#i've so many useless stuff that i can't get rid of

[thereaperisabitch]

I don't know if anyone will see this, but my mouth hurts and I'm stressed, so thank you @strang3lov3 for tagging me 🫶🏻😘

I'm actually moving out, so let's pretend it's a giveaway. Some stuff might seem uncool, but the nice things are already boxed, so ...

I feel shy 'bout taggin', even my mutuals so, sorry in advance: @the-scandalorian @morning-star-joy @pedrospatch

[galsinspace]

I have so much completely useless knowledge in my head. And I don't even mean like, fandom stuff that at least interests other people.

I mean that I've been stalking this one hypergamy subreddit for months. It's for fans of one insane youtuber whose videos I've never watched, what I'm interested in and know a lot about now is specifically the subreddit and the community on there.

There are several mods but one of them rules the place with an iron fist. It wasn't quite this way when I started reading it, but now almost every post gets locked, some of them very quickly. This seems to be a strategy to keep the subreddit "on topic" — an ongoing problem for the community. See, the problem is that all the hypergamy advice their idol gives out is just laughably stupid. It obviously doesn't work. So instead of being a place where successful rich pampered women talk about how their partners provide for their every wish, it's mostly a place where women post about how it's not working for them.

According this one mod, and most other people there, this is of course usually your own fault. These problems are very simple to solve, our youtuber says specifically how to deal with this. Upset by something your partner did? Practice emotional detachment. He cheated? Our youtuber says all men do, this is normal. Make him apologise by buying you a gift. Don't be naive, men are incapable of love. Love is for your children, not your partner, haven't you watched her videos? Every woman can find a rich man to provide for her, you just have to have the right standards! Date an older, uglier man who doesn't have as many options! Don't ever pay for anything, how do you expect men to respect you when you do that? You need to make it clear that he needs to pay for all dates and give you gifts and pay your bills and give you an "allowance". This is realistic! This should be the norm! It's such a shame how rare true providers are these days. Such a shame how many women will give it up for free. We disdain those women, they don't like us because they're jealous of how pampered and feminine we are! Oh and of course a true provider doesn't expect sex. This is all NORMAL and ACHIEVABLE, if you only follow her advice you WILL find a rich man who provides for you 100% while you only contribute the pleasure of your beautiful feminine non-sexual company!

I'm not even exaggerating here, that's what the subreddit is like. All of this is basic advice on there. I have seen people assert on several occasions that men can't feel love or compassion.

But at this point most posts don't even get to a stage of community discussion anymore, they just get a detailed explanation from this one mod on what the youtuber's position on the issue is and then the post gets locked. It's less a community space and more like a service to have this specific hypergamy gospel explained to you by this one random reddit user.

This mod doesn't of course appear to be in a successful "provider" relationship herself. Almost no one there is. And the funny thing is that the youtuber herself apparently doesn't have that either! She's married, and her husband is not rich. The community's explanation for this is of course that she chose not to be because rich men have requirements that she didn't want to meet. They rarely ever talk about this as an obstacle to achieving that perfect life of course, that's still perfectly realistic! Our youtuber just chose not to pursue it. She could be rich, this is a choice.

They don't seem to realise that her grift is to get rich off people like them, women looking for advice on how to achieve something she herself doesn't have. Her advice still totally works, prommy! Such an absolutely bog-standard grifter promising to make you rich.

I checked out livestreams of hers twice. The first one I watched for a bit and she gave my favourite piece of advice ever:

If you're living with your partner and want to get rid of him but don't want to lose the apartment, what you do is you simply post a fake eviction notice on the door. Pretend to be distraught, say you both need to move back in with your parents, pretend to pack. When he's packed up and left, change the locks. Foolproof!

It's all like that: childishly stupid ideas of how the world and human interactions work, presented with a smug little pouty smirk at the end.

The second time I tuned in to one of her streams, there was stunningly bad looking man there, a face so smoothed out and reconstructed by plastic surgeries and way too much makeup that he was uncanny to look at. He was some kind of grifter selling something too, I don't remember what. Kinda funny that she'd collab with a man. But I did not watch a lot of that stream, the community is much more interesting to me.

And I feel weirdly attached to all the women on there. Protective even, even though I never interact (I'd get banned immediately for saying anything reasonable). But most of them are pretty young, early 20s, and most of them seem to be struggling in some way. They haven't found the right path in life, don't have a sense of direction and get hung up on a grifter promising them easy solutions and a path to a cushy life. Many of them seem to come from more conservative environments and struggle with that, rejecting traditional gender roles because they've figured out that those will never be kind to them, but still being caught up in the whole idea of masculine vs. feminine and the man "providing". It sounds nice to them and they haven't figured out yet that it comes with strings attached, that you will be financially dependant on your provider husband no matter what side hustle you do from home, that's not the same as a career and true independance. And if you don't want a man who sees women as simple equals, the "traditional" provider man doesn't see women as goddesses to spoil instead... he sees them as subservient.

