#i.e. being literally kicked out of his colony for messing up a planet once

[rainbow-wolf120]

"Someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all"

[ganymedesclock]

I’m biting the bullet and posting my generals’ backstory headcanons before s6 because I can’t lose, either s6 has a bunch of juicy backstory details that contradict me or there’s not much backstory and my headcanons are fine.

Acxa

Sibling theory, she’s older than Keith so she got to have a good childhood growing up close to both her parents, thinks of herself as a human and a galra, doesn’t talk about the non-galra side of her heritage much so this strong-held perception can be a bit of a surprise. After all barely anyone in the empire even knows what a human is and lately they’ve mostly been brought up in terms of “those rebel people who are most of Voltron” so this hasn’t been encouraging her to open up to, say, Haggar. 

Most people pretty much don’t care about what else she is besides “not pure galra”. Even Lotor and the other Generals don’t know she’s human- not that she didn’t trust them, she just doesn’t talk about it. 

There’s a standing draft on galra, including mixed race galra as long as you’re “galra enough”, to go to military academy. It’s somewhat loosely enforced- more or less the discretion of individual commanders who will often use it specifically as a punishment for “tax evasion”, I.E. having kids you don’t tell the government about. Acxa was more or less kidnapped and declared a ward of the state and there wasn’t much Krolia could do about it.

That wound her up in military academy- she started off incredibly scrappy / picked fights with anybody who so much as looked at her crosswise because she didn’t want to be here and everybody was gonna hear about it, but given her mixed race status she was disproportionately punished.

She effectively came out the other side as a perfectionist- buckle down and keep everything under wraps, perfect grades, perfect grooming, perfect record of behavior. The idea of “I’m a disliked minority but if I’m literally perfect, no one can hold it against me.” Which... predictably didn’t work out quite as hoped but it did get her considered for a higher position than a mixed race galra would normally be allowed for with a commander planning on snapping her up as a lieutenant as soon as she graduated.

Incidentally Lotor was sniffing around the academy at that point- he’d gotten himself nicely established resource-wise and had an opening for skilled manpower. As much as Acxa had “cleaned up” in the empire’s eyes, she was still raised by a Blade and Krolia’s rebel sentiment and Acxa’s love for her father, plus the harsh reception she had at the hands of the empire were basically all kindling for a pretty intense revolutionary sentiment- she hated what the empire stood for.

Lotor hit it off with her very strongly in terms of ideals, and his selling point to her heavily was the opportunity to change the empire, this bright future he believed in. Acxa was pretty starstruck by what he proposed and came out of that kind of... considering herself closer to Lotor because she felt like she had a keener sense of what he believed in.

The commander that had wanted her as a lieutenant gave her a relatively intimidating talk about how disappointing it was that she’d “settle for less” but she wasn’t about to be deterred.

Zethrid

Galra soldier mom, kythran dad. They met under... not ideal circumstances, he was technically breaking the law as a smuggler but she had sympathy for his cause (he was trying to protect people back home by getting needed resources to them) and pulled what strings she could to cover him / became his contact within the empire. That partnership became love, they had Zethrid, and kept her hidden.

Zethrid wasn’t found- her mom wasn’t suspected, being a “good soldier”, but her father was caught and executed by the empire, and mom couldn’t save them. That was a pretty hard blow to her emotionally, leaving her feeling like she couldn’t take care of Zethrid and that Zethrid was better off as far away from the empire as possible. She left Zethrid on Kythra with her partner’s relatives and then went back to the empire, cutting off contact entirely.

Zethrid grew up on Kythra raised by her paternal grandmother. She was pretty immersed in Kythran culture- “Zethrid” is a galra anglicization of a kythran name. Huge kythran pride- her granny was a tribal leader and a sweet-faced, stoop-backed woman who uses a cane to get around. The cane is actually a pretty high-powered rifle, as a couple of would-be bandits have found out the hard way. Everybody loves Am-Hal. Nobody messes with Am-Hal. Zethrid metamorphoses into the most well-mannered young lady you have ever seen around Am-Hal because she loves her gran. On the flipside she has high standards for respecting anybody else because if you’re in her esteem, you have to share that category with her gran and not just anybody gets to be mentioned in the same breath as gran.

