#i.e. bob explaining to one of his kids that part of growing up is facing disappointment but that doesn't have to be the end of things

[tinarannosaurus]

not to beat a broken record but like. what was that episode? it only felt like half a premise—a new VR place opens next door, gene spends all his money on it, it’s bad, and then...what? that’s it? it sucks, life is disappointing, but their arms look goofy when they dance and that’s supposed to take the sting away? compare it to some of the other bob-gene bonding episodes (the laser-inth, li’l hard dad) and it feels so clear that we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel on episode ideas and emotional arcs, with effectively no return at this point (to say nothing of the louise-tina-linda-teddy barely-enough-meat-on-its-bones-to-be-a-c-plot b-plot.)

why did the VR games have to be shitty? what if the menu tower collapsed halfway through and we get some dumb bickering about something where the stakes feel higher than they are? what about a goofy VR cooking game that bob could care less about (bc it’s basically his job) but gene gets surprisingly into it and that’s something new for them to bond over? what if the customers had gotten overly invested in the tower building and started trading bets on how high it would go or when it would collapse? what if there had been a VR fashion or music game that felt like it was made just for gene? I’m not even saying any of these are what I would’ve actually wanted to see, but the point is that clearly you could’ve done more with this episode, so why did it feel so phoned in?

[rawiswhore]

Various WWF Wrestlers x Fem Reader- “It’s Raining Men”

In April of 1998, D Generation X was no longer Triple H, Shawn Michaels and Chyna.

Now, Shawn has left the faction, but they've added the New Age Outlaws and the former 123 Kid who's now known as X Pac, who now has gotten a complete makeover.

D Generation X are notorious for their rebellious, shocking and downright savage antics, they're part of the reason why the WWF is known as WWF Attitude.

One of their naughty (yet tame and mild compared to the other things they've done) moments they've done is when Triple H dared them to urinate, as in pee/piss, on a group of redneck bikers known as the Legion of Doom's motorcycles, and of course they peed on their motorbikes because D Generation X.

They'll do anything for shock value.

And this moment just so happened to be in April of 1998.

(Here's a fun fact: this was DX's own idea and apparently they actually did pee on the Legion of Doom's motorcycles).

Seeing them piss on the Legion of Doom's motorcycles actually gave you not one, but two ideas.

One was an idea you definitely want to do, another is an idea you're skeptical about, the skeptical idea might make DX skeptical as well.

One day in April of 1998, before D Generation X invaded WCW, you told Triple H an idea that popped in your head after he dared DX to piss on the Legion of Doom's bikes, and he loved your idea.

He wasn't the only one you shared your idea with.

You told another D Generation X member your plan involving this member, and that member is Billy Gunn.

Billy, of course, loves your idea.

But there's other wrestlers in your plan you told your idea to.

In the 1980's, there was a tagteam known as the Midnight Express, they were managed by Jim Cornette, and in 1998, despite that the WWF's Attitude era was notorious for having trash talking, beer drinking, middle finger flashing rednecks, obnoxious fratboys who point to their crotches and shout an equally obscene catchphrase and do rebellious and downright jawdropping shit, a pimp with a group of prostitutes, a porn star, a nutcase who carries a female mannequin head, and a slutty nymphomaniac, this era also gave us the new Midnight Express, who weren't really all that badass.

And this new Midnight Express didn't have any of the original members, but instead Bart Gunn---the same Bart Gunn who was once tagteam partners with Billy Gunn and would later on be in that infamous Brawl for All--and Bob Holly, the same Bob Holly that would end up becoming known as "Crash Holly" during the Attitude era and having platinum blond Eminem wannabe hair.

Even though the new Midnight Express was a complete flop, Bart Gunn has grown his hair out and he looks so much hotter with longer hair than with short hair (though, that's true of men and women in general).

Bob Holly also now has blond hair and looks like a Great Value Brand Ric Flair.

Bob is kind of handsome and attractive, he might not be Paul Bearer levels of ugly, but he isn't Shawn Michaels or Jeff Hardy in terms of looks.

You shared with Bart and Bob your plan you had involving them, and they too, liked your idea, though they're not so enthusiastic about it.

Finally, there was one last wrestler in the WWF you had to tell your idea with.

Who is he? Scott Taylor.

The same Scott Taylor that would eventually become Scotty 2 Hotty and become notorious for doing the worm.

Before he cut his hair and bleached it blond, he had long, tousled honey blond hair, and he was kinda cute.

You shared with him your idea, and he liked your idea.

You told each of these wrestlers where you've planned on doing your idea, and one evening, you invited them to the locker room.

