#i've trained myself for a long time to try and be head forward but in my truest self i am heart forward

[madamescarlette]

back from the movie and my very coherent thoughts on the subject are that I think Taylor is the everywoman's woman and that's at the heart of her enduring space in my heart.

[mcflymemes]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST *  assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.

i love you. it's ruining my life.

does it feel all right to not know me?

i am who i am 'cause you trained me.

quick. tell me something awful.

i loved you the way that you were.

we were just kids, babe.

i can fix him.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

you said i'm the love of your life.

way up there, i actually love it.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

do you hate me?

did you think i had it in me?

what if i told you i'm back?

i still miss the smoke.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

you look like stevie nicks.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i still can't believe it.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

didn't you hear? they called it all off.

it's happening again.

my friends say it isn't right to be scared.

i might just die.

fuck you if i can't have us.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

no one's ever had me... not like you.

stay away from her.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

i don't think you've changed much.

that's where i was when i lost it all.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

i hoped you'd return.

do you believe me now?

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

what are the chances you'd be downtown?

is it something i did?

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.

the story isn't mine anymore.

what a charming saturday!

none of it is changing.

wild winds are death to the candle.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

i didn't want to come down.

everything had been above board.

blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

the professor said to write what you know.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

i built a legacy which you can't undo.

who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?

the effects were temporary.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

you're a professional.

long may you reign.

you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

only the gentle survived.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

are you still a mind reader?

let it once be me.

i haven't decided yet.

i still dream of him.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

it was always the same searing pain.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

she used to say she wished that you were dead.

tell me all your secrets.

they tried to warn you about me.

you're in terrible danger.

i'm the life you chose.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

no one asks any questions here.

tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.

i'm running back home to you.

you should see your faces.

you knew the price going in.

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

i don't ever want you back.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

am i allowed to cry?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.

they're going to crucify me anyway.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

[lucy90712]

Not enough- Jude Bellingham

Dating a footballer is fun until he becomes incredibly successful and all of a sudden there are rumours left and right of him dating someone that isn't you. That's what my life is like Jude and I got together 3 years ago now when we were 17 and have been together since but we never made our relationship public because until the summer we were still long distance and didn't want the extra pressure. Having our relationship private has been so nice as it has meant when we do see each other we get to just enjoy being together but it also means we have to deal with rumours of who Jude might be dating. Those rumours never really got to me while Jude was at dortmund but since he's moved to Madrid things have just got so much more intense it seems that every few weeks there is a million new articles and tweets. 

Having to read all of this and seeing how pretty all the girls has really started to get to me. All the girls Jude is rumoured to be with are either models or just incredibly pretty which makes me feel awful about myself. All these girls have made a name for themselves in some way yet here I am with my job in a cafe while I try and find a job in the area that I studied. Jude likes to tell me that he doesn't care what I do for a living or how much I make but I can't help but feel guilty when I can't contribute much to the house or get him expensive things like he does for me. I'm also definitely no model I'm definitely not as pretty or as skinny as a model which I used to be ok with but now I don't feel so confident in myself. The other wags are also so pretty I definitely don't fit in with them either which makes me feel even worse about myself. 

Jude doesn't seem to have any clue that this is all going on he wakes up goes to training then hangs out with the boys leaving me until late at night so he doesn't see all the rumours or how they affect me. He's not here for the time I spend scrolling through social media or looking in the mirror judging everything about myself. Even when Jude is home he always seems to have something else on his mind so he never really gives me compliments anymore. I'd like to think that he still loves me but at this point I'm really not sure I mean he's young and he's attractive why would he want to be tied down with someone like me he can do so much better. I simply don't think I'm enough for him. 

A few days ago Jude went out to celebrate a big win for the team while I stayed at home but the next morning all I could see was rumours that Jude was flirting with multiple girls all night letting them dance with him and since I haven't really spoken to him. I spent all of last night laying awake thinking about everything and I decided that I just think I need to break up with Jude so then he's free to do all the things everyone thinks he's doing anyway. It's hard to decide to end a relationship especially one that has been going on for so long and one you are so fond of but I don't see any other way forward. This is why I've been so distant with Jude because in my head if I didn't talk to him that would make all of this easier. 

As always Jude left for training just as I got up for work but by the time I got back he was home which only happened the first few weeks I arrived so it was strange to see him here. Like always I headed upstairs to shower and change and when I came back out the bathroom Jude was sat on the bed waiting for me. I still didn't say anything to him because I'm trying to stay strong until I find the right time to tell Jude how I feel. 

"Babe are you ok you've barely spoken to me the last few days" he said 

"Yeah I'm fine just been busy had a lot on my mind that's all" I replied 

"Please don't lie to me I know there's something more going on I see the way you look all the time I just couldn't figure out what was wrong and now I give up so please tell me what's going on" he begged 

"I didn't want to say this yet because I'm still figuring things out but I think we should break up I just can't do this anymore" I said 

"Please no baby no I can't live without you whatever I've done I can fix it and I'm sorry just please don't break up with me" he said 

"It's nothing you've done it's just me" I said 

"Then what is it please tell me if you really want to do this at least tell me why" he said 

"I'm just not good enough for you every day there is new rumours of you being with someone else and all of them are prettier and have more going for them than I do and you deserve to be with one of them or to just be free to do what you want" I explained 

"But I want you that's what I want I don't want any of these girls nor is there anything going on with any other girl incase that's what you're thinking I like that you live a more normal life you keep me grounded and I think you are the prettiest girl in the world" Jude replied 

"Then why are you never home and why do you never compliment me anymore?" I asked 

"I-I'm sorry babe you're right I haven't been home much but I will change that I will come home after training and I will invite you to more things and believe me I could sit here for hours and compliment you and I'll do that if I need to" he said 

Jude did exactly what he said he started listing all the things he loves about me while giving me kisses. It felt so good to have his attention again it felt like we were back to how we were before I came to Madrid. After he complimented every single part of me he asked if I'd like to go out on a date like a proper date outside where people could see us and I didn't hesitate to say yes. Even if people see us who cares it's about time that we went public with our relationship then the rumours can be true for once. We have talked about going public a few times but now feels like the right time just so we can stop the media getting too far out of control 

I got all dressed up in a pretty dress and my makeup and hair all done for once I actually felt really pretty. When Jude walked in he had a white shirt and some black trousers on which he looked so good in. He stopped as soon as he saw me and I think his jaw actually hit the floor which made me blush and that was before he started complimenting me. The entire drive Jude didn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked which honestly made me feel so good about myself. 

At the restaurant there was people taking pictures of us walking in which Jude tried to protect me from a bit but we wanted to be seen together. It was weird being in front of so many cameras as I've spent years trying to avoid all of this but now I'm happily letting them all take pictures and stare at me trying to work out who I am so they can get their exclusive headline. The people in the restaurant were lovely though they showed us to our table then left us alone as much as possible which was nice as we were able to have a proper date night together. As we finished dessert Jude showed me all the pictures all over Instagram and Twitter then he showed me a post he had drafted to tell everyone about our relationship and put an end to everything. He had a beautiful caption written which nearly made me cry and all the pictures he had I hadn't seen before as they were ones he took secretly but they were all so cute. He let me click post so that it was my decision to go public then he took my phone and turned it off so we could enjoy the rest of our evening together without having to see what everyone has to say.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Yandere Kars X Pillar woman reader who survived because she was with baby Whamu and baby Santana, protecting them.

This idea makes me go monkey brain, had to write a short on this and upload at nearly 2am.

Defy nature

(Yandere Kars X Female pillar woman reader)

You frantically shushed the crying baby in your arms as you cradled him in an attempt to quell him.

“Please stop crying or they'll find us” you quietly pleaded. Not wanting to draw the attention of Kars and Esidisi. You'd already watched them mow down even the strongest of their own kind, dead set on killing everyone that opposed them. You'd been told to flee with the only two children Wammu and Saitana as everyone tried to defend against them.

You turned to the basket you were kneeling by. Saitana began to stir.

“No no no, not you too” you muttered before you heard steps approaching.

You threw your head towards the source of the sound and your blood went cold.

“(Y/n)” Kars lulled your name, covered in the blood of your own.

“you never were a fighter, always so tender my flower” he said as he took another step forward.

Tender, a word he described you with a great many times. Sickened you to think he'd been one of your paramours now that he had massacred so many.

“I won't let you kill them too!” You proclaimed as you put wammu back in the basket.

“No I don't intend to kill them, children have such impressionable minds… I shall train them to serve me” he said. Your gut churned, use children to fulfill his own sick twisted plans. You couldn't understand his thought process.

“Why? Why would you do such a thing to yourself?” You questioned.

“I wanted to carve a path for our kind, we were once revered by the humans as God. Now they are trying to kill us. Once I find a way to release our true potential we shall be the ultimate lifeforms” he explained.

“Yes that was the case before but any creature does not wish to be ruled by another, fear is a necessity for any to survive… what you intend to do is go against nature itself” you seethe, looking him straight in his eyes. He was different, frenzied with an insatiable appetite.

“What you've become now is a sick mockery of our brethren, the ones you have slayed without even a thought!” you yelled. Both babies now wailing.

“I never thought I'd see the day you'd yell” he said in an amused tone.

“I hold no manners to you, you will just kill me like everyone else” you told him.

Within the blink of an eye he was now right beside you. Holding your head in his hand.

“I couldn't,” he confessed.

“In truth I always felt a burning Jealousy towards your other partners. For so long I've wanted you to myself” he continued as his free hand delicately toyed with your horn, something he knew you'd usually take great pleasure in but not now. It felt more  perverse than before with that hungry gaze, like a boa seconds before it eats its prey whole.

“And now I do” he said.

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch12

Description: sorry for the long wait guys! Work has been crazyyyy - anyway. Here it is! Lil bit of progress with Simon - I reckon it’ll be 1 step forward, 2 back for a little while. Simon and Laika are both as fucked up as each other!! It’s a long chapter to make up for the wait. Hope you enjoy!!

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

I'd been warned during dinner last night that I was going to be 'put through my paces' today. The Captain told me to get a good nights sleep. Kyle and Johnny dropped me off at my room - Kyle said goodnight with a soft kiss to my cheek, and Johnny told me not to let the bed bugs bite. He also kissed me on the cheek, but it was far too close to the corner of my mouth. He must have missed his target. I spent all night trying to brush it off.

*Johnny's POV*

The pizza had been good, Kyle was bold and kissed our little lass on the cheek. I couldn't stop myself, had to one up him.. Her little blush and awkward reaction made it worth the risk. Gaz and I practically ran back to our shared room - we needed to rest up for training tomorrow. We finally get to see what our little Lass is made of.

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

Knock Knock Knock

"Lass? Can we come in..? Y'ready for us?"

I'd just stepped out of the shower. "Uhh - two seconds.. I'm just getting changed" I shout back through the door. I rush to pull on some workout shorts and a black sports bra. I glance at myself in the mirror. I swear that I already look healthier - I'd gone sort of gaunt during my time at the facility. My skin looks brighter, I'm cleaner and relaxed... and happier.

"I'm dressed but still need to braid my hair.." As soon as the words have left my mouth, Johnny barrels into the room, followed closely by Kyle. "Mornin', Lass" - "Hi Johnny" I reply, softly. Kyle puts his arm around my shoulders and smiles brightly at me "ready for today? Cap's in charge of what we're doing.. just need to see where we are at with you.. apparently there's shit going down in Mexico so we might need to step in over there... Just before Christmas too.." he sighs sadly.

I furrow my brows - "Christmas? I thought it was October??" - "Ignore him, Lass, he is one of them crazy people who wants to put the tree up straight after Halloween".

I look at Kyle and giggle. "I thought it was winter when you first found me" - "It's always winter in Russia to be fair" Kyle jokes back. "Yeah but you can't go confusing me like that.. I've not been aware of seasons or dates for years, I was just starting to grasp it again.. so no Christmas stuff until December...?" I explain, feeling more and more relaxed around the two younger Alphas everyday. "You promise to be here for Christmas, then?" Johnny bargains. There's that sad flip in my stomach again. "I - I don't know where I'll be, Johnny.. I don't think I am in control of that decision".

"We'll not let you leave.." Kyle jokes "Aye, hide you away from the others" Johnny continues, nudging Kyle. They both laugh but I just shake my head.

We are interrupted by the Captain who stands in the open door, not stepping inside. "Laika, didn't I tell you that those two shouldn't just let themselves into your room like this...?" - "I - I let them in, Cap- Sorry- John" he huffs a laugh "If you say so. Put your trainers on and let's get to the gym before the basics turn up for the day. Ghost's there already". he grumbles, rolling his eyes at the possibility of basic training turning up mid-session.

"You don't have to worry if the rookies turn up, Lass. They're a bunch of prats, think they're all Billy big baws and like to throw their scents around and show off.. if any of them bother you, we'll sort 'em out" I look at Johnny and nod with furrowed brows. I was nervous.

The Lieutenant is loitering menacingly at the sparring mats when we all arrive at the gym. "Took your fuckin' time" he grunts. I try not to react but I can't help the guilt that washes over me. "Laika, on the mat" he jerks his head toward the mat. I obey and step onto the mat, ringing my hands together nervously, chewing the skin inside of my cheek. "Gaz, I want you to go through basic sparring movements, see what she's made of" the Luitennant orders. Kyle looks between the masked Alpha and myself with unsure eyes. "Are you sure..?" I look up at him nodding "I'll be ok.. orders are orders" I reassure myself, trying to slip back behind my own mask. Trying desperately to become the asset again. Unfeeling, cold and calculated.

My eyes start to take in Kyle's movements, analysing when and how he will move. He is the leanest of the pack of Alpha's, meaning he is probably the fastest. But I'm smaller and, hopefully, smarter. He steps, hesitantly onto the mat and raises his arms into a defensive position. "Gaz, for fuck sake, move!" the Lieutenant barks "She ain't going to throw the first punch!" Something inside of me screams 'NOW'.

I leap forward and slide to the ground taking Kyle's legs out from under him before he has the chance to react. He was too busy concentrating on the upper half of his body.

Kyle falls backwards and lands just beside me, so I scramble to get nearer, using my legs to restrain his arms and placing my forearm over his throat firmly so he couldn't move. I meet his eye, and he looks completely shocked. Then a slow smirk starts to form on his face. He reaches up and taps twice on my back. Impressive, lovie" he chuckles. I release him and clamber away from his body, which is still laying flat on the mat, I start apologising over and over again..

"Soap.. your turn. Try not to get distracted like Garrick did, this is all pointless if you go easy on her.." Ghost barks. I look at Johnny with sad eyes. "C'mon, lass.. you heard the man. Lets have a proper tussle" he wiggles his eyebrows. My body betrays me, as it so often does, falling victim to Johnny's flirtatious comments. I blush and look away. This time Johnny is on me as quickly as I look away. I'm the one caught off guard this time. SHIT.

He gets us both to the ground and I can tell he is attempting to use his weight advantage against me. He just wants to get me pinned which will win him the match. I realise that I need to get back to my feet, and fast. I allow him to roll me far too easily which gives me the momentum to push away from him. I knee toward his crotch while we roll and manage to catch him lightly, just enough for him to curl in on himself slightly, giving me a small enough window to climb back to my feet.

He tries to get up quickly but he is on his knees. I grab his neck and use all of my body weight to pull him to the floor, practically wrapped around his torso like some sort of demented koala bear. He chokes slightly and taps twice on my upper arm, which is currently holding his neck in a headlock. I immediately let go, "Sorry.. I'm sorry. I hate this..." I panic, thinking that I'd pissed him off. "Lass, nothin' to be sorry for. You're a feral little madam on the mats.." He brushes his legs off and grabs me around the shoulders, pulling me towards his chest. He presses a quick kiss to my hair and pushes me gently back towards the mat, not before whispering in my ear "Clever little Lass".

"Not bad" Ghost says. "Tell me what you think of knives.." - "the winner of a knife fight is whoever dies second, or finds help quickly enough to survive. No one stays clean in a knife fight.." I murmur. The luitennant tilts his head and narrows his eyes at me. It's difficult to read his thoughts when he has the mask on, but what I'd said obviously struck a nerve with him. "Show me what you mean by that - here.." he hands me a dummy knife and steps toward the mat behind me..

"Wi-with you..?" I ask nervously. "Problem?" he grunts back at me. I shake my head.

