#i. threads ‚ the gods tell us there are no salves for the soul. we never stop trying to find one.

[evergreeneone]

  By:  Jana Greene

Finally, I’m beginning the series about the Beatitudes, and exploring the differences between experiencing happiness and living in the state of Blessedness.

One is what you feel, the other is a state in which you live.

I’d like to share with you what God has revealed to me through the Beatitudes – one single item at a time.

For the next 8 days, it’s my goal to post a piece every night at 6:30 p.m. Texts will be taken from The Message translation of the Bible, unless otherwise noted. The Beatitudes can be found in Matthew 5.

Today’s Beatitude is “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (NIV)

I’m no expert on this subject – no theologian. I only know what each of the Beatitudes has looked like in real time, as it ever-reveals itself to me. And now – hopefully for you.

Are you in a place where the Biblical Beatitudes seem like shallow platitudes?

Are you flummoxed by some of the language used by Jesus, as He explains who qualifies as “blessed.”

Does it seem like He is speaking in riddles all throughout the Beatitudes? At times, even His own followers implored him to use simple words!

It sometimes seemed like that to me, too. But as I go slowly, (oh. So. Slowly.) Through Seminary and personal study, I am learning that many of the original texts were written in Greek – a language with so many more nuances than King James ever dreamed of. Much is lost in translation.

“When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him.  Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said: – Matthew 5:1

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

When I read this passage, I am not thinking joy. I am not thinking shallow happiness.

I am not thinking, ‘Hooboy! I wish I were at the very end of my rope so I could feel BLESSED!’

It sounds counter-intuitive to everything we’ve learned about the way life works, because it is the complete opposite of this world’s workings.

Nobody ever wishes to be hanging on by a thread,  because it’s so uncomfortable to our Spirits to be in that place. People who thank God in the midst of trouble FOR the trouble must be higher evolved spiritually than myself, because truthfully, I don’t really want anything to do with that ‘rope’ at all.

Especially the ‘end’ of it.

If I’m honest, I also really don’t want to identify as ‘poor.’

You see, in the study of the NIV translation, “poor in spirit” is the term used to assure you that you are blessed. “Are you in Spiritual poverty?” Jesus asks. “Well, come on down! Come sit by me and be Blessed.”

Not blessed later.

Blessed in the midst of Spiritual Poverty.

What does that mean anyway, spiritual poverty? For me, it means staying a desperate beggar for more of God. It means knowing you are not in charge, and being thankful that you aren’t.

Yes, we are children of the Most High God, and yes, He lives IN us. Holy Spirit is already here with and in us. I know that there are rabid opinions about this issue (are we Royals and should operate as such, and that we are beggars no more) but truthfully, I am okay with being a beggar.

I never want to lose that primal desperation to have a deeper relationship with Christ. I never want to lose that worshipful desperation. And I’m not going to apologize for that.

Every single day, I can come to God anew and ask him for help with maintaining my rusty, 17-year old recovery, for example. Even though I know He is ‘in da house’ – the Kingdom of God is within us – I invite Him to deeper as a salve for my mind.

My heart knows “It is Finished” and He already lives in me. But sometimes my mind gets awfully forgetful.

There I meet my inner Beggar – sometimes at the end of her rope – desperate as always for the comfort of Jesus. And in doing so, become poor in spirit – in need of ever more intimate relationship with the One who Blesses.

It’s the place where you tell Jesus “Hey, I got NUTHIN’ here, Brother.”

It’s the place where you cannot see any possible way out.

It’s the place where Jesus shows up – invited or not – hallelujah!

When you are at the end of your rope, and feeling like your Spirit is impoverished, there is no self-promotion. There is no energy to fix and do and manipulate. On the contrary. The “I decrease so that you increase, God” modus operandi comes into play so fully that the Father is bound by duty to rescue us.

Who else among my readers has been at the end of their proverbial rope? Are you there now? Are you poor of Spirit, feeling like you have no well to draw from and nothing to pull from to bless others?

You are BLESSED, Kiddo! Right here. Right now.

Rope can be used to hang us. But it can also be used to lift us up out of our poverty of mind and soul. And even though the end of a rope sounds pretty ominous, what will you meet if your hands get tired and slip off of the lifeline? Trust that your feet are only inches from the palm of the father’s hand. He will catch you, guaranteed.

We get blessed when we decrease, and He increases.

We get blessed when, having nothing at all to give in spiritual poverty, He gives all, pouring it into us to overflowing.

