don't forget to bring a fake ID not to raise suspicions from those media vultures," you told her. "I'll be there later at night," you said. 

"I need better assurances than just words after that asshole broke my heart," Yunjin said. "I'll give you the best assurance, money; if you want to have sex with me so bad, I'm gonna reward you like the high-end hooker that you are," you tell her as you give her a proof of deposit in her bank account. "Sure," she said.

Yunjin arrives at the empty room, playing with herself in a one-piece dress. She is feeling a little tired due to the recent comeback performances, but the spatious bed is perfect for her to get some rest and touch herself with no one bothering her. She plays with her tits, fingers her pussy, and last but not least, gapes her ass, preparing herself for a special night.

It's nearly 11 PM, and you have yet to arrive. Yunjin still waits. Either way, she's already got the money. She messages you showing her outfit for tonight, a pink lingerie with a shiny butt plug decorated with pink sapphires shoved in her asshole just to the side of her thong strip. "I'll be there in a couple minutes," you say.

You arrive at the room, finding Yunjin already in a primed position, her body bent over into her bed as you see her exposed fat ass before you even get to see her face. "Nice plug you got in there," you tell her.

"What is inside of it is even nicer," Yunjin says, teasing you the gape move she did during that Unforgiven choreography, placing her long nails right in her buttcheeks. Rumor has it she's got the best gape in the whole industry, so you wanted to test it. She keeps teasing you, finally showing her face as she bites her fingers, before bouncing her ass up in the air a few times, the feeling in the air akin to one of those raw porn scenes filmed in a very dark room.

Yunjin puts her ass further up as she puts her face in the bed, teasing you about her pussy, which you assume is as pink as the fabric she's wearing to cover it. She quickly answers that question to you, pulling her panties to the side and showing off her pussy.

"Ready for a pornstar experience, baby?" Yunjin asks. Using just her middle and index fingers, she puts them between the butt plug's notch, teasing you as she pushes it in and out of her asshole until she takes it completely off, only to push it back in again shortly after. She closes her eyes and winks her still small gape at you, giving you a smile when you come close to her face and then proceeding to lick the plug.

"My asshole is hella tasty," Yunjin says to you. "It'll be even tastier with my cock inside it," you say to her. "I can only hope," she replies.

Yunjin keeps teasing you, licking her plug. She turns around and takes her panties off, pleasing herself as her long nails hit her clit. Yunjin tastes herself, showing off her perfect dick-sucking lips.

"Let me see that pussy," you say, taking your clothes off, kissing Yunjin, and replacing her hands into her cunt. The good massage you give it makes Yunjin's pussy throb and pulsate, anticipating your cock in there.

"Ohhhhh, fuckkkkk," Yunjin softly whispers as you insert a pair of fingers in her cunt. "You wanna fill every inch of my pussy and my asshole?" she asks. You let your fingers answer the question for yourself, pushing them deeper in Yunjin's pussy. "Oh yes, baby, FUCKKKKKKKk," she moans, her legs trembling as she adds an extra pressure fingering her clit while you finger-fuck her cunt.

"Wanna be my little prostitute tonight? Ride that cock like a pornstar?" you ask her. "YES, BABY, I WANNA BE YOUR LITTLE WHORE, YOUR LITTLE FUCKING PROSTITUTE; I LOVE BEING A WHORE," Yunjin screams. "I love having my holes used like fleshlight and pounded like a pornstar," she continues.

"How hard are you gonna use my asshole, baby?" Yunjin asks. "You'll know that soon, baby," you say to her. "But first, I need you to take all these clothes off and let me worship that pussy," you tell her.

Yunjin obliges as she pulls her bra to the side and shows you her perky tits. "Oh my God, yes, eat my pussy; get it ready for your cock; that's what I want, fuckkkkk," she says as you dive her face into her pink hole.

"Get it nice and wet; make my pussy feel good," Yunjin whispers as you work your tongue and finger simultaneously inside her pussy, getting your fingers wet. "You have that asshole stretched out already; put your fingers in there," Yunjin says, showing you her insatiable anal kink.

You put both your index and middle fingers on Yunjin's anus. "Oh my God," you say as Yunjin's butthole surprises you, acting as if it is like a cosmic black hole that sucks everything in its vicinity. If it was behaving like that just with your fingers, can you imagine when you put your cock in there? "Look how gaped it is already, holy shit," you say to her.

You give Yunjin's butthole a trial run as you pump your fingers in and out of it. Your cock is probably twice as large, and those fingers are already doing some nice damage. "Ohhhhhh, fuckkkkkk," Yunjin enjoys it.

"I can't wait to feel that cock in my asshole," Yunjin says as you keep poking it with your fingers. She gives you a massive smile as you toy with her butthole, making her let out a big scream. "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" as she starts squirting just with the anal stimulation you provide her.

"Taste it, taste it, taste it," Yunjin begs as you sniff her pussy. You then lie on the bed, your already massive erection pointing up and waiting for her to suck it. "I can't wait to use this cock," Yunjin says. "I wanna do whatever I want with this big fucking cock," she continues as she licks your shaft and you seize the opportunity to spank her sexy ass.

Yunjin gets on top of you as you two start performing a 69. You love how long her legs are and how they wrap around your face. She coats your shaft with her saliva and massages your balls before taking that microphone deep in her throat. "I'm gonna get it very wet," she says.

You can't resist and start thrusting upwards against Yunjin's slutty face. But she clearly wins this round. "Fuck," you scream, unable to beat her magic throat as she just dives it deeper into your shaft, jering it off in triumph. "YESSSSS!" she yells. More saliva covers your cock as you find out Yunjin is truly a nasty spitter.

"That uncut cock is going to feel so good deep in my asshole," Yunjin says as she sucks it further and slaps it in her face, her tongue sticking out in glee. You try to push her head further down your shaft, but once again she takes it like a champion.

"Let me look at that pretty face sucking my big fat cock," you tell Yunjin, turning around in the bed, letting her kneel in front of your body to suck your cock. With you watching, she turns up a notch, bobbing her head even faster trying to prove herself for her sole audience.

"You're so hot working on that dick, don't fucking stop," you tell Yunjin, trying to fuck her face once again only to see her come out on top once more. You get up and start sucking her tits while she masturbates herself. "Enough, just get on top of that cock," you say to her.

"Right there," Yunjin says as your cock enters her pussy. "Oh my God, your cock is so fucking thick, it's twice the size of my asshole boyfriend," Yunjin says. "Such a giant fucking cock stretching my pussy open, that's what I want," she continues.

You wrap your arms around Yunjin's body and thrust upwards against her cunt, determined to destroy it. "YES, POUND THAT PUSSY, I WANT EVERY FUCKING INCH OF THAT COCK," she yells, leaning down as your bodies get closer and she gets her cunt stretched out.

"Take that cock, you fucking whore," you say to her. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Yunjin screams, but quickly regains control and starts twerking on that big dick. "SPANK MY ASS WHILE I RIDE THAT COCK," she demands, getting really loud as you hit her pale cheeks with your heavy hands.

"Fuck every fucking inch of my fucking pussy, yes, yes, yes," Yunjin drops tons of f-bombs as she bounces on your cock. "Go slow, you fucking slut, don't make me fucking cum yet," you have to ask her as Yunjin is very energetic riding your cock.

Yunjin slows down, switching to straighter and longer bounces. "That's right, you dirty fucking whore," you say to her. She then starts grinding. "You're so deep inside me, just stuff that whole dick in my pussy," she begs. "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM, FUCKKKKKK," she screams as her pussy juices drip down, her walls clenching harder when you tap her ass shortly after.

As Yunjin tastes herself from your cock, she's already thinking about her next move. "Fuck, I wanna feel this thick cock in my ass," she says. "Then come feel it," you say, getting her body sideways as you prepare to insert that huge prick in her anus at a spooning position.

"Show me that pink asshole," you tell her. "I need your cock in it, please," Yunjin begs. "Right there, right there," she repeats as you slide it in her butthole. "Tell me you want it," you say to her. "Yes, I want this fucking cock, please," she answers.

You thrust fast into Yunjin's asshole in spooning position as she puts her finger in her pussy. "Ohhhh yeahhhhh," she moans as she gives you a big smile. "Make me your little anal whore, yessss," she says as you keep pumping it. "Take it as deep as you can get it; I want every inch of it in my ass, every fucking inch," she begs.

"Stuff that thick cock right in my asshole," Yunjin demands as you stop thrusting and grab her tits while digging deeper and deeper into her anus. "Oh my God, make me take it, fuck," she says as you resume pounding it, trying to push all your nine inches inside it. "I want you to use me like the total whore I am," she says. 

"USE ME, DADDY, FUCK MY ASSHOLE," Yunjin screams as you increase the heat up her butt. "FUCK MY ASSHOLE, DADDY," she keeps screaming. "Shut your fucking mouth, you prostitute," you tell her, putting your hands over it.

But the last thing Yunjin wants is to stay quiet. "STRETCH THAT ASS, GAPE ME," she screams as soon as you start choking her and hammering her even harder. "This fucking ass is made to be fucked," she tells you.

You slow down and appreciate Yunjin's tight butthole. "You're so fucking good in my ass," she says, kissing you and switching up into more of a girlfriend experience. But quickly she goes back to being her usual whore self. "I don't want you to stop; I want you balls fucking deep in my ass," she says shortly after.

"Give me the whole thing, AHHHHH," Yunjin says before she puts her hands in her mouth and covers it. You manhandle her butthole hard while simultaneously finger-fucking her cunt and making juices rain out of her pussy.

"Stay there," Yunjin says, keeping your cock in her ass. She gets up and climbs on top of your body, sitting on your cock in reverse cowgirl and giving you a perfect view of her sexy ass. "Right there in my ass, daddy," she says, letting you grab her legs and thrust upwards into her butt.

"I love to feel every inch of it in my ass," Yunjin says as she starts riding your big dick. "I want to bounce up and down that cock with my ass until I die," she says. "My asshole is made for that big cock," she continues to talk while bouncing.

"FUCK IT, FUCK IT HARD, DADDY," Yunjin commands as you pound her hard up her butt. "POUND MY FUCKING ASSHOLE," she keeps saying as you now reach your hands to finger her pussy and make her eyes roll with so much pleasure. "FUCK ME AS HARD YOU CAN," she screams, challenging you to destroy her to the fullest.

"Don't make me cum yet, your fucking prostitute," you say, shoving Yunjin's body off of your cock as you nearly fill her ass already. You have been with her for just 15 minutes, but you paid for 30 and want to survive up to it. Yunjin slaps your cock in her face, very satisfied. "Looks like I'm a great fucking prostitute, aren't I, daddy?" she asks.

"My asshole tastes so fucking good in this cock," Yunjin says as she starts savoring your meat. "Stroke with that pretty mouth; you're so good sucking dick," you tell her as Yunjin takes your cock deeper in her throat. "How many fucking cocks have you used like that?" you ask her. "Not enough," Yunjin answers.

"So you like to cheat on your boyfriend before he even cheated on you? What a whore," you say to her face. "Yes, daddy, I can't help myself; I'm a true addict to cock in my ass," Yunjin replies to you.

"Don't worry, I'll give more of it, but first I need to stroke that dick in your naughty tongue," you tell her, jerking off as she licks the tip of your uncut cock every time it emerges out of your foreskin.

"Look what a fucking whore you are," you say to Yunjin. "Now, show me that asshole," you ask her. Yunjin turns around and spreads her cheeks for you to shove your cock back in it. "That pink butthole is so pretty," you tell her right before spitting on it and shutting it down with your massive cock.

"Damn, you're so tight, you fucking bitch," you tell her as you go back into manically thrusting up and down her ass. "Yes, daddy, I want to be one of your favorite fuckholes," you tell her. "It's gonna be a tough competition; I fucked a few of your groupmates, and I can tell they are quite big anal whores too," you tell her, bragging about your perfect nights with the other Le Sserafim girls.

You mount on top of Yunjin to properly use her. "Tell me how you want it," you say to her. "I WANT IT BALLS FUCKING DEEP," Yunjin screams as you stretch her butt out. "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, THAT BIG THICK COCK BALLS DEEP IN MY ASSHOLE, YESSSSS. BURY IT IN ME, DADDY, BURY THAT FUCKING DICK IN MY ASS, YOU'RE MAKING ME DROOL" she continues to yell as she fingers her pussy and starts coating the bedsheets with her squirt.

"HARDER, DADDY, PLEASE." Yunjin keeps begging, as the only thing preventing you from stuffing your balls up her butthole is the tightness of it. You give her no breaks and pound her hard, fast, and balls deep just as she asks.

"Show me that hole," you tell Yunjin as you pull out of her ass. She spreads her cheeks, showcasing the massive gape you left in her pink anus. "Open it for me," you order as Yunjin spreads her butthole out and shows off her pounded guts to you. "I love when you do it; let me put my fucking tongue in it," you tell her, licking her asshole.

"Oh fuck, daddy, your tongue feels so good in my asshole," Yunjin says to you as you also start to sniff her dirty butthole. You effortlessly put your cock back in it, as her asshole is already so stretched out it offers little resist to your shaft, pounding her now at a straight angle.

"Put that dick where it belongs," Yunjin says as you resume pounding her. Queefing sounds start to come out of her asshole as you put her on the verge of achieving an anal orgasm. You pound her ass, but her pussy lips are now also parting in half, letting all the fluids flow out of Yunjin's body as she gets anally destroyed.

Yunjin cums all over the besheets as you enjoy the pink gape in her anus right after pulling out. "Fuck, that's too pretty," you say it again. "You like this pretty asshole, daddy?" she asks. "Yes, it's so beautiful and swallows up my cock with such ease," you reply.

Yunjin is so horny she starts fisting her entire hand up her butthole. "Oh, fuck," she moans as each of her long fingers disappears one by one inside her anus. "Oh my god, you really want to stretch that ass to the fullest for me," you say as you watch Yunjin put her arm all the way up to her wrist inside her asshole, even fitting the pair of bracelets she's wearing all the way down it.

"That fucking asshole is made to take cocks," Yunjin flaunts about it as she keeps fisting herself and teasing you. Watching Yunjin squirt as she puts her arm up, her anus is so beautiful. "Don't stop, keep going," you motivate her. "I love that," you say just as Yunjin finishes it and leaves her hand up her mouth to enjoy more of the taste of her asshole.

Yunjin keeps teasing her anus for you, fisting it, winking it, and gaping it multiple times. "It's so fucking made for anal," she says while doing it, building up your desire to get back inside it. "All I want now is to be your anal whore, daddy," she adds.

You fulfill Yunjin's wish and, with no warning, shove your cock back in her asshole. "OH MY GOD, FUCKKKKK," she soon screams. "I'M SO ADDICTED TO YOUR COCK, IT'S LIKE A FUCKING DRUG," she keeps going as you treat her butthole like a jerkoff fleshlight.

"I love how you make me your personal fuckhole, daddy," Yunjin says as you increase the pace even further. "I'M YOUR FUCKHOLE, I'M YOUR FUCKHOLE, YES, YES, YES," she screams nonstop.

"Wanna sit on that dick?" you ask Yunjin after you're finished drilling her. "Of course," she says. "Then turn around and show me that ass; I want to see it getting impaled by my big fat cock," you tell her.

"Perfect," you say as Yunjin slides your cock up her butthole and starts twerking on it. You slap her cheeks, which she interprets as a code to go harder. "Fuck, I love this so much," you say as she starts spreading them out while bouncing on it.

"You want to cum in that tight little fucking asshole, don't you, daddy?" Yunjin asks as she picks up the pace. "Definitely," you tell her. "Look how I take this whole fucking thing in my ass; isn't it good, daddy?" She keeps asking, but you can only groan, trying to hold your composure not to cum as her butthole clenches all over that dick.

"You've got such a perfect asshole," you compliment Yunjin while giving her butt a couple extra slaps as she stays bouncing on your cock. "And you've got such a perfect way to fuck it, daddy," she responds. "Fuck my ass hard while I play with my pussy; make me squirt all over these bedsheets," she continues.

You thrust up Yunjin's butt once again, making her cheeks clap. "Come taste more of that asshole, baby," you say once you're finished. Yunjin slowly pulls your cock out, only to surprise you with an insane deepthroat that drives you crazy, then playing with your shaft and sucking it like a lollipop, spitting all over it like a good whore playing with her personal toy. 

"I love to stuff that cock down my pretty mouth the way you stuffed it up my ass," Yunjin says as she gets very sloppy with your prick, bobbing her head on it while grabbing your balls and making it throb. 

Yunjin uses the spit on your dick to lube it and sits on it shortly after, this time with her face turned to you. But better yet, her squirting cunt facing you and giving you easy access to finger it, hoping for a gush so intense that it hits your face.

You quickly show Yunjin who's in control and fuck her hard even with her tall body on top of yours. Her pussy slowly starts to get wetter, her tits bounce, and her eyes roll. "Yessssssss," she moans hard. "Your asshole is so good, still so fucking tight after all that gaping," you tell her. 

"OH, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CUM," Yunjin screams as she puts her hands in her cunt and starts fingering it. "FUCK, I'M CUMMING WITH THAT BIG COCK IN MY ASS, AHHHH," she says shortly after, rewarding you with a huge gush of her juice right as your face, just like you wanted it. "God, I love how you make me cum by fucking my asshole," Yunjin praises you shortly after.

Yunjin takes a little break to recover, riding your cock at a very slow pace. "Look at those slow and deep strokes all the way down my asshole; aren't they sexy, daddy?" she asks.

"They make you look like a prostitute, an anal whore," you tell her. "Hmmm, I love looking like an anal whore, daddy," Yunjin says, grinding on your cock just as you grab her neck and choke her. "Don't stop it; keep grinding, you fucking slut," you demand as you reach into her tits and pinch her nipples. Yunjin moans full of pleasure and then shares a few kisses with you. "Good girl, I'm gonna reward you for that," you say to her.

You put Yunjin in a missionary position in bed and push her long legs over her head, inserting your cock back in her ass for another round, pounding her balls deep on an anal mating press while she fingers herself. "Ohhhhh, fuckkkk," a submissive Yunjin moans. "You fuck my little asshole so fucking perfectly, daddy," she says.

"You're such a nasty, worthless whore," you degrade Yunjin while spanking and fucking her butt. "YES, I AM YOU ANAL WHORE, DADDY. THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE," Yunjin answers screaming.

"Then spread that hole for me to see it again; I bet your boyfriend can't gape it the way I do," you tell Yunjin. "Yes, daddy, only you gape me like that," she replies, winking her butthole and telling you she wants more.

You destroy Yunjin's ass much to her enjoyment. She loves it, playing with her gaping butthole again and stretching it wide. "Tell me how much you love your big fucking cock taking this beautiful pink asshole, daddy," she says. You tell her by flipping Yunjin around and appreciating her asshole with more tonguing and sniffing, just how she likes it, and making her cum once again all over the bedsheets.