He stands there with confidence. I must look ridiculous. I don't know what to do. The lieutenant suddenly takes a wide swipe with the knife, it narrowly misses my stomach thanks to my quick survival instincts telling my body to jump backwards. I suddenly snap back into the 'asset' mindset. I leap forward and aim for his head. His eyes, to be specific. I see a flash of surprise cross his eyes before he slams the knife from my hand, pain shoots up my entire arm but I ignore it. I react by kicking his outstretched arm so that he is also knife-less. I then leap at him and try to clamber up his back. He grabs me by the shoulder and slams me hard on the ground winding me. I slide backwards, terrified at the behemoth of an Alpha towering over me. I whimper, scared trying to get away, still winded and pain still shooting up my arm.

"Stop. STOP" he bellows. I whimper again, confused and terrified. I can see a storm brewing behind the masked Alpha's eyes. "GAZ - get her up, for fuck sake.." the Lieutenant storms away from the gym, the Captain following closely behind him. My eyes don't leave his form until the gym doors swing shut and Kyle and Johnny are cooing at me, trying to calm me down.

*GHOSTS POV*

FUCK, she's not a trained soldier by any stretch. But Christ, she goes into a desperate survival mode. Kill or be killed is the only description I can think of. Watching how she sparred with Kyle and Johnny, she was scared. Acting out of fear, and fear alone.

I wanted to see her knife skills - I don't know why I decided I should spar with her. She suddenly switched. That look in her eyes. She was feral. She was genuinely trying to hurt me. She had no differentiation between training and real fighting. It was all real to her. Kill or be killed - and she thought I was trying to kill her... She thinks I'm a monster.

I try to stop her by disarming her, I know my thumping blow to her arm must have hurt. It had to, but she barely even flinched. She was in survival mode. She caught me off guard and disarmed me. Clever girl, leveling the playing field - if this was a real fight that is - but I was trying to halt the fight. She needed to cool off before she went even more feral.

I was NOT expecting her to leap at my back and try to choke me. It left me with only one option - to flip her and get her flat on the ground. It worked for a couple of seconds. She paused, the look in her eye no longer murderous. But within a split second, she stunk of pure fear. Like she was staring at death himself. Me. I try to step forward with a hand out to show that I was no longer armed but she backed away, eyes flashing like a cornered dog.

SHIT. Why'd my stomach do that. I'm trying to help her and she's fuckin' terrified of me. Fuckin' hurt her too.

"Stop" I try. It doesn't work. "STOP" fuck Simon, why can't you be fuckin' gentle for once?! Brute - my brain shouts at me.

"Gaz - get her up, for fuck sake.." I shout. She looks helpless but, fuck, I feel helpless as well. I've never felt like this.

The sharp, sour smell of her fear. It makes my eyes water. Makes me want to fuckin' hurl. I turn and leave, not feeling well all of a sudden.

She has two Alpha's she actually likes to help her. Fuck, I hope she isn't hurt.. I don't deserve nice things. My Pack are probably going to drop me now. The fucking brute that you are Simon Riley.

The anger at my own stupidity boils over. I'd almost made it back to the Pack room but my fist meets the wall before I get there. I roar, angrily - or did it sound more broken than that? FUCK. Then I smell Price. He is fuckin' seething. I can already smell him.

I slam the door to the shared room and slide down the wall, grabbing angrily at my mask. I rip it from my face. "ARGRGHHHHHH" I roar again. I grab fistfuls of my hair. Fuckin' prick.

I hear the door close and then a presence sit beside me. It's Price.

"What the bloody hell happened back there Simon?" he growls. I can tell he is holding back his rage.

"She was feral" I grunt. I didn't know what else to say..

"And why was that..? Why did you let it get to that stage..?" he asks. Fuck sake, he is treating me like a fuckin' child.

"Wasn't just me. The girl doesn't know the difference between practice and survival.. She was fighting for her fuckin' life" I growl, pulling at my hair.

I feel his hands pry mine away from my head. "Simon. C'mon. Look at me.." - "Alpha - I need some time..." I break slightly.

"Time for what, Simon?" - "Time to think. I don't understand what is happening.. I can't stand the girl. I can't be near her"

John stays silent beside me, knowing that I needed to find my own way out from this maze.

"But.. but when she had that look in her eye, I needed to protect her. Protect her from me.. It's either me or her, Cap. I can't be near her. I'll kill her".

A warm hand grips my shoulder and squeezes. "Simon. You are too hard on yourself. You are the glue that often holds this pack together. Laika is finding her place in a new world. You've been in a similar position. I have a feeling you two are more alike than you think. Please, give it time. I'm not throwing you out of the pack, Simon. I'm not even angry at you. Never doubt your place or importance here, Simon - Never. Is that understood?"

My eyes furrow. I grab my mask and pull it back over my face. "Yes, sir. Understood" - "good, now come. The boys will have calmed Laika down by now" - "I hurt her" I interrupt. "You didn't mean to. I know you were trying to stop the fight. I saw it" - "she will need the medic.. I hit her hard. Can't do anything gentle. Fuckin' brute" - "Simon.. you did what you had to... she was going feral. C'mon, no more sparring. We will move onto target practice and finish with a five kilometer run - together. That'll be enough to fill in her file. We can make up the rest. She is on the team, I don't care about all of the tests".

I can feel my head clearing, the pack Alpha had successfully dragged me from a dark spiral. My panic attacks were not pretty. I get back to my feet when he offers me a hand to help hoist me up. "Sorry.." - "No Simon, save your apologies. Small steps, yeah? Let's work on chipping away at that wall you put up around Laika first. The boys adore her already.." - "I know. Johnny reeks of her at night time. Felt like I was wakin' up next to a fuckin' Omega this morning" - "Simon, she hasn't presented. I had her tested - results aren't back till next.." - "John - she is a fuckin' Omega. Stunk of honey and oranges since the first time I saw her tied up against the wall when Johnny found her. Can't you smell her..?"

"Faintly. The doctors said her scent will settle once the drugs leave her system. But her scent - it's barely there, Simon. She smells more like Johnny and Kyle right now" he shakes his head at me as if he doesn't believe me. "That's impossible.." - "I'll talk to the doctors tomorrow, Simon. We've got to get through today. I've got Kate on at me about Mexico - we will need to decide what to do about that - so the sooner she is cleared to work with us, the better, understood?" - "Yes, sir" - "Right, screw your head back on and come with me. I'll take the lead for the rest of the day. You sit back with Johnny and cool yourself off, ok?" -

“Affirmative”

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

Kyle and Johnny saw what happened. They saw me trying to kill their pack mate. "I'm sorry - I don't - I don't know what happened.. I'm.." - "Shhh Love, hey, look at us - you need to look at us. We aren't angry at you. The Captain is with Simon, he will be ok. We need to check your back and your arm. You got hit pretty hard.." Kyle explains, stroking my cheek.

"Aye, Lass, c'mon, let us have a wee look, just want to make sure you're ok.." - "I'm fine.. I'm ok.." - "You sure..?" - "Yeah, promise" I assure them, even though I am feeling the aches from Ghost's hits. I jump slightly when the gym doors crash open. It's them. The Captain and Lieutenant. Ghost stops about 10 yards from the rest of us. I try not to look toward him, still feeling nervous. I see the Captain nod Johnny in Ghost's direction and Johnny immediately walks toward the massive Alpha and comforts him.

The Captain steps closer to me. "You're ok to continue? Not hurt?" - "No, Captain" I pretend. "Ok, we are going to the shooting range.. boys, lead the way" He directs toward Johnny and Ghost. They both turn and lead us to the shooting range. It's a huge open field. Targets and metal human-shaped silhouettes peaking out from behind pretend trenches and sand bag walls.

There are a couple of sergeants already shooting when we arrive. I get handed a set of ear protectors from John. He then walks me to a locked metal shed and explains that this is one of the gun-stores on the base.

"You said you were a sniper?" _ "Yes" - "What'd you use..?" - "Uhm.. A gun..?" - "You don't know what model of rifle?" - "Oh.. sorry.. no - I just used what they gave me, just happened to be quite good" I admit shyly. He huffs a small laugh and then grabs a large case and lays it gently on the ground, opening the top to reveal a huge, dark green rifle.

"This is an Accuracy International rifle.. we've used them for a long while now, best you'll get. We can alter sights and scopes to suit you. They're quite lightweight compared to other manufacturers. In all, it's probably seven kilos - give it a try and see what you think, Love". I stare at the piece of metal as if it would jump out and attack me. "This is the L96 model.. I assume that you used a Russian SV-98 type? They're popular over there. Poor mans sniper they are, if you were good with one of them, you'll be impressive with one of these" the Captain rambles. It's all pretty pointless to be honest because I know nothing about guns. I was just thrown one by a guard and told to shoot it, and punished if I missed. You learn fast that way.

I listen to him talk anyway, enjoying the gruffness of his voice and the fact that he seemed quite interested and excited to talk about guns. I nod along as if I understand what he is saying. "Ok, Let's give it a try then, love" -he hands me the gun and stands closely behind me. "See that target over there" he points "I want you to hit that - take your time". I nod and get comfortable holding the rifle. It feels different. Foreign. I lower myself to the ground and eye up the target in the scope. I breathe in and hold my breath. One, two, click.

"Well done - slightly left but hit the target" the Captain says. I furrow my brows, confused. "Can I try again?" I ask, disappointed. He shrugs and nods. I aim again and concentrate more this time. Breathe in. Hold it. One, Two, Shoot... Fuckin' left again.. what the fuck?

"You're doin' well, Lass. Why are you pissed off. It's not like you're missing.." Johnny pipes up. I scoff at him. "It should be hitting dead center.. I don't miss, Johnny.. I can't miss like this.." I rant. "I'm trying again, I think the guns sight is off.." I get into position the same as the last two tries but this time I aim half a line further to the right of the cross hair. One, two, Click. I huff a laugh. "Got it.. I need to aim off to the right to make a clean hit. I'll get used to it.." I mumble, continuing to eye the scope and point the rifle in different directions, pretending to aim at things. "Whoa, lass. Dinnae point it at us, fuck sake" Johnny jokes as I start turning slowly towards the pack. I was totally in my own little world there.

"We can have the sight adjusted if you like?" John offers "although I doubt it's this one that's been off. I reckon the one you've learnt to shoot with is off - so you naturally drop your rest arm to allow for the difference. Have you noticed that..?" John questions. "Uhm, no.. I've only ever used that sniper rifle.. I don't really know much about guns - was just given a crash course to be honest.."

He smiles and pats the top of my head "Well you ain't half bad for just having had a crash course, love - those hits would have passed you as a sniper here anyway, yet here you are complaining that you're a couple of millimeters left of where you wanted it.." I laugh nervously and look down at my feet.

Kyle walks up beside me and removes the gun from my arms and places it gently back in its case. "Better shot than most of us, anyway.. I reckon with a bit of familiarization with the new scope, you'll out-perform LT" I immediately glance back to the ground and feel nervous, scared to feel the wrath of the Lieutenant again. I subconsciously rub my sore arm before the Captain speaks up. "I wanted to end the day with a quick five kilometer run. It'll give Laika chance to see the perimeter of the base and also good exercise for you three lazy buggers!" he jokes. Johnny clutches his chest in false offence, Kyle just laughs and walks himself over to the Captain, giving him a gentle shove. "Lazy, sir? I'm not sure about that.." I blush - was he flirting with his Alpha? I shouldn't be witnessing this. I'm not one of them.. The Captain chuckles darkly and jokingly grabs Kyle by the scruff of his neck and growls softly at him, causing the younger Alpha to groan and blush. I turn away.

Johnny just laughs along, elbowing Simon who still looks pissed off from this mornings encounter.

The gun case gets placed on the floor of the large cabinet, stood upright. The Captain goes and chats to the supervisor and takes a small paper ticket and signs something. I watch from a distance, assuming he was just signing the gun back into storage. He returns to the group and smiles "Right, get your arses in gear. Take the first km steady as the warm up, then we will see who's the fastest. Finish is back here. Full lap of the base.. no cheating, Simon". I furrow my brows again, god I do that a lot, I'm going to get a frown line if I'm not careful. The Lieutenant didn't strike me as the type to cheat on a simple jog. I shake my head and watch the others limber up and stretch. I don't join them. Just watch, confused. I only ever ran when I was forced or chased. Never for.. leisure?

"Right, Kyle - lead us off for the first few hundred meters, just to get us onto the outside loop" - "Yessir'" Kyle chirps back. He strides off quickly. I try to stay with Johnny. Simon and John jogging gently behind. I stay on Johnny's heels for a few minutes but can feel myself getting tired. He keeps looking round at me as if he is surprised I'm still that close to him. Kyle is away out in front. How does he make it look so easy?! He is barely breaking a sweat, looks like he is just floating. I guess he was the best runner of the team. Johnny runs like a man possessed. I huff a laugh, his run matches his personality. All elbows and fast movements. He looked busy but he was still fast. I glance behind to try and spot the other two Alphas.

"Dinnae' look back when you're running Lassie, you'll trip!" Johnny shouts, while running backwards. What a showoff! I scoff and roll my eyes at him before wiping the sweat from my brow. "The two big'uns are slow, lass! Too heavy to be speedy like me and Kyle.." He jokes, speeding up and slowing down. "Johnny!" I pant, struggling to talk while gasping for air "Stop showing off!" - "No, Lass - I'm impressed, you're doing well! Didn't think you'd keep up with me to be honest - Gaz ran track when he was at school, he coulda been a pro runner, fucken bullshit. He has the record on base - as if I didn't almost bust a fuckin' gut to beat him to still lose" he laughs. I glance up ahead and Kyle is barely even trying. In fact, it looks like he is on his phone.. he has slowed right down as if he is waiting for us.

I just concentrate on forcing my feet to keep hitting the ground one in front of the other. I couldn't say that I was enjoying this, but it was better than being forced or chased.. It was weirdly satisfying. My lungs were on fire but I wasn't in danger.. I was just running for the sake of it - something I never thought I'd ever manage to do again. I felt like a child in a playground. The strange nostalgic feeling helps to push the pain and fatigue away. I actually somehow manage to pick up the pace. I glance back behind me and can no longer see the two larger Alphas. Just Kyle a couple of hundred meters ahead, and Johnny about ten meters in front of me.

I fall into a relaxed state, all I could hear was my own breaths and all I concentrated on was keeping them even. In Out In Out In Out. A few meters we turn a corner and I spot the Captain and Lieutenant ahead of us all. HANG ON A FUCKIN' MINUTE - CHEATS. I speed up, as does Johnny. "Ya see that, Lass, fuckin' Cap dinnae even take his own advice. Let's get them!" He shouts back to me mischievously. I giggle and shake my head fondly, but push myself faster.

Kyle goes past them first and obviously makes a comment because Ghost gestures with his hands and John throws his head back and laughs while still jogging slowly. I don't quite hear as Johnny and I are still about fifty meters behind them. C'mon, lass - you jump Cap, I'll get Ghost.."

"Jump... wait Johnny - what do you mean...?" Johnny had already shot off and almost caught up to them. I push myself into a sprint and my face splits into a huge smile. Johnny had leapt onto Simon's Ghost's back and bundled them both to the ground. I don't quite know what came over me in the moment. I laugh and leap at John in the same style that Johnny had with Ghost. John huffs as I hit into his back and stays running for a few strides before eventually loosing his balance and falling to the ground. He rolls so that he is underneath me and takes the brunt of the fall. He grunts as his back hits the grass. I can hear Johnny cackling like a madman and then the Captain speaks from underneath me.

"Johnny's bad behavior is rubbing off on you, love.." I blush and look away, only to meet eyes with Kyle, who is smiling brightly at the scene in front of him. I decide to be very brave. I stop laughing along with Johnny and sit back on his lap and reply back playfully "Bad behavior, Sir? It wasn't us who broke our own rule of not cheating.." I trail off, feeling nervous at how he was going to take my response. He goes silent before growling. I freeze momentarily before I feel his warm arms around me. He stands easily holding my weight and drops me off in Kyle's arms. "Cheeky little thing, you are. I'll need to ask Kyle to teach you some manners, you little minx.." My face heats up and I hide in Kyle's shoulder, giggling. I look over to Johnny who is beaming even though he is pinned by the largest Alpha. Christ, the Lieutenant is massive. Something inside of me makes me whimper, thinking that Johnny is in danger. I wriggle slightly and Kyle turns me away from the scene and whispers into my ear "Simon would never hurt any of us.. trust me on that, yeah?" I whine a reply along the lines of 'mmmhmm'.