Of the generals, Zethrid actually had a pretty happy childhood. Learned to shoot on Kythra, thanks to her galra genes she grew tall quickly and got pretty darn strong which in a closed community where the chores are everybody’s problem that was more of an asset than a liability. Really not too cut up about the separation from her mother- doesn’t hold the woman any enmity, but she kinda precluded having a relationship and Zethrid doesn’t really care to go hunting for that. 

Kythra had a history of being a “problem child” for the colonizing empire- they actually did a darn good job fighting back and their lack of permanent settlements and ability to navigate the environment / guerrilla warfare meant the local commander had resorted to different tactics and basically was trying to starve them out with a heavy embargo on resources. This was what had motivated Zethrid’s dad to become a smuggler.

This was what gave Zethrid the idea of going to military academy and becoming a soldier- it’d be good pay and if she could get a position in the occupying fleet she could open up more ways for resources to get to Kythra. In her wildest dreams maybe she could even take out the commander, give ‘em what’s coming to ‘em.

She basically had to pay out of pocket to get to the military academy, and quickly established herself as not somebody to be crossed but if you left her alone she’d do the same. (Most galra cadets think twice about crossing a large intimidating girl who’s very proud of her Kythran heritage and will drop you in the next hand-to-hand drill without hesitation). Easily the most disappointing thing for her was that compared to the ancestral craft of kythran gunsmiths, the standard imperial rifle did not measure up. “Where’s the kick? It feels like I’m shooting a piece of driftwood, not a gun.”

She and Acxa were classmates but didn’t know each other that well. Lotor was interested in securing a potential alliance with Kythra- since it’s technically an imperial colony that wouldn’t raise any eyebrows but they’d proved pretty darn willing to mess the empire up. Between the offer to disrupt the embargo / play some politics around Kythra, and the potential resources he had to offer, he was bidding significantly higher than any other job offer Zethrid had, so she took him up on it.

Ezor

Grew up on a crowded metropolitan planet with a similar population to the Space Mall, so not only was her non-galra heritage one of multiple races present, but she was hardly the only mixed race galra. As a result, she doesn’t have a super strong tie to either her father or her mother’s people- she characterizes herself more as “I’m just some punk kid from Talor.”

Her galra father was technically AWOL who ran away from the fleet to be with his sweetheart, but since there was a price on his head as a deserter, he was limited in the work he could take and with mostly mom supporting the family, it was a struggle to make ends meet. Ezor was the oldest of five children, and pretty early on, got involved doing whatever she could to make money and support her family. Grade school Ezor was a pretty good pickpocket.

Once she got old enough, she held down a lot of different jobs- largely service and hospitality. She developed her particular saccharine attitude holding those jobs, in particular being overlooked and underappreciated- on the surface she acted very conciliatory and eager-to-please because she needed this job but she started assembling a lot of resentment under the surface.

Things got worse when her father was caught by bounty hunters and chose to go quietly rather than potentially draw their attention back to his family. Ezor’s mom wasn’t quite... the same, after that, and started going through the motions for her kid’s benefit but broke down big time. Ezor basically became head of the household, especially when her mother not taking good care of herself led to her getting pretty sick.

At some point, quietly behind Ezor’s back, her mom took out a life insurance policy, so that when she died, the family suddenly received more money than they were expecting. While it wouldn’t last, it would be enough to put Ezor through military school- even grunt soldier pay was a lot better than anything she could get on the civilian side, so she went with it.

Military academy was basically just another job she hated but she was versed in jobs she hated, especially when she could find some common ground and vent her frustrations with Zethrid.

Lotor recruiting her went pretty much like this:

(It wasn’t exclusively about money, like... if you take someone who did customer service for years and offer them assassin training and a position where they can threaten people for talking badly to them, the “and I can easily outbid anyone else offering you a job at this point” was just icing)

Narti

Narti’s the only one of the generals who didn’t go to military school and is, in fact, not recognized as a legal citizen of the empire. She’s also the only general who’s less than half galra. Effectively she was a lab-grown chimera synthesized from multiple donors in an attempt to create a biological superweapon that was funded by a commander who’d formerly been in Haggar’s circle but had gotten kicked to the fringes and was bitter about it and trying to show them all!

Which, not that he had bad ideas, per se, but he was effectively trying to keep this base hidden by putting it in orbit around an unstable star... and there’s a reason nobody would want to go near that real estate. The base started collapsing before the project was, in his opinion, viable, so he abandoned the research and its one living specimen to be destroyed by the sun.