"Taste my asshole after you fucked it; admire the work your big cock did on it," Yunjin says to you. "Damn, you got the most perfect butthole I've seen," you tell her. "You say that to every whore you fuck in the ass, don't you, daddy?" Yunjin giggles and pokes fun of you.

"Spread that hole; I ain't done fucking that ass," you tell her, pushing your cock back inside Yunjin at a prone bone position and pushing her body hard against the already very wet bedsheets. "Look at this hole; it's so fucking hot," you say as you plow Yunjin into oblivion, enjoying her sexy moans. You love stretching her out so much that you insert your fingers alongside your cock in her ass. "Hmmm, I love it, daddy, always wanted to have two in my ass at the same time," Yunjin says.

"How much can you take, you fucking whore?" you ask Yunjin as you shove your middle finger deeper in her anus. "As much as you want to, daddy, spread me open and fuck me harder; spread that slutty hole open; hit me right in that fucking asshole," she begs. You do just that, leaving your mark all over Yunjin's ass.

"Damn, it's so fucking perfect," you're all praising about Yunjin's butthole. You put her ass up and grab what is still left of Yunjin's lingerie to control her while you pound her ass, treating her like a toy.

"FUCK IT, DADDY, SHOW ME HOW THAT ASS IS BUILT TO TAKE BIG COCKS," Yunjin begs as you destroy her. That's who she is, a prostitute, an anal whore; the only difference between her and a pornstar is that she whores herself while the cameras are off, but fucking her is indeed a top-notch pornstar experience similar to some of the best anal queens.

"In and out, daddy, toy with my fucking butthole," Yunjin demands as you tease her with your cock going back and forth in and out of her anus. "Now gape me open, gape my fucking asshole," she begs once you thrust hard back in, using her to the fullest.

"Holy fuck," you get shocked at the size of the gap you imprinted on Yunjin as she spreads her cheeks open. You might be able to fit a tennis ball in there considering how wide it is.

But you aren't done, turning Yunjin around for another round as you want to gape her butthole even further. She fingers herself and asks to be split open and fucked hard. You do just as she asks, ramming her ass with all your intensity. "That's still not enough, you fucking whore?" you ask her, now choking Yunjin with both hands.

"NO DADDY, IT'S NOT ENOUGH, I WANT YOU TO POUND ME UNTIL YOU FUCKING FILL MY ASS WITH YOUR THICK CUM," Yunjin screams as she starts squirting once again with her fingers all over her cunt. "I'm gonna do that, but first I'm going to play a little more with you, whore," you say.

You stick your fingers up Yunjin's squirting cunt before moving them to fist her asshole. "Is that what you want, whore? A fucking gaped and fisted butthole?" you ask her. "YES, DADDY, THAT'S WHAT I WANT, EVEN BETTER IF IT'S FULL OF YOUR CUM," she says. 

"Cum in my asshole, cum in my fucking asshole; that's what I want; please, use this fucking asshole to cum," Yunjin says. "You wanna see this fucking asshole stretched wide open for you?" she asks, doing the fisting now.

"Put it right back in, daddy, show how much you want to use this fucking gaping asshole to cum," Yunjin moans. You jerk your cock off, teasing her. "Stoke that fucking cock and cum in my asshole; make it your little personal cumhole," Yunjin begs and moans as you slide it right back in it for one last round.

Just a couple thrusts are enough for you to fill Yunjin's butthole with your load. She loves it and fists her ass in search of that cum, scooping it with her hands and tasting it. "My asshole is so delicious," she tells you as your cum can't stop leaking from her anus. "Maybe I need to push it deeper," you say, inserting your cock for a little extra fucking. "Yes, daddy, fuck that cum all the way deep into my ass," Yunjin celebrates.

Epilogue

Yunjin puts her butt plug back in as she treasures your cum in her hole. "Fuck, I'm just so full of cum now," she says. "You're now my anal cumwhore, my sugar baby, Yunjin," you tell her. "Yes, daddy, that's what I am; by the way, you can call me Jen," she says.

"Hmmm, Jen and Michelle, that's a nice pair of sugar babies," you tell her.

"Michelle?" A confused Yunjin asks just as someone opens the door of the hotel room.

"Speaking of the devil," you say.

"Looks like you two had a lot of fun in there," Chaewon says. "Indeed we had; wanna go next, Michelle?" you ask her.

"We could do this together, couldn't we?" Chaewon asks. "Her ass is probably too sore for that, but she can use her mouth to help me fuck your ass," you tell Chaewon.

"Deal," the bob girl answers as she takes her clothes off, spreads her ass and you put your cock in there. The night has just gotten even more perfect.

"Let's see if you can be a bigger anal whore than me, Michelle," Yunjin challenges Chaewon as you dig deeper into the older girl's asshole.

"You know what? Let's call Kkura and Zuha too and settle this for good," Chaewon replies.

It looks like we're gonna have an anal whore competition here.

[thedevilrisen]

Hospital - 3

Nova Crosby -

11:46 pm

Luke sat in the blue hallway of the hospital, hands shaking as he picked at the buttered banana bread that the nurse suggested he purchase, he had to admit. It was very good. Sitting there in his own world of dismay, struggling to find his footing in the storm of uncertainties. Since he was sent down to the cafe, which closed half-an-hour ago no new information had arised.

Luke was still waiting for Sid near the entrance of the hospital, responding to his message with an 'I'll tell you when you get here.' Both men knew that that conversation would be better had face to face, with each other to lean on. A common theme between the two was a severe restlessness, understandability so when a loved one was in a precarious position.

Luke's gaze followed movement outside the glass entry doors to the hospital, when the motion sensor light triggered he identified the movement as Sidney and immediately jumped up to greet him. Luke pressed the green button for the door as it was past visiting hours which meant no one from the outside was allowed in.

When Sid walked through the glass doors, his eyes connecting with Luke's as the two let out a simultaneous breath of relief. While many would be worried for Nova there were probably only two who would match the incredulous level and right now they were standing and looking at each other in the hospital entrance tears beading the tops of their lashes in solitude.

"How you holding up, kid?" Sid rasped out, barely above a whisper. He had to admit, Luke looked like a mess, dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, his hair was tousled from running his hand through it countless times as he sat in the weight of the situation.

"I certainly could be better, I can tell you that much." Luke spoke sarcastically, Sid got the impression that Luke was very much akin to a wounded animal. Terrified and defensive, refusing help from others because that would make the situation worse. "Not as bad as you I'd imagine."

Sid nodded solemnly along with the whispered words, when he had first heard from Luke what was wrong with Nova he had consulted his medical dictionary to disclose what a brain aneurysm was and whether or not her was having one. Never in a million years or life times did he think he would be standing in the entrance of a hospital in which housed Nova in its sterile-lit depths.

"While she was first and foremost my darling little girl Luke, she's now your girl too. I've always know one way or another she'd become so infatuated with someone and I'd be handing her off at an alter eventually." Sid took a deep breath, eyes darting around as he tried to find the correct way to word his next statement, "I had just always prayed, that one day it would be the right person. I don't want to make any outrageous assumptions.. but if I didn't know any better Luke I'd say you are planning to be that person."

Luke finally felt his walls crumble, the strong front he held in the ambulance and in the emergency, when he took a picture with the server at the cafetiera. It all came crashing down. Tears spewed from Luke's eyes as he stumbled forward into Sidney's arms, wet gargled sobs entrenched the prior tranquility of the hospital lobby and turned it into a cacophony of suffering. The ensemble of incoherence continued to play as the ship sank, and Luke to his knees with Sidney in tow, his arms still cradling the distraught boy.

Sidney didn't try to quiet the boy, Luke needed to let out the emotion or he would explode. As his quaking shoulders softened to mear trembles and tears subsided Sid loosened his grip, letting Luke drag himself back into reality, allowing him to strengthen his frontier again for everything that was to come.

And come it did.

Unknown ID

Dear Family of Nova Crosby, two of her 3 schedules surgeries went to plan, we were unable to perform the third due to a complication in which she has been moved to the Intensive Care unit, located on level three, for close monitoring. Please find the Intensive Care waiting room located outside ward 3A where a nurse will come find you and bring you to visit.

[idkwhatever580]

Agatha All Along Commentary

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD

you’ve been warned

Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.

Started watching at 3:00 pm

I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia

Ooh fancy he’s Jewish

I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.

Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up

Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol

I wish I had parents that were proud of me

Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real

4:25

ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

She’s kinda hot guys. I have daddy issues but I’m a lesbian lmaoooo

5:14

WTFFFF I CANT DO THIS SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT SHES TOTALLY LYING TO HIM IN THIS

5:42

wtf does the tower reversed mean bitch

6:14

Hearing her say baby is so fucking hot I’m gonna nut everywhere

Oh lord guys I seriously have problems… but don’t say you weren’t thinking it too 😏

6:51

WTF IS THAT THING A PROTECTION SPELL OR WHAT?!?!

DID SHE PLACE THE SIGIL?!?!

Omg if she placed the sigil on him that would be insane

7:46

If y’all out there with the theories about Billy maximoff’s soul taking over Billy kaplan’s body im kms because that’s so valid

——id like to let y’all know that I know nothing about the marvel comics and I do not intend on learning or digging that deep kk? I also don’t know what Wiccan is but I guess it’s Billy maximoff? Not looking for someone to explain it tho lol——

IM SCARED J DONT WANNA SEE MY BABY

NO WANDA NO WANDA I DIDNT NEED TO HEAR HER VOICE

8:34

Holy shit.

8:39

Watching it disappear is so sad. Like I know she’s hurting and saving the rest of them

9:00

OH MY GOD THE PARENTS STAYED ALIVE I THOUGHT YALL SAID THEY ALL DIED OR LIKE TWO DEATHS

9:33

NO FUCKING WAY THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY TRUE

Y’all playing too hard

9:52

No fucking way. I’m actually so done right now. I’m so fucking done I need to scream at someone and it needs to be the fucking producer

10:15

That must be so fucking scary to go to “sleep” as Billy Maximoff and wake up in someone else’s body. Like in Disney shows when they switch and shit they have a moment where they look in the mirror and scream but this is def more realistic

Also I thought someone said there were two deaths. I don’t see no dead people up in this bitch

10:55

wtf is this?? inside out?

11:06

Noooohohohoooooo I forgot that Billy M can mind read and shit

12:33

That dog knows

Why is it always the dog that knows?

13:44

Having to call her mom must have sucked balls

15:22

Damn he already trying to fit the part bro. Moving on too damn fast

Him and his mom with the lying bro ✋🙄

Stop I sound like Agatha 😭

16:02

SHE DID PLACE THE SIGIL ON HIM WTFFFF

16:26

Okay I see you little emo gay kid having more piercings than me and having kissed more people than me and I’m older than you 🙄

17:26

Damn that’s crazy. He actually is telling this dude his shit

18:40

Damn that’s so fucking crazy his smile is creeping me out bro

Also I totally knew little Billy M was meant to be a little gay baby

19:24

Damnit all of these hoes have connection with him. Of some kind

19:57

You found a guy on Reddit. And you’re meeting him? That sounds like you’re getting killed.

OMG WHO IS IT TELL ME WHO IT IS

ITS RALPH NO ITS RALPH POOR RANDALL SORRY RANDALL ITS JUST WE KNOW YOU AS RALPH

21:06

Damn he went kinda crazy from being with Agatha all that time huh? That means the only one that can handle her is rioooooo

21:42

Don’t take my wife’s name in vain hoe

lol I’m kidding

I also apparently have multiple wives

Lmaoooo please ask about Agatha harkness

24:06

YOU FUCKING MURDERED SPARKY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS I DONT CARE IF SHE MADE YOU DO THAT SHIT I HATE YOU

24:19

Omg I can’t do this shit

Does this mean that Tommy is also in someone’s body?

25:27

I seriously do wanna know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. And I hope it’s me 😏

26:24

Yeaaaahhhh this song eats me up.

27:20

HOHOHOHHHHH THAT PICTURE IS THE IMAGE OF A FA- a gay woman. A gay witchy woman…. 👀

27:36

OH YEAH THEY BROUGHT MY GIRL DOLLY INTO IT

DOLLY PARTON FOR PRESIDENT 2024

Ahem… excuse my political views ✋😭

28:20

Omg omg omg he’s going on the road to find Tommy I’m gonna cryyyyy

29:43

Oh he’s so emo with his eyeliner and his black heart boyfriend and his belt chain and his witchy witchyness

…okay maybe im jealous

29:55

Ugh mommy. They’re both so hot. I know we only see Agatha in this part but I’ll nut to the thought of Aubrey Plaza

30:06

You’re seriously using a fucking house lamp you idiot ✋😭

30:29

You tell me to stop I’ll do it mommy

OH LAWD I HAVE ISSUES

I have to shit bro 😭

31:07

Hooligan is so fucking funny 😭

31:33

Guys I’m nutting everywhere from her sitting like that she’s soooo gayyyyyy

The producer really said “gay” and Kathryn Hahn said “yes”

32:16

I think if I was in that situation as teen, I’d say I want to. I want to poke that damn bear and see if she’ll throw me on the desk and- oh. Right right. Not the point ✋😭😏

I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT SHE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS RALPHS RANDALLS? Idk anymore bro

32:59

Wait… this is so fucking funny bro 😭😭😭

33:45

OMG SHES LIKE IN THE INTERROGATION TABLE AND ITS ACTUALLY HER HOUSE BRO

I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION 😭😭😭

34:21

HOT HOOOTTTTT SHES SO HOT RIPPING THAT TAPE IS SO HOT

34:28

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY BRO

34:46

Hold on these side swipe things are going too fast I’m so lost. 😭 I hate having a horrible memory that makes me not be able to remember every single detail when we’re going back to something from a different pov

35:10

STFU SHE COULDNT HEAR EITHER TIME AND BOTH TIMES HE SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT I WONDER WHAT HE SAID ON THE ROAD WITH THE OTHER WITCHES

35:19

YEEESSSSS IM SK GLAD WERE BACK TO THE ROAD

35:28

Yes! Pull yourself out of that mystery goop!!!

36:11

FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DONT BREAK THE SIGIL PIECE FUCK YOU

37:53

Wait. I am so gullible I like her being nice bro ✋😭

38:00

COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS ROAD GOOP OR NOT THAT POSE IS FUCKIGN HOT

38:09

I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy the SIGIL is broken and she’s right or if she’s crying because she actually liked the kid

38:33

FUCK SHES BEING EVIL AGAIN I NEED A GOOD AGATHA AND I KNOW IM NOT GETTING THAT BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM

38:45

I’ll kill someone for you Agatha

39:05

Wait when she’s like don’t feel guilty about your talent I feel like she’s trying to be evil but it’s kind of endearing. Like. Shes so strong about it which means so many witches have felt guilty about their talents before and she doesn’t want that to hinder him. Even if she is evil that’s pretty sweet.

39:53

OH FUCK YOU BITCH KYS KYS HAHA THATS WHY YOU CANT USE YOUR POWERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD GOOD NOT DECENT GOOD

40:43

Stfu Agatha. Don’t mess with our bitch.

Robo papa? BAHAHAHAHAHAAA

she knowsssss

41:34

BAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA

42:02

“Got it” not her being serious for once ✋😭

42:25

DONT I KNOW IT BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME IM WATXHING YOU LITTLE MAXIMOFF BITCH

Post watching notes:

I seriously needed some Agathario shit and I didn’t get that and I’m mad. IM SO MAD THAT THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR WAS FOR TEO LITTLE BOYS I NEEDED MY MIDDLE AGE WOMEN TO MAKE TF OUT THEY ARE TEASING ME 😖😖😖

[moltenwrites]

OC INTERVIEW TAG

Thanks @the-golden-comet and @thatuselesshuman for the tags. I just wanna say, I loved both of your posts, they were super interesting.

This game is simple, have your characters answer the questions presented! I have 9 to go through here, with Astera ( Paintings ) and Nelios ( How Our World Ended ) answering!

1. What never fails to make you laugh?

Astera - Honestly, I always get a kick out of comedy movies. They can be cheesy, but I love that about them!

Nelios - Raven. He doesn’t try to be funny most of the time, but he’s a riot sometimes

2. How can you tell if you’ll get along with someone?

Astera - I tend to get along with people who are a bit softer. Asim- well he’s just so- kind. He speaks so formally, but it’s cute, and I could tell we would get along

Nelios - Depends. If dad’s around, then it’s if they agree with him. If it’s me, then I like when people are open to humor. Raven, Thoko, they both can get along with my humor y’know?

3. Do you prefer sweet, savory, salty, or sour snacks?

Astera - I’ve always had a bit of a sweet tooth!

Nelios - Salty snacks tend to hit the spot.

4. What is your favorite season?

Astera - Fall! It’s not too hot, and the leaves are so pretty

Nelios - The spring here is decent. Everything here is better than Ryback though.

5. Where would you like to visit?

Astera - Japan seems so pretty, if it wasn’t so expensive I’d love to go!

Nelios - This whole province sucks. I live here, one visits to ryback was enough, Murna is a shitshow, so I guess Arscaes would be the pick.

6. When do you usually go to sleep?

Astera - Around 9:30 PM, though I sometimes stay up a little later

Nelios - I wish I could sleep right after my shift ends, but responsibilities usually last untill 11:00 PM.

7. If you had to pick just one enemy, who would it be?

Astera - I, uh, don’t like conflict that much. I hope I’m not anyone’s enemy, because they certainly aren’t mine!

Nelios - The mercenary.

8. When did you feel safest, and why?

Astera - There was a time I was just sitting with my whole family when I was a kid. I think we were watching a movie? But I’m not sure. I do remember the feeling though, how it felt like everything was okay.

Nelios - When mom was around. She kept Dad in check. This- this isint going to him right?

9. If you could save only one person, who would it be?

Astera - Mariana. I feel bad for my sister, I wish I could help her:

Nelios - This isint going to Dad right? Okay. Then Thoko, if something happened to her id be broken.

Annnd that’s all; if you wanna do this you can pick the three questions you like the most out of these. Or if you wanna do em all, go for it! Thanks for reading, here’s the tag list! Let me know if you wanna be added or removed

@thatuselesshuman @ddgraywrites @juliana-jones @revenantlore @aintgonnatakethis @yourpenpaldee @illarian-rambling @autism-purgatory @gioiaalbanoart @the-letterbox-archives @theverumproject @noxxytocin @joseph-hooser @mk-writes-stuff @yrndrgn

+ Open, as always

[sailforvalinor]

Okay but wait, you went to Athens?! I’m going there for a couple days this June! Do you have any recommendations for what to see/eat while I’m there? (I’ll for sure see the Acropolis but other than that the itinerary is pretty open)

OOOOH that’s so exciting!!! I’m gonna try not to go overboard but here are a few of my favorite things:

• Monastiraki Square—depending on how you come at it, of course, it’s on the way to the Acropolis, and there’s a VERY cool open air market there. (There’s a giant sign, you can’t miss it.) Just make sure you keep a hand on your purse, it’s quite well-known for pickpocketing. Also, if you head up to the Acropolis from there, you’ll pass Hadrian’s Library, which is a really cool set of ruins where you can clearly see the different layers of where it was built over over time. But you won’t really be hard-pressed to find ruins in Athens, and the entry fees are usually pretty cheap—just make sure you always have some form of ID on you, sometimes they’ll ask for that.