*John's POV*

Simon and I decide to treat the final run as a leisurely jog. I already knew that the two young Alphas would shoot off like bloody rockets. They always did the same. What I don't expect is for little Y/N to keep pace with Johnny. Yes, she looks like she is struggling slightly, but the girl has guts. She keeps the pace.

Simon grunts at me around half way through, says that we should meet them at the end so that they 'don't get up to any mischief'. Of course, I agree, and nod in the direction of the best short cut. My knees aren't getting any younger, after all.

Simon and I rejoin the outer perimeter, having cut the top loop out. Kyle jogs by and tells us that our cheating isn't going to go down well with Johnny. Simon tells him to 'do one, Garrick' and something about how we aren't all 'failed athletes' like him which forces a laugh to bellow from my mouth. Such a back handed compliment.

The next thing that I do not predict happening is for Johnny to fell Simon like a fuckin' tree - the boy near on rugby tackles the lad. I watch it all happen from the corner of my eye, laughing as Simon hits the deck and Johnny crawls over him. The boy is like a terrier. Insatiable and endlessly energetic. The next thing I don't reckon on happening is for Y/N to creep around my peripheral vision and leap onto my back.

It's a given, she is much lighter that Johnny, but she also carries herself with much more grace. Her 'rugby tackle' method was rather cat-like. I manage to stay upright for a few strides until her leg taps mine, causing me to trip. It was one of those falls when you know you're going down. It gives me time to spin and take the fall so that I don't land on her, or catapult her, face first, into the grass.

I land on my back and stare back up at her happy face while she is draped across my chest, clung like a Koala. Her walls were down in this moment. She is genuinely happy. I have to move heaven and earth to not grab at her. Her scent is rolling off of her - as strong and sweet as I have smelt it. Control yourself, John!

She blushes like crazy at my comment - about how Johnny is rubbing off on her. She then sasses back at me and Christ, I need to get away from her before I do something that will scare her away. But I'm a greedy man. I stand with her, not quite able to release her yet. I drop her off with sweet Kyle. He wouldn't take advantage of her like I would. I cant help myself. I make an overly sexual remark about Kyle teaching her manners. We all know it wouldn't be Kyle who taught her manners. That job is down to Simon and I. Kyle and Y/N blush, I notice that Kyle nuzzles into her neck when she hides her pretty little blush in his shoulder. Cheeky boy couldn't help himself could he?

Something changes in her expression when she looks up to see Simon pinning Johnny. Then, almost within a split second, her scent changes to a sharper, sour scent. She is scared again. Simon notices the change without even looking. I can tell by his body language. He softens his hold on the younger Alpha and leans down to scent him, Johnny laughs and nuzzles all over Simon's mask. I glance to see how Laika reacts but Kyle had already turned her away. Damn it!

When will she ever see the soft side of Simon Riley?

I take a deep breath, to try and calm myself down from the earlier excitement. As an Alpha, I hadn't had a woman - let alone a possible Omega - sitting on top of me for years now. Of course, my body reacted accordingly. Once I've successfully chilled out, I turn and step back towards a smirking Kyle and a happier Y/N.

I push the loose strands of her hair back behind her ears. "C'mon love".

She giggles and apologises for her earlier behavior. "Don't ever say sorry for having fun, love. I enjoyed seeing you like that. Even Simon chuckled at your little sassy comment.." I wiggle my eyebrows. She blushes again and looks down. She really is unsure of Simon.

I'd - We'd - need to rectify that...

- two days later -

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

Darkness, wet, blood, pain, screaming...

Another nightmare. I thought they were getting better. I cannot get myself out of this one, tossing and turning. I can feel the sweat and tears falling from my face. Was that real or just the nightmare?

*Ghost's POV*

A blood curdling scream echoes the hallway at about 1AM. I was sitting in the kitchen with my feet up on the coffee table, reading a book. I stand up immediately and follow my nose to her room. What the fuck am I supposed to do. The others are all asleep, she is fuckin' terrified of me but she is whimpering and crashing about in there. Fuck it. I'm going in. The annoying Alpha voice inside of my brain is screaming to help her. I wish it would shut the fuck up to be honest. It's been louder than ever since the second she turned up.

I bang on the door - no answer. I step into the strange room hesitantly. Stupid girl didn't even lock the door. I know that Alphas shouldn't intrude Omega's nests, but she needed help.

She isn't on the fuckin' bed. She's ran away, heard me fuckin' coming. She is hiding somewhere. Stupid fuckin' bastard - should never have come in here. She probably thinks I'm coming to kill her.

Over the sound of my thoughts, I hear another pained whimper. The cupboard. Don't tell me that she's-

She is in the fuckin' cupboard. In a fuckin' nest. A nest with Johnny and Kyle's clothes and - is that Cap's missing towel? He lost that yesterday..

I find myself staring at the sight inside of the cupboard. Probably for too long, because I'm drawn back to the situation when she starts breathing erratically.

I try to gently tap her arm. She doesn't wake up. I squeeze her arm now, she flinches, but still doesn't wake up.

"Laika.. it's - fuck - it's me.. Ghost... Wake up..." - nothing. Just more thrashing around.

"Fuckin' hell" I grumble. I lower myself so that I am knelt on the floor in the doorway of the open cupboard. I grab her shoulders and shake. It's the only option I have, having tried everything else.

She snaps out of her nightmare with a shriek, slapping and scrabbling at my chest and face. "Fuck girl - it's me.. I'm - I'm tryin to fuckin' help you" - "DON'T TOUCH ME - GET AWAY" she yells at me.

I'd be lying if my heart didn't freeze over when she says that. Such fear in her voice. Fuck it. Only option left. I grab her around the waist and hold her in one arm, flinging her over my shoulder. She is crying and crashing my back with weak, panicked punches. I hardly feel it. Too numb from her words. I march her out of her room and down the hallway. "Pl-please - please don't" she cries. What the fuck did she think I was gonna do to her?!

I reach the door I was looking for and open in, storming in and dumping her on the bed. She clambers quickly away from me, over the limbs of my pack mates. John wakes up abruptly, instantly in defense mode. She flies towards him and clings to his torso as if she fitted there all too perfectly. She is sobbing now. John growls as he blinks away sleep.

"What the fuck, Simon. What've you done..?" He looks between the sobbing mess clung to him, and me. Great, my own fuckin' Alpha thinks I've 'done' something to her.

By now Johnny and Kyle had woken up too. They move to the space between myself and the girl. Were they creating a barrier?! Didn't they trust me..? Of course they don't. You're a monster.

I sigh, feeling broken, and turn to leave the room. Christ knows where to, but I needed to disappear for a while. I'm almost out of the room. I stop when I hear her. "Si-simon..?"

I don't turn. I just face the doorway, still intending to leave.

Then the Captain speaks up "Answer her, Simon.." I sigh again.

"What?" I snap over my shoulder at her. I see her flinch, "I'm - I'm sorry.." she whines "S'fine" I grunt back, still not turning to face her.

"What happened?" Johnny asks. I don't expect to feel his hand in mine, tugging me back toward the bed. "Get off Johnny" I shake his hand away from mine, but ever persistent, he grabs at my hand again. "Si - what happened?" he asks again.

"The girl was havin' a fuckin' nightmare. Heard her screaming from the kitchen. Didn't even wake up when I banged on the door. She was hiding in her fuckin' cupboard. Didn't even lock her door".

"So.. you helped her..?" Kyle asks hesitantly "what else was I 'sposed to do? Fuckin' let her scream the place down all night?" I snap back - ok fair, that was uncalled for. I have my own fair share of nightmares. Those in glass houses 'n all that bullshit....

"S-sorry.. I didn't mean-" - "I said s'fine" I grunt at her. She hides behind John's shoulder now. She's terrified of me.

"Y/N.. what do you want to do..?" Kyle asks her "Don't want to be a-alone again.." she whimpers back at him. He strokes her cheek. Why can't I be gentle like that?

"Alpha.. can - can she stay here for tonight..?" He asks John nervously. I forgot Johnny was still holding my hand, but he squeezes it excitedly when Kyle asks if she can stay.

"Y/N.. would you feel comfortable here..? I give you my word, we will not touch you.. not hurt you..it's your choice.."

*Laika's (Y/N's) POV*

"Y/N.. would you feel comfortable here..? I give you my word, we will not touch you.. not hurt you..it's your choice.." The captain asks me.. I sniffle into his shoulder. His bare shoulder. "Please.. please, if it's ok - ok with everyone.." I stutter and sniff. "Shhh sweetheart, it's ok.." John reassures me, rubbing my back softly.

He lays me down between him and Kyle. I glance towards Johnny and Ghost. Johnny has finally succeeded in dragging Ghost into the bed. He is as far away from me as he can possibly be on the massive bed. Johnny snuggles up to him and rests his head against Ghost's chest. I can almost see some of the tension leave Ghost's body. I look away and roll to face Kyle. He is already looking at me as I turn around. He smiles softly down at me and whispers "you ok, love?" I nod against the pillow. He motions towards himself and as my eyes meet his motioning hand, I notice that he is also shirtless. Do none of these men wear a shirt to bed?!

I furrow my brows at his gesture "C'mere love, snuggle up to me" he chuckles. "I don't want to be a burden" I sniffle, my face still red and puffy from all of the crying. "Never, now come here" he motions towards himself again. "Gaz.. behave" John warns from his position behind me. "Behaving, sir" - "Better fuckin' be" he grumbles back. His voice was extra gravelly at this time of night. I shuffle towards Kyle and he engulfs me in his arms. He is so warm.. His scent calms me down almost immediately. I push my head so it's resting atop his chest. He slots his chin over the top of my head.

I drift off to sleep, quicker than I had for years. The last thing I feel is a strong, hairy arm wrap around both of us and pull us slightly closer.

[fitgirlfemdom]

Small dick anon here. When I was 185lbs it measured 5 inches, but by the time I was 270 pounds it was only 4 inches with all the fat around it. I never used to have any complaints about my size but once I got bigger it changed. I would only occasionally slip out of someone before and was able to get a good amount of motion. By my biggest weight I had two sexual experiences. The first was with a longtime fwb who loved my dick I was around 260 and my partner likewise. With the extra weight it never stayed hard for as long, and I realized unless I was like totally hard I couldnt stay inside them at all. Theyd guide me in, I’d thrust my heavy overly sweaty body forward and when id motion back it would fall out. I ended up feeling so embarrassed after a few minutes of this that I took my half hard dick and just rubbed it against their clit using my hand and eventually I thrusting my shaft against them. In the end they came a couple times.

The next time I had sex I was even more out of shape at 273 and it was with a girl who was at least 270 herself. I tried fucking them missionary the same as the fwb but our stomachs were both so big. The same thing happened as before but I got hard enough to stay in. I literally couldnt actually thrust it forward it basically was just weight shifting without any friction. This only lasted a minute before she asked me to fuck her from behind. Her ass was huge and I barely got any friction, also had to rest my stomach on her ass to even get inside a little. She put her hands on the wall and rode my dick and that was the only way anything happened. Id never had it happen before but after about a minute i told her I was going to cum. I meant this to mean “slow down” but she started saying “cum for me baby” and pushed her ass into me harder. I came less than 10 seconds later drenched in sweat and completely out of breath. Id barely done anything. I felt so embarrassed I didnt even try fucking her again. She definitely didnt cum and she barely felt it at all.

I also had an online relationship where I showed her my dick and asked if she thought id be big enough to fuck her from behind or if id need a strap and she said “definitely a strap.” Apparently the first time i sent her a video of me touching myself it started with me being flaccid and between how fat my fupa was, you could only see the head and she thought i had a clit until i got harder. I’m 240 now so its still a small dick but i remember at my highest weight when i was flaccid even peeing had to be done sitting down because i didnt have enough length to aim and id have lean over to get the job done and then wipe up after like a girl. I wish I could have stayed that weight for longer, I really wanted to find a thin girl for the first time in my life just so I could see how disappointing I would be. Ive trained myself to cum in under a couple minutes and someday i hope I can get to be over 300 pounds so I can truly be pathetic. I was so close to buried penis syndrome I know with the right guidance and support I could get myself there and be a bit pathetic neutered fuck toy for someone to abuse and humiliate lol

AGHHHHH i've got a lot to say about this.

this reads like a fantasy scenario i'd post on here. the slow degradation of your sexual nature from average dude to sexual degenerate gets me going.

i've also heard from multiple pigs in my DMs that sex gets very difficult at the 270+ size, with cowgirl being the only suitable position. i can only imagine how difficult that would be if your female partner was also fat. honestly i'm having trouble understand how that would even work, but i digress. the girl's ass being so fat you couldn't even penetrate? honestly i feel bad for everyone in this situation. her riding you and making you cum in thirty seconds surprised me, as if i was in that situation, there's no way i'm letting a pig cum that quickly. omg i would've rode your face for an hour til you calmed your horny ass down

the last paragraph GOT ME. having such a small, covered dick that girls think you have a vulva is crazy. as a thin woman, i've never seen a dick that small in real life. i think the smallest dick of one of my partners was 4 inches, and it was so unsatisfying i swore off sex for the past year 😭 i can only imagine going out with a loser, giving him a chance, and getting home to seeing a one-inch nub between his legs. would you be able to penetrate anything with that? you'd probably have to just get oral for the rest of your life. i wonder how crazy it would feel to have a way smaller surface area, but the same amount of nerves, as an average sized cock. do you think you'd be sensitive? do you think you'd be able to have a vibrator on your little cockhead for more than a few minutes without shooting ropes? do you think if a pretty girl just sucked on your little cock for a few moments, you'd start moaning like a pathetic gooner? you'd want so bad to just fuck her like you used to be able to, but your dick just isn't good enough. you'll probably just end up humping her ass with your gut on her back while you cum down her thighs.

so helpless at sex that you'd just be reduced to sitting under your girl's desk, eating out her cunt while you jerk off your little nub between your fingers. eventually, you might get quite good at it. she might never even let you fuck her again, binding you up in a custom chastity cage because it's not like you can use it anyway.

aghhh thank you for this message small dick anon. i wish more of my inbox messages were like this

[kamisama1kiss]

Larry Johnson { Classmates with equal interests }

This is an old story I made a while back 😝 hope you guys enjoy the small little story I tried to fix to at least readable this time around. Don't worry, requests are being worked on at this very moment 😚🫶

Tapping the pencil on the tan wooden desk as their eyes scanned outside as the rain was booming down as if there was never going to be a tomorrow as leafs waved in the wind as they flew past in a rush, a soft sparkling sound could be heard with the lights being poorly lighting up the old classroom.

The teacher spoke, yet the words fell on deaf ears. Meanwhile, they focused on everything around instead. Their mind as being easily distracted also didn't help much to their displeasure. The class went on when a sentence had finally reached out, shifting to face the teacher listening to her one toned monotone voice.

"In this project you need to partnered up with someone" before she could continue several voices were whispering amongst the students, "Groups have already been chosen, the remaining of class will be used for discussion." Many groans were heard, and a lot of grumpy teenagers' faces were visible in the room.

The only thing that would maybe scare them about this project depended on who they got with it. Maybe it could mostly be because who would wanna be partnered up with 'the quiet kid' huh? Most people.

"Last group is Larry Johnson and {Name} {Last Name}. Group up and talk." Which was the last words heard from her, having moved her focus back at her desk as she schemed at some sort of papers. Clinging on to some sort of hope that they'd survive this project.

While they sat as thoughts ran through their head, a voice interrupted that train as they blinked. Their eyes met with a pair of brown eyes, "Hey {Name}, right?" Long brown hair softly framing his face as a beauty mark placed underneath his right eye, he was pretty decent looking. "Yeah, Larry, correct?" A soft smile creept its way to their lips, trying to keep the awkward tension to minimum.

"Mhm" Keeping a good mood. "How would you like to do the project? I am currently blank myself, " shrugging his shoulder sheepishly with a lazy boyish grin on his face. "Oh yeah. We have had about the nature lately, so we can just keep it simple with that theme? Like sustainability of some sort?"

Looking at him waiting for a response, but he only nodded, seeming as if he didn't mind, "Yeah, that could be an easy topic without too much stress. Chill." He agreed, nodding with tiny lip curl.

