#ic | this memory ignites

[puckpocketed]

revamped my custom theme, added about page with a little intro to the blog! woohoo!

[deathfavor]

TAG DROP 3.

[theetherealbloom]

CLOSE TO YOU

Summary: A commute crush turned meet cute with Pedro Pascal

Paring: Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader

Warnings: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, Commute Crush, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Angst, Meet-Cute, Swearing, Anxiety, Surrounded by A-Listers, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Alcohol, Club/Bar Setting

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Happy Close To You release day! I’ve waited for this song since 2018 LMAO. Usually, I don’t write about real-life people, but I really can’t help it since this song is SO Pedro Pascal-coded. Just know that this is fictional and if this isn’t for you, you don’t have to read it! Keep scrolling :> And for those who stay to read this delusion of a fic, hey girlieeee I see you <3 

P.S. I’ll be doing a bunch of fics related to Gracie’s new album that comes out next week!

Song: Close To You by Gracie Abrams

| Main Masterlist |

It all began as a harmless crush on your morning commute. The New York subway was your daily stage, a bustling backdrop as you headed to meet a client. As a social media coordinator, your days revolved around managing high-profile partnerships, coordinating with celebrities and Instagram influencers to craft campaigns that seamlessly blended their brands with consumer appeal. 

But today was different. And of course, you recognized him. 

You noticed him immediately – Pedro Pascal, seated right in front of you. Lost in his book, with a iced quad espresso in a venti cup with extra ice and six shots cradled in his hand, he exuded an effortless charm. His dark, curly hair framed those whisky eyes that glanced up and met yours. Just for a second, you were frozen in time, captivated by his gaze. You quickly looked away, not wanting to seem rude, yet feeling the familiar flutter of a crush brewing.

Did he smile? You swore he did, and your heart skipped a beat. The train doors opened, announcing your stop. Reluctantly, you stepped off, joining the throng of commuters spilling onto the platform. As you ascended the steps, the city's vibrant energy washed over you, but your mind was elsewhere.

Walking towards the restaurant for your client meeting, your thoughts kept drifting back to him. The way his presence ignited a spark within you, a longing that seemed almost irrational. Here you were, burning for a man who didn't even know your name. And yet, in the anonymity of the subway, a fleeting connection had stirred something deep inside you.

It had been a few weeks since that subway encounter, the memory of Pedro Pascal’s whisky eyes lingering in your mind. In the meantime, you had started managing social media for Sarah Paulson, whose busy schedule had her juggling multiple projects and interviews.

Sarah's latest project, a Broadway play titled Appropriate, was garnering critical acclaim and several award nominations. Your job was to promote her involvement, ensuring every post captured the essence of her talent and the play’s success. Though you hadn't been working with her long, you were pleasantly surprised when she invited you to watch one of her performances.

That night, you arrived early at the Belasco Theatre, adorned in your favorite long dress and practical flats, mindful of the commute back to your apartment. Ushered to a seat close to the front, you settled into the plush red velvet, feeling a mix of excitement and anticipation. As the audience trickled in, you busied yourself with casual texts to friends before putting your phone away, taking in the theatre's intricate architecture and the stage's grandeur.

Moments later, an usher guided someone to the seat next to you. Curiosity made you glance to your right, and there he was—Pedro Pascal, settling in beside you. Your eyes widened in recognition before you quickly looked away, a quiet panic bubbling in your stomach and tightening your chest. You fidgeted with your fingers, a nervous habit, trying to quell the flurry of emotions and resist the urge to stare.

As the house lights dimmed and the show began, you couldn’t help but steal occasional glances at him. The man who had unknowingly captured your heart was now mere inches away. The performance on stage was captivating, but you found yourself equally entranced by the man sitting next to you. In the soft glow of the theatre lights, you wondered if he remembered that brief moment on the subway, and if fate had just given you a second chance to connect.

When the show ended and the cast took their bows, the theatre erupted in applause. Pedro, sitting right next to you, cheered loudly when Sarah stood with the rest of the cast on stage. His genuine enthusiasm for his friend made you smile, and as you glanced at him, he looked down at you with a radiant grin. 

Your heart raced, and for a moment, you felt a concrete connection that was almost tangible. Both of you opened your mouths to speak, but just then, an usher cleared their throat, drawing your attention.

“Mr. Pascal, Sarah Paulson is asking for you backstage… if you would follow me, please,” the usher said, causing Pedro to hesitate, torn between staying with you and fulfilling his friend's request.

“Uh,” Pedro began, glancing between you and the usher. Seeing his dilemma, you made the decision for him. Gathering your things, you offered a polite smile to both Pedro and the starstruck usher.

As Pedro glanced back at the usher, you seized the moment to make your getaway. You might have heard him call out, "Wait!" but you didn't stop. Stepping out onto the bustling street, the city lights of Broadway twinkled around you, a stark contrast to the growing ache in your heart.

The possibility of what might have been gnawed at you, the fleeting connection slipping through your fingers. A voice in the back of your mind echoed doubts, whispering that you didn't quite belong in this world of beautiful, glamorous people. You tried to shake off the feeling, but the bittersweet sting lingered.

You begin to walk away from the theatre, weaving through the crowd lined up for autographs by the backstage door. Just as you're about to cross the street to catch your subway, your phone vibrates in your clutch. Stepping aside, you see Sarah Paulson’s name flashing on the screen.

Shit. 

You quickly answer, praying your voice doesn't betray your nerves. "Hello?"

"Hey!" Sarah's voice is warm and enthusiastic. "How are you? Did you enjoy the show?"

"Yeah, I did! You were absolutely incredible," you say, offering genuine praise and shifting your weight to your other leg.

"Thank you so much! Oh, where are you right now? Are you still nearby? I had told the usher to bring you backstage with Pedro, but it seems like they forgot."

"Oh, um, yeah, I'm near the backstage door," you reply, glancing at the crowd still waiting for autographs.

"Perfect! Some of us are going out for drinks later, and you are welcome to join us!" Sarah’s excitement is infectious.

You stammer, "Uh, I..."

"It'll be great! I promise. I'll introduce you to everyone. You're my best social media manager by far."

Taking a deep breath, you muster, "Okay, yeah, I'd love to come."

"Great! I'll send you the address of where we're headed. We'll meet you there!" Sarah says, her smile practically audible.

"Alright, see you soon." You end the call with a click, clutching your phone tightly as you take another deep breath to steady your nerves and keep the world from spinning.

A ping alerts you to a new message. Glancing at the notification, you read the address and know exactly where to go. With a mixture of excitement and anxiety, you put away your phone and head towards the bar, the city's lights guiding your way.

It took you a while to figure out how to get there, but eventually, you arrive at the bar. As you step inside, a warm hum fills your body, the lights and the pulse of music thrumming through the room. The smoky, dark atmosphere feels electric, bodies moving in a rhythm that seems to make the air itself burn. 

Under the soft pink light, everything seems slightly surreal, yet oddly perfect. You spot Sarah, who immediately pulls you into a warm hug, which you happily accept. As you exchange pleasantries near their table, you feel at ease, enjoying the camaraderie. 

Then, suddenly, you sense a shift. You glance up and see Pedro looking right back at you. Your heart skips a beat as your eyes meet, and in that instant, the crowded room seems to fade away. 

There he is, the man who had unknowingly captured your heart, his gaze steady and intense. As Sarah guides you over to introduce the rest of her friends, castmates, and of course, Pedro, you feel a pull between the two of you.

You muster the courage to speak, telling him your name, and even through the loud speakers and endless chatter, you hear him say your name with a breathless relief. Finally meeting the mystery girl he saw on the subway seems to have stirred something within him.

When you shake hands, there's a lingering touch, a silent acknowledgment of the connection between you. You can't help but duck your head a little, feeling shy under the intensity of his gaze. 

"Nice to finally meet you," Pedro says, his voice soft yet filled with warmth.

"Likewise," you reply, your own voice tinged with a hint of nervousness.

In that brief exchange, you both sense something unspoken, a silent understanding that this meeting is more than just chance. And as the night unfolds, amidst the laughter and music, you find yourself drawn to him, unable to resist the magnetic pull of fate.

As Sarah goes to mingle with the rest of the group, you both stand there, caught in a moment suspended in time. The air crackles with anticipation, and you can't shake the feeling that if you asked him to, he'd give up everything just to be close to you.

"You have a way of lighting up a room," he says, his voice low and full of sincerity as he leans in closer.

A blush creeps up your cheeks at his words, and you find yourself smiling despite yourself. "And you have a way of making me feel like I'm the only one in it," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

As the night wears on, you find yourself completely enchanted by Pedro. His easy charm and quick wit captivate you, and it's as if the two of you are in your own little world, separate from the chaos of the club.

He tells you stories about his acting career and his passion for music. You share your dreams and aspirations, feeling a sense of comfort in his presence that you've never experienced with anyone before.

Throughout the night, there are moments where your hands brush against each other or your eyes meet in a lingering gaze. Each time it happens, a spark of electricity shoots through your body, igniting a fire within you.

At one point, he leans in closer to whisper in your ear over the loud music. "I have a confession to make," he says, his warm breath tickling your skin.

You turn to face him, your heart racing with anticipation.

He chuckles softly, the sound sending a delightful shiver down your spine. "I can't deny that you've caught my attention since the moment I saw you on the subway."

The admission sends your heart racing, and you can't help but feel a surge of boldness. "Funny, because you've been on my mind ever since," you confess, meeting his gaze with newfound confidence.

His eyes light up with a mixture of surprise and delight, and you can't help but be drawn to the way his lips curl into a playful smirk. "Is that so?" he teases, his voice a low, husky whisper that sends a shiver down your spine.

You nod, feeling a rush of exhilaration coursing through your veins. "Absolutely," you reply, unable to tear your gaze away from his captivating stare.

Before you can say another word, he takes a step closer, his movements slow and deliberate, like a dance choreographed just for the two of you. Your breath catches in your throat as his hand brushes against your neck, sending tingles of anticipation racing across your skin.

And then, in a moment that feels like it's been plucked straight from a romance film, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. Time seems to stand still as you melt into his embrace, the world around you fading away until there's nothing left but the two of you.

As you pull away, breathless and exhilarated, a sense of euphoria washes over you, like a chemical override in ultraviolet. "I just wanna be close to you," he murmurs, his words sending a thrill through your entire being. A smile dances at the corners of your lips as you revel in the electric connection between you.

"And you could be mine tonight," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, the words tinged with a hint of playful flirtation.

He chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with affection as he leans in closer. "I think I could get used to being yours," he says, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity, melting away any lingering doubts or fears.

He can't wait to fall in love with you.

[cailinsblog]

Yours to keep: A Jersey of the Heart- Quinn hughes

Quinn hughes x reader

Warnings; Mild Jealousy:

Otherwise, the story is sweet, light-hearted, and focused on romance.

The air in the Rogers Arena buzzed with anticipation as the New Jersey Devils faced off against the Vancouver Canucks. The crowd was a sea of blue and green, but Y/N stood out in her black and red Devils jersey. The name "Hughes" was stitched proudly across the back—but it wasn’t Quinn’s. Instead, it was his brother, Jack’s, and Quinn couldn’t take his eyes off it.

Sitting in the box with a few other friends, Y/N had no idea that Jack's request had caused such a storm inside Quinn. Jack had asked her, as a joke—or maybe not—to wear his jersey to the game. Quinn knew Jack had always been a little cheeky, especially when it came to teasing his older brother, but this? This was too far.

Quinn had always known he had feelings for Y/N. She was his best friend, but she was more than that. They’d grown up together, shared so many memories, and no one made him feel as alive as she did. But neither of them had ever crossed that line, both too scared of what might happen to their friendship.

Jack, of course, had figured it out months ago. The younger Hughes brother was always one step ahead when it came to reading people, and lately, Jack had been pushing Quinn to confess his feelings. But Quinn wasn’t ready—or at least, he thought he wasn’t. Until tonight.

Seeing Y/N in Jack’s jersey ignited something inside him. He was suddenly filled with jealousy that he couldn’t shake. His brother knew how much Y/N meant to him, and yet Jack had asked her to wear his number. It was driving Quinn crazy.

The buzzer sounded, signaling the break between the first and second periods. Quinn skated off the ice, his mind not on the game but on Y/N, on how much he wanted her to be wearing his name, not Jack’s. He couldn’t wait any longer.

As soon as he got into the locker room, Quinn grabbed his phone and texted Y/N.

Quinn: "Come down to the locker room. Now."

Y/N felt her phone buzz and saw the message. A little confused, she glanced around at the other fans, then at Jack on the ice. Maybe Quinn needed something? Without thinking much of it, she made her way down to where the Canucks’ locker room was located.

As soon as Y/N entered the hallway, Quinn was waiting, still in half of his gear, breathing a little faster than usual—not from exertion, but from nerves.

“Hey, everything okay?” Y/N asked, tilting her head in concern.

Quinn didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at the jersey she was wearing, Jack’s jersey, and the jealousy flared up again. Without a word, he reached out and tugged her into the locker room, the door shutting behind them.

“Quinn, what are you—” Y/N started, but Quinn had already moved to his stall and grabbed an extra Canucks jersey with his number on it.

“Here,” he said, handing it to her. “Put this on.”

Y/N blinked in surprise, looking between the jersey in his hand and his serious expression. “What? Why?”

“Because I can’t stand seeing you in Jack’s jersey,” Quinn muttered, his eyes softening as he finally confessed what had been eating away at him all night. “You should be wearing mine.”

Y/N's breath caught in her throat. She looked down at the jersey she was wearing, and suddenly, it all made sense. Quinn wasn’t just upset that she was wearing Jack’s jersey; this was about something more. Something that had been brewing between them for years.

“Quinn…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. ��Are you jealous?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze. “Yeah. I am. I’ve been jealous for a while now, but seeing you in Jack’s jersey tonight…” He paused, then sighed, meeting her eyes again, vulnerability shining in his. “I like you, Y/N. A lot. And it’s been driving me crazy because I didn’t know if you felt the same. But I can’t just sit back anymore and watch.”

Y/N's heart raced, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as relief and warmth washed over her. “Quinn, I like you too. I always have. I was just scared to ruin what we have.”

Quinn took a step closer, his voice low and sincere. “You won’t ruin anything. I promise.”

He reached out, gently taking Jack’s jersey off her shoulders and tossing it somewhere in the corner of the locker room. Then, with a small, hopeful smile, he held out his own Canucks jersey.

“Wear mine,” he said softly.

Y/N’s heart fluttered as she took the jersey from him, slipping it on. It was a little big on her, but it felt right—like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

“There,” Quinn said, his smile growing. “Now you look perfect.”

Y/N couldn’t help but grin. “I always thought I looked perfect,” she teased, and Quinn chuckled, shaking his head.

“Yeah, you did,” he admitted, taking a step closer, his hand reaching up to cup her cheek. “But now you look even better.”

Before she could say anything else, Quinn leaned in, his lips brushing hers in a soft, tender kiss. It was everything Y/N had ever imagined and more. The kiss was sweet, a culmination of all the years of friendship and unspoken feelings.

When they finally pulled back, Quinn rested his forehead against hers, both of them smiling.

“I guess Jack’s going to kill me for stealing you away,” Quinn joked, though he didn’t sound too concerned.

Y/N laughed, her arms wrapping around his neck. “Jack will survive. Besides, I think he knew this was going to happen before we did.”

Quinn smiled, pulling her into another kiss, this one deeper, filled with all the emotions they had held back for so long. In that moment, it was just the two of them, the noise of the arena fading into the background.

From then on, Y/N was proudly wearing Quinn's name, not just on her back, but in her heart. And that was exactly how it was always meant to be

Please do send in request and reblog

[mysteria157]

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Black Fem Reader

CW: Profanity, Light Angst, Alcohol Consumption, Explicit Sexual Content, Missionary, Cowgirl, Fingering, Fingersucking, Cunnilingus, Slight Dom Reader (not much), Car Sex, Bathroom Sex

WC: ~16k (It's long so get some snacks)

Summary: 

Maybe you're single for a reason. You’re too outspoken and mean to men, too demanding with your expectations, and you refuse to settle for less. For the ones who aren't worth the air they breathe, you chew them up and spit them out. You savor the taste so you know what to avoid the next time.

So when he looks down at you with that devilish smirk and calls you 'Princess', you're determined to prove that Toji Fushiguro is no exception.

Notes: Hello! This is my first fic with Toji and I'm nervous to get it out here. The setting of this fic and the elements I incorporated connect a lot with my own childhood and the memories (not the interactions in this fic) that I had at family cookouts and get-togethers. Reblogs, likes, or comments are always appreciated! Happy reading!

Dividers: @royallaesthetics @eloquentmoon

Masterlist | Ao3 | Twitter | **Sequel**

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

“Can I get you a drink, princess?”

When you meet Toji Fushiguro for the first time, it’s on the fourth of July at your uncle’s house. It’s a big get-together at a two-story house located in the countryside. Every year he opens up his spacious home for a gathering of your extended family to bring excessive amounts of alcohol, play old school rap and R&B too loudly, devour delicious fucking food, and set off fireworks that have been collected since the beginning of the year. 

Your uncle has already made a home by the grill and taken control of the speakers after one of your younger cousins attempted to play something ‘a little too racy’ for his tastes. You’re pretty sure it was an Ice Cube song from the 90s that your uncle hates but is too proud to admit, so he lectures your cousin about ‘what young folks should be listening to’ instead. 

The smell of hamburgers and ribs has been teasing your nose for the past hour, and your hunger is borderline unbearable with each sniff. You avoid the allure of the long table of food because if you look, you’ll be three plates in before the meat is done. There’s coleslaw, baked beans, greens, and macaroni and cheese. Your favorite aunt also brought her potato salad and you know she’s going to make yellow cake with chocolate frosting fresh before the fireworks. You love it so much and you were deprived of it last year when you were called in to work at the last minute. You will get some today.

The backyard is expansive and well-maintained, and your cousins and aunts have already laid their claim on swanky cushions of the nice patio furniture. 

The one cousin you’re closest to in age and personality sits next to you on a large blanket a few yards away from the rising volume of your extended family. You were able to get a good ten minutes of conversation from her before her fiancé showed up and made a home inside of her mouth.

Your family normally has something to say about PDA—a stupid quip about acting ‘too grown’ even though you are both knocking on the door of thirty. But she doesn’t care—just like you, that’s why you like her so much even though her fiancé is sucking on her face like it’s his last day on Earth.

Shiu Kong is nice—gentle in his own way and carries himself with a bored air that seems to pull your cousin in. He’s enamored with her, practically folds in on himself when she’s around, and worships the ground she walks on. They’ve been together for a few years and you’ve never had a problem with him.

But that just might change today because he’s brought along a friend who has already ignited a flame of arousal and annoyance deep within your belly. From the moment Toji Fushiguro stepped into the backyard with Shiu, your family was transfixed. Your aunts can’t stop ogling, and your uncles and male cousins try to jokingly size him up.

“Oh honey why don’t you sit down, don’t be shy. Lemme get you something to drink.”

“That’s not steroids? It’s gotta be. Don’t play.”

“How much you bench?”

It’s annoying. So fucking annoying but you can’t help but agree. He’s a little older—maybe early thirties—but dangerously attractive.

Raven hair that reaches his ears, looks unbelievably soft and falls over emerald green eyes. A grey shirt hugs him too fucking deliciously for your comfort and dark jeans hug an ass that’s too fucking juicy. He’s a big man—a burly man and unfortunately, that’s how you like them.

Big, burly like a bear, respectful, and capable of making you feel small and protected but also valuing and worshipping you as a woman. Unfortunately, such men are hard to come by because you tend to intimidate them. You don’t tolerate disrespect in any form and quickly put men in their place if they try to undermine, belittle, or confuse protection with control. You know what you want, and you refuse to settle for less. 

They can’t stand it.

And right now, you can’t stand Toji. As he looks down at you with a well-worn smirk on his face, a smirk that suggests he has plenty of experience in situations like this, your irritation grows. He’s a smooth talker, confident in almost everything he says. His voice is deep, but melodic in a strangely feminine way that makes his words slide like silk down your back, and the minute you heard it, your thighs threatened to rub together. 

Definitely a smooth talker. But the nickname you don’t care for. 

Princess.

Like you’re a dainty little thing who will bat her eyelashes and call him Daddy. It makes your walls of self-defense rise even higher, and the gentle smile you had given Shiu when he first said hello moments ago transforms into the beginnings of a frown. 

Without hesitation, you rise to your feet, plant your wedges firm into the grass, and turn away from them before muttering, “I���m good.”

Toji simply shrugs; a gesture that annoys you even more because he doesn’t offer any other reaction that satisfies you. He settles into your previously vacated spot, leaning back on his hands. The jacket on his shoulders falls open and the sight of his shirt hugging his muscles is too much for you.

You inwardly curse as your eyes wander over his physique. Thick pectorals that you could easily rub your face against and make a pillow for yourself to sleep on stretch the fabric in a way that you’re sure it’ll rip. Abdominals tease just below the surface of his shirt that clings to him like a second skin. You want to lick between each one, press your teeth into the hard skin to make him wince and beg as you count each one.

Four, six, eight? 

Fuck.

You don’t show how you want to straighten your spine against the chill of being caught staring. That smirk is on his face again, tugging at the corner of his mouth. There’s a scar on the right side that slashes vertically over his top and bottom lip and you dislike the arousal that begins to boil between your legs from the sight. You wonder how he got it. If it was a fight, did he win? The thought of him wrestling another man to the floor and taking a cut to the face in the process shouldn’t arouse you, but god it does. 

His eyes make you think of moss as you watch them slide up your body, and it almost feels like invisible hands caressing you. They’re large and pale, littered with scars along the knuckles as they glide up your exposed chocolate legs, dip between your inner thighs, and caress the curves of your hips.

“See something you like?” 

He’s ogling you but has the nerve to try and put you on the spot? You have enough self-control to let logic worm through the rising lust inside of you. You sneer down at him, sharp enough for Shiu to visibly pale and your cousin to giggle at.

“To be honest, I don’t really see much.”

You don’t give him a chance to retort and you pretend not to hear the soft hum of nonchalance he throws back. You walk away from them, turning just in time to shield the way your eyes widen at the feel of your face and neck prickling with heat.

The moment you close the bathroom door inside your uncle’s house, the breath trapped within your lungs escapes in a rush. You press your forehead against the wood and the coolness of it offers only little relief to the burning of your skin. 

You turn your head and press your cheek against the wood so the cold surface can slide along your cheek as you open your eyes to take in your reflection.

Of course, Toji would ogle you. You’re confident enough to know your beauty.

A red sundress that hugs your curves, stops at your mid-thighs. Knotless braids with curled ends are piled on top of your head in a loose bun with a few strands that spill along your hairline.

You’re good-looking. But you’ve been out of practice with a man for a long time. Your last relationship ended when you caught him balls-deep in your coworker. You’re too shy to pursue a one-night stand and not detached enough for a situationship. 

However, you could risk it all for Toji and you hate that you’re entertaining the thought. You hate that you’re imagining him barging into the bathroom, bending you over the counter, and taking you from behind with his large hand digging into the small of your back and whispering how much of a good girl you are as you beg him to cum.

God, get yourself together.

To calm yourself down, you find solace in your uncle’s quiet kitchen. There’s only one person occupying it, your favorite aunt, who is heavily pregnant and working on the yellow cake that you’ve been thinking about all day. You use the opportunity to distract yourself and take over for her, shooing her away to relax in the backyard. 

You crack an egg against the off-white countertop, fractures splitting up the sides before spilling its contents into the silver mixing bowl in front of you. A self-deprecating thought slithers in your ears, and whispers loudly with wicked intention. 

Toji wouldn’t want a woman like you.

You’re too outspoken and mean to men, too demanding with your expectations. It pushes them all away, and although you normally take pride in keeping away those who aren’t worth your time, it can get lonely. 

To see your ex actively cheating on you was icing on a cake that was slowly cooking in an oven of your own self-doubt. You have standards, and while your friends consider you the voice of reason in their misfortunes with men, most members of your family think you’re too picky. You’re too much work, ‘you think you know everything’. 

“Men will always have a wandering eye, it’s up to you to keep them in check, girl.”

“Honey, I love you, but the more you pick apart a man, the less he will want to be around you.”

“They love it when you cook for them, girl. Take care of your man and keep him fed and you’ll keep him forever.”

Bullshit.

It’s bullshit to take care of a man in the same way his own mother does. It’s bullshit to lose all sense of self and independence, to wait on a man when he gives you less than nothing in return—when he can hardly give you the bare minimum. You don’t mind cooking for a man who takes care of you, who loves and values you, who would never hold you back and would encourage you when you can hardly encourage yourself.

But all the good ones are in relationships now, married with a few kids, and in your resolve to stay strong and weed out the bad to find the good, it’s left you a little bitter.

Most black families are old school, and yours is no exception. They hold ‘for better or worse’ a little too close to their heart. They cling to an ideal that a man runs the household down to the basics in a way that makes you uneasy and in your defense, you snap when you’re backed into a corner.

You love them, you truly do, but they probably will never understand just how aware you are of the world and how little you are willing to put up with the problematic things that others consider normal.

Your ex was great at first. But he got comfortable. And when he got comfortable, he got lazy, a little too controlling, and a little too frustrated when you asked for certain things in the bedroom. The only person who knows about your breakup is your mother, who had the gall to be out of the country for work, leaving you to fend for yourself for today. 

You watch as the batter spills on each side of your wooden spoon, parting and then falling back together like sand. In your reverie, you don’t notice a few of your relatives who have now entered the kitchen and are roaming through the fridge. You can hear one of your least favorite aunts—the bitchy one—playfully joking with someone, and whatever drivel comes out of her mouth makes that person laugh. It’s deep and suave enough to make a tingle of electricity stutter down your spine because you know it’s him.

Refusing to look in their direction, you continue mixing the batter until the lumps disappear.

“You been hiding in this kitchen for awhile now,” your aunt begins, Atlanta accent the most grating it’s ever been as she turns her gaze toward you. “You’re normally a little more talkative when your man is here. He not coming?”

There is not a trace of genuine concern in her tone. You and her bicker often; she presses your buttons and then gets mad when you press back. Your ex’s infidelity is ammunition you don’t want to give her, but being caught in a lie is something she would only treasure more to use against you later. 

You clear your throat and turn the spoon in the batter once, then twice before answering without looking her way.

“No, he actually came inside of my coworker a few weeks ago. So we split up.”

You can feel the noise before you hear it—a characteristic and sharp ‘mmm’ that seems to be ingrained in your family’s DNA. It makes your grip tighten on the wooden spoon, and you scrape along the bottom of the bowl until it screeches on the metal.

“You gotta watch out for this one, Toji. She’s always been an outspoken one. Too good for ‘em all and likes to be a little mean to her men.”

You scrape harder and then turn to her, a sickly sweet smile plastered on your face. 

“You’re right. The fact that I won’t settle for someone who will get bored with me after a few years makes me way too good for them. Should have turned the other cheek just like you did with your last husband. Or…was it the one before him?”

You catch the way Toji pulls his lips in to bite down on them, scar twitching as he fights to hold in a snicker.

Your aunt glares at you, purses her lips, and turns them to the side before pulling in a noise that has been passed down for generations. Her mother and her mother’s mother used the very same tactic to strike fear and insignificance in their children when they talked back. It’s a sucking of air between her teeth and the sound makes years of discipline from your own mother flash in your mind like you’re in the trenches of war. 

You know she wants to say something, and you can taste the ‘you always got something to say’ in the air before Toji slides from his perch against the counter and places a hand on your aunt’s shoulder.

“Let’s get you a drink, huh? Didn’t you say you wanted me to try the beer you brought in?” She throws you a knowing glare before letting Toji lead her away; because if there is one thing that will distract her from showing out, it’s letting a good-looking man touch her.

The shaking in your hands helps you sift in the dry ingredients—a mix of sugar, flour, and baking soda—into the batter. The breaths through your nostrils are heavy and thick with anger, and the corners of your eyes sting with heat. You whip the batter harder than necessary, your aunt’s words replaying in your mind like a broken record.

Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. Don’t—

The sight of a can of hard seltzer pressing onto the counter in front of you makes the ramblings in your mind stop. Familiar long fingers unfurl from the can and slide on the counter, their fingertips touching the edges of your mixing bowl in an effort to get to you.

“I would have given you a bottle of beer. But I had a feeling you might bash it over your aunt’s head.” He’s not wrong, and in your frustrated state, you consider his defense admirable. “I like a fight, but I’m a guest and the food looks good.” 

Your grip on the spoon loosens slightly as Toji leans casually against the refrigerator, arms crossed over bulging biceps that stretch the short sleeves of his shirt. His jacket is now gone, and you can’t help but notice the veins in his forearms that protrude, tempting you to lick against them.

It takes the sheer will to tear your eyes away and focus on pouring the batter into the bundt cake mold, observing as it fills the intricate crevices. 

“So he cheated? Most men are pigs.”

“But not you, huh?” you can’t help but retort, shaking the mold to disperse the air pockets that bubble on the surface.

In your peripheral, he shrugs. “I know what I like in a woman and once I get what I want, it makes no sense to look somewhere else unless she wants me gone. I’m a man…but I’m a loyal man.”

When you meet his emerald gaze, you can see a hint of pain and vulnerability that unsettles you, tilts you back on your heels from the force of his honesty. You reach for the can of seltzer and take a long swig to give yourself time to get your thoughts in order. The carbonation is sweet and fizzles along the sides of your tongue and down your throat. 

“So what is it you like in a woman, Toji?”

It’s a question that probably should have been left untouched, but your curiosity overpowers your restraint. You don’t want to go back outside, because if your aunt is still feeling particularly petty, she will say something that will only make you leave. And you don’t feel like letting your family win today. 

Toji’s strong gaze certainly isn’t helping. Those invisible hands slide along the crevices and dips of your body, stroking the small of your back before pressing featherlight against the back of your neck. The hairs rise in response, your skin prickling with gooseflesh. 

Unexpectedly, he pushes off the refrigerator and walks closer to you, and you’re too shocked to back away. Despite his imposing stature, you know he won’t harm you. There’s something about him that’s warm and inviting, soft and tender even though his exterior is hard lines and muscle. The two of you are now mere inches apart, and the air feels thin as if you’ve reached the summit of a mountain and struggle to breathe due to the change in altitude. 

Jet black locks graze against a rough cheek, the tips kissing the raised scar on the side of his mouth. Up close you can see his features more closely. His eyes are sharp and intense with deep green between his lids as if hiding a pearl in an oyster. Thin eyebrows make him look more serious and cutting and you’re swallowing back drool because your nose picks up a faint whiff of woodsy amber emitting from his body. It smells cheap—he’s put together in the most basic sense—but it still smells…good.

“I like a woman who knows what she’s about. Independent and doesn’t fuck around. Smart and pretty with curves I can grab and squeeze. Someone with some sass and isn’t afraid to put anyone in their place.”

He steps closer and your lungs heave in a desperate attempt to pull in air. The brush of the wall against your back makes you stutter out your exhale and you press your palms flat against the cool surface to keep you grounded.

“I like a woman with nice creamy brown skin that smells a little like the cake she’s baking…” Through the sea of delirium, you distantly realize that he’s describing you. “The red dress definitely is a bonus.”

That familiar smirk pulls against his lips again and your heart is thundering in your chest. You would be surprised if he couldn’t see it thumping erratically beneath the skin between what’s exposed of your cleavage. 

But this is just another trick in their book to get you in their bed. Or in the bathroom. Or over the kitchen counter.

And as much as you want to, you can’t give in. Because you’ll hate yourself tomorrow.

So you tilt your chin up at him and narrow your eyes at his amused expression. 

“Describing me in place of your ‘ideal woman’? That’s boring. Go use it on my bitchy aunt, she’s got fillers in her ass so that’s more curves for you to ‘grab and squeeze’ when she throws herself on you after the Hennessey kicks in.”

Toji’s eyes widen slightly before a harsh laugh barks from his mouth. It’s surprisingly nice on your ears and rattles the drums inside in a way that you don’t dislike. He pulls away from you, giving you a few more inches of space and the altitude in the air seems to level out enough for you to take an inconspicuous deep breath. 

“Nah, nothing against fillers, but I’m more of a natural man myself,” he admits.

“Cellulite and stretch marks?” you ask with a lift of a brow, teasing but…mildly curious.

You watch as that smile slowly slides on his face, teeth glittering and eyebrows raising. He looks like he’s hit the jackpot. 

“The whole package, princess.”

Biting the inside of your cheek to suppress a smile, you push down the lingering arousal in your stomach, refusing to let it simmer. He’s funny and you appreciate a man who loves the raw and often overlooked intricacies of a woman.

His response is disorienting, throwing you off balance, and you’re unsure of what to do next. Your usual response is to talk back, to take delight in a man fumbling when his own cards have been turned against him. But you can’t think of anything right now. 

You move around him to place the bundt cake mold into the oven, setting a timer with the plastic buttons above the stove. Snatching the seltzer from the counter, you lean back against the oven, putting a considerable distance between the two of you to think. 

Toji mimics your movements, retreating to the fridge to relax against it, folding his arms across his chest, and god he still takes up the room. Even though you’re further away, it still seems like you can smell the cologne as if it’s sitting right on the skin below your nose.

“Do your moves always work on women?” you ask before taking a good swig of your seltzer.

He shrugs in response and turns around to dig a beer from the fridge. You don’t bother to hold back the urge to leer at him. You want to grab his ass, listen to him squeal in surprise, and blush in embarrassment when you squeeze. The thought of digging your fingers into the skin of it as he fucks you nice and slow makes your mind short circuit, a computer rebooting and making a loud noise before frying out indefinitely.

“On the rare occasion that I happen to use them, yes they always work. But…obviously not on you.”

“I’m not easy to win over. You need to be worth my time.” Your eyes flicker up to his face before he turns around to face you.

He takes a swig of his beer and you watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow. The column of his throat is long and pale and you want to slide your tongue along the side to taste the saltiness of his skin.

“What’s it going to take?”

His interest in you is admirable, and a small part of you is giddy with the attention. But you’re nervous to give him an inch when most are quick to take a mile.

“I have a name so stop calling me princess. I’m not a royal, so unless you’re offering me land, money, or power, I don’t want to hear it.”

He barks out another laugh, his thick chest shaking and eyes closing as he throws his head back. You despise how good it sounds and you’re reminded of these moments when men seem so beautiful and wonderful before the ugliest parts of them are visible.

“What else?” he inquires, still chuckling as he takes another long sip.

“If you’re expecting sex from me, think again. I don’t do one-night stands or friends with benefits. It’s messy and I just don’t have the strength for it.”

He seems to consider your remark as if he has no choice but to weigh your stipulation before signing a contract. Then he smirks that devilish smirk that makes your cunt pulse between your thighs when you know damn well it shouldn’t. You cannot be this turned on by this man.

“Not even if I have a big dick?” he teases.

He’s annoying and you’re mildly disgusted but still willing to banter with him, so you grimace and roll your eyes. “What, you want me to take a look first before I make up my mind?”

He full-on grins, the fucker. “If that’s what it takes.”

But in true fashion, you bounce back with your own quip. “Public indecency is a crime and I also don’t like to look at cock until after I’ve eaten something. It’s nauseating.”

Laughter erupts from him once again, loud and boisterous that it seems to shake the oven against your back. He probably thinks you’re joking. But you’re not. Dick already looks alien. Looking at dick on purpose without any sense of arousal is pathological behavior. 

Your heart flips in your chest when he pushes off the refrigerator again, taking a swig of his beer as he saunters to you and the sight is criminal. Your fingers dig just slightly into the metal can in your hands, a faint pop emanating from it. 

“What are you bothering me for anyway,” you can’t help but ask, frustration coating your words as you frown more at yourself than at Toji. “I have so many other cousins here who are single and would love to get their hands on you.”

At first, he doesn’t respond, and in the silence, you struggle to take a full breath again. You don’t like that he’s so close to you, but you also love the way he smells and the way he looks at you as if you’re someone and not something to fucking eat. You’re a fucking mess. 

His head tilts slightly, and his hair follows the movement, brushing against his cheeks as his eyes take you in instead of scrutinizing you. 

The air feels thin again, and you ready yourself to leave when your pregnant aunt suddenly barges back into the kitchen and stops short at the scene. Toji takes a slow step back, not really bothering to fumble at being so close to you. You’re sure he doesn’t really care.

She’s your favorite for a reason because she understands. She’s not dismissive and mean and she simply smiles knowingly at you both before gesturing with her head towards the backdoor.

“Time to eat. Honey, why don’t you show Toji what’s what before your uncles steal everything.”

***

He stays close to you when you both make it outside, and you do your best to ignore your bitchy aunt’s gaze from her perch in one of the patio chairs. The spread of food makes your mouth water and you waste no time grabbing a plate for yourself and absentmindedly handing Toji one as well.

“I’ve never had some of this before,” he admits, and his voice is a little apprehensive from next to you as he takes everything in. It makes sense, this is probably his first cookout…his first black cookout at least. Strangely, you’re proud to be the one to guide him along.

“What is this?” he asks, pointing to the heavy helping of greens and ham hocks on his plate minutes later. You’re both at a small table alone and away from the noise.

“Collard greens…it’s a cabbage that’s cooked in a pot for a few hours with spices and broth. The ham hocks give it flavor, cook it before you add the greens so the meat falls off the bone better.” 

You bite your lip to keep from laughing as Toji gives them a wayward glance, an arch of a thin brow that makes his features more handsome than they should be, and then he takes a tentative bite before moaning sinfully in appreciation. The vertebrae of your spine lock in place, stiff with a sudden chill at the noise as you picture it slipping from his lips while you ride him until the hinges fall off. 

You take your own bite to stop anything stupid from coming out of your mouth.

You figure he has to eat to accommodate for his size but to see it in action is something else entirely. He finishes two plates in fifteen minutes and as he makes his way to get another serving, your bitch of an aunt speaks up from across the lawn.

“Why don’t you get up and get him another plate?”

Why don’t you shut the fuck up?

You grip the plastic fork in your hand tightly, digging into your diminishing potato salad and swallowing the vile that you want to throw her way. 

Make your man a plate before you make yours, get him a drink, get him another helping so he doesn’t have to, keep him fed.

Maybe this is why you’re single. You want to scream. You want—

“Don’t listen to her. You’re still eating, don’t move,” he levels, and you don’t miss the hint of irritation in his own voice as he gets up. “The same seltzer as before?” he asks, pointing to your drink that you didn’t realize was empty.

“I—”, you fumble before clearing your throat. “I like the strawberry one…if there’s any left.”

He shoots a wink your way and your body ignites with heat.

Your cousin worms her way over when Toji disappears, and you try your best to ignore the sly look on her face.

“Defending your honor from our bitchy aunt? My, my, the perfect recipe for your feminist heart.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you growl, shoving the last of the potato salad in your mouth. 

“He’s Shiu’s best friend. Moved here from Japan a few months ago and is living in the same city as you. It could be fate? You want his number?”

“Shut the fuck up,” you snap again, feeling exasperated but knowing that unless Shiu is here to stop her, she will talk until she’s tired or you’re swinging at her.

She giggles, undeterred and gearing up for more. “He’s single too. And you’ve got all our other cousins mad as hell because he won’t leave you alone.” You don’t reply, because you’re mildly intrigued and impressed with yourself. It’s nice to have the attention from someone so attractive; it’s just figuring out if he’s genuine that’s the headache. “When the music gets louder tonight…or when the fireworks go off, take him upstairs and fuck him on—”

“Didn’t I say—fuck you.”

She guffaws, loud and unabashed and it pulls a smile from the side of your mouth. You know she doesn’t mean it, you know that at gatherings like these, you’re the black sheep and she just wants you to enjoy yourself.

“Seriously though, cousin. Shiu doesn’t keep many around, but they’ve been friends since they were kids. That’s a good sign right?”

There’s some merit to it, but you still want to be careful.

And Toji Fushiguro makes it hard for you to be careful because he wants you around him all the time and is unashamed to show it. 

Later in the night when the music is booming old school hip hop that your uncle won’t shut up about (he’s drunk), your other uncles—and a few cousins they will definitely con—have a table already bustling with spades. At first, you’re unsure how they convinced Toji to join, but he’s partnered with one of your cousins who has no clue about the game, and you realize they just want Toji to lose so they can feel good.  

Feeling curious, you pretend to bring Toji a beer. He’s frowning down at the cards, irritated with his lips curled into a small scowl and your cousin is trying to act like he knows what to do, but his stupidity is palpable even from where you stand.

You offer him a beer and ignore the fact that the one on the table is still full. When he looks up at you, his sharp eyes hold you like a vice, frustration evaporating quickly before opportunity takes its place.

“Help me.” He doesn’t bother to hide the confusion in his voice and you can’t help the way your stomach flips. 

One of your uncle’s snickers. “She doesn’t know how to play.” You do. “But she can try.”

You’re so annoyed, and you want to snap at him but Toji is pulling you closer to him with a muscular arm before you can. You’re in his lap before you know it, sitting precariously on a thick thigh with your back pressed against a broad chest and you can’t breathe again. The fluctuating altitudes are making you lightheaded.

Any other time and you wouldn’t hesitate to turn around and knock a man’s teeth in for grabbing you. But against your better judgment, you relax into Toji instead. His cheap cologne smells way too fucking good, he’s so big and warm against your body and your throat is drying up like you’ve taken a big breath in the middle of the Sahara.

“Don’t grab me like that,” you can’t help but grumble, only mildly put off.

“I improvised.” It’s a feeble excuse wrapped around a heavenly chuckle in your ear and you pray to whoever is listening, mentally offering up a sacrificial lamb, anything to ensure you don’t drip all over his thigh. “Now help me win.”

You do. Three times. He's adamant about winning and you're sure he has a gambling problem. And if your legs go a little numb from sitting on his thigh or if you lean into the way his outside hand slides to hold the curve of your waist, you don’t complain about it.

***

“You don’t dance?” Toji asks an hour later, joining you on the blanket that you occupied when you first arrived. It’s almost sunset, and the orange of the sky covers half of the backyard as your family revels in their merriment.

You shrug at Toji’s question, gazing at members of your family who are dancing in the yard. One of your loudest uncles is boasting about the music as he teaches one of your cousins dance steps. That used to be you so many years ago, and the moves are like muscle memory as you watch them. One of your aunts takes over the stereo, beginning what will surely be an hour of reminding everyone of the greatest hits. 

You suddenly realize that it’s just you and Toji on the blanket. Your cousin and Shiu are off god knows where, and given her penchant for being a rebellious freak, she’s probably riding him on your uncle’s bed. The thought makes you shudder.

“Are you cold?” he probes, pulling you out of your thoughts.

It is cooler now, but that’s not why you were shivering. You’re ready to tell him no, to start shaking your head even as you watch him pull his own jacket off to place it over your shoulders. His hands smooth over your shoulders and down your arms as if securing it closer to your skin and your blood boils beneath your cheeks. Your skin isn’t light enough to show when you’re blushing, but you’re burning with nervousness.

“Stop being so nice to me,” you hiss instinctively, regretting the words as soon as they leave your mouth. The surprise is evident on his face and you immediately feel guilty. “I’m—I’ll only be mean to you in return.”

For the first time of the night, he looks angry. His eyebrows dip, the scar on his cheek twists with the harsh frown on his lips and he gives a severe ‘tch’ that makes you gape at him. “Why because you’re mean to men?” he snaps, impatient and free of any tease. 

It raises your hackles instantly, and you’re talking back before you know it. “Exactly. So why don’t you take a hint and stop trying to get into my pants—”

You feel a rough finger on the side of your cheek turn you further towards him, preventing you from looking at anything else.

“You just don’t like bullshit. Stop acting up and let me be nice to you.” 

For once, you don’t have anything to say even though your hand is twitching with the urge to slap the words from his mouth. You want to. It’s easy for you to fight back and push them away, you’re good at it. But you can’t fight the way his gaze seems to calm you down against your better judgment.

You pull your face from his hold and roll your shoulders, sliding out of his sharp gaze and turning back to your lively family. One of your cousins is arguing about why the Cowboys didn’t make it into the playoffs, and now everyone has something to say.

You pull in a deep breath, scolding yourself to relax just a little. He hasn’t been so bad, and you’re not one to make things intentionally difficult if a man is honestly trying. You’re still apprehensive about his intentions…but he is trying without being a beast. So you exhale your frustrations into the July air, calm down so your heart can steady its frantic pounding from the lingering scent of his cologne, and dig your fingers into your uncle’s well-kept grass.

“Fine. If I let you be nice to me…what would be the next thing you would say?”

You can’t look at him, but you feel his eyes on your body as you pluck a few blades of grass from the soil. The strands slide against the pads of your fingertips, rough and threatening to cut, before fluttering in the breeze when you release them. 

He’s grabbing you again, tenderly but possessively, sliding you into his embrace so your back is to his muscular chest, his chin rests on the side of your temple and his arms wrap around your waist. Your heart is back to leaping in your chest, pumping loud and fast in your ears, drowning out the music and arguing as if you’re underwater.

“How about you tell me about your family?” he suggests, voice unmuffled through the thickness of your hearing.

It’s a random ask, as if he wants to impress them, as if you’ve been dating for a long period of time and he wants to be prepared to meet them for the first time. The thought doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth, even though you know it would never be a reality anyway. You don’t know if he’s just joking and frankly, the feel of him against you is warmer than his jacket on your shoulders and you don’t want to leave.

So, if it means he can stay put, you give in. You tell him about your aunts, uncles, and cousins—where they are from and what they do. You share your traditions when you all get together and the small intricacies you all share. It’s incredibly personal…maybe even too intimate. But he listens, and hums to let you know he’s paying attention, and asks you questions as you talk.

Eventually, his cheek rests on the crown of your head against your braids and you surprisingly don’t mind at all. When you notice his arms wrapped around you, you get a better view of the scars on his arms and fingers, and there is a rising urge to ask how he got each one.

“So she’s been married twice?” his voice is low in your ear so you can only hear him in the noisy backyard. His breath smells faintly of the beer he finished an hour ago, and it slides along the skin of your neck hot and thick. You resist the urge to cant your neck to the side to give his breath more room to roam.

You nod. “She got the fillers after the first husband. Those brought in the second husband. Then he left her for some girl in Cali.”

“Cali?’ he questions, confused.

You snort softly. “California.” You elbow him and the bone slides against hard muscle. Dammit. “You don’t know your states?”

“I’m foreign, not stupid.” The laugh that bubbles from your chest is sharp and you can’t help the smile that pulls against your cheeks from it. “I know my states!” He sounds truly annoyed and for some reason that makes you laugh harder. “Florida, Kansas—”

“I’m not asking you to prove yourself!” you sputter around a giggle, shaking in his embrace. But he’s not listening.

“Montana, New York…there’s another one…the big one.”

You gawk, turning just a little to crane your head up at him. He looks down at you with an embarrassed expression, his cheeks a little rosy even though his lips are flickering with the urge to laugh. 

“I beg your finest pardon…the big one?”

The side of his face twists in the nastiest way, and he’s angry at being questioned. “Don’t—it’s the one down below!”

“In relation to what?”

His eyes narrow, emerald barely noticeable between thick lashes. You can sense his hold on you tightening slightly, his chest stutters in a huff and you realize with rising glee that he’s pouting. Normally you would revel in this…but—

“Texas,” you find yourself speaking up at him, voice soft and gentle on the edges. “The big one down below is Texas.”

He simply hums, his chest vibrating against your back, but his gaze is smoldering, taking you in and dipping down to your lips before flickering back up your eyes. You’re too hot now, his jacket against your skin too suffocating, your heart beating too fast against your ribcage.

You hate just how rebellious you like to be. “What, you gonna kiss me?”

The challenge is fleeting across his features and he leans down so quickly that you don’t have time to react. Your stomach flips with irritation at the implication that he would take from you without asking, and suddenly, you no longer want him touching you.

“I wouldn’t take it without asking,” he whispers in the small space between you both as if reading your thoughts. The tips of his raven locks brush against your cheek, there’s a slight kink in your neck from how you are looking up at him, but he’s so close that you don’t care. One of his hands skims up from your waist, caressing the curve of your ribs, and his thumb teasingly runs along the underside of your clothed breast. His touch is reactive in you, and you angle your body further into his actions. His gaze remains locked on yours, absorbing your very being without doing a thing and you’re fighting to stay in control.

“So can I?” he asks, voice deep with temptation. “Kiss you?”

You swallow the bucket of drool that has somehow pooled in the back of your throat in seconds. The thumping of your heart no longer fills your ears, replaced now by a deafening ringing, spurred by your growing desire as you open your mouth to respond. 

“I…depends…are you any good?”

He nonchalantly shrugs, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as his scarred lips twist into a smirk. He’s completely calm and you can tell if you told him no, he would leave it alone entirely. But he’s enjoying this, you can see it all over his face.

“Jury’s still out.”

You don’t trust yourself to say ‘yes’. Some part of you feels like if it comes out of your mouth, it will sound too desperate and you want to stay in control as much as you can. But, you could give yourself this. You’ve earned it. Just one kiss and then you could hide away until the fireworks and then use the noise as a cover to leave. After all, he’s hot. He’s been so nice and honest and the warning siren in your mind has long faded.

You deserve a reward.

So you nod, stiffly but enough for him to notice, and the air seems to thin out again when he leans in a little more.

“Toji!” one of your uncles calls out, severing through the heavy cloud of lust between you both like a knife. You recoil from his touch, his touch now only making you itchy, and you pull from his embrace so that his arms unravel and his jacket slides off your shoulders. The cooler air is freezing this time against your skin. “Come help me with the fireworks, would you?”

You don’t pay attention to his response, because you’re already up on your feet and making your way inside the house. Your body floods with the embarrassment and shame of being caught by your family…kissing a man that you’ve just met. You know you shouldn’t care…but it’s so easy for their behavior to rub off on you when you feel vulnerable.

***

Thankfully, no one is in the kitchen when you finally make it inside. The music dulls down when you close the backyard door and the ringing in your ears is now silent. 

You resolve to stay inside until the fireworks go off. No one is really paying attention to you anyway—most of them are drunk, others too absorbed in the music and gossip so it’s a perfect chance for you to duck away and show your face again next year.

Should you tell Toji goodbye?

No.

No, you hardly know the man. Just a few hours in good company and a kiss that almost happened that you probably would have let escalate. You probably would have let his tongue slide into your mouth. Probably would have let him pull you into one of the spare rooms, eat you out until you’re seeing stars, and then bend you over the edge of the bed to fuck you until he—

For fuck’s sake.

You yank open one of the kitchen cabinets in search of a glass. You need water because your body is piping hot. There’s a sheen of sweat on your neck beneath the layer of braids that fell when Toji laid his cheek on your head, and your hands are slick as they press into the counter to give you strength to peek into one of the lower shelves. Of course, the only one in the cabinet would be on the highest shelf. Of course, you’re too fucking short.

You climb onto the counter, knees digging into the off-white surface as you lift yourself up and peer into one of the higher shelves. You spot a glass, and you can have a heaping glass to cool yourself off enough to get you home. And then you can just use your vibrator once and go to sleep. Or twice. Or maybe a third time to get the thought of him out of your mind for the foreseeable future. 

Unbeknownst to you, he’s standing behind you. You didn’t even hear the back door open and close. But you catch a glimpse of a long, muscular arm reaching past your ear to grab the glass. You’re frozen, your fingers digging into the wooden shelf, unable to turn around and face him, even though you can feel his gaze hot on your skin.

Your plan is shattered, and you have no choice but to come up with an excuse to leave him. You’re combing through scenarios in your mind as you slowly slide down and perch yourself on the countertop, finally facing him. He places the glass on the counter, away from you, and closes the distance between you until the ridges of his clothed abs brush against your knees. His hands are searing against your skin as they rest on your knees and you watch his thumbs trace an obscure pattern with a touch that is featherlight. 

“Your uncle interrupted us,” Toji finally speaks, his voice carrying a hint of hopefulness despite his attempt to maintain a neutral expression. His gaze, so harsh and sharp, is alluring in its own way, tempting you to relax the steady clench of your thighs.

“It probably wasn’t a good idea anyway,” you chuckle, self-deprecation rising to the surface of your skin and prickling against the pores.

“Why not?”

Maybe because you would be too much for him and scare him away? Maybe the fear of being too demanding in bed, of not being able to stop once he kisses you, lingers in your thoughts, making the idea of having him only once and never again infuriating.

“I’ll leave you alone, if that’s what you want. I’ll get you water and let you sneak away when the fireworks go off because I know you want to…even though you shouldn’t give a fuck about what your family thinks…but I would really like that kiss.”

Analyzing his features, you take in the sincerity reflected in the moss-green of his eyes. It’s a last-ditch effort to make sure something else isn’t hiding there, and you find yourself coming up short.

Slowly, you part your legs for him to stand between. His hands slide up your thighs tantalizingly slow, leaving a trail of fire in their wake before pushing the fabric of your red sundress up to your waist. You try to ignore the way the cool air on your panties does little to quell the heat radiating from them. His hands wrap around your waist and a gasp heaves from your lips when he yanks you to him, your thighs brushing the sides of his thick waist. 

One of the hands on your waist trails up to the side of your neck, gently tilting your head up, so you can look fully at him as his thumb traces the skin of your bottom lip.

“You better make it good,” you challenge, hoping your faux annoyance can mask the anticipation building in your gut.

He sees right through it and simply hums before he leans down to finally seal his lips against yours. He’s a big man, an overwhelming man, and you feel it in his kiss as his lips take every ounce of breath you have in your lungs. He tastes like the pound yellow cake that everyone got to before you could and a hint of beer and it’s the perfect combination that you want more of. 

His hands are under your dress, brushing beneath your thighs for traction and pulling you impossibly closer to the point where you feel your clothed center brush against the zipper of his jeans. You dig your hands into the fabric of his shirt, twisting and silently commanding for him to give you more. You open your mouth to coax him and his tongue is wet and insistent against yours.

You can feel your resolve dissipating in the air, fizzling against the heat that radiates from your body and your self-control is walking on a tightrope, precariously and seconds away from falling. And once it’s gone, you’ll be a woman unhinged.

He yanks you to him again as if its not enough, harder this time with a growl in the back of his throat that makes you gasp into his mouth, then rolls his hips against yours and behind his zipper you feel him hard and bulging and angry and oh—

You pull away with a harsh breath, gasping for air and biting back a moan that gurgles in your throat when his mouth works its way down the skin of your neck. Your skin is sensitive, and it buzzes with the touch of his lips and invokes a fervent need so deep within you that you’re losing awareness of where you are. You’re lightheaded, brain in the fucking stratosphere and you have to lay down, you have to—

He’s guiding you onto your back before you can do it yourself and the cool counter is a balm against the skin of your exposed shoulders and back. He looms over you from his place between your legs, big and muscular and reeking of hunger. 

“Toji,” you try to speak into the air, stifling a whimper at the sight of him stretching out your leg to rest on his shoulder.

One of his large hands caresses the canvas of your calf before you watch his lips kiss your chocolate skin. His rough scar scratches against you in the most delightful way as his mouth kisses up your calf, bends your leg to get closer, and then resumes his touch on the inside of your thigh. His face should be melting with the amount of heat emitting from between your legs, but he must relish in the burn because the second his tongue slides thick and wet against your clothed cunt, you whimper pathetically into the air.

You have just enough common sense to break from the desire to be fucked thoroughly to whisper.

“Toji, we can’t,” you swallow against the dryness in your throat. “Someone could see.”

You can feel the impatience on his body in waves but he has to listen to you. If your family were to walk in here right now to see their niece or cousin being eaten out like a gourmet meal, the Earth would swallow you whole.

“Shit,” he hisses, pulling you into his arms and carrying you out of the kitchen. You don’t care enough to tell him where to go; you’re too hot, too wet in your panties, and your need is twisting at the base of your spine in the most irritating way, begging to be soothed. 

You hear the beginnings of fireworks being popped off in the backyard and your family is loud, thankfully so loud as Toji locks the door to the bathroom and drops you unceremoniously onto the counter. Though the metal of the faucet digs into the small of your back and you fall into the mirror as you clamber to get yourself in order, you can’t bring yourself to care. He’s on you again, all teeth and lips and sinful tongue in your mouth with equally sinful hands digging impatiently into the sides of your panties.

