#i.e. magnus calling isak an idiot for behaving like that after the manic episode

[toneelspeler]

What is your opinion on the nature of domestic disputes/arguments/fights between Isak and Even as well as its depiction within fanwork? One one hand I don’t at all see them being the couple to constantly argue and yell but I also think it’s naive to think that they live in a sweet little bubble 100% of the time in their apartment playing fifa and making love. I think what makes them such an amazing example of a couple is that they’re not perfect. CONT

Of course I realize that most people don’t want to spend muchtime talking about the negative traits of their favs but I would love to knowwhat kind of things they argue about and how they deal with it. I’ve yet toread a fic where their disputes aren’t something silly like laundry and thedishes that is quickly absolved with kisses and a smile. Not to say that it’sunrealistic or oversimplified to depict every day annoyances in that way, butbeing a young couple who, very quickly tbh, moved in with each other, I can’timagine that they have everything worked out perfectly. The most loving anddevoted relationships still suffer from feelings of suffocation andco-dependence. It’s cute in the grand bubble of things to look at theirrelationship like two soulmates meeting in a stars aligned story book scenariobut I think I prefer to see them in a realistic light? They’ve been through somuch individually and together but it’s not sunshine and roses now. They’re notalways going to be bundled up in bed staring at each other lovingly (even thoughI can always read it in about 200 different ways with a dopey smile on my face) they’re both in school, they both have jobs that probably don’t paymuch.. I can’t imagine their parents pay for everything.. money is a huge pointof contention with any relationship. Anyway I’m going to stop therebefore you get annoyed with me lol. I would love to hear your thoughts aboutthis as well as other people’s? I’ve just never seen this discussed before! Ta ❤️

Hiya anon! What agreat and fascinating question! I’m going to focus on Isak and Even’s relationship in particular in canon though bc I do think fic like you mention has a different purpose than the canon story does. 

Generally, I personallyfeel they would probably not have a lot of arguments bc I do feel like theywould try to keep their communication at the forefront. They realised veryearly on that miscommunication might be their biggest downfall, honestly (withisak completely shutting off even after his manic episode and even notdisclosing his girlfriend early on or reacting to isak’s comment on mentallyill people – instead withdrawing and not talking about it he made the decisionto not discuss it and give Isak the chance to ~redeem himself or make his mindup. But still, I can understand even’s thoughts here though.). but both ofthese guys have a tendency to keep thinking thinking thinking and not talkingtalking talking. They probably have gotten a lot better than they used to bebut it’s still something you have to keep on training in a relationship.

So what would theyargue about? I do think Isak’s family situation might be a sore spot, andhowever Even’s a supportive and understanding person he might sometimes pushIsak a little towards them that I don’t think Isak would always appreciate. Fromall the little comments we had on Even’s home situation it seems very different compared to Isak’s – so hemight not always realise that some comments might be hurtful for Isak? And Isakbeing the doofus he is might not always want to talk about it or deal with it. Moneycould also be a point of contention when Isak’s father might not want tocontinue paying his son’s rent and food. Although there was no sign of him notdoing so at the end of SKAM.

Other things..well, if we’re talking about money – we do know Even’s issue with being tooimpulsive during manic episodes. As of now, Even’s still very insecure abouthow to live with his mental illness and Isak’s also still learning (both withEven’s illness as well as his mother’s). For Even, I think it’s probably a carefulbalance between actions during euthymic and manic/depressive states; when is somethinga result of his illness and what is not? Can you blame him for stuff he doesduring his manic or depressive states? Not that I think that Even would use itas an excuse in any way but lines can get blurred and it’s important for Evento take his responsibility for stuff he does that do hurt people sometimes, butalso have the perspective of knowing that he can’t always blame himself foreverything. I’m not sure whether they would really argue about it, but I dothink they have very long and very hard conversations about it, and about them.Isak’s not perfect either, he might do something wrong, and Even might, as yousaid, feel suffocated. He’s felt that way before. Those conversations might not always be fun for eitherof them but they need to have them if they want to last. And you know, thatcould result in a time of a grim feeling in their apartment.

One last thing I wantto mention is based on one skam fic that I found such an interesting way ofdiscussing it: Even trying to protect Isak by saying he could always leave,when in all reality it makes Isak feel like shit bc it feels like Even’s sayingthat Isak should just give up and leave when times get hard. And that’s notwhat Isak wants to do. That was soooo them and good: bc in the end, I dobelieve that they will always keep in mind that their relationship is somethingthey built together and decide on togetherand they choose to be together and if one of them decides it’s notsomething he’s wholeheartedly in for then they’ll end it. But I think at thispoint they really want to grow together and are wholeheartedly in.

So basically – lotsof miscommunication in the beginning but when they get their knuckleheads backon their shoulders they solve their tension and troubles by communicating. Evenin hard times.

And maybe with afew kisses afterwards🌺.