"Thinking the same." scribbling down the idea in the book which was used as notes. Facing Larry again with an almost nervous smile, that never actually seemed to have left. Not used to interacting with someone. Complaining? Slightly, but that was before their eyes landed on the big letters on the tan t-shirt he was wearing.

"Sanitys Fall?" They mumbled softly, which he had heard easily enough as a bright smile appeared. "You know them?" he spoke excitedly, which shocked them as it suddenly was a bit louder than before, even seemingly more interested in talking. Happily answering. "Yeah, I do"

Almost as if new life had shot throughout his body, Larry leaned forward as his elbows rested crossed on the desk. The left leg bounced. "Wow, I don't often meet people who even know about them. Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Stopped yapping, waiting for a reply from them. They were speechless for a few seconds before the words poured out like a waterfall. "Really? That's shocking. I've known about them since the first release." Taking a short breath.

"I have had to hide that interest, not every accepted at home." Their expression showed excitement, yet it lingerd a more of an upset filter underneath. Greeted with a rare emotion of no judgedment.

"Fucking that suck man, we can talk about it now? I've got a friend who also likes SF. " He smiled back. His joy could be reminded of a little kid in a candy store. "If it isn't too much of a trouble, I would love to."

"No, no. I dont mind. How about later today? After school." An eye-closed chuckle escaped from him, recreating a similar smile on their own expression. His smile was contaiges.

Pausing for a brief moment, "I am not exactly the most... social person." Rubbing the back of their own hand, the pencil being back on the table. Their expression now faltering for a little. "Don't even worry, Sal is chill with new people."

The bell rang, signalling the end of class. Disappointed, this conversation had to come to an end. Larry had looked at the clock on the beige wall before turning back to them. "Later?" Saying with more of a questionable look, "Yeah.. later." Nodded at him.

Larry stood up with these words, grabbing his red bag, which he had next to him on the floor, which went unnoticed by them, not having seen the bright red bag before now. Their eyes looked around the bag to see all the different designs, which looked mostly hand-made or stuck on there. He was a creative person.

Lifting a hand as to say bye before he left the room before making his way to god knows where. This small, friendly movement made their face heat up the slightest bit, almost not even noticeable. Being left in class smiling to themselves before snapping back and leaving for next class.

[mikailys]

MCL NewGen Ep 8 Commentary

Ik it's late and that several days have passed since the episode's release, but I wanted to wait a bit to let my thoughts simmer and write my review with a cool head. I need to rant about it so sit tight 'cause this one in particular is though lol.

As it was advertised, the whole episode revolves around Roy and a peculiar hobby of his: skinny dipping. Thomas is the one who spills the beans -as always- and everyone is curious about it. Roy explains that he only does it after the swimming pool closing hour and you know what: that is fine by me. Is it weird? Yes, but I'm not supposed to care what my co-workers do in their freetime so I personally don't mind.

And, unfortunately, that's all. To sum up, the plot is "co-workers try to go undercover to spy on their other coworker while he's skinny dipping :|

Since I don't like Roy, the premise of this ep didn't really appeal to me at all. But, weirdly enough, it had the opposite effect 'cause I've spent its whole duration feeling sorry for him. He gets the possibility once a month to train alone in a professional pool, and the six of us -which I recall you are his co-workers and his boss- have nothing better to do than to go spying on him? Just because they thought he subtly implied he wanted them to come see him?!

One. It is false since during the whole workday they kept "catcalling" him and joking about it and he wasn't really pleased to say the least. He put on a brave face, endured the working hours, and then left the office asap.

Two. You're adults, fully grown adults that are acting like literally teens. It's not normal for grown-ups to feel excited, see Elenda and Thomas, to play spies to see your co-worker naked. It is weird and creepy.

I'm glad at least I wasn't the only sane person to comprehend this was wrong and absurd on so many levels. Paradoxically enough, the only one I found myself agreeing with was Amanda, a character I couldn't stand until now, she gained a tons of points in my eyes + she's also a girl's girlie so gg.

Also, special mention to the hint of peer pressure put on Candy and Amanda by the quartet. I didn't like it at all and it shouldn't be even a thing considering the context.

No is no, even if Roy supposedly enjoys voyeurism, I personally do not.

This is really a shame cause they butchered so many characters with this unnecessary sketch, Thomas being the worst of them in my eyes. I'm not sure if my perception of him was wrong from the start, but I don't recognize this character at all. Silly jokes, creepy hobbies, and an immature, teenage-like attitude were never traits I would have attributed to him. I know I keep repeating myself but it's truly a shame that such poor writing has impacted the perception and development of the characters, which now seems clearly different from how they were portrayed in the beginning...

Going forward, I made then the choice to leave with Amanda and warn Roy about their ambush. It was nice to have that option tbh. The whole scene afterwards, sneaking into the public pool and hiding in the lockers, was utterly embarrassing because it’s not the kind of behavior you’d expect from people in their late twenties, but whatever the problem it's the whole context so I can't complain about it too much.

Then Roy catches the sextet and pulls off his counter-prank. After snitching on us, we all decided it was a good time to play with water guns. Again, the idea was fun and silly in a good way, but context-wise mmh...

Now the long-awaited moment I've been patiently waiting for: the encounter with Jason.

Look at him I love him sm nsgsg

I had no idea how they would include him in the episode since he practically had nothing to do with the Devenemential gang. And honestly -unpopular opinion- they probably should have left him out of this messy episode because the reason they gave for his involvement didn’t fully convince me, and the special scene was disappointing.

Apparently, he also has deals with the guards -worst security protocol ever if you ask me- and he goes there once a week to train. And here I was thinking that the CEO of a famous and well-known company would have a private pool or the means to rent one lol. Looks like everyone's feeling the pinch these days. Good job Jason, saving money like the rest of us poor unfortunate souls, such a relatable boss.

Fun fact, it appears one of his dreams is to defeat Roy? In a swimming competition?? Like, okay? I'll gladly be there to root for you the day you actually succeed then dear.

Well maybe not everyone shares the same hobbies as you and Roy, Candy. Besides, why would he know about Roy's interests?? He's not as deranged as Thomas, who keeps tabs on his colleagues' private lives...

ANYWAY. Candy feels cold and needs to get out of the pool if she doesn’t want to catch pneumonia. Jason offers to help her by closing his eyes, but she’s not fully convinced. Again, NOT EVERYONE IS A PERV, CANDY. You're just the unlucky girl who's got to work with them. In fact you should bring him to Devenemential to have him teach your colleagues the art of not being crazy maniacs, I'm sure that could be of help.

I won't spend too many words on the next scene since I've already made a whole ass post ranting about it and sharing my headcanon. However, regarding the mistress scene, I will say that yes, it was poorly executed. But if the entire episode had followed this direction I would have gladly signed off on it because, all things considered, it’s not even remotely comparable to the plot we've endured so far.

Now for the special scene I am conflicted. Ngl I really thought for a split second that we actually managed to kiss him, but I quickly snapped back to reality when I realized it was just Candy being delusional and I am just as much as her. She must have ingested way too much chlorine to be having such a mental trip lol. Anyway, I didn't like it very much because it was clear that BV didn't know what to come up with. The fact that they managed to incorporate Jason into the plot was something, but asking for a well-written special scene was apparently too much.

On a side note, I’m DEAD TIRED of having to endure the worst humiliations in every single episode when we’re on Jason’s route. It's pretty embarrassing, and, at lest for me, it’s not easy to move forward without cringing every few minutes. Moreover, it always seems like he has to have the upper hand in every situation. When is our Candy going to stop acting like a fool and step up her game??

And that's all, the episode ends with Candy leaving the pool, wondering if she and Jason will ever stop meeting in the most weird way spoiler: you won't i assure you.

Now for the next episode I fear we’re in for another ‘fun’ plot since it’s called A Child at Heart, but honestly I have no idea what these interns will actually get up to. Maybe the theme will revolve around generational differences, since they seem to be Gen Z while our colleagues are more on the border of being Millennials? Idk but I do really hope the writing will be better than in this ep.

All things considered, I still have faith in BV. I know they have the ability to write a good story with a solid foundation when they want to—it’s just that I don’t know what’s happening with this series in particular. As other players have pointed out, it feels like this plot was originally conceived when NG was still set in a high school, and now they’re trying to repurpose it in a more 'adult' way. The problem is, it’s just not working.

The Halloween event is approaching, and let’s hope it can alleviate some of the discontent in the community. Hopefully the upcoming episodes will be better since they’ve addressed the topic in the forums but we'll see.

[tinywagoncolorbat]

GAICHE ADLAI X READER PLSSS IM BEGGING (and reader is jealous of grey bc I am) if you don’t want to you don’t have to but please do any setting where you can write best!

I haven't had any luck with writing for months now but I absolutely love Gauche and really want to try writing for him because there is not enough of him out there

I am also currently rewatching Black Clover so it's perfect timing

Your just as important as Marie

Gauche Adlai x Fem!BlackBullsReader

Summary: You decide to go shopping alone instead of waiting for him but you run into him in town with gray

Warning: Fluff, Slight angst?, Cursing, Jealousy, Gauche might be a little out of character

Word count: 800+

It's been a few hours since you've seen Gauche. You heard something about him helping Gray with her shyness.

It upset you a little because he's been spending a lot of time with her lately and you found a nice new shop in the capital that has really good toys and treats for kids, so you were hoping to go shopping with him for Marie.

You wander out into the main area of the Black Bulls base hoping they would be back by now.

You take a look around and notice almost everyone is out on missions or is training.

You let out a loud sigh "Guess I'll just have to go shopping by myself then" You say as you grab your broom and head for the capital.

You arrive and you keep flying over the buildings to try to find the shop you found not too long ago when you hear a familiar voice.

You fly down to the street you hear the voice and jump off your broom to get a better look at the loud yelling that you seem to recognize somewhere.

You walk closer to see Marie standing In the street. You turn your head to see Gauche with a nose bleed screaming that he loved her and running toward her to hug her.

You stood there smiling at him because that's just like him, Until he's right in front of her and she transforms back into gray.

Your heart stops as you see Gauche and gray standing incredibly close to each other and him complaining that she changed back.

You start to feel really insecure by watching this so you walk forward to interrupt them.

"There you are Gauche, I've waiting to see you all day" You say with a hint of sadness in your voice as you approach them.

"Oh, hello dear. What are you doing here" Gauche asks when he turns and sees you there. Gray immediately panicked and tried to hide herself.

"There was a new shop i found a while ago that would have nice things for Marie, and since you weren't back yet i was going to go by myself" you say nervously while playing with you're fingers.

"New things for my beautiful angel, I will gladly come with you" Gauche states as his nose starts bleeding at the thought of new gifts for Marie. "I'll have to help you later gray, my darling Marie needs some gifts"

You smile at him as you start walking in the direction of the store. "It's a little ways down this street"

He runs up besides you and starts talking about what he could get for Marie from this shop. "Will i be able to get my angel some new dresses, Or maybe some new dolls that she can play with"

You just hum and nod along with what he's saying, fully focused on what you saw with him and gray just a minute ago.

He kept rambling until he realized you weren't responding and helping him think of what to get her. He stop talking and looked down and seen the sad expression you had on your face. "Is something bothering you" He blurts out.

You stop walking and look up at him. "It's nothing, don't worry about it" You wave it off putting on a smile.

He stops to stand in front of you too see you better. "Don't say that, it makes me what to know more.

You look up at him and then look back down at the ground. "It's just.." You trail off for a second, then take a deep breath deciding to just rip off the band-aid and just ask. "Do you have feelings for gray" You quickly say without looking at him.

At first he gets angry at the fact that you think he would like somebody else, then he realizes that your worrying about this a lot. He lets out a breath to calm down so he doesn't say anything mean and make this worse.

He puts a hand on your cheek to make you look up at him. "Gray is just a colleague and that is all she will ever be. Next to my darliing angel Marie you're the most important person in my life" He pauses and looks at you for a second.

"Actually, Your just as important as Marie is too me"

You look at him with pure shock as you eyes start to water. "You really mean that?"

"I do, I love you y/n" He say with a smile on his face.

Tears start streaming down your face as you hear the words you never though he'd say to you. "I love you too" You happily say smiling back at him.

He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears away as he leans down to leave a gentle kiss on your lips.

After he pulls away you looks at you with a slight nose bleed. "now lets go to that new shop so i can spend all my money on my sweet angel"

"Sounds good" You say as you grab his hand and lead his down the street to the shop.

[13as07]

Patience #1

(Jiraiya Smut)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to SUk1J1]

Requested by: Myself

Keys:

None

Word Count: 5,678

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Masturbating (clit stimulation & pillow humping)

Age Gap

Power Difference (Teacher/Student)

Overstimulation/Orgasm Denial

Pet Names: Little One, Sweetheart, Pillow Princess, Obedient Girl, Sweet Thing/Girl

Choking (for like five seconds)

Hair Pulling

Soft Domination

Praising

Fingering/Oral

I'm stuck on what to do for part two. Should I do wake up sex or the story from Jiraiya's pov? Maybe I'll just make this a four part story instead of a three part story. We'll see :)

———————————————————————

     "Jiraiya-Sensei," the name slips out before I can stop it. Disgust with myself mixes with the pleasure sliding down to my core. Despite the disgust, I continue letting the shower head shoot stimulating bolts of water into my clit.

That's so bad, so inappropriate of me, so wrong. I shouldn't be getting off to thoughts of my Sensei. Jiraiya is a highly regarded Shinobi, one of the legendary sannins, old enough to be my father, all of which only seem to make me hornier.

I can't stop the dirty thoughts seeping into my head, causing my empty pussy to clench with need, to pulse from the lack of being filled.

Thoughts of my Sensei in his nightshirt circle my head, images of him in it pushing me forward. The lovely nightshirt that shows off his defined muscles a lot better than his day clothes. The thin material that dips with his scar. The scar I've thought about tracing with my fingers a million times.

Soon the thought is replaced by another. The innocent memory from earlier this week is soaked in sin. I can't help it, the sight of Jiraiya pushing up the sleeves of his undershirt was just so attractive. The way the bunched-up material empathized his arms just churned something in my stomach.

When the memory of my sensei's heavy hand pushing against my back this morning crosses my mind, it snaps the band between my legs. "Please Jiraiya," I whine, a lot louder than I meant to. I shouldn't mean to. I shouldn't be thinking of my Sensei in this, saying his name in this tone, in this situation.

My legs are just as shaky, if not shaker, than my breath, but I don't move the shower head away. This will be my punishment, overstimulation to wash away my unprofessional thoughts. It's not a punishment though, and I know it. I know I'm going to enjoy continuing to get myself off until I can barely stand.

The continual stimulation only lasts for another minute or two before I can't stand it anymore.

The thought of my Sensei forcing my overstimulation crosses my mind as I pull the shower head away from myself. I don't know what's worse; having the thought or knowing Jiraiya would. After all, he's known for making his students train until they drop. I can't see him being any different with his sexual partners.

I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts out and steady myself. I just need my legs to last long enough to clean my mess up.

As I clean myself again, the pleasure from before washes away, leaving only the disgust I feel from my thoughts and my actions.

The disgust doesn't subside as I climb out of the shower and dry myself off. It sure as hell doesn't drain as I dress myself into my sleep clothes. It gets even worse when I question whether Sensei would find my panties cute or sexy.

By the time I get out of the bathroom and into our empty hotel room, I'm making myself sick from the reappearing thoughts. Why am I so horny? Why am I so perverted? Why isn't Sensei back from his outing yet?

A whine bubbles in my throat as I scan the room again for Jiraiya, even though I know he won't appear from thin air. Maybe it's good that he's not back yet. Having him here would only grow the fire that wasn't completely put out in the shower. But, it would be so nice to see him right now, to get to appreciate his appearance, to have him distract me from the ache between my legs.

Acknowledging the ache only makes it worse. I need my hormones to stop, for my horniness to go.

Before I can stop myself, I crawl into Jiraiya's bed, leaving the other bed in the room - my bed - empty. The faint forest smell of my Sensei wisps off the sheets, causing the heat to grow even more.

I'm such a pervert, a terrible student, a nasty person.

Just like before, the disgust with myself doesn't outweigh the neediness of my pussy. My eyes snap closed as my hand snakes up the bedsheets, colliding with one of the fluffy white pillows on the bed. I tug the pillow down, shifting it between my knees and propping myself onto it.