That didn’t happen, because Lotor caught wind of the base being abandoned and some research that its commander didn’t want getting into the wrong hands, and rallied his three new generals for a salvage operation.

Finding a someone, rather than a something, was not what they were expected, but none of them in good conscience really wanted to leave her there- she was mistaken for a prisoner rather than a specimen and rescued. She wasn’t about to clarify otherwise, not really used to the idea of being spoken to and expected to carry a conversation, or acknowledged as a person even. Ezor was the one who gave her the name “Narti”.

The revelation afterwards that she was very strong and had a host of powerful abilities was not one they were all prepared for, and Lotor in particular was deeply uneasy around her for a long time.

Their relationship kind of progressed from “the more I know about you the less easily I sleep at night” to “I, for one, am very glad she’s on our side because I’ve seen what happens to her enemies” to by the time we see them in s3 Lotor’s near-totally numb to it. Just. “Lotor, what the hell is your fourth general” “an associate of mine who does excellent work.”

She was pretty used to operating blind before Kova became her personal helper / eye buddy, but that made her able to read and learn to be a pilot. The more time she spent with the team the more she was developing... some inclination to voice her opinions one way or another, but for the most part she just enjoyed being acknowledged and feeling part of the conversation, even without speaking.

[these-are-the-first-steps]

An objective, uninfluenced review and discussion of TLJ after just leaving the theatre- mileage may vary

THIS SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW IS UNDER A CUT. IF YOU SEE A TON OF TEXT AND NO CUT, SCROLL LIKE HELL. 

OK, so, some initial take-aways:

-This was a really busy movie

-I feel like they crammed three films into one and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-This did not have the standard feel of a star wars film and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

-Too much comedy. Sorry. It was a bit much and ruined the mood in a lot of places imo.

-Holy shit, that was the hottest, most sexualized hands-touching I have ever seen in my life

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Finn went to kamikaze. They had him get so close to the end, and that tear— jesus fuck I genuinely thought that was going to be the end and I was a mess. God bless you, Rose.

-My life literally flashed before my eyes when Leia was ejected from the ship- they had me going thinking this was how she was gonna go. The force flying was hokey as shit, but you know what? Fuck it. Carrie Fisher can cheat death and fly- it's fucking canon now. Deal with it.

-The music did not blow me away on TLJ as it did in TFA. Most likely because the movie was so damn busy.

-Too many climaxes. Yes, there is such a thing. I was worn out by the end of this film and there was no real catharsis at all because of it.

-I don't know how the fuck they're going to do 9 without Carrie after that ending. Well…I do have one idea, but I kinda hate it.

The Meat:

The scroll this film was interesting, in that its last sentence broke the mold of previous star wars crawls- that was my clue right off the bat that this would not be following the standard 'feel', for lack of a better word, of star wars films. Honestly, I don't expect the off-shoot movies like 'Rogue One' to follow whatever standard 1-7 do, but like I expect it from the main series, and like I said at the beginning, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. At the moment I'm a little disappointed that it deviated so much, but we got so many juicy tidbits and moments to have and to hold that that's kind of outweighing the minor point of format. So, I'll be seeing the film a few more times in various formats before coming to a hard conclusion on this.

Anyway…

HAHA POE GOT SLAPPED! THE SLAP HAPPENED! And it was pretty underwhelming honestly. And then out of nowhere Leia's all charm and kindness again? That really made the whole moment meaningless to me. Like she was never mad enough to slap him to begin with, so why? The moment was ruined by Leia's sharp U-turn and that sucked. They had a real opportunity to bring home just how severe and serious Leia's despair over so much loss has been, but the really watered it down every time, usually with comedy.

There was too much comedy in this film. I get maybe they were trying to lighten it up for the kiddos, but they did it in alllll the wrong places. It really botched the mood of the film repeatedly. The timing was just terrible. I mean right off the bat- sure, Poe's exchange with Hux was hilarious, but man it did not need to be in there. At least not first thing in the film when you're trying to set the tone. What a waste on all ends. That part really frustrated me.

I'm surprised at how soon Kylo bashed his helmet to pieces. That was really soon. Sadly the shock of it just wasn't there for me since I'd seen the trailers, but whatever. It was still a great moment done by Adam exceptionally well.

