#ic musings: Clemcy

[justashadetalkative]

IC musings: Clemcy

“I’m not a hive mind in the way popular culture tends to understand it. Without an intentional link, bodies do not share simultaneous memories or thoughts. Each instance of myself is experiencing life in the singular, at least in that sense.

“I often act somewhat differently in any given fragment. Different bodies are… I suppose one could liken them to being on different psychiatric medications, for lack of a better analogy. I am still myself, regardless, but my mood, energy level, impulse control, clarity of thought—those things can vary. 

“And there are, of course, however many years of divergent experience that have built up over the lifespan of a given body. Those experiences are generally only re-integrated after any given fragment’s death. Only then do they pass forward into new embodiments.”

[justashadetalkative]

⏳

(For every “⏳” I receive, my muse will openly talk about a bit of their backstory.)

Clemcy

"Adjusting to having a split soul was... quite the challenge," Clemcy admits.

"It did not help that the first split was quite so traumatic; my own memories were terribly scrambled, the memories of the new body imposed themselves, and I was in an entirely unfamiliar world. For a time, I was very nearly convinced that I'd lost my mind.

"Setting that disaster aside, however... it was still a challenge.

"I'm not entirely certain how to convey to you the power that I once held. Perhaps it would give you some small understanding to state that I once altered landscapes; shaped the unwilling life-pulse of the planet itself into a channel for my power, drank down armies for fuel, and laughed with the exhilaration of that casting.

"It was all meaningless in the end, I'll freely admit that. Power that is vulnerable to a single point of failure is good for very little at all, particularly when it calls attention to itself. In every real sense, I wield more power and influence now than I ever could have dreamed when I was whole.

"But it was still an adjustment, as I suppose any new disability must be. It took time to learn the limitations of my fractured soul, and to relearn with each further split, each new experiment. It took more time still to learn to respect those limitations as the objective fact that they were, and to discover what I could still accomplish in one body without tearing myself to pieces.

"In the end, of course, I did learn."

[justashadetalkative]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME?: Gossy

(Picrew by Lunevani, found here. Thanks Swid!)

PRONOUNS?: Any non-neopronoun (he/she/they/it)

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: Discord for any sort of involved conversation! Replies & tumblr messenger are both fine for short-form stuff, though.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: Diamond for the most part; he comes naturally.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: I started roleplaying on online forums ~15 years ago, but I started doing DnD with my parents and pass-a-word-document-back-and-forth style rp with some IRL friends ~18 years ago.

BEST EXPERIENCE?: I don't really tend to think in terms of Grand Moments! I think that overall I've had a pretty good experience just, In General with rp. Exceptions have happened, but they've been mild and manageable.

RP PET PEEVES?: Lack of (positive) ooc communication is the main one that comes to mind. I want this to feel like something we're doing collaboratively, with good will and for the sake of having fun. I do also get disheartened if the initiation of interactions (e.g. ask sending, thread notions) isn't at least sometimes mutual, but that’s like... I don’t expect balance or anything; folk have varying levels of energy and anxiety and idea flow, and that’s natural! I just feel more comfortable with at least the occasional indication of reciprocal interest.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: Angst and fluff are both good! I'd theoretically be open to smut on Discord with the right characters & situation, but I've never actually written it.

PLOTS OR MEMES?: Definitely plots; I am so, so bad at improv, so it's kind of hard for me to respond to ic-memes a lot of the time. ^_^; That said, even when they're a challenge for me I do still like memes! They're a nice way to get new ideas flowing, and I like sending them.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: Long and medium are best. Kind of like with plotting vs. memes, I do best when I have context to build from, and single-paragraph or shorter can start to be more difficult for me to work with.

TIME TO WRITE?: Fffff. Whenever I 1) have time, and 2) can convince my brain to cooperate. It's intermittent, sadly.

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ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?

We're all very queer. :P

Otherwise, Diamond's been hanging out rent free in my head since I was literally 4, so. I think there's absolutely overlap there and that it's also just anchored too deep down for me to untangle or notice specifics. xD

My other muses do often take at least one or two ideas, feelings, or questions of mine and extrapolate those to extremes; see where they'd go if they were big enough and internalized enough to be personality-defining. Clemcy and the fear of death, the arrogant know-it-all tendencies. Ithadel and the deep fear of overstepping boundaries, the self-knowledge of being a wet blanket in social situations. Oscar and the genuine belief that the whole point of it all is for us to care for one another and the world itself.

Phosa and Linast are question-based; I think a lot of their character struggles have grown out of my musings on the sometimes-immense discrepancies between who one is in raw instinct vs. who one is when acting purposefully vs. who one wants to be, and the further difference between true internal desire 'want' vs. wistful thinking 'want'.