“Take them off,” you demand, practically whining and in less than a second you can only get one leg out before he’s sinking to his knees, eyes wild and shoulders heaving with untamed breaths. 

“God, you’re so fucking wet. So damn pretty,” he whispers in reverence, throwing your legs over his shoulders, and the compliment makes your cunt throb in anticipation.

You can’t be sure if he’s talking to you or himself. Before you can breathe to calm yourself, it’s catching in your throat, hitching against a moan as his tongue licks a long wet stripe up the slit of your dripping cunt. His tongue parts your folds as if it’s the sea, savoring your essence and then sucking your clit into his mouth like it’s the cherry on top and you love it, whine at the feel, eyes crossing and rolling into the back of your head at the exquisite feeling.

He pulls away for a moment, taking a deep breath as if to regain control, and kisses the inside of your thigh before sliding two fingers up your dripping center, collecting your slick before beginning to rub circles on your clit. He’s mesmerized, and you take a moment to marvel at just how little of his green eyes are visible to you, his pupils are dilated with hunger and focused on the way your cunt moves with his fingers.

“Your bitch of an ex ever eat you out?”

You really don’t want to think about him right now, and you also don’t like the thought of someone feeling like they need to prove themselves to you.

But there’s a big man between your thighs who wants to unwrap you like candy. So you shrug, panting softly as you speak, “Every now and then.”

Toji scoffs, eyes seeming to darken like a forest at night.

“Every now and then,” he parrots, voice incredulous as if he’s heard the most insane thing ever, like he can’t believe it.

He increases the pressure on your clit harshly, causing you to buck against him, yelping in satisfied shock when he flicks your sensitive bud hard with his tongue.

“I’ll make you feel good, princess. Don’t you worry.” 

The nickname doesn’t have the effect as before. No, this time you moan in response, your guts churning with satisfaction at the prospect of being worshiped.

Slowly the two fingers on your clit slide into you, testing the waters, gauging if you’re okay, and your jaw slackens at the feel of the stretch. Fingering is an art, an act that requires patience and skill. You have to know the right pace, when to curl, how to know a woman’s body to determine what she wants. It’s glorious when it’s done right. 

And god, does Toji do it right.

He’s thorough and fluid in his strokes, using the tempo of your moans to curl at just the right time and sucking and licking your clit like he’s ravenous and your head is falling back into the space between your shoulder blades, eyes wide with disbelief as you stare at the ceiling. 

The fireworks are consistent outside, popping off every second and it’s loud enough that you have the courage to voice how Toji is making you feel. 

“Every now and then,” he hisses again to himself, angry and curling his fingers a little harder. You jerk against him, whimpering like a fool when you feel his tongue flick your clit harder as a reward. “He’s so fucking stupid. You taste so good, it’s unbelievable.”

He’s curling more now, brushing against that spongy wall that zings heat to your belly. Your insides churn, a molten heat popping to splatter against the base of your spine, pleasure coaxing you to reach that precipice that will let you fall apart. 

Vaguely you hear him whispering words into the skin of your thighs that you can’t decipher, the thrumming in your ears too loud to hear anything else beyond the fireworks outside, your escalating moans, and the obscene sounds of him slurping you up. The muscles in your thighs begin to tighten, your fingers are sweaty as they slide against the cool marble of the bathroom counter, and you dig your wedges into the muscles of his back, white panties dangling off one ankle. He’s so good, so thorough and your breath is hitching, choking on a moan.

“There you go princess, cum all over my fingers. Get me nice and messy.”

His deep words are accompanied by a sharp bend of his fingers and you’re cumming with a shout, rejoicing in the hot pleasure that puddles along your bones. It’s abrupt and overwhelming, pulling a sharp current down your body that makes your back arch until it bumps into the sink behind you. He’s groaning from his place between your legs, still pumping his fingers and licking your clit to collect as much of your slick as he can.

By the time you look down at him, you’re still catching your breath, your thighs tremble from the sudden chill injected into your muscles. You catch Toji just in time to watch him begin to slip his two dripping fingers into his mouth, but you snatch his wrist, riding off the high of your orgasm to slip his digits into your mouth instead. Thin rings of green widen in surprise and you savor the way his cheeks darken as you swirl your tongue around his digits.

“You’re unreal,” he gulps when you pop his fingers out of your mouth.

You shrug, not willing to show him just how powerful you feel, and wrap your legs around his waist, panties still caught on the buckle of one of your wedges. 

“I’m letting you be nice to me, remember? So what’s next?”

With a harsh pull, he stumbles closer to you, his hands slamming against the marble counter on either side of your waist. His breath hitches as you hastily undo his belt, eyes widening as he takes in the way you leer up at him. 

“You got me a drink, defended my honor from my bitchy aunt, asked me about my family, ate my pussy…you wanna fuck me now?”

“I—” he starts, caught off guard by your forwardness.

“You want to bend me over this counter, make me look in the mirror while I take your cock? Smack my ass and make me beg for you to fill me up?”

“You’ve got a mouth on you,” Toji chokes on a nervous laugh, hissing when your fingers graze the sensitive skin above his belt. 

“Is that a problem?”

The hair of his happy trail is faint and dark just like the hair on his head, and your touch makes his stomach bunch in sensation. He shakes his head in response and you want to laugh so bad at the sight of him struggling to swallow. You haven’t done anything to the man, but he’s sensitive to your touch, and that makes the blood in your veins sing.

“If you’re letting me have you, you can have it however you want.”

Arousal hums to life between your legs, and you can’t help but be turned on at how much he’s giving you. You want him now and while the prospect of being fucked over the counter was what you had hoped, if your family comes in and hears you taking it like a champ, you’ll never show your face again.

So when the door to your truck’s backseat closes, you’re climbing back on his lap, relaxing further into him with the knowledge that you can be as noisy as you want. Your uncle has a seven-month supply of fireworks and land in the middle of nowhere, Hennessey, and classics booming from his sound system… it’s going to be loud for a very long time. 

You’re running on your own current of desire at this point, pawing at his shirt so he can finally yank it off his shoulders and you’re drooling. He’s glorious and you don’t hesitate to rub your hands down firm pectorals, between the abs on his torso, and along the musculature of his Adonis belt. He’s cut like a marble statue, something that takes a painstaking process to hammer and smooth over until the result is almost—

“Let me take you out,” he suddenly suggests, voice gravelly with want but insistent.

Huh?

You’re immediately puzzled, eyebrows dipping into a furrow as you try to decipher his words. His hair is wild, black strands splintering and bushy but still giving you a gateway to his eyes and you see that he’s completely serious.

“On…a date?” A lift of his thin eyebrow in reply and the reality of him actually showing interest flags dangerously against your desire to ride him into oblivion. “Just the dopamine talking, I’m sure,” you say, hoping to dismiss the idea. You hadn’t expected him to actually…want to take you out. You can’t think about that right now because your head is too thick with hunger to try and have a conversation.

He hums, low and dangerous, a hand brushing the skin above your clit and you’re reminded of just how wet you still are from his sloppy tongue minutes before. 

“You’re the only one here that’s cum, princess. I’m being serious.”

“It’ll pass,” you reply immediately, licking into his mouth to shut him up.

Thankfully he doesn’t try to interject because you don’t have time to talk right now—you don’t want to. You don’t know Toji, not well enough. While tonight has been one of the most relaxed evenings you’ve spent with a man in a long time, you’re unsure if he genuinely wants you or if he’s merely carried away by the thrill of being with a woman.

He tried to come onto you the minute he laid eyes on you, tried to kiss you after a few hours, and pocketed your panties even though you pretended to be oblivious. You just don’t know. If you had a pretty girl in your lap, you would probably say the same things. Ask her on a date, make her feel wanted so she’s more giving when you slide her panties off.

It’ll pass.

And that’s what you tell yourself when you feel his large hands palm your ass beneath your sundress. You are teeth against him, nipping his tongue, biting the skin of his jaw, the meat of his neck, and the sharp groan that you pull from him in response makes you drip like a bitch in heat against his jeans.

“Take off your pants,” you whisper to him sharply, turning around and leaning over the center console to fish a condom from inside. You had discovered them months ago, and they should have been more than enough for you to dump your ex then.

“Shit,” you hear Toji hiss from behind you before your ass stings from his slap against it. You yelp, jumping from the contact and you hope he can see your cunt pulse from between your thighs in response. “Hurry up, baby.” 

When you face him again, you freeze, eyes widening at the sight of his cock. As you take him in, he snatches the condom from your hand and unfurls it on his cock.

Surprisingly trimmed with dark hair, he’s thick—not enough to be painful—but enough to enjoy the stretch so you can ride him until he flatlines and enjoy the ache in your thighs in the morning. It’s perfect; pale with a red tip that leaks into the tip of the condom, a vein along the side that you can’t lick without tasting latex. It’s a shame.  

He throws you that devilish smirk, eyes twinkling in pride before he taps his thigh and beckons you like the best ride at the carnival.

“Hop on, princess.”

Your fingers grip the hair at his nape when you feel him inside of you. It’s a delicious stretch that you have to breathe through, and the feel of his hands affectionately stroking your back catches you off guard. You don’t hate it; in fact, you want to lean into it, but you don’t want to give him any ammunition for something you aren’t sure about. So you slide down to the hilt and listen to Toji curse sharply through the sudden heat of you before you start a steady rhythm that throws him off.

Within seconds, you increase your pace, riding him with an intensity that makes the air in your throat catch and drag along the sides. He’s got a satisfying curve to him that grazes those magical spots within you to make the grip on his nape tighten like a vice. Your head is foggy with an overpowering mist that makes your mouth loose and your inhibitions low.

“You feel so good,” he whispers, pulling you out of the delirium you were basking in to focus on him. His jaw is relaxed, hot air puffing from between an open mouth and onto the skin of your neck, a few strands of his hair stick to his forehead and the sides of his cheeks and there’s a slight furrow to his thin eyebrows as if he’s trying to concentrate.

You’re giddy with desire. “Let me guess,” you tease, lips brushing against his. “Am I tight?”

“Yes,” he replies without hesitation, eyelids hooded and upper cheeks darkening with a blush that spreads down his neck.

“Am I nice and hot?”

“Yes, fuck yes, baby.” 

It’s meant to tease, because every man that has ever slid inside of you in the past says the same shit, but to hear it from him brings a strange sense of satisfaction that you find yourself slanting your lips against his. He still tastes like the yellow cake that you never got, but the flavor is intertwined with the remnants of your essence that still lingers on his tongue that dances with yours. 

You plant your knees harder into the seat on each side of him, use your muscles to bear down and give you more control, and then you roll your hips, guiding him in and out in a tantalizing dance that elicits groans from him and makes him roll his head back against the headrest.

“Let me take you out,” he gasps into the air and you refuse to answer him—you can’t. It’s harder now to believe his sincerity because he’s delirious with lust. “Answer me.”

You growl softly and yank your hands from his hair to push down the straps of your sundress. You’re not wearing a bra, and he cusses like he just stubbed his toe as he watches your breasts spill free.

“Stop talking,” you whisper and yank his head forward, beckoning him to you and he catches on quickly, licking and sucking a nipple before pulling it into his mouth. The sensation makes you shudder, a gentle pleasure that your cunt appreciates and you pick up your pace on him again. “Stop asking me. Just let me fuck you.”

He bites down in retaliation to pull a squeak from you and licks over the sting in a half-assed apology. When you look down, his gaze is illuminated by the streetlights, a harsh glare that showcases his annoyance with your deflection, but his eyes droop when you squeeze around him in response.

You’re stuffed full of him, stretching along the sides, punching the air out of your throat with each bounce on his cock and your legs begin to burn with the build-up of exertion. Your nipples are wet and sensitive against his taste buds as he teases each peak into his hot mouth and it helps to mix that pot of pleasure in your stomach to life again. 

You can feel it, like a crescendo of waves crashing against a dock, but the waves are coming in quicker and more turbulent with every moan and cry that falls from your lips. You push him off of your chest, dig your fingers into his shoulders for more leverage so you can ride his cock like you have nothing left to lose.

His chest is blooming red, covered in a light sheen of sweat that dips between his pectorals and pools in his collarbones. Your bun of braids came loose when he was eating you out in the bathroom, and now some are heavy on your skin with sweat and plaster over your shoulders and between your sternum and you’re hot and sweaty and trying so hard to reign it in. 

He doesn’t buck up into you and you’re unsure if it’s due to laziness or the fact that he simply wants to watch you while he brings himself closer to climax. You hope it’s the latter. 

“Do you like this?” you pant into his mouth and nip his bottom lip. “You can tell me, you know. Be a good boy and tell me just how I’m making you feel.”

He groans and lands another smack to your ass that makes you gasp and arch further into him. It's the right amount of pain that makes your pussy pulse in response, the right amount of manhandling that can take you higher in a second.

“You’re a natural, princess. You ever ride him like this?”

You shake your head and he smacks your ass again, harder this time and digs his fingertips into the flesh to let the sting linger. It's so good, and you can't help the whine that you puff against his lips as he smirks up at you with a proud disposition.

“He couldn’t handle it. Probably why he cheated wasn’t it? You were too much for him. You know how you like it and he couldn’t deliver.” 

You don’t answer him, but he’s right. He’s so right. He couldn’t stand it when you took control, hated when you asked him to do something that didn’t result in him being dominant, hated when he couldn’t even eat pussy without you having to ask. 

The feel of his fingers on your clit makes you jump and you poke your fingers into his nape again and pick up your pace, panting and moaning like you’re running a marathon as the pleasure rocks inside of you like a pendulum. 

“Oh god. Oh fuck, oh fuck,” you whisper, stomach burning.

You’re fluttering around him—pulsing and clenching and gushing over the thickest cock you’ve ever had and it’s glorious, you’re in fucking heaven.

The streetlight shines faintly into your truck, painting half of Toji’s face. He’s beautiful; that same annoying flicker of desire that captivated you when his green eyes met yours hours ago glimmers thin and dilated.

There’s a ruggedness to him that exudes masculinity, but glimpses into the depths of his eyes reveal a tender vulnerability that makes you wonder how soft he could be if he allowed you to get close enough.

The thought makes your cunt tighten around him, your thighs tense and fill with lactic acid and his fingers on your clit are unceasing, rubbing in a precise rhythm that makes you hiccup on a moan of incredulity. The hand not occupied with your clit is reclined across the headrest behind him and it makes him look unbearably sexy.

“I’ve never had a woman ride me like this,” he whispers, and you smile into his mouth, your kiss messy as you swallow down his compliment. He yanks you away and breathes that same insufferable ask against your lips.

“Let me take you out.” He rubs your clit faster, using the way you tighten around him as a guide to your pleasure, and his hand leaves the headrest to dig into the meat of your ass. “One chance. One dinner. I’ll give you what you deserve, whatever you want, princess. I promise just—”

“Stop it,” you whine and fight the burning sensation in your eyes. You’re so close, so fucking close and the storm inside of you is out of control but he won’t stop fucking talking. Won’t stop being so damn nice even though his cock is rearranging your guts in the nastiest way. You grip his hair and pull him closer to you so there’s no space between you to breathe. “Stop talking. Stop asking. Make yourself useful and make me cum.”

Thankfully he does. He scowls up at you behind the curtain of his hair but pinches your clit and you squeal, rolling your hips, riding him like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. The windows have already fogged up, the truck rocks with your movements, and you are consumed with a blissful incoherence that forces you to surrender and let your walls crumble.

Your thighs burn, your dress clings to your sweaty body, and the stimulation on your clit becomes almost unbearable as you whine with the need to cum. He hisses loudly into the car, bares his teeth for a second, and then his eyes roll before he’s slack-jawed and panting into stuffy air, a current of groans beneath.

“That’s it, Toji,” you gasp, voice strained as you teeter on the brink of an orgasm that threatens to overwhelm you. “Be nice to me just like you said and give me everything like the good boy you are.”

The hand not on your clit slips against the sweat on your hips, and you lick up the side of his neck, savoring the salt taste of his perspiration on his smooth skin, just in time to hear him. It’s faint and low, practically a whisper but he chants--

‘Fuck yes, fuck yes. So fucking good. Ride me, sweetheart.’

It’s tilted in a whine, pathetically desperate, but the sound of him does the trick because the flick of his fingers on your clit makes the biggest wave of pleasure crash over you.

You don’t get the chance to tell him you’re cumming, you simply yank his head back from the sudden force, tilt your head up to the ceiling and cum with an exhausted and wrung out ‘fuck!’ that you’re sure your uncle’s neighbors will hear a mile down the road. You’re dumbfounded with pleasure, dizzy with it and your belly is hot and simmering as you gasp and whimper at just how good it feels. 

He’s laying you back on the seat before you can catch your breath. You’re still coming down, still moaning to catch up but his large hands are under your knees and bending them towards your chest to chase his own orgasm. The edge of the seat digs into the crevice of your spine, and your hand flies out to smack against the back of the driver’s seat so you don’t fall but it slips with sweat, is hard to hold onto and you can hardly focus with everything that’s going on. 

His mouth is on you, stealing your breath that you still can’t control, swallowing your moans as he fucks you with a ferocity that pulls your soul from your body. He pulls away with a deep moan and stares down at you with a look that makes you anxious—like he wants to see you again, like he wants to come to another cookout with your rowdy family if it means he can bother you some more—like he really likes you. 

You know he’s going to try and say something that you may not be able to talk yourself out of, so you take the intense furrow in his eyebrows and the stuttering of his hips as a cue.

“You gonna cum?” you purr up at him, moaning weakly from the harsh thrusts that stroke you into overstimulation.

“Yes,” he answers without fail, eyes locked on yours. “Yes, I’m gonna cum. Fuck—”

Reaching up, you cup his cheek, unsure why but feeling an inexplicable need, and the words that fall from your lips help him across the finish line. 

“Cum inside me, Toji. Take what you want and fill me up.”

His eyes widen before they roll closed and he’s slamming against you three times hard and rough before the deepest moan you’ve ever heard slips past his lips. He pants heavily stuttering tiny thrusts into you as he comes down, the tips of his hair drip a few drops of sweat onto your neck before he lowers himself to rest on top of you. He’s too big for the seat and his knee digs into the floor of the truck to maintain his balance. His hot breath washes over your neck, slowly calming down, and in your daze, you realize that you’re holding onto his shoulders. 

The hard lines of Toji that you noted when you first saw him now feel gentle against you.

He rumbles your name into your neck and you’re cutting him off before the dopamine can speak for him. 

“We should get back inside before someone finally notices that we’ve been gone.” He abruptly lifts to look down at you, annoyance etched on his devastatingly handsome face. He wants to argue, you can taste it, but your fear wins. “My bitchy aunt has been at me all night, the last thing I need is her snooping.”

He’s quiet still, the edge of his lips curling into a dissatisfied frown. It stretches his scar in a way that takes away from the beauty of his face. Makes him look more alien and you have to pull your gaze from him. But he doesn’t argue like you think he would. He doesn’t speak or try to talk back or voice how annoyed he is.

He slowly pulls out of you and you immediately miss the feeling, ties off the condom, and pulls you up tenderly from the seat. Your skin is sticky and the truck reeks of sex. The high has worn off and all that remains is the overwhelming unease that rises like bile in the back of your throat. 

When you both are finally dressed and creeping out of the backseat, the cool air is a welcome feel to your overheated skin. It washes away your trepidation, if only for a moment. Toji looms over you, tall like a bear that you desperately want to sink your embrace back into, but he still doesn’t speak, and the crease of annoyance between his brows doesn’t leave. He should hold onto it. It will help him get over you. 

“Do you mind getting my purse from inside the house? I don’t want to go back inside just yet and I need to check my phone.”

Impatience emanates from his every pore, yet you can sense his anxiety as he shifts his weight from foot to foot. But he still doesn’t fight and makes his way back inside without a word.

You lied.

Your purse is in the front seat of your car—you threw it up there when you both snuck into the vehicle in the first place, but his attention was too busy trying to feel you up than pay attention to the satchel hanging off your shoulder. 

Once you see the front door close, you get into the front seat, start your car, and drive away without a second thought. Your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as the temptation to turn back tugs at you. 

It may not be right to leave without saying goodbye, and lying to him has left a bitter taste in your mouth. Your family is too occupied with the fireworks and each other’s company to really notice your absence anyway, and you’re sure they’ll have no problem trying to distract Toji when he realizes that you’re gone. 

The grip on the wheel doesn’t lessen, but you roll down the windows and let the evening July air wash away some of the sex that still lingers on the seats.

***

“So you did fuck him,” your cousin snickers over the speaker of your phone a week later. 

It’s a Saturday night and you’re knee-deep in your wash day routine. It took you all day to take out your braids and the clear shower cap on your head traps the deep conditioner inside. You wipe away some of the excess near your ear.

You have Chinese waiting to be delivered, and you’re ready to finish your routine so you can go to bed. Your eyes are glued to your television playing some sort of nature documentary but your attention is elsewhere, specifically on trying to worm your way out of this conversation with your cousin. She’s called you every single day since the 4th and she’s done nothing but make you feel guilty about your abrupt departure. 

As you expected, your family didn’t really notice your absence. But when Toji asked your cousin for your purse and then realized you had lied, he sulked in a lawn chair for the rest of the night before Shiu drove him home.

“Yes, I fucked him. So what?”

“Soooo do something about it. Fuck him again? He lives in the same city as you and is here indefinitely. Make a move—”

“It was a nice night, but he was already trying to flirt with me as soon as he saw me and I still entertained him and fucked him and—I shouldn’t have done that…I should have waited, maybe tested the waters more. He only tried to ask me out because he was horny as hell.”

She’s quiet on the other line, and you look up at the ceiling in exasperation because you can feel her annoying logic rev up before she fires away.

“So you’re just scared? Your ex cheated on you because he was a spineless pissy boy who slithered away because you didn’t take his shit. That’s not a reflection of you, at all. I know you like to have it all figured out before you make a decision, but not everything works out that way. Toji saw a fine ass black woman who talks her shit and he made a move. He’s a nice guy...a little rough around the edges, but truly…a nice guy. Someone for you.”

James Attenborough elegantly voices something about the cuttlefish on the screen while you try to contemplate what to say. She’s right. You hate that she’s right. It’s why you two are so close but still you retort in the best way you know how.

“Girl, fuck you.”

Her raucous laugh vibrates over the speaker in delight and you snort and roll your eyes when the doorbell cuts you off. The prospect of your Chinese food makes your mouth water and you’re rushing to the door.

Only it’s not your Chinese food at the doorstep, it’s Toji Fushiguro. Toji Fushiguro who is protected from the rain under the overhang of your apartment door with one hand in the pocket of his jacket and the other clutching a container. The annoyed look that you last saw on his face is gone, replaced by a neutral and bored look that seems natural for him, even though his eyes don’t convey that specific emotion. Those green eyes are reminiscent of your uncle’s well-maintained lawn as they look down at you with a nervous glint. 

“Toji,” you breathe in disbelief. “How did you get my address…”

Your cousin squawks on the other line and swallows a giggle. “I’m gonna go—”

“Your cousin finally gave it to me.,” he replies simply and gestures down to the phone in your tight grip. “I’ve been trying to get it since you fucking left.”

“Damn, thanks?!” she barks at him. “Lemme get out of here, I’m getting another call anyway. Bye!”

You’re going to kill her. Slowly. Painfully and maybe in front of Shiu to get a few tears out of him if you’re feeling particularly evil. 

You know she’s right about Toji, but you can’t do this. You shouldn’t have fucked him in the first place and you should have thought of a backup plan on the off chance that your cousin was going to be annoying and nosy as hell.

You ignore his intense and heavy gaze, shifting in discomfort, scratch the back of your neck, and blanch in horror when your fingers brush the edge of your shower cap. You’re wearing a large t-shirt, your feet are bare and your head is covered in a shower cap with deep conditioner leaking from the sides; a stark contrast from the calm and collected woman who snapped at him all day a week ago. Mortification washes over you in a heavy wave, drowning your mantra of not giving a fuck about a man’s opinion, and you step back to grab the door.

“Listen…I’m waiting for food and then I have to get ready for work in the morning. So you need—”

“You have time to spare then,” he cuts off and walks past you. You round on him, indignant in your gaze.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?! Get out, Toji!”

“You want me to leave? Hmm?” he asks, goading you like you don’t know if you’re sure.

You’re not sure, but—“Yes, goddammit! I shouldn’t have left but I don’t do this sort of thing! The moment you met me, you only wanted to get in my pants. And that makes you trying to ask me out while your cock is inside of me, a lot harder to believe!”

He firmly places the container in his hands on your kitchen counter, takes a deep breath to calm himself, and gives you a look that either makes you want to melt into him or slap it off his face.

“Listen—”

You’re on the defensive now, backed into a corner and ready to pull every card you have to just make him go away. “You here for a quick fuck then? Because you got me to let my guard down and because we had such a steamy time in the backseat of my truck, you thought, what? You could just show up and bend me over my couch?”

That flicker of irritation is back on his face and it crinkles the edges of his eyes, makes him look nasty and hostile.

“Fuck, will you stop—”

“Wanna have a little ‘situationship’ while you get acquainted with your new life here? Have me get nice and comfortable and as soon as I ask for something more, you’re jumping ship. Sounds like a good plan, doesn’t it?”

A sharp growl leaves his throat and he glares.

“Girl—” he starts and immediately stops, eyes wide as saucers at the venomous gaze that you shoot his way. There it is, a hint of a name to make you feel small and insignificant. It reminds you of your parents when you used to talk back and they slid the name to you in a warning to stop talking. You hate it and it stings that you have to hear it from him.

“Get out,” you bark, seething with a rage that brings a sting to your eyes. 

He throws up his hands in frustration, looming like a bear from his place in your kitchen. “Will you just stop it!”

“I said—”

“Oh my fucking god—I like you!” 

His admission catches you off guard, cutting through your anger, and you stare at him in astonishment. His face is red with embarrassment, eyes trained up at the ceiling as if asking the gods to give him patience. He takes a deep breath before meeting your gaze from across the kitchen.

“You don’t do this sort of thing?” he asks, gesturing between the two of you. You can’t find the words to respond, still too shocked, so you simply nod. 

“What sort of thing is that? Flirting with you because you looked like the sexiest little thing in that backyard and I wanted your attention?” He’s annoyed, deep voice razor sharp as he speaks, but you don’t miss the step he takes closer to you.

“Me trying to make you feel better because your family is judgmental? Teaching me about the food you like because I’m not from here?”

He’s closer now and the air is thin again just like that night a week ago.

“Helping me win that little card game?” It’s spades, but you’re too lightheaded with how close he is to correct him. “Telling me about your family? What sort of thing is that? Hmm? Tell me.” 

You don’t have a retort. You’re too stunned to speak even though you refuse to let the annoyed expression on your face vanish. You want to hold onto what little shreds of defiance you have left.

“You aren’t mean. You don’t tolerate bullshit, you don’t fuck around, and you put people in their place. You refuse to settle for less, and I already told you that’s what I like in a woman…And I like you.”

What do you even say? You never expected to see him again, and your mind is muddled as if you’re submerged in water. Your heart feels too big in your chest, your body too hot and sweaty and you’re nervous. He’s angry with his confession, almost annoyed and you’re beginning to realize that it is an emotion that’s second nature to him even if it’s not as intense as you think it is. 

“Is that right?” you can’t help but test him, lifting a brow. You have to crane your neck just a little to look up at him.

He scoffs, the crease in his eyebrows smooths out and the scar on his lips twitches. 

“Yea, that's fucking right. So…” he takes one more step closer and his body is brushing against yours. He smells mildly of toothpaste and bergamot from another brand of cheap cologne and the combination makes you weak in the knees. “Let me take you out.”

It’s the same demand that you’ve heard so many times now, but this time, it feels more serious, more meaningful with a hint of desperation. In the kitchen light, you can see just how silky his raven locks are and you grip your phone and the fabric of your t-shirt to resist the urge to run your hands through them. 

“I’m listening,” you jest with a practiced air.

That wicked smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth, scar adding a devilish flair to his features, and your stomach burns with the realization that he’s too cocky for his own good, and you’ve unfortunately grown to like it. 

