#id have so much anxiety and fear of failing to perform and be what ppl want from me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

benilos · 7 months ago

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god i just sometimes really wish the things i created brought other ppl the same joy it brings me. i want to give something so happy for them to enjoy, i want them to feel this same wonder i do when creating. why wouldnt you want to share that feeling with other people? do u know how happy i am when i am creating? would you like to?

#i cant ever understand why i want my things to be popular #cuz when i really think about #i hate the idea of being famous #id have so much anxiety and fear of failing to perform and be what ppl want from me #but i want to popular so i can show as many ppl the things that bring me great joy?#but i dont want to be known #i want to be hidden away where i cannot be hurt #but i want to reach out and touch the world so they may feel the sunlight that i have pouring out of my heart #even if i create such dark and scary stories that have pain in them #it makes me happy #surely other people would find happiness in it too?#im still scared of hurting so im mean and like to ruin my own chances #but fucking hell i want to exist for others i want to create something that brings ideas to someones mind and makes them create too #i am sorry i am sharp i was cracked so many times #i just want to learn and grow be good to you all

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