• Also, if you take that way up to the Acropolis, you’ll pass Mars Hill (also called the Areopagus), which is where Paul preached to the Athenians in Acts! It’s a bit graffitied over (but that’s just kind of how Athens is), but it’s still REALLY cool, and you get a gorgeous view of the city from up there. Just be careful up there, it’s pretty much just a big rock and I almost fell many times 😂

• Bus tours are also fun if you want to see a broader swath of the city—there are a bunch that leave from Syntagma Square (and they’re double-decker!).

• Speaking of Syntagma, you could see the changing of the guards—they do it every hour, but the only time they do it in full-costume is at 11 am on Sundays. It was interesting, but honestly I think you could skip it, it’s not much to write home about.

• However, what you should NOT skip is the National Gardens—it’s fairly close to Syntagma, entry is free if I’m remembering correctly, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. They have turtles!!!!

• You could go to the Panathenaic Stadium, although they do charge entry. I would say just to go look at it if you really want to see it, but I don’t know that’s it’s worth paying to go inside—I did go inside once, but that was during the Marathon in November when everyone got in free, lol.

• In terms of food, in a strange twist, the Americanized version of Greek food is actually a lot lighter than the authentic kind—true Greek food (or at least in this area of Greece) is a lot heavier. It’s a lot of pasta and meat. I wasn’t actually the biggest fan of it, but if you want to try the staples, go for moussaka or souvlaki, which will be at almost any restaurant. What you definitely need to get though is tzatziki—oh my GOSH that stuff is wonderful.

• Also, you have to try lemon Coke and oregano Lay’s—I’m convinced that when the Ancient Greeks were imagining what ambrosia and nectar tasted like, they were dreaming of the flavors of lemon Coke and oregano Lay’s. I’ve found that no American variation (even with Freestyle machines) even compares to Greek lemon Coke.

• I found that gyros actually aren’t all that popular (or at least in this part of Greece)—I only ever had two in my four months of living there. They were really good, though.

• The coffee is great everywhere, honestly. One of the most popular drinks there is freddo, which is definitely worth trying if you’re big on espresso drinks. It is very intense, though.

• Dinner was honestly one of my biggest culture shocks while I was there. They don’t really start eating dinner until 7 at the earliest (and even that’s a little early)—so be prepared to get odd looks if you go get dinner at 5:30 (not that you can’t, of course). Also, it’s general practice to sit around and talk after your meal for hours—I saw families out with their little kids at 11 pm. Again, you don’t have to do this, but don’t be surprised when you see it, lol. Also, because of this, they consider it rude to interrupt you by bringing you your bill, so you have to ask for it by flagging down a waiter—I once got stuck for nearly an hour because I was waiting for a bill 😂.

• If you’re there on a Sunday, be warned that most stores and restaurants will be closed—there are exceptions, but it’s easy to get stuck somewhere without anything to eat.

I’m so excited for you, I hope you have fun!!

[galaxymagick]

@realvixx

[VIXX 11th Anniversary]

다시 돌아온 524 릴레이 라이브 순서 정하기 방식은⁉️

▶️ https://youtu.be/7Q_Bv00MUrc

5월 24일, VIXX 위버스 채널에서 만나요💙💛

본 영상은 실제 대화 내용으로 제작되었음을 알려드립니다.💫

#빅스 #VIXX #HAPPYVIXXDAY #VIXX11thAnniversary

524 relay live is back The order setting method is ⁉️

See you on VIXX's Weverse channel on May 24th💙💛

Please note that this video was made with actual conversations 💫

video translation and credit under the cut

Relay Live VIXX Convo 

trs cr: @binbingbong_

(only the imp parts because it's too long) 🤖: I'm trying to host a relay live this year, but before that lets under what essentials starlights need to attend a vixx event ?) k: its a mess lol lol N: ID, song download history, album, fanclub membership etc ken: but importantly, an unbroken heart n: unbroken.heart (it's a meme from some Korean TV) ken: hakyeonieee ofc you know what I'm sayin kekekekeej Leo: ah, sorry (just joined) N: jaehwan a~ it's hyung (bc he referred to hakyeon by name💀) ken: daeguniiiiiii~~~ N: daeguni Leo: kekekke n: what are you doing ken: daeguniii what are you doing /image/ our maknongieee where are youuu my lover Leo: hello rovix? k: my everything (referring to hyukie) L: rovix do your work properly ken: laughing N: robic is too slow L: get a grip rovix ken: please laughing Leo: aren't you gonna work (@ rovix) ken : laughing rovix: those are all important (items that hakyeon mentioned) but most important is fast hands! (quick speed) Leo: you're not in sane mind (still scolding rovix) ken: lol not doing work(not paying attention) ken: wdym hand speed (?) (hand power?) N: I think it's taking some time for rovix to process replies N: ahhh, power hands ! k: but why you slow rovix lol N: this jerk (affectionate) N: srsly u K: if it's quick hands it's me! [ t/n 순발력 means ability to make a quick judgement/react quick in an event]   I'm using speedy/power hands because I'm assuming they're talking about catching up to vixx that's why starlights need to have speedy hands but I'm not sure completely hyuk: enter// laughing N: still the same k: you'll be shocked to see my speed h: settle down (?) ken; laugh k: okay we need to have fast hands ... rovix: to test speed it's simple go to form link, answer the questions and submit are you ready for the text agents hyuk: let's do it fast I have lessons rovix: explains the method of submitting a form (what form) ken: rovix ssiiiiiii stop nowwww the youngest has to leave for a lessonnnnn n: seems like copy paste(?) ken: laugh hyuk; talking about how there's still 55 minutes left until form opens and why rovix is already preparing so ahead n and ken talk out of context rovix says they have to wait now ken talks about how he'll go read a book in the meantime hakyeon gets confused at this because hakyeon is in disbelief hakyeon tells him his hobby is reading hakyeon asks what he's been reading (note there is a lot of kekekke in between these I'll skip them) jaehwan says he's reading shin Chan's adventure rovix comes back to say the rule is that whoever submits the form as fast as possible and is the first to submit will be the first to start the relay live on 24 may 8 pm and they will go on order or the submission speed. jaehwan says then he'll surely be the first one to press submit. ken: oh no..I have an appointment on the 24

.....but it's in June lol lol lol hakyeon: jaehwana.... ken: yes hyungnim hakyeon: cute. ken: stickers "I'm stillll babyyyyyy" ken asks where did hyuk and Leo go and calls to Leo as daeguniiiiii

rovix says it'll be back before the form time and Hakyeon scolds him for running away so rovix replies with affirmative that it's running away everyone leaves until the submit time. hyuk asks what if he submits before the 11  time but rovix says it won't count

hyuk says he'll still be the winner hakyeon says something like he's not scared of anyone here he's the scariest around but this sounds so ooc I'm confused lol hyuk shares? croissants? pretzels? in the chat

hyuk says that since he received good energy today, he's already the winner today and hakyeon calls him cute . hyuk also went to Starbucks and hakyeon says that indeed he's the winner . it strikes 11 and then they submit. hakyeon is confident he's the first one and so is ken

the results are announced . because hakyeon submitted one before 11 am his entry is disqualified. hyuk wins first place. rovix announces the winner hakyeon is in disbelief why is he not the first one ken laughs at taekwoon asking if his real name is "Leo" because

Leo submitted it as Leo and not Jung taekwoon like the rest of them. Leo wants to resumits !! rovix says he can do that but he'll still be on last place. Leo resubmits.. rovix says he's in last place. rovix tells hyuk that's he can now decide the order of live. hyuk asks "is the order not the order of the form submission" rovix says no. the winner gets the right to decide the order so hyuk says that the order of form submission is acceptable. (order: Hyuk Ken N Leo)

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Stories from Memphis

Date sent: Thu, 10 Apr 1997 12:02:43 +1000 Subject: JBEL: jeff in memphis

I was working in the lab at scool on Monday and decided to check my mail (I had signed up for this mailing list only last week) and much to my surprise found out that Jeff Buckley was playing in Memphis that night. It was 4 pm, and I had no idea what time he was going to play, but I called my friend Jimmie, and he and I decided to take the risk of driving to Memphis and getting there before he quit playing. We thought it would be worth it even if we only got to hear the last chorus of his last song. We left Birmingham at 5:11 pm and got to Barrister's at 9:30 pm, and luckily there was an opening band who hadn't even started playing. Jimmie and I sat at the bar right in front of the stage. When we got there, only about 8 people were there. The opening act was different but pretty good - they seemed to be heavily influenced by King Crimson. I think the name of the band was Seven Four Slide. I talked to their guitarist Ben and his ex-girlfriend Melanie. They were very nice. I think Jeff started playing around 11:30. I had never heard him before live. He was incredible. His voice is so amazing. He played Grace, Mojo Pin, Last Goodbye, and some new songs. I was completely mesmerized throughout the entire show, and only came out of my trance when he would joke about something. He sang a bit from the song "Nicky" from Purple Rain. We were yelling the lyrics out to him because he couldn't remember them all. It was great. He played for about an hour and a half. After the show he hung out talking to everyone. Jimmie and I stayed at the bar until it closed at three. Jimmie, Jeff, one other guy, and I were the only ones left at the bar besides Kevin, the owner, and Andy, the bartender (both are really nice guys). We listened to Led Zeppelin on the juke box, and I watched while the guys played pool. Jeff beat Jimmie twice. As a prize for winning, Jimmie gave Jeff a copy of his band's tape (the suburban love junkies). Jeff seemed sincerely appreciative about receiving it. Then Kevin and Andy kindly kicked the four of us out of the bar, and we followed Jeff in his white Dodge Neon to the lamplighter where he was supposed to meet some friends. The lamplighter was closed, so we said goodnight to Jeff and went to find a place to stay the night. We were so wide awake that instead we ended up driving back to Birmingham. We are going back next week, and I highly recommend that anyone in the vicinity of Memphis make it to one, if not all, of the rest of his shows at Barrister's. If I were a millionaire, I would send all of you plane tickets (NY, Connecticut, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, etc.), but unfortunately all I can send you are brief descriptions of the shows. Until next week ...

Julie gene004@uabdpo.dpo.uab.edu (juliej@uab.edu)

Subject: JBEL: Memphis, Part II

It was not a dream.

After borrowing a car and a microcassette recorder; after packing the camera and the CDs; after rounding up my friends -- we left for Memphis yesterday at 4:30 PM. We weren't sure that we would be able to get into the bar, but we came anyway. Even if I couldn't get in, standing outside and listening would suffice, right?

We got to Memphis at around 7:30 and finally found the place ( Barristers') in a dark alley off of Second and Jefferson. When we approached the place, I saw a thin guy with a guitar walking in, and my heart started to race. I approached the figure, and to my dismay I discovered that the figure was just some guy named Jake of John or some other "J" name. Anyway, I introduced myself, and we talked for a minute. I was surprised when he said, "My band goes on at nine o'clock, and that other guy, Jeff, goes on at ten thirty."

"That other guy, Jeff?"

The man did not even know who Jeff was. It was really odd to hear him say "Jeff" with no "Buckley" attached. Yes, odd.

We went inside, and the owner just asked us for five dollars. No ID check, nothing like that at all. Nobody at all was there. The place had maybe four other people in it. I was hoping it would stay that way, too. We hung around for about five minutes, then we went to Beale Street and ate some barbeque, and then we came back at nine to find that the opening band had already started.

I didn't like the opening band, so I went outside to get some air. I saw the owner of the place, and I must've talked to him for an hour and a half. We talked about the internet (he posted the announcement on AOL) and how effective it was for this sort of thing, and we talked about Jeff a whole lot. It was really neat to talk to someone who seemed to know Jeff personally, I must say.

Barristers' advertised this show, so people started flowing in at about ten o'clock. I'd say there were about 75 people there altogether, though I'm not sure how accurate that estimate is. Anyway, the owner and I were the only ones standing outside when Jeff pulled up. He drove up in a white Neon at about ten-thirty, and got his guitar and amp out of his trunk. I asked him if he needed a hand, and he said no. I was disappointed, but I knew I'd see him again. He threw his things onstage and then came back outside to move his car. When he came back in, I introduced myself, and we talked for about five minutes. I asked him if I could tape the show, and he said "No, no, no, please don't... well, okay." We talked for just a few more minutes, and I asked if I could get some autographs after the show. He said "Sure, Doug," and then went inside. A few seconds later, he came outside and asked me not to tape the show, but said that it was lovely for me to ask. He said that it was just too dangerous, and started telling some story about the British mafia and bootlegging. I was disappointed that he didn't want me to tape the show, but I just couldn't find it in my heart to press the record button afterward. He asked me not to -- I wasn't going to.

He went inside, and even though the place was relatively crowded, no one approached him at all. Either no one knew who he was (that wasn't the case), or nobody had the guts to approach him. He went over to the pool table and began to play pool with a guy I had met earlier in the night, so I followed and watched. The guy he was playing was really bad, so about halfway through the game, I asked Jeff if I could have next game. He said an emphatic "Yes," I guess because the other guy was just so bad. They finished up (Jeff won), I put in 50 cents and Jeff the remaining 25, and Jeff racked the balls up. I won't tell you the play by play, but I won the first game, Jeff the second, and I the third. I didn't quite know what to do. I beat Jeff Buckley in pool. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Who knows. Anyway, we talked some more and then he went onstage. I was really the only one to talk to him, strangely enough. I didn't hover or anything, I was just friendly. He is really very approachable.

He popped onstage at about 11:15, tuned up, and launched into the most amazing version of "Grace" that I have ever heard. It was just him and his guitar, of course, so that made it even better. He cracked a few notes (not the really high ones, though), and afterward told us all about how smoking will make your voice "suck." He proceeded to play (I don't know about the titles of the new songs, but I'll take a guess) "The Sky is a Landfill," "Witch's (????something)," and a GORGEOUS version of "Morning Theft." That song was by far the best of the night.

After that, it was time for "Last Goodbye," and then he went into a really long Prince (back when he was Prince) imitation, and he talked about "Purple Rain" a whole lot. It was quite funny, but then he brought us back into our trance with "Mojo Pin." He finished off the set with a song I hadn't heard before, but I think it might have been called "Wild is the Wind." It was wonderful...the whole show was beautiful and it was my first.

After the show, one or two people approached him asking for pictures , but he asked them not to photograph him. After they left, I asked him for one autograph, but he signed (defaced is the word) the covers of "Grace," "Live at Sin-e," and "Live at the Bataclan." On "Bataclan," he signed it "Le AAARGH!" He drew sunglasses on his picture on "Grace," and signed "Take me with u!" I was thrilled. We talked for just a second more; about the book I was keeping my CD covers in -- Hume's "Dialogues on Natural Religion," and then I left. He had remembered my name, thank goodness, and as I left he said, "Catch you later, Doug." He will. Next week, hopefully.

I hope to see some of you there next Monday. Let me know if you plan on coming, and maybe we can meet up there. Come. It's more than worth the gas money.

If there's anything I left out (I doubt it, considering the length of this post), just mail me and I'll fill you in.

Rock on, etc.

-Doug "I beat Jeff in pool" Jennings Doug Jennings <jenninda@ctrvax.Vanderbilt.Edu

Buckley's 5355 Poplar Avenue Memphis, TN 38117 (901) 683-4538

Buckley's

If you are a big meat fan, then Buckley's will certainly treat your taste buds. Buckley's specializes in beef filets, and they do a good job. They also have one of the most extensive beer lists I have ssen in this city, with a huge variety of domestic and imported brands from which to choose. Another great treat at Buckley's are the butter garlic potatoes. In addition to filets, Buckley's also serves a few chicken dishes and a good assortment of appatizers and pastas. All of the entres are reasonably priced and dinner will run around $10 per person. Buckley's in open for dinner seven days a week. There is a full bar. Credit cards are accepted but checks are not. Parking can fill up fast, so you may want to dine early here. Return to Memphis Restaurants

[straighttxhell]

Get to know me! 💋

So,, @the-type-a tagged me in this like 8 months ago and never got a chance to do it cause tumblr kept deleting the draft but I am procrastinating doing my final project to graduate college so here goes nothing

Thanks for the tag and feel free to do it again cause lmao it's been a whike

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

No I wanna get a spider gwen tattoo but I dont have a ton of money rn

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

Pastel pink 🩷

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

Spinach Pasta

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

11:27 pm (when i started, its 11:50 now)

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius sun, Taurus moon, and Aquarius rising.

I also have Venus and Mars in Scorpio so that pretty much sums up why I'm insane.

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

I really enjoy cockney accents, Daniel Kaluuya's in particular. Maybe it's just his voice.

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

Yes, I accidentally stabbed my thigh, also accidentally cut it with a blade, and my legs are covered in permanent bruises from when I danced.

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

Every time I do it I get smth different, so either INTP or ISFP??

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

SPIDER-VERSE!!!!!! MY ENTIRE LIFE

I CHOSE MY CAREER BC OF IT

📺 - Favourite show?

The Office probably, or Community, I really like sitcoms

😂 - Are you ticklish?

Isn't everyone??

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, I am one of those ppl that want to meet like their one true love and get married and spend our entire lives together

😳 - Do you like your name?

It triggers me a little so I don't like to be called by it but I like the name by itself a lot

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

Like a beige green, I hate it but it came like that and am too lazy to paint it

🤓 - How did you get your name?

My mom liked it thats it lol

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

This month hopefully, my ceremony isn't until January tho

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

Yeah I have the normal ones, two in my left ear and one in my right ear so I can freely forget to wear earrings Id add a pick but I dont want to

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

Veeeery dark brown

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

A messy bun, I like having it down although it's mostly hot here so that's not possible, and sometimes I do have to put it in a bun cause my hair is really really thin and straight so it tangles incredibly easy and it takes me a good 5 minutes to brush it and I tend to be in such a hurry every morning I simply can't afford to do that

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

Yes I didn't know tho lol I was 14 and drinking funny tasting grape juice at sleepovers, my friends thought I knew lol uhmm but yeah after that I stopped until I was 18 and back from quarantine

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

Don't take me as a role model please, but yes and I love getting drunk, I've never blacked out but I do remember every now and then funny memories like huh I forgot I did that 🥰 Also I've only once drank so much I puked it all up next morning

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

Roaches?? Not trying to get too deep

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Hot. I hate not being able to move bc of cold, my body aches so bad when its cold.