It's also very evident that there's a lot of racism in that community, a lot of it internalised. The youtuber herself is black and to the credit of the subreddit, one thing they do discuss critically is her insistence that black women need to straighten their hair or wear wigs. She considers it part of looking rich and attracting a rich man. Some of the girls do disagree with that, in a "soft" way where they say it's still good advice because of course you need to follow beauty standards even if they're racist because that's just what the hustle is, but that there are also rich men who love natural black women's hair. You can pick and choose what of her advice to follow. And to be fair this is the youtuber's position as well, that you can pick and choose, it will just be harder for you with natural Black hair, but like I still hate that! I still hate that this is the advice she gives as part of her whole bullshit package, none of it works anyway. She could at least be telling women that there are many ways to be beautiful.

It's also kind of funny whenever the girlies try to figure out whether it would be good to go to Dubai for dating, whether it's a paradise full of rich provider men or maybe the "traditional" Muslim men they hope for also have downsides. The girlies always complain about how hard it is in the USA, sooooooo poisoned by 50/50 culture, and Europe is even worse. Where are these good provider men?! They rarely want to acknowledge that the dynamic they dream of isn't traditional at all and more "traditional" men also come with more sexism. They also discuss things like whether it's better to target white men, are they richer? Are they more 50/50 poisoned? These discussions can all get kind of racist but most of all they're just hopelessly naive.

What's definitely racist though is the constant use of the word "pickmeisha" and I will die on that hill. It stands for like a trashy woman with low standards who will date men without being "provided for". I hate that word so much, the way it so clearly invokes the image of a black woman specifically. They could just say "pick-me" but no they have to add a racist twist. And it's not like the subreddit is only black women, it's all sorts and they all use this word with disdain. It's so uncomfortable.

And then they wonder why they don't have any friends... must be because all the pickmeishas are jealous harpies. Yeah they're all crazy misogynist too tbh. They look down on women, they think men are basically a different species, naturally they all seem pretty lonely in real life.

I worry about these girls. I hope it's a phase for most of them. They're unhappy and they're being played for fools by a weird youtuber. I hope they all move on and unlearn this bullshit.

That one mod definitely won't though. If you look through her post history you won't only see that she's incredibly online and has a terrible grasp on what's realistic in real life, she also used to be a follower of ANOTHER hypergamy grifter. She fell out with her and is now active in calling her out as a scammer, but immediately fell for this new one and spreads her gospel now. Such a specific type of person, exceptionally susceptible to self help grifter bullshit. When she realises that this one didn't really help her either she'll just get a new one. And probably moderate a subreddit dedicated to that one too, that's such a specific type of authority that she seems to really enjoy.

[gracefullou]

No need to publish but since you mentioned the disturbing amount of likes F stuff gets--I've now seen SO MANY video compilations of him in Louis' tags and the worst part is having been around for years I know that half the pics are either not F or not even Louis 😬 I see no difference between these "fans" and the ones that relate everything to H. It's depressing that his team isn't interested in fostering a fan base outside of the loonies.

It's really disturbing to see the obsession ngl. And it's not only fans. Just a few days ago, i saw a PEOPLE's article about Freddie's recent pic and i'm like wtf? I don't know if they ever wrote ONE article about a louis music release but just randomly writing a whole ass article about a child? It's so so weird. And i hate larries and babygaters for igniting this obsession amongst fans. If babygaters didn't exist, i don't think we would have this amount of posts or even accounts that work as Freddie's ua. In one hand we have the freaks who allow themselves not only to believe but to fucking post their proofs how Freddie isn't Louis' son daily (just imagine someone coming to you and saying you're not your parents' son/ daughter and i won't believe it until i see your birth certificate. Like seriously who tf they think they are). I still don't know what they think they're achieving with that, even if you think he isn't his child, holding that against him and always threatening to boycott his projects if you see the kid (which never works btw 💀) and hating on a kid daily is just disgusting and (bc i know that's what they care about) frankly useless. No one with a working braincell will ever believe a single word from crazy people like larries (i came back to Twitter the last couple of days and they're honestly truly schizophrenic there's no other explanation to the utter and complete dissociation in their thinking). They don't even think on how it reflects on louis, to have them as fans. I can't tell you how many irl friends became fans of louis after fitf but were so so put off by larries, they chose to remain casual fans only. On the other hand, we have some fans who work a little too hard to prove larries wrong. They hold on too strong to Louis' heterosexuality and fatherhood as a got you moment for larries. Totally ignoring how weird it it to keep posting a child's face. PS: A lot of the likes for Freddie's posts come from hrries who cling to that (and Louis' Larry denials ) as proof that larry isn't real since their fav didn't really give them a firm denial to shut larries up. I think louis is too talented to have a fandom like this. I always thought that his discography is too good to be included in this circus. Someone like him should've had a carrer trajectory similar to some of the top actors'. Drama free, promote his projects when the time comes, charms everyone with his wit and sense of humor then disappears until the next masterpiece drops. Unfortunately, he was sabotaged for too long and his current team is so useless, non creative and non ambitious it really is depressing. Even the big side projects if you will (afhf, aotv, lfl...) were all louis' ideas and made reality out of sheer will and determination from him. I will never forget in the afhf documentary where HE was the one telling Matt that the festival will happen and the logistics will be figured out and insisting so that the lazy man gets on with it and does his job. Like you're his MANAGER and not only you have zero useful ideas to promote him but also act like you're doing him a huge favor (against your will just so you could shut him up) when he asks you to do something that is in reality your job. His label is also useless (no radio, no playlisting). Hoping LT3 will have a better promo cycle (i'm a clown i know) and some miracle happens so we can get rid of larries, they're so harmful to his career and replace them with new healthy normal fans