“Shiu has tickets for something here called…football? He’s taking your cousin and has two extra tickets. Come with me and show me how to win.”

You can’t help the snort that leaves your mouth and your stomach flips at the genuine confusion on his face. “We don’t participate in the game. We watch it. But it’s fun.”

“All the more reason for you to come with me.”

“I…”

It’s a compelling argument, all of it is. And you want to, you really want to give this a shot and just be vulnerable for once. Because Toji seems like the kind of man who would let you be just who you are and would never make you feel lesser than about it. 

The feel of his large hands cupping your cheeks pulls you out of your thoughts, and he tilts your face up to meet his gaze. His eyes are mesmerizing, like the color of pine trees right before the sun sets and you feel yourself weakening completely.

“One date, princess.”

The deep timbre of his voice does little to help you and it’s worse because it’s just how he fucking talks. You’re not a royal, and you don’t have land, lots of money, or power, but you can tolerate ‘princess’ if it’s coming from his mouth. 

Just one date. You deserve it. You’ve earned the reward.

You wave away his hands from your face just so you can breathe a little easier. He chuckles but gives you your space, and makes his way to the door that you usher him towards. 

“Fine. Make sure you bring cash because it’s easier at the concession stands. I want a pretzel…and a hot dog.”

He snickers as he pulls his hood over his head, obscuring most of his face except for the ethereal glow of his eyes. His teeth shine from his bright smile and you roll your eyes in response before watching him open your door. 

“Toji?” you call, your voice softer…apprehensive.

He turns around to watch you shuffle to him, your feet and legs cold against the chill from the open door. You hand him your phone wordlessly and he takes the hint to insert his number. When he’s finished, you open your mouth to speak, lips shaping words that won’t come out—words you want to say. But you can’t. Not yet. Maybe one day.

For now, you throw him an annoyed eyebrow lift and grumble. “Parking is a real bitch, so pick me up early.”

You avert your gaze, frustrated at yourself for sounding so mean as usual. Because that’s just who you are. The bitter, mean—

A finger beneath your chin lifts your gaze to him and he kisses you full on the mouth, slow and reassuring, minty breath sliding into your mouth when he nips your bottom lip. The self-deprecating voice in your head finally quiets, smothered by a pillow held down by his scarred hands.

When he pulls away, that stupid smirk is on his face, but it’s not as teasing, and your heart does something weird in your chest that makes you swallow hard.

“Yes ma’am,” he replies finally to your demand.

You watch his eyes take in your form from head to toe before he kisses you quickly once more and ducks into the rain.

When you finally get your Chinese and place it on the counter to dig in, your eyes land on the container that was in Toji’s hands from earlier. 

You peek inside, and your heart does that weird thing again in your chest when you see a heaping slice of the yellow cake that you never got to have a week ago.

Thanks for reading! You can find the sequel here!

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

[loveanton]

melting point | lee anton

ꕤ DESCRIPTION: after spending the last few months as anton’s hidden secret you finally reach your limit with his inconsistency.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: situationship!anton x f!reader

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 2.8k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: desperate anton, some jealousy, kissing, and brief mentions of sex and alcohol

⏤ 𝑎/n: first riize post ^-^

You’re at your limit.

The bass pounds in sync with the rapid thump of your heart. The club is a kaleidoscope of pulsating lights and swirling laughter, but your focus narrows on one person: Anton. He's across the room, surrounded by a cluster of people, his magnetic charm drawing them in like moths to a flame. And there she is, Minji, hanging on his every word, her laughter tinkling like glass wind chimes.

You clutch your drink, the ice cubes clinking against the red solo cup in a rhythm that matches the turmoil in your mind. This isn't the first time you've found yourself in this position — watching Anton flirt effortlessly, his attention a fleeting commodity you crave but can never fully grasp. 

You take a deep breath, trying to quell the rising tide of emotions threatening to engulf you. It's a familiar battle, one you've fought countless times before. But tonight feels different, heavier somehow, as if the weight of your unspoken desires has become too much to bear. The two of you aren't exclusive, you remind yourself. You’re just...something. 

Yet, seeing him engrossed in conversation with another girl ignites a flurry of emotions within you.

As you stand there, grappling with your emotions, the thumping bass seems to echo the rhythm of your racing heart. A familiar voice breaks through the haze of your thoughts, pulling you back to the present moment. "You okay?"

Turning, you see Heejin, your closest friend and roommate, her concern etched into the lines of her face. She knows you better than anyone, sensing the storm brewing beneath your calm facade.

You offer her a small smile, though it feels feeble against the weight of your emotions. "I'm fine," you reply, though the words ring hollow even to your own ears.

Heejin studies you for a moment, her gaze searching and knowing. "No you're not. I can see it written all over your face."

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you meet her gaze, the floodgates of your emotions threatening to burst open. "It's just... Anton," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Understanding flashes in Heejin's eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the pain you're feeling. "I know," she murmurs, her voice soft but steady. "I've seen how much he means to you."

As you stand there, with Heejin's comforting presence beside you, memories flood your mind, tracing back to the moment when you first met Anton.

It was a late summer night in Seoul, and you were still adjusting to the bustling city, the unfamiliar sights and sounds overwhelming your senses. A craving for a midnight snack led you to the nearest convenience store, where you stumbled through the aisles in search of something familiar amidst the sea of unfamiliar products.

Lost in your own thoughts, you barely noticed the figure standing nearby until he spoke, his soft voice breaking through the fog of your confusion. "Need help finding something?"

You turned to see Anton, a friendly smile on his face, his easy demeanor putting you at ease. Relief washed over you as you realized he spoke English, a rare find in a country where you struggled to navigate the language barrier.

With his guidance, you found the sweet treat you were looking for, and as you parted ways, a sense of gratitude swelled within you. Little did you know, that chance encounter would become the start of something more.

Every Friday night after a long week of lectures, like clockwork, you found yourself drawn back to the same convenience store, hoping to catch another glimpse of the stranger who had shown you kindness in a foreign land. And without fail, there he would be, waiting for you in the back near the ramen section, a knowing smile on his lips as he greeted you with a simple "Hey."

In those moments, surrounded by the hum of refrigerators and the soft glow of fluorescent lights, you found solace in Anton's company.

You shared stories and laughter over steaming bowls of ramen, forging a bond that grew stronger with each passing week. And as you navigated the complexities of life in a new country, Anton became your anchor, a constant presence amidst the chaos of change. Eventually though the late night ramen runs shifted into late night hookups at his dorm.

You never intended to fall so hard and so fast for Anton but something about his soft spoken nature and charming smile rendered you a fool and now, as you stand here, grappling with the ache in your chest, you can't help but wonder if your bond with Anton was nothing more than a fleeting moment in time. The uncertainty of your situationship weighs heavily on your heart, overshadowing the warmth of those Friday night encounters.

You take a shaky breath, the weight of your unspoken feelings heavy on your chest. "What should I do?" you ask, your voice tinged with desperation.

Heejin listens to your question, her gaze softening with empathy as she considers her response. She reaches out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder before speaking. "You deserve someone who sees you for who you are, not just a fleeting lay in the dead of night," she says gently, her words carrying the weight of truth.

You bristle at her words, a surge of defensiveness rising within you. "But maybe he just... he's busy, you know? Maybe he's just not good at showing his feelings," you protest, the familiar excuses falling from your lips like a well-rehearsed script.

Heejin's expression remains unchanged, her gaze unwavering as she meets your eyes. "You've been holding onto this hope for so long, but deep down, you know it's not enough," she says firmly, her tone gentle but resolute. "Anton's status as an idol may complicate things, but that doesn't excuse his lack of effort outside of those late-night meetups."

You falter under her scrutiny, the weight of her words sinking in with each passing moment. She's right, of course. Anton's gestures, while comforting in the moment, were little more than crumbs of affection scattered at your feet, never enough to sustain the hunger in your heart.

"He invited you to this party, right?" Heejin continues, "But look around you. Do you see him anywhere near you? Or is he off, charming someone who's 'socially acceptable' to be seen with?"

A bitter taste rises in your mouth as you glance around the room, taking in the sight of Anton across the crowded space, his attention focused on Minji, someone who fits seamlessly into his world of fame and glamor. And suddenly, the illusion shatters, leaving behind nothing but the harsh reality of your situation.

You take a shaky breath, the truth settling over you like a heavy blanket. "You're right," you whisper, your voice barely audible above the noise of the party. "I've been fooling myself, thinking there was something more between us."

Heejin squeezes your shoulder in silent solidarity, her presence a source of comfort in the midst of your turmoil. "It's okay to let go," she says softly, her words a gentle reminder that sometimes, the hardest part is acknowledging when it's time to move on.

Tears sting your eyes as you feel the weight of regret settle upon your shoulders. "I feel so stupid," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion. "I wasted half my summer on a boy who wasn't worth it."

Heejin pulls you into a comforting embrace, her arms a shelter from the storm raging within you. "You're not stupid," she reassures you, her voice soft but firm. "You took a chance on something that felt real, and that's nothing to be ashamed of."

Despite her comforting words, you can't help but feel a pang of disappointment in yourself. You had allowed yourself to be swept away by the allure of Anton's charm, only to realize too late that it was nothing more than a facade.

"But hey," Heejin continues, her tone brightening with a hint of optimism, "at least you made some fun memories to last you through the upcoming semester, right?"

You manage a small smile through your tears, grateful for Heejin's unwavering support. "Yeah, I guess you're right," you concede, the weight on your heart easing ever so slightly at the reminder of the good times you shared.

Just as you and Heejin decide to leave the club, your resolve wavering but firm, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. As you navigate through the crowded space towards the restroom, a familiar voice calls out to you, stopping you in your tracks. "Hey, can we talk?"

You turn to see Anton standing there, his expression unreadable as he pulls you aside, away from the prying eyes of the partygoers. Despite the ache in your chest, you can't help but feel a flicker of curiosity at his sudden appearance.

"He invited you to this party, right?" Heejin's words echo in your mind, a stark reminder of the reality you had tried so hard to ignore.

Anton's voice interrupts your thoughts, his words cutting through the noise of the club like a beacon in the darkness. "I missed you, angel," he confesses, his arms encircling your waist in a familiar embrace.

You freeze at his touch, the conflicting emotions raging within you like a storm. His warmth against your skin, once a source of comfort, now feels suffocating in its familiarity. You remain silent, unable to form coherent words amidst the chaos of your thoughts.

Unfazed by your lack of response, Anton leans down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers softly, "Do you want to head home with me tonight?"

The question hangs in the air between you, heavy with unspoken implications. But before you can consider his offer, a surge of frustration and indignation rises within you, breaking through the haze of confusion and growing horniness.

"No," you reply firmly, your voice tinged with a hint of defiance. "I need to know, Anton. What are we? What do you want from me?" You pause, your gaze searching his face for any sign of sincerity. "Because this... this isn't fair to me."

Anton's expression shifts, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before being replaced by a mask of indifference. "What do you mean?" he asks, his tone casual, as if your question holds no weight.

But you refuse to back down, the fire burning within you fueling your resolve. "You know exactly what I mean," you insist, your voice rising with each word. "You reel me in with compliments and empty promises, but you never follow through. You only ever want to see me at night, where no one else can see us. I deserve more than that, Anton. We both do."

Anton's grip tightens slightly around your waist, his brows furrowing in frustration. "It's not that simple, okay?" he retorts, his voice tinged with defensiveness. "You know how hectic my schedule is with my job. I can't always be there when you want me to be."

You shake your head, the bitterness of his words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. "It's not about being there all the time, Anton," you counter, your voice tinged with disappointment. "It's about making an effort, about showing me that I actually mean something to you."

He opens his mouth to respond, but you beat him to it. "I'm tired of the excuses, Anton," you continue, your tone weary but resolute. "I need more than empty promises and late-night hookups. I need someone who's willing to put in the effort, someone who's not afraid to show me off to the world."

Anton's jaw tightens, his frustration palpable as he struggles to find the right words. "You think I don't want that too?" he finally blurts out, his voice edged with exasperation. "Do you have any idea what it's like to live under the constant scrutiny of the public eye? To have every move you make dissected and judged?"

His words hang in the air between you, heavy with the weight of his own insecurities. You understand the pressures of his career, the sacrifices he's had to make to maintain his image in the spotlight. But it's hard to reconcile his struggles with the hurt you've endured in silence.

"I know it's not easy," you concede, your voice softening with empathy. "But that doesn't excuse the way you've treated me, Anton. I've been patient, I've been understanding, but I can't keep pretending like everything's okay when it's not."

Anton's gaze flickers with a mixture of regret and resignation as he takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to brush against your cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice laced with sincerity. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I don't know how to do this."

Your heart aches at the vulnerability in his eyes, the raw honesty of his confession stirring something within you. But before you can respond, he closes the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a desperate kiss.

For a moment, the world falls away, leaving behind only the heat of his touch and the softness of his lips against yours. And in that fleeting moment of intimacy, you're tempted to forget all the pain and uncertainty, to lose yourself in the familiarity of his embrace.

As Anton pulls away from the kiss, desperation flashes in his eyes, pleading with you not to leave him. "Please, don't go," he whispers, his voice cracking with emotion. "I can't lose you, not like this."

His hands tremble as they cup your face, his lips trailing soft kisses across your cheeks, each touch a silent plea for forgiveness. "I'll do better, I promise," he murmurs against your skin, his breath warm against your ear. "I'll put a label on what we have, I'll make it official. Just give me another chance."

You feel a surge of conflicting emotions coursing through you, torn between the pain of the past and the hope of a future where things could be different.

"I don't know, Anton," you murmur, your voice trembling with uncertainty. "I want to believe you, but... how can I be sure this time will be different?"

Anton's expression softens, a flicker of determination crossing his features. "I'll show you," he vows, his words laced with conviction. "I'll make it up to you, every single day. Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it."

You hesitate, torn between the desire to believe in him and the fear of being hurt again. But as you meet his gaze, a glimmer of hope flickers within you, a belief that perhaps, just perhaps, there's still a chance for redemption.

"Okay," you whisper, your voice barely audible above the chaos of the club. "But this is your last chance, Anton. No more empty promises, no more excuses. Show me that you mean it this time."

Anton leans in once again and captures your lips in another kiss, this time with a depth of emotion that leaves you reeling. It's as if he's pouring all of his love and regret into the fervent press of his mouth against yours, a silent plea for your forgiveness.

When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the space between you. "I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm so sorry for everything."

You feel a lump forming in your throat as you listen to him speak.

"Can I make it up to you?" Anton asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “Come home with me, let me show you how sorry I am, angel.”

You take a step back to look into his eyes but Anton quickly scoops you back towards his body. His other hand is on the side of your face, pulling you in. He dips his head and crashes his soft lips against your waiting lips. You let out a moan at the force behind the kiss but don’t object. He turns his head to deepen the kiss and slips his tongue into your mouth.

The kiss only gets hotter and hotter as you continue, Anton tilts his head to the side and you move yours in the opposite direction. Parting from your lips, he moves down gently to the corner of your lips, the tip of his nose buried in the junction of your jaw to take deep breaths of your intoxicating scent.

The male lays more open mouthed kisses down your neck, making you feel nothing but pure bliss. Your eyes shut as you moan into the air.

His hands move from your waist downwards, sliding over your jeans to caress your ass and thighs. He places one more love bite on your neck before bending a bit and lifting the back of your thighs as if you weigh nothing. You gasp in surprise and wrap your arms around his neck tightly so as to not fall.

You tug at his hair before responding to his previous question. “Take me home, Chanie.”

[rafesapologist]

the setback ─ rafe cameron; part seventeen

summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.

warnings: angst, swearing, fluff

author's note: this series has been a long time coming and i am so happy it has taken off the way it has. i appreciate all the love and support you all have given this story, but we have reached the end. i do not want to overkill this story or beat a dead horse, because the longer it goes on it leaves room for more to happen than i planned for. i plan on pursuing other stories from here but this one will always have my heart because it was my first ever on tumblr. <3

Sofia’s admission hit Rafe like ice water on a fevered brow, jolting him out of his haze with a suddenness that nearly knocked the air from his lungs. The dim, pulsing lights of the club blurred as he shoved through the writhing crowd, his mind teetering on the edge of panic. Every step felt like wading through quicksand, the noise of laughing strangers and the thrum of bass only deepening his disorientation. His chest tightened, his breaths coming short and rapid as the realization of your danger tunneled his vision, choking his throat with an unfamiliar dread.

By the time Rafe burst through the doors and into the humid night air, he was gasping. His hands gripped his knees, his body doubled over as he fought for control, the sharp sting of fear pumping through his veins like a poison. The streetlights cast jagged shadows across the cracked pavement beneath him, their orange glow flickering with every unsteady breath he drew. His heart hammered against his ribs as if it were trying to tear free, every pulse of it screaming a warning that reverberated through his entire being.

His thoughts came in fragmented bursts, spiraling—she’s in danger—a relentless echo. He pictured you, vulnerable, caught in some trap his father had set. His mind spun with worst-case scenarios, each more terrifying than the last, while the terror of losing you drove him to the brink of collapse. A wave of nausea hit him, but he forced it back, squeezing his eyes shut and swallowing down the panic threatening to unravel him.

He couldn’t lose you. Not now. Not like this.

Standing upright, Rafe ran a shaky hand through his disheveled hair, the night air doing nothing to cool the heat surging beneath his skin. The world outside the club seemed to spin in slow motion, people passing by oblivious to the storm raging within him. He clenched his fists, forcing himself to focus, adrenaline igniting something feral and primal in his chest. He knew only one thing: he had to find you, and there wasn’t a second to waste.

Rafe’s eyes darted wildly around the street as he paced, his mind racing with chaotic thoughts that he struggled to piece together. His fingers raked through his dirty blond hair, pulling at the strands in frustration, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribcage. Every muscle in his body was tight with anxiety, and he could feel his pulse throbbing in his temples. He had to calm down—he knew that. But the fear gnawed at him, relentless, pulling him deeper into a spiral.

Get it together. Focus. He whispered to himself, his voice barely audible over the rush of his own breathing. The thought of you being in danger sent another wave of panic through him, but he forced himself to push it down. Now wasn’t the time to fall apart. He couldn’t afford to. Not with you on the line.

The idea of getting in his truck crossed his mind, but the very notion of driving in the state he was in felt like a death sentence. His body still buzzed with the remnants of coke and alcohol, the drugs pulsing through his bloodstream, clouding his judgment. If he got behind the wheel now, it would be reckless, maybe even fatal. And then there was Topper—no help at all, slumped somewhere back in the club, likely even more wasted than Rafe was. No, he was on his own. Or at least he thought he was.

Then it hit him like a bolt of clarity: Barry.

He grimaced at the thought, but desperation left him with no other choice. Barry was the last person he wanted to rely on, the kind of person you only called when things were far past the point of no return. But that’s exactly where he was now—past the point of no return. If anyone had the connections, the means to track down his father or whatever shady plot Ward had concocted, it would be Barry.

Rafe’s phone trembled in his hand as he pulled it out of his pocket, the screen blurry as he scrolled through his contacts. His fingers hesitated above Barry’s name, but he took a breath and tapped the call button. The dial tone seemed to stretch on forever, each ring tightening the knot of anxiety in his stomach.

Finally, a gravelly voice answered on the other end. “Rafe? The hell you callin’ me for at this hour?”

Rafe swallowed hard, his voice strained as he spoke. “I need your help, Barry. It’s… it’s about my dad. And it’s about her.”

There was a pause on the line, a low chuckle from Barry that sent a chill down Rafe’s spine. “This better be worth my time, Cameron. You know how I work.”

“I know,” Rafe gritted his teeth, feeling the weight of the situation settle even heavier on his shoulders. “Just meet me at the docks. I’ll explain everything.”

With that, he hung up, his jaw clenched as he stuffed the phone back into his pocket. His hands were shaking again, but this time it wasn’t just from fear—it was anger. Anger at his father, anger at Sofia, anger at the world for putting you in this mess.

Rafe’s feet pounded against the pavement, the night air sharp against his flushed skin. His vision tunneled once again, the world around him reduced to nothing but a blur of shadows and streetlights. His breath came in ragged gasps, the sting of adrenaline burning in his lungs, but he couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t. His legs carried him forward with reckless speed, driven by the sheer force of desperation.

The dock wasn’t far, but it felt like miles as he sprinted down the road, heart hammering in his chest. Maybe it was the cocktail of substances still coursing through his veins, or maybe it was the raw fear gnawing at him, but he ran like his life depended on it.

No, not his life—yours.

Every thought, every heartbeat, was consumed by the image of you in danger, your face flashing before his eyes as he pushed himself harder. The world around him felt surreal, distorted, like a fever dream where time slowed and sped up at random. The night sky seemed to tilt above him, the ground swaying beneath his feet, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t.

The familiar smell of saltwater hit his nose as he neared the dock, the wooden structure looming ahead, dimly lit by a few flickering lamps. His steps faltered for just a second as he spotted a figure leaning against one of the posts, the outline unmistakable even from a distance. Barry.

Rafe forced himself to slow down, his heart still racing as he approached. He could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on him like a vice, but there was no turning back now. He needed answers. He needed you safe.

Barry lifted his head as Rafe came into view, his smirk visible even in the low light. “You look like shit, Cameron.”

Rafe's words came out in a frantic rush, barely coherent as his panic clawed its way to the surface. His breath was uneven, and his eyes, wild with desperation, darted toward Barry with an intensity that made it clear how urgent this was. “We have to find Y/N. I need you to help me find her, please, I—”

Barry narrowed his eyes, exhaling another lazy stream of smoke, clearly enjoying watching Rafe unravel. "Whoa, slow down," he said, his voice thick with amusement, like he was savoring Rafe's desperation. "You're all worked up for what? A girl? I thought you'd grown a spine by now."

Rafe took a step closer, fists clenched at his sides, his voice strained as he tried to steady himself. “This isn’t a joke, Barry. My dad’s involved. Sofia’s involved. They’re coming after her, and I can’t—” his voice broke for a moment, "I can’t let them hurt her."

Barry tilted his head, flicking the cigarette butt onto the ground and grinding it under his heel. “Ward’s always got his hands in some deep shit, doesn’t he?” His smirk widened, but his eyes sharpened with interest. “So, you’re saying there’s trouble. Sounds like a dangerous game, Rafe. How do I know your daddy won't turn around and fuck me over next?"

Rafe’s jaw tightened as Barry’s smirk deepened, the question lingering like a taunt. He knew Barry wasn’t the type to jump into anything without weighing the risks—especially when it involved the Camerons. Taking a shaky breath, Rafe tried to steady himself, to present some semblance of control. "Because I’ll make sure it doesn’t. This is on me, not you. I just need your help."

Barry let out a low chuckle, amused by Rafe's desperation. "Oh, so now you're the hero? What makes you think you can keep me out of the crossfire when your whole family’s knee-deep in it?"

Rafe ran a trembling hand through his dirty blond hair, feeling the weight of the substances in his system pulling him down. "You won't be on the radar. My dad won’t even know you're involved. This is between me and him. Sofia’s already in, so you’ve got leverage."

Barry’s expression shifted, the smirk fading as he considered the offer. His fingers drummed against his side, eyes studying Rafe. “Leverage, huh? Sounds like you’re neck-deep in something nasty. And if it backfires...”

“It won’t,” Rafe interrupted, his voice sharp and pleading all at once. "I’ll make sure it doesn’t."

Barry stared him down for a long moment, weighing his options. Finally, he flicked a glance at Rafe, sizing him up. “Alright,” he said, his voice slow, calculating. “But if this does turn sideways, I’ll bury you before Ward even gets a chance. You hear me?”

Rafe nodded quickly, the words slicing through his panic. "Yeah, I hear you. Just help me find her."

"Well alright," Barry sighed almost in defeat, his shoulders slumping as he turned his heel, motioning Rafe to follow, "let's get goin'."

Rafe let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, his pulse still racing but with a flicker of hope now threaded through the fear. He quickly followed Barry to the beat-up truck, the gravel crunching under their feet. The night air felt heavy, thick with the tension of what they were about to do.

Barry opened the driver’s side door, glancing back at Rafe with a half-smirk. “Get in. And try not to puke in my truck, yeah?”

Rafe ignored the jab, climbing into the passenger seat as Barry started the engine. The old truck roared to life, and they took off down the road, the headlights slicing through the dark.

As they sped away from the dock, the inside of the truck was filled with the low hum of the engine and the rattling of loose parts. Rafe stared out the window, his mind spinning with thoughts of you. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, the knot in his stomach tightening with every mile. He couldn’t stop imagining what his father might do, or what Sofia’s resentment might lead to.

Barry, sensing Rafe’s silence, glanced over, his eyes flicking between the road and his passenger. “So, what exactly does your daddy have planned this time?” he asked, voice casual, but there was a sharpness behind it.

Rafe didn’t answer right away, his jaw clenching as he replayed the chaotic events of the past few days. Ward’s betrayal, Sofia’s confession, the looming threat that seemed to press down on him like a weight he couldn’t shake.

“I don’t know all the details,” Rafe finally muttered, his voice tight with frustration. “But it’s bad. Real bad.”

Barry raised an eyebrow, his hands steady on the wheel as they sped down the dimly lit road. “Define ‘bad,’ Rafe. You’re talkin’ like your old man’s about to blow up the island or somethin’.”

Rafe shook his head, running his hand through his disheveled hair. “He put a hit out on her. On y/n.” His voice cracked slightly, as if saying it out loud made the threat even more real. “He thinks she’s tied up with John B and the Pogues, thinks she’s some kind of liability. But she’s not, Barry. She’s innocent.”

Barry let out a low whistle, shaking his head slowly. “Ward Cameron never could tell the difference between business and personal, could he?”

The truck hit a bump in the road, but neither of them flinched. The silence stretched, the gravity of the situation settling between them like a storm cloud.

“So, you’re up against Ward now,” Barry said, glancing sideways at Rafe again. “Man, you’ve got balls. Most people would’ve run for the hills by now.”

“I’m not running,” Rafe snapped, his anger flaring up again. “I’m not letting him ruin her life like he’s ruined mine.”

Barry grinned, the corners of his mouth tugging up in that familiar, crooked way. “Alright, man. I’m in. But just know, whatever comes next—it’s gonna get ugly.”

Barry's truck roared down the deserted streets, the engine's growl a constant, urgent reminder of the time slipping away. Rafe sat in the passenger seat, his fingers gripping the edge of his seat, knuckles white and strained. The road stretched out before them like an unending ribbon of asphalt, the dim streetlights casting long, flickering shadows that seemed to dance with his growing panic.

Every minute felt like an eternity as they drove through familiar yet alien landscapes. They passed by the docks, the bars, and the places you’d once frequented. Rafe's eyes darted around, desperately scanning for any sign of you, but the night remained stubbornly indifferent. The neon signs of local bars blurred into a chaotic smear of color, each one a reminder of how many places he had searched and how many hours had slipped by.

“Damn it!” Rafe yelled, his voice cracking with frustration. He punched the dashboard with a force that made the truck’s interior shudder but didn’t quite break anything. His breath came in short, ragged bursts as he tried to keep himself calm, but the fear that something terrible might happen to you was relentless.

Barry's eyes flickered over to Rafe, a mix of concern and impatience etched on his face. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, the knuckles on his hands turning a stark white. “Look, we’ve been driving around for half an hour, hitting all your usual spots. There’s no sign of her,” Barry said, his voice steady but edged with frustration. He glanced at Rafe, who was staring out the window with a look of desolation.

Barry’s gaze shifted back to the road, then to Rafe. “Alright, look, why don’t we just show up at John B’s and ask ‘em where she’s at? I mean, it won’t hurt to check. We might find something there.”

Defeat etched over Rafe's features as he slumped down into the passenger's seat, momentarily peering over at Barry as if he was contemplating his suggestion. Everywhere else seemed to be a bust, therefor it was the only option left for him to go. "Alright," he sighed, throwing his hands up, "let's go."

Barry's eyes softened with a hint of empathy as he observed Rafe's expression. The stark contrast between Rafe's usually confident demeanor and the current look of defeat was jarring. Without a word, Barry turned the truck around, the vehicle's headlights slicing through the night, leading them back toward familiar terrain.