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tagged by: @archerwhiterp; thanks! :)

Tagging: @theovergrowth @needleandstory @desertfragments @writedisaster @oflostinfound @hearthtales @discipulusmaleficus

[justashadetalkative]

IC Musings: Clemcy

“The only reason that you are currently alive — the only reason your soul is intact enough that you might some day pass on to whichever Light-forsaken afterlife may deign to accept you — is that my position at the Spire is precarious. I cannot afford to waste useful personnel.”

“Now, I want to be very clear about this: that is not the same as saying that you are irreplaceable. If you fail to remain useful, or if anything like this happens again and I am forced to conclude that you cause more trouble than you are worth, you will be gone. Do you understand me?”

[justashadetalkative]

IC Musings: Diamond

“I’m not actually... entirely unhappy with immortality. If I was, I’d be working a lot harder to undo it. Clemcy cast these spells when he had a cumulative age of maybe 80, for fuck’s sake, I’m pretty sure I could have figured something out by now even if I didn’t want to just feed my soul to a demon or something.

“...Though on that front, I guess I’m lucky that I don’t tend to have the energy for either research or demon hunting when I’m actively suicidal.”

[justashadetalkative]

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world? ♪♩♫ Does music inspire your muse? What’s one song on your playlist that reminds you of your muse? ▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world?

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world? 

Actually, by rights Linast should probably be a lot less polite and somewhat less nice than I’ve been playing him here. ^_^; When I used to play him real time he was much more sullen and distrustful. Though I’m not sure whether that’s me playing him out of character now because it’s easy to want to be cautious and nice with new(er) partners or whatever, or if it’s just a result of my writing and who I want his character to be shifting with time. He’s older and post Human Incident here, too, I suppose. He was literally less socialized back then, and didn’t have the same ideals and fears to quite the same degree.

Either way, I do tend to keep him out of active rage mode when I can unless I’ve talked with my partner about it ahead of time these days. Though again, post Human Incident he’s pretty terrified of that part of himself, so there’s an IC reason too.

♪♩♫ Does music inspire your muse? What’s one song on your playlist that reminds you of your muse?

Oh, certainly! For a lot of my characters, really. For Linast, I’m currently on the fence between ““Turn off the Lights” by Panic! At the Disco, and “Broken Crown” by Mumford and Sons. 

▼ Do you keep your character in character even if they are one of the worst people in the world?

I guess I’ll talk about Clemcy this time? I honestly haven’t written him much yet, tbh. (For some reason I decided he shouldn’t remain in our thread, which in retrospect might be a lost opportunity...) But! The few times I’ve played him in Dungeons and Dragons, I had no troubles playing him as the underhanded slime ball that he is. xD

[crewofoddities]

Adrian lifts his gaze to his strange host when he speaks.

"Airing out my sins usually is a bit uncomfortable. " he replies, "part of me does, a part of me that's still somehow good. I have done it again since then and would in the furture if it was absolutely necessary despite the fact that its not something I enjoy doing." He explains.

He's not sure Clemcy is getting the answers he was hoping for, but Adrian is at least being completely honest with him.

"My life is survival and what I'll do to make it through the day. I do what i must to get by, and then eventually i die. Thats life."

He nibbles on some bread,

"I've never killed anyone though. That's where I draw the line. Im a thief not an assassin." He says, Clemcy is hard to read so Adrian felt the need to throw that out there.... just in case.

----

crewofoddities‌:

Adrian isn’t particularly sure how he feels about Clemcy’s demeanor at the moment, he both admired the man’s ability to become almost impossible to read and he also hated it. Still he watches him intently, for well… anything that might indicate what he might be thinking or feeling, anything really.

Adrian certainly can’t hide his look of curiousity when Clemcy mentions precautions to his alcoholism without so much as even a small indicator of what those ‘precautions’ were. Hopefully not AA meetings. Adrian’s been to a few of those and they were pretty major drags. At least in his opinion, maybe because he didn’t see the point in bettering his life and didn’t want the help.

He shrugs a little as Clemcy speaks again “Well that might come in handy at some point if you decide to use me.” He mumbles, pausing and he chuckles softly. Less of an amused chuckle and more of one that indicates he has manipulates people to get what he wants a lot.

