#ichigoxrukia : nothing but you can change my world

[dedahblog]

A two part analysis about Ichigo's fake emotional dependency and how beautifully Kub0 resolved it

I wrote this meta to criticize an aspect of IR relationship that is hardly considered a matter of concern.

It's the " Ichigo being a lost puppy without Rukia" trope

If you don't find any problem with it, then please ignore this post because it will be a waste of your time

Introduction

What I love the most in ichiruki is their trust for each other and how they both inspire joy, hope and courage for each other mutually .

The lost puppy trope contradicts this notion in one way or another since it doesn't put their importance for the other in an equal footing.

That's why I started pondering how this unpleasant frame of mind was established

Is it true that Ichigo's lost without Rukia ?

If anything the last arc proves he wasn't.

so what does that leave ?

does that mean that she's no longer important to him ? Or was this mindset fictious in the first place ?

This is just a personal interpretation. I'm not claiming I can read Kub0's mind (I wish I could)

First of all, I'll start with the chapter that prompted that idea in the first place

It's strange how the world keeps rotating without you

"It's a strange feeling.

Nothing seems out of place.

Even without Rukia, our world still keeps turning.

That's right.Rukia was originally from Soul Society (there). From the very start, there was never really a place where she belonged here

............if that's the case, what should I do?"

Kurosaki Ichigo, chapter 58

After Rukia was abducted, Ichigo was confused about how the world could continue to operate normally when she wasn't around.

In fact, while everyone was dealing with his life normally, he couldn't

It's a strange feeling.

Nothing seems out of place.

Even without Rukia, our world still keeps turning.

What Ichigo failed to understand was that there was no reason why the world wouldn't rotate normally without one person.

He was the problem here

The reason he felt that way was simply because he was extremely saddened that Rukia was not by his side

The feeling he felt was so immense and so new to him that he couldn't associate it with any other thing he felt before.

Since he was oblivious to the depth of his feelings at that time, he couldn't fathom the reason behind all his melancholia.

Someone as clueless as him could just deduce from all this that he should just bring her back to Karakura so that the world "can function properly again".

And that's it. End of the drama

However, as I explained here, Ichigo can't be selfish when it comes to Rukia.

That's right.

Rukia was originally from Soul Society (there).

From the very start, there was never really a place where she belonged here

He respects her individuality too much to do that.

He refused to let himself selfishly decide a fate for her (after saving her that is) just because the world felt odd without her

But at the same time, he wanted to understand why he felt that Rukia belonged here in this world when she was originally from another place

(spoiler alert he will realise it after 400 chapters)

............if that's the case, what should I do?"

Orhime unintentionally made him realise that the most important thing for now was not to ponder how the world could rotate without her but refocusing his attention on keeping Rukia alive and safe

And if Ichigo was sure of one thing, it was that the safest place for Rukia to be was by his side ( since he assumed everyone in SS wanted her dead)

He deduced that the reason he felt Rukia belonged here (with him) was because he was prioritising her safety (*)

Before he could give any closure to his confusion, Ichigo changed his train of thoughts and set his mind on one goal: after saving her, he would bring Rukia back to safety (by his side)

That's it. He just wants her to be safe with him... that's why he felt she belonged here no other reason

However, at the end, Rukia decided to stay in SS

.....

....

...

Rukia being separated from Ichigo at the end of the SS arc is one of the best decisions Kub0 has ever made.

First of all, it made Ichigo aware why he wanted to save Rukia. Her being denied of hope is what triggered him to do his best for her.

And I'm pretty sure that blockhead would never understand that if Rukia were to return home with him.

Secondly, Rukia knew Ichigo wanted her to go back with him and was expecting to be saddened by this news.

By witnessing how he accepted her decision without any questioning, Rukia was made aware about how unconditional Ichigo's feelings are.

Last but not least, it forced Ichigo to slowly realise what the whole thing about the world couldn't rotate without Rukia actually meant

Again I'll emphasize slooooowly.