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

Cloudy, rainy and not cold, like eventually the sun comes out yknow

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

Fall

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Catssss

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

2 cats!! And my sister has 2 dogs but they're also kinda mine ig

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

No idea, I am way too sleep deprived to notice at the end

🎨 - Any hobbies?

Drawing, painting, video editing and designing, anything creative

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

New York 😭😭😭 if i had a visa also Id love to stay at the plaza hotel

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

Probably Taylor Swift?? or the Spice Chalk Stretch Naked Wokfe boots

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

PINTEREST, a girl without pinterest is an angel without wings..

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

City by far, I've spent all my life in the city and wouldn't stand not having everything I have here

Tagging: @spnyuri @queer-cosette and idk who is still active here but whoever wants to do it

[heavyhitterheaux]

It was around 11 pm when you had finally finished doing your hair with the help of Jack. He had seen you earlier starting to take out your knotless braids and asked how he could help the process go by faster. If he don’t help take down my hair, I DONT WANT HIM 🥹

Jack had then slipped your bonnet over top of your braids and the two of you were now laying down in a comfortable silence until you broke it. He helped TAKE IT DOWN, WASH & CONDITION ANDDDDD PUT HER BONNET ON FOR HER. WHEN THE FAWK IS IT MY TURNNNN 😭

"Shiiiit." Jack knew that your hair was probably sore and as bad as he wanted to grab it to pull you closer to him, he decided not to. He’s so coinciderete 🤭🫶🏽

"I am knee deep in my girl's pussy so why the fuck do our phones keep going off when I'm trying to make her cum?! Somebody better be dying with the amount of times you called us." I FORGOT ABT THIS 😭 imagine if it was his mom!! I know he ain’t check caller ID

"Jack, they found out she used to be an exotic dancer and they are tearing her to shreds. I wanted to warn the two of you before either of you saw it. Tell her to call Allison when she gets a chance." I CANNOT FUCKING STAND PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!! Why the fuck it y’all business what she used to do? 🤨

"Nothing can break you or us. We've made it this far, right?" HES just so ughhhh 🥹

theshaderoom: Our beloved first black principal dancer of The American Ballet Theater, Y/N Y/L/N Harlow apparently used to be an exotic dancer at Blue Flame in Atlanta before getting her big break! Flip through for more pictures and the post by one of her former co-workers who used to dance with her! The shaderoom is so fucking messy!! MIND YO DAMN FUCKING BUSINESS 🖕🏽

balletislife: this is absolutely disgusting and makes the entire ballet world look like a joke. no one with that type of past should ever be in a position such at the principal dancer I’m sorry, what uh- WHO. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU?? Bitch bye. Go get a fucking life.

msmelanie: just reminiscing about old times at Blue Flame. still remember how it took us days to practice this and get it right and how no matter how much we tried to give up, Y/N wouldn't let us. and that's probably why she's principal dancer now. so so incredibly proud of her and I knew from the beginning that she was going to make something of herself. it was always me, her, and Alyssa against the world when we stepped through those doors. she went to Julliard, got married to her celebrity crush and is now one of the most sought out dancers in the world. still can't get over it! I miss dancing with all my girls! This whole thing just sounds condescending as fuck! Even is she don’t mean any harm by it. Like bitch why would u put this on social media, if you really missed her why not try & reach out?! You knew what u were doin wit yo hatin ass 😐

Mom- I raised you better than that I- are you serious?? SHE TOOK OF YALL, nearly sacrificed her dream for you & that what u wanna say 🤨 besides IT WAS IN THE PAST, ITS BEEN DONE & OVER WITH, get over it 🙄 also SHES A GROWN ASS WOMAN)

"So, Jack tell me. Is the rumor going around about your wife Y/N true?" IS THIS BITCH FR?? Who tf do they think they are?? Askin outta pocket shit like that. This interview is abt JACK NOT YN! Dipshit

"Your last name is Harlow and I'm going to need for you to act like it. We only have winners in this family and that isn't changing any time soon. Now, you ready to go?" AHHHHH I LOVE THIS MAN WIT MY WHOLE HEART & COOCHIE 🤭

(PART TWO COMING 🙈)

AHHHHHH this was everything and I LIVE for your reactions lol

And yessss gimme a man like this. When is it my turn!?!?

The way he goes hard for her and protects her is top tier 🥺

Yeah and her momma was wrong. Dead wrong. But we shall see how this plays out.

Remember when she was little she was a daddy's girl and not really close to her mom. She really did it for her brothers. It's not that the two of them didn't get along. The relationship was just different.

And whew that interview was outta pocket.

Jack was like

You better not disrespect her in front of him 😤

[forestryfae]

holy fucking shit is it possible to get more self centered. holy shit.

stepmom called at like 22:30 the first time. didnt answer. clear sign to not fucking call again id say given most normal people are asleep by now. called again like ten minutes later and i thought well maybe its an emergency. surely shes not stupid enough to call twice in the evening around most peoples bedtime. <--- said by someone who was once called by her 7 times in half an hour and all they wanted was either a chat or they bought me a lamp at ikea idfr

nope. shes chatting away and shit asking where i am, whether i want to celebrate christmas with them, fully expecting me to let them help me when i move into an apartment.

first of all lmao wtf. im not asking them for fucking help moving my shit, if i did theyd go to sweden that exact day and be like "oh were in sweden right now but we can come by later :)" like they did when we asked them to maybe come help w the house. dad was tasked with contacting a lawyer for me once too, he promised hed do it he knew how horrible i had it and when we got to the meeting w my support team he told me he hadnt done it. 2 months i waited and he just hadnt bothered. btw i got really sick a few days later. fever, exhaustion, the whole thing.

and then shes like "it must be so nice to have your legal guardian and finally have someone who gets stuff done" yeah well dad was useless and mom was actively hindering me from talking to a lawyer and you and dad knew how bad it was but you didnt do shit to help so. thanks for that ig.

btw letting me stay for a week during christmas does not count. i really want to say im grateful but rn i dont feel grateful. im pissed. they knew how bad it was and did fucking nothing. i talked about how bad it was and they did nothing but try to talk down how bad it was, atleast dad. sure, stepmom defended me sometimes but having my dad say the shit he did and acting like it was no big deal living alone in a rotten cold house w two cats while i was severely depressed and utterly isolated and only helping if he felt like it. holy fucking shit. yeah dude atleast its getting taken care of i fuvking guess. being a parent doesnt stop when your kid turns 18 and if you marry a dude w kids you cant just. not talk to the kids if it doesnt suit you

and shes asking for all this info about where i am and so on and i just gotta lie. i dont wanna have to argue with a grown ass woman at nearly 11 pm and tell her i straight up dont want them to know cus theyve been utterly useless at all times except like. two times. dad fixed some electrics and i got to stay for christmas and thats it. ive been driven home after shopping sure but whose fucking fault is it i dont have a license? could unsupportive parents who offer to help but dont ever let me drive be part of the problem? could the lack of legal help and effort be a part of the problem?

and obvs im answering in single words and the occasional sentences cus im fucking annoyed and trying not to be rude but shes chatting away about shit she has no business knowing or getting involved in at almost 11 pm. so the call ends w her asking if im sad cus i "sound so sad" like no im not sad. tell her im not sad. she said something afterwards i dont remember but i did wind up saying that "well its kind of really late to call someone at 10:30 in the evening" and she starts. going on about how she just really missed me and missed talking to me and at this point internally im just fuming. she called that late at night just to chat? is she fucking stupid?

like its not bad enough the only times i ever get called is when theyre bored in the car and need entertainment so i have to sit there listening to my own voice echo out of their handsfree while the mic is garbling their voices so bad i can barely tell wtf theyre saying over the sound of traffic. and now shes calling in the middle of the night tol cus her emotional need is too important to let people sleep

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006 4:19 pm "baby im getting on a plane in a minute i wanted to say bye and i love you..." its funny the way being young exaggerates everything. when we fall in love or fall apart its all magnified. ive been waiting on a change. ive been waiting for you to not give up on me. i should have bet against myself and thrown the game. its always the same. the same people that are not me with the strange coastal breeze and the strange coastal boys. the truth is even funnier. its slippery. it looks different at 1am than it does at 10am. it looks different two weeks later. you know what the fuck i am talking about. its always new names and numbers. but its the same. and i am dirty, forgetful, lonely, arrogant, stubborn, secretive, and many other things i hear in whispers. but my heart is fucking in it. you could set your watch by it. and that has been thrown out and trashed. lied to. ignored. run away from. i have the opposite of midas' touch.

no matter how you spin it- it hurts. words cannot explain- congratulations! you did it again.

but being in the bitter boys club just keeps the cycle spinning. so this is me walking away. this is the closure i needed. or close to it.

i want to be in love again. she is the start of it- she reminds me of sweet child o'mine and staying up all night talking and the truth and winks that are just for me.

there are no futures here. there are no more second chances or arkansas- or wrong text messages. 'the girl i loved never really existed at all'...

this journal doesn't really make sense anymore. the purpose i started it for is out the window and out of my mind. this will be the last entry in here. its gonna be okay.

"its not that id die for you, its that i already have."

next time try telling the truth.

Current Music: "wish you were here" pink floyd Saturday, March 4th, 2006 3:15 pm i know its true because i read it on the internet and everything on the internet is true i am sick in new york city. watching top model. i loved the secret show at knitting factory. its like someone hit the rewind button on my life. perfect. i am in love with my band at times like this. they get me, i get them. words fail me right now. my head gets to me sometimes. congratulations. you hurt my feelings. yep. thats right. ive got feelings (barely hehe). threw up right before we went on and fell asleep right when we got off. down with a sickness. natalie portman thinks we are geeks. i think she is right. time to eat grilled cheese and tomato.

santino > pete wentz.

for realz. Thursday, February 23rd, 2006 1:50 am "just like in the 1 9 9 9- before model chicks were bending over..." its late. i cant sleep. when i have noone to turn to, i usually turn to the words. right now the words disappoint me. just like everything else. i always said that when this stopped being fun and cathartic that i would walk away. it seems as though this time is quickly approaching. i tired of the endless explanations as you tire of the excuses. nothing is ever good enough on either end. i have not changed the way i think or feel any more than anyone has. i am ordinary- i am just some boy. be careful what you wish for pete.

i will write more here only tommorrow. hopefully the sunlight will change how i look at things. its funny i think that our video contains some predictions of the spirit of where we are now. if this doesn't get better then...

im sorry. i am not equipped for this.

goodnight moon. Sunday, February 19th, 2006 11:34 pm we put the f.u. back in fun so ive been reading many peoples diatribes lately. about what punk rock is and how bullshit this whole scene is. about how we all need to fuck off and die. well the truth is youre so fucking brave and i am so fucking cliche. i am okay with that. but i believe in these songs and these eyes and these sweated out rooms. the words your write hurt my eyes and my back is sore from being hunched over the screen all night. you cheapen what i do by casually throwing barbed statements at my friends and fans. leave. we don't fucking need you. we dont care what you think about us. we dont need to sit in clubs and watch you excuse yourself to the bathroom every 20 minutes, just cause we know how it goes. we dont need to watch you onstage. the best songs sing themselves. ive said it since day one. this is my rushmore. this saved me. fuck you for trying to ruin it.

new songs are my middle finger back to you. im sorry youre gonna have to wait awhile to hear yourself called out through the speakers.

i love the way they always ask to see my room key when i walk into my hotel at night. like i do not belong. because i do not belong. i love opposition. i love the haters. i love mondays. i love accidents. i love "no more chances". i love walking through this city at night where i do not know anyone. because i do not know anyone. i love secret shows. i love coded messages. i love the way you have me figured out so much better than i have myself figured out.

xo

peterabbit Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 5:04 am so you want the truth been living just outside of okay for awhile now. but its changing. whatever story you heard about me is not true. im pretty sure im not gonna bring home a grammy tommorrow. but i will have lots of good pictures. how i am feeling about someone is always changing. except i am allowed to be happy inside my head right now. ive been scared of everything for far too long. i haven't let myself be alright. but ive done alot of thinking on the 12 hour flight here. i just like being around certain people. new friends make my heart flutter. old ones make me feel homesick. been going to grammy parties all week. yeah im that guy in the corner lurking hard. its kinda creepy. ive been training the last month for our video- however i think i may have sprained or fractured my foot in the last day. if this thing turns out the way it is supposed to- it will be the most epic thing fall out boy has ever done. i dont miss you but i do miss the idea of you. i went and looked at houses out in california again today- i want to get a dog and a backyard. maybe not just yet. but maybe. my clock is ticking on your pretty face. my dad got drunk tonight and talked shit to all of my friends. pretty amazing. i wish i had it on video. total release the bats two material. i want to do a tv show like the wonder years starring fall out boy. i don't think any networks would be too interested. dont call it a comeback.

put pennies on my eyes when i die.

you are new moons and fresh sheets and the end of that one dream.

love the fancy kid.

[jodilin65]

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1993 I’ll quickly get to yesterday’s bad news so I don’t get too pissed and ruin my day. Tom left at 11 AM yesterday to go to the racetrack and the instant he left, who the fuck do you think blasted off? They fucking played till 3:30. I know God’s aiming this at me and not Tom. I was incredibly pissed! I was within inches of going over there, but I said I’d wait till mid-January to see how it is then. Tom really thinks it’s high school kids and that they’ll shut up after the New Year. I’ve got to see it to believe it. People are so fucking rude and inconsiderate. Not only did it flash me back to a horrible trip down memory lane, but I felt so controlled. I couldn’t watch TV, couldn’t open the doors. Hell, I even went out back on the swing and I could still hear it. Those fucking cock-sucking assholes! They have a right to their music in their own home, but I have a right to my peace and quiet or TV in my home. Tom was super cool and very comforting. He didn’t put a guilt trip on me or tell me it shouldn’t bother me. It does, and I can’t help my feelings any more than a woman who loves kids can or a guy who hates hockey can. I’m afraid they’ll do this 1-3 times a week for years. No fucking way. I’ll burn their house down, so help me God. I’ll torch their place if that’s what it’ll take.

I live in a house now, for God’s sake! I shouldn’t have to put up with shit like this.

Later…

Just had a cigarette and now I’m ready to get to life’s pleasant side. Tammy got her CDs and the package.

I spoke to Fran this morning who’s sick with the flu and broke up with Sharon, as they usually are every other day. He hasn’t got the tapes yet or postcards, but he will today, I’m sure. So will Bob. Fran also gave me Ann W’s address. I’ll send her a letter for him.

Got a letter from Bob yesterday, and Book of Letters #5 is complete. He drew a menorah, which was sweet, yet funny as he was short by two candles.

Later, Tom and I are going out to a restaurant.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1993 I didn’t get the chance to continue writing yesterday, as I was somewhat busy. What happened was that I fell asleep at around noon on Sunday. Then at 4 PM, those mother-fucking assholes across the street woke me up playing their fucking drums. Yes, I forgot to put my radio on, but the point of the matter is the same as always. I’m fucking sick of waking up from other people’s noise! I now live in a house for God’s sake! When the fuck am I ever gonna be able to sleep with no music on and be able to get up when I say so?!

If in the middle of January, these assholes are still doing this 1-3 times a week, I’m gonna do something about it. I promise that. I told Tom and he understands, but I’d still do something even if he didn’t cuz I’m not as heavy of a sleeper as he is and I live here too, and have a right to sleep in my own home when I want to and not be bothered by other people’s noise. I’ll start with a kind, yet blunt anonymous letter, then if that doesn’t work, I’ll talk to them face to face or send an anonymous letter to the cop across the street that lives two houses away from these jerks and see if he can do something. Now that these people next door have been quiet, it’s these folks' turn to annoy me. I bet if they upped and moved, God would pick another house to annoy the fucking shit out of me. I can’t wait for the business to hitch off so we can get into that ranch we’ve been talking about.

So anyway, I was luckily able to go back to sleep at 9 PM and got up at 3 AM.

Tom was off yesterday and he worked on the pool. We also went food shopping and stopped at Jack-n-the-Box for breakfast. After he dropped me off he went to bring Tammy, Bob and Fran’s packages to the post office, picked up the driver’s manual, then did errands of his own.

I’m gonna study the driver’s manual and take a written test. If I pass, I’ll have a license for $25 for 12 years. If I flunk, I’ll just get a photo ID for $7. Andy says if I can pass the police exam, I can pass this. I hope so, cuz after all, I did pass it in MA.

Tom and I also had some fun but didn’t get around to experimenting with the KY jelly yet, but we will sooner or later. We also played the card game on the computer and I did my usual hobbies. Watched TV, listened to music, etc.

Yesterday I got those 50 postcards in the mail. That sure was fast. I have 10 going to Fran, 10 to Kim, 10 to Bob, 10 to Alex, 6 to Nervous and 1 to Tammy, Lisa, Becky and Sarah. I thought it’d be something different since it’s been so long since I’ve written to Tammy and the girls.

Yesterday I also sewed Andy’s pillowcase and I gotta get more yarn to do the booties.

I ended up conking out at 4 PM and I awoke at 11:00, got up and had a smoke, fell back asleep and awoke to what sounded like a ball bouncing at 2 AM. That was OK, though, cuz by that time I’d had plenty of sleep and I sure did need it. When I fell back asleep at 11:00, I had shut off the radio, too. I have to expect to be woken up if I turn off the radio.

When I got up, I called Andy. I’m surprised he did not really let me have it since I can’t find his tape and I know it’s on its way to either Bob or Fran. Can you believe I was that stupid and irresponsible?! Well, I was. He asked me if in a few days, I could type up a huge list of Stevie songs for him. I told him that’d be no problem.

After that, I ate, played with the pig, played the card game, put my tooth whitener on, put my makeup on and now I will go listen to some tunes.

Later…

Shortly after Tom got up, we went over the driver’s manual. I wrote out more postcards, too.

Got two checks in the mail from my parents. Each for $25. One said Happy Birthday, the other says Happy Hanukkah.

I talked to Dean, the guy who lives next door. I said I was sorry I went off on his wife Lenore and that I should’ve been more understanding of their moving situation. He said they understood and there were a lot of people there. They’ve been so quiet, as now it’s the house across the street’s turn. But I’ll get to hear them this weekend.

It was actually pretty nice out once it got to be close to 11:00. I aired the place out, dusted and vacuumed. Went out back for a bit and even took the pig out. She liked it and wasn’t even nervous.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1993 Well, I sure had a bad night last night, but luckily it only lasted 5 hours.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1993 I went to bed at noon yesterday.

Amazingly enough, I heard no music the last two nights.

Before I went to bed I called sweet old Barb. She was actually a tiny bit friendly. She also moved. Really? They were there for 11 years. I never thought they’d move. She says Debbie’s still there. I believe it.