Mark Hamill was A+++ in this film. Everything about him was great. Absolutely stellar. While TLJ was mass confusion, Luke Skywalker stayed consistent and made linear sense throughout- the only exception being the very end. Why….why did he die again? I'm seriously confused? He looked pained, and I kept waiting for the camera to pan down to explain what was going on- did he actually have a giant saber hole in him from Ben or something? But no- he just flounders on a rock for a bit and then kicks it. I still just do not understand. I don't understand it at all. Also, Rian promised us some big compelling monologue from Luke that would be oscar-worthy and it wasn't there. Where was the monologue? Three sentences strung together do not a monologue make. Sorry, kids. I think Mark did a stellar job, as I said, and they've put him up for an oscar nom, but honestly….I don't think it was oscar-worthy simply because there wasn't enough there due to the over-taxed storyline, and if he does get one, it's gonna be earned out of sentiment more than anything, which….I mean, an oscar is an oscar, but still. You know? Also, we had stills and BTS footage of Luke down in that dark side hole with Rey and we never saw that. I hope Rian releases his director's cut so we get those scenes back- otherwise there's a good chance we'll get them in the novel or something.

Canto Bight was super unnecessary. What an unnecessary, overly-busy, budget-draining side romp. Maz was unnecessary. The whole 'let's get the codes' thing was unnecessary, although Benicio del Toro stole the fucking show with his character- that dude was great, and we'll definitely be seeing him again in 9. He's clearly going to be the side-character replacement for Phasma (RIP gurl). Canto Bight achieved only two things: 1. The FinnRose romance. 2. The stable kids, or at least one of them, has the force. Yep! That kid at the end- when he reaches for the broom, the broom jumps into his fucking hand, y'all. That kid has the force. The force is clearly back with a vengeance in the young babies of the galaxy. And that was it. I feel like they could have achieved both those things in better, more meaningful ways. But no, they wanted to do a casino(?) bit that will likely never be heard of again except in extended merchandising because fuck disney's money-grubbing ways. Oh, I DID like DJ's 'Rogue One' call-back reminder about how literally both sides of this war suck and everyone's trash, especially the warlords growing fat off the profits in the middle. I appreciated that bit. It was also a nice social commentary for a young audience that will hopefully stick with them. It was a cool moment that del Toro played beautifully.

Two words: PORG BABIES. Also, is Chewie vegetarian now? xD I don't think a whole colony of porgs should have come along in the falcon- that was a bit much. Again, comedy in places it didn't need to be. Whatever. Moving on.

Laura Dern's character dying was a waste, but you know what? That move she did was fucking brutal. It was amazing. It reminded me of 'Farscape' 's wormhole-popping maneuver immediately, plus extreme bonus damage. Just a beautiful sight.

Rose was great- Kelly Marie Tran knocked that shit out of the park. Laughs, tears, she ran the fucking gamut. I know we were all expecting more from her character's sister, but I guess it was the necessary setup to give her the impetus to go take risks. No complaints at all about Rose- I thought she was lovely.

Wow did Poe get a lot of screen time. He got a lot of screen time. I feel like Poe maybe learned some shit, but I honestly don't feel like Finn learned a whole lot which was disappointing. Even on Canto Bight he was like 'No, we're not doing this! Stop enjoying it!' Growth for him would be to start letting loose a bit, and he just doesn't. I also feel like we were deprived of a closing moment with him at the end of the film- we just get the tender moment with him and Rose, which was sweet, but it felt unfinished. I felt like Finn was more along for the ride in this film than actively moving it, and again I think that's the fault of this film being too damn busy and there not being enough time for things to go smoothly, linearly, and in ways that flowed naturally. There just wasn't time for it, clearly, and so character development suffered- unless you're Poe. Because damn Poe got a lot of screen time.

I felt like we should have spent more time on the salt planet. That felt like another over-done thing that, while the location was necessary, was it necessary to make it so busy? As I write this, I think I'm starting to realize that the backdrops are what have really distracted from the story. The backdrops haven't aided the story at all- they've just severely diverted attention from what's important- i.e. the struggles both literal and emotional happening to our characters. The casino was a riotous mess, visually stunning but constantly pulling my attention away from what was going on. The salt planet had tons of unique features but it didn't serve any purpose to the film. None of these backdrops serviced the story, and I think that's a HUGE problem. With an already busy, intricate web of storylines to keep up with, having all these non-contributing, busy-in-their-own-right backdrops just made it even harder to keep up and stay focused on what was going on. You don't leave the theatre feeling like all the threads came together in the end. You leave the theatre going "Well that was cool…but I feel like I've missed something", because you probably have. Here: YOUR BACKDROP SHOULD NOT BE COMPETING WITH YOUR STORY. Ok, I said it.