When tingles fill me again, I know I'm in the perfect position. I waste no time, burying my head into the sheets to soak in more of Jiraiya's scent as I start thrusting my hips forward.

My hands cling to the bedding when I try to shove my face further into the mattress. Despite my efforts, whines and my sensei's name still come tumbling out of my mouth. "Jiraiya," I whine to myself, grinding my clit against the pillow faster, keeping my thrusts nonstop. The feeling of my slick reapply to my thighs only pushes out another whimper. "Please Sensei?"

     Pressure is added to my clothed hole, causing me to clench before I'm ripped from my dirty fantasy. A yelp falls from me because of the added pressure, the added pressure not being caused by me.

     "So chatty, aren't we?" A voice curves from behind me, causing me to shoot up. My hands are still clenched to the bedding, which is now pulled up from my sitting position. My clit slides against the pillow because of my movement, pulling out a soft moan from my throat.

     My heart is racing as my mind starts processing what's going on. A big, warm hand is now pressed below me, cupping my pussy because of my sudden movements. I can hear the soft breathing of the intruder behind me, my mind fuzzy from the surprise and stimulation, making it hard to process the situation and figure out how to get out of it.

      "Are you going to answer me? It's disrespectful not to answer your Sensei."

     Arousal and embarrassment seep down my stomach from the words. My mind is both empty and packed as I process Jiraiya's words. Jiraiya... my Sensei... who I've spent the past five minutes whining for. "I... um... didn't hear you," I murmur, letting my hands back down, the bedding following suit.

     "Are you a chatterbox in bed, sweetheart?" He repeats, tugging his hand out from under me before laying both of them on my hips.

     "Sometimes," I whisper, my breath shaky as I focus on the headboard in front of me. I fail at this, my attention fully being on the weight of my sensei's hands on me.

     "What have you been up to, little one?" Jiraiya purrs, his head dipping down to whisper into my ear. His hands go to work, slowly sliding me back and forth on the pillow still held between my thighs.

     "While you were..." I try, cutting myself off to hold a moan back.

     One of Sensei's hands releases me long enough to poke my cheek before forcing my hips back into motion. "Don't do that, sweetheart. I want to hear those pretty noises again." I shift my head to try and glance behind me, being met with my stimulation stopped again and hands cupping my cheeks to keep my head still. "Keep your head forward, little one."

     I shift my head back into place, leaning it to the side to soak in Jiraiya's touch. "While you were gone I practiced my clone jutsu," I finally answer, rolling the current situation in my head. This can't be real. This isn't my Sensei, this has to be someone pretending to be Jiraiya. "Sensei?"

     "Sweetheart?" The word is followed by soft circles being rubbed into my cheeks and a kiss pressed behind my ear.

     "If I can't look at you, how do I know it's really you?" Another kiss is pressed into me, behind my other ear this time.

     "Oh, little one, are you that desperate to see me? If I knew you'd miss me this much, I'd go on more outings while we're out of the village."

     The answer makes me huff, mostly out of jealousy. I know what Jiraiya does on his outings, I know what his 'research' really is. All Sensei ever does is thirst after any woman who crosses his path.

     "Oh, don't be so jealous, Sweetheart. I was actually busy this time." It makes me angry how easily he reads me.

     "Busy with what? Peeping into another bathhouse?"

Jiraiya chuckles, the sound echoing throughout the room. "No. Believe it or not, I was meeting up with one of my under-covers."

"Lair," I mumble to myself, shifting my head so it leans the other way.

Sensei chuckles again, this time softer than before. His hands dip, tugging my head back as far as it'll go. Finally seeing him makes more embarrassment seep into my bones. My cheeks start to heat up as I look over Jiraiya's face, taking in his dark eyes before my sight slides down the red stripes of his face. "Hello, little one."

"Hi," I answer, shifting my sight away from him.

"Aw, come on, sweetheart. Don't do that. I want to see your pretty eyes. Look at me." Reluctantly, I do as I'm told, turning my attention back to Sensei's face. His eyes are soft but a smug look coats the rest of my face. "What an obedient student I have," he murmurs, dipping his head down.

I stay still, not knowing what he's going to do or what to do with myself. Jiraiya's lips brush against my face, leaving behind dragged-out kisses as he works his way down to his fingers. Once he's done littering kisses on the right side, he changes his attention to the left.

"Sensei?"

"Hush, little one," he orders, his hands dropping down to my neck. They're light against my skin, his fingers overlapping quite a bit. Jiraiya's hands are big enough that he doesn't need both of them to wrap around my throat. "We're going to work on patience, okay?"

"But-"

"But nothing. I'm your teacher after all. Am I not? It's my job to teach you, to train you." Sensei's speech is followed by a gentle squeeze to my throat, causing me to wiggle uncomfortably. I don't like that, it scares me.

He freezes, his attention being pulled from the repeating kisses being pressed into my face. His eyes scan over me for a beat before his hands shift back to cupping my cheeks, his fingers gently massaging my jawline. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to scare you."

Once again I'm a bit pissy at how easy he reads me. I don't like him knowing he scared me. I don't want it to scare him away from the attention I'm getting, the attention I've been craving from him. "It's okay."

"It's not," Jiraiya whispers back, lips back to attacking my face. "I won't do anything you don't want, little one."

The nickname makes me squirm, adding a bit of friction to my forgotten clit. Half of a whimper slips up from the small attention to my pussy, getting me a tighter grip on my face.

"Let's start your lesson, ya? Do you want to start your lesson, sweetheart?"

"Please?" I ask, the question coming out whiner than I meant it to.

"Fuck," Jiraiya husks out under his breath, causing me to tingle even more. "You sound so pretty." Sensei's hands drop down to my hips, lifting me off the pillow I've been sitting on before placing me on my feet. "My pretty pillow princess," he mumbles, keeping me in place so I'm facing the wall again.

A hand slides into my hair, holding on to the roots of it. He waits for a second, scanning for my reaction before he tightens his hold. "I'm going to start our lesson, okay? You tell me if there's something you don't want to do, got it, sweetheart?"

"Got it," I mumble, rubbing my legs together. The small touches and ignorance of my needs are making my ache worse. I want to get off now, I need to cum now. Why won't Sensei give me what I want?

Jiraiya's hand relaxes in my hair, loosening his hold but not letting me go. "You need to learn some patience, to learn to wait for me and not rush into things. So, we're going to go nice and slow, okay?" I hum out a yes, nodding my head a bit but that doesn't work out very well. "I'm going to work out your orgasm, slowly. Soft little licks, slow curls, and pumps, and if you behave I'll give you a nice reward, okay little one?"

That sounds terrible. I don't have the patience for a slow pace. I want to orgasm and I want to do it now. "Yes, Sensei," I answer, following my answer with a disappointed whine.

He's silent for a couple of seconds, his hand massaging my head before he drops his hold on me. Sensei's hands land on my hips again, gently pulling me against him. He's warm to the touch, his chest stretching out wider than my frame and coating me with the familiar forest smell he gives off.

"There's my obedient girl," Jiraiya coos, his fingers toying with the hem of my shirt before he starts sliding it upwards. His fingertips tickle as they slide up my sides, tugging my shirt up with them.

I squirm from the touches, rubbing against my Sensei in the process. The hard impression of his dick presses into me from my movements, only making it harder not to move. It excites me to know he's as turned on as me. "Or not," Jiraiya says, his hands - and my shirt - falling back down. "Let's try again, little one. I know you can do it."

This time around, I set my mind on staying still. I'll never get what I want if I can't even make it past the first step.

Once again, Sensei's hands work their way up, tickling my sides the whole time. "Good job, sweet thing," he coos again once my shirt is over my head and disregarded to the floor. "Sweet, sweet thing," he continues to utter, his big hands rubbing soft circles into my stomach. "Are you ready for our next step?"

"Yes," I breathe out, trying my best to stay still. It feels like I'm vibrating with the need to shift in Jiraiya's hold. His hands are so close to my waistband, why can't he just dip his hand down and give me some relief?

"Come here, little one," he calls, tugging me with him as he sits on the edge of the bed. I slide into his lap, his boner pushing against my butt as he cradles me between his knees. "Turn around, sweet girl."

I do as I'm told, shifting in Sensei's hold. His hands slide down, cupping my ass while his gaze rolls over my bare chest. "What an obedient little thing. You're being so good." The praises make me tingle, forcing the lack of attention further into my mind. "I'm going to play with your chest, okay sweetheart?" Jiraiya asks, one of his hands letting my butt go so he can ghost his fingertips over my nipple.

"Okay, Sensei," I whisper, lifting my hands to rest them against his broad shoulders. I swear this teasing is going to kill me. "Why won't you touch me Sensei?" I whimper, shifting forward to grind myself against anything I can reach.

Jiraiya's hand shifts from my ass to my hip before he gently pushes me back in place. "I am touching you, little one. You need to be patient if you want me to touch your pussy, okay? Be patient."

I whine in disappointment but still fall back into place. I'm getting attention, the attention I want, even if it's not in the place I want. "Stop pouting, sweet thing. I'll get you off after our lesson." Once the sentence is out, Jiraiya latches himself to my nipple, softly sucking on it as his hand gently rolls my other nipple between his fingers.

He does as he pleases, switching his mouth and hand between my boobs. It feels nice, having him attack my chest, but it doesn't help my craving for attention. It makes me ache more. "You're being good," he praises, his tongue poking out to slide over my hardened nipple. "So, so good," he continues, his teeth grazing me now.

Sensei does the same to the other side as he tugs me into his lap. I'm shifted around by his free hand, my clothed pussy being pressed against his cock. Jiraiya's eyes flicker up at me, taking in my distressed face. This isn't fair. How am I not supposed to squirm against him? Not stimulate myself when he's so eagerly pressed against me?

After another minute or two of sucking and nipping at my chest, pain starts to overwhelm the pleasure I was receiving. "Sensei?" I call, my nails digging into his shoulders.

"Yes, little one?"

"It's starting to hurt."

Without another word, Jiraiya loosens his mouth from me and the hand that was toying with my nipples drops back down to cup my ass. "Good job, sweet girl," he coos, lips sliding over the sore skin of my boobs. "You're being so good. You deserve a reward."

"For what?" I ask, not convinced this is the end of my so-called lesson on patience.

"For listening, for telling me when to stop. A good student knows their limits, knows when to not be obedient."

Sensei's hands slide up to my hips, taking hold of them before he shifts me against his penis. "Hey," the word tumbles out, curling with a shaky breath. My arms wrap around Jiraiya, clinging to him for some form of grounding. The grinding sends sparks through me, my clit throbbing from finally getting the needed attention.

Before I get too much attention, the movement is stopped, leaving me still as Sensei is pressed against me again. "You're doing great, sweetheart. One more step and I'll give you what you want, okay? Be good and I'll fill you up."

My thighs tense as I clench around nothing. I want to be filled so bad. At this point, I'll do anything to get what I want. "Okay, Sensei," I whisper into his shoulder, leaning my head down for the slightest break.

"For our next step, I'm going to spread you out all nice and pretty on the bed, okay? I'm going to taste you and play with you, and you're going to stay still the whole time, you understand? Are you going to let me spread you out?"

"Yes!" The word rips from my lungs, my clit throbbing again from the promised attention I'm going to get.

     Jiraiya laughs at my excitement, the noise following us as he stands up, pressing me into his chest as he does so. Once again I'm set on my feet, body pressed up against Sensei's. Unlike last time, his hands dip past my waistband like I want. His fingers inch down my legs, his thumbs hooked around the waistband of my pants, tugging it down with his hands.

"I can't wait to make you feel good, little one," he whispers into my ear, his lips falling down my neck once the praise is out. When his arms are stretched as far down as possible, they crawl back up to me, leaving my bottoms to be pulled the rest of the way by gravity.

Sensei picks me up again, successfully leaving my pants abounded on the floor with my shirt. The bed is soft, almost as soft as Jiraiya's hold, when he sets me down. "Lay down, princess," the command is followed by peppered kisses across my shoulder blades.

The shifting of the bedsheets seems loud as I move around. I feel exposed with myself spread out, knees open as Jiraiya looks at my vulnerable spots. As if the shyness wasn't enough, I'm suddenly very aware of the situation going on right now. My Sensei - my teacher - is hovering over me as I'm very much nude under him.

"Jiraiya," my voice shakes out as I slowly close my knees. I keep my eyes locked on the ceiling, hoping that looking away from him and clinging to the bedsheets will help me ground myself.

"Hey," he calls softly, hands gently clasping my knees as his thumbs rub circles into me again. "What's going on in that smart little mind of yours?"

     "A lot," I whisper, closing my eyes to help focus on my breathing.

Lips brush against my stomach, making a path of swirls and curves as Sensei travels across my skin. "You're overwhelmed. It happens sometimes when you get stimulated for too long. We'll take a breather, give you time to calm down."

The explanation is followed by arms wrapping around me, pressing me into him again as he shifts us. When we're settled, my back is against his chest, his arms wrapping me up and resting in my lap, and his knees pressed up against mine, keeping me secured between his legs. Jiraiya's head is nestled into my neck, his nose brushing butterfly kisses into my skin.

"Sensei?" He pushes out a hum, the vibrations raking over my skin when his lips brush against my shoulder. "I know what being overstimulated is."

"Do you, sweetheart? I've spent about thirty minutes playing with you. After you enjoyed yourself in the shower and on my bed. So, it's safe to say you've been going for a little over an hour. Do you regularly overstimulate yourself for that long, little one?"

My cheeks warm from Jiraiya's words. He knows about all of it, he heard all of it. All my whines and whimpers for him. "Answer me, sweetie," he orders, poking my cheek before letting his arm fall back in place.

"No... I don't usually last longer than a couple minutes of it." My answer makes the temperature in my cheeks rise even more. Sensei is a pervy guy, of course, he knows more about situations like this than me.

"Mhm, that's what I thought," he mumbles, cockiness coating his words. It's quickly chased away by another line of kisses being pressed across my shoulders. It's soothing, having his body warmth envelop me as he presses soft kisses across my skin. "My pretty, little, obedient girl," he murmurs, hands going back to work, rubbing large circles on my inner thighs.

     I let my legs tumble open, bumping against his as I do so. "Sensei?"

     "Sweetheart?"

     The word sticks in my chest, the shyness coming back from earlier but luckily none of the overwhelmness. Instead, I let my hands slide backward, my fingers wrapping around the hem of his shirt before I tug on it. "Please?"

     "How am I supposed to say no to a request like that?" He teases, hands clenching my thighs to shift me forward. My ears ring with the sound of clothes shifting, causing the ache between my legs to ramp up again.

     When I'm pulled back into place, my chest connects to Jiraiya's scared chest. The rough tissue rubs against my back in a weird calming way. It's a reminder that it's my Sensei behind me, my Sensei touching me, my Sensei making me feel good. No one else's bare chest will ever feel like this against my back.

     "Spread your legs wider, Princess," he orders, moving me before I can do it myself. My legs are shifted, hooked around his so I'm spread wide. The mixed warmth of Jiraiya behind me and his fingers dancing over my inner thighs is intoxicating. "Good job, little one," he coos, small licks sliding over my neck as his fingers inch closer to my clothed pussy. "I'm going to touch you now, okay?"

     "Okay," I breathe out, tipping my head back so it's resting against his shoulder. My hands settle in his thighs, gripping them softly.

     Fingertips ghost over me, adding pressure on my hole again before focusing light circles to my clit. A hiss breath escapes me before my eyes snap closed. "Look at me sweetheart," Sensei orders, his nose bumping into mine when he turns his head.

     I reluctantly do as I'm told, snapping my eyes open with the fear of spooking myself again simmering in my head. "There are those pretty eyes," Jiraiya whispers, eyes glancing down at my lips. "Can I have a kiss, sweet girl?"

     "Yes."

     The distance between us is closed, his lips brushing against mine as his fingers work on tugging my panties down my legs.

     "Wider, sweet thing," Sensei mumbles against my mouth, his pressing against me again as he shifts our legs wider. "Fuck," he husks again, fingerings sliding through me and getting coated in my mess. "Open your mouth."

     I let my mouth fall open, Jiraiya's fingers quickly filling it. His fingers press down on my tongue as they slide down my throat. More soft curses spill from him as I suck myself off his skin. "I swear I could fuck you right now."