I got up at 8:00 and Tom had come back from his parents. He got a $50 bill, an inflatable Frisbee for the pool, a T-shirt, a book light, and a few other things.

Now here’s the shocker - Tom never told his brother David and his sister-in-law Evie, who is expecting a kid, that I write journals. Neither Tom nor I even thought I’d get anything from them, but sure enough, there was a package for me when I got up. They got me a journal! I instantly thought Tom told them, but he swears he never did. Way cool! I now have a total of 56 journals.

I still can’t find Andy’s tape. His “psychic” ability says it’s here somewhere. This is what he left a message saying. While he does have an accurate psychic ability, for the most part, I’m gonna hate to have to tell him he’s wrong. He also left his phone off the hook for me to leave party line messages from the radio station. I called Gina and she says she’s not doing the party line right now.

I typed letters to Kim and Alex and also played that game. Now I’m so bored. What do I do now?

Later…

Can’t sleep so I was just up doing some thinking. God, that’s absolutely amazing that Dave and Evie got me a journal. Tom looked dead-serious when he said he never mentioned my doing journals. Well, maybe Evie’s psychic.

Speaking of that, the so-called psychic issue, I can’t help thinking about my dad. He knew other things in the past that I didn’t or didn’t believe. For example, when I was fat, like in the 130s - 140s, he said he knew I’d lose it. Well, of course, I did. He dropped numerous hints about my someday finding “Mr. Right.” Well, remember how I mentioned he recently said, “It’ll work. It’s your time now” as far as Tom and I go? I wonder if he knows whether or not I’ll ever have a kid. Right now I’d say I can’t see myself having one within the next 2-3 years, but I also couldn’t see PHX, dancing and Tom. I can’t see myself ever getting the fuck off the damn cigarettes, either.

Later…

Tom’s at work now, but he has tomorrow off.

We’re both anxious to get the back room and his room fixed up nicely as he wants to get the house appraised. He also has to fix a part of the kitchen ceiling.

We’re both looking forward to having some fun, too. I’ve been so horny and I’d like to see just how much that KY jelly will help if it even does at all. So far, though, he’s only been able to put only the tip of his dick in me. He hasn’t cum yet either, but he’s come close. Thankfully we both aren’t wanting and trying for me to get pregnant.

But what if he can never cum? What if someday we do decide we want a kid, although I doubt it and I seriously do believe I’m sterile? How’s he gonna cum? Even if he could cum, he’d have to do it in a cup. Then I’d have to use a turkey baster, as gross as it may sound. Then again, enough people have said if a guy cums outside of you, that those things can swim up there if you catch my drift.

I’ve also heard other weird things. Some women can tell if they’re ovulating. I can’t. I also hear it’s 14 days after your period that you can conceive, then I also hear a few days before periods and during periods. Oh well.

There’s nothing on TV as usual on weekend mornings, so I guess I may as well go play that computer game for now.

Later…

I’m so fucking bored, but not ready for sleep yet. I played more of that computer card game and I also listened to some music.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1993 I sure had a fun and productive night.

Let me just mention a couple of funny things that happened yesterday morning first. I beat the pants off of Tom in a computer card game. It was fun.

Then Tom opened the back door and said, “What is the chair doing in our pool?” Well, the wind blew it in.

Yesterday I finally got Ma’s envelope. They made it sound like they mailed it two weeks ago. They only mailed it out on the 20th. So, anyway, there was a card in it along with about 15 pictures of their new condo. It is absolutely gorgeous. If I was still alone it’d be perfect for me. They’re in a 2-bedroom with 2 floors now. Their furniture is totally my style and Tom and I both agreed that their kitchen and bathroom looked exactly like ours were in Crystal Creek.

I typed them a letter as well as one to Bob.

Tammy sent a card too and it was so sweet of her to put Tom’s name on it too. This is my first card with someone else’s name on it. That sure is weird and different for me, but nice.

Last night Tom and I had lots of fun wrapping Christmas presents for his family. We put bows on it too, and I made pouches for those people getting lottery tickets. He also printed out Christmas pictures which I colored in.

Andy came over and I re-dubbed his tape. I also gave him the notes I wrote out. I’m sewing a ripped pillowcase for him, and for his birthday I’m making booties for him. I can begin that now, as I finally finished Tom’s little bag for his portable computer.

Andy’s gonna want to kill me and I don’t blame him. I was making a tape for him of all the calls left on his answering machine. Well, I think I taped over it with stuff for Fran and Bob. I have never been so stupid, irresponsible, and air-headed before! I’m so pissed off.

Tom’s in the shower now and real soon he’ll be going over to his parents.

I’m trying to stay up so my schedule’s prepared for the 6th. That’s the GYN appointment.

I can’t believe they didn’t blast their music across the street last night, but thank God!

Later…

I’m trying to keep awake and there is absolutely nothing on TV.

Tom’s in the bathroom with diarrhea. What a lousy way to start off Christmas. The poor guy.

When I do sleep, I’m able to sleep with the music off more so than usual cuz the dogs have been quieter. Tonight, however, across the street may very well blast off. It’s Christmas and it’s also Saturday night. Unless they’re gonna go elsewhere for Christmas or have any respect enough to not blast out other people’s Christmas, I don’t think they (or most people) give a damn.

Even though I’d like to change my schedule for a little while, I hope on New Year’s Eve I’m up to watch the ball go down. If not, I’ll tape it.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1993 I got my package today. I got two other things besides my guitar. A sweatshirt and a makeup kit. Naturally, no pictures, and no other mail. I typed Mom and Dad a letter letting them know I haven’t gotten the envelope.

Andy’s bringing his tape over tomorrow to re-dub. I didn’t have the volume control up high enough. I didn’t know this as there’s no volume control for recording on my stereo. The edits came out OK, though, cuz I checked them.

Got my period yesterday which I’m so sick of. Maybe on the 6th, I’ll get lucky and the GYN will say I need a hysterectomy.

I sent Tammy and Lisa messages through Prodigy. Also checked Springfield weather. It’s currently 10º! But hey, it’s pretty chilly here now.

Haven’t heard any kids, the dogs have been quieter, but those fucking assholes across the street blared their music for a good two hours. I’ll have to listen to that for the next two nights, too. It seems Thursday, Friday and Saturday are the days that they usually blast off. It’s definitely a live heavy metal band and nothing like when I blast my music. There’s no way other people could hear my music, even if they were outside. It’s the base that kills me.

I have half of Tom’s tote bag done for his little mini portable computer.

Let’s see…what else did I do today? I changed Beauty’s cage, watched TV, did my nails, did dishes and straightened up. Tom hopes to have the pool done soon. I also crimped my hair and rearranged and reorganized some of my cosmetics. Now, I think I may type a letter. To whom, I don’t know.

Later…

I typed a letter to Fran and played computer games. Right now I think I’ll go listen to music. Maybe I’ll write more later if I can’t sleep. If not, I’ll write late tomorrow night or tomorrow. TV was kind of boring. No good TV to watch if I can’t sleep, though.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1993 I got up at 7:00 last night. Course I got no mail. Tom went to bed right after I got up.

During the night I watched TV and did some awesome wall art with the markers Tom got me yesterday.

Tom got up at 3 AM and we went to MacFrugal’s which is a discount store. It’s a really neat store and I definitely want to go back when I have more money.

We got 4 little pads with mirrored covers. One with stars, the others with balloons, teddy bears and hearts. We got some glue that’s similar to the roll-on glue, plush street sign stickers, (one of them’s on a journal cover), and Tom got more Christmas presents. We also got one of those things you can write on, then lift up this plastic-like thing and it takes away what you wrote. I had one when I was little and they’re very quick and convenient for writing short quick notes.

Lastly, I got a twin-size foam thing to put on top of my mattress to make the bed softer. It sure beats the foam I cut from my sleeper/couch.

Tom and I are gonna order stamps through Prodigy and I’m gonna buy some really cute envelopes I saw at Walmart and the grocery stores. I only have 9 of those 100 stamped envelopes I ordered. For now, I ordered 50 postcards for $9.50.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1993 Tom just left to hopefully finish his Christmas shopping.

I showed him the stuff I got. He liked it.

Andy brought over a Christmas card that was left outside of the mailboxes at his apartment complex. It was something about owning the Rockies and being a good team. “Hard to keep up with 3 kids. John becoming a dad. It seems like yesterday they were smoking cigarettes in some fort, throwing apples at cars and trying to score with the twins. They wished they lived closer. Whoever gets near Cheyenne, let them know.”

Well, I’m sending this card to Nervous. I also typed a letter to Kim that I’m “accidentally” mailing to Nervous. Yes, I said some pretty wild stuff in the letter and most of it is bull.

Earlier, I taped a movie called Illusions, but I don’t think I’ll watch it right now. Luckily both Unsolved Mysteries and Law & Order will be back on tonight. Some stupid Bob Hope Christmas special was on in place of it last week.

My ear is ringing. I fucking hate that.

Yesterday I still got no fucking envelope from my parents. Maybe it got lost, but if I don’t get it by Friday, I give up. Not on life as Tom, though, but on expecting it. I hope they didn’t accidentally address it to our address but Dr. or St. We’ll see. I hope to hell Tammy gets her CDs cuz she still hasn’t gotten those yet.

I’m gonna knit Andy a pair of slippers for his birthday which is February 15th. He really liked the pair I made. I’ll also send Lisa a check for $10 for her birthday which is January 20th. Larry’s birthday is January 15th and I’ll get his address from Tammy and send just a card.

I wonder if the package Mom and Dad sent by UPS will get here tomorrow? I doubt it. It’ll probably come after Christmas. I sure wish to hell that whenever it comes that my pictures were in it. What a dream. I mean, what a total fantasy it’d be to open up the package and there they are! Yeah - right! I’d surely die of shock though. What would I say to them? God! I’d be speechless. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. If only they knew all I’ve done since being here in Phoenix. They’d die of pure shock! I’ll bet you if I saw them all, I’d be like, oh yeah! I remember this picture! I forgot all about it. I can’t really even remember all of them. There were so many. She stole 30-50, at least. Well, I’m a firm believer that what goes around comes around. Maybe someone’s stolen from her. Or did something similar. I know I’m dreaming, but what a Chanukah and birthday present it’d be to get them all back. It’d be like 5 years’ worth of birthday and Chanukah presents combined altogether. Oh, please, God! Let them finally be in this package. Please, please, please, please!

You know, I did some counting earlier. I’ve gotten 30 new journals since coming to PHX. Did 21 in 1993, but that’s not counting #54 and #55. Got 9 journals since I moved into this house. Not bad!

Later…

I still can’t sleep, but oh well.

When Tom came back from shopping he brought me a box of different colored markers. How sweet and just what I needed, too. He just left for work a few minutes ago.

Wendy left a message about possibly coming over after work. Really? I told Tom he’s got a right to have his friends visit just like I do. His response was, “I care about Wendy very much, but I refuse to let anyone come between us.” Who knows what’s going on, but I don’t care what he decided to do.

His friend Geri’s moving back here from S. Dakota. Now, this woman is someone I definitely don’t want to see, and he knows it. He told her on the phone last night I was staying forever. She still says I’m gonna hurt him. Yeah, sure. I can see and understand her fear of this, though, due to the sorry statistics of assholes out there that do hurt people.

Tom also bought more labels. The kinds that number these books. That’s cool as we only have black. This little kit also has blue, yellow, orange, red and green.

He was showing me some of the Christmas presents he bought. One of them was a paint glue for fabric with a pattern in it and you dot the paint so that the picture comes out dotted. I wanted something like this for myself. It only costs $3.

Later…

I forgot to mention what I’m doing for Andy. First of all, when he came over, he brought 3 tacos and I had one. He also brought me an NPN envelope and Tom gave me one, too. I came across 16 more pictures I don’t want. Mainly of Andy’s first apartment from when he first moved here. Also, a hideous one of me when I was around 21 and two of me with my hair shoulder length when I lived on Oswego St. in Springfield. I put 8 in each envelope.

Before Andy left to come out here, I wrote tons of little papers with lines from edits and songs and whatever. He slowly distributed them in cars, stores, etc. So, I had about 30 small, loose pieces of paper that I wrote all kinds of mumbo jumbo, including Ellie’s phone number. I’ll give him these next time I see him.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 21, 1993 Just finished watching TV. I also typed Bob a letter.

I did a little bit of exercise and used the Thigh Master. I’ve been constantly using the Thigh Master for two weeks now. Gotta keep it up. I concentrate on my thighs and lower gut mainly. The rest of me is pretty good.

Still haven’t gotten my period yet, but I will by Christmas. I’m so fucking bloated and up to 102 pounds. At least I am much firmer. I’m getting more muscle definition.

I cut two old sweatshirts into half-shirts. I also have a very long sleep shirt. Too long and obnoxious and it gets in the way. I cut it shorter. Lastly, I cut a long strip of material, about 7-8” wide. I put it behind me, took it in front across my boobs and then tied it between my tits. This looks very sexy. I got this idea from a dancer at the Ex-Cal who did this with a scarf. Or a shawl.

I pretty much slept all day and had several weird dreams. Lots of people from my past were there (I have no idea where “there” was). It was very crowded. Bill was there, Ronnie, Cousins Lori and Lisa, and some other old long-time family friends.

Well, I guess I’ll call Tammy now.

Later…

Yup, I was right. The credit card people called her. She’s just gonna tell them she’s home for the holidays if they call again. I recommended scaring them with the edits.

Before calling her, I accidentally called my folks. I just hung up. It was Dad who answered and only half a ring, sounding fully awake. Still, I wasn’t gonna say, “Oops. Sorry to call at 6:30 in the morning. I meant to call Tammy. Have a great day!”

I spoke with Lisa for a while, too. She’s playing her sax tonight in a concert and Tammy’s gonna video it and send me a copy. I’d love that!

Later…

Tom’s gonna be getting up any minute now. Wait till I show him the very creative way I put these margins in my paper journal. I put the box of KY Jelly on the center of the book, then traced down the sides. I guess that’s quite an original.

Later…

Andy and I went to the Christown Mall and Tom gave me $20 in case we decided to go out. Boy, that $20 sure went a long way in the mall. I bought a pen, a pair of white sneakers for $2, a journal for $8 and a beautiful pair of black suede shoes with thick high heels for only $5! They’re so easy to walk in too, cuz the heels are so thick and they’re a really popular style now.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 20, 1993 Last night we went shopping. I even got a pair of blue cotton stretch pants for $4.

Tom may be getting up again at 3:00 and that’s a little over a half-hour from now. That’s what he mentioned earlier as he still has more Christmas shopping to do.

So anyway, I typed another 3-page letter with yellow paper to my parents. If their envelope ever gets here, I can write the address down and mail it off. If I don’t get the letter tomorrow, I’ll call Palm City Info and get their address. I typed a 2-page letter to Fran, too. I used different fonts for his letter and my parents. I really enjoy it. I mean, I just love to sit there and type away, one after another.

Yesterday afternoon I did one of those workout videos for 40 minutes. I feel stronger and firmer, yet fat, as in big, chunky. Got a lot of water retention, too. Why couldn’t males get periods? I wish it’d hurry up and start.

Thursday evening Tom and I may go to the zoo to see all the Christmas lights. Several houses on this street have their houses decorated and lit up so nice and pretty.

Gloria was on the Disney channel, but I don’t really feel like I’ve missed out. I hate how she looks lately. I have enough of her on video from when she was looking just fine!

So, what else did I do this last 24-hour period since I last wrote? Well, I did some more knitting. I’m making a bag for Tom’s little pocket-size computer. Well, it’s almost pocket-size.

Yesterday we got some KY jelly. Maybe this will help, but Tom showed me a position that allows me to be more relaxed. Especially on my bed which is so low due to having no frame. I lay on my back with my feet on the floor and it sure is relaxing compared to holding them up. He’s been more physical with me and I’m grateful for that. It’s not too much and not too little. I also really feel and sense he wants to be more physical too, and isn’t doing it just to please me.

Later…

Oops. I just woke poor Tom up to kill two spiders and he wasn’t getting up. I could’ve sworn he said he was getting up at 3:00, but he really meant tomorrow. At least he can go back to bed and he did.

I’ve been sooo damn hungry. I’m gonna get something else to eat.

Later…

I fell asleep at 6 AM and woke up several times. However, this lazy girl didn’t get up till 5:30. I was sooo tired.

The backs of my legs are sore, but tomorrow I’m gonna run through the video again.

Still no mail from my parents and there probably won’t be until next week. That UPS package may not make it here till around the 30th with everything now being so slow. I called Palm City info, then realized I wasted my time. They can’t give zip codes. I left a message on their machine to call me and give me their address, but they didn’t as I figured.

Tammy had left a message that she wanted me to call her in the morning cuz she’s got something to tell me. Nothing important, though. She gave me their address and I’ve got 2 letters, 3 pages each, ready to go out to them.

She couldn’t give me any hints about what she wanted to discuss as Bill was there. The only thing she said was something about the card (I sent a card). Wonder if she’s talking about the credit card folks?

She hasn’t seen or heard from Larry yet, but she sent a Christmas card. I’ll have to get his address so I can send a birthday card to him on 1/15, then one for Lisa on 1/20. I typed 2 letters so far tonight. One to Alex and one to Kim.

Gotta go shut the VCR off and take my pill.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 19, 1993 I learned a few things on the computer all by myself without Tom’s help. First of all, I typed a 3-page letter to my parents. Also, one to Kim, Bob, Alex and Fran. I figured out how to delete old files and I also had no problem inserting colored paper.

Wish I’d hurry up and get my period. My tits hurt! The good news about that is that I’m right before my period and I only weigh 99 pounds.

I got a state form in the mail regarding my SS. Boy, they sure operate differently here and I even called my dad. He and Tom helped me with it.

Still no envelope from Mom and Dad. Love this mail system.

I was rearranging a little and I came across a photo album Andy gave me. It’s great for long-size jumbo prints so that’s what I’ll use it for. Tom and I printed out Christmas pictures for his family. I color them in for him. His mom sent over cookies and they’re really good.

I wonder if Tammy got together with Larry yet. I talked to her a few days ago and I guess she didn’t cuz she never said anything about it.

Got a letter and a card from Kim.

Fran’s gonna be a dad by Sharon. Hope he can deal with it. Maybe it’ll be good for him, who knows?

Tom and I wrapped the packages for Bob and Tammy. They’ll go out next week.

Tom and I are fine and so is the pig. Haven’t talked to Andy, but I’m sure I will.

Later…

I just called Gina for the first time since my birthday. She hasn’t been doing the party line lately as she’s been busy doing other things. She asked if I wanted to hear anything. I said The Lion Sleeps Tonight would do. She was gonna play it right away, but she hasn’t yet.

Andy left a message as he was going to bed at 11:00. He said he was pulling his phone off the hook so I could leave party line messages, but I’m only gonna if there is a party line tonight. When I called, I was the only one and that’s no fun.