Tomorrow, I will be writing about the second Beatitude, and it’s a DOOZY. Bring tissues!

Here is the verse:  “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”

Thank you for your readership, friends. I’ll post the next segment tomorrow.

God bless us, every one.

Blessed are the Poor in Spirit (Part I Beatitude Series) By:  Jana Greene Finally, I’m beginning the series about the Beatitudes, and exploring the differences between experiencing happiness and living in the state of Blessedness.

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    WORTHFULS AS ALICE BINGLEY.

❛   are you chilly?    ❜      concern sweeps without hesitation from between his lips,     palms flat as they fall against her arms,    engulfing the goose - bumps starting to form with their expanse.     worry is a sickness that blooms unfailingly in his stomach,     the concern writing poetry in his brow as he looks to @worthfuls and wonders about a failure inherent to his creation.    his own jacket is pulled off before the thought has even formed.          ❛   here,    take this.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    DIGNITAES AS JO WILSON.

❛   i have a bottle of eggnog.  ❜      he smiles over in a way he hopes is appealing,    a delicacy to the way his cheeks turn upwards as he looks across to where @dignitaes is standing.     he needs to forget about the nightmare shifts that have been happening.        ❛   lets drown our sorrows with festive flair.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL    ( ... )     FEATURING:    ROTTEDOLL AS LOU NELSON.

❛   just stay at my place over christmas.    ❜      like it’s the simplest offer in the world,    delivered with little more thought than what @rottedoll needs and what he has access too,    a smile adorning his cheeks as he looks to her.         ❛   i’m working anyway,    and that way you have a better kitchen to make your food than the one where you are.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL    ( ... )     FEATURING:    LTDICE AS CARMEN CARDOZA.

❛   okay i have one...    what do santa’s little helpers learn at school?   ❜      there’s a sunlight joy on his expression,    taking over the expanse of his cheeks as he looks with expectation across to @ltdice,    waits for a long enough pause to answer with...         ❛   the elf-abet!   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    BATFALL AS BRUCE WAYNE.

❛   so can you like...     take a break?   ❜      his expression remains open even as tone wraps delicately around the words he’s saying,    a pointed look levelled out to @batfall.     there’s a familiarity in patterns,    a way they feel like longing as they build up within him.         ❛   you know...     come look at christmas lights with me or something?   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    FATERUN AS STEFAN WALSH.

❛   the weathers turning.  ❜      it always would,    but they’ve been heading north so long that the thought carries a threat with it,   and hands keep getting stiffer with the change,    and he can’t say everyone they’re with will be able to stand it.     attention turns to @faterun when he speaks,    expectation heavy.          ❛   we need to find somewhere to last it out.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    MUSECRAFT AS MARGAERY TYRELL.

❛   more than 22 million tons of salt are used on roads in the u.s. in winter.   ❜      it never seems to snow in la,    and sometimes he finds himself missing it,     gets that strange urge building in his chest to travel and see more of the world.    he always misses the snow,    maybe @musecraft gets that too.          ❛   doesn’t stop people driving like idiots though.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    DINOPUNCHING AS CAROL DANVERS.

❛   at least it’s not snowing.    ❜      he’s trying to think of something to say,    trying to bridge the gap and offer out something of almost use to the situation,    trying to ignore the fact that @dinopunching is currently in a conversation with him.     and he’s landed on snow,     trying not to spill every single one of his numerous questions out.          ❛   the others who have worked in places with snow say it makes the rescues weird.   ❜

[firebucks]

WINTER THEMED STARTER CALL   ( ... )     FEATURING:    BEJONES AS ALICE BINGLEY.

❛   love actually is up there.    ❜      there’s a warmth to the words falling,    a cinnamon - sugar tone that has wrapped around his voice,    falls out almost silken into the apartment.    it’s been almost fourteen minutes of choosing,    a debate they’re both stuck in now it’s got going,     wrapped up under the warmth of blankets.     the truth is,    he would have watched whatever @bejones wanted,    but he won’t admit that now.        ❛   it has to be one of the best christmas films of all times.    ❜  

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING:       CEREMONIALLY AS EDMUNDO ‘EDDIE’ DIAZ.   DETAILS INCLUDE:     POST 6x02 PLOTTED STARTER.