At first, he got it wrong again

At the beginning of the arrancar arc, when Ichigo didn't think he could win against his hollow, once Rukia expressed her admiration towards him, he became self confident again.

Rukia's trust and opinion meant much more to him than his own impression of himself

Rukia's presence inspired him to be hopeful and courageous. From then, Ichigo deluded himself into thinking that what he felt at that time meant simply that Rukia was his anchor

That isn't of course totally false since Morita agreed on that but it's also can't summarized the depth of his feelings for her

However, by assuming that Rukia was so pivotal in his mental health, he was both belittling himself and her since she does have a life outside their relationship.

In short, he didn't learn jack shit

and his way of coping with his obliviousness was becoming a bit counterproductive as shown in this infamous poem

I can't go on in a world without you

This poem is very similar to his thoughts when Rukia was abducted but this one is a bit self conscious ( at last !!!!!)

This time, Ichigo understood that the reason he felt the world couldn't rotate properly was stemed from him.

He was the one who couldn't keep up with its speed when Rukia isn't by his side

This can be cute in some ways but as I said, this isn't the aim of my meta

Just like when Rukia was abducted, he was finding excuses to explain feelings he never experienced before

Now, Ichigo could only justify his emotions for Rukia with the fact that he can't function properly without her, plain simple.

Even, other translations claim the original japanese text could even mean that he was rather unwilling to even try

And that goes well with my personal theory which is pretty much the heart of this analysis

Ichigo wasn't dependent on Rukia by need but by choice

His low self esteem and insecurity weren't the only reason why he felt worthless when she wasn't by his side.

I think Ichigo unconsciously wanted to be dependent on Rukia because he wanted her to feel as if he needed her :

He wanted her to have a reason to stay by his side because he was afraid of losing her.

(the same reason orhime wants to be dependent on Ichigo and that's for another topic)

However, he never seriously acted on this seemingly selfish thought because as I said Ichigo can't help but be selfless when it comes to Rukia

But he doesn't want to lose her either.

I know I already linked this post but I explain here in depth my own perception of the duality of his feelings

And when he lost his powers, he lost Rukia too.

Part 2

...

(*) This is how I understood that scene, the anime team, on the other hand, had a different interpretation but in my humble opinion, it's out of character for dumbass Ichigo to be this self aware at this stage of the manga

[dedahblog]

Juha Bach staring silently at Ichigo while he's saying how he won't give up if someone were to take his place referring to what Rukia did when she lost her powers

There are so many ichiruki gems in the final arc and I'm here to prove it

The context of this scene is very important

We had Ichigo killing the soul king because his quincy blood was driving him to then Ukitake released the right hand of the soul king. Juha bach tried to stop it from reforming the soul king back however Ichigo blocked him so that Yoruichi could make a shihioun's spell to recreate a new soul king

Juha Bach didn't even seem fazed, he didn't fight Ichigo back. He knew he could destroy it again

This was not his major concern right now. He calmly asked Ichigo why he wanted to protect the soul king and the soul society when everything in his blood was urging him to annihilate them

It's interesting to note that Ichigo didn't deny that claim.

Ichigo told him this wasn't just about the shinigami. He came to protect everyone : the real world not just his family or friends, the soul society not just his shinigami friends and the hueco mundo not just Nel and her friends.

It was written as a parallel to this scene : when Ichigo had said to Rukia that he only fights to protect his family.

Of course, we know this was not the full picture. Ichigo hadn't been that egocentric when he used to be a kid. The reason he didn't want to protect strangers was because he was scared. His family could get killed the moment he didn't keep an eye on them, just like his mother

Juha Bach may seem like a typical villian trying to shake the hero morals but this train of thoughts about being arrogant was basically what Ichigo had been thinking at first.

According to Ichigo from ch 1 , his 9 year old self's arrogance and naivety to save everyone was the reason his mother died protecting him.

No one can help everyone. There is always a downside : someone has to die while the other has to pay the price of being protected.