Yesterday evening, sure enough, the people across the street had lots of company and played their music. I will thankfully say this, though, they had their music much quieter and it didn’t last long. I thought I’d hear from them tonight, but pleasantly enough, it was dead quiet.

The dog next door’s been much quieter too, thankfully. I think someone bitched them out. Very little noise from kids too, so all’s been pretty peaceful.

Yesterday I fell asleep at 4 AM and was so pissed to wake up at 8:30. At close to 10:00, though, I miraculously fell back asleep till 3 PM. Tom got up at 8 AM yesterday and crashed at 8 PM. He’s gonna get up at 3:00 so we can go food shopping. He also has to get Christmas presents. I hope I’m awake enough cuz I’d really like to get out. We figured 3 AM is a good way to avoid the Christmas shopping crowd.

Later…

Guess Tom will be getting up anytime soon now. I’m psyched for shopping, but I’ll bet he isn’t. I don’t blame him. Then after we shop, he has to go to work from 8 AM - 6:30 PM. The poor guy.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17, 1993 I am watching TV now. I expect any minute now that the people across the street will blast their music till 11 PM just like last weekend. I wouldn’t mind if they blasted country music or dance music, but they blast heavy metal.

No mail from Ma, but I got a letter from Bob. I copied it into #44.

I called Tammy to see if she got the CDs. She hasn’t yet. I got her package ready. I’m sending two dresses I don’t want, some shirts and jewelry. Also 3 of the 5 posters with glow-in-the-dark paint, and 3 hats I used the fabric glue to put each of the girls’ names on.

Tom also gave me the Yahtzee box to use to send Bob’s tapes in. Last night I made two tapes for Fran. They’re of convos and edits. I had a little mailbag to mail them in. There are convos with him talking to Nervous, Sharon, Melissa, Ann, and the crisis center.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 1993 Unsolved Mysteries and Law & Order weren’t on tonight due to some stupid Christmas special, so I didn’t watch too much TV.

Actually, I’m so proud of myself. I made a beautiful shirt from a satin pillowcase, made a matching barrette, and did up the second slipper. My wall hanging, which is to be Tom’s Christmas present’s almost done, too. Next, I’m gonna try to knit a tote bag. That should be easy.

I hope I get the envelope Ma sent me tomorrow. My horoscope says good news by mail from a loved one for tomorrow. It looks pretty good through the 19th and so far, they’ve been fairly accurate.

I got a letter going out to Kim that I typed earlier.

I’ve been playing this neat card game on the computer called Cruel. You have to keep the suits together and go from the ace to the king and hope the computer doesn’t stop you before you finish. It always stops me, but it’s fun anyway.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1993 Today’s certainly a far cry better than last December 15th. I was having a nightmare of an asthma attack a year ago today.

Still no mail for me today, but right now I’m gonna go check Prodigy and type a few letters.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1993 When we got in, there was a message from Larry that he was gonna be in PHX and mentioned stopping in that night or the next day. After I played his message, I noticed that Tom looked upset and I asked what was wrong. He said he was overwhelmed.

Well, so was I, but I really got pissed when he said that he’d have to “pick up the pieces” when the visit was over. That made me feel like a lousy piece of shit. Like I was a burden to him and not worth it. I told him that I could pick up my own pieces if I needed to and that this was something I had to do. Also, if the visit went bad, I would tell him I never wanted to see him again. I said if he loved and understood me, he’d be a good sport and be supportive. I’m sick of his jealous trips. First, he’s jealous of Kim and now my own brother.

I wanted to give my brother the benefit of the doubt and see if he’s changed or not and see if there could be a relationship with no hostility or anger from the past. I also said he isn’t someone I could associate with on a daily basis any more than I could with my parents or Tammy. I want and hope that there’s a way we can have occasional contact, rather than never have anything to do with each other.

Then Larry called at 7 PM that night and he said he was in Las Cruces, New Mexico. He said he may hit PHX in 3 hours. If not, maybe tomorrow at some time but he had to call his company at 8 AM to see if they had to send him to Yuma or wherever.

He asked to talk to Tom for directions and Tom knows much more than I do. Well, this struck a nerve in him and he went to bed. I asked myself, why should I feel guilty about asking the one I love for help? I felt it was easier for him to tell Larry directly than for me to dictate back and forth.

So Larry never came that night which was OK with me cuz I was tired.

I awoke the next morning after only sleeping a few hours. Tom was already up when I went into the kitchen and he wouldn’t say a word to me. Right away I thought, I don’t need this shit and I’m not gonna take it. So I asked if he was planning on being a poor sport all the time and was gonna try to control me and if he was gonna do this when Tammy and my parents come out here.

Well, his main gripe was that we had plans for Saturday which I didn’t even know about. We were to go to a restaurant, but I thought that was next weekend. He also said he was working on the pool and was going Christmas shopping. Well, the pool and the shopping had nothing to do with me, as I couldn’t help him with the pool or his shopping. I don’t know his family or have any idea of what they’d want.

Then he was expressing his concerns about me letting Larry and abusive people into my life. I said that if Larry came off as abusive or I felt in danger in any way, I’d have nothing to do with him and that I don’t let abusive people into my life. I’m not the Jodi I used to be who would just lay down and put up with people’s shit. I know how to say no to bad people or places.

Neither of us ever thought of me moving out, but when he said “the engagement was off, we were over, I was scum treating him like scum,” I was both furious and hurt. And all because my brother visited me. I thought once again about how life’s all about dumping and being dumped. I wondered if he was gonna throw in the towel and say we were through every time we have a problem. It’s easier to call it quits rather than work things out. I asked him how overnight he went from us working through the tough times to let’s call it quits. He was putting false feelings and intentions in my head, jumping the gun and doing things he didn’t like me to do. He said I was abusive to him by canceling our plans and time together. Seeing my brother is not abusing him, I didn’t know we had plans, I don’t like to be abused, and what goes on in my life with family or others doesn’t mean he’s less important.

So later he apologized for saying mean things to me and I told him of course I want to try to see others when he’s working or asleep so we can be together when he’s home. And yes, he’s encouraged me to see others. And yes, I love to spend time with him. The good thing about it was that we settled our problems and talked them through in a few hours, rather than a few days like it used to be. We even made love and that’s another good thing that I’ve been very happy about. He’s been more physical with me.

Today it got even better, as what he said to me was the best thing he’s ever said in making peace with any of our disagreements. It took a very big person to say what he said when he got home from work after I told him my visit went well with Larry. He said he felt so bad cuz he was really wrong yesterday and didn’t handle it well at all. He really said this from the heart and that he wanted to give me more responsibility like I’ve been wanting if I still want him. I told him of course I wanted him and that if I didn’t, I’d say so and get the hell out. He said he knew that I could relate to pressure and that he wanted me to help him from going crazy and making the same mistake and he trusted me to be responsible for making my own judgments when it comes to us. He doesn’t ever want to say mean things and he wants to learn to handle himself better when he’s upset. He doesn’t want any stupid rules and says I can go back to dancing anytime I want. Oh, I knew this cuz nobody tells me what to do and I refuse to live in a controlled place. I am a responsible adult and he’s not gonna play daddy or put out rules, any more than I would. He fully agrees with this. When I mentioned I was afraid he’d come home from work early when Larry was here, he looked sad and said he didn’t ever want me to feel that way cuz I don’t deserve it. I agree. I also agreed with him to not say nasty things when I’m upset, too, as words can hurt like a slap or a punch. I felt so happy with all we talked about before he hit the sack. What we have to work out and get better at is a joke compared to what Andy and I had to work out and get better at as friends so I’m far from worried. I still feel very confident that we’ll be OK and we have so many good days. We began going together in August and the total time that’s been bad is about two weeks of it and I think that’s pretty good compared to most people!

Later…

I’m sooo happy now. The visit went well with Larry as I said before and I do believe he wanted to see me and wasn’t simply out to please mom and dad. I could sense that Larry’s not anxious to see Tammy, but what can I say? In a way, I’m not surprised, as those two were not close ever. He and I were.

In other news, Tom and I are doing great. Naturally, he’s sound asleep now and I may try to knock off soon.

Before I do, let me mention what I did for Bob. It took me many hours, but I didn’t mind. Especially with Tom’s stereo having high-speed dubbing. I made him 19 tapes of convos and edits. He’ll love it and this will really occupy his time. I taped onto tapes of other people, cuz I want to get rid of those and use only blanks if I can. Well, I’ll write more later. Bye for now!

Later…

I had quite a busy, yet productive day today. I dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, washed dishes, washed the shower curtain and last night I changed the pig’s cage. I also went out to the driveway and picked up 3 flyers that had been out there and trashed those.

Only Tom got mail today, but I spoke to dad. No UPS package got sent yet, but it will soon. My guitar and other stuff will be in it. Meanwhile, tomorrow I hope to get an envelope ma sent.

I spoke to dad about their new place which they love. Pictures will soon be sent to me. Can you believe they do not have a camcorder? I’m surprised they don’t.

I told him that Kim, Phil and Alex came and that Kim sent a camera. I also told him all the great things about Tom and dad said, “It’ll work. It’s your time now.”

Can’t wait for him to hurry home so I can show him all I’ve done around here and tell him things.

Last night he was so loving and rubbed my back and made me coffee when I got up after a nap. I could see in his eyes how he still feels bad about last Friday and Saturday. He expressed once again how he felt bad for saying mean things. That’s what really counts. If he couldn’t see his faults or didn’t want to confess to them, then there’d be a problem and I’d probably leave.

Later…

Tom and I just talked for an hour and a half. Now he’s gone to bed.

I have a sprained ankle which is a little sore. We have no ace bandages, so I wrapped it in a towel.

The lady never called back as I asked her to, but she called from a dance studio somewhere about a free trial lesson.

I did some thinking as far as the Ex-Caliber goes, or any other bar. The only moneymaking nights that are worth it are on weekends and no club will let me work less than 4 shifts a week. Sunday - Thursday nights and days aren’t really too much more money and if I did work weekends, I’d hardly see Tom. This would be cruel and unfair to both of us and my spending time with him is as important to me as it is to him. So, we’re gonna check out dance places for disco or modern dance and see if weekly lessons are affordable. This way I can do what I love to do, it won’t be 6-7 hour shifts, I could schedule it so Tom could drive me, he’d have better peace of mind and I wouldn’t have to deal with drunks in loud smoky bars. We’ll see.

Right now, I’m taping a 2-hour movie of the Brady Bunch having a Christmas reunion. After, I’m gonna watch a movie called Single White Female.

Earlier I typed 3 letters. To Kim, Alex and Fran. I also pre-addressed envelopes. I’d like Tom to teach me how to print address labels for those I constantly write to. This way, all I have to do is stick it on, like I do with my address labels. It’ll be neater and easier.

Well, it’s almost showtime, so I’m gonna go make me some popcorn. I must take my meds in an hour.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 12, 1993 A lot has happened in the last few days and now I’ve got the time to get into it.

I am awake and I can’t believe I slept 14 hours. On and off, that is, but I sure needed it. For the last week, I slept only 5-7 hours.

Last Friday Tom and I went to some stores. In the mall’s record store, a woman said something so funny to me. She began to back up into me, then said, “You’re so pretty I thought you were a mannequin.” This is different, and Tom and I were laughing after. I kept asking Tom how it felt to be engaged to a mannequin.

Let me go check the computer to see if I got any mail. Then, I’ll continue.

Later…

No mail.

Now, where was I? Oh, at the mall. There, a pretty Mexican woman gave me a really pretty belt for $10 which is normally $20. I also got 2 free hair accessories that were normally $5 for filling out an application for a credit card I know I won’t get, nor do I want to get it.

I got 3 more fabric glues, so now I have a total of 6. More variety. I had 3 sporty caps that I didn’t want so I put each of my nieces’ names on them and soon I’ll send them.

I got a really pretty red nightie with red satin and chiffon. Next time I go to this store, I’m gonna get a pair of jeans with black lace on the sides of them. I got a gold G-string which will go with a gold top I have for when I go swimming and tanning.

I got 2 journals for a buck each. They’re of shitty quality, but that’s what you get for a buck.

Lastly, unless I’m forgetting anything, I got knitting needles and yarn. I’m making something for Tom, which I’ll explain another time, but get this! I made my very first slipper and the second one’s almost done. Who knows how I figured it out, but I did. Tom was impressed and really liked it.

I have both good and bad news to tell about Tom later, but hopefully the bad won’t be repeated.

Later…

I don’t believe it! I just saw my brother and it went really well. Tom’s to be home any minute now, so I’ll write later.

Later…

I have so much to write about that I’m actually typing this now on the 12th at 8 PM. I will copy it in as soon as I can.

Let me get into the visit with Larry before I back up and fill in the gaps of the last few days. While Tom was at work he came and parked the 18-wheeler alongside W. Weldon. Good thing our house is on the corner, otherwise it would’ve blocked driveways. Yup, that truck was huge.

He came out of the truck and gave me a hug and kiss and then I went up into the truck. What were my emotions? Shock and disbelief. About seeing him, I mean. The cabin of the truck was very nice with a bed, TV, VCR, and a place for food and clothes. Then he came into the house and was really impressed with it. I gave him some water and he asked if it was OK to smoke in the house.

Before he came in, he showed me pictures of Larry and Jennifer. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that Jennifer was a picture of Sandy as a kid.

He also dropped some paperwork and said the word “frickin.” Then I said, “You can say fucking cuz I swear, too.”

So, in the house, we had a good talk and I showed him around. He saw some of my drawings and I showed him The Beat magazine I was in. He asked if he could have it and I intended to give it to him anyway.

I also told him how much happier I was here and that I was staying out of trouble with the law. He said he knew all about that. I knew he did. It was in every newspaper in New England.

The only thing he said about Jenny C was that they were friends and that her parents were sick. I knew they were friends and I told him that both she and I did shit to each other that was wrong but that from now on it’s not worth my getting into trouble with those I don’t like. I just simply try to walk away and ignore them. This is with all the exceptions of any letters I’ve sent to anyone. He said it was good that I haven’t made any calls cuz it’s not worth it and it’s too easy to get caught. I did tell him that I didn’t know it was illegal to record people at first and I told him about the edits. I even played him a few seconds of one of the edited tapes.

He says that when he’s home and he gets the chance he’ll see Tammy. He doesn’t know from one day to the next where he’ll be. He’s in PHX all the time so he understands that if he calls here spontaneously that I may be busy.

He told me about his job and I told him about dancing and my hobbies. That I was still pretty much into music and art.

He told me that he was in Florida making a delivery and looking up a number in the phonebook when he came across Mom and Dad’s number. That’s when he decided it was time to mend his ways.

Uncle Marty had a heart attack and he says he feels bad cuz he and Dad are living on borrowed time. He’s come to realize you only have one family. Yup, you can choose your friends, but not your family. Can’t say I feel much for Marty, though.

I’m sure he was shocked at how thin I am now (back to 99), and how long my hair is. I thought his hair would be grayer and that he’d be much heavier, but he’s only big in the gut.

During the visit, he called Mom and Dad with his credit card and we even had a good talk. I said hello when he handed me the phone and my dad said, “Hi shorty.” He said they were shipping out my other guitar and Ma said to look for an envelope and some other stuff.

He was here for about 45 minutes, as I didn’t want Tom to come home to surprise company after working 10 hours and being beat. Tom’s a whole different story that has the best ending ever to any of our disagreements, but I will get into this later.

Now, let me back up and cover what’s been going on with Tom and I. Last Friday after we came back from all the shopping, Tom was bummed cuz the pool is still fucked up and it’s gonna cost money to fix it.

I also got a call from the GYN who now needs to reschedule me for January 6th. So it was a hectic day for both of us and Tom really hates his job.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 9, 1993 Last night was lots of fun. Tom came home in a super good mood, knowing he’ll be off for 3 days. We talked and ate some B-Day cake.

I felt kind of tight yesterday, as there was a big smog alert and lots of carbon monoxide in the air due to all the Christmas shoppers.

Later…

Tom’s going out very soon to the horse races. I feel he’ll win $40, but we’ll just have to wait and see. I hope he has a good time anyway.

An hour or two after Tom got home last night, we went to Hollywood Videos to get The Guardian video. The bad thing about it is that there’s a red line across the top of it. It’s a copy guard I guess, but it’s OK cuz I can still see what I need to see. They also cut a scene I liked that was on TV. But, they replaced it with some pretty explicit stuff.

Later…

I had to stop writing earlier to go and do something. Tom’s out now at the races. Hope he wins something. It is beautiful out now. I have both the front and back doors open now. Got the fan running through to air out the smoke.

Anyway, as I was saying about the video, she has nice tits and a nice body. Not too thin, not too heavy. There were two pictures of her on the back of the video box. One was only so-so. The other was much nicer, but kind of bright.

Now, why some guy’s standing out in the middle of the street with a basket beats the living shit out of me. Oh well.

Still no mail from Bob or anyone. Who knows what, if anything, is going on? I hope he’s OK, but he has two more stamps and two more address labels I sent him, so we’ll see.

I’m listening to an old Juice Newton tape I got into when I was about 13 or 14.

Andy may call later. Actually, he definitely will cuz he’s gonna need his work pants. On the other hand, Tom and I may be going out later.

Well, here’s the school bus, and the man with the big basket put two little kids in it.

Later…

I have so much to update on. Lots of stuff has happened. I’m super tired now as I’ve been through a lot with very little sleep. Therefore, I shall write tomorrow. What I will do for now, though, is copy in Bob’s letter in #44. Yesterday I got a letter from Alex and Bob, but I already copied in Alex’s.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8, 1993 Last night I did the 4 remaining posters. They don’t look too pretty in the light, but they do glow in the dark. One’s in Tom’s room, one’s in mine, the living room, kitchen, and the back room.

Damn! I turned the heat down on the thermostat but it’s still soaring away. I opened the front door for a while.

Tom wasn’t able to get the video yesterday, cuz there are two movies called The Guardian. The guy at the store got confused cuz neither he or Tom knew this.

Bob better send a letter today. Why haven’t I heard from him? I hope Kim and Alex send letters too.

Anyway, I fell asleep last night at midnight. I heard Gina was on last night. Guess Magic got sick. I got up at 7:30. Tom’s been up since 4:00 and is at work now.

My video will be available today, I guess.

Chanukah’s at sundown tonight. I wonder if my parents will call.

Today I typed Scott a letter. I figured it was time. Did a bunch of weird stuff with different fonts.

I talked to Andy who lost $90 in Vegas. He had fun, though. I sewed his pant pocket and he’s to be coming over here later.

Later…

No mail for me at all today. Only for Tom.

At 2:15 I have to call my doctor’s office. They haven’t mailed me my second referral yet. Well, if for whatever reason I don’t get to my appointment on the 16th, then I’ll take it that I wasn’t meant to get to it, know I’m OK, and forget it.