The road felt endless under the truck’s tires, each mile stretching out with agonizing slowness. The lights of bars and shops, once vibrant and promising, now seemed to mock Rafe’s anxiety with their indifferent glow. He sat in the passenger seat, his gaze fixed on the window, eyes following the blur of passing streetlights and shadows.

As they approached the chateau, Rafe’s mind raced. The enormity of the situation pressed down on him, the fear for your safety overwhelming every other thought. Barry parked the truck outside John B’s place, the vehicle’s engine rumbling to a stop. The street was quiet, the only sounds being the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze and the distant hum of a late-night radio.

Rafe glanced over at Barry, his face drawn and weary. “Thanks for doing this,” he said, his voice heavy with gratitude and exhaustion. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before they approached the front door.

Barry nodded, giving Rafe a reassuring pat on the shoulder before stepping out of the truck. They walked up the path to the house, the porch light casting long shadows that danced with their footsteps. The door loomed ahead, a barrier to answers and perhaps, hope.

Rafe hesitated for a moment, then raised his hand and knocked. The sound of the knuckles hitting the wood was sharp and clear, breaking the silence of the night. The minutes felt like hours as they waited, the anticipation almost unbearable. Rafe shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his mind replaying every possible scenario.

Finally, the door creaked open, revealing a groggy John B with disheveled hair and a puzzled expression. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of Rafe and Barry standing on the doorstep.

“Rafe?” John B’s voice was a mix of confusion and concern. "What are you doing here?"

Rafe’s voice trembled with urgency as he stepped into John B’s living room, his eyes scanning the space frantically. His gaze darted around, searching for any sign of you. “I need to find y/n. Is she here?” he asked, his voice laced with desperation and a tinge of fear.

John B’s expression shifted from surprise to a mixture of concern and secrecy. “No, she’s not here.” He swallowed thickly, his gaze darting away briefly as if grappling with something unspoken. His demeanor was tense, a stark contrast to his usual easygoing nature.

Rafe’s pulse quickened. “What do you mean? Where is she? John B, I need to know.”

John B hesitated, his face a mask of conflicted emotions. “Look, Rafe, there’s more to this than you realize. We’re trying to protect her. Ward’s threats— they’re serious. If we don’t keep her hidden, things could get worse.”

Rafe’s eyes widened, panic and anger mixing in his gaze. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re hiding her? Why wouldn’t you tell me? She’s in danger, and I need to find her!”

John B’s face hardened with resolve. “We’re hiding her because it’s the safest place for her right now. Ward’s dangerous, and if he gets a whiff of where she is, it could end badly. I know you’re desperate, but honestly, you’re the last person who should see her right now. You’re the reason she and all of us are in this.”

Rafe’s eyes widened, his heart pounding in his chest. “Don’t you dare say I did this to her.” His voice cracked with a mixture of outrage and anguish.

John B’s expression softened for a moment, but his resolve remained firm. “He’s your dad, Rafe.”

The words hung heavily in the air, cutting through the tension like a knife. Rafe’s face contorted with a mix of pain and frustration. “What does that have to do with anything? You think I’m just going to sit back and let him hurt her? I don’t care who he is—he’s not going to touch her.”

John B’s gaze was steady, though there was an undercurrent of sorrow. “It’s not about who he is. It’s about what he’s capable of. He’s dangerous, and you’re right in the middle of it. That makes it harder for us to protect her if you’re involved.”

Rafe’s fists clenched at his sides, his knuckles white. “So, what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait? I can’t do that. I need to find her.”

John B stepped closer, his tone firm yet sympathetic. “I get that you want to help, but right now, the best thing you can do is stay away. We’ve got a plan to keep her safe, and bringing you into it could complicate things further. You need to focus on dealing with Ward.”

Rafe wasn't simply going to let it go, not when it involved your wellbeing. His frustration began bubbling higher and higher, his anticipation eating away at him as time passed. John B's refusal to give up your whereabouts only complicated things for Rafe further, leaving him to feel like he was backed into a corner waiting for a war to erupt. He knew John B was not one to back down when he stood his ground, but neither was Rafe.

"Look John B, I know we have never gotten along and probably never will, but for just this instance can you please just put that aside and at least give me a clue to where she could be? I've looked at every corner of the Cut and you guys are my only chance to figure out where she is."

John B's jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing as he considered Rafe’s plea. "You think I’m just going to give her up? After everything?" His voice was sharp, defensive.

Rafe stepped closer, his frustration boiling over. "I’m not asking you to trust me, or even forgive me. I just need to know that she’s safe. Ward’s not going to stop, John B. And if I can’t find her, he will."

John B's hardened expression faltered for a moment. He could see the desperation in Rafe's eyes—the desperation of someone who was genuinely afraid for you. Still, he shook his head, taking a breath as he crossed his arms. "Rafe, I don’t trust you. And I don’t trust that you won't lead your dad straight to her, even if you don’t mean to."

Rafe’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his voice cracking as he spoke. "I would never let him touch her. I’m trying to protect her—same as you. I just—" His voice wavered, barely a whisper. "I can't lose her."

John B hesitated, his brow furrowing as he watched Rafe. There was something different in his voice, something more genuine than he’d expected. He wasn’t used to seeing Rafe like this—vulnerable, pleading. It made him hesitate.

"She’s safe," John B finally said, his tone quieter now. "But that’s all you need to know. You need to back off. The more you push, the more danger you put her in."

Rafe’s frustration flared again, but he swallowed it, knowing that arguing more would get him nowhere. He stared at John B for a moment longer, feeling the helplessness creeping up on him. "Just… just tell her I’m trying to help. Please." His voice broke on the last word.

John B nodded stiffly, his expression unreadable. "We’ll make sure she knows," he said, turning to walk back toward the house. "But you need to leave this alone, Rafe. For her sake."

Rafe swallowed hard, the fear and frustration mixing with a sense of helplessness he hadn’t felt in years. "I don’t know how to walk away from this," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I can’t just leave her in danger."

John B’s gaze softened, and he took a step closer, lowering his voice. “You love her, don’t you?”

Rafe’s throat tightened, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He looked away, staring at the floor as he nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I do.”

A silence settled over the room, heavy with unspoken words. Finally, John B placed a hand on Rafe’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “Then trust us,” he said quietly. “Trust me. We’re on the same side here.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Rafe had never been good at handling silence, and the last three weeks had felt like an eternity. He’d made it through plenty of rough patches before, but this time was different. There was an emptiness he couldn’t shake—a nagging, constant fear gnawing at him from the inside out. The usual distraction tactics weren’t working anymore.

He'd spend hours at the golf course with Topper and Kelce, making small talk about future trips and complaining about the latest club drama. But every time he lined up a shot, his mind wandered back to you. He could see you in his peripheral vision, your smile, your laugh—always just out of reach. Even at the Pelican Yacht Club, with its sun-drenched decks and cool sea breeze, he found no comfort. He'd sit there with a drink in hand, zoning out as his friends talked about plans for the next regatta. It felt like they were in another world, one he couldn’t access.

Rafe had told himself you were with the Pogues, hiding out, and that they were probably getting into their usual reckless trouble. At least if you were with them, you weren’t alone. It should’ve been enough to reassure him, but it wasn’t. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he knew that if Ward had any idea where you were, he’d already have made a move. The thought made him nauseous. Ward was gone too—radio silent. It wasn’t like his father to stay off the grid this long, and the eerie stillness around his disappearance made Rafe’s skin crawl.

Every time his phone buzzed, his heart would leap into his throat. He'd drop whatever he was doing, half expecting your name to light up his screen. But it never was. It was always Topper asking about plans for the night, Kelce wanting to hit the links again, or one of the Kook girls trying to make conversation. He was slipping—losing his grip on his usual cool demeanor. His patience had worn thin, and the smallest annoyances set him off. He could feel his friends’ stares when they thought he wasn’t looking, exchanging concerned glances behind his back.

“What’s with you, man?” Topper had asked him last night, standing on the deck of the club, his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear. “You’ve been out of it lately.”

Rafe had forced a smile, brushing it off with a shrug. “Just family stuff,” he’d said, offering no further explanation. Topper didn’t press, but the worry in his eyes lingered, as if he could see the cracks forming in Rafe’s facade.

In moments of quiet, when the noise of the club died down and the laughter from the other tables faded into background chatter, Rafe felt the crushing weight of his own powerlessness. He didn’t know where you were, if you were safe, or if you were thinking about him at all. And the thought of you being hurt—or worse, alone and afraid—made him want to tear apart the entire island until he found you.

It had never been like this before. He’d never cared so deeply for someone that their absence felt like a physical wound. And now, with both you and his father missing, Rafe felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, the ground crumbling beneath his feet.

He pulled out his phone again, his fingers hesitating over your contact. He hadn’t called you in weeks, not since the last time you’d spoken—the argument you’d had before you disappeared. He wanted to hear your voice, to know that you were okay, but he was afraid you wouldn’t pick up. Afraid you would, and he wouldn’t know what to say.

In the end, he just stared at your name on the screen, his thumb hovering over the call button. He hated how weak he felt, how much he needed you. With a frustrated sigh, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and ran a hand through his hair, staring out at the horizon.

Rafe couldn’t stand the noise anymore. The laughter, the clinking glasses, the mindless chatter—it all grated on him like nails on a chalkboard. He clenched his jaw, feeling the tension building in his chest, and before he could talk himself out of it, he pushed back his chair and stood up abruptly.

"I'll catch you guys later," he said, his voice flat.

Topper and Kelce exchanged puzzled looks, caught off guard by his sudden departure. "You good, man?" Kelce called after him, but Rafe didn’t even bother to turn around. He gave a half-hearted wave over his shoulder as he made his way out of the club, ignoring the murmurs of confusion from the group behind him.

He needed to be alone, away from the forced smiles and meaningless conversations. He needed to escape the pressure building inside him like a storm ready to break. His feet carried him quickly to his truck, his hands already fumbling for his keys as he approached. The second he got inside, he slammed the door shut and let out a long, shaky breath.

For the first time all day, he felt a sliver of relief. The silence of the truck enveloped him, offering a brief respite from the chaos swirling in his mind. He leaned back against the seat, staring at the steering wheel as he tried to gather his thoughts. It was the first quiet moment he’d had in weeks, and he felt like he could finally breathe.

He pressed his palms to his eyes, as if the pressure could somehow force the pain out of his head. The knot in his chest tightened when he thought of you—where you were, if you were safe, if you even missed him. He was used to feeling in control, to having answers, but right now, he felt like he was spiraling, clutching at straws to make sense of it all. And then there was Ward's disappearance, which left an eerie silence hanging over his life, amplifying his uncertainty tenfold.

After a few minutes, he exhaled deeply, starting the truck. The engine’s rumble filled the air, grounding him in the moment. He pulled out of the lot and headed back home, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. He needed to get away from it all, to shut the world out until he could figure out how to mend the mess inside him.

As he drove, the familiar scenery of Figure Eight blurred past him, the golden hues of the setting sun casting long shadows on the road. It was a drive he’d made a thousand times, but today it felt different. The wind blowing through the open windows didn’t bring its usual comfort; it only reminded him of how empty everything felt without you by his side.

When he pulled into the long driveway of his family’s estate, the house loomed before him, its white facade glowing in the fading light. It was eerily quiet. He cut the engine and sat there for a moment, staring at the mansion he’d grown up in. It was supposed to feel like home, but right now, it felt like a prison—a stark reminder of everything that was slipping through his fingers.

He made his way inside, letting the door click shut behind him. The silence of the house was suffocating. Rafe threw his keys on the table and headed up the stairs to his room. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it as he took in the familiar sight of his space. It felt just as empty as everything else.

He sank down onto the edge of his bed, dropping his head into his hands. For once, he didn’t try to push the feelings away. He let them wash over him—the fear, the frustration, the longing. He knew he couldn’t hide from it anymore. You were gone, his father was missing, and everything was falling apart.

He squeezed his eyes shut, whispering into the darkness of his room, “Where are you?” The words were a plea, a question directed at you, even though he knew you couldn’t hear him. He just hoped that, wherever you were, you were thinking of him too.

Rafe's chest tightened, and the room seemed to shrink around him as his emotions threatened to boil over. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears, but they welled up regardless, turning his vision blurry. His eyes became red and glossy, the ache in his heart growing unbearable with every passing second. It was like a ghost of you lingered in the room, haunting him with memories he couldn’t escape—your laugh, the way you’d look at him, the feel of your hand in his. Now, all he felt was emptiness.

He couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling that this was his fault. He had made a grave mistake, he was sure of it. If only he had kept a closer watch, if only he had been more careful, maybe you wouldn’t be in danger now. The thought of you being out there, vulnerable and alone, tore him apart. He could almost see you, scared and needing him, but no matter how hard he tried to reach out, you slipped further away from his grasp.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, his voice cracking as he bit down on the words. The apology felt hollow, echoing back at him in the empty room. He wanted to scream, to punch something, to make the pain stop—but he was trapped in this limbo of not knowing, of being helpless. And for someone like Rafe, who thrived on control, the helplessness was its own special kind of torture.

His hand tightened around his phone, his knuckles turning white as he gripped it like it was the source of all his pain. In a sudden burst of frustration and grief, he hurled it across the room. It hit the wall with a sharp crack, then fell to the floor, the screen shattering into pieces. For a moment, the silence after the impact felt almost comforting. He stared at the wreckage, chest heaving, his breaths coming in ragged gasps.

But the brief satisfaction faded quickly, replaced by a hollow ache. He started pacing, the walls closing in on him as his thoughts spiraled out of control. His mind raced with all the worst-case scenarios, images of you hurt or scared flashing in his head. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at it as if the pain could snap him out of this nightmare.

“Dammit!” he shouted, his voice breaking with a mixture of anger and desperation. He felt like he was losing it. He needed to do something—anything—but there was nowhere to go, no one to fight, and no way to find you. He was stuck, and it felt like drowning in quicksand.

Rafe stopped pacing, leaning against the wall as his body sagged under the weight of it all. His fingers dug into the plaster as he tried to ground himself, taking deep, shuddering breaths to calm the storm raging inside. The tears he had been holding back spilled over, streaking down his cheeks. He wasn’t used to this—crying, feeling this vulnerable. It made him feel weak, and he hated it. But right now, he couldn’t help it. He felt broken, shattered like the phone on the ground, and the pieces were too scattered to put back together.

He slid down the wall, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. He couldn’t escape the thought of you—your smile, the way you’d look at him like he was more than just a Cameron, more than just the troubled son of Ward. He hadn’t realized how much he needed you until you were gone. And now, he was left with nothing but the crushing guilt that he had failed to protect you.

Rafe’s breath hitched as he heard the knock echo through the house, slicing through the heavy silence. He froze, wiping his tears quickly and forcing himself to compose. He hadn’t spoken to anyone in hours, and he certainly wasn’t expecting company. The confusion quickly morphed into paranoia. He clenched his jaw, his eyes darting to the front door. His mind raced, imagining who it could be. His father? Back from wherever he’d disappeared to, ready to follow through on his threats? The thought alone sent a chill down his spine.

He needed to be ready.

Rafe’s gaze shifted to his bedside table, where the knife gleamed under the dim light. He reached for it, gripping it tightly in his hand, finding some comfort in the cold metal pressing into his palm. He moved cautiously, his steps light and silent, like a predator stalking prey. As he descended the stairs, every creak of the old wood sounded like a gunshot in his ears, making his heart hammer against his ribs. He held his breath, trying to keep quiet as he approached the door, his pulse throbbing in his throat.

He reached the bottom of the steps, his eyes locked on the door. It was slightly ajar, as if whoever was outside had hesitated, not yet willing to push their way in. Rafe moved closer, his back pressed against the wall, knife held at the ready. He strained to listen, trying to pick up any hint of who it might be on the other side. He didn’t hear much—just the faint sound of someone shifting their weight, maybe a shaky breath. His grip on the knife tightened, his knuckles turning white as he mentally prepared himself for an attack.

With a deep, steadying breath, he reached for the doorknob. His fingers trembled as they wrapped around the cool metal, twisting it slowly. He pulled the door open just a crack, peeking through the small sliver to catch a glimpse of whoever was on the other side. He gulped, his throat dry, as he took in the figure standing in the dim porch light.

Rafe's breath hitched as he stared at you, feeling a wave of emotions he couldn't quite place. Relief, disbelief, anger, and something else he couldn’t name all swirled together, leaving him speechless for a moment. His hand trembled, the knife still held in a death grip at his side. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. He just stood there, taking you in like he was trying to convince himself you were real and not some figment of his imagination.

"Y/N?" he whispered, voice cracking. It was as if saying your name aloud might break the fragile spell of the moment. He’d pictured this reunion a thousand times—what he’d say, how he’d react—but now that you were actually here, all those plans evaporated. He felt paralyzed, his eyes scanning you up and down, searching for any sign of harm.

But you looked...fine. Unscathed. Healthier than he'd expected. It threw him off completely. He’d been imagining the worst for weeks, thinking you were in danger, or worse—hurt. Yet here you were, standing on his porch, seemingly calm and collected.

Rafe’s shoulders slumped, his posture collapsing under the weight of all the worry he'd carried. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, feeling the knife slip from his fingers and clatter to the floor. He didn’t even care. He just took a step closer, his eyes fixed on yours, desperate to make sense of what was happening.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he croaked out, his voice breaking. “Where have you been? Why—” He cut himself off, shaking his head as he raked a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me you were okay?”

“I’m tired of hiding, Rafe,” you said flatly, your voice carrying a strange calmness in the chaos of his thoughts. “Nobody else knows that I’m here. I left without telling them.”

Rafe’s brow furrowed in confusion, his mind trying to connect the dots. His heart still pounded in his chest, the weight of everything he’d been through over the past few weeks making it hard to focus. “I... I don’t get it. I thought you hated me because of all of this. I don’t get why—why you’re here.” His voice was shaky, filled with uncertainty as his gaze darted between you and the ground, as if the truth might be hiding in the space between.

"I never hated you," you said, your voice surprisingly steady. You met his gaze head-on, your eyes unflinching, though there was an underlying tension in your shoulders. "I did what I had to do to stay safe."

Rafe's brows furrowed as he processed your words, a painful confusion swirling inside him. "Why didn’t you call me? Why did you disappear without telling me where you were?" His voice cracked with the strain of his emotions. Every inch of his body screamed for answers, for the clarity he'd been missing for weeks.

You stood there, taking a deep breath before answering, the calmness in your voice betraying the storm brewing in your chest. "Because I didn’t want you to come looking for me. Ward knew you would be wherever I was, and I couldn’t risk it."

The words hit Rafe like a punch to the gut, and he felt his world tilt for a second, the weight of your actions now making sense, but only in the way that left him struggling to breathe. He didn’t know how to feel. His hands tightened at his sides, fists clenching as the frustration built up inside him.

"Of course I would look for you, Y/N," Rafe finally choked out, his voice rough with emotion. "I had to make sure you were safe, and it was killing me having to just sit here and hope you were protected."

Your gaze softened, the conflict in your eyes clear as you watched him struggle with the words. You could see the hurt, the years of worry in his eyes, and it made your heart ache in return. But there was something else there too—something you couldn't ignore any longer.

"I know, and I’m sorry." Your voice came out quieter, more fragile, as if it hurt you just as much to say those words. "But I don’t want to do this anymore. No more games, no more hiding, no more danger."

Rafe’s breath caught in his throat as he took in your words, his chest tightening. His first instinct was to reach for you, to pull you into his arms and keep you safe, to make up for the weeks of fear and confusion. But there was something else behind your words, a finality that stopped him in his tracks. He stared at you, disbelief and pain mixing together.

"What do you mean, Y/N?" His voice cracked again, and he fought to steady himself. "What do you mean, 'no more hiding'?"

You took a deep breath, stepping forward slightly, your posture firm but vulnerable. "I mean I want to stop running. I want to stop being afraid. I’ve been through enough, Rafe. And I don’t want to keep living in the shadows, waiting for the next threat to come."

Rafe’s eyes softened, a mix of guilt and understanding crossing his features. He wanted so badly to fix things, to make everything right, but the weight of what you were asking him to do loomed heavy between you both. The past few weeks, the pain, the fear—it was all more than he knew how to handle. But looking at you, standing there, finally free of the fear that had controlled you, he knew what he had to do.

Rafe’s heart hammered in his chest as he processed your words. His mind raced, but the ache in his chest intensified. "What do you want to do, Y/N?" he asked, the rawness in his voice betraying the vulnerability he couldn’t hide.

You didn’t hesitate. Your expression was steady, determined. “I want to leave this place,” you said softly, but with the weight of everything behind it. “I want to go somewhere nobody can find us. Somewhere we can live a normal life, without the constant fear. I can’t take this anymore, Rafe. I need out.”

His breath caught in his throat as you stepped closer. “I want a new life," you continued, your eyes locked on his. "A life where it’s just us, without all the chaos.”

The words hit Rafe like a storm. For a second, he couldn’t find his voice, too overwhelmed by the possibility of a life with you that didn’t have to be defined by the fear and danger that had haunted him for so long.

“You… you really mean that?” he choked out, the doubt evident in his voice. “You want to leave all this behind? For real?”

You nodded. “Yes, Rafe. I’m tired of running, tired of being afraid. I want to build something different. With you.”

Rafe’s chest tightened at the sincerity in your words. He had always known you were strong, but this—this was something different. The weight of what you were asking, what you were willing to risk for the two of you, settled in the pit of his stomach. It was overwhelming, but it also felt like the right kind of overwhelming.

“You’d really leave it all behind? You’d trust me with that?” His voice cracked on the last word, the depth of his feelings for you surfacing in a way he hadn’t expected.

You took another step forward, closing the distance between you. “I trust you, Rafe,” you said, your voice unwavering. “And I’m done with this life. I want more than this. I want a future. With you.”

Rafe stood there for a moment, his mind scrambling to catch up with the magnitude of what you were saying. The idea of a life without his father’s control, without the constant tension, without all the chaos—it was almost too much to comprehend. But the one thing that stood out, clearer than anything, was you. You were standing there, offering him everything.

He stepped forward, his hand finding yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as if trying to ground himself in the reality of what was happening. “Then let’s do it,” he said, his voice fierce with determination. “Let’s leave this place behind, together.”

The words hit you like a breath of fresh air, lifting the heaviness that had been suffocating you. You didn’t have to pretend anymore, didn’t have to hide behind walls of fear or uncertainty. You could finally see a future, a future with him, far away from the chaos and the danger. Your heart swelled in your chest, and for the first time in what felt like forever, a genuine smile spread across your face.

Rafe noticed it instantly—how your eyes softened, how the sadness and strain seemed to melt away. The corners of your lips curled upward, and without thinking, you stepped into him, closing the space between you. His hand tightened around yours, but before he could say anything, your lips found his.

It was sudden, but it was everything. The kiss was deep, urgent, and filled with the unspoken promises you both had carried in silence. Rafe responded instinctively, pulling you closer, his hand sliding to the small of your back as if to hold you in place, as if he could anchor you to him, keep you safe, keep you close.

In one swift motion, Rafe lifted you off the ground, his arms strong around you, as if he could carry all of your burdens with the ease of holding you in his arms. You let out a soft, surprised laugh as he kicked the door shut behind him, still holding you against him, your lips still locked in a kiss that spoke louder than any words could.

Once he gently set you back on your feet, he didn’t immediately pull away. Instead, he carefully brushed a lock of hair from your face, his touch lingering on your skin. His eyes softened as he looked at you, a mixture of love, relief, and something deeper—something raw that he couldn’t hide even if he tried.

“I’m gonna give you the life you deserve,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I promise, Y/N.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him, feeling the weight of his words settle deep in your chest. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the conviction in his expression. This was no longer about survival or fear—it was about a future that was finally within reach.

You smiled, your heart full, your gaze unwavering as you met his. “You already are,” you whispered back, your voice barely above a breath, but it was enough. “Just being here with you... that’s all I ever wanted.”

Rafe’s expression softened further, a slow smile spreading across his face, and in that moment, you saw the man he could be—strong, protective, and driven by love rather than chaos.

"I love you, Y/N." The words hung between you like a promise, deep and unwavering. Rafe's breath caught for just a moment, the weight of what he'd just said settling in. He'd said it before, in fleeting moments, but now, in this moment, it felt different. There was no fear of loss, no uncertainty clouding his mind. It was just the raw truth.

"I love you, too, Rafe," you whispered back, your voice steady and sure. This time, you didn’t have to doubt it. It wasn’t just about the words—it was the way you felt in this moment, with him. Your pulse quickened, not from fear, but from the certainty of what was to come.

He pulled you closer, his arms strong around you as if to keep you tethered to him, to the life you were about to build. His lips brushed over your forehead, and then he pulled back just enough to look at you, his gaze unwavering, filled with all the raw emotion you’d both buried for too long.

With a soft smile, Rafe leaned down to kiss you again, this time more tender, slower, as if savoring the moment, cherishing the bond that had been built through all the chaos and uncertainty. This kiss was a promise—one of protection, of understanding, and above all, of love.

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[snowdrop-ivy]

Daylight

Summary: Bucky and Y/N must decide whether they’ll risk it all to rewrite their story—this time with no one running away.

A/N: Hey! This is a part two to Scott Street. If you wanna read the first part, you can read it here. Hope you enjoy this one!

Warning: This is spicy so minors please DNI!

The minute Bucky got home he immediately went to his office and stashed in his belongings for her picture. Her senior photo that he kept hidden and looked at every time he misses her. His heart raced, memories flooding back—the way her laugh used to fill the air, the way her eyes lit up when she was excited about something. But that light was gone now. He could see it earlier in the store, her smile didn't carry the warmth it once did. It felt distant, like she was miles away, even though she was standing right in front of him. Those pictures he has of her saved him, he kept reminiscing the memories that can’t happen again, holding onto the memories that will forever be missed.

He took a sip of whiskey, letting the burn travel down his throat, a poor distraction from the ache in his chest. He looked down at the old photo of her in his hand. It felt like a lifetime ago, back when they were carefree, when everything seemed possible. He traced the outline of her face with his finger, feeling the weight of time and missed chances bear down on him. 

Why the hell did I just let her go like that?

As the burn of the whiskey traveled down his throat, he knocked himself with questions he could never have the answer to. With a sigh, he placed the photo down, carefully, as if it might break if. He knew deep down that maybe, just maybe, everything they had was all just a memory now. He could still picture it vividly, the way her eyes sparkled with surprise, then melted into that familiar look of affection. But now, as he sat in his office, the laughter and love felt like a distant echo, lost in the years that had followed.

With a heavy heart, he closed his eyes, the memories rushing back, knowing that no amount of whiskey could erase the bittersweet reality of what they once shared.

“Come on, Bucky!” She exclaimed, holding his hand, laughter dancing in her voice. 

Bucky glided them to a stop, leaning on his knee, a wide grin plastered on his face. “Let’s slow down, doll, you’re going too fast.”

She tossed her head back, her laughter echoing in the chilly air, heaving her breaths in the middle of the ice rink. “Why don’t you keep up?” she teased him.

Bucky took a step closer, brushing a stray hair from her face, his heart pounding. “I won’t complain though, but I’d chase you anywhere,” he replied, softly, as soft as the clouds in the winter sky.

“You mean that?” She gently asked, her gaze locking onto his, a moment frozen in time. Their laughter faded, replaced by an electric tension that hummed between them. She took a small step forward, her breath hitching. 

“I always do, sweetheart,” he breathed, feeling the warmth radiating from her. “Always.”

Bucky hesitated at first but then he tucked her hair behind her ear, resting his hand on her cheeks, circling on it. As they stood there, surrounded by the twinkling lights and chilly air of the rink, the world seemed to melt away with his gingerly touch. It was just the two of them, caught in a whirlwind of unspoken feeling, meaningful looks, and hesitant hope. Bucky could feel the magnetic pull, the undeniable connection urged him closer.

“Buck…” she called, her voice a soft lullaby, but before she could finish, he closed the distance, capturing her lips in a slow kiss that ignited everything within him. Their warmths uniting, and in that fleeting moment, all their thoughts melted away. He didn’t know how it was possible, but she was sweeter than he ever imagined. His hands tangled in her hair as she held his watching, clutching on his leather jacket as if he might slip away.