“Alright well..” he taps his fingers as he tries to recall one of his favorite instances of this. “I needed a place to stay, Alright. Fairly cheap, but most places as you can imagine are way out of my paygrade. Those nasty cheap hotels are where I usually end up. “ he explains “I was about 27, and I didn’t have money to pay for another week. I hadn’t been feeling well and couldn’t do much to.. make… money. Soo”

He hums, clearly it’s something he’s not particularly proud of “I got a little chummy with the guy that runs the place. Nice guy, married and had three kids. Not sure how he got stuck running a dump like that.” He says “anyway, I got chummy with him, and we got pretty close.. and uh… he may have cheated on his wife. And I may have used that and a few other things against him to let me stay at the place free until I could get the hell out of dodge” he says, sort of averting his gaze

“It worked. He let me stay free for a month and a half before I was finally able to leave. He even gave me money, but I’m pretty sure that was just to get me out of his hair faster. As promised, I left when I could and He got to keep his family… well so far as I know.”

He’s silent for a while “If the blackmail wasn’t enough, if he tried to kick me out sooner or if he got upset with me I may have guilt tripped him a few times. That might also be part of the reason he gave me money too.” Adrian looks back at clemcy “I’ve done similar a few times. It seemed to be my best bet for shelter and food, sometimes money,” speaking of drinking and shameful memories, he’s tempted to get a drink now. Leave a bitter taste in his mouth that isn’t the fucked up shit he’s done.

It sucks to be a criminal with a conscious, “He actually believed I cared about him too, but I learned to stay detached because of things like that.” Although sometimes he does get attached, and it does hurt a bit when he inevitably stabs them in the back.

——

Clemcy listens to the story in silence, watching Adrian’s slow shame-filled withdrawal with distant interest. A month and a half; not exactly a long con, but certainly more involved than a passing scam, and with far more personal contact than the blackmailing method Adrian had tried on Clemcy himself. It’s a good start, and Clemcy gives an approving nod as Adrian mentions guilt tripping as a back-up.

As the man finishes and looks back to him, Clemcy lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head slightly, his eyes narrowing. “You seem uncomfortable,” he observes. “Do you regret what you did? Would you be willing to do it again?”

[crewofoddities]

He listens to Clemcy as he speaks, Adrian tilts his head in interest. His eyes narrowing when Clemcy asks his first question. He sighs and leans back.

“Sort of? I am not motivated by drugs, like if I see some dope on the street I’m not going to lose all focus just to get high. However in my free time I do smoke some recreational stuff. I am considered an alcoholic. I have depression, anxiety, which usually presents itself as apathy. Hence my lousy self preservation. I have triggers like anyone else with anxiety. I hate small crowded places, and get sensory overload, I also hate really loud sudden noises.” He says “I take sleep medication, because I won’t sleep much otherwise and stuff for my anxiety and depression. I’m also on hormone therapy, if that’s even relevant to your question.” He says.

Adrian is a little suspicious, but Clemcy said not to lie and even if he hadn’t, Adrian had little reason to. He wanted to make money but if clemcy had no use for him then he’d just go back to doing what he was doing before. Blackmailing people and picking their pockets.

Adrian takes a drink from his glass of water, both curious and dreading whatever the next questions are going to be. Wanting to know about that stuff seemed standard for an employer so he didn’t think much of it. He was curious if Clemcy was bluffing about knowing if he lied. How would he know..? Adrian likes to think he has a damn good poker face. He tries not to think about it too much though, honestly he doesn’t have a whole lot to lose so he didn’t feel like it was necessary To try and analyze things too much.

———

crewofoddities‌:

Adrian hums as he digs into the chips and salsa appetizer they brought everyone upon seating. He knows his story isn’t uncommon and that he’s just like millions of other people, still he must be good at something to pique this guy’s interest. Wonder why someone like him would want to or even consider hiring a passively suicidal trainwreck like himself.

He knew this wasn’t a pity move. In the hour or so he’s known Clemcy, Adrian knows he’s not the charitable type. This will benefit him somehow. Obviously- he gets information. Adrian was basically being interviewed to be a pocket thug. Or at least- that’s what he’s assuming.

He continues to stuff his face with corn chips and dip like he’s not had a proper meal in days, while also listening to Clemcy. When he’s not got his gob full of food he replies,

“Yeah I figured as much.” He says wiping his face with a napkin.

“Oh I’m definitely interested to a degree.” He replies, “Especially if I’m going to need some additional training. I mean I know I’m not a master criminal. But this makes me feel like I’m about to become some sort of criminal agent.”

Oh Adrian. He clears his throat awkwardly, “Anyways.. er ask away. Depending on the nature of your questions, I’ll probably have a few of my own. But I’ll wait until you’re done to ask.” He says. He hopes whatever questions he has For clemcy will be answered soon as he continues to explain his expectations and the requirements for this… ‘job’ he was offering.

———

Adrian’s right; this definitely isn’t a pity move. But when presented with someone that’s calm under odd circumstances, has skills he can use, and is in a financial situation that affords Clemcy quite a lot of control, he’s not going to pass up the opportunity.