I’m soooooo bored right now. I wish Andy could come over now, but I’m sure he’s watching his favorite soaps.

I tried to call Nervous and I was gonna tape it, but there was no answer. He’s probably still working at Feinstein’s Leather. He tells me Crystal’s still living there. Amazing.

Well, the Brady Bunch is coming on now, so that’s what I’ll watch. I’ll write more after.

Later…

Well, it sure is quite overcast out there today.

I’m sitting here watching a talk show now, waiting for Andy’s call.

Earlier I was playing Nintendo and doing dishes. Well, trying to. The sink is still pretty backed up. I tried to drain it by filling up a big metal bowl with water from the sink, then I dumped it outside.

I just ate some Kiwi and I’m watching The Maury Povich Show, then Donoghue comes on at 4:00. This episode deals with those with amnesia and multiple personalities. Don’t know what the topic is on Donoghue cuz it’s not listed.

I really hope Andy doesn’t take forever with coming over. You know how he is - always late.

Christina just called collect, but of course I refused it as Tom’s not home. She’s his jealous friend’s (Geri’s) daughter.

Well, Donoghue’s about legalizing prostitutes. Boring.

Think I’ll call Andy and see if he’s anywhere near coming over. If not, I’ll call Nervous cuz I’m so fucking goddamn bored. I may write later.

Later…

Now I’m really pissed and frustrated! No answer from Andy and none from Nervous, but I just tried paging Fran, so we shall see. I gotta be really bored to go and page Fran. Oh, there are things I could do - I just don’t feel like them, though.

Later…

Well, there is good news after all. I just called my doctor’s office cuz I haven’t gotten my referral yet. It’s been updated till the 29th at the crotch doctor’s office. She said just go ahead and go to the appointment. Like I’m really looking forward to this. Aaaaaaargh!

There’s a movie coming on at 5:00. Should I see it? We’ll see, but first I wanna see some food. I’m hungry!

Later…

Fuck! No! I’m still up to 103 pounds. Shit. I gotta stop eating for a few days. Gotta drink tons of water. I just fried some hash browns and ate that so now I’ll take it easy.

I called Andy and he said he had just gotten done cleaning his bathroom and was tired. He may come over tomorrow night and he says he has clean work pants.

I definitely gotta clean our bathroom. Tom always said he’d do it as I hate to, but I feel bad asking him to. He works hard enough and I’m the one with the time to do stuff like this along with many other things here.

I’m taping a movie that’s on now till 7:00. Then I’ll tape the Billboard Awards that’s on from 7:00-9:00. Lastly, I’ll tape Law & Order. That’s on from 9:00-10:00.

Right now, I’m listening to the one and only famous Rick and Nervous fight. It’s just as funny as the first time I ever heard it.

Tom will be home in about an hour. Wonder if he was able to get the video.

Well, for now, I think I’ll go see if Nervous will answer his goddamn phone.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1993 Another day of getting all junk mail, magazines, or bills. Something must be up with Bob, but I hope not. Yesterday Tammy’s CDs came. I just mailed them out to her. Tom mailed a check for $1.86 to the same club. I hope there’s no problem. If there is, we can do one of two things. Tell them we never got Tammy’s CDs, as they can’t prove we did. They weren’t sent by certified mail. If that doesn’t work, there’s another club.

I spoke to her earlier to tell her I was mailing them to her and to see if she got my Chanukah card and check. She did. I wasn’t sure, as the mail system’s slower now due to the holidays. Chanukah starts tomorrow night at sundown.

Remember how I said Tom ordered something for me in the mail? Well, I got it. It was an adorable two-year planner, calendar/address book/notepad with a teddy bear cover. I put the notepad and address book away for now for future use, but the calendar is on the refrigerator. I also cut out the part with the teddy bears and glued them on the back cover of the next journal.

Tom’s picking me up The Guardian video today. Great - I’m looking forward to it.

Well, I’m gonna go see a movie I taped.

Later…

I typed 5 letters today. To Tammy, Fran, Kim, Bob and Alex. I had the front and back doors open to air the place out. The phone rang at one point with some guy doing a radio survey when there was a knock on the front door. I knew right away it was Tom’s brother David from having seen pictures of him. He came to check out the pool. I was somewhat embarrassed as I was wearing a workout outfit. Now he can see his brother’s lover is all hair, eyes, belly, and legs. Oh well. Although, my measurements have gone down an inch while my weight has gone up to 103.

I surprised Tom by making him two sandwiches for when he comes home. Guess I could use some food myself now.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1993 I fell asleep yesterday afternoon at 4:30 after taking two Pre-Sym pills, as I was so bloated. That shit knocked me on my ass. I awoke to the phone ringing at 6:30, then Andy arrived at 7:30 shortly after Tom did. I was too tired to go to Tower Records with him, so we’re gonna go next week. He brought back my Bonnie Raitt CD and the pants with the torn pocket I’m gonna sew. The 3 of us sat and chatted for a while and he left at 8:30.

I watched some TV, then fell asleep at 10:00 along with Tom. I got up at 4:15. I am still a bit tired.

When Tom got up this morning, he printed out The Guardian movie guide. Not only does it have a write-up about the movie, but it also has the cast, sound effects person, director, copyright, etc.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1993 Oh, my fucking God! I just don’t believe it! Larry just called me. I was so caught off guard. I didn’t know what to say. He wished me a happy birthday. He drives a tractor-trailer and is constantly in Phoenix and California. He’s been to the clubs I’ve danced at. He said Dad told him, but he didn’t think ma knew.

Ha! She knew.

His son Larry is 13 and Jennifer is 10.

I simply told him all’s been great since I got here and got my life together. He said he did not want to get involved in any family problems, he has his own family and life.

I said that is fine, but to remember how me and Tammy went through the same shit he did.

He said he only called Tammy to make mom and dad happy. I said, “Don’t you think that’s deceiving?” Then, he said he didn’t mind calling her, he just doesn’t want to get in the middle of things. Fine, but now I wonder… did he really want to call me? Or was it just to make mom and dad happy?

Well, I have very mixed emotions about meeting with him. A part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, and the other part’s curious. Tammy did bring up a point. She said how we both know how much I’ve changed, therefore, what’s to say he hasn’t changed too? Oh, I just don’t know what to make of all this right now. Tammy mentioned being hopeful that there could be a way to get along without the anger of the past getting in the way. Well, here’s where I stand on that one - I’m a firm believer in letting dead dogs lay. I try not to hold grudges, but this guy abandoned me. Me, who also went through the same abuse. I was young and naïve, but he couldn’t stand by me. He took his anger on mom and dad out on me. There was no emotion at all in his voice. How do I know he’ll take me for face value and not judge me by my past? I’m not about to explain or defend myself to him or anyone. Maybe we will have to meet face-to-face to decide if I want to associate with him or not. All Tammy told him was I became a very happy, stable person here and engaged to be married in a year. Well, I don’t even want to think about him now.

After a cigarette, I’ll write about my other beautiful caller, then get on with all the many good things going on.

Later…

This day still’s getting weirder and weirder. I just spoke to my mother and believe it or not that went pretty well. They moved to Palm City and they have a 2-bedroom condo. She’s working in an office on computers as a secretary. She said something about dad taking care of some storage thing. He’d just gone out when I called. She left a message yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, so I figured I’d get it over with and call, as she’ll only call again here. I told her I was not dancing now, but was working on the computer and was engaged to be married in a year. She said she was very very happy for me. I also told her a little about Tom and all he did for me yesterday, which I’ll soon get into. I said I’d send pictures of the house and she could send pictures of the new condo. Lastly, I told her of my very mixed emotions regarding Larry.

Later…

Well, now I shall update the 3rd and 4th. Tom was gonna fire up the Jacuzzi but the filter’s broken. It’ll soon be fixed, though.

On Tuesday he’s picking me up the video of The Guardian. Eventually, we’ll also rent Local Hero. If I like how she looks in it, I’ll buy it.

Let’s just say I made out yesterday really well.

Andy called me on midnight the 4th and sang me a happy birthday. Today he may be over at 6 PM. He’s getting me a CD and I need to sew another pocket for him.

On the 6th & 7th, he’s going to Laughlin with Velma.

After I spoke to him, I called Gina at 12:30 AM on the 4th. She wished me happy birthday live on-air and played the song, They Say It’s Your Birthday. Stan was on again too, and I left Andy a few messages. She got the letter and my picture and thanked me for sending it. She also used the promo tape of me, Stan and Tammy last Tuesday from 9 AM-noon. That’s cool.

One more thing I forgot to mention about mom - she’s sending me a package and their new address will be on it.

Later…

I just spoke to Nervous for a few minutes.

Now let me finally get into all I did and got yesterday. I got up at 11:30 PM on the 3rd. I fell asleep again at 6 AM till I heard Tom open the cake at 8:30. He got a nice chocolate cake that said, “Happy Birthday, Jodi.” There were two candles, unlike anything I’d ever seen before. They were two tall, skinny candles. A pink one and a purple one. He said the reason why there were two was cuz there are two of us. How sweet.

I gave him his Chanukah card and he gave me a birthday card. What it says really hits the nail on the head. Here’s what it says: We share a very special kind of love because we share so many other things, too – happy memories, precious dreams, little everyday discoveries, private jokes that no one else would understand. We even think alike in a lot of ways, but not about everything….just enough to make life interesting. It’s no wonder I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.

Tammy called too, and said she didn’t send anything cuz she’s sending a family portrait. Believe me, I want this more than a check. This way I can put it in the living room, or somewhere here and bring them closer to me.

This is when I told Tammy about Tom and I and she congratulated me and said she was happy for me. She also asked how old he was cuz she always wanted an older brother. They’re the same age, but Tom’s almost two months older. Good enough.

Enclosed in my birthday card were the stickers in this book. They’re also on the covers of the previous and next journals.

Tom took me to Red Lobster where I got a combo of shrimp, lobster and crab legs. It was great and he got steak.

I then went to withdraw $20 and we went to Target’s department store. I bought a journal with a little girl on it. A real one, not a drawing. I got a white satin G-string and a purple one, too. Got 4 overcolor markers and 4 undercolor markers. I used them a few pages back, as well as on the back cover of this book for the entry dates. Lastly, I got 5 neon-colored poster boards to paint on with neon paint that glows in the dark.

It is absolutely beautiful out now, but I wish I could go swimming!

Well, guess I’ll lie down for a while till I hear from Andy.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1993 Well, I’m 28 now.

We left early to do a humongous shopping order. It came to around $127. I also got 3 Chanukah cards. One for Tammy and Andy that I wrote with my calligraphy markers. I sent Tammy a check for 20. I have yet to do up Tom’s card. I will real soon after I get caught up in here. Now’s a good time to do Tom’s card as he’s asleep.

Later…

I just quickly did Tom’s Chanukah card. His first-ever, I’m sure.

Yesterday at the store I won a 25¢ little teddy bear. It’s one of those games where you try to grab it with this claw-like thing, and I got it. Then, I tried 3 more times, but my luck had run out.

Let’s see… what else did we get? Oh, a red light bulb that is on in the hall now. It’s neat.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1993 I got two letters from Kim today and in each one, she enclosed a letter she’d gotten from Bob. Tomorrow, I feel a Bob letter coming.

I put one of Bob’s letters in a no-postage-necessary envelope and the other one I still have. The two letters from Kim are on their way to Fran. I typed Bob and Fran both a letter tonight.

I did the dishes and now the fucking sink is all backed up.

I slept yesterday from 2 PM - 9 PM and Tom was to fire up the spa for last night. Well, that was out of the question as it turns out that the filter, or something like that, is broken. Great. So now he isn’t sure we can get the dishwasher cuz this may be an expensive repair. He says he’ll look at it more closely in the daylight.

I taped and watched Amityville 1992: It’s About Time. It was really nothing spectacular at all.

Andy left a message all bummed out about taking a really hard test, but now not even sure there’ll be an opening for him at AT&T. They are laying off people.

He also said that midnight was my birthday. Hee, hee. He’ll never remember it’s the 4th.

Either later this morning or tonight, Tom and I will go food shopping.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but Beauty’s definitely pregnant. Tom had a dream too, that he walked in one day and there were babies. I’ll either see if Tom knows anyone who’ll want the babies, or trade them in for store credit at the pet store. You can do this where I got her.

Next door’s dog had been much much quieter lately. I figured someone either killed it, or someone really complained. I knew my luck would run out, as I heard it at 4 AM yesterday for an hour. I had to listen to the radio for an hour which I wasn’t in the mood for, but it beat listening to that damn dog. The fucker sounds like it’s two feet outside my window. I’ve heard no kids, though, thankfully. The last time next door was noisy was when they were moving in.

God sent me a new thing that goes on 3-4 days a week for about 3 weeks now and I swear it feels as if I’m in apartments. The house across the street has a band and a really kick-ass stereo. I’m surprised no one’s complained, but I don’t know if anyone has. Especially the pig across the street two houses away. The bass and drums are sooo annoying. Especially when I’m trying to watch TV or just enjoy total peace and quiet. When I got up last night, Tom was on his way to bed and he said, “I’m surprised they didn’t wake you up across the street. They’ve been blasting their music all night long.” I slept with my music on cuz I figured I’d be woken up by that or a dog.

Later…

I just got done relabeling the outside boxes of my tapes. Remember how Tom gave me these silver foil labels? Well, they’re great for numbering tapes, but not their boxes, as it’s a little hard to see. He brought a few neon orange-colored labels from work and I used those for numbering the boxes. They’re much easier to read.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1993 Yesterday I fell asleep at noon and I got up around 8:30. I got no mail, but there was a message from Andy. He wanted me to let him know if I wanted the Christmas Through Your Eyes CD by Gloria. I left him a message not to get that or Mi Tierra by her as I’ll get it through the record club (I hope). I named some old albums of Linda’s he may want to get on CD. Speaking of Linda, guess she got a new album out now in English. She previously released another Spanish album I have yet to get. There are tons of CDs I want. She’s also on The Jay Leno Show tonight which I taped. I haven’t seen it yet, but I saw a quick clip on a commercial, and oh my God! She’s gotten so fat, her hair looks pitiful and she’s really aging. How sad. The poor woman was once so drop-dead beautiful.

I also taped Unsolved Mysteries, Now, Law & Order and Tales of the Crypt on HBO.

I typed Kim a letter and who knows what I’m gonna do now? When Tom gets up, which I don’t think will be for several hours, I’ll have to have him put my clothes out in the dryer. I don’t have a key for this door, and I hate that room. It’s sort of a part of the garage. Who knows what spiders may be in there?

Also, I blasted the fan and opened the doors when he left for work to air the place out. I think I blew out the pilot light on the living room wall heater. It’s freezing in there!

I also finally got around to sending Tammy a message. I told her all about the pig and our “tentative” date to get married.

That’s all for now. I guess I will go see the shows I taped.

Later…

I just had to wake Tom up a few minutes ago to relight the pilot light on the wall heater. It was absolutely freezing in here.

At 10:00 he’s taking his parents to the racetrack. Instead of him taking them there every Saturday, he will be taking them every Thursday due to his schedule changing.

Later…

If Andy can find the Lush Life CD, that’d be nice cuz I sing most of the songs on that album. I still haven’t seen Linda yet on Jay Leno, but I will when I’m more awake. I’m starting to get pretty tired.

I hope I get a letter from Bob today. I love getting letters from him and anyone else who writes me.

I asked Kim to let me know in her next letter to me if she’s had any developments in being able to get my tapes back that the fucking pigs took. You know, I’ve lost all respect for cops and pretty much most people of authority. Yes, there are some good cops, but you hear story after story of those whose badges have gone to their heads and are on a big power kick. It’s just like at Brattleboro, Valleyhead, and most places like that. A few care and play it fair, but very few. Most are on power-play at high speed. I never want another cop friend again. I’d never have a one-nighter with a Lisa S or a Laurie H if it were possible either.

Later…

Tom just went out to get us breakfast from Jack-n-the-Box. I’m so hungry. I’m up to 101 pounds, too, and probably more like 105 on an accurate scale. Oh well.

Tom’s been really good at predicting my mail for me. He feels one letter, probably from Bob.

So anyway, when I wake up, if he’s up too, we’re gonna go out to the grocery store. I still have to get Chanukah cards. We also need a few things around here like milk and some TV dinners as well as munchies. You know me and my popcorn.

Tom already got his first Christmas card yesterday from his brother that lived here and his wife. They sent wedding pictures, too. I’m gonna be getting 3 Chanukah cards, as I mentioned before. One for Tammy and the girls, Andy, and Tom.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1993 I was so sure I’d begin this paper journal before the 1st, but I ended up getting sick. I had already dated it for Nov. 30th, so I covered it up with an address label. I fell asleep yesterday at noon and I woke up wheezing my ass off at 6:30. My attack lasted nearly two hours. I’m fine now, but very tired. I did fall back asleep from 10 PM - 12:30 AM, but I’m not trying to go to sleep right now. That gets boring and frustrating. Tom was a big help when I was wheezing. He made me coffee and rubbed my back.

Andy left a funny message. He forgot if my birthday was on the 1st or the 3rd and to call him and let him know which one it is and what I wanted to do. I called to let him know it was the 4th and that Tom was gonna heat up the Jacuzzi.

Later…

I can’t sleep so I figured I’d write some more for now.

Tom should be getting up at 6:00. After he takes a shower, I’ll take one. I certainly could use one and my hair is a mess.

What will I do today? I haven’t a clue. Perhaps some serious letter writing. I still have to send a message to Tammy. I got no mail yesterday which is odd. Hopefully, I’ll get a letter from Bob today and maybe one from Kim and Alex, too. Tom wrote almost halfway into this book. It’s amazing how much his handwriting looks like Bob’s.

Later…

Tom’s up making those disgusting chomping and slurping sounds while he eats his sandwiches. In an hour he’ll be off to work and I’m gonna open up the doors and air the place out. He’s got a cold, but I was gonna air it out anyway. Cigarette smoke’s been building up in here now that the EC has been off.

I took a bath about an hour ago and I feel a bit better. Still tired and tight in the chest, though. To feel better, and also cuz I get sick of looking like a geek, I put on makeup and did my hair.

Later…

I am watching Little House on the Prairie now and next is Charlie’s Angels, then Geraldo.

Tom left at 7:30 and for about 45 minutes I played with Beauty.

I’m looking forward to getting a video of The Guardian. I’m hopeful that there’ll be a nice picture of her on the video box. I’d also like to try to hunt down the other movie she did in 1983. The one called Local Hero. I wonder how she looked back then.

In this episode of Charlie’s Angels, a Las Vegas dancer gets killed. Kelly (Jaclyn Smith) goes and dances in a chorus line to catch the killer. Kate’s always been my favorite angel. I used to have a huge crush on her. Damn! The clothes back then were absolutely pitiful.