(Interesting enough the first time Ichigo let go of this cynism and fear was when Rukia was abducted as I explained in one of my meta )

Then when Ichigo said this line. The whole dynamic parallel became clear

Juha bach's speech was referring to Ichigo's pragmatic and depressing world view he had at the start of the serie.

While Ichigo was fully adopting Rukia's ideals "Even if someone (himself ) were to take my place (were to have all her shinigami powers) it doesn't mean I (Rukia ) should turn my (her) back and run from all of this"

We know as a fact that Juha Bach's blood flows in every quincy. "Old man zangetsu" has been in Ichigo's inner world since the day he was born. He has witnessed everything that happened to Ichigo and he has known him the best.

Juha Bach didn't question him anymore on why he wanted to side with the shinigami, why he took so much pride being one.

He got his answer.

I see so it is her

His expression shifted from indignation/desdain -> boredom-> anger to understanding.

[dedahblog]

Part 2 of this

When he found a reason (his friends' safety was at stake) and a way ( Ginjo ) to get his shinigami powers, Ichigo dedicated himself to that goal

the goal that will lead him to reconnect with Rukia again

I think many would disagree with me here.

Some would say that Ichigo would never use his friends' distress as a pretext to see Rukia again and he cares about them

Short answer

You have no idea how much Ichigo was desperate to try to understand himself. Finding any excuse was becoming a necessity to him.

Long answer

Well, I never said he doesn't care about his friends but if you think that Ichigo is a selfless angel who will bleed for the sake of everyone then I have some bad news for you.

When his friends were in danger, the first thing he thought about after he awakened his fullbring power was how it will enable him to restore his shinigami's.

He barely developed any new power at that time so he couldn't be sure it won't be more powerful than his shinigami's.

Nevertheless, the fact that he didn't even think

"with this I might... really be able to save my friends!!"

is a huge red flag, especially when at that very moment, Ishida was hospitalised because of his heavy injuries

Neither was saving his friends the only reason nor the main one why he wanted to get them back

When Rukia was abducted, he couldn't even understand the extent of his heartache, let alone its cause.

However, this time, he could get that she was one of the reasons he felt that way.

but he didn't want to reflect on it simply because it hurt him to admit his feelings for someone he thought he lost

The fact he was lying to himself (and to us) in the panel above was only making his cluelessness turns into a repulsive kind of selfishness.

Thankfully, he finally became honest to himself later on

....

When Ichigo was depressed, powerless and couldn't trust anyone who wanted to help him, Rukia was there for him.

He didn't lose her

If he was belittling himself thinking that without his powers he was worthless then he was proven wrong.

The Ichigo who changed Soul Society corruption (even slightly) was still him and he was rewarded thanks to what he is

(of course that Ichigo was nowhere to be found in the ending) (x)

That’s what the poem in the closing volume of that arc meant. Rukia confirmed that what makes Ichigo strong aren't his powers but his unchanging heart aka himself.

...

Most importantly,concerning his bond with Rukia : If he was ever scared of losing it then he was proven wrong too

It wasn't a matter of which one between the two needed the other the most.

It was about that no matter what she would always be there for him

Because Rukia came back for him

Bevause Rukia would never abondon him

The day they met, Rukia saw Ichigo's worry over his family and his guilt over their injuries he thought he caused, she trusted him to save everyone even if it meant she would get executed

Ichigo saw Rukia sacrificing herself for him, he trusted her to plunge a sword into his chest even though it would kill him

Rukia had never trusted anyone like him, even if they spent only 2 months together

Ichigo knew about it and felt the exact same way.

Because he had never trusted anyone like her, even if they spent only 2 months together

It was all about how their relationship was based on nothing but trust since day one, this time was no different.

Rukia was confident that he would trust no one but her stabbing him

Ichigo was confident that no matter what she would never betray him

...