As she pulled back, breathless, leaning on each other. She found him smiling, touching her face as a sensory reaction that he was not dreaming. That what happened isn’t one of his dreams. He was about to say something when she heard their names called out.

“Hey!” Becca called from his car. “Let’s go!”

She quickly pulled back, clearing her throat, before walking back to the car. It was awkward, well for her maybe it was. Bucky hung his head, his hands on his waist, mentally cursing his sister for ruining the moment. Bucky slipped into the driver’s seat, tension simmering in the air. He forced a smile at his sister, but his mind was still replaying the kiss, the warmth of her lips lingering like a soft memory he couldn’t shake.

“I looked for you two everywhere,” Becca said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “What’d you guys do?”

“Just…” Bucky sighed. “Took a break in the ice,” he muttered, trying to sound nonchalant. He shot a quick glance at her through the rearview mirror, he catched her gaze for a split second before she turned her head to the window. The atmosphere felt thick with unspoken words, and he could sense the tension radiating from her. The drive home was filled with the sounds of his sister’s chatter, but Bucky’s mind was elsewhere, still lingering on the moment they had shared. He could see Y/N in the backseat, lost in thought, her fingers tracing patterns on her knee. A part of him wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap that had widened between them since that kiss, but the fear of rejection held him back.

“Come on, Buck, your party’s starting and Mom’s gonna kill us,” Becca chuckled as she got out of the car to enter their backyard full of people waiting for the celebrant.

She quickly followed her but Bucky, quick as a lightning, rushed to her side pulling her arm to turn her around. “Hey,” he breathed, gazing into her eyes flickering with anxiety. 

She gulped, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten. She could sense the gravity of the moment pressing down on them, amplifying the uncertainty swirling in the air. “Hey,” she plastered a smile on her face.

“About that,” his heart raced searching for the right words. He took a step closer but she took a step back, leaving a gap between them. Bucky’s heart sank. He could see the conflict etching on her face. He was about to continue when she cut him off. 

“Don’t worry about it, Buck, it happens,” she faked a smile before turning her back on him, entering his party with a heavy heart and mind a stark contrast to the sound of laughter and music drifting through the air.

As she joined the gathering, the vibrant atmosphere felt suffocating. Friends chatted and danced around her, their joy a reminder of the happiness she once felt. But now, it all feels hollow. She quickly grabbed a drink before joining their group of friends. She forced herself to laugh at jokes, to engage in conversations, but her mind was elsewhere—lost in thoughts of Bucky and the painful reality of what they could never be. 

Bucky felt a tightness in his chest as he observed Y/N from across the room. She wore a brave face, laughing at the jokes, but he could see the forced smile that never quite reached her eyes. The way she interacted with their friends was a façade, a mask she put on to hide the turmoil beneath the surface. She kept glancing his way, her eyes searching for something—perhaps for reassurance or maybe a way out.

She glanced one more time, to find him in the crowd of people, but she couldn’t. She took a deep breath, calming down her senses and the turmoil brewing inside her. She excused herself, walked around their family house to find a space to let her get herself lost in her thoughts. She quickly went to his room, confident that he was still at the party downstairs. 

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as she stood frozen in the doorway, her heart racing at the unexpected sight of Bucky. His back was turned to her, muscles flexing as he pulled a clean shirt over his head. The room felt suddenly too small, filled with an electric tension that made her pulse quicken. She hadn’t meant to intrude, but now that she was here, it felt like fate.

“Y/N?” Bucky turned, surprise flashing across his face before it quickly morphed into something deeper, a mix of concern and curiosity. “What are you doing here?”

She opened her mouth to respond but found her words tangled in the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her. The vulnerability of the moment hung heavy in the air. “I—” she started, but nothing seemed to come out right. She took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go, sorry.”

But he was quick to dart across the room, closing the door. He stood in front of her, his eyes narrowing as she watched her hug herself, head hung to the ground.

“Look at me,” he said, softly but firm.

She raised her chin and saw the flicker in his eyes. She hitched when she felt his hand reaching out to hers but she quickly pulled it back. “Stop it, Bucky,” she said with despair. She felt her head win instead of the thing in her chest as she walked towards his bed, as if the room would get bigger as she walked further.

“Stop what?” Bucky questioned, gazing at her back.

“This!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “We can’t keep kissing each other then go back to being friends! That’s not how this fucking works, especially when I’m deeply in love with you!”

Bucky’s eyes widened at her outburst, his heart pounding in his chest. The weight of her confession hung in the air, tangible and electrifying. He had always sensed there was something more beneath the surface, but hearing her say it out loud made everything feel infinitely more real.

“Y/N...” he started, but she cut him off, frustration mingling with vulnerability.

“No! Just let me finish,” she said, her voice rising slightly as she paced the small space between them. “I can’t keep pretending that what we have is just a friendship. It’s not fair to either of us. Every time we kiss, it’s like I’m falling for you all over again, and then I have to go back to acting like nothing happened, like I’m not dying inside!”

Bucky felt a rush of emotions: guilt, longing, and an overwhelming desire to pull her close. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” he replied softly, taking a step closer. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Then stop making it so complicated!” She said, turning to face him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I love you. Do you love me?”

The intensity of her words struck him, and he could see the pain etched across her face. Bucky took a deep breath, grounding himself in the moment. His mind searched for words to say, how to confront her with the truth that he does, he’s just not ready yet. Not when he’s still a struggling drummer in a band.

His silence was her answer. She gave out a mirthless laugh, running her hand through her hair. “I guess that’s my answer,” she softly said. 

Bucky lowered his head, he heard her footsteps towards the door. With a sudden move, he pulled her to him, crashing his lips into hers, sliding his hands against her back.

It was different from the one on the rink, or the one after their gig, or the first one in her new apartment. This was different, a little desperate but still slow. Her mind raced till her heart won, letting herself lose in his kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck through his hair, tugging it slightly. She begged him for more and he did, but this was far more; his kiss radiated down her spine as he stole her last breath, a chill rushed through her core and the goosebumps that followed were inevitable. As their tongues locked and slid against each other, her heart fluttered with desire and its steady drumbeat silently made its way between her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his and he caught her, settling his hand on her ass and the other on the crook of her neck as he walked towards the bed, gently laying her down as he followed. Bucky held back for a second, tugging on his shirt between his shoulders and pulled it over his head. She watched him take it off before settling back down against her. Her hands around down his arm as she felt the goosebumps. His hands slid under the waist of her shirt, inching it up while he touched the curves of her side, until she leaned up to help him take it off, joining his shirt at the unknown part of the room.

Gorgeous under the moonlight, she lay before him, a breathtaking vision of vulnerability and beauty. The silvery glow cascaded over her bare skin, illuminating every curve and contour as if she were a masterpiece carved by the hands of the gods. He was stunned by her bareness, the sheer audacity of her openness, and the intoxicating reality of a dream he had never thought would come to life.

She quickly reached his neck, crashing their lips together again. Enjoying the moment, learning to memorize their bodies. Bucky groaned in her ears as she wrapped her legs against him, grinding at his hardening member.

His lips journeyed to her neck, savoring the tender skin as he sucked gently at the spot that elicited her sweetest moans. Each caress sent shivers down her spine, igniting a fire deep within her. His hands found her jeans, fingers teasingly poised, waiting for the moment she would lift her hips just enough to help him peel them away.

As he mapped a trail of soft kisses along her body, he worshiped every curve: from the graceful slope of her neck, down to the luscious hills of her breasts, then trailing lower to her soft, inviting stomach. He paused, relishing the intoxicating sight of her bareness, each inch of her skin illuminated by the soft light that surrounded them.

With deliberate slowness, he let his fingers drift down from her delicate ankles, exploring the silkiness of her legs, until they reached the tender space between her thighs. He gently separated her lips, granting himself access to the sweetest, most intimate parts of her, his heart racing as he prepared to unveil the depths of her pleasure.

She hitched as he touched her clit, surprised that he knew where it was since her experiences usually don't, as she fisted her hands into his hair. Bucky grinned, enticed by her reaction, as he began to circle the tip of his fingers at her entrance. He listened to the changes in her breaths, the moans slipping past, Buckly leaned in and wrapped his tongue around her clit.

“Oh god, Bucky,” she whined, hands shaking at his hair, gripping it tight.

Bucky felt his pride choking up. The way she cried his name made him press his slicked fingers inside her. The way he dreamt about this was so different– he never dreamed about her sounds, her angelic sounds. She was so sensitive to his touch. He felt a rush and he had to keep it in pace as he added a third finger, curling them enough to massage the walls, he felt her walls squeezing tight at his fingers. Fueling up the desire happening between his legs.

With his curling fingers and tongue lapping at her wetness, sucking at her sensitive bundle of nerves, it was the perfect race out to the high as it built her core, it only took a movement before she reached her high, crying out his name, legs shaking on his back, he kept moving slower and slower until he tasted her juices on his tongue.

“Fuck me,” she exhaled, laughing echoed in the heated air.

He grinned, crawling back to her with a sense of pride, deepening his lips against her that she could taste her juices, but she wasn’t complaining, certainly making him want her more. “Will do,” he breathed against her lips, tugging down his pants and boxers, his member slapped to his stomach.

She gasped as she took in his sight. His curved muscles, his long, hard member. He saw the lust on her eyes firing up. As she stood up, gaze still locked on each other, she reached out for his member, pumping his cock slowly, a premature pearl of cum gathering at the head, tapping his cock against her tongue before taking it all in, sucking the tip with an unknown hunger.

“Holy shit.” His legs trembled at the shock of her sudden confidence. “Fucking hell, doll.”

She swiped her tongue against the head of his dick, moaning at his salty taste. She watched him get lost in pleasure, his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he bobbed his head. He saw her eyes widened as she gagged around him, gripping his hips to ground herself. She felt every inch of him on her throat as his tip reached her windpipe, she coughed harshly, sputtering around him.

He held her by her cheeks, cupping her face as he collided their lips together. He pulled away as she composed her breath. “As much as I like you sucking my dick. I’ve thought of every scenario that can prolong my cum but nothing’s working with that mouth of yours.”

Her laughter echoed in the air. “Jesus, Bucky, don’t even joke.”

Bucky kissed her again, swiftly brushing his tongue against her as he laid her down the bed. Her hands tangled on his head as he pumped his cock before slowly. Then, he felt the hitch of her breath against the nape of his neck, he sank into her. Her legs wrapped at his waist to offer an angle that left their jaws slacked. Her eyes fluttered closed, lips parted, and he felt a rush unlike anything he’d ever known. He felt a sense of relief as he did in that moment. To have her, completely and entirely his.

The bite she gave on his shoulder urged him move, slowly rocking his hips against her. Steady and slow. Hungry. Until he felt the wince of pain from her nails digging on his scalp, he couldn’t prolong the euphoria building up.

Chasing to their highs. He could tell she was close from the squeeze in her walls around. He once again took everything he could think of not to come on the spot, holding on, waiting, watching as her lips parted, screaming out his name, like the most beautiful sound he had laid his ears on, crying out.

“Holy fuck–fuck–Bucky, that’s it, right there,” Her breath, hot against his neck, sloppily kissing and biting his neck. “I’m–ah– so close. ”

“Cum for me, doll,” he breathed, his voice a sultry whisper against her temple as he pressed soft kisses along her skin. His fingers worked in a feverish rhythm, rubbing quick circles on her sensitive clit while his hips snapped against her, driving her closer to the edge. She gasped, a hitch in her breath that echoed in the charged air between them, the sound of her need a symphony of desperation. Whines escaped her lips, each one a plea, a yearning that set his heart racing.

It wasn’t until her body went slack, breaths deepening in satisfied surrender, that he finally found his release, feeling the rush that flooded through him like wildfire. He continued to rut lazily against her, his movements tender yet possessive, as he collapsed onto her, panting, a wild mix of exhaustion and ecstasy washing over him. The high they chased together transcended anything he had ever experienced; it was a natural euphoria, a raw connection that no drug could replicate.

He hummed softly into the curve of her collarbone, letting the weight of his body sink into hers for a moment before shifting to lie beside her. She turned to face him, her fingers gliding over his arms, exploring every defined muscle until they settled on his face, a silent worship of the man before her. His arm curled around her neck, pulling her closer as he kissed her deeply, their breaths mingling, hearts racing in perfect sync. Their legs intertwined, a beautiful mess of limbs that spoke of intimacy and trust.

With his other hand, he traced gentle circles on her flushed cheeks, his gaze locked onto hers, sparkling with a light that took his breath away. She had never looked more enchanting, the sheen of sweat glistening on her skin, her expression blissful and serene. He watched in awe as she drifted off to dreamland, surrendering to the peace that enveloped them. In that tranquil moment, he leaned in, kissing every inch of her face, a lover's exploration filled with tenderness and adoration, cherishing the beauty of the woman who had captivated his heart so completely.

“I love you,” he breathed. “I have loved you since I saw you first during freshman playing soccer and I love you till now,” he smiled at the thought– their first meet. “I’ll be better, Y/N, I’ll give you everything you deserve.”

He looked at her one last time till he fell asleep. With a determination to shift his goal to be able to give her everything she needs and wants. But what he didn’t know was that night was the last time he’ll see her ever again. When he woke up in the sun blazing his eyes, she was gone. No notes or letters left. He ran down the stairs to find his sister having breakfast. Her eyes widened at the sudden intrusion.

“Dude! You–” She was abruptly cut off by her brother.

“Where’s Y/N?” He quickly asked, breaths quickening.

“What?” She answered back, brow raising. “I never saw her. Did she sleep here?”

“Fuck!” He cursed, rambling back to his room to call her on his phone, he paced around the room waiting for her to pick up.

“The number you have reached is no longer available. Please try your call again later.”

Just as he was about to sink deeper into nostalgia, his phone rang, jolting him back to reality. It was an unknown number, and for a fleeting moment, he let himself hope that it might be her, that maybe she’d changed her mind.

With a deep breath, he swiped to answer the call. “Hello?”

There was a brief silence on the other end before he heard a sigh. “Hey…”

His heart beated out of his chest at the sound of her voice, disbelief flooded him. “Doll? Is this you?”

“Yeah,” He heard him sniff, as her voice trembled. “It’s me.”

“How are you? Where are you?” He asked, his tone a mix of relief and concern.

“Outside your house,” She admitted, hugging herself.

Bucky rushed to the window and swung it open, his heart racing at the sight before him. There she stood, Y/N, just a few feet away, looking both fragile and fierce at the same time, with her bags at her side. Her eyes were swelling with tears, glistening like the morning dew, and her nose was red from sniffing back the tears.

“Holy shit! Y/N, what are you doing here?” He called out, voice filled with surprise and apprehension.

She looked up, meeting his gaze, and for a moment, they were back in the ice rink where the world was lost around them. He saw the lingering in her expression but there was also a flicker of hope. “Bucky,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I found my answer.”

Without thinking, Bucky ran down the stairs, his heart pounding as he hurried to meet her in the street. He stood in front of Y/N, the space between them charged with unspoken feelings, thick with the longing that had simmered for years. Slowly, he wiped away her tears, and she leaned into his touch, finding solace in the warmth of his hand.

“What’s your answer?” he asked gently, lifting her chin so their eyes met. His anxiety was palpable, but his gaze was full of hope.

She bit her lip, her voice shaky as she took a deep breath. “I look at you, and I just... I love you,” she admitted, her words raw and vulnerable. “And it scared me so much because you didn’t answer me that night. I thought I’d lost you.”

“Doll,” he whispered, his own tears threatening to spill as he brushed hers away. “It terrified me too. I love you so much, it scared me just as much. But I didn’t run. I looked for you everywhere, but you were gone.”

Her eyes widened, stunned by his confession. “Y-you love me?” she asked, disbelief and hope intertwining in her voice. For so long, she thought her feelings had been one-sided.

“I fucking do,” he chuckled through the tears now blurring his vision. “Since I first saw you during freshman year, playing soccer, tackling everyone to the ground,” he added with a playful grin, trying to lighten the moment.

She laughed softly, remembering the memory, her heart swelling with bittersweet emotions.

“Why didn’t you answer me that night?” she softly asked, sniffing her tears.

“I got scared,” he admitted, gazing into her eyes. “I was a drummer in a band. That couldn’t even feed me three times a day and I didn’t want you to risk that version of myself.”

“I don’t care whether you’re some drummer in a band or big-ass lawyer,” she said, raising her head at him.

“Well I did,” he answered, truthfully. “But I gotta admit,” his voice turned serious again. “I was hurt when you left. You could’ve sent a message, left a note, something. Because what’s more painful than being abandoned... was knowing I wasn’t worth an explanation.”

At those words, she broke. She rushed into his arms, her sobs muffled against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Bucky.”

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, holding her tight, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. “It’s all okay now. We’re here, together, and that’s what matters. I'm the one who should apologize for being a coward and not tell you the truth.”

They held each other close, the years of heartache slowly unraveling as they found comfort in each other’s embrace. Bucky was the one to pull away first, but only just, his hands still gently cradling her face. He gazed into her eyes, his breath catching as he soaked in the reality of her being there, in his arms.

Slowly, deliberately, he leaned in, his heart pounding in his chest. His lips hovered over hers for a moment, seeking permission, filled with anticipation. She closed her eyes, her breath shaky but steady, and that was all he needed. He pressed his lips to hers in a soft, tender kiss. It was a kiss filled with longing, with love, with the hope of a second chance.

Y/N melted into the kiss, her hands resting on his chest as if she’d been waiting for this moment forever. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them—wrapped in a bubble of emotion, finally united after all the years of separation.

He leaned against her, still catching his breath as she pulled away, her lips curving into a smile. “What’d you say we take this inside and pick up where we left off that night?” he teased, his voice low and playful.

She shook her head, grinning softly. “I got a better idea,” she said, her eyes twinkling with a new kind of hope. “Why don’t we take this inside and make new memories, the kind where no one runs in the morning and be honest to each other-- whether it hurts?”

Bucky’s smile widened, a warmth spreading through his chest as her words settled in. “I prefer that one, doll,” he whispered, his heart light for the first time in years.

With her hand in his, they turned toward the house, ready to start again—not from where they left off, but from a place where they could truly begin.

~End~

[eyesthatroll]

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!

pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader

request: could u pls write something with jack teaching the reader how to skate? maybe she’s just awful but he finds it so cute and he’s so proud when she manages to something he taught her 😭

warning(s): kissing, fluff, established relationship, barely edited (only skimmed i think twice?), ending is kind of random as i wasn’t sure how i wanted to end it !

word count: 1.6k

author’s note: to whomever requested this, i hope it is to your liking!! i think i may have changed your request a bit, but i still hope you enjoy it <33 feel free to send any requests you have, i’m finally going through them :) —mari

"Are we the only ones here?" Your voice echoes faintly in the empty expanse of the skating rink, as you and Jack stroll into the serene emptiness. One of his hands is warmly ensconced in yours, while the other deftly balances both pairs of skates, as well as a helmet wedged underneath his arm. You make an impish attempt to reach over and grab your skates, but he swiftly moves them just out of your reach.

"Wait," he warns, a mischievous smile playing on his lips as he teases you, playful anticipation radiating his aura.

Jack leads you to a seat on one of the weathered wooden benches that encircles the perimeter of the ice rink. With a graceful flourish, he drops to one knee before you, his skilled fingers deftly undoing the laces of your shoes. As he slips your skates onto your feet, his strong hands envelop your ankles, firmly but not uncomfortably, ensuring they are snugly secured. He ties your laces with ease, occasionally glancing up at you to gauge your reaction and make sure everything felt just right.

You can't contain your excitement, practically beaming with elation as you lean affectionately into Jack's shoulder, when he settles next to you to begin lacing up his own skates.

Today marked your inaugural foray into the world of ice skating. You had plenty of experience with rollerblading, and although ice skating presented a distinct challenge, being on ice rather than pavement, you held a strong confidence that not only would you adapt quickly, but you would excel at it.

Jack shifts his body to face you, his attention drawn to the hockey helmet resting on his left side. He reaches for it, intending to place it securely on your head, but your hand swiftly intercepts his, smacking it away with an assertive motion. You shake your head in disagreement, a hint of stubbornness in your expression.

"I don't need that!" You whine, and your lower lip pokes out in a pouty display of defiance.

Jack's laughter escapes in a throaty chuckle at your protests, but he ignores your whims by gently positioning the helmet on your head. With practiced ease, he tightens the bottom latch to ensure a snug and secure fit. "Better safe than sorry," he remarks with a playful grin, his actions reflecting a caring concern for your well-being.

Something about witnessing you in his element, swathed in his oversized sweater and donning his helmet adorned with the number 86 on the front, ignited a fresh wave of desire within Jack. It was as if this very moment was tailor-made to rekindle his love for you, to remind him of the innate perfection of your relationship. The idea of teaching you to skate at a local rink in Michigan, so close to your shared hometowns, felt like a picture-perfect scenario, filled with nostalgia and an honest promise of new memories.

Rising to his feet, Jack extends his arm toward you, and you eagerly seize his hand. As you arrive at your feet, the transition happens a bit too quickly, causing your legs to wobble within the confines of the skates. This sudden imbalance leads you to stumble, and you instinctively brace yourself against the reassuring solidity of the wooden bench. Jack can’t help but burst into laughter at your momentary mishap, his head shaking in amusement at your initial stumble, marking it as the first of many moments to come on this eventful day.

Approaching you with an amused smile, Jack uses both of his hands to assist you back onto your feet. Once you are standing again, he casually drapes an arm over your shoulder, drawing you closer. Together, the two of you take tentative steps onto the ice's smooth expanse. "C'mon, sweet girl," he encourages, "we've only got an hour."

As you cautiously glide along the ice in your skates, it becomes abundantly clear within moments that this endeavor was going to be exponentially more challenging than roller skating had ever been. The initial confidence you had regarding ice skating had quickly dissipated, replaced by a sense of unease and uncertainty.

"Don't let go." You caution, still taking a provisionary moment to acclimate to the unfamiliar terrain beneath your skates.

Jack flashes a reassuring smile, his grip on your hands unwavering as he essentially guides you around the rink. "It's just like riding a bike."

You cast him an incredulous glance, and his expression turns momentarily blank. "You do know how to ride a bike, right?" he asks.

Smacking him on the shoulder, you shake your head, a slight grin breaking across your lips. "Of course I know how to ride a bike, Jack. It's just a bad analogy," you quip, punctuating your words with a playful eye roll.

It's a few more minutes of the two of you gliding around the ice, Jack remaining vigilant, ensuring you don't lose your balance, before a progressive, newfound sense of confidence wells up within you, allowing you to feel secure enough to venture out of his protective embrace. "I'm ready to go solo now," you declare.

Jack slows to a halt, his hands gently releasing yours. Hesitantly, your legs propel you forward, gliding across the ice with increasing assurance. Your hands extend out in front of you as you gradually pick up speed, and with infectious enthusiasm, you call out to your boyfriend, "Jack, look! Look at me!"

He breaks into laughter, a heartfelt and infectious sound that reverberates from deep within his belly. "That's my girl!" he cheers, his eyes filled with pride and adoration as he watches you on the ice.

"This is so ea—" You start to twist around to glance back at him, your excitement almost tangible, but as you make an attempt to turn, your skates get tangled, and you comedically tumble onto the ice with a resounding thud.

Jack gasps, his face a mask of shock that valiantly tries to suppress another bout of laughter. Quickly, he glides over to you, bending down to offer his hand to help you up. "Are you okay?"

You don't intend to turn this humorous moment into something more profound, but as you stand in Jack's warm embrace, gazing up at the joyful grin on his face and the rosy flush in his cheeks from the chilly air, you can't help but feel a rush of emotion. "I'm really happy to be here with you," you admit, sincerely.

After your slight mishap, you and Jack continue to glide across the ice, enjoying the remainder of your time together. Laughter fills the air as you goof off, and you manage to keep your balance, thankfully avoiding any more falls. However, as the clock ticks down to the last ten minutes, you skate over to Jack with a hopeful expression. "Can we please try the jump from Dirty Dancing?"

It's Jack's turn to shoot you an incredulous look. "That seems dangerous."

"You don't feel comfortable lifting me on the ice?" An exaggerated frown graces your lips.

"I do, but I'm not entirely sure you'll be able to skate over to me and jump." He's teasing now, subtly mentioning your last fall without mentioning it.

You gracefully fold your arms like a ballerina twirling in her ballet shoes, effortlessly gliding in a small circle. "See? I've improved. Can we please give it a try?"

Jack stares at your pleading expression, shaking his head in surrender.

"Okay fine, but if this goes south, and you injure me, then the entire state of New Jersey will have your head."

You skate to the opposite end of the rink as him. "What about me, huh? What if I get injured?"

"This was your idea!" You can't help but laugh at his statement, unable to control your amusement.

"Okay, on three," you initiate a countdown, your voice laced with anticipation. As each number passes, your excitement builds, and when you reach one, you explode into a spirited sprint toward the opposite end of the ice rink. Jack stands there, prepared and determined, waiting for your arrival.

You launch yourself into a full-fledged jump, the cold air whipping past you as your body takes flight. Jack effortlessly catches you, his strong hands securely gripping your waist as he attempts to lift you over his head. However, a sudden wave of nervousness washes over you, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist as best you can with your skates on, drawing yourself closer to him.

Jack's lips curl into a smile as he playfully questions, "What was that?"

You confess with a hint of embarrassment, "I got scared." And despite your initial hesitation, being in Jack's arms makes you feel safe and exhilarated all at once.

Jack's lips find yours almost instantly, and as they meld together, it feels as if your mouths were designed to fit together seamlessly. Your fingers delicately tug at his hair, provoking a soft gasp that grants your tongue access to his mouth. Your tongues engage in a sensuous dance, their movements intricate and synchronized, creating a passionate connection that's almost like a meticulously woven tapestry of desire and longing.

Jack withdraws from your lips, his forehead coming to rest against yours as you both gasp for breath. "I'm so obsessed with you," he confesses, his words laden with desire.

Arching an eyebrow, you tease, "I'm telling the boys you said that so they can make fun of you."

He buries his head in the crook of your neck, a deep groan escaping his lips. "Please don't."

[velarisdusk]

Veil of Frost

Cassian x Reader

Series Masterlist Part 6 <-

word count: 4.3k content: [ emotional conflict, arguing, yelling, name calling, mention of infidelity, explicit language, angst ] summary: A heated confrontation with Cassian uncovers painful truths, forcing both of you to face the devastation of what's been lost. author's note: we made it!! thank you all for reading and replying and asking lots of questions, it really kept my love for this fic up. come november, i'll be working on some requests and also feeling out some ideas for whatever my next series may be :) i hope yall will like whatever i've got in store just as much as you liked breaking the ice :) MWAH much love <3

The silence after his words hit like a bomb going off. The room felt impossibly small, the air too thick, and you could barely breathe through the weight of it all. You stood frozen in the middle of the living room, surrounded by the memories you’d made together, staring at him as the realization of what he had just said settled deep into your bones. 

Elain. Right here. On this couch.

Your stomach twisted painfully, bile rising in your throat as your eyes drifted to the sofa, where you’d both spent so many quiet nights wrapped in each other’s arms. Now, the thought of it made your skin crawl, a hand instinctively rising to your mouth as you fought a gag at the thought of having tasted Elain on him.

“Cassian…” Your voice trembled, barely a whisper. “What the fuck did you just say?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his eyes lingered on you, cold and hard, his posture relaxed, as if daring you to question him further. The cruel glint in his eyes sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through your body. His hand rested on the doorknob like he was already halfway out, leaving you to suffocate in this mess. 

You swallowed thickly, stepping toward him, your legs weak, but your anger slowly rising to meet the despair. 

“Cass, answer me,” you demanded, voice rising steadily. You could hear the clock ticking in the corner, the seconds stretching out like hours.

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching as if amused by your desperation. Slowly, deliberately, he shrugged—casually, like it was the simplest, most insignificant thing in the world. 

“You heard me,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion, just cold indifference. “Elain. Right here.”

His gaze flicked down to the couch, where the two of them had been, where the two of you had been, and back to you as if to drive the knife in deeper. And then with that same nonchalance, he added, “Raw.”