You sat on the locker room's floor on your knees, whereas these aforementioned wrestlers were standing and swarming all around you.

These wrestlers standing around you pulled their tights down, and if they were wearing jeans, they pulled the zippers and let the buttons of their jeans escape from the holes, only to pull their jeans down, all of these men exposing their erections pointing right in front of your face.

Of course, they didn't pull their tights down one another (i.e. Triple H pulling Bart Gunn's tights or whatever).

While they were pulling their tights and jeans down, you lifted the oversized T-shirt you were wearing off of your torso and over your head, you wore no bra underneath.

Triple H and Billy's eyes grew wild seeing you topless, they could nearly roar out "yyyyyeaaaaaaaahhhh!!!" seeing your bare tits.

Once their dicks, at least the tips of their penises, were pointing at your face, they began to masturbate, wrapping their fingers around their shafts and pumping their cocks.

Again, Triple H didn't put his fingers around Billy Gunn's shaft and give him a handjob, but I wanted to explain this all better.

Since cum might touch your face, you closed your eyes, so their precum or even jizz in general won't get in your eyes, that stings and hurts your eyes.

These wrestlers jerking off in front of your face were looking down at your face.

"Why's she closing her eyes?" Scott asked.

"So cum won't get in her eyes" Triple H answered. "It stings when cum gets in someone's eye"

Scott nodded his head, not knowing this fact.

Triple H had a huge, shit eating grin while he masturbated to your face, so did Billy.

Triple H was standing in front of your face, so was Bart and Billy, they're the hottest ones, whereas Scott and Bob were standing by the sides of your face and head.

While you were sitting on the floor, you were imagining Billy during his New Age Outlaws days at the end of 1997 beating off in front of your face, that was when he was at his sexiest.

And, while Bob Holly and Scott Taylor are pretty attractive, you imagined it was Shawn Michaels and Jeff Hardy jerking their cocks off on your face.

You miss Shawn SO much and Jeff sadly couldn't be in the WWF at the beginning of 1998.

The WWF made a big mistake when they didn't hire Rob Van Dam at first, you wish he could've jerked off in front of your face as well.

It's also too bad Leif Cassidy had to grow facial hair (he eventually went by Al Snow, which is what he'll always be remembered for) and Marty Jannetty left the WWF, they could jerk off on your face and tits too.

Some other wrestlers in the locker room are seeing what's going on.

They see the backs of these wrestlers all huddled together and hear these masturbation-like noises, what's going on?

They walked over to behind what's going on, only to find you sitting on the locker room's floor, having these wrestlers jack off their cocks in front of your face, hoping to aim their precum on your face and tits.

Some of them rolled their eyes and expected "typical" and walked away, others were watching what was going on.

"Hey, can I join too?" one wrestler asked.

"Fuck off!" Triple H barked back.

It's probably some ugly wrestler you don't care about, so he can go away.

"Fuck you, motherfucker!" this wrestler snapped back, pointing the middle finger at them. "Your chick is a whore"

Whatever, he can go fuck himself or go fuck Sunny, for all you care.

Some of their precum is hitting your face and dripping down your face, and when they're not aiming at your face, they're aiming at your tits.

And yep, some of their precum is landing on your tits, dripping down the skin on your breasts.

The room was filled with sounds of these male wrestlers in front of you masturbating their dicks as well as some of their groans, grunts and soft, quiet moans and breathing.

You slightly were inspired by this bukakke after when DX peed on the Legion of Doom's bicycles, and you want their precum and jizz to flow out of their penis heads like urine.

Not having little spurts, no, having a huge flow of cum shoot on your face and tits, like someone's bladder is full and they're emptying their bladder by taking a long piss without little pauses.

While sitting on your knees, you're contemplating whether or not to stick your tongue out and catch their precum on your tongue like a snowflake.

You opened your eyes and looked up at these wrestlers towering above you, jerking off.

They saw that you opened your eyes, what's going on?

Thought you didn't want cum in your eyes.

"Guys" you said "Should I stick my tongue out and catch your precum with my tongue?"

That rhymed, you thought. Cum with tongue.

The wrestlers in front of you heard what you had said, they thinking about it.

"Whatever you want" Bart suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll look like a dog sticking my tongue out!" you protested, pointing to your lips.

Though, you're pretty sure these wrestlers do want to see you stick your tongue out.

"Do you want to see my tongue out?" you asked them.

"I don't mind" Billy admitted.

Though, you sticking your tongue out will kinda ruin this bukkake orgy, but whatever.

Scott, Bart and Bob were indifferent, Triple H probably does wanna see you stick your tongue out.

Whatever.