Snoke made some comments about Hux that were interesting and then promptly never talked about again. Why's that? Because there was no time. Pity. Anyway, the bit about him being easily manipulated because of his personal issues was great, and I was hoping we'd get to see more of that struggle with Hux, more of that fatal flaw at play- his daddy issues, insecurities about acceptance, etc., but it never came. Instead Hux was wasted on comedic moments. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Once again, unnecessary comedy fucking ruins the mood of this film.

Snoke's demise was shocking but also anti-climactic. They pulled all the power from him in one fell swoop and took this amazingly built-up character, this character that had SUCH cool potential, and Rian just threw it in the trash. I'm pretty disappointed. Actually, I'm really disappointed. No wonder Pablo was so disinterested in Snoke questions- Snoke was made ultimately irrelevant as a character. While the psychological effects of Snoke will continue to be a MAJOR issue, killing him was wasted potential, and now Ben’s lifelong struggle with this creature has been belittled and minimized because of it. That is terrible.

So now we get to the juicy bits- Rey and Ben.

We didn't get to see Rey hardly at all in this film. That….fucking sucked. Poe got more screen time than Rey. Fuck you, Poe. I'm pissed off about this. The only moving, worthwhile moments Rey had were opposite Ben. And boy did Daisy and Adam make the most of very limited screen time. Force Bond ahoy, y'all! We called it and it exists! However, it was really crazy abrupt. There was no lead-up of voices, of the connection establishing itself. One tiny teaser of it would have been enough, but no- suddenly it's just THERE, and the music and sound cuts, and if you weren't us and expecting this kind of force bond communication we've all been writing about prolifically for two years, I'm sure you were like "What the fuck- this is out of left field", because it was. Story-wise, it was. And that's disappointing. You want to see something you love executed well, and while you love and I love the connection, it wasn't executed well. It could have been done better. Again, any kind of hinted lead-up- since it was a surprise for both of them, maybe like a whisper of his voice calling to her in surprise? Or something. Instead we get them both right away, which was a bit blunt. I think it could have used with a bit of finessing. Oh well.

From a story analysis standpoint, I think Snoke's claim that he personally established the connection between them is bullshit. I think he was talking out of his ass, frankly. I think him claiming he forged the bond was back-peddling to try and continue to related all roads back to himself because while he certainly played the all-powerful omnipotence card, he clearly knew he wasn't and worked actively to maintain his illusion to keep Ben in check. But it was all a farce, as we could see, and even Ben knew where all the cracks in Snoke's observational skills were. He didn't really have 24/7 Ben TV. When Ben played him like a goddamn fiddle with that sneak attack, Ben showed that he could cloak and twist his intent in front of Snoke's face all day if he's focused enough, and felt he had enough purpose. He certainly did feel Ben becoming resolved alright. He felt him begin to prepare his saber. But how limited he was in what he could see! How limited, whereas Rey on the other hand….oh, he and Rey have something so much more than Snoke's clearly tenuous hold. Ben was only under the yoke as much as he wanted to be, and that realization is very much a doubled-edged sword. On the one hand, it meant he could find the strength to break free when he found a new purpose in Rey. But on the other, it also means he could have peaced out whenever he wanted and taken the FO with him but clearly he chose not to, which is awful and frustrating. But you know? When you wake up to your uncle looking like he's about to kill you in your goddamned sleep after you've spent years arguing against that sort of thing with the voices insisting your uncle will actually kill you, and suddenly the voices are right and your world is fucking shattered? When the voices become the only viable option in your life? I can get that. I may not agree with it, but I get it. And that's plenty.

Also, can we talk about the story of the school's destruction? So Kylo DID leave with some of the students. Let's make an educated guess and say they are the other Knights of Ren. Nice predicting, y'all. I'm sure they'll become major players in 9 as Kylo attempts to step into his role as supreme leader- while Snoke had the red guard, Kylo will have his knights. Cool. Very cool.