The way he said it, the casual cruelty in his voice, felt like a punch to the gut. You could feel your skin prickle with humiliation, with fury, as the bile in your throat threatened to choke you. He watched you, waiting for you to react, his expression still cold and detached, like he wasn’t talking about something that should’ve destroyed both of you. Like this was just another conversation. 

You felt your hand twitch at your side, tempted to grab something—the whiskey glass he left on the counter, the potted plant on the coffee table, anything—but you clenched your fists instead. The pain was so sharp, so overwhelming, but underneath it all, the anger was simmering, threatening to boil over. 

“You…” you started, voice trembling but growing stronger with each word, fury building in your chest like a storm. “You’re… disgusting.”

“And you’re a fucking joke,” Cassian snapped, his voice sharp. He didn’t even flinch. He snatched his hand off the doorknob, turning to face you fully, the cold detachment in his eyes igniting a fire in your veins.  “You think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think I’d never even suspect it?” How could he stand there like this meant nothing? Like you meant nothing?

“How the fuck could you do that?” you spat, stepping toward him, hands trembling. “Elain of all people?”

Cassian’s eyes flicked up to yours, a bitter smirk tugging at his lips. “Don’t act like you’re any better,” he said, voice low and biting. “You fucked the whole team. My goddamn friends…” He pointed toward the shattered picture frame lying on the floor beneath the wall, the glass reflecting the remnants of the bonds he once thought unbreakable. The photo inside, now a bloodied mess, had captured a moment of camaraderie, laughter shared between him and the very people who betrayed him. 

Your heart pounded, your voice rising, anger spilling over. “That doesn’t give you the right to–”

“Oh, spare me,” he interrupted, stepping closer, eyes flashing with an icy rage. “Don’t act like you have any right to be angry. The flirting, the little touches—fine. But you went too fucking far,” he said, jabbing a finger toward you. 

You could feel the heat building under your skin, your shame burning up through your chest, fusing with the anger like gasoline on a fire. “That doesn’t make what you did with Elain okay!” you shouted, voice breaking. “I made a mistake–”

“A mistake?” Cassian scoffed, his cruel laugh sharp as a blade. “You didn’t trip and fall onto their dicks, you spread your legs for them. You chose it. Every. Single. Time.”

His words hit like a slap, your whole body tensing. “Don’t fucking talk to me like that–”

“Or what?” he shot back, stepping even closer, his face inches from yours. His eyes burned into you, the tension between you crackling. “What are you gonna do, huh? Run back to Eris?”

You flinched at the name, your heart hammering in your chest. “I never wanted to hurt you,” you whispered, voice trembling, trying to hold on to any sense of control.

“Bullshit,” he snapped, cutting you off. “You wanted to get fucked. That’s all it was about. You didn’t care about me, about us. You just wanted the attention.” His lip curled in disgust as his fingers flexed at his sides. His gaze locked onto you, daring you to deny it. “Was it worth it?”

You knew you were spiraling, but you couldn’t stop. The guilt, the shame, it all swirled into something reckless. “Maybe it was!” you blurted out, your voice breaking as you threw your hands up. “Maybe it was worth it in the moment–”

“Oh, was it?” Cassian’s voice dripped with sarcasm, incredulous, his eyes narrowing as he loomed over you.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you spun away from him, your arms jerking frantically in frustration.  “God forbid I feel some fucking excitement for once in my goddamn life–”

“You fucked all of them, (y/n)!” The shout exploded from him, cutting through the air like a knife. You froze at the sound of his voice, your breath catching in your throat as the words hit you square in the chest. The room seemed to shrink, his fury overwhelming everything as you turned back to face him. His eyes locked onto yours, watching as the reality of what he’d said sank in, your entire body stiffening in response. “All of them! That was a fucking choice, and you know it!”

His voice echoed in the small apartment, louder than the ticking clock, louder than the memories, slamming into you with a force that nearly knocked you back. Your pulse pounded in your ears as you stared at him, feeling the weight of everything crash down on you at once. The room felt too hot, too small, as if the walls themselves were pressing down, threatening to bury you alive under the weight of it all.

“Yeah,” you snapped, throwing your arms out in defiance, desperate to defend yourself, to fight back despite the crushing guilt. “It was a choice. So what?”

His eyes widened, disbelief flashing across his face as he stepped toward you, his towering frame making the distance between you feel even smaller. Though he was still several feet away, the sheer force of his presence made it feel like he was crowding every breath you took. “So what?” he repeated, his anger radiating off of him in waves. His hand shot out, gesturing wildly to the apartment around you, the couch, the room, the life you’d built together. “Do you even fucking hear yourself?”

You did. You hated it, but you couldn’t stop. The anger was driving you now, reckless and raw. “I can’t believe you’re acting so innocent in this!” You matched his volume, circling to the back of the couch, putting some distance between you. “You fucked my friend too!”

“You think I’m the one who did this?” he shot back, following you, the tension crackling. “You threw it all away for what? Some thrill?”

“Don’t you dare try to act like you know what I wanted!” You stood near the hall now, eyes locking on the picture frames hanging on the wall, Cassian mere feet ahead of you. “I just wanted to feel something more than this! This boring, endless fucking cycle!”

In one swift motion, your hand flew to the picture frames on the wall, ripping one down without even thinking and hurling it across the room. The glass shattered against the hardwood floor, splintering in every direction, like the jagged edges of a broken promise, cutting through the air. Cassian flinched at the sound, his gaze snapping to the broken frame. “Don’t you fucking dare blame this on me,” he hissed, voice shaking with barely-contained rage. “I didn’t push you into anyone’s bed!”

“No, you didn’t!” you fired back, your chest heaving with every breath, the tears you’d been holding back finally burning in your eyes. You could feel yourself unraveling, but there was no going back now. “But I wasn’t happy! I didn’t–”

“Bullshit!” he roared, his voice thundering through the room as he slammed his fist into the drywall, rattling the remaining picture frames and leaving a gaping hole in its wake. “You weren’t happy? You?” He laughed, a bitter, broken sound, his hands clenching and unclenching like he didn’t know what to do with them. “You had everything! I gave you everything!” He struck his chest with an open palm, his words echoing in the small space. “Everything, and you threw it away because what, you needed ‘excitement’?”

You felt your whole body shaking, trembling with fury and regret as you shoved past him, pacing the length of the small living room. “It wasn’t like that–”

“Like hell it wasn’t!” Cassian’s voice cracked, his hands flying to his hair, tugging at the roots in frustration. He spun toward you, his face contorted in disbelief. “You think I didn’t give you everything I had to give? You think I didn’t love you more than life?”

Your throat tightened, and you could see the heartbreak he was barely holding together. But you were too deep in it.

“I didn’t say that,” you muttered, the fight draining from your voice for just a moment, but Cassian wasn’t done.

“Then what the fuck is it, (y/n)? What was missing? What the fuck could I have done to stop you from running to them?” He pointed toward the door, his hand shaking as if he could see every one of them standing just outside, their shadows lingering in the doorway, waiting to take what was left of you.

You swallowed hard, tears still spilling down your cheeks as you whispered, “I don’t know.”

Cassian’s jaw clenched tightly, nostrils flaring as he stared you down. “You don’t know?” he shouted, his voice rising like a raging storm. “You don’t know? After everything we had, you’re telling me you just…don’t know? You don’t know why you cheated on me? Five fucking times?”

“Three… four if you count what happened at Ianthe’s…” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

Cassian stared at you, eyes widening as he processed the revelation. “No…” His breath caught in his throat, the gravity of your confession hitting him like a punch to the gut. “You let them…” You watched as his eyes flared with rage, his voice rising to a near roar. “Are you fucking kidding me? You just—how could you? At the same time (y/n), are you serious?” He stepped forward, closing the distance between you.

“Did you think it was some kind of game?” He gestured wildly, the pain etched across his face morphing into rage. “You think this is a joke? You let them take you like that? You think I’m just supposed to stand here and take it?” His voice thundered off the walls, every word laced with venom.

“Cassian, I–” you stammered, but the words lodged in your throat, leaving you grasping for something, anything, to say.

“They don’t want you!” he continued, eyes blazing with anger. “I loved you! All they wanted was a quick fuck, and you just let them! How could you be so stupid?”

His words cut through you like shards of glass, igniting a whirlwind of doubts in your mind. Loved. The past tense hung heavy in the air. Was he already moving on? Was Elain really just a rebound, or did he genuinely believe he might care for her?

You couldn’t help but think of Eris, recalling how he’d been there for you. Had that tenderness been real? Or was it just a façade to get closer to you while Cassian kept his distance? The confusion gnawed at you, a storm of uncertainty swirling within.

“Do you even understand the mess you made?” Cassian’s voice snapped you back to reality, his voice quiet but the rage still palpable. “I gave you everything I had, and you threw it away for nothing.”

Your heart raced, caught between the chaos of his anger and the torment of your guilt. “I didn’t–” you started, shaking your head in disbelief. “You don’t understand what it was like for me. Each time, I felt like I was suffocating… Trapped.”

Cassian took a step back, looking at you with disgust. “Trapped?” he repeated, disbelief etched across his features. “You were living in paradise! You had a goddamned menu of men to choose from whenever you wanted them! Do you have any idea how that feels?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“Tell me,” Cassian stepped closer, his eyes boring into yours. “Were there times I fucked you right after one of them did?” His voice was a whisper full of rage and pain that sent chills down your spine.

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, your gaze dropping to the floor as the truth ached in your chest. 

“Who?” he demanded, his voice dropping low. You hesitated, your mind racing with dozens of bad ideas to escape this mess. Your heart pounded in your throat, primal instincts urging you to run. 

But you stood frozen.

“Who?” he repeated, louder this time, stepping closer, invading your space until you felt the heat radiating off of him. For the first time, fear flickered in your chest at the sight of him.

“It was Helion and Tarquin,” you squeaked out, the words hardly audible. “The night at the club.”

His expression shifted from anger to something more profound—betrayal and dismay. “That’s why you weren’t wearing any underwear?” Each syllable was sharp and cutting like glass. “What the fuck, (y/n)?”

Your stomach dropped as his words sank in, and you fought against the rising tide of shame. “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” you protested weakly, but it felt like a feeble excuse.

“Didn’t mean for it to happen?” he echoed, his voice laced with incredulity. “You think that makes it any better? You think it changes what you did?” He shook his head, pacing away for a moment, processing the confession. “You let them use you. You let them take you, and then came to me like nothing happened!”

Cassian stopped abruptly, his fists clenching at his sides. “What was I to you? A way to check off the names on your list?”

Your breath hitched, the pain in his voice slicing through you. “No! Cassian, you were–”

“Then why the hell did you choose them?” he cut you off, moving toward you once more, and you stepped back at the hostility blazing in his eyes. “Why didn’t you come to me? You had me right there, ready to fuck you however you wanted, however you needed, and instead, you went to them!”

Your voice wavered as you responded. “I didn’t know what I wanted…”

“Clearly,” he spat, his tone bitter and full of hurt. 

Your pulse quickened, and a sudden thought surged through your mind, breaking through the haze of anger and regret. “What about Elain?” you blurted out, your voice shaking. 

Cassian’s expression shifted, surprise flashing across his face before his anger returned in full force. “What about her?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” you shot back, feeling a surge of defiance. “You think I didn’t know before tonight? You think you made some big reveal? She can’t keep her big fat fucking whore mouth shut!” You crossed your arms defensively when his only reply was, ‘Pot. Kettle. Black.’

“I heard her eavesdropping on my phone call with Nesta about you. So why her, huh? Why did it have to be her?”

Cassian paused, his jaw tightening as if he was weighing his words. “I fucked Elain because I needed to feel something after you broke my heart,” he admitted, voice rough, like gravel grinding underfoot. “She was there, willing, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t want to feel that empty. I didn’t want to think about you.”

You felt the words hit you like a slap. “So you just used her? Like I did with them?” The bitterness in your voice tasted like acid. 

“It wasn’t the same, and you know it!” he barked, the tension thickening the air between you. “I was lost. You broke me, and Elain was… she was just–”

“Just what? A distraction?” You pressed, desperate to keep the conversation moving, feeling the adrenaline coursing through you once again. “Do you love her? Does she mean anything to you?”

“No!” Cassian shouted, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t love her! How delusional are you? I was fucking angry! You have no idea how much I wanted to hate you, and I thought that maybe if I let someone else in, it would hurt less. But nothing worked. I still wanted you.”

The confession hung in the air, a fragile thread between you, binding you together in the chaos. You felt your heart twist at the realization that he was still clinging to the remnants of what you once had. 

“You still want me?” you whispered, disbelief mingling with hope. “After everything?”

“Of course I did!” he replied, his voice rising again, but the anger was mixed with desperation now. “You were the one I loved, (y/n). You always were!”

But as that dreaded past tense slipped from his lips, your flicker of hope was snuffed out. The weight of ‘loved’ and ‘were’ crushed you, drowning out everything else he said. 

“But it only made me miss you more,” you heard him finish. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” You stepped closer. “Why didn’t you come to me instead of running to Elain?”

“Because you made your choice!” he yelled, his voice trembling with heartache, stepping back as the full weight of those words hit him for the first time. “You decided to sleep with half our fucking friends, and I was left picking up the pieces.”

His shoulders slumped, and you could see it—the exhaustion behind his eyes, the sadness beneath all the rage. He wasn’t just furious; he was broken. Cassian’s chest rose and fell with labored breaths as everything that had transpired seemed to crash down on both of you at once. The fight was slipping from his voice, replaced by something far more agonizing.

“I never wanted this,” he whispered, eyes brimming with the grief of everything that had been lost. His voice trembled, softer now. “I didn’t want any of this. I thought we were perfect, I thought we–” He paused, the words choking him as he forced them out. “I was going to propose to you, my God…”

The confession knocked the air out of you. It felt like the ground had been violently ripped from beneath your feet. “You…what?” you breathed, eyes wide, tears streaming freely down your face.

“I had the ring,” he continued, the bitterness in his voice turning to sorrow, his hands trembled uncontrollably, and he shoved them into his pockets to steady himself. “I’d been carrying it with me for weeks. I was waiting for the right moment, the perfect time to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. And then–” He let out a hollow laugh.

The anguish in his voice shattered something deep within you. He was going to propose. You could barely breathe under the weight of that realization, now knowing just how much you had ruined. “Cassian… I didn’t know… If I’d known, if I had even the slightest idea, maybe…” You took a shaky breath, your heart splintering further with every word. “I wasn’t thinking. I don’t deserve you, I never have.”

Cassian looked at you, his brows furrowing. “But you didn’t have to–” he began, but you cut him off, the weight of your guilt too much to hold back.

“I know! I know I ruined everything. I betrayed you, and I betrayed us. And I’ve spent every day since wishing I could take it back–”

“But you can’t, can you?” he muttered, dragging a hand down his face. “You can’t take back what you did with them. You can’t undo how much you destroyed me.” 

“And I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.” More tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you blinked them back. “But Cassian, I… I never stopped–”

“Don’t say it,” he interrupted, shaking his head, his jaw tightening as if he couldn’t bear to hear the words. “Don’t you fucking dare say you still love me.”

The silence that followed was deafening, thick with the unsaid words that hung between you like a blade poised to strike. 

“I don’t know how to stop,” you whispered after a beat, your voice raw and fragile. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Cassian. Even when I hurt you, even when I–”

“Do you even know,” he exhaled sharply, “what it feels like to be torn apart by the one person you thought would never hurt you?”

“I never meant to,” you breathed, but it was too little, too late. 

Cassian’s gaze locked onto you, his eyes dark with unshed tears. “It doesn’t matter what you meant. It’s what you did.”

The ache in your chest became unbearable, each breath a painful reminder of how much you’d ruined. And just as you opened your mouth to speak, he cut you off, voice breaking.

“I lost everything the moment I lost you.”

It left you speechless, the silence that followed let the full gravity of what you’d done come crashing down over you like a wave. And in that suffocating silence, you felt the final thread between you snap.

Cassian closed his eyes, a single tear slipping down his cheek. He let out a breath like he was carrying the world’s weight on his shoulders. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said quietly, the hopelessness in his voice cutting deeper than any of his ire. “You can’t fix this. We can’t fix this. It’s gone.”

You reached out, your hand hovering just inches from him, desperate for one last chance, one last remnant of that thread to pull you both back from the edge. But your fingers fell back, useless. 

Cassian stood there for a moment, the silence between you louder than any of the shouting. He took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging. Then without a word, he turned around. The movement was slow like he had to force himself to walk away. You watched as he grabbed his keys and wallet from the table near the door.

Panic bloomed in your chest. You weren’t ready for this to end, not like this. You stepped forward, your voice shaking as you called after him, “Cassian… Are you going to her?”

He froze, his hand already on the doorknob. The question hung in the air. For a moment, it seemed like he might not answer at all. Then, slowly, he turned his head just enough to meet your gaze from over his shoulder.

“Elain?” His voice cracked slightly, as if answering you pained him. He swallowed hard, hesitating for a beat that felt like an eternity. “No… No, I’m not going to Elain.”

Relief washed over you, but it was fleeting. The look on his face, the sadness that lingered in his eyes, shattered your heart all over again. But then, just as your lips parted to speak, to say something, he spoke again, his voice colder now, each word cutting deeper than the last.

“Why does it matter? Go run back to Eris—or, hell, any of them for that matter. See where that gets you.”

His words slammed into you like a physical blow, knocking the air from your lungs. You didn’t have the strength to respond, your mind reeling from the venom in his tone. 

Cassian turned away again, pulling the door open. He stepped through it, pausing only to glance back at you one final time, his expression unreadable. He didn’t slam the door—didn’t give you the satisfaction of one last angry outburst. Instead, he closed it gently, the soft click of the lock echoing through the now painfully silent apartment. You heard his footsteps recede through the door.

And then… he was gone.

For a long moment, you just stood there, staring at the door as if somehow willing him to come back would work. But it all settled in—the empty space where he used to be, the cold, hollow ache in your chest that threatened to swallow you whole.

Your legs gave out beneath you, and you crumpled to the floor, your sobs coming in broken, ragged gasps as you finally let go. Alone in the wreckage of what was once your life together, you wept quietly, broken and lost.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Taglist <3

@blessthepizzaman @book-obsessed124 @celear @girl-math-aint-mathing @halo-hanging

@julesvanslutta @lilah-asteria @meeperthejeeper @mellowmusings @paleidiot

@secretlyhers @starlightazriel @scarsandallaz @uncxmfxrtablex @xxemmarldxx

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

and one huge mega thank you to miss @halo-hanging for being the best beta reader ever i love you mwah mwah MWAH <3

[poppy-metal]

i just saw your ask w angelplummie with daughters bsf art and respectfully i must ask your thoughts on dad’s bsf patrick

hhh gonna kill myself because imagine being arts daughter,,,,, growing up with patrick in your life hes like the fun uncle in your memories, dunking you in the pool, taking you on a ride in his truck, giving you noogies - it isn't long though before your thoughts aren't innocent anymore and he's not an uncle at all to you - he's a man. and you've watched him grow too, art being a teen dad - you remember him when he had no scruff on his chin - you watched him fill out - become more rugged, lose the boyish quality of his 20s and become the man you know today. hes still the same person at his core, impulsive, your fathers polar opposite in every way - fire to his ice.

your relationship shifts when you enter high-school. if only because you experience your first rebel streak. art is a good dad, but hes nervous and tight laced. the thought of you seeing boys or drinking and staying up late getting rowdy,,,,, it'd send him into cardiac arrest.

but you know patrick gets it. he was like you when he was your age, a free spirit. he still was, because thats not something that dies. and maybe that's how you develop feelings for him beyond that of a family friend. when you see a kinship there. a shared soul. you're soulmates, you're sure of it. meant to be. cut from the same cloth.

it happens in tenth grade. its not your first party but its the first time you get reckless. drink too much. things stop being as fun when boys grab at your hips and leer at you, and you feel sick. you want to go home but you know you cant call your dad. it'd break his heart to see you like this. the lecture alone would make pound against your head. you dont want to deal.

so you call patrick zweig. in your phone as 'Ricky 💗' only you were allowed to call him that. special. soulmates. he'll get it. hes been here, you're sure of it. and he wont tell. countless times he was drunk and lied to his parents about it, you bet.

you call him. he comes.

and you were right about the not telling but what you dont expect his quiet anger. you can feel it in the stillness of the car. when he pulls up to pick you up and his jaw is tight and hes tapping on the steering wheel. you think if you were more sober you'd care more about pissing him off. all you can think about is how pretty he looks in the moonlight.

"thank youuuu." you slur to him when you tumble in.

patrick flicks a look at you you're too drunk to decipher - he was smoking with his elbow propped outside the window while he waited for you. he flicks the ash out the window and turns the ignition on. "put your seatbelt on."

woah. thats gonna be a new fantasy, you think. that authoritative tone. you fumble with the belt, but your fingers look fuzzy and keep missing the hole. "no clicky." you complain.

patrick huffs and then he's leaning over his center console - his arm reaching over your body. it happens in slow motion in your head. you look down at his arm stretched out across your waist, notice the veins in his arms, the dusting of hair. thicker than when he was younger. filled out. your lips part.

he tugs the seatbelt from your fingers and clicks it into place. tugs the belt securely over your chest and his knuckles brush over your chest for the briefest moment. you inhale. exhale.

he pulls back. starts to pull out of the driveway. you say, "thank you." a full minute later, your voice small and soft.

he doesn't look your way. thats okay. you can watch his hands on the steering wheel all you want this way. the smooth glide of his palm over the wheel when he makes a turn. the idle rub of his thumb over it when hes going steady.

"how wasted are you?" he asks eventually.

you take a moment to think. try to count the alphabet backwards... yeah, no.

"pretty wstd..." you mumble. then you giggle. "wasted." you sound out the word.

patrick breathes deeply like he's purposely staying calm. "jesus." he looks at you again, a quick up and down assessment. "art cant see you like this. he'll lose his shit."

"he'll..." you hiccup. "he'll ground me foreverrrrrrr."

"your ass should be grounded." patrick snaps. "i mean, what the hell?" he says your name all disappointed and it shouldn't make you feel things but it does.

"you were doin worse at my age." you tell him.

at this, he finally laughs. more of a chuckle. a huff of amusement. his lips twist wryly. "kid, what i was doing at your age would make -" he pauses, thinks better of whatever he was about to say. "- lets just say nobody should be doing what I was doing at that age." he looks at you, "fucking especially not you."

your lips purse. "maybe i wanna be like you."

he shakes his head. "no, hun - you dont. trust me -" he grins but there's a kind of.... morose? tone to his voice. wistful almost. "you don't wanna be like me."

you frown, lips tugging down. you twist in your seat as much as your seatbelt will allow. his side profile really is something. you see hair at the nape of his neck is slightly damp - curling at the ends. he must have been taking a shower when you called - or quickly took one before he came to get you -

"i think i already am like you." you tell him honestly. the alcohol loosens your tongue. makes you more bold than you would be normally. "like, right here." you thump a hand against your chest. "on the inside." your teeth dig into your bottom lip. "i feel it. that.... thing we have."

"its called stupidity."

you shake your head. hard enough to make your brain feel knocked around.

"no, dont... dont diminish it. its not that - its like. you wanna be free - like... you were born a wolf but raised as a sheep. and you just wanna get out - run into the forest and be wild. you have that. i can see it. you try to push it down, but i see it. i see you, ricky. and i think you're cool as fuck. dont let -" you swallow. "- dont let anyone make you feel.... like you have to - have to - conform. i like who you are."

its quiet after that. patrick doesn't say anything. you watch your words run through him. see his adams apple bob. his lips work from one side to the other. hes chewing on it, you think. on what you said.

eventually he looks at you. his eyes are dark from it being night outside, but you can still see their green. his fingers tighten around the steering wheel.

"you're drunk as fuck."

but he says it like his voice is ran through gravel. rough and soft. you think what he really means is, thank you. i see you too.

you fall back against your seat and nod. you're getting sleepy.

"yeah." you agree. "i am that."

you hear him sigh. "I'll take you back to mine - tell your dad you got caught in a storm and couldn't make it all the way to his." his voice does that authoritative thing again, "but dont make this a habit, im too old for this shit."

"what're you gonna do? spank me if i misbehave again?"

he says your name in warning. once. clipped and short. so serious.

"I'll try." you tell him. "but no promises."

"you're gonna give me gray hairs."

"tuck me in when we get to yours?"

"dont fucking push it."

[reaper2187]

Leighton murray x reader

In the hallowed halls of Essex College, a tale unfolds between two vibrant souls: Leighton Murray, the enigmatic and alluring senior, and you, the newly arrived freshman with a heart brimming with both trepidation and anticipation.

As you the campus, your senses are assailed by the vibrant tapestry of college life. Laughter echoes through the dormitories, mingling with the faint scent of coffee and the hum of laptops. It is amidst this vibrant atmosphere that you first encounter Leighton.

Tall and striking, with blonde hair that cascades over her shoulders, Leighton exudes an air of mystery. Her captivating blue eyes hold a tantalizing promise, a hint of untold experiences that pique your curiosity. An older student, she moves with an assured confidence that you find both intoxicating and intimidating.

As fate would have it, your paths cross again and again. In the crowded hallways of the library, you steal furtive glances at her as she pores over textbooks, her lips parted slightly in concentration. At a raucous party, you find yourself drawn to her laughter, a melody that cuts through the din like a silver bell.

One evening, as you sit alone in the common room, lost in a book, Leighton approaches you. With a warm smile, she breaks the ice and introduces herself. As you talk, you discover that beneath her enigmatic exterior lies a complex and intelligent woman. You are captivated by her insights, her quick wit, and the way her eyes seem to sparkle with a mischievous glint.

As the hours turn into a languid summer night, you find yourself drawn to Leighton's alluring charm. Your fingers brush against hers as you reach for a shared book, and electricity courses through your body. In that moment, you know that something profound has sparked between you.

In the weeks that follow, you and Leighton spend countless hours together. You explore the hidden nooks of the campus, from the  library to the  gardens. The bond between you grows stronger with each passing day, as you learn the intricacies of each other's desires and secrets.

Leighton's embrace is warm and inviting, her touch like a feather on your skin. Her kisses ignite a fire within you that consumes all inhibition. As you lie entangled in her arms, you feel a sense of liberation and fulfillment like never before.

However, the world outside of your private paradise threatens to tear you apart. Society's judgment looms over you like a dark cloud, whispering that your love is forbidden. But you refuse to be silenced.

Together, you navigate the choppy waters of college life, facing both adversity and triumphs with unwavering determination. You become each other's strength, a beacon of hope in a world that often tries to extinguish your flames.

In the tapestry of your life, Leighton Murray becomes more than just a lover. She is your confidant, your ally, and the catalyst for a profound transformation within yourself. As you graduate from Essex College, you carry with you the memories of your passionate love, a testament to the enduring power of human connection.

And so, as the pages of your life turn and you venture into the wider world, a piece of Leighton will always linger in your heart, a bittersweet reminder of a love that burned bright against the backdrop of youth and collegiate freedom.

[dailyreverie]

Keep me warm

@flufftober - Day 12 Fire & ice

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 861

CW: Angst due to mentions of Bucky's past

Flufftober masterlist

If there was anything that you hated, was the thought of Bucky facing the cold. You knew how he played it off every time, always saying you are overreacting, but you knew him too well to know that his bones ached when the air got cold and that the chilly air against his face triggered memories he so desperately had tried to bury.

His mission had run longer than expected, he was supposed to be back hours ago and the temperature was dropping quickly, his phone was probably dead since he hadn’t made contact with you and you could only hope he was already on his way back - he had to be. Still, his unknown whereabouts were making you bite your nails as your gaze flickered from the TV to the door as your patience began to get thinner with every passing minute.

When the door unlocked and you got so much of a peak of his boots, you ran to him and dragged him inside, pulling him in a tight embrace where you felt the tension that had frozen his shoulders begin to disappear. “Hello to you too.” Bucky chuckled, watching you remove his gloves. His skin felt like ice, like the frost of a glass right before the liquid turned solid, like pressing your hands against a window when its cold outside.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Bucky said when you remained silent.

“That you are cold, that’s what I’m thinking.” You stayed firm, because you knew the minute you wavered around him, he would dismiss his own well-being. With his hand in yours you dragged him to the couch, maybe you didn’t have a fireplace but the nearby candles would have to work to warm him up.