Ichigo didn't need any motivational speech to be cheered up during that reunion

By seeing how Rukia was here for him, by being reminded that this person he trusted like no other would never abondon him, he became strong and confident

That's why Kub0 emphasized the word 'bond' on his color spreads at that time :

" Pride and bonds make me strong" (x)

" Time goes by but bonds don't break" (x)

And in the chapters' titles:

Chapter 455 End of the Bond 1 ---> Chapter 456 End of the Bond 2 ---> Chapter 457 End of Bond 3 ---> Chapter 458 End of all Bonds ---> Chapter 459 ( when Rukia comes back) : The Death and the Strawberry 2

What makes people strong is the emotional connection that they build with someone they hold dear.

The power Ichigo gained was only a tool to connect with Rukia

Thus when he could see her again, he didn't need it anymore.

He left his blade on the ground to stare at her.

He was no longer lying to himself

There was no other reason to explain what he was feeling at that moment.

I see now

Why he was wondering how the world rotated when Rukia was absent

Why he wanted to save her so much that he made miracles happen and he couldn't achieve that for anyone else

Why it was only a matter of Rukia saying how she believed in him to make a crucial change in himself

Why he felt desolate when he was powerless, even when everyone was safe

What made him yearn for his powers when he lost them

Why he trusts no one more than her

He realised the depth of everything he felt .

And he embraced them completly

To sum up

Ichigo's world can rotate normally without Rukia. Ichigo can keep up with its speed of it without her. He doesn't need her by his side to lift his low spirits or to validate his identity as a shinigami.

When she was abducted or when he couldn't see her anymore, he felt her absence to the core simply because he missed her terribly.

He felt dispirited in the 17 month time skip because he thought he lost his connection with her and as I explained here, Ichigo considers meeting Rukia the best part of everything that happened to him since the beginning of this manga

It was never a case of emotional dependency

Ichigo doesn't need Rukia by his side. He wants her.

He wants her to be present in his life simply because he's fond of her, as an individual and he is afraid of losing her

By attesting how she would never abondon him and by understanding his heart, Ichigo let go of that fear, became more self confident thus he reached his emotional maturity.

I'm not going to further develop how Kub0 was clearly developing Ichigo becoming more self-sufficient in the last arc.

(how he didn't need her to kick his butt during the zangetsu reveal, ishida's betrayal or him killing the soul king. He could overcome all those obstacles by himself)

It's already embarrassing to write a meta about a 700 chapter manga with no story resolution. I'll gladly deny the existence of the last arc and admit that whatever development kub0 was aiming for, it was left unfinished.

.....

(*) : if you want a great and long analysis of that scene you can visit this and this

[dedahblog]

My Tribute to my Favorite Ichiruki Edit (until now)

I love how this summarizes everything about ichiruki

...

(edited august 2023)

It's so easy to claim that what differenciates Rukia from Ichigo's other friends is that she gave him magical powers and thus his identity as a shonen main protagonist.

But that's not the reason actually it's not even close

..

First, let's dive into

1. why Ichigo wanted power.

It's true that there's an altruistic side of him who wants to help others out of pure kindness.

But it's not all as naive as some may think. Actually, from my perspective, there is a huge egocentric advantage he gains from it.

Ichigo wanted power because he was guilty of Rukia's injury and of his family imminent death that he will cause because he had interfered with Rukia's job. The latter gave him the opportunity not to blame himself again like it was the case with his mother's death and he grabbed that chance.

But this reason depended on those precise circumstances and it was not enough to make him commit. That's why, in the second chapter, he was reluctant to be a subtitute.

The only reason he accepted was that he understood that if he didn't help powerless Rukia, she would die sacrificing herself once again and thus he would be guilty of her death.

This was the perfect chance for him to redeem himself from "killing" a protector (his mother) by aiding/protecting a protector (Rukia)

Ichigo also wanted power because he never forgave himself for "killing his mother" and he wanted to inflict pain on himself for the sake of "protecting", the same cause that his mother died for.

Morever, he wanted power because a side of him loved challenges and lusted for blood for his selfish pleasures (Lust arc / Shaking Throne volume ) .