To back-track a little, I enjoyed the force chats between Rey and Ben a lot. I feel like more of them happened that we weren't shown. Even as Rey was recounting her brush with the dark side cave, you can tell she'd already been telling the story for a long while and he'd spent a long while listening. But again, with little finessing with all this, for those not expecting reylo the care they begin to have for each other seems really abrupt. Sorry, general audience- I wish it could have been better, too. But let's take what we can get, shall we? Kylo debases himself in front of Rey- admits he's a monster and then cries about it. I love it. Then he gives her the answer she wants in the form of advice, which was a fantastic bit of writing. After that, she inexplicably mellows out to him quite a bit and there's storytime in the stone house, the exceptionally warm lighting, as their hands achingly, hesitatingly touch- an insane amount of effortlessness in making yourself physical in a force-induced manifestation that, for Ben and Rey, resulted in the sexiest finger-touching I've ever seen, and for Luke became such a strain that it killed him. Powerful in the force are these two, indeed. I can't get over how warm that lighting was- literal love by firelight. And then….and then Rey cried it felt so good. And so did Ben. And when Rey recounts what she saw of his future in the elevator when their hands touched, she does this sweet look down at his chest before looking back with care into his face…I was feeling it so hard, man. That is a loving gesture. *I* have acted that way with someone I love. That's a tic that only belongs to lovers, not friends. What kind of 'solid' future did she see for him? With that kind of tic, it makes me wonder if she hadn't seen herself in it, too. Goddammit, ben! Get your shit together, boy!

Rey's lack of social skills, however, really fucking botched things between them, too. Surely there had to be a better way to reason with him than pulling out a goddamned saber. Bad move, sweetheart. And in one fell swoop you broke that man's heart. Everything after Rey's rejection was just bleeding-heart Kylo vomiting his emotions all over the place. I mean he was seriously torn up about it. And what about Rey running off? How come we didn't get that scene? Did she just straight-up split? Or did she stop for a moment to look at Kylo's unconscious, likely peaceful, face? I'm mad we didn't get to see it because it would have said a lot- instead once Rey rejoins the resistance, we get a TON more relationship-dodging. A TON of dodging. Because you know what? The relationship is there, man. Finn's got his gal, and Rey looks on acceptingly at this turn of events. Kylo and Rey have experienced a lot of emotional stuff together at this point- he's the only one that shares her secret about her parents. But you'd never know anything at all had happened to her at the end of the film. It's just business as usual. And that's really weird to me. That's not character growth. A bit of longing there, for what Rey almost, almost, let herself have with Kylo reflected in Finn and Rose's moment, but no- just plain old start-of-tfa Rey apparently. I mean….Rey didn't even ask him about his scar. He never brought up his scar. Was that a scene that got cut? Because how do you avoid that conversation? How do you avoid that? OH! The fight scene- and where she rolls her back onto his back to fight the red guard I WAS LIVING! It was so good, and they kept checking on each other during the fight. I loved it.

I've just been reminded of the shirtless scene- it didn't come off naturally, but I get that they're trying to establish that the bond is manifesting at 'inconvenient' moments, ok whatever. And then Rey goes and spoils the moment with more unnecessary comedy schtick which rolled off Adam beautifully- thank you, Adam. She totally checked him out, though. Maybe she was reliving that moment a little in the elevator when she looked down at his chest. Makes me wonder again just what exactly she saw in his future. I'm here for it.

Why did Rey fucking sail to the FO in a coffin? That made no sense. Although it was cute that Ben came to pick her up like "Hi." but then "Here are some shackles. Sorrynotsorry." I love how she was clearly expecting something else but NOPE.

Also, Rey really does come from nothing, although I don't fucking know how her parents can be in a potter's field in Jakku when Rey last saw them sail off into space. Sounds like hasty writing after being fed up with fans to me. Although Adam rattled it all off beautifully. And I love how Ben loves her regardless of it all. I loved the whole "You knew this the whole time so who cares because I don't? PS: come be my empress, it'll be great." Adam did so well in this film, but I can't help but think, like every fucking thing else, that his screen time was radically choked and that there's TONS more on the cutting room floor that give his acting more of the credit it's due and that flesh out so many more things to help them make more sense. Ugh.

