#i've wanted to be an ornithologist for four years now.

[rockunderriver]

what a joy how we have watched ourselves change and grow up.

i remember how my friends text me late at night, "i just found..." i find old pictures captioned "player one" and suddenly winter break feels lonely without them. there was a summer me and him stopped talking, and we came back different people. to me, he seemed happier. to him, "you've changed."

there are great halls in my head painted with murals of the people i love. historic monuments are dedicated to everything they have ever done for me. oil-painted birds soar the ceiling and perch on oil-painted branches, their calls bouncing off the marble dome vault. i recognize the sounds and call their names back to them as i pass. behind me i close the door on a boy who loves trees and ahead i see an empty chamber, its walls blank canvas.

my brush is light in my hand and i begin to paint my new favorite bird—a bearded vulture.

welcome to the world, atlas!