Your tongue lolled out of your mouth, which made Billy Gunn and Triple H roar out these huge "yyyyyyyeaaaaaahh!"s and spread ear-to-ear smiles on their faces.

You lifted and stuck your tongue out, enough so their precum will get on your tongue, looking like when you were a kid catching snowflakes and raindrops with your tongue.

Surprisingly, no precum got into your eyes, thank goodness.

Some of it, though was dripping on top of your tongue, and when you got enough precum on your tongue, you pulled your tongue back in your mouth, the top and bottom of your mouth opening wide so the precum won't get off of your tongue thanks to your lips or teeth.

You shut your mouth and swallowed the precum, their precum running down your throat.

When they weren't aiming their dicks at your face, then they were aiming them at your tits, some of their precum getting on your breasts.

"Play with your tits a bit!" Triple H ordered you to do "Rub them!"

You lifted your hands and placed them on your breasts, where you could feel their precum on the tips of your fingers.

You began to caress, smear and rub their precum on your tits, all of the wrestlers standing in front of you observing and watching this (that rhymed).

Triple H and Billy adored this, ear-to-ear smiles plastered on their faces, roaring "yyyyyyyyyyeaaaaaaaaahhhh!", even Scott and Bob enjoyed this.

Bart somewhat enjoyed this as well, a slight little smirk on his face, but he wasn't as heavily into it as Billy and Triple H were.

Triple H isn't much different from who he plays in the WWF, even when the cameras aren't rolling, Billy's quite a bit of a scamp as well.

You removed your hands off of your breasts so they could see your tits, your breasts looking oily and shiny courtesy of you rubbing their precum on them.

"Fuck yeahhhhh!!!" Billy roared, he and Triple H both way too happy about this.

They were smiling so much, their smiles could spread out of their faces like Freaky Fred from "Courage the Cowardly Dog", or those people with ear-to-ear shit eating grins in Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" music video.

Billy and Triple H have beautiful smiles, by the way.

You shook your tits back and forth a bit, the two of them absolutely loving this, Billy making a wolf whistle with his other hand.

You didn't invite X Pac and Road Dogg to this bukakke session, because they're both ugly.

Sadly, Shawn isn't in the WWF anymore.

Your tongue slipped out between your lips once more, sticking it out horizontally as far as it would go.

You look ridiculous but whatever gets cum on your tongue.

These wrestlers lifted their cocks up above your tongue and proceeded to jerk off above your tongue and on your face, some of their precum getting on top of your tongue.

Your tongue crawled back into your mouth, closing it once it was inside your mouth, and swallowed their precum.

While these men were all jerking off, some of their precum was spilling down their shafts, which made their cocks slipperier, easier for them to masturbate.

Some of these men were breathing quite heavily, leaning their heads back and groaning over how good it feels to pump their cocks.

You would probably like to stick your tongue out and get all of these men's precum and maybe even regular cum to be on top of your tongue, but Bob and Scott are on the sides of your faces.

While these men are jacking their cocks off in front of your face, they're trying to not let their shafts and penises touch one another.

Getting jizzed on is wonderful, but maybe you should tell which man where you want them to cum on you.

Though, you're thinking of having all of these men jizz on your face, even the men who aren't all that attractive.

Speaking of cum...

"Oh-oh my God, I'm gonna cum!" Billy Gunn exclaimed, and he groaned when he came.

His dick was pointing at your tits, and he jizzed on your chest, his cum no longer clear, but white.

While ejaculating on your face is nice, it's also equally nice for him to cum on your tits.

Pretty soon, one after another, but not RIGHT after, these wrestlers officially did cum.

Triple H came on your face and a bit on your tits.

Bob and Scott came on the sides of your face, which is where you want them to cum on.

Bart jizzed on your face.

Oh, if only these men officially ejaculated on both your face and your tits (and maybe even your mouth as well!).

Your face looks like you have melted white candle wax, lotion or coffee cream on it.

When all of the men had came, you finished them off with blowjobs, cleaning their cocks and shafts off with your mouth and tongue.

Triple H and Billy both couldn't resist shouting "suck it!!" while you performed fellatio on them, separately, as well as doing the iconic "crotch chop" that goes with that phrase.

Sometimes, while you were sucking and cleaning one cock, you moved your face over to the other cock and sucked and licked it.

You'd love to put maybe two cocks in your mouth, specifically Triple H and maybe Bart or Billy Gunn's cocks, but they don't want their dicks to touch one another!

No homo.

Though, remember, Triple H did once say "I'm many things that are bi, but lingual isn't one of them!".

And the homoerotic innuendo D Generation X had...