In conclusion. I liked it. I cried when Leia's old holo projection played. I cried like a bitch. But I didn't leave the film feeling like my mind was blown like it'd been with TFA. I don't know if it's because I just felt overwhelmed in more of a bad way than good due to how busy everything was or if it's because I've been analyzing stuff for two years. It's probably a bit of both. Because I avoided the spoilers like the plague, you know? So everything was still new and a surprise, and while I think the film was a total trip that I'd recommend, TFA just felt cleaner, more impactful, and left enough space for all its characters to fully realize themselves instead of the cram-fest that this movie is. And most importantly, TLJ didn't leave enough space for John Williams to create any stand-out moments like in TFA- "The Starkiller" is a piece that gave me fucking goosebumps and that, to this day, will be one of my favorite moments in movie history. To choose a quiet dirge piece for a moment of bloody chaos was absolutely brilliant and shook me to the core, but there was no time for a moment like that in this film and that really bums me out. I was hoping for another moving experience like that.

Reylo's a thing now, but the kids have a lot of work to do on their relationship, because Kylo's in full spurned-lover mode and he's not handling it well. He's now a kid who's been handed all the power in the universe, and if Rey thinks that's not going to backfire, especially with their direct phone line to each other, she's got another thing coming. She's going to have her hands full trying to talk that boy down, and any next encounter between them is going to be incredibly tense and fraught with emotion. He finally outrightly pleaded with her to be with him. And that fucking means something. And Rey's not dimwitted enough not to see that. She knows the implications. She saw his good-ending future, remember- one that, as she recalled it, her eyes drifted to his chest in a very, very affectionate move that was well played by Daisy. In fact, I was so focused on Daisy's performance in that moment that I missed Kylo's reaction so when I see the film again, I'll have to remember to focus on him next time.

And Leia….Carrie was right that 9 was supposed to be Leia's film. I mean…that ending makes it indisputable. How do you work through that? Especially with Luke copping out? Essentially my prediction for what's going to happen is this: Lots, and lots, of Ghost Uncle Luke times. It's the only option they have. Luke's gonna come back, haunt the shit out of Ben and give him terrible girl advice, and then visit Rey and try to teach her some more. It's the only option they have, really. Mark thought he was finally done, but then Carrie just had to go and die- isn't that just typical. I also love how Billie plays such a bigger role in this film. Her performance was great, too, and there were moments where she really sounded like a young Leia that had me tearing up. I love them all so much.

So that's all I got for this initial objective general review of The Last Jedi. I plan to see this film at least once more in standard 2D (my preferred mode), and also in 4DX because why would you not want to be on Star Wars: The Ride for 2.5 hours? It's worth the ticket price. Plus seeing these films in 3D adds a whole new perspective to things, I discovered after seeing 3D TFA. So I'm open to that, too. I had a lot of technical complaints with this film, but otherwise I like the direction it went in, it was a direction I anticipated (minus snoke being wasted as a character- that still sucks), and I'd say as a shipper we got a good 75% of what we wanted. As a shipper, I'd say full steam ahead for the good boat Reylo and I look forward to a hopefully grittier, more distraught atmosphere to really bring shit home in 9. JJ Abrams gave us a very, very solid, coherent story for 7, and I look forward to having that back again for the grand finale. These characters deserve coherency. I love Rian, but he tried to cram too much in too small a space and lot really suffered for it- this was a problem Rogue One had that I hoped wouldn't repeat itself, but here we are. But even Rogue One navigated its complicated story better than TLJ did, I think. I don't know. Again, I need to see this film a few more times before I can really throw the gavel down. But now that this objective review is out, I'm happy to go back to putting my shipper glasses on and appreciating what we do have: Hot hand touches, shirtless Ben Solo, Rey saying 'Ben', Ben saying 'Rey', both of them crying over each other, both of them ogling each other, and the category of Emperor Ren fiction absolutely fucking exploding (and laughing maniacally that my own 'Exigence in force majeure' is now fucking canon-compliant can you believe this shit what is life).

Ok- enjoy the film, friends! TATFS out. PS: Oh yeah, haha, the jedi books were saved- ok. Also, I would love to get my hands on a director’s cut and all the deleted scenes so that I could try my hand at cutting my own version of this film- eliminate or better time 90% of the comedic bits and create a film that’s really darkly compelling and profound. Ok, I’m really gone this time bye.