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I've made. S o m a n y. Attempts at analyzing Vox's relationship with the fuckin Angel & Val bullshit. So many. But they always come out sounding like fucking word salad. So instead, I'm going to try making a bulleted list of all the different pieces of evidence I've gathered, and then simply not draw a conclusion because I don't fUCKING KNOW-

Vox does not like Angel

Vox seemed excited at the prospect of Angel quitting(despite knowing he physically can't?)

Like his eyes *literally* lit up he was so excited(the same way Velvette's did when she was yelling about wrist ruffles & Carmilla's did during Whatever It Takes)

Saying "Angel quit?" could've been him joking, but between his expression, tone of voice, and the context surrounding the line, I don't think that's the case?

That line is weird as fuck man...

There are two reasons Vox doesn't like Angel: Val constantly freaking the fuck out over minor Angel-related things & he's probably jelous of how much space Angel takes up in Val's brain

Vox does not seem to care for Angel's well being, probably viewing him as nothing more then a cash cow

I say "seem" and "probably" because it IS significantly more likely that Vox doesn't give a shit, but we haven't seen Angel & Vox interacting one on one yet, so there's still a chance I could be wrong and Vox does care in some capacity? Again significantly more likely he doesn't I'm just trying to cover all my bases here

Which speaking of- we don't know how Angel feels about Vox at all? Like aside from Vox's cameo in Poison(Angel's pseudo-dream sequence), we don't actually get Angel's perspective on Vox. Ever.

Like I'd assume Angel doesn't LIKE him just by virtue of his relationship with Val but there's no real way to tell?

Vox(seemingly) hasn't done anything to deal with Val's weird issues with Angel

He probably can't get rid of Angel entirely because of the loss in profits

But he also hasn't attempted to limit Angel's ability to leave the studio or anything, and he hasn't done anything to Val that might discourage his irrational behavior

He's actually pretty hands off when it comes to all of the other Vees' shit just like. In general. The only time we see him interfering is when Val is destroying Velvette's stuff

Vox doesn't seem to give a shit that Angel moved out of the studio

Like he isn't even happy about it just true neutrality-

He only STARTS caring when Val starts threatening to shoot up a building about it(read: when his image is now on the line)

The look Vox gives Angel in Poison just kind of proves he. Doesn't like Angel. And is kissing(but appearently not dating???) Valentino.

The fact that the blood drips, which are usually on the left side of his mouth, are coming off of the right instead during this scene FEELS important but that's another topic entirely so I won't go into it here

Also, as stated before, Poison is a pseudo-dream sequence, so this scene might be less about how Vox views Angel and more about how Angel views Vox

But if that's the case, I cannot for the life of me decipher what the fuck Angel feels about Vox from this one shot so it's pretty much useless for now 💀💀💀

Alright that's it. I tried my best to be impartial and just write down what we know about the characters while also pointing out any gaps in information we might have, but if you think I'm being too generous or too harsh with any of these bullets and feel the need to tell me, PLEASE be nice about it and also use tone indicators. I don't wanna sound like a whiney baby or whatever the fuck but I genuinely cannot handle feeling like a stranger is yelling at me rn and tone indicators help me a LOT in that department.

[demonsfate]

agreed. the rank system is so ass, your progress goes down the gutter if you lose once. also the matchmaking is still a fjcking mess. i played quick match yesterday after the update and i got three tekken emperors!!! 3!!!! i'm not in blue ranks yet!!! also the battle pass or whatever is not worth it. hell, i think i will get the summer stuff from the shop but that's about it. harada and co should focus on fixing those things instead of bringing back the old wh*re for shits and jiggles

I have NOT played quick match yet! But I do know in ranks, I am getting less people? Like I keep matching with the same people I've already fought. Like sometimes I'll match with somebody I fought like 2 or 3 times. It makes the game feel like not many people are playing! XD

The battle pass IS NOT worth it... like ffs, I thought with how long they were taking, they were actually gonna IMPROVE the battle pass, add a lotta cool stuff that's worth having. But no??? I swear it's possibly WORSE. Like I dunk on the ported items - but I really wish they had gave us more ported items for the battle pass! Because this battle pass is mostly filled with items you ALREADY HAVE, except with different textures or materials??? Like some ppl may think it's cool to have the newsboy cap hat but with like a plaid texture or whatever, but I don't. I don't care to have that. I'd rather have a brand new hat that looks completely different!

Also like... MAYBE IT'S JUST ME - but I honestly wish they'd give us... less avatar stuff? lmao. Like I just don't use the avatars / fight lounge enough to