     "Please?" I ask from around his fingers, the word coming out butchered.

     Sensei stays silent for a moment, his mind torn between continuing my 'lesson' or giving me what I want. The answer is given to me when his fingers pop out of my mouth and go back to my pussy. I can't complain too much about the aching of my needs finally being met.

     My eyes stay locked on his as his fingers explore me, two of them slightly dipping into me before going back to rubbing circles into my clit. This is another test of my patience, an attempt to get me to thrust forward to be filled more. A test I won't fail.

     When Jiraiya is satisfied with the results, his lips brush against mine again. As my lips are busy with his, fingers plung into me, his knuckles rubbing against my folds as he pumps his digits in and out of me. "Hey," I drag out when Sensei curls his fingertips against my walls.

     "Hey," he mocks, the pace picking up ever so slightly as he stares back into my eyes.

     The pace stays as is, slow and rough with a mix of thrusts and curling. Just as I'm sure the bend of my orgasm is going to snap, I'm left empty and gapping. "Hey! That's... you can't do that," I whine, nails digging into the material of his pants.

     "I can and I did, sweetheart," Sensei answers, his soaked hand coming up to squeeze my breast. Opened-mouth kisses are pressed along my neck as he continues to squeeze my boob, his grip switching from being gentle to being a lot rougher.

     "We're going to play a game," I'm told, the words hard to process as Jiraiya slides his tongue over the previously pressed kisses.

     "We... we are?" I ask, my heavy breaths making it difficult to push out my question.

     Sensei hums a yes, hands dropping down to grip my thighs. "You are going to sit nice and pretty on my face like the pillow princess you are. As long as you're talking I'll play with you. If you stop talking, I stop playing. Does that sound fun?"

     "Ya, yes, yeah," I stumble out, leaning forward to get another kiss. I'm given what I want, a string of small kisses before a deeper one is pressed into my lips.

     After I'm given my kisses Jiraiya lifts me off of him, but quickly sets me back down on the bed beside him. My eyes trail over his body, taking in the way his chest muscles work to pump oxygen through him.

     My attention catches on his hands. I watch them slide down his body, quick to undo his pants and shove them off of him. The imprint of his dick in his boxers makes me pulse. His big, bigger than I thought he would be. I don't know why I'm surprised though, my Sensei is built like a brick.

     "Come here, sweet thing," he orders, hand gripping my thigh to tug me back on top of him. I'm pulled onto his chest, a leg on either side of him, before I'm shimmied upwards. Jiraiya's hot breath coats over my pussy, proving to me how wet I am. "Sit, sweetheart."

     I shift down a bit, the worry of suffocating my Sensei forcing me to stay hovered. "Where's my obedient girl at? I said sit," he repeats, hands gripping my thighs before I'm pulled the rest of the way down.

     "Jiraiya," I call when his tongue presses against my clit. My hands shoot forward, a fist full of his hair being clenched in my fingers. He hums in response, his tongue licking short strips against my nerve bundle.

     One, two, three more licks are pressed into me before he stops. "I... I don't... please? Sensei please?" My voice is rewarded, his tongue going back to work. "I don't... know what... what to talk about." The words stumble out of me as my hands brush through his hair, my fingers snagging on the knots.

     "I... I've... thought about this a lot and... oh my god." Jiraiya's tongue rolls around the rim of my hole before dipping into me, rubbing long strides against my walls. "You're really hot. Like... really hot and... I hate... I hate it when you're a flirty jackass with everyone."

     I'm lifted off his mouth, deep breaths being sucked in by the man under me. "That's because you're a jealous little thing. I'll stop being so flirty, sweet girl."

     I'm gently set back down on his mouth, his tongue jumping back and forth between my clit and my vagina. "Oh... okay... that's... that's good... fuck." My ears are filled with the sound of my Sensei slurping up my juices. Once my slick is cleaned up, his tongue is back to poking at my walls, quickly pushing me to my edge.

     "I... um... I don't know... how... you're going to fit." I can feel the smirk being pressed into me as Jiraiya continues his work, my pussy clenching around his tongue.

     When his mouth wraps around my clit, sucking it gently, my long-awaited orgasm washes over me. "Fucking Christ, Jiraiya. Holy fuck." My head tilts back, filling my sight with the ceiling as I grip his hair tighter. My hips thrust forward, his nose bumping into my clit as he dips his tongue back into my pussy.

     My orgasm works its way out, Jiraiya slurping and licking my mess up as it spills out. A couple more soft licks slide through my folds before I'm pulled back down his body, my dripping cunt resting against his chest as I pant above him.

     "That was quick, sweet thing. Maybe I shouldn't have toyed with you so much," he coos, rubbing soothing circles into my thighs. His face is smug and dripping as he looks up at me, quickly pushing me toward being ready for round two.

     "I'm... I'm sorry," I murmur, trying to calm my breathing down.

     "You don't need to be sorry, Princess. You did a good job," Sensei answers, his words calm as he shifts us on the bed again. I'm starting to enjoy getting manhandled by him.

     When he settles, I'm laid on top of him, my legs around his waist, his penis pressed into my bare pussy, and our hands tangled together.

     "Sensei," I huff out, my breath still heavy despite my attempts to calm it down. "You said you'd fuck me. I behaved, I was good, I passed every step." I whine, humping myself against him. The panic from earlier starts to rise in my chest again.

     "I know, little one, and I will, but you need to calm down again. You're getting too overwhelmed," Jiraiya says, his voice still soft and gentle as he denies me what I want. The disappointing words are followed by a handful of soft kisses to ease the denial.

     "You promised. You promised me. You said if I'm good you'd fill me up. You're not being fair." More whines tumble out of me as I grind against him. The feeling of being empty is so overwhelming it almost hurts.

     Sensei looks at me amused as he sways my hands next to his head. "I'll make you a deal, okay?" I eagerly nod, my pussy filled with sparks as I keep attacking my clit with his hard-on. "I will nestle myself into you, filling you up like I promised, but we're going to take a nap, okay?"

     "A nap?!" I yelp, another panicked wave washing through my chest. "Sensei-"

     "Yes, a nap. You're overwhelmed again, sweet girl. If I fuck you now, you're not going to enjoy it. I'll fill you up, all nice and full while we nap. Then, when we wake up I'll fuck you, okay? I promise, Princess."

     "Fine," I huff out, the sudden feeling of my body vibrating overflowing my nerves.

     Jiraiya untangles his fingers from mine, gently pushing me onto all fours. I stay still, arching over him as he tugs his boxers off. The last piece of clothing is thrown to the ground, joining the rest of our clothes.

     "Nice and easy, sweetheart," he orders, his warm hands wrapped around my hips once again. A long moan seeps from me as Sensei lowers me onto his dick. It stretches me out, pushing me to my limits as it sinks into me. By the time I'm back on top of his lap, I swear I can see it imprinted on my stomach.

     "Nap time, sweet thing," Jiraiya orders, his arms wrapping around my back before pulling me against his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder, letting his body heat seep into my shaky muscles. My fingers dance over his scar as the feeling of Sensei buried deep into me fills my head.

     "I don't see why you can't fuck me now."

     "Patience, little one," he orders, words coated in sleep.

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[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish - Part 12

Summary: Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: It has been a super long time since I've posted, like a year or more. I'm going to try to post weekly, but it depends on my schedule. As for a tag list, I'll be starting a new one – please send me a message to be added to the tag list. I don't always get to look through comments, so please message me.

Note Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 2700 (SO LONG)

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start

It turned out, in Angus's mind, the dog turned out to be a good distraction for you. It kept you from running around because you found yourself always training the dog. She was an angelic thing, who always got into some kind of trouble along the way. Your whole life you've been much of a rule follower, but as of recently you were finding you had a lot in common with the dog.

With this being said, you have yet to find a name you'd like for her. Often you found yourself filling the boredom by naming old fictional characters you loved when you remember the character Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables. Outside from being incredibly charming, he was intelligent, kind, and had patience and devotion for the ones he loved. You imagined you had a lot in common with Anne Shirley or you hope you did. And with that thought, you named the dog Blythe.

Jamie enjoyed watching you work with the mischievous creature. He could tell this was the first time you were filled with joy since you arrived in Scotland, "Why don't you go over and talk to the girl," Murtagh said from next to him.

He shook out of his daze, acting like he wasn't doing anything weird, "I like my bullocks, thank you."

Murtagh shook his head, "She wouldn't have that mutt if it wasn't for you, you know."

The men continue to work around and pack things away, "You and I both know she is a stubborn woman, if she wanted that dog enough she would have got it without myself or Ned mentioning a word."

"Coward," Murtagh whispered to Jamie.

"Damn right," he chuckled back.

You were working on the pups reactivity and word commands. While growing up you didn't get to have a pet, but your mother told you about when she raised dogs as a child. Your family moved around a lot, so having a pet wasn't in the cards. "Don't get too comfortable girl, we're going to be off soon," Angus barked at you from afar.

You turned around losing the smile on your face. With the time being away from the castle, you still hadn't earned much trust and you most definitely didn't give the men much energy. Outside of the pup, you were like a empty soul and it was coming to be more evident with every passing day. The dog plopped herself next to you watching Angus with her tongue out. Even Blythe was better respected and well liked by the men, even Angus though he'd deny it if anyone commented. Their acceptance of the dog made you more tolerant to their attitude and patriarchal manner. "Yes master," you bow.

"It's nice you are starting to learn your manners," he smirked back while making gestures towards the men.

With a deep inhale and low tolerance of attitude today you started to trudge towards your horse, "It was sarcasm, idiot," you grumbled.

He appeared to have the same tolerance of my attitude, "Watch your tongue girl or you'll get it cut off," Angus advanced forward while gripping his dagger.

Jamie and Murtagh were about to make a move when another man's voice appeared, "Everything alright miss," a British voice caught your attention.

Angus directed an aggressive response to the man. You turned to look at the man and in your daze started to register things about this man. He had a proper accent, boots, and his hair read a gentleman. He was clearly a British soldier and he could mean serious trouble. You turned to look at Jamie for a split second before charming a smile, "Excuse me sir," you asked, ignoring the comments from the other man to rile this man. This was not the time and place.

You could tell the tension with Dougal increased. He didn't trust what you would say, "I was asking if you were alright," he stepped forward again, ignoring the men behind you.

"Oh, I'm sorry you had to hear all that, sir. You shouldn't have had to hear a lady speak out of tune like that. It was very unbecoming of me," you looked embarrassed. Let's hope your acting skills are up to par. You ignored Murtagh mutter unbecoming to make fun of you, "It's just Angus here is a very, very, very," you paused to look at him, "Very distant cousin." You turn back to smile at the officer, "I sometimes gets so overwhelmed by his voice and tone I just lash out. I apologize," you put you hand on your heart. The dog looked up at you oddly, not recognizing your behaviors.

He smiled at you, not acknowledging the grumbling Scots behind you, "Not necessary, my lady I understand quite well actually." He bent down to scratch the puppy sitting in front of you, "I'm sorry your accent."

You scratch the back of you neck, "Right, I must sound so improper. I'm Y/N O'Mulligian. I came to visit some family here from the colonies at my brother's request. He said I could use some real life hard work. He likes to call me a debutante," you sent him a teasing smile.

Responding well to your story, he rises and smiles at you. A relief was lifted off your shoulders, you were almost past this moment when Dougal interrupted, "Enough," he shouted, "She is the guest of the clan MacKenzie and her business is none of yours." You clearly spoke too soon because the officers defenses shot back up.

"So off you go," Angus finished.

You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, "Are you sure you are alright, miss," he looked unshaking at you. He clearly felt so much privilege he did not care remotely about the strapping Scottish men standing around him. You wanted to smack yourself in the forehead how stupid these men had to be to not recognize the importance of this one man.

Dougal looked as if he was going to fight the man. You put your arm on his bicep to stop him, "Of course, good sir," you smile, "It's nice to know chivalry is not dead. I have more hard work to learn as you can see, it was very nice meeting you."

"Pleasure is all mine," he smiled back before frowning around the man watching this moment. He backed away into the blacksmith area to continue his work.

A minute passed by and you felt a firm grip on your arm drag you towards your horse, "It's best you didn't speak," Dougal scolded in your ear.

Anger surged through your body and it took every fiber of your being to say nothing. But as you were shoved onto your horse, you looked in the direction of the soldier and back at Jamie. You knew if you yelled it'd bring attention to Jamie, a fugitive to the English Army.

You continue to seethe on the ride. Blythe sat up, doing her best to see over the horses head to look ahead. "What's the dog's name," Jamie trotted next to you.

"Blythe," you muttered directly.

"What a cute English name," he emphasized on one word of his sentence.

You pulled back on your horse and halted, "Excuse me?"

He chose to stop with you, trying to not say directly what he'd like to say. It's been odd between you and Jamie. You weren't sure if you were pushing him away out of anger or fear, but none the less at this moment it appeared to be anger, "Nothing, it's a cute name."

A sarcastic laugh left your mouth, "No, no, you had a tone," the man halt to watch another scene unfold, "You clearly have something you want to add, some hidden message you feel you want to hide. Say it."

"Nothing, you seem to just like the English a bit more than an Irish Woman from the colonies I thought would," he said like his words meant nothing. It didn't matter the fact that maybe he felt jealous or he had a right to comment on any intention or likes you have. That comment engulfed your whole body into volcano, hell fire fiery.

Heat was written all over your face and Murtagh didn't have enough time cool down your fire with rationality, "The boy is just saying, you were awfully chummy with the Brit," Angus chimed in, "like a girl in heat."

And there goes Mt. St. Helen, "Un-Fucking believable, do you know how fucking dumb you are, like every single on of you are just egg head fucking dumb," you scream enough to make the echo quake the woods around you.

"Lass," Ned sent a warning your way.

Tears started to brim your eyes and Jamie knew he'd set you up to fail again. You point to Ned, clearly a man of reason, "That man back there," you continued to yell, "Was an English Officer out patrolling." You looked to Jamie and everything deflated in you. Everything from the past and the reality of your new world just collapsed in your soul, "I was trying to save you."

A sigh leaves your lips and you talk lightly while using your hands to emphasize your point, "Men are idiots and will always fall for charm, so I used mine to protect you all," you continued to go on, "Call me a hussy, I don't care. And that plan to charm the officer actually worked until you opened your trap, my lord," you bowed your head at Dougal. Something than broke in you, in that moment, you were exhausted at being angry. You had no more fight in you. You gave Jamie another look, "I was scared. I was trying to save you," you whisper.

Taking a deep breath, you dismounted from you horse, "Now where are you going," Angus shouted at you.

The anger stirred up again, spinning around to look at him, "To relieve myself, thank you," you speak loudly while stomping into the woods.

You knew what Dougal did to Jamie in the pubs and you weren't sure why. It wasn't much of your business, but you could see it chipping into Jamie. You were stuck again in your thoughts, give into this new world and let these people in or continue to bury who you knew you were inside a dark cave and never leave.

The ride to the next village was quiet, especially after finding Scottish men hung out on display. You wanted to vomit at the lack of humanity in the cruel act. If this was the normal the British did to Scots, I'm not all shocked of their lack of kindness and trust towards me. I'm sure I wasn't helping the matter either.

When you got to the pub, you chose to join in with the drinking. The owner made a bee line as Blythe trotted behind you and laid at your feet, "Lass, we do not let do-," he stopped mid sentence from the look you were giving him. You were sitting up straight, dead face.

"You were saying, sir," you answered curtly.

"What can I get for you miss," he finished instead.

"A pint of whatever, I am not picky," you said, resting your feet on the chair in front of you.

The men went a distance away from you, you imagine to process the thing they just witnessed. A man approached you with a smile on your face and you shake your head putting your other foot on a chair and shoving it away from your table. He quickly turn around, "You'd make more friends if you weren't so prickly."

Murtagh patted at the dog, "My expression and acts are nothing but kind, sir." He shook his head, "Plus, I don't need any more friends when I only need you."

He chuckles, looking at Jamie, "It was a kind thing you did with the soldier. I'll be the only one to admit, that was a good eye you have."

"Don't think much of it, it was also self preservation because I'm not a exactly the kind British soldiers have a keen sense to protect," the man brought you your pint and you started to drink while you viewed in your surroundings.

He pointed at you, "You like everyone to think you're this cold hearted she witch."

"Maybe I am those things," you said like it didn't bother me to have that reputation.