…That, and Clemcy hates taking a loss. If he can mold Adrian into something that’s even marginally useful to himself, that’s far less of a waste than spending the whole evening finding and destroying or neutralizing all of the man’s records and accomplices.

Clemcy waits patiently for Adrian to finish eating long enough to reply to him. He snorts softly at Adrian’s agent comment, but refrains from commenting. Barely.

“Very good,” he says. “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll warn you now, I will know if you lie at any point, and it will accomplish very little except to annoy me and to waste both of our time. As with any job interview, consider that you should be evaluating whether this is something that will fit you, not just working to give me the answers that you think that I might want. And in my case, I will be tailoring the assignments that I give you based on your suitability for them. So, again. Don’t waste my time.”

Clemcy hooks one arm over the back of his chair and gestures languidly with the other. “We’ll start off simply. Any addictions, compulsions, or other mental health issues with triggers? Alcohol, prescription medication, street drugs, sex, kleptomania, OCD, PTSD–I really don’t care what it is, but I need to know if there are any specific circumstances under which you already know that you will not be able to reliably control yourself.” ——

[crewofoddities]

Adrian listens to him and shrugs “Too bad you’re not married and trying to hide a mistress. I usually target those sleezebags.” He replies calmly

“You weren’t easy. Trying to get the evidence of these lowlives you’ve associated with was the hard part. Being discrete with pictures was hard. And recorders. Getting close is easy if you have twenty bucks and an eager kid at least”

He smirks, seemingly unphazed by Clemcy eyeing him. He can’t tell if Clemcy is trying to figure out whether or not he’s bluffing or if he’s just sizing him up. If anything happens at least Adrian isn’t defenseless. He has a knife at the very least.

Most business types were the same depending on how important their job was and how far up the food chain they were. Credibility and public image was everything and easy enough to smear with bold claims and vague evidence. Easy to demolish with bolder claims and solid proof.

Adrian sighs, “fortunately I come prepared.”

He unzips his hoodie and pulls out the file.

“This evidence to back up my bold claims? Yep.” He looks at the folder and back to Clemcy “I suppose to want to see it for yourself?” He offers it to him.

crewofoddities:

He’s cautious, guard is up, eyes watching the other closely for any signs f sudden or suspicious movements. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has pulled a gun on Adrian thinking he was there to rob them or something. The other man seems unarmed, but there were still weapons he could easily hide in his current choice of clothing. Clothes one wouldn’t expect of someone important and more the kind of person to find crawling in back alleyways like some kind of rodent. Adrian rolls his eyes, 

���I call bullshit” He checks his watch, “I think meeting someone is more likely. You don’t appear to have a dog… at least if you do you’re not the one that takes it out. I am not here to be pleasant. What I want isn’t gained through flattery or being polite. I know what you’re involved in, perhaps not directly, but you certainly don’t do much to put an end to them either. meetings with shady drug dealers, human traffickers..”  Adrian whistles, “I’ve got all the evidence I need to smear you, Clemcy, photographs, recordings..”  He takes a step closer  “I might be persuaded to keep it away from the public eye however. Be a shame for you to lose your credibility and such… might cause some issues for your business despite it seeming to be perfectly legal… but of course with a guy who frequently associates with the scum of the earth, how could anyone justify doing any kind of business with you should any of these things be made public.” 

Clemcy listens with a mild expression on his face, head tilting slightly. He doesn’t flinch at all when Adrian steps closer, just holds his ground and forces the other man to deal with the violation of personal space that he’d created. “You have me all worked out, do you? Hmm.”

This could be a bit of a mess, actually. Whether or not the man has any definitive proof is besides the point; all he’d need is enough evidence to cast suspicion. Public images rely on the appearance of upstanding citizenry; it wouldn’t take evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt to ruin Clemcy’s credibility, just a compelling story and enough tantalizingly ambiguous evidence to prop it up with.

Nothing Clemcy can’t handle if worst comes to worst, but working his way far enough into this man’s mind to get him to dispose of whatever evidence and contingency plans he might have prepared and have no memory of these events isn’t exactly how Clemcy had planned to spend the evening. Or the week, for that matter, depending on how stubborn of a case the would-be blackmailer might prove to be.

And besides, it would be such a waste–if the man is telling the truth. After all, while Clemcy has apparently been clumsier than he’d thought if the man has been able to get this far without him noticing, this man is still the first person to have caught on to anything, or at least to have gathered enough evidence to feel confident enough to do something with it. He obviously has some amount of skill, so long as he isn’t bluffing. 

Clemcy eyes him, one eyebrow raised. “You’re throwing some pretty wild claims against my associates. I don’t suppose you have any proof that you actually have this supposed evidence?”