Billy eventually went on to be in Billy and Chuck, a tag team with a blatantly homosexual gimmick and even almost had a same sex marriage, and Billy is also someone who eventually would wear short shorts, sometimes they'd be colored pink, with kisses all over them.

Hell, they compete in a sport involving muscular, sweaty, oiled up men groping and hugging each other, sometimes they're so close to each other, their genitals touch one another, while wearing tights and Speedo's and having their faces in each other's crotches, and they're afraid of touching another guy's wang?

When this little orgy was over, you confessed to these men another idea you had in mind was them...peeing on you.

Urinating.

Pissing.

On you.

Yes, inspired by when D Generation X peed on the Legion of Doom's bicycles.

They all couldn't help but burst into laughter, some of their eyes grew wild and big, but in shock.

While it isn't as disgusting or bacteria filled as something else you do in the toilet, getting peed on is a little gross.

But pee doesn't really contain almost no bacteria.

Donald Trump is a huge WWE fan and even in the WWE Hall of Fame, and of course, there's that rumored tape of him watching Russian prostitutes pee.

If only he was to see you get urinated on by some WWF wrestlers.

But Donald is a piece of shit so fuck him.

There's also that urban legend that Shawn Michaels invited 3 ringrats to a hotel room, whipped his cock out and peed in their mouths or faces (or both).

If only he didn't have to leave the WWF!

A notorious moment in the WWF eventually was when Triple H claimed he was gonna pee on the audience, and it's implied he "pees" on the audience while the rest of DX are bunched next to him, only for the camera to shift around them and show it's Triple H just cranking a Supersoaker.

Wonder if this little bukakke session was the inspiration for that moment?

[her-culture]

There's an Animation Revolution Coming and We Need to Pay Attention

There is an animation revolution coming and we really need to start paying more attention to it. If you were born during the 1990’s, you experienced what I like to call the “Golden Age” of cartoon series in America. This was when Cartoon Network actually had a huge set list of cartoons for children, as well as provided exposure to Japanese animation (i.e. Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, and Pokémon), before Spongebob was the face of Nickelodeon, and you didn't have to go to some other channel to enjoy quality cartoons from Disney.

We may not have noticed it when we were young, but a lot of these cartoons actually had depth in the sense of the lessons we should be applying to our lives. The Powerpuff Girls taught to us all that you should always fight for justice, no matter what kind of person you are; Kim Possible showed us that you could be a girly girl and still kick some ass; Pokémon stimulated our imaginations, and motivated our sense of adventure. Those are just a few examples, but for each person, it was different.

Unfortunately, after the early 2000’s, there was a decline in quality animated shows for kids. For the longest time, if you weren’t into anime (Japanese animation) then all you really had to choose from were shows like Dora the Explorer or Family Guy. There was no good in-between, until now.

Like I said, Cartoon Network used to have a huge set list of cartoons until recently. They were the cartoon elitists. It is literally a network for cartoons. And it’s not like they haven’t noticed. Whenever Cartoon Network does a movie special, there is a segment where all their cartoon characters gather in an imaginary movie theater to “watch” with us. During my childhood, the theater was always full. But that was in the early 2000’s. In 2012, there was a photo going around on the internet showing that they brought this segment back, However, instead of an imaginary theater with a huge crowd full of a variety of characters, there were about ten characters. The photo compared the 2002 version to the 2012 version, and it was very depressing. Most of the characters in the 2002 version are now found on Cartoon Network’s sister channel Boomerang, a channel meant to show Cartoon Network originals that are 10+ years old.

Cartoon humor in the 90’s was arguably crude but not necessarily in a negative way. It was full of a lot of sarcasm (to say the least) or poking fun at real life social issues going on. Some cartoons like The Proud Family were explicit about these issues, whereas cartoons like The Powerpuff Girls would touch on issues without explicitly saying which ones they were talking about.

Suddenly, the only cartoons that actually related to real life issues were featured on adult cartoons channels, leaving children with  no real exposure on how to actually deal with real life social issues. I found this to be a real issue. Media is very influential, and most kids watch cartoons. People seemed to forget that cartoons can be educational, as well as entertaining, and sometimes can be a lot easier for children to retain information from them because it sparks their imaginations.

The only cartoon that seemed to still be doing this during this period of animated decline was Avatar: The Last Airbender. When the series ended in 2008, there seemed to be an uproar. People were craving a good plot filled with life lessons. Then in 2010, Adventure Time debuted, a new and satisfactory aesthetic of cartoon expectations began to arise.