2.what was he longing for when he lost that said power

In the meantime of all this shonen manga shenanigans, Ichigo, just like the readers, lost focus/didn't realize/didn't want to admit to himself what was the main advantage about gaining this power. Ichigo considered Rukia's importance only from a pragmatic angle :

thanks to her power and her guidance, he can "protect his friends" => he "unlocked his identity as a shonen protagonist"

However, when he became powerless and when his friends were in danger, the first thing that he thought about after he awakened his fb power was how it will enable him to restore his shinigami powers

Not even "with this I might ... really be able to save my friends!!" What a selfish bastard

And when he thought about what made him want to get his powers back, it was her.

(and the expression he made was not something that conveyed pride in any sort of but rather longing and desolation)

He envisioned Rukia, as an individual, without her zanpaktou that represents her shinigami power ; just her wearing her kimono because it was only by regaining his powers that he would get to meet her again

When Ichigo saw Rukia again, after he regained his powers, everything became clear to him.

He left the power he so longed for ever since his mother died to stare at her.

This power is no longer a device to redeem himself, to inflict pain on himself or to satisfy his own pride.It became a device to connect with someone thus once he could see Rukia again, he didn't need that power anymore .

Every power he gained is worthless compared to the greatest gift that it granted him which is meeting Rukia as an individual

That's why I love chapter 460.

Aside from the fact that Ichigo became aware of the weight of his feelings, it's also a good representation of what's the most important aspect of Ichigo's odyssey, this whole manga and even life in general

It's not about the glories, the wealth, the egocentric self enlightment quests or redeeming oneself for past mistakes.But it's about the connection you build with someone that is dear to you.

So, after pointing out how Ichigo values Rukia's presence in his life more than his power, I'll be talking about the main topic part.

if Rukia's value is not linked to the presence or the absense of the powers then what makes her endearing to him ?

3 what doesn't differenciate Rukia from everyone

...

I don't know whether Kubo has done it deliberately or not, but every girl Ichigo met and heavily interacted to after meeting Rukia has something in common with her.

Hiyori : uses her fist first, straighforward

Riruka : likes cute things,

Nel : a warrior who protected him (and failed)

Ikumi : bossy, someone older than him, who tried to give him guidance (but failed because Ichigo doesn't see her as an equal), tried to convince him to help her with her job

Besides that, Urahara is the one awakened Ichigo's true shinigami powers and truly trained ( then deceived ) him and Ginjo did the same for his fullbring powers (then betrayed him too)

However, Ichigo didn't see them in the same light as he sees Rukia, which proves that it's not those individual character traits that makes him so fond of her.

Her liking cutes things,

Her being straighforward and bossy ,

Her being a warrior and protecting him

Her trying to give him guidance,

Her giving him shinigami power,

are not what differenciates Rukia from everyone.

4 Then what differentiates Rukia from everyone

The best thing about ichiruki is we never had Ichigo even indirectly stating the precise reason why she's so dear to him.

We can only guess

....

Rukia is someone who never hold him accountable for her imminent execution but was ready to throw hands when he dared to insinuate he won't help people in need.

Someone who never wanted to burden him with her problems even though he was partially responsible for them.

Someone who promised her unconditional time to listen to every one of his burdens and who dared to dream about this future for his sake when she knew her days were numbered .

A proud woman who had to be strong for too long but who trusts him enough to show him solely her tears / vulnerability.

Just like that beautiful edit said

"I am learning to appreciate the simple things like you"

Rukia is special to Ichigo simply because she's Rukia and just like he said , "Rukia is "weird"

She's not like any other person he met

I guess you would tell me

" What does that even mean ? You didn't add anything new to the table ! No one is like anyone"

but you see that's it. That's the essence of why they are fond of each other

What differenciate Rukia from everyone could be :

1. one of those qualities

2. all of them

3. beyond that

4. something that happened in an out screen moment that was not revealed in the manga

We will never know

But one thing for sure, it will always be a gesture, a stare, a saying that Rukia made and not anyone else

It will always be the fact that it emanated from Rukia, an individual, as a whole with all her qualities, her flaws and her weird antics

The unconditional love and the fondness for the individuality of the person you hold dear to your heart is why ichiruki is so endearing to me.