“I’m oka-”

“Don’t say you are okay, I can feel you shaking.” You warned, looking into his eyes again. That’s when Bucky saw the concern. As you dragged candles close to his hands and rubbed his flesh hand in between yours, Bucky studied your caring moves that tried to bring some warmth back to him.

“Doll,” Bucky searched for your eyes, tipping his head to find them as they were busy looking at your hands. He called your name, and when you dropped his hands softly on the couch and averted your gaze to the side, he knew there was more to it. “Talk to me, please.” He urged.

“It’s ridiculous.” Your voice cracked.

“It’s not ridiculous if you are concerned about it.” He didn’t want to push you, but seeing you in such distress was making his stomach turn with worry.

“I just- I hate the idea of you being cold.” You confessed, your fingers fidgeting with each other as you did. “You were cold for a while.” Your voice was softer, not knowing Bucky’s reaction to your confession.

“I was cold for a while, baby. But not anymore, I promise.” His thumb tilted your chin up, the sadness in your eyes unexpectedly making him smile in pure adoration to you.

“I’ve seen you shaking at night when it gets cold, and the way your shoulder hurts too.” You tried pushing him away, suddenly feeling self-aware of the situation you had dragged yourself to. 

“Oh, doll.” Bucky whispered, his heart filling with warmth when he saw where your anguish was coming from.

“I told you it was ridiculous.”

“Look at me,” You did as he said, reluctantly so. When you met his eyes you couldn’t stop your hands from cupping his face; your touch felt like fire, not the kind that burns you, but the kind that warms the wood on a fireplace and keeps a home cozy, the kind that ignites a fire inside Bucky every time he realizes time and time again how much you love him.

Turning his head sideways he kissed the palm of your hand, not breaking eye contact with you. “It’s true that I hate the cold, I’ve always hated it, but what you are saying is far from ridiculous.” 

He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin, and the affection in his eyes never left. He lingered like that for a second, holding the space between you for a couple of seconds. “No one had cared for me the way you do, baby. You keep me warm, and every day you help me feel a little bit less cold than the last.” 

You felt your heart swell with love for the man before you. The candles flickered, casting warm, dancing shadows against his soft skin and around the room that now smelled like cinnamon and sugar.

He pressed his lips to yours, your fingertips traveling around his neck to keep him there, close to you with a kiss filled with gratitude and love; as your lips met his, you realized that this warmth, this love, was all you needed to banish the cold that had haunted Bucky for so long. You got lost in the kiss as it proved to make you both warm, Bucky taking no time to pull you under him to deepen the kiss, his hands exploring your body seeking the heat of your skin next to his. 

🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂🦾🍂

Thanks for reading! Please reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!

[horzagobuchul]

The next step in the Yor story~

A few more months had passed, and Yor's visits to the little cake shop had become a daily ritual that the entire town noticed. Her once athletic and muscular physique was now a distant memory. With each indulgent slice, she had grown larger, reaching a point where movement was a significant effort. It was obvious to everyone that she was now morbidly obese, her BMI soaring to levels that made even the plus-size clothing stores struggle to accommodate her.

As she waddled down the street toward the cake shop, her pace was slow and labored. Each step required effort; her muscles strained under the weight they were not accustomed to bearing. Her breathing was heavy, and her heart pounded with the exertion. The fabric of her dress, the largest size available, clung tightly to her body and persistently rode up, forcing her to pause frequently to adjust it and prevent unwanted exposure. Her bulky belly rested heavily against her thighs, and when she sat, it settled lazily onto her lap, a constant reminder of how much she'd changed.

The townspeople had started to whisper, referring to her as "the lady who eats cake by herself in the park." Children giggled as she passed by, and adults exchanged knowing glances. The gossip didn't escape her notice, adding a layer of embarrassment to her already complex emotions. Yet, despite the social stigma and the challenges her size presented, there was a part of her that felt a sense of accomplishment. She had, in a way, achieved a goal—even if it was one she hadn't set consciously.

Entering the cake shop, the bell above the door chimed softly. The shopkeeper looked up, a flicker of surprise crossing his face before he composed himself with a polite smile. "Good afternoon, Yor," he greeted her.

"Good afternoon," she replied, her voice tinged with both shyness and anticipation. "I'd like to purchase that large birthday cake, please."

He hesitated for a moment. "Is it a special occasion?"

She shook her head lightly, causing a subtle ripple through her body. "No, just… felt like treating myself."

"Of course," he said, carefully boxing up the cake. As he handed it over, she noticed the slight strain in his arms from the weight of the sizable confection.

Leaving the shop, Yor made her way to the familiar bench in the park. The short journey left her winded; her breathing was labored, and a sheen of perspiration dotted her forehead. Sitting down with a relieved sigh, she felt the bench accommodate her weight, the wooden slats creaking softly beneath her. Her body visibly relaxed, the strain of standing alleviated.

Opening the cake box, she gazed at the intricate decorations—the swirls of frosting, the delicate icing flowers. A rush of endorphins flooded her system as she took the first bite. The rich, sweet flavors ignited her senses, providing a momentary escape from the complexities of her reality. Each mouthful brought both comfort and a fleeting sense of joy, the physical act of eating intertwining with a deeper emotional satisfaction.

Despite consuming the entire cake, she didn't feel uncomfortably full—a consequence of months spent overeating. Her appetite had expanded along with her body, and satiety was a feeling she rarely experienced fully. As she finished the last slice, a mixture of contentment and guilt settled over her. She was acutely aware of how far she'd let herself go, yet there was a peculiar solace in having surrendered to her desires.

Is this truly what I wanted? she pondered, gazing at the empty box. The thought of needing assistance for daily tasks loomed on the horizon. Her mobility was already severely limited; simple actions required significant effort, and she knew that if this continued, she might soon be unable to care for herself independently.

As Yor attempted to stand from the bench, she felt an overwhelming heaviness anchoring her in place. It took considerable effort to lift herself, her muscles straining and her breath growing shallow. Finally on her feet, she paused to steady herself, aware that even this simple act had become a significant challenge. Her body, once a finely tuned instrument of agility and strength, was now burdened beyond its limits.

Walking slowly toward Anya's school, each step was a deliberate effort. Her thighs rubbed together continuously, and her now-prominent belly swayed with every movement. The whispers and stares from passersby were impossible to ignore. Children pointed, and adults exchanged glances, the town gossip echoing in her mind: "There goes the lady who eats cake by herself in the park."

A profound realization settled over Yor. I've crossed a line I can't uncross, she thought. I'll never be thin again. The acknowledgment was a mixture of resignation and a strange sense of relief. She had been wrestling with her desires for so long, the constant push and pull between restraint and indulgence. Now, the struggle seemed to dissipate, leaving behind a quiet acceptance of her new reality.

She knew that her life would be different now. Everyday tasks had become arduous; even the plus-size stores were struggling to accommodate her needs. The prospect of needing assistance for simple activities loomed on the horizon. Yet, amid the embarrassment and the social stigma, there was a certain solace in letting go. She had surrendered to her desires, and in doing so, found a twisted sense of accomplishment.

Reaching the school gates, Yor saw Anya running toward her with open arms. "Mama!" Anya exclaimed, hugging her as tightly as she could. Yor felt the softness of her own body enveloping her daughter, a tangible sign of how much she'd changed.

"You're so cozy," Anya giggled, her eyes full of innocent joy.

Yor managed a genuine smile. "I'm glad you think so, Anya."

As they walked home at a leisurely pace, Anya chattered about her day, unaware of her mother's inner turmoil. Yor listened, but her thoughts drifted. She understood that she had become a slave to her desires, her life now dictated by the very impulses she once tried to control. The realization was both humbling and daunting.

That evening, settling into her chair required careful maneuvering. The furniture creaked under her weight, and once seated, she felt an immense relief. Looking across the table, she met Loid's gaze. His eyes revealed little—no judgment, no pity, just a neutral acknowledgment. Whether his silence was out of respect or indifference, she couldn't tell. But she knew now that seeking his approval was secondary to facing herself.

As dinner progressed, Yor felt a mixture of emotions: regret for the path she'd taken, but also a resigned acceptance of where she was. She had crossed a boundary from which there was no easy return. The possibility of reclaiming her former self seemed distant, if not impossible. And perhaps that was okay.

[03jyh23]

— capturing us || choi san

every moment captured with you is a masterpiece painted with love, each frame a testament to the beauty of our journey together

vlogger!san x reader

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none!

words: 1.6 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

minors do not interact

— hi there! thank you @monstaxdirtywonk for requesting this prompt, i hope you will like it! in my country spring has finally arrived, and since it's my favorite season i can't help but write about it.

love, monika. ♡

Spring was your favorite season. The vibrant blossoms, the lush greenery enveloping you, and the gentle caress of sunshine on your skin filled you with boundless joy. With the first sip of your beloved iced coffee, the perfection of spring seemed complete. Yet, amidst all this beauty, there was one presence that outshone even the splendor of the season - Choi San, the one you cherished above all else. Spring always brought a sense of renewal and joy, but nothing compared to the warmth that San brought into your life. With him, every moment felt like the perfect blend of sunshine, laughter, and love. As you sipped on your favorite iced coffee, you couldn't help but smile, knowing that spring was made even more beautiful with him by your side. 

Describing San as merely handsome felt like a gross understatement; he embodied all that was good and beautiful in this world. When his smile lit up his face and reached the depths of his eyes, it was as if the entire universe aligned just to witness that moment. He was the epitome of perfection, your favorite sight in the whole world full of wonders. In San's embrace, every doubt melted away, for his love was a constant beacon of warmth and reassurance. Never did you question his love, for his actions spoke volumes, always placing your comfort and happiness above all else. With him, there was never a moment of feeling unloved or unseen, as he showered you with care and attention in ways both big and small. His selflessness knew no bounds. In his arms, you found solace and security, knowing that you were cherished beyond measure. 

In the park, surrounded by the vibrant energy of spring, even the people passing by seemed to carry an extra bounce in their step, their smiles mirroring the blossoming flowers around them. As you waited for San to wrap up his recording for his latest vlog, you couldn't help but feel a swell of pride witnessing his passion for filming flourish. From humble beginnings to now, with a growing community of subscribers, his dedication was inspiring. This year marked the third chapter of your relationship, as you watched him work, you marveled at how far you had come together, cherishing every milestone and triumph along the way.  

Returning from the depths of your thoughts, you were greeted by the familiar click of a camera. Following the sound, your eyes lit up as you saw San, your heart swelling with affection as you realized he was the one behind the lens. His mischievous grin mirrored your own bright smile, with him by your side, every instant was a precious memory.  

"I like seeing you smile." San's words danced in the air, wrapping around you. His tender affirmation ignited an even brighter smile on your lips, your heart fluttering with joy at his sweet sentiment. ''So beautiful...’’ As he swiftly pressed the camera button, freezing the moment in time, his whispered declaration washed over you, filling you with a sense of pure adoration. In his eyes, you saw reflected the depth of his affection, a love that made every moment infinitely beautiful. 

"Well, hello to you too," you greeted playfully, rising from the bench. San's response was immediate, his arms enveloping you in a gentle embrace as if he couldn't bear to be apart from you for another moment. 

"Hi, my love," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine affection. "I couldn’t wait to kiss you." As San leaned in to press a gentle, feather-like kiss against your lips, a wave of tenderness washed over you. In the early days of your relationship, there were whispers of "puppy love" and the expectation that it would eventually fade after the first year. Mentally preparing yourself for this supposed shift, you braced for changes that never came. But as time passed, you realized that your love defied such constraints. With each passing day, your connection only grew stronger, deepening into something far beyond the fleeting infatuation of puppy love. Your relationship was anchored in mutual respect, understanding, and unwavering support, traits that only strengthened as you journeyed through life together. 

"How did the recording go?" You asked, intertwining your fingers with San's as you began to stroll down your favorite path in the park. With each step, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in your own little bubble of happiness. San smiled warmly, his gaze softening as he recounted the day's events.  

"It went really well," he replied, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "I lost to Yunho about three times, but it’s fine. He was always a better gamer than me." You chuckled, imagining their friendly competition.  

"Well, at least you gave it your best shot," you said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Besides, it's all in good fun, right?" San nodded a playful glint in his eyes.  

"Exactly! Plus, I'll just have to practice more for our next gaming session." Yunho and San's friendship traced back to their teenage years, they bonded over shared interests and endless hours of gaming together. Initially, they started their YouTube journey with a joint channel, where they showcased their gaming prowess and took on various challenges. However, as time passed, San's creative aspirations blossomed, and he yearned to explore more artistic avenues through his vlogs. Recognizing this, they made the mutual decision to branch out and create separate channels, each tailored to their individual passions. Yunho's channel became a haven for gaming enthusiasts, where he could delve deep into his love for video games and connect with like-minded viewers. Meanwhile, San's channel emerged as a platform for his artistic expression, showcasing his unique perspective through visually captivating videos and thought-provoking content. 

"I’ve been working on the vlog from our trip to Rome " San shifted the conversation, his tone filled with excitement. "And my favourite shots are with you... " The truth was, fame held a certain fear for you, and the thought of being recognizable sent unpleasant shivers down your spine. It wasn't that you didn't support San's endeavors or take pride in his accomplishments; rather, the idea of stepping into the spotlight yourself felt daunting. San, ever understanding and considerate of your feelings, made a conscious effort to respect your privacy. He never mentioned you in any of his content, carefully safeguarding your relationship from the prying eyes of fame. Three years had passed, and San's desire to share your love with the world had only grown stronger. Despite accumulating a treasure trove of videos featuring you two together, he had refrained from posting them out of respect for your privacy. Yet, deep down, he had a silent hope that one day, he could introduce you to his audience, showcasing the beauty of your love. The thought of sharing your journey with others filled him with excitement and anticipation, a dream he held dear to his heart. 

"San..." you sighed softly, feeling a mix of apprehension and affection at his words. 

"I know, baby," he murmured, his voice filled with understanding. "I know you’re scared, but it’s just... I really want to show you off in my art." In these words, a gentle plea echoed. While the thought of being exposed to the world still made you nervous, you couldn't deny the sincerity and love in his words. San didn't see you as a mere subject for his videos; he viewed you as a muse, an integral part of his creative expression. "You know I won’t let anyone hurt you"  

"I know," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with gratitude for his unwavering protection. "I trust you completely." With his reassurance echoing in your mind, you took a deep breath and met his gaze, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in his presence. In his eyes, you found a place where fear dissolved into the warmth of his love. 

"Okay, San," you whispered softly, "Let's do it." San's sweet laugh filled the air, in one swift motion, he enveloped you in his arms and lifted you off the ground, spinning you around in a whirlwind of happiness. 

"I can't believe you finally agreed!" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with delight. Caught up in the moment, you couldn't help but laugh along with him, feeling a surge of exhilaration and contentment coursing through your veins. In his embrace, you found courage and reassurance. "I love you so much," San whispered tenderly, his voice carrying the weight of his affection as he gently set you back down on the ground. With a gentle touch, he lifted your chin, drawing you in for a sweet and lingering kiss. After pulling out of the kiss, San wasted no time and immediately started recording. Surprised and a bit flustered, you couldn't help but laugh at his spontaneity.  

"What are you doing?" You chuckled, trying to compose yourself as he aimed the camera at both of you. 

"I'm not letting this moment slip away," he replied with a grin, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Hi, everyone," he addressed the camera, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "I couldn't wait any longer to introduce you to someone very special to me." And as he spoke those words, a mixture of emotions swirled within you— anticipation, nerves, but above all, a deep sense of love and appreciation for the man standing before you. With San by your side, you felt ready to embrace whatever the future held, knowing that your love would guide you through every adventure, on and off camera. 

[whereforarthur]

Wedding Night Bliss~

Request: i’m begging for a fluffy smut of what happens after during the wedding night

Pairing: George Clarke x Reader

Summary: Part 2 to Wedding Day Bliss, George and y/n's first time as husband and wife

Category: Smut

Word Count: 2.7k

*****

“Frozen in time, captured in memories, filled in passion, she melted in love before his eyes.” ― Luffina Lourduraj

In the candle lit living room, a bottle of champagne awaited them on the coffee table, chilling in an ice bucket. The soft hum of classical music filled the air, setting the stage for a night of passion and love. Y/N felt her heart race as George set her down, his eyes smoldering with desire. He popped the cork with a flourish, the sound echoing through the house like a declaration of their union. The bubbly liquid flowed into two flutes, the golden liquid fizzing with anticipation.

They toasted to a lifetime of happiness, their glasses clinking together in a silent promise. As they sipped, George's hand found its way to the small of Y/N's back, pulling her closer. His thumb traced lazy circles on her bare skin, sending shivers down her spine. The warmth of his touch was like a brand, searing into her very soul. She leaned into him, feeling the strength of his body against hers, the steady beat of his heart syncing with her own.

Their kiss was slow and deliberate, a dance of exploration and reassurance. The sweetness of the champagne mingled with the taste of each other, a heady concoction that left them both breathless. Y/N felt herself melting into George, the outside world fading away until all that remained was the here and now, their bodies entwined.

With gentle urgency, George led her upstairs, the plush carpet beneath their feet muffling their footsteps. The master bedroom was a sanctuary of soft white linens and plush pillows, the scent of lavender subtly permeating the air. The large bay window offered a breathtaking view of the London skyline, the city lights twinkling like stars in the distance.

He undressed her with the reverence of an artist unveiling a masterpiece, his eyes drinking in every inch of her body. Y/N watched him in the dim light, her heart racing as she saw the desire reflected in his gaze. When she was bare before him, he took a step back, his own shirt and trousers following suit, revealing his toned physique. Their eyes locked once more, and she knew without a doubt that this was where she belonged, in the arms of this man who cherished her so deeply.

Their bodies met in a tangle of limbs and whispered promises, their kisses growing more feverish with each passing moment. His hands roamed her curves with a hunger that was both thrilling and overwhelming, each touch igniting a new spark of passion within her. Y/N's fingers found the buttons of his shirt, eager to explore the warmth of his skin beneath. With a growl of approval, George helped her, his own hands trembling slightly with excitement.

The fabric fell away, exposing his muscular chest, the faint dusting of hair leading down to the waistband of his trousers. Y/N's eyes traced the contours of his body, her desire for him reaching a crescendo. He cupped her face, pulling her back to him for another kiss, deeper and more demanding than the last. His tongue danced with hers, the heat between them threatening to set the room ablaze.

"I want you so badly," George murmured, his voice thick with need. "You're mine now, Mrs. Clarke."

"Yours, Mr. Clarke," Y/N whispered back, her eyes smoldering with desire. She reached up to kiss him again, her hand sliding down to grip his firm waist.

George's hands moved to her hips, his grip firm as he lifted her onto the bed. The softness of the mattress gave way beneath her, and she felt the heat of his body as he joined her, his weight pressing her into the pillows. His kisses grew more insistent, his teeth grazing her lower lip before he moved to pepper kisses along her neck, eliciting gasps of pleasure.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. His hands explored her body with confidence, his thumbs brushing over her nipples until they peaked in response. Y/N arched her back, a soft moan escaping her lips as he claimed one with his mouth, his tongue teasing the sensitive bud before moving to the other.

Her hands found their way to his hair, gripping tightly as he kissed a trail down her stomach, his teeth grazing her hipbone. "Tell me what you want," he demanded, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down her spine.

"I want all of you," she panted, her voice laced with need. "Every inch."

George's eyes darkened, a smoldering fire of desire. He positioned himself between her thighs, his arousal pressing against her core. "And you shall have it," he promised, his voice a seductive rumble. "But first, let me taste you."

With a wicked smile, he dipped his head, his tongue tracing a wet line up her inner thigh, making her squirm with anticipation. He took his time, savoring every inch of her soft skin, driving her wild with need. When he finally reached her center, she was already slick with arousal, and his groan of appreciation sent a jolt of pleasure through her.

"You're so wet for me," he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. "I can't wait to be inside you." His mouth closed over her, his tongue swirling and flicking, delving deep into her folds. Y/N's hips bucked upwards, a keening cry escaping her lips. His talented tongue danced with her clit, the pressure building with every stroke.

"Oh, God, George," she moaned, her nails digging into the bed sheets. He chuckled against her, the vibration sending her spiraling closer to the edge. "You're going to come for me, aren't you?" His voice was rough with desire, his own need clear in every syllable.

"Yes," she gasped, her voice trembling. "I'm going to come for you." And she did, her body arching off the bed as waves of pleasure crashed over her. She could feel her walls clench around his tongue, her orgasm a symphony of sensation that left her boneless and panting.

George didn't stop, though, instead using the moment to slip two fingers inside her, curling them in a way that made her eyes roll back in her head. "You're so tight," he murmured, his voice thick with lust. "So perfect."

Y/N's breath came in ragged gasps as he worked her, her second orgasm building swiftly. "I need you," she panted, reaching for him. "Inside me, now."

He obliged, kissing his way back up her body, his cock poised at her entrance. "Tell me again," he whispered, his voice a hot breath against her ear. "Tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours," she whimpered, her body begging for more. "Always."

With one swift, powerful thrust, George claimed her, filling her completely. They both groaned, their bodies fitting together like two halves of a whole. He paused for a moment, savoring the feeling of her tightness around him, before beginning a slow, rhythmic movement that had them both panting and moaning.

Their union was a dance of passion, their bodies moving in perfect harmony. George's every touch, every kiss, every word was a declaration of his love and possession. Y/N's legs wrapped around him, her heels digging into his back as she urged him deeper, her nails raking down his spine.

Their lovemaking grew more intense, their moans filling the room as they lost themselves in each other. The scent of their desire mingled with the lavender in the air, a heady aroma that only served to inflame their passions further. Y/N could feel another climax building, her muscles tightening around him as George's strokes grew more erratic.

"I'm going to come," he grunted, his pace quickening. "Come with me, love."

Her eyes locked with his, she whispered, "Yes," and the world shattered into a million pieces of pleasure as they reached the pinnacle together. Their bodies trembled in unison, clinging to each other as the aftershocks of their shared ecstasy rippled through them.

Finally, spent and sated, George collapsed beside her, pulling her close. They lay there, breathing heavily, their hearts beating in sync. The candlelight flickered over their entwined forms, casting shadows on the wall that danced like lovers.

The silence was filled with the unspoken promise of a lifetime of passion, a bond that had just been sealed in the most intimate of ways. This was just the beginning of their journey as husband and wife, a journey filled with love, lust, and a fiery desire that would never fade.

"You're mine," George murmured again, his voice a dark caress against her ear. "Say it."

"I'm yours," she responded, her voice a sultry whisper. "Always."

He pulled out of her slowly, his cock glistening with their combined arousal. He leaned over to kiss her, his tongue delving into her mouth with a possessiveness that sent sparks shooting through her veins. She could taste herself on him, a heady, intoxicating flavor that only served to fuel her need for more.

Rising from the bed, George grabbed her hand, his eyes never leaving hers as he led her into the en suite bathroom. The room was bathed in soft light from the flickering candles he had placed around the large, claw-footed tub. The water was steaming, filled with bubbles that promised relaxation and more passionate exploration.

He helped her in, her skin slick with sweat and desire as she sank into the warm embrace of the water. He followed, his body sliding in behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist. His cock was already hardening again, pressing against her back as he nibbled at her neck.

"I want you again," he growled, his hands gliding down to cup her breasts, his thumbs teasing her sensitive nipples. "I want to feel you come around me, hear you scream my name."

"And I want to feel you come inside me," she purred, arching her back to press against him. "To feel you fill me up, make me yours completely."

He positioned himself, his cock nudging at her entrance, and with a slow, deliberate thrust, he entered her once more. The water sloshed around them, the sound melding with their gasps and moans. His hands roamed her body, exploring every inch as he moved in and out of her with a leisurely rhythm that had her begging for more.

"Tell me," he murmured, his voice a low rumble. "Tell me how much you want it."

"I want it all," she breathed. "I want to be filled by you, George. I want to feel you own me."

He growled in response, his hips moving faster, his grip tightening on her hips. "You're mine," he repeated, his voice gruff with need. "Mine to love, mine to fuck, mine to cherish."

Their bodies moved in a sensual dance, the water lapping against their skin as they climbed higher and higher. His words were a dark symphony, a sultry melody that played in her mind, driving her to the brink of insanity.

"Come for me," he demanded, his voice a command she couldn't refuse. "Come all over me."

Her body responded, tightening around him, her orgasm building like a storm. She threw her head back, her eyes squeezed shut as pleasure crashed over her. "George," she screamed, her nails digging into his arms. "Oh, God, George!"

He followed her over the edge, his warm release filling her as he pumped into her, his body shaking with the force of his climax. They clung to each other, the water splashing around them, their hearts beating as one.

This was it, their first night as husband and wife. A night filled with dirty talk and smut, a promise of the endless passion that awaited them in their new life together. And as they lay in the tub, their bodies entwined, they knew that nothing would ever come between them, not even the most daunting of challenges.

The water grew tepid as their breathing evened out, but neither of them made a move to leave the sanctuary of their embrace. George's hand slid down to her clit, idly circling it as he nibbled at her ear. "Ready for round two?" he asked, his voice still thick with lust.

Y/N shivered at his touch, her body already responding to his gentle ministrations. "Always," she murmured, her voice a siren's call. She turned in his arms, straddling him, her legs slipping around his waist.

He groaned as she took him in once more, her slickness making it easy for her to slide down his length. The warm water caressed their skin as they moved together, the sound of their bodies slapping against each other echoing in the quiet room. It was a rhythm as old as time, a dance that had brought them to this moment.

Their eyes locked, the love and desire in George's gaze setting Y/N's soul alight. She moved faster, her hips rolling as she rode him, her breasts bouncing with the motion. His hands found purchase on her hips, guiding her, urging her to take all of him.

And she did, eagerly, greedily, her own orgasm building once more. The candles flickered low, casting an intimate glow over their entwined forms. This was more than just sex, it was a declaration of their love, a physical manifesto of their union.

With a final, desperate cry, Y/N came, her inner muscles clenching around George's cock. He followed her over the edge, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, his head thrown back. They stayed like that for a moment, lost in the aftermath, their hearts pounding in their chests.

Then, with a chuckle, George pulled her closer, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Mrs. Clarke," he whispered, his voice filled with a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.

"I love you too, Mr. Clarke," she responded, her voice shaky with emotion. "Forever and always."

They climbed out of the tub, their bodies glistening with water and sweat. George wrapped her in a soft, fluffy towel, drying her off with gentle strokes that sent shivers down her spine.

He picked her up again, carrying her back to the bed, their love-making far from over. The night stretched out before them, a canvas of endless possibilities, a tapestry of passion and lust they were eager to weave together.

As they lay down, George reached for the champagne, his eyes never leaving hers. "To us," he said, pouring them both a glass.

They toasted again, the golden liquid bubbling in their flutes, a reflection of the joy in their hearts. They sipped, the crisp taste of the champagne a celebration of their love. They were no longer just George Clarke and Y/N; they were Mr. and Mrs. Clarke, a team ready to conquer the world.

The rest of the night was a blur of passion and pleasure, their bodies moving in sync, their hearts beating as one. And as the sun began to rise over the London skyline, they knew that this was just the first chapter in their love story, a tale that would be written in sweat, tears, and the sweetest of kisses.

As they lay tangled in the sheets, their bodies sated and their hearts full, George couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. This was it—his best friend, his confidant, his lover, all rolled into one perfect package. He pulled her closer, her head resting on his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting lullaby.

Their breaths mingled, their hearts syncing to the rhythm of their shared love. The warmth of her body against his was the most incredible feeling he had ever known. This was home, and he never wanted to leave.

And as they drifted off to sleep, their limbs tangled together, they knew that no matter what life threw at them, they would face it as one. As husband and wife, forever bound by the most primal of instincts, and the most profound of loves.

The promise of forever stretched out before them, filled with all the love, laughter, and adventure that life had to offer. And as the sun rose, painting the sky with hues of pink and gold, George knew that he had found his home, his sanctuary, his reason for being. It was in the arms of the woman who had captured his heart, in the warmth of their shared passion, and in the quiet moments that would shape their future.

*****

Taglist~

@gvf23