Oh, fuck! Kate Jackson’s not in this one. Some other girl is on with Cheryl Ladd and Jaclyn. Not that disgusting Shelley Hack, though, thankfully. I like Farrah better than Cheryl, too.

Well, it’s only 52º now. Kind of chilly.

Geraldo’s going on now but during commercials, I’m gonna log onto Prodigy to see if I got any mail.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

3.1.24 Friday

1:01 am

I still have windblow... i feel bad.. I feel bad on something... I feel bitterish...

1:31 am

I wanna leave this town... I feel hurt, 17 years too much of trapping for nothing...

8:12 am

Uncle DD is here brought a food to cook. I will just get a 1k for me to use it to apply again coz I used my money here to buy food from the past days...

The gasul is really shouldered by me... But I don't like them he and Aunt Karen coz they are not really sensitive on my beauty needs if I don't have money. I asked other people for my facial wash... Even Uncle Jun is not sensitive...

9:03 am

Uncle DD is here and Chian awhileI don't like them... Asking for my picture and all my ID's pictures are missing... I really wanna cry...

Get out of my hair please!!!!

I didn't give any pictures yet... It should be here on my table...But it's gone... I don't have big money, if they will take any stuff here.. I really wanna cry...

Get of my hair please! I will cry!!!

Chian and Me we are not that close...I don't like them, she is closer on Uncle DD. I don't like them... Did chian get my picture now? Those are my old and only copies... They are all getting my memories...

I feel agitated....Family is a family supposed to be...But they are on George's family even that Uno,I don't like them...

Get out of my hair for 1 7 years,since 2007...

9:45 am

I know I put my evolution of ID pictures there at the table... It is my memories... It sadden me so much if someone took it as well as the red heart cup of John is missing...

My stuff I just bought my alarm clock and my pimple facial wash all are there, I bought it using my salary money in Conduent....If someone will take my pimple medicine, I will really cry coz I don't have money to buy again... I'm out of fundings....

Will bound to Amazon now....I'm in the Bus now...I feel agitated...

I really feel agitated, good luck on my interview and exams...

9:51 am

I wanna be Manila girl, hoping I can get a consistent job... This windblow is taking my lives as well for nothing since 2007...I feel so frustrated and hopeless... I didn't expect my aging will be like this... Plus, Mitch if she gave me that "simple battery"? Why, does she needs to hide and distance if someone is not guilty at all... Or did she do a game plan for her???

12:08 noon

Done on Amazon....Now, eating my lunchie somewhere and I'm having headache due to heat outside and cold inside the mall...

Off to Teleperformance after lunch and will buy advil for my headache.

I saw a "Porsche" awhile ago,I wasn't able to wave... I forgot to bring "handkerchief", I only have tissue here...HaHaHa...

3:33 pm

Hmmm Going home.... Hmm...Where are my pictures....I feel bitter...

Uncle DD is strange... They are becoming famous and successful and I hate them with George's family... I feel jealous even to Chian...

I still have windblow.... I will just wait for the call coming from Eperformax and Amazon their process is on-line virtual... I didn't push through to Teleperformance coz the application process is on LRT or MRT Metro Point...

I also went to "Entain Manila" at Double Dragon Tower 3 but they told me they need people who have 6 months experience... I feel hurt, I asked how can I earn those months if they will not take me in? The lady said it is their requirement. I said Thank You but it sadden me so much...

I feel bitter coz of this call center... I need a job and money...

4:58 pm

I got my bugs spray for human skin.... Yehey! I will be protected by these...

Plus, I'm in the house now angels...

Bought some drinks from "Mugs and Plates" there outside our gate of South Garden just turn left after the Muslim School. Walking distance from the South Garden Gate.

I got French Vanilla for me and Mango Grayhams for nana...

Open from 11 am until 12 midnight angels...

7:08 pm

This Uncle DD is commenting negatively on the electric bill,this Uncle Jun is asking 200 pesoses from Uncle DD for him to lift up Uncle DD.... It is like donation on him...

This Uncle Jun doesn't likè me in a way...

The issue now Uncle DD is reacting negatively on our electric bill coz he is handling the fundings... He said it is high now... I said it is more expensive if nana will get sick and needs to be confined in a hospital.

We need money...I need money... I need a job... I don't know what to do...

7:55 pm

Still, my evolution of picture are gone... Someone took it... I can't trust Uncle DD or anyone in the family. The red heart cup of John is missing...

8:09 pm

It is here potang inah... Who put my evolution of face under the sofa???

Application/Resume pictures are all under the sofa...

But the red heart cup and syrup of John is still, missing...

9:18 pm

I need a month or 2 before actually passing my application on Amazon, it is hellish angels...

[lepusrufus]

Going off of previous nonnie, a graphic demonstration of Cassie's muscles? For poor little Nicole's eyes only... And the crackhead audience behind the screen. We The world would greatly benefit from it...

Sluts (affectionately)

[brooooswriting]

id like to request some cute cute fluff with wanda x reader wanda is like shy and gets nervous and blushes a lot around reader and thinks reader is so sweet and cute, reader is in love with wanda and does everything she can to show wanda what she truly deserves, does sweet things like make her favorite food or buys things that she mentions showing she listens to wanda, compliments her and then they confess their feelings and get together need some wanda cuteness please

Flirt

You were always a flirt and things haven’t really changed. The whole team was used to it, especially Natasha but it’s always been platonic and jokingly.

Which is the reason why the team was shocked when you suddenly stopped flirting. Until they saw you sitting closely on the couch with your hand on her thigh and her face as read as Natasha’s hair.

Tony walked in cheering out a “go get it y/n” causing the brunette to run out of the room with an even redder face. “Thanks Tony” you grumbled out as you stood up to walk into the kitchen. “What?” The billionaire was clearly offended and did not see any harm in what he did. “I was joking”. You grumbled again. “Yeah, it was real funny man. It took long enough to get close to her” you told him while getting a glass of water. “Aww, did Tony ruin your flirting?” Sam asked as he walked into the kitchen. You mumbled out an ‘fuck you’ before leaving to go look for Wanda.

Since the girl became part of the team it was hard to reach her but you tried nonetheless and you’ve been coming closer. “Y/l/n, where you going?” Natasha asked you as she walked trough the hall. “Looking for Wanda, any chance you’ve seen her?” You asked but she shook her head. “You two are getting close huh?” She grinned while you blushed.

So you walked to the witches room and lightly knocked. “Hey beautiful” you said as she opened the door. Her face immediately turned red and you couldn’t help but admire her. She was always beautiful but there was something about her when she was so shy that made your heart beat faster. “What are you doing here?” She asked and opened the door wider so you could step in. “I thought, if you wanted to, we could go and get something to eat?”

Two hours later the two of you were walking back to the compound while she told you stories about her and Pietro when they were younger. This was the first time she’s talked about him since his death and you were more than happy to be the person she opened up to. “I’m so sorry you went through that but I’m so unbelievably happy that I have you and that you know that you can open up to me” you told her and kissed her cheek. Tears welled up in her eyes making you worried but she immediately soothed it when she hugged you. She was never the one to initiate anything as she usually was to shy but right now she needed the comfort only you could give her.

The next day Wanda was Ill and decided to stay alone in her room. Until 11 am at least as you opened the door with freshly cooked paprikash and tea in hand. “What are you doing here?” She asked as you walked into her room. “I didn’t want you to be alone while being sick and I wanted you to eat something so I made paprikash” you explained and hugged her when you put down the food. “Nooo, you’ll get sick” she whined but you shook your head, “we all need comfort when we’re sick so I’ll not be leaving you alone. Wanna watch some sitcoms?” She immediately nodded and you both went into the bed.

After three hours you fell asleep cuddled into each other. “Jarvis, where’s Y/n?” Natasha was supposed to train with you 20 minutes ago. “Ms. Y/l/n appears ti be in ms. Maximoffs room” the Al answered making Natasha sigh and walk to Wanda’s room.

She lightly knocked on the door before opening in to find the both of you cuddled into each other. ‘Damn it y/n’ she mumbled before closing the door again.

You woke up around 6 pm with Wanda on top of you and you stroked her back until she woke up. “Good morning sleepyhead” you mumbled while she just grumbled and tried to cuddle further into you.

“I’ll go get some things and then I’ll come back alright?” Wanda nodded and you kissed her forehead before walking out of the room. You did get far before Natasha pulled you into another room making you shriek. “Nat, what the hell?” You asked shocked. “You should finally ask her out man!” She hit your shoulder while you blushed. “What if she doesn’t like me like that?” You asked concerned. “Are you being real right now?! I just saw her asleep on top of you and you two are basically always eye fucking so just do it or I will ask her out myself” you immediately raged with jealousy and walked out of the room slamming the door.

Deep down you knew Nat was joking but still. So you got all of Wanda’s favorite snacks and drinks before walking back to her room. As soon as your back hits the bed Wanda was cuddled back into you. “Here” you said as you showed her all the stuff you got her and gave her a box of tissues. “Thank you” she mumbled into a tissue. “No problem princess” she blushed and hid her face in your shoulder.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to go to the fair next week? I remember that you told me that you always wanted to go when you were small and I’d like to take you as a date” Wanda immediately agreed.

The next week you took her to the fair and her face lit up like the ones from a child. “So what do you wanna do first?” You asked and she told you about all the things she wanted to do. You went onto all the rides and ate way too much food. “Uhh, I want the teddy bear” she said exited. It was a teddy that was just as tall as you were. “Fine” you said and gave the man at the booth a couple of dollars before throwing the ball and knocking down all the cans. “Here” you grinned as you gave her the teddy that she could barely carry.

You put the teddy in the car before lightly pressing Wanda against the car and kissing her softly. “You look beautiful my love” you whispered against her which made her giggle. “Thank you, for everything. No one has ever treated me like this” she said before kissing you again. “You deserve the world and more princess” you opened the door for her to get in and closed it afterwards.

I hope you like it and that you have a great day :)

[summercourtship]

Hiya! I read your recent Pinhead one-shot and adored it, your writing is so good. Can I request a Ghostface NSFW one-shot where he call’s his next victim but she happens to be masturbating? And they end up having phone sex. I would really appreciate it and if you do please let me know if you take payment or even if I can give you a tip! <3

Oh my gosh thank you so much! I actually gasped when I read this request, I fucking love this idea I hope I did it justice lol. I still get kinda insecure when writing smut even though I've read some not-so-great erotica and still be turned on by it so does it matter? Either way, practice is practice haha.

delicious (nsfw, 18+)

danny johnson x reader | warnings: phone sex, dirty talk, degradation, | note: the title comes from the charli xcx song, somehow not a tswift song for once! | word count: 1.8k

Perhaps your mother had been right in not allowing you to have a phone in your bedroom growing up.

But perhaps it was that very same denial that made you determined to have one in your room when you lived on your own, living out a childhood dream of being able to chat to friends on your own phone in your own room. Not that it got much use, with you rarely being home enough to answer calls and it being even rarer for your friends to even bother calling.

The phone became more like a bedside decoration than serving any real functional purpose in your life, except for when you wanted to call in sick to work or order takeout from the comfort of your own bed. You forgot, it seemed, that phones could actually be kind of a nuisance.

It had been a slow week of long hours at your work, and every class you took seemed to have major assignments due within the past three days. You could’ve cried from relief when you finally got home and had the freedom of the weekend in front of you. You didn’t envy the students pouring their way into parties and bars, though you might have felt a twinge of nostalgia for when you were one of them.

But just because you weren’t going out didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the rest of your night and have some fun with yourself. Once you were out of your work clothes and into your chosen sleepwear for the night (which was simply a big t-shirt), you plopped onto your bed, all the stress and tension leaving your body as soon as you hit the soft surface.

You roll over onto your back, lazily running your hand down your body. You don’t waste time messing with your chest, instead moving directly to your underwear, slipping your hand inside. There was no need to tease yourself, after all.

You had just begun to slowly circle your clit, feeling a bit more sensitive than usual, when the phone started ringing.

Your eyes snapped open, hand still in your underwear. At first, you barely recognized the sound of it, only knowing that the piercing tones had interrupted your alone time. But once your tired and horny brain fog cleared- if just slightly- you glared over at your bedside table.

From where you were laying, you could see the caller ID display, though it only provided you with “UNKNOWN CALLER” on the tiny green screen. You shifted your gaze slightly to your alarm clock, which dimly displayed 11:37 PM. That’s a bit late for a salesperson to call, and your friends would have been announced through the ID display, had they decided to call this late.

Ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach and the nagging itching in the back of your brain to remember something you saw in passing on a newspaper at the store, you waited for the phone’s ringing to end.

Settling back in, you slowly get back into the proper headspace for touching yourself, resuming your slow movements. You wanted to both take it slow tonight and really enjoy it, and seek your pleasure as fast as possible, needing the release it promised after the week you’ve had.

As a compromise between the two desires, you started to pick up the pace, feeling yourself get slightly wetter from your touch.

The phone rings again.

You curse, this time sitting up and snatching the phone off the hook, but not before seeing that this, too, was from an unknown caller (likely the same one from before, you thought in the back of your mind).

“What?” Normally you would never answer the phone this way, but it was way past decent calling times, and you were fucking tired.

But in response, there was nothing. You were starting to wonder if you had somehow not picked up the phone in time for the call to go through when you realized you could faintly hear someone breathing on the other end.

Great.

One of these calls.

You were hardly ever in the mood to deal with prank calls, let alone when you were just trying to destress after a long, exhausting week. You just wanted a fucking break.

“Listen, asshole-”

“I can see you.”

You manage to catch yourself before you’re able to vocally react, instead somehow calmly looking over at your window. The blinds are shut. You don’t doubt that someone, if determined enough, could find a way to peek inside, but you doubted that the man on the phone was that pervert.

“Liar.”

On the other end, the man lets out a chuckle. And you realize, despite yourself, that his voice is kinda attractive, at least for a creep.

“Made you look.”

Scratch that. Very attractive.

Biting your lip, you lay back down, the horny side of your brain pushing you to start your movements again. You have no plan- ideally he would hang up and you would be able to fully indulge yourself, but as the seconds pass without the telltale click of the line being cut you figure this won’t happen.

“What do you want, weirdo?” You can’t help but throw the insult in, figuring he deserves it for interrupting you twice. Not that he knew he was doing it, but either way it didn't matter to you.

“You wound me.” His voice is deep and expressive, and you are definitely getting wetter listening to him speak.

“Good.” You chuckle, but it’s breathless in the way that only someone who was currently masturbating (as you were) would sound.

He’s silent for a moment, and you begin to pick up your pace, adding pressure to your movements, the occasional jolt of pleasure running through your body distracting you from the fact that it was definitely louder than you realized.

“Are you fucking yourself right now?” He doesn’t sound offended (thank goodness), but he does sound confused. You, on the other hand, are suddenly too mortified to examine his tone and you only realize this fact after.

“Shit!” You pull the phone away from your face, as if that lessens the impact of the fact that you were just caught masturbating by a stranger. “I’m sorry, fuck-”

“No- keep going.”

You definitely did not hear that right. You put the phone back to your ear.

“I’m sorry? No-”

“I said, keep going.” Oh boy. If his voice was attractive before when he was just casually talking with you, it didn’t compare to how hot it was when he gave you a command. “You had no problem being a slut before, so you shouldn’t have one now.”

“I- okay. I just feel awkward now.” All of the bravado you felt earlier had quickly dissipated once you were caught.

He hums on the other end of the line and you wait impatiently for his response.

“Would it help if I told you what to do?”

This was certainly not how you had anticipated your night ending up, but you weren’t complaining. How often would you get the chance to have consequence-free phone sex with a complete stranger?

This could very well be the only time in your entire life you would have this thrilling opportunity, and you weren’t going to let it pass you by.

“I think so.” You could hear the man getting comfortable, the rustling of fabric faint in the background on his end. You wondered if it was him getting his cock out.

“Are you still touching yourself?”

“...Yes.” You’d slowed down after you’d been caught, but never fully stopped.

“Play with your clit for me.”

“O-okay.” It was a simple and vague instruction, but something that you could quickly comply with, given that your hand had barely moved from its earlier position. You resumed stroking it, noticing that you had gotten significantly wetter since you’d first picked up the phone. Not quite dripping, but enough to signify that you were definitely turned on by the situation you had found yourself in.

“Good girl.”

Fuck. Your hips jerked at the praise, and you bit your lip to hide your moan. But you clearly didn’t do a good job of it, because the man on the other end chuckled, the sound once again going straight to your pussy.

“Oh, did you like that?”

“Y-yes.” If you were of sound mind you would be embarrassed by how quickly this man had managed to reduce you to the stuttering mess you were now.

“Put the phone on speaker, and don’t even think about holding back any of those little noises.” You rush to comply, fumbling slightly with controlling your non-dominant hand.

“Done.”

“Good. Close your eyes.”

“...Okay.”

“Are you still touching your clit?” You hum in response.

“Just how fucking wet are you right now?”

You gasped, rhythm faltering. “Very.” Your voice is breathy, shaking as you stumble over the single word. “Fuck, please tell me something- anything. Wanna hear what you want.”

“Yeah?” You can now hear the distinct noise of him jerking off on the other end, and you’re certain he must be able to hear the sloppy noise your own movements are creating. “I wanna to fuck you so hard you won’t be walk right for a week, every movement you make a reminder of how much I fucking own you. You’re mine, got that? My little slut, just a fuck toy for me to fill up.”

You shuddered, turning your head against your pillow.

“You want that, want me to fill you up?”

“Yes, please, I want your cum, oh my god,” you’re mumbling, words you don’t truly mean but your brain is far too gone to think about the things you’re saying.

Plus, he’s just a stranger, someone you’ll never meet. You can say whatever you want, it doesn’t even matter.

“I wanna make you cum on my cock, feel your tight little pussy around me-fuck,” You wished, briefly, you knew what he looked like, so you could properly imagine him fisting his cock, the muscles in his arm straining as he made himself go faster, chasing his release.

“I want it, I want it, please,” You were just saying the same thing over and over again, too close to your climax to think of anything sexier to say.

“Are you gonna cum?” His voice was strained, almost muttered out.

“Yes, yes- please I need it, fuck-”

“Then do it. Cum for me like a good little girl.”

And with his permission, you comply, continuing your litany of curses and pleas as your back arches, your orgasm crashing through your body. Gasping, eyes and mouth open, continuing to touch yourself until your body screamed at you to stop from the overstimulation on your clit.

On his end, he lets out a long, low groan as he reaches his climax in the midst of your own. In the back of your mind you wish you were more present to fully enjoy the noise he’s made, to revel in the fact that you did that to a total stranger.

Once you both have come back down from your high, the line is silent. You have no idea what to say, how to even continue a conversation from here. For a moment you contemplate just hanging up and going to sleep, but he beats you to the chase with a line that turns your racing blood to ice.

“See you soon.”

___

ao3 link | part two