[dedahblog]

"Starter" the second chapter of this manga is probably the most important one in this whole story

This is my personal analysis of Ichigo/ Rukia's dialogue. This is a no romance related post, just me trying to interpret the words of those emotionally constipated idiots.

Of course, this is undeniably a tribute to Rukia

Rukia knew from day one that if she gave even half of her powers to Ichigo, she would get executed.

However, she did it anyway

No one could ever comprehend what was happening in her mind in that one tiny panel, before she suggested that "crime" to Ichigo.

Kub0, what was the main message behind her noble act ? Please put into words what readers should conclude regarding her character.

Let's appreciate the fact that that woman was aware that she could be executed and even slaughtered by SS in any given time.

Ichigo was aware that Rukia was not guilty of anything. He was the one who should pay the price of his arrogance.

However, there was something more important for Ichigo than Rukia's fair treatment and his own pride. It was his family's safety.

If he were to accept Rukia's offer, his family could get killed at anytime while he was saving some stranger, just like what happened to his mother. Some strangers getting killed was not his concern compared to the immense guilt he would feel if he were to live his trauma again.

..

It's also important to note that Ichigo didn't forget about her sacrifice. He was aware that she owed him one and expected him to return back the favor thus him saying " sorry to disappoint you".

I want to stress over the fact that he didn't forget anything because this topic will be brought up again later

..

Rukia thought it was probably a lack of confidence so she quicky tried to reassure him.

Ichigo refused to help her, if I may say half heartedly : that little sweart dropple showed how he wasn't confident of this decision.

However, Rukia neither caught how unsure he was about his decision nor gave a f.

Girlboss is a woman of action.

She made the most crucial move in this manga.

Ichigo, just like the readers, was confused seeing a soul being seperated from its physical body.

Was Ichigo going to come back to his body ? Was he going to leave his body like that ? Was it considered a corpse at that point ? Did Ichigo turn into a shinigami trapped in a corpse ? Was he no longer a human ?

When Rukia said the line " Follow me", Ichigo and us understood that all those questions were meaningless at that moment.

All those fantastic, supernatural events were not that important. There was something more impactful in this whole picture, this whole manga and Kub0/ Rukia was going to show it for us/Ichigo

She told us/Ichigo to follow her lead since she took his place as the hero and the main character as he obviously didn't want to be any of those.

Not only did she make Ichigo wait for twenty minutes for the hollow, but she also intimidated him so much that this ungrateful punk ass teen didn't dare to ask anything for that long.

Readers understood the extent of the charisma radiating from this petite woman.

Then, when a hollow appeared, Rukia who, as a reminder, had sacrificed herself for a stranger the night before, didn't move even one inch

As she was saying, whether Ichigo helped that kid or not, that won't mean he wanted to be the main character and the hero, since any other "kind-hearted" character would help that kid in those precise circumstances.

Rukia was shaking her fist while proclaiming her ideals for two reasons.

First of all, she was just as scared as Ichigo about that kid's safety and she was holding herself back from sacrificing herself for him.

Secondly, she could never deny Ichigo's individuality ; she knew she couldn't control his mindest so she was putting all her heart in that speech to convince him to help her.

The thing about Rukia is whatever sacrifices she had made, she thought she was responsible for that decision thus she never blamed Ichigo for her execution.

However, that was different. That wasn't about her. People's lives were in danger. Even if she can do some kidou spells, there was a high possibility that people would get killed. She was shaking her fist because she was worried what may happen if Ichigo let her down.

In that last panel, Ichigo recalled how Rukia sacrificed herself for him. As I said before he had never forgotten it but at that time, he started seeing it in a new perspective.