We are in a time where the values of diversity and relatability are targeted more often by audiences, especially by us millennials. This is because we want future generations to feel as included as possible, because despite the great shows we watched while growing up, there was still a lack of diversity from race to sexuality. We also, as a society, seem to ignore the age group of eight- to twelve-year-olds who are not quite young enough that they need cartoons to learn how to count, but also should not be exposed to the crudeness of Family Guy and the like. It is when Adventure Time debuted that this age group started to actually receive attention. This period of development between ages eight and twelve is so important, because this is the stage when kids develop prime social skills and do so through what they see, especially on TV.

However, sometimes kids don’t want to watch actual people on TV. I know, because I was one of those kids. So we need to have a little something for everybody. Adventure Time definitely started out as something that seemed like 15 to 20 minutes of nonsense, but as it gained popularity, it also gained more depth.

The series follows the adventures of Finn, the last human on earth, and Jake, his adoptive brother who is a magical dog, in the Land of Ooo. As the series progressed, it sparked several conspiracy theories from fans and the creators of the show went off of those theories, created storylines for episodes that either validated or invalidated them. The episodes would provide life lessons about being who you want to be, having trust in others and yourself, not letting people take advantage of you, and much more. The show also grew with the audience. The voice of Finn has admitted that as Finn got older, he would change the pitch of his voice to match the time that has passed.

This show paved the way for more shows with solid plot lines filled with life lessons like Gravity Falls, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, and–my personal favorite–Steven Universe to make an impact. All of these shows have a complex story line and/or diverse and relatable characters. In their own unique ways, they teach kids life lessons in similar ways as cartoons in the 90’s did.

A lot of these shows are very popular with millennials, which is not a bad thing. Millennials are arguably the most nostalgic generation. Growing up happened in a blink of an eye to a lot of us. To get the feeling of being a kid again is something that drives us, to some degree. It is the diversity of these cartoons that is attractive to us. Star vs. the Forces of Evil features a Latino main protagonist; Steven Universe fights the stigma of hyper-masculinity with a cast of mostly people of color and several strong female characters; Gravity Falls features an eccentric, strong, and girly main character and emphasizes the importance of healthy familial relationships. When we see something that remotely relates to our childhood, we try to hold onto it and keep it as pure as possible. Thus, our interest in these cartoons keeps views up without us asking to alter in any way to make it seem more “adult”. With millennials being interested in these kinds of animated shows, it leads to a “trickle down” theory in a way. Let me explain.

For the most part, cartoons for adults really only include crude, insensitive humor. The Simpsons was the only adult cartoon that had some kind of depth to it until recently and somehow, Seth MacFarlane managed to dominate the adult animation game. Even so, the same trope was followed: dumb, unattractive father; attractive housewife who is either equally dumb or slightly smarter, and is secretly unhappy in some aspect of her marriage, which is tested constantly; daughter who does not fit in, and is ridiculed either by the rest of the family and/or the society around her (or daughter who is slut-shamed for being sexually active); dumb, reckless son; and baby who is secretly smarter than everyone in the house. This can only be entertaining for so long, and Seth MacFarlane managed to make three shows (Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show) with these exact same tropes, making them get older even faster.

Then in 2011, Bob’s Burgers debuted. It was another animated sitcom about a family living their everyday life. However, the difference was that the tropes had a little bit of a spin. You have Bob and Linda who are actually happily married. When they fight, it is never serious enough where the plot is focused on it. They encourage each other, and neither of them are smarter than the other per se. Then there are their children Tina, Gene,and Louise. Tina is a very confident, socially awkward teen whose means for going about things is never attacked for it by her family. When she is attacked for how she is by people in the society around her, her family comes to her rescue without hesitation. Gene, the only boy, is arguably very genderfluid but again, never attacked for it. This aspect of Gene is also never used as a means of tension between him and his father. Louise is very eccentric and, you guessed it, never attacked for it. Instead, the whole family accepts the kind of person she is. Also, all of the children act as they would in their respective age groups despite the jokes that are made and the audience is definitely reminded. As a collective, the family is weird but they are all super supportive of each other, something that was only really seen on The Simpsons. But even then, the supportiveness was usually seen  after they were encouraged to suppress it, or after a family member  was ridiculed by another . Bob’s Burgers  has also demonstrated  respect to pronouns with a recurring character named Marshmallow: a transwoman for whom the family always makes sure to use the pronouns “she” and “her”. Bob’s Burgers has been running for a good six years now and has been very successful. The show is still has some adult humor, but it is not as crass as that of any of Seth MacFarlane’s past creations.

We are entering a new age of cartoons that needs all the attention it can get. We need to make sure that kids of all ages have access to life lessons no matter what form of media they decide to look at. It is our job as millennials, and also the duty of parents, to make sure access to these shows is readily available. I love cartoons and I really think you should too.