Murtagh shook his head, "You are quite the opposite lass and the only person you are hurting are you." You roll your eyes sighing as he looks at your with a smirk, "And maybe a red headed boy who I suspect would do anything to see you smile once again." You sit up straighter as Murtagh stands while looking at you, while gesturing to Jamie. He lifts his eyebrows speaking you the truth, "Don't think I only talk to you because your good company. I get sick of seeing the boy mope around with his worry for you. A single smile from you can set his day."

You glare at him as your cheeks warm red, "Mind your business."

When he walks away, you sit and continue to process your reality and options. Every now and again you catch a glance at Jamie. You could see his expression and the change in him over the last few weeks. You stand walking your glass over to the bar with Blythe walking behind you. You could tell Dougal was about to start his speech. He wouldn't need Jamie today if you guessed right. Those hanging men were part of this community they didn't need to see Jamie's scars. You leaned against a pillar near Jamie, "You alright," you asked him catching eyes with Murtagh.

You shake off his knowing look. Jamie stood up straight looking at you bewildered from the sudden change in your demeanor, "Are you talking to me?"

"Don't make it a thing, just answer the question," you whisper.

"Aye, I'm fine," he whispers back, glancing at you for a second too long into silence. He clears his thoughts, "If you don't mind me asking, what changed your mind with speaking to me?"

You smirk, "Murtagh paid me."

He shook his head, "Sure," he was trying to hold back a smile. Something appeared to pop up in his head, "Look Deoiridh, I'm sorry about."

"No," you stopped him, "Jamie, I'm stubborn and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not from a place like this, so."

You noticed a change in his eyes when you said his name instead of Mr. MacTavish. This is where he stopped you, "I only want to help."

"Does that mean you agree I'm stubborn because Murtagh implied I was prickly earlier and that's why I don't make friends," you say while trying to hold back a grin.

He shook his head making his red hair shake with it, “You see comments like that are a trap and I will not be stepping on that one.”

“Smart man,” you say to him.

“And now a compliment, I might think you are wanting to be my friend again,” he whispered back with a smirk.

You see Dougal getting ready to do your speech, “I should be getting out of here and up to my room. I shouldn’t be down here when,” you stopped to look at Dougal, “Well good night.”

“Goodnight Y/N,” he whispered back.

“And Jamie, just for transparency sake, the jury is still out if we are friends,” he paused appearing to hold his breath. You offer a small smile, “I need you to walk over to Murtagh and tell him I was nice then I'll consider being your friend. You know for the sake of proving Murtagh wrong. It's the price you have to pay for my friendship.” And before he can respond, you and Blythe make your way upstairs.

[lizzieislife94x]

Personal Trainer (e.o)

Lizzie needed a new personal trainer for endgame and you got the job

Lizzie x G!P reader

If you have a request drop me a message I do them right away 😇

Y/ns POV:

"Thats us done for today ladies you all done amazing ill see you next week" I say wiping my face as I finish teaching a group work out I need to take a breather my next client is due any minute I've been working with her for 2 months the one and only Elizabeth Olsen I couldn't believe when I got the job she's hilarious and always so nice and down to earth I'm snapped out of my thoughts as she walks over "good evening y/n" she says with a giggle

"ah miss Olsen good evening can you give me 2 minutes I need to run to the bathroom but I'll be back in no time" I laugh as she slaps my shoulder "omg gross y/n go hurry" she giggles as I go do a quick pee once I'm done I wash my hands and head back out to lizzie doing some stretches, I can't help but Stare at her ass fuck it's so perfect, no y/n snap out of it don't think like a sleazy man your better than that "oh your back I started to do some warm up stretches " she smiles looking at my eyeline fuck she caught me "ok let's get started let's do some warm ups 20 jumping Jack's let's go" I start doing them and lizzie follows my lead as she stands infront of me "9..10..11" I breath out fuck I should have wore tight shorts I can feel my dick swinging like there's no tomorrow "18..19...20" I stop and try to fix myself subtly, I need to change "great work lizzie I need to go change my shorts these are to baggy and annoying me " I lie "you can do some more jumping Jack's till I get back" as I turn to walk away she grabs my wrist "y/n I think you should keep them on I enjoy the view to much" I feel the heat rising to my face has she been checking out my dick, naughty girl "are you sure" I rub my neck and look at the floor

"yep it's one of my favourite parts about coming to train every week" she states with a sly smile "ok Olsen let's do some squats then lunges" after a 30 minute warm up and lots of well noticed attention on my dick I wipe my face and throw lizzie a clean towel "ok boxing gloves let's practice those right hooks " I get into position as lizzie goes to work she's improved a lot "well done lizzie you've came so far those hooks are lethal " I say genuinely proud of how far she's came "ok let's get you on the treadmill for 10 minutes to finish up" we head to the treadmill as she starts her run I sit and watch with my arms crossed fuck her ass bounces just right I feel a twitch in my Shorts no fuck no not here "um lizzie that was great for today ill see you next week I need to go to the bathroom have a great night" I say my goodbye and jog to the bathroom and head into a stall looking down at my dick "seriously dude looking at lizzies perfect ass jiggle and you wake up"

I mumble and hear a giggle from the other side of the door "glad I'm not the only one who looks" fuck its lizzie "shit I'm sorry lizzie" she just giggles "it's OK but can you come out here so I can talk to you and not a door" she says sweetly "I ahhh I can't right now lizzie I have a problem " I sigh leaning my head against the door "y/n you either open the door and come out or I come in" it sounds like she has a smirk I sigh in defeat and open the door as she comes in and locks it instantly looking down at my harden member "fuck" she almost moans out I can't help myself I hold her cheeks and crash my lips against hers pulling her flush against me in a heated kiss after a minute we break apart for air "I wanted to to do that for so long " she confesses running her hands down towards my dick i feel her pushing my shorts and boxers down and moan "if you don't want this just say" she whispers as she leans forward kissing my chest "I want this so fucking bad lizzie " she smirks and wraps her hand around my dick and starts to jack me off slowly "fuck you're so big baby, you're gonna wreck my pussy" she moans making me moan more I start to push her gym leggings down and cup her bare core, oh god she's soaking wet that is almost enough to make me bust "so fucking wet lizzie, is this all for me" I bite my lip and her hand works me faster and I insert my fingers into her dripping core "fuckk y/n all for you, shit that feels amazing"

I pick up my pace fingering her tight cunt, I slide my fingers out and suck them one by one locking eye contact and smirking "bend over princess " I state and she giggles bending over giving me the perfect view of her ass and pussy I get into position behind her and rub my member through her fold teasing her clit gently slapping it "fuck this is finally happening" she moans out as I slide my dick inside her slowly fuck she's so fucking tight and warm and dripping I need to compose myself or I'm gonna nut to quick, I slide in till all 8 inches disappear inside her "oh fuckkkkk y/n please fuck me" she whimpers I grip her hips and start to thrust slowly enjoying the feeling if her wrapped around my cock "mmh fuck so tight and wet lizzie, are you on the pill" I moan as I increase my thrusts snapping my hips back and forth "yes yes yesssss" she screams and I continue to thrust feeling lizzie cum all over my cock, I continue to thrust chasing my own high the sounds of her wet pussy being destroyed by cock is fucking glorious "fuckkk lizzie im" I breath out slamming in one final time shooting my load deep inside her waiting cunt as she cums around my dick again "gonna cum..." I breath out leaning forward kissing her back, I keep inside her for a minute before sliding out smirking at my cum dripping out of her cunt as she whimpers "fuck lizzie that was amazing" I say looking at her and we both giggle "now I think this work out should be added to our weekly work out " she says biting her lip "fuck definitely " i smirk watching her, after a few minutes we leave the bathroom and I walk her to her car "see you next week miss Olsen " I wink and walk back inside

AN: if you want anything message me requests I do them right away 😇word count is 1.3k hope you enjoy feedback welcome good or bad (i hope you guys enjoy these bc its 3am and ive been doing these for hours lmao its a lil more time consuming than i thought having to go over everything to highlight and bold everything that needs to be haha, show them some love please votes ect<3

[welcometoteyvat]

fake ga-ming voicelines (prerelease, some more delusional, some less. please give more hcs about him)

edit: apparently voiceline leaks just dropped so PLEASE no spoilers <3 if these are wrong that's too bad they're canon in my heart!!!

About Yun Jin: Besides being a great opera performer, Sir Yun's taste in tea is impeccable! Although she keeps asking me to join her at Heyu Tea House... their tea just doesn't have the same flavor as the tieguanyin from Xinyue Kiosk. Speaking of her, one of our clients has just developed a new strain—I promised to bring some for her when I come back to Liyue Harbor!

About Xiao: You mean Senior Xiao! Hehe, so you know him too! Next time, can you bring him along with you to one of my performances in the harbor? I've been trying to get him to come for a long time, but he always refuses... oh, good idea! Next time I'll hold it at Wangshu Inn, just for him!

About Xiangling: That girl always by Guoba's side, right? Man Chai seems to like her a lot, especially the cornbread buns she makes! To be honest, some of the things she cooks are a little too spicy for me, but otherwise she’s an excellent chef with unmistakable talent. No wonder her companion is a minor deity… wait, what? A major deity?

About Keqing: Thanks to her invitation and sponsorship, our Mighty Mythical Beast performances have been getting more and more attention in the harbor! She's very straightforward and speaks her mind about everything, and always has novel ideas! Although we haven’t talked much, I really admire her mindset and determination. It’s not easy to forge your own path forward, especially for someone of her standing.

About Chongyun: I've run into him once or twice on the road to Liyue Harbor. He didn’t seem to like talking that much when we met, but I’ve heard he’s actually quite outgoing! He wields a greatsword too—maybe he can train with me as the suanni’s tail? Of course, I wouldn’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want; I'm sure he's already busy! It would just be nice to have a wushou partner for once.

About Xinyan: I managed to catch one of Xinyan's performances when I had some free time after work. There weren’t many people in the audience, but her music was so energetic it completely made up for the quieter atmosphere. Originally, I was thinking about asking her to join our lion dance troupe as a drummer, but I’m glad to hear she's made a name for herself since then! I should properly introduce myself sometime!

About Zhongli: He once asked me whether I've heard about the legend of the solitary suanni after one of Iron Tongue Tian's stories. When I said yes, he launched into a really detailed discussion of Chenyu Vale's local belief system, and even told me some stories I haven't heard about a carp adeptus. It's amazing that he has so much knowledge on all sorts of folklore, as a funeral consultant no less!

About Xianyun: ... Who? im sorry i was going to put something about the adepti here but gave up trying to think of something and now it's just a joke line. suggestions welcome tho 🫶

About Yelan: Ah, that lady—sometimes I see her lingering around Yanshang Teahouse. They place regular orders of tea leaves from Yilong Wharf. She's very polite and even petted Man Chai once or twice, although I feel like there's more to her than meets the eye... well, business is business, and they've never caused any trouble for Sword and Strongbox, so whatever she does isn't much of a concern to me.

very long notes:

generally i feel like what's mentioned in chara voicelines tend to have a lot less substance than the actual relationship, so in my head some of them are closer w gaming than i wrote.

always welcoming suggestions!!!!! PLEASE share the brainrot with me i'm dying here OTL please please.

i'd like to write an "about xingqiu" but i bully my richboy son and he's already had like 12 other people comment on him in canon it's fine if ga-ming doesn't know him

everything's just for fun etc etc. don't take it too seriously

watch all of these be completely wrong!!!

similarly if any of these end up being right, i will SCREAM

the only ones i really really want to happen are with yun jin and xiao if they don't have voicelines i'll die

senior xiao comes from my headcanon (copium) that they'll keep the mentor disciple relationship (?) from that one concept art if you know you know. it also comes from this absolutely delicious fic

[blueeyedrat]

Games I played in 2023.

Last year was stable. This year has been... less so. I've bounced between getting out more and shutting myself in more, and between trying to take better care of myself and letting small issues and stressors start to pile up. My steady job got a lot less steady, and I'm now out of work and finding ways to pass the time. Like video games, for instance. Shall we?

(2022 ⇐ 2023)

Moncage

This was another decent year for getting caught up on games I've tried out and expressed an interest in before. Moncage, INSIGHT, Railbound, URBO, and a few other games you'll see further down the list. I also followed up on some games I've played in the past like Train Valley 2, and even dipped back into some old mainstays like Eternal. One of these days I'll find time for Minecraft or Dwarf Fortress again.

I more or less broke even on my backlog this year, chipping away at smaller games from assorted bundles I've picked up over the years, but also picking up some new bundles to add to the pile. So many games, so little time.

Before We Leave

While we're talking about the backlog, here's a game I've been interested in for a while. A settlement builder in a solar system of small planets, with a quaint aesthetic of wooden ships and massive space whales. I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this one. The automation and logistics aspect is an interesting spin on the genre, even it gets a bit complex at times. Never too challenging, though, and there's enough depth and nuance to hold my interest all the way to the final stages and on towards the stars. I'm looking forward to the upcoming sequel.

The Legend of Zelda (series)

It's hard to go wrong with Zelda. I have fond memories of Skyward Sword, Wind Waker HD, and Breath of the Wild, and with a new one on the way, it seemed like as good a time as any to catch up on my library. In order: Link's Awakening DX, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, The Minish Cap, and the DLC quests from Breath of the Wild I never got around to. Our Wii U saw more activity than it's gotten in years.

Opinions on each: Awakening was a fun, solid 2D adventure that never overstayed its welcome, though the game shows its age at a few points. Likewise, Ocarina was an interesting look at the series' jump to 3D, but was also somewhat janky at times and it took a while for me to really get into a groove with it. (I think the turning point might've been the Water Temple. I actually liked the Water Temple. Ye gods.) Majora was a sizeable improvement gameplay-wise and played with the format in neat ways, though I'll admit that I butted heads with the time loop mechanic more than once.

I have a particular nostalgia for Minish Cap; some of my earliest memories of Nintendo games are watching my friend's GBA over his shoulder on the bus ride to elementary school. After so long, this was the one I was most curious to see if it held up. Answer: yes. Minish Cap is officially my favorite 2D Zelda, and the highlight of this little retro binge. There's a lot of charm to it, and it just feels good to play.

It may be a bit too recent for nostalgia, but I almost forgot how much I loved Breath of the Wild. My old file was exactly how I left it, and playing through the extra content was a good way to re-acquaint myself with the "new" Zelda style before…

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

This was a daunting one. If I had to sum up Tears in one sentence, it would be this: There is so much game in this game. Even compared to its predecessor, there's so much to do and so many more layers of exploration and interaction, with a wide array of smaller improvements that make it a smoother experience overall.

I wish I could say I put as much time into this game as I did into Breath of the Wild, and I did put a lot of time into it, but… some other things got in the way. Summer is when my work got a lot busier and a good amount more stressful, and this was a game I slowly chipped away at whenever I found time for it. I got pretty much everything I wanted out of it, and after the credits rolled, I put it away and haven't touched it since. I should change that. I'm sure there are more good times to be had.

Mutazione

The word that comes to mind to describe Mutazione is fascinating. It's a point-and-click narrative, light on gameplay, heavy on story and character. Of the other games I've played recently, the vibes remind me the most of Sable – quiet and contemplative, where all you want to do is observe and take in the world and characters that are being presented to you. It dovetails nicely with the story itself, which largely consists of a curious little soap opera playing out around characters who are along for the ride. The writing is some of the best I've seen this year, and gets real fuckin' raw in ways I wasn't expecting. This one will stick with me for a while.

Pikmin 3 / The Wild at Heart

I've never had the focus or dexterity for a really complex RTS, but Pikmin's always been a little more approachable. Played the second game in the series a while back, picked up a used copy of Pikmin 3 at a local convention this year, and with another one coming out, it seemed as good an excuse as any to make it a double feature.

Both games have their charms. Pikmin has a distinct style and sense of scale that's hard to replicate, and a good variety of environments and encounters and puzzles. The Wild at Heart is smaller in scope as a Pikmin-like, and hits some familiar beats while remixing some of the core ideas in interesting ways. The latter also put more of an emphasis on character and narrative, something I'd like to see fleshed out more, but what we got was still satisfying. Both games were fun, and I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Pikmin 4 soon.

Chants of Sennaar / Heaven's Vault

Another double feature – one game that caught my eye immediately, and another I've been curious about for a while. For a long time I've had a fondness for constructed languages, with scripts and writing systems of particular interest. The idea of decoding such a language lends itself well to a puzzle game, and these two approach it in different ways: Chants of Sennaar features multiple cultures in a Tower of Babel-esque setting, each with their own quirks and traits to learn and translate between, and their own puzzles to solve. Heaven's Vault opts for depth, with a single language and a vast history that you slowly unravel through exploration.

My verdict for both games is the same. The language puzzles are really cool and interesting! I want more of them! …Everything else in between gets sort of meandering at times. Not enough to drag down the overall experience, but perhaps enough to overstay its welcome. Sennaar filled the space with a mish-mash of puzzles and stealth, which felt oddly paced at times. Heaven's Vault's pacing was hit even harder with slow exploration and visual novel-esque story segments – fine enough for one playthrough, but the amount of wandering and backtracking involved makes me hesitant to go back and play NG+ to see the rest of the content. I don't have the patience to play a visual novel multiple times to see what all of the dialogue options do. The story's fine as is, and I got what I wanted out of it.

Even with their faults, these are still probably the games that influenced me the most in 2023. If anyone asks me, as a game dev, what I would make given unlimited time, resources, and creative freedom, from now on I'm going to point to Chants of Sennaar and say "something like that". I want more games like this to exist. I will make them myself, if I have to.

F-Zero 99

This wasn't the only racing game I played this year – a bunch of new content was added to Mario Kart 8, and I also pulled Horizon Chase Turbo from my backlog and spent a bit of time on that – but this is definitely the one that made the biggest splash. I've never played an F-Zero game, and it controls differently enough from other racers I've played that I had to unlearn a lot of muscle memory, but I got the hang of it after a while. The 99-player model is frantic in an enjoyable way, and races are quick enough that it's easy to pick up and play in short bursts… which is good, because short bursts are all my nerves can take with this one. Seriously this game is stressful. Fun, but stressful. Maybe one of these days I'll actually win a 99-player race.

Cobalt Core

I've been playing... a lot of Cobalt Core these past couple months. I don't jump on every roguelite or deckbuilder that comes out, but when one does get its hooks in me, they get in deep. This is another one of those games where everything just works. Great music and pixel art, fun characters (all traits shared with its predecessor, Sunshine Heavy Industries, which I also liked this year), a simple but engaging narrative, and an addicting gameplay loop that I can easily sink an hour into whenever the mood strikes me. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it doesn't need to – it takes a lot of ideas from games that have come before it, and builds on them to create something really enjoyable. One of my favorite games of the year, without question.

Terra Nil

As we build up, so too must we tear down. This is another one I wanted to get to sooner or later, and managed to slip it in during the last couple weeks of the year. It's also a type of game I want to play more often; a lot of the time when I play sim and builder games all I really want in the end is to build nice-looking homes and environments, and Terra Nil spins that into a puzzle game where those things are the only goal. It was a nice time, but left me wanting more – either more content in Terra Nil, or more games like it.

Eastward

This game is… a curiosity. A solid action-adventure game with a memorable cast of characters and impeccably detailed pixel art. Gameplay flips back and forth between slow-paced story segments and fun setpiece levels with a decent variety of tools for combat and puzzle-solving. The biggest sticking point is the narrative: the pacing and worldbuilding felt odd and disjointed in places, particularly in the back half, sometimes feeling like it's saying too much and often like it's said too little. Yet throughout all that, it never failed to be compelling, and I was hooked all the way 'til the end. What's more, the idea of the upcoming Octopia DLC flipping the entire game and setting on its head has my interest thoroughly piqued – something to look forward to in the coming year.

-

Here's to 2024, and here's hoping things turn around sooner or later.

[smol-nevi]

You know...I took the entire last raid tier off from FFXIV. I was so burnt out. I couldn't even look at it. I got to such a peak with what I was doing on an individual level that I've got an orange aDPS parse in P5S (that's the one that's just your damage and your own buffs, mostly good for tracking rotation improvements). For the more common rDPS metric I had straight purples. That was without any parse runs and a not-hardcore group. I literally could not get a better parse under those circumstances and I kept beating my head on trying anyway until I wasn't even tolerable to be around.

I'm actually excited about Dawntrail? I'm cleaning out my inventory a bit (major feat, I've been playing since ARR and I have five retainers). I did something like three runs of Delubrum Reginae last night with my partner because they want to finish a relic and I just love Bozja that much.

I'm so tempted to spend some time in Eureka farming bunny boxes alone while everyone else is leveling and doing Dawntrail...

It feels nice to be able to be back. I'm not sure if I want to raid yet or not, but I'll play it by ear (aka if someone I know needs a dancer/ranged phys, I'm in, lol). Whatever the case though at least I know I proved whatever I thought I needed to with my numbers, and I'm a lot better at spotting burnout in myself and others now.

See, the difference between burnout and no burnout is that I couldn't even remember what I used to do for fun outside raiding, and it didn't sound fun if I did remember. Then I quit, slept for a while, eventually got my shit back together, and suddenly horked up an entire novel—of fanfic, but that counts—within 4 months, and then another in another 4 months. (Tellingly, both of them plus the third one I'm working on are about a lot of things, but they're all heavily about the devastating mental effects of burnout.) Now I'm like, do I even want to raid, if I could be doing all this other cool stuff? And yeah, kind of. My FC and our friends had a huge photoshoot to say goodbye to Endwalker and it reminded me of what's good about raiding: shooting the shit, laughing when things explode, being social around people on a schedule. I got way too focused on the math and not the people.

Slightly in my defense, it is hard to keep your head up when you run the same content for that many months. We cleared P4S week 31 and P8S week 34, if I'm remembering right. But also, absolutely not in my defense, until I intentionally took a short break during the P8S slog I had missed one single raid day since the second tier of Eden, and that was only because I'd had top surgery the literal day before and couldn't hold the controller yet for long enough without it seriously hurting. By the next raid night I was already back in it. I've never had perfect attendance in anything so that was a very hard record to let go of. What I needed was to let it the fuck go about six months before I actually did.

Anyway I'm literally just rambling because that's what I do, but I'm excited to be back. I think I'll level pictomancer because yeah, everyone is, but that's fun too. Bandwagons can be good or people wouldn't get on them. Dancer has been my main since Shadowbringers dropped and one of my favorite memories is still spending hours rolling over the Gyr Abanian maps with a bunch of half-dancer, half-gunbreaker fate trains like a steamroller covered in blenders and bayonets, laughing with strangers. I'm hoping pictomancer and viper will be that way too. It was good shit and I'm looking forward to it. I'll have a slightly late start because I've got a friend visiting through Friday, but that's fine. The point is friends anyway, and I need to remember that this time.

[bi-bard]

Lizzy McAlpine Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Jason Todd - Jason Todd Imagine [Titans (HBO)]

Title: Lizzy McAlpine Songs That Would Describe a Relationship with Jason Todd

Pairing: Jason Todd X Reader

Word Count: 2,089 words

Warning(s): unhealthy grieving, injury, argument, yelling, mention of sex

Author's Note: There are like four of these currently planned for Jason (counting this one). It's becoming a problem. You guys need to stop encouraging me.

**Not intentionally written in chronological order**

----------------------

erase me

Don't answer me I'm calling just to hear you scream And you're fading But he feels like you in between

It was all about grief.

Not that I wanted to admit that.

I wanted to believe that this was just me changing as time went on. It had nothing to do with anything else around me. I was just growing. Exploring.

After Jason's death, my decline was fast.

At first, I was isolating. I hid away from the entire group. I only trained on my own. I spent most of my day curled up in my room. Someone would try to stop by, usually Gar trying to get me to eat. Sometimes it was Dick trying to get me to just walk around the tower for a little while or just talk to him.

After a while, I started forcing myself out of the tower. I would go out and find the best place to hide in. Anywhere with loud music and flashing lights and too many people that I could spend just a bit of time devoting my time and energy to. I would overwhelm my senses just to shut off my thoughts for a few hours.

I called that growing. Getting better. Moving through the grief.

No one agreed with me.

I was tired of the worried looks. I just ignored them.

Every night, I would come back to see Dick waiting up for me. I would ignore him, going back to hide in my room before he could lecture me.

I wasn't blind.

I knew when I felt someone watching me.

I ignored it for a while. But when I caught sight of someone on the roof of a building, I knew that I couldn't avoid an inevitable confrontation.

I sighed, turning into an alley. I jumped up onto a fire escape and climbed up.

The figure was still on the roof, looking around the street frantically. I almost chuckled. They'd lost sight of me.

"Who the hell are you," I called. The figure froze, their back still facing me. "Who the hell are you and why have you been watching me?"

I stepped forward, ready to pick a fight if I needed to.

And then, the figure turned around.

Jason.

I stepped back immediately. I shook my head, convincing myself that I had been imagining things. That was it. I had finally lost it. I would have to tell Dick that he was right. I needed help.

"You can't be real," I mumbled, more to myself than Jason.

"(Y/n)-"

"Don't," I snapped. "Don't say that. You... You died. I watched you. You can't... I've gone crazy."

I went to walk away, wanting nothing more than to just run home.

"(Y/n)," Jason stepped closer to me, grabbing my wrist before I could walk away.

I stared down at his hand. I didn't know if I should've pulled away or stayed or yelled or just... anything.

"I wanted to know you were okay," he admitted.

I pushed him back. "I... I have spent so long grieving you. So long. I... How are you... Why..."

Jason stepped forward again. I hit his chest.

"I tried so fucking hard to distract myself!" I shouted. "To forget you for just a little bit and then you just show up again. And you weren't even gonna talk to me? You were just going to watch me from the roof? Seriously?"

"I was scared of this exact reaction!" he yelled back. "You think it didn't kill me? I watched you do this shit every fucking night! It fucking hurt! Watching the person that you love kiss and touch and..."

He trailed off for a moment like the last word would hurt him. I couldn't blame him.

"I just wanted to forget," I mumbled. "Just for a minute."

I looked down for a moment.

"We...," I shook my head and looked back at him. "We need to go tell the others. Dick and Gar- God, Gar's gonna be so happy to see you-"

"I can't."

I felt my heart drop. "What?"

"You can't tell anyone about me."

"Jason..."

He leaned in and kissed me. I almost fell apart. Right in that moment. It had been so long... too long.

He leaned away again.

"Don't tell anyone you saw me," he repeated. "Please."

"Promise me that you're real first," I muttered. "I'll... I'll do anything, but please... just promise me."

"I'm real," he replied. "I promise."

I let the words sink in for a moment before I kissed him again. I cupped the sides of his face, like that would cause time around us to freeze.

Jason pulled away again. He grinned at me.

"Come back to me," I whispered. "Soon."

He nodded. "Sooner than you think, I promise."

I stepped away fully. I waved to him as I made it back to the fire escape.

When I made it home that night, Dick was waiting up for me.

"We need to talk," he said. Like he did every night.

"Okay," I replied. Instead of ignoring him.

He looked shocked at my response.

"I'm ready to talk."

No need to avoid... no need to forget.

an ego thing

Ooh-oh, I was trying to be honest If this is what I get, I won't be honest anymore Oh, if this is what I get I swear I won't be honest anymore

Jason was getting cabin fever.

There was no doubt about that.

After we had all spent so long in the Titan tower doing nothing but training, we all were getting to that point.

But Jason... Jason seemed to miss the violence more than he missed helping people. It was alarming. I knew that he missed being Robin. He missed working with Batman. He missed wearing a mask. But I didn't want him to jump back into that work if all he missed was the ability to do whatever he wanted with little consequence.

I just never wanted him to feel like I didn't support him. Or that I was attacking him.

We were on the couch. My head was resting on his leg. I was listening to him rant about the subject again. I was listening, trying to truly process every word. I just wanted to help him.

"Is it really that bad that I want to actually kick some ass after I've spent months stuck in here training?" he rambled. "I just want to get back to what I'm good at."

I took a deep breath. "Can I... Can I say something?"

He looked down at me and nodded.

"Do you think maybe just wanting to go kick ass is what's making Dick and Bruce hesitant to put you back out there," I asked.

"What?" his eyebrows scrunched up.

"I just... I wonder if they're hoping all the work will help you see your work as more about helping and saving people than you do getting to kick people's asses."

I pushed myself to sit up and turn to him.

He didn't speak up for a moment. I instantly felt like I had gone too far. I reached out and touched his arm, trying to get some response out of him.

"Jason," I said. "I... I just think that you got a little carried away in Gotham. Focused more on the violence than the protection. I want to see you focus on something productive. Surely, you've seen enough people use violence for fun to know that it's not healthy."

"You're really gonna compare me to those guys," he asked.

"No, no, not at all," I shook my head. "I'm saying that there getting caught in that mindset can be harmful."

"But you're saying I'm already there."

"I'm saying you can change it and be better," I explained. "A lot of the guys that you've faced are too far gone."

"How long I have then?" he stood up, raising his voice.

I was already confused about how we got to this point, but I felt like I was too far down this road to back down. I needed to make my point known.

Jason didn't wait for a response. "Go on, tell me."

"I didn't say that you were going to end up like that," I shook my head. I stood up, planning on comforting him. "I... I'm trying to help, Jason-"

"No, you just want to be able to say you tried," he snapped, stepping away from me. "You wanna be able to brag that you tried to save me before I was 'too far gone', right?"

He started walking away like I wasn't going to be able to respond to him.

"I don't fucking want any of that," I said. He kept walking. "Jason! You can't just storm away when you don't like my answer!"

He didn't even react. He just kept walking.

Once he was out of sight, I sighed and sat back down on the couch. I ran my hands over my face.

In my heart, I knew I was right. I knew that I had made a good point.

Maybe that's why I held my ground so firmly.

Why I didn't follow after him when I absolutely should have.

Pancakes for Dinner

I'll try to hide the way I feel But I'll just wanna shout What do I have to lose right now?

"Where's Jason," I asked as I stormed into the Batcave.

At first, I only saw two people. Two men just standing there. Bruce Wayne and some guy that I didn't recognize.

"Who the hell are you," Bruce asked, turning to face me.

I saw Jason sitting behind him. I ignored Bruce, walking forward to stand next to Jason. The other man seemed to be checking on something.

"(Y/n)," Jason grinned at me from behind his Robin mask. "How'd you find this place?"

"Followed you one night," I answered quickly. "Are you okay?"

"Who is this," Bruce asked again. I waved him off.

"I'm okay, just a rough night," Jason explained. "This is (Y/n)! We're old friends!"

Friends. Yeah. Just old friends.

That's why I snuck into the secret hideout of a billionaire that's secretly a vigilante.

Just friends.

"That's Bruce," Jason continued to me. "And this is Alfred."

"Hi," I awkwardly greeted.

I stood next to Jason silently as Alfred explained that Jason needed to take it easy for a little while. Alfred walked out after that. Bruce looked between the two of us. He almost seemed to glare at me before he turned around and walked out.

"He's a ray of sunshine," I mumbled, leaning against the desk.

"He's doing his job," Jason replied. "You did just break into his secret base."

"He should've thought about something like that happening before he took you in."

"How'd you know I got hurt," he asked, ignoring my comment.

"I keep up," I explained. "You're my best friend, Jason. I worry about you."

I saw some look cross his face for a moment. One that I imagine crossed my face when Jason called us old friends. Disappointment.

I paused.

I had to be imagining things.

Jason looked away from me, turning to look toward the door of the hideout more than anything.

"Jason," I said.

The impulsive part of my brain was beating the logical part. The logical part didn't even know it was in a fight.

He looked back at me. The disappointment was gone, but that didn't seem to stop me.

I stepped closer to him.

I took a deep breath before leaning down and pressing my lips to his. I was ready to run. Turn and run and probably vomit.

But then, he kissed me back. He sat up a bit, cupped the back of my head, and kissed me back. It was all so... soft. Like we were both nervous that the other would suddenly push the other away.

I pulled away first. "God, I love you."

Jason chuckled, his hand moving from the back of my head to the side of my face. "Took me getting hurt for you to admit that?"

"Didn't hear you rushing to say it," I muttered.

"Maybe I should make up for lost time then," he teased, brushing his lips against mine again.

"Maybe you should," I replied.

He pecked my lips before pulling away enough to mumble to me, "I love you."

He repeated that pattern a few more times as I happily tried to follow his lips in the hopes of getting a longer kiss.

I was ready to spend eternity just like that.

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