Rukia was someone that was certain that a shinigami is defined as someone who would die protecting anyone in need. If he didn't help her, she would never sit back and blame him for all the lives that were not saved. She would sacrifice herself over and over again until her last breath.

So his decision was made.

When Rukia asked him if he accepted, he replied (gracefully)

then continued with,

He added that he would never believe that her shinigami morals are universal.

No one in the world could fully embrace those ideals because it's hard to even fathom that you need to be omnipresent for the sake of others

(isn't that one of the reasons why humans invented Gods in the first place? )

He told her that she didn't sacrifice herself thanks to her shinigami upbringing. There was a goodness in her that was driving her to do it, a goodness he didn't have.

His speech wasn't about conforming to her ideals since he didn't have her guts " I'm not as nice of a person" as you.

( which to be fair is 10000% true. Ichigo admitting you're trash compared to Rukia👏👏good shit)

He told her that if he get scared, he may feel the impulse to run away from this duty, but he won't for one reason.

Anyone who read this manga knows what the shaded closed up mouth panels represented. They were used to show that a character was not true to himself.

Kubo did the same trick at that time. He drew one tiny panel focusing on Ichigo's mouth before making him say he was doing it out of debt.

That reason was neither the only one nor the main one.

As I explained, the fact he was indebted to her had never been forgotten and it didn't prevent him from refusing her offer in the first place.

The reason he became a subtitute was that Rukia's safety became his priority ;

She would die if he didn't help her.

and more importantly he believed in Rukia's noble value and understood them even if he couldn't commit.

By the end of that chapter, Ichigo regained his status as the main character but Rukia remained the undeniable hero.

We later understood what made him become one : he was finally ready to fully commit to Rukia's ideals.

The only time Kub0 acknowledge him as onz was in the last arc, in a chapter named "the hero" (ch 555).

[dedahblog]

This will always be my favorite Ichigo moment

When Urahare asked him the geniune question

" Do you truly desire to save Rukia ?"

Ichigo was at first dazed and almost looked like a child

Do I ... truly desire to save .. Rukia ?

He was stunned by the simplicity of those words and also how much they weighted within his soul.

He answered himself immediately without any hesitation.

yes I do

like a wedding vow

Ever since his mother was killed, this's the first time that Ichigo hasn't hesitated one micro second.

Ichigo has always wanted to save many people but when he tried to save someone who happened to be Grand Fisher's bait, he lost the person he wanted to protect the most, his mother.

That's why he held back, out of fear of losing those precious to him and this behavior ironically made him more egocentric, scared about what may happen to himself if he acted out on instinct.

Since then, he always hesitated :

when Rukia told how he can save his sisters by becoming a shinigami

when he faced Orhime's brother who turned into a hollow

when he had to choose between helping Rukia or taking Karin to safety.

However, everything had changed when Rukia was abducted. This moral he stuck with crumbled.

Like he said in volume 19 poem "Nothing else -but Rukia- can change my world"

This's a renewal of everything he believed in.

Even Isshin was stunned by this change, he though Ichigo would hesitate before going to Soul Society.

Ichigo had basically no guarantee that his family would be safe from hollows.

He was ready to throw it all and he wasn't worried about any consequence of his decision.

He only set his mind on one goal Rukia

When you think about it, if Ichigo didn't care about may happen to his family, he probably neither cared about if he would ever make it out alive.

After his mother died, I'm pretty sure that Ichigo had attempted to harm himself multiple times.

But, he never actually considered suicide because he had to protect his family whose lifes were entrusted to him (well that's how his mindset works)

However, if he had failed in Soul Society and Rukia had died, he probably would have ended his life.

Isshin saw how much saving Rukia means to him, was worried if he would ever see him again that's why he gave him his mother's gift.

Don't think that your life is worthless

Here is a reason for you to come back

Promise me you will come back safe

So when said person for whom he was ready to bet everything, yelled at him and told him to go back home.

he could only stare at her with an intense yet soft look

It's okay

You're not alone ... anymore

I'm here now and I won't give up on you.