#i've started taking PMers even though they make me feel like my dad and hannah told me santa is bringing me ear plugs lol

[bitch-butter]

Dear Anon idk what happened but your Ask has disappeared! god willing you see this, wherever you are ~ 💕🎄🥂

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

that my time has come and gone and nobody cares about what i do or don't do so i should just like enjoy my retirement lol

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

it's the one thing i do where i feel completely comfortable and completely myself.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

a. in the morning i write at the kitchen counter. i get up around 5 and shower, feed fiona, and make a cup of coffee. i sit in a tall black chair i have to be very careful getting into because i'm short. i keep the lights off so the light doesn't leak down the hall and wake hannah up, and after a few bites of her breakfast fiona will usually hop onto the counter for a pet then go back to sleep with her. i look out over the kitchen, which is small but relatively clean (cluttered countertops because hannah loves kitchen accessories), and our fridge which has tons of pictures of hannah and her friends, postcards from my friends who live in other places, and a big picture of Princess Diana i tore out of a magazine. my coffee cup has strawberries on it, and i drink and write in the dark for about an hour before i get up and get ready for the day.

b. in the afternoon i write at work, but only when the girl who sits behind me isn't in the office. next week i'll move into the clergy offices where my Real desk is, but the woman i'm replacing is retiring at the end of the day and until then i sit at the front desk. it's not a good desk, it's too small, and the office chair is uncomfortable because it was configured for a pregnant woman's body and i can't reset it. it's usually really quiet in here, which is such a beautiful change from where i used to be. on the wall over my desk i get to watch security cameras, and on days when hannah comes to pick me up after work i can see the lights of her car pulling into the alley and it makes me feel loved. because it isn't my real desk nothing on it is made to stay, but i inherited a plant from the lady who retires today. i'm taking it home later.

c. at night before bed or when i can't sleep i write on the couch, which has lots of pink pillows with strawberry motifs, in our living room. i prefer having the lamp on, but sometimes i just turn the tree on because it's pink and beautiful with multi-colored lights and ornaments we bought together and ones given to us by our friends and family. to the left is our big door to the balcony, and it looks out over the pool in the summertime but now just looks out over the covered space and at night we can see our neighbors balconies lit up with christmas lights. i put my feet up on the coffee table which is bad manners, but i need to be able to melt into nothing but the story, so i keep the TV off or low and light frasier fir scented candles so nothing in the world seems bad. our upstairs neighbors are new, and their baby screams and screams and screams until the sun comes up, then i move and sit at the kitchen counter.