the morning drags.   he gets home and can’t face the expression in the mirror,   hangs a towel over it so he doesn’t have to look at himself,    doesn’t have to see his own feelings staring back at him.    there’s an emptiness about sitting there at the kitchen counter,    avoiding the one lone armchair and trying not to sink too far into it,    tiredness wrecking through his body until he finds himself trembling.    the secret to happiness,   the only thing he wants,   seems too far from his body,    and now it’s taken another knock back. 

he almost doesn’t go to the knock at the door,   almost hides out and doesn’t allow anything in,   but something pulls his feet forward,    like gravity.    and then he opens it and @ceremonially​ is standing there,   like he knew buck had ended up spiralling,    wanted to pull him back from the brink.       "  — eddie?    did i forget something at work?  "

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING:       CEREMONIALLY AS ROBERT ‘BOBBY’ NASH.   DETAILS INCLUDE:    FACT TIME WITH MR BUCKLEY.

   "  —

             you know? when they made the original stage version of this film, toto was a cow named imogene.  "       maybe @ceremonially​ won’t regret picking the wizard of oz for the teams film night.

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING:       GUNBASH AS SEBASTIAN MORAN.   DETAILS INCLUDE:      FACT TIME WITH MR BUCKLEY.

   "  —

             you’d think it was the other way,    but hot water actually freezes faster than cold water.   they’re still trying to learn why,   call it the mpemba effect.  "       he’s really not sure what @gunbash​ said that got them to that line of conversation.

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING:       DISPATCHR AS TABITHA ‘TABBY’ SHAYE.   DETAILS INCLUDE:      FACT TIME WITH MR BUCKLEY.

     "  —

             did you know that most wasabi we eat in the u.s. isn’t actually wasabi?    they mix white horseradish with mustard seeds and green food dye,    apparently it’s cheaper.  "       an apologetic smile.    he doesn’t mean to be ruining dinner for @dispatchr​. 

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING:       XENOVAIR AS SIERRA XENOVAIR.   DETAILS INCLUDE:      RANDOM DIALOGUE STARTER PROMPTS.      "  YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE?  "

words punctuate a strange,    clipped silence,    drawing a laughter to his lips that serves to diffuse tension,    breaths sucked in around that give - away the strain in the throats of everyone around.    there’s something of sunlight that glimmers in his bones,    ichor dipped and blooming,   holding a fire that hasn’t been quenched,   that still burns through him as if he contains the universe.     the call had slipped far beyond crabbiness,    hours folding in to one another as the building manager picked fault with everything done,   every choice made as if a fire burning was his expertise and not theirs.    buck’s taken the brunt of it,    watched bobby’s warning gazes and tried to swallow back the burning need to prove himself and not say anything ...    which may have made @xenovair​ his mouthpiece. 

"  —  and give bobby that much paperwork?  "       he’s been working on impulse control.   fingers play with the straps on the harness still strapped to him,   trying to keep finding the light from a moment before,    not get locked in his own head wondering if there was something else he could have done.      "   come on, sooner we get cleared the sooner he becomes someone else’s issue.  "

[firebucks]

911 ,    WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY ?         INCIDENT LOG INVOLVING :      DISPATCHR AS TABITHA ‘TABBY’ SHAYE.     DETAILS INCLUDE:      RANDOM DIALOGUE STATER PROMPTS:      "  DID YOU WANT TO BE ALONE ?  "

his are aching bones,    forced upon by a weight he knows now,    can name for the way it has pressed upon him since the first breath.    he,   unwanted;    discarded parts meant to be used for another,    but when that other is gone then what left but the parts now ripped from his body,    an empty stare that finds him wanting.    he cannot know now if it is salvation or the knife that he knows the truth,    that it now lingers within ossein and all thoughts,    all longings,    have a reason pressed upon them?    he thinks now that his was a home burning,   ghosts trapped inside and he cannot know how to escape the maze of haunting when it has pressed itself so close to his skin.    and he is lost,    unanchored in a strange state where he knows and unknows himself,    where he is everything he built from the ashes and something new and entirely shapeless.     this darkness comes with candles,    and there in the middle is @dispatchr​,   a sugar - sweet voice and palm reached out and he wants to crumble into her waiting arms,    but he cannot be sure that she will wish to hold this hurt with him.    how can he expect her to want him when others have not?

" ��� no, it’s okay. "      the moon is soft on his skin and it wraps cosmic shades around her and he thinks she is something holy,    some kind of saint meant for more than sinners like him.    he would love her like worship.        " you can stay, if you’d like that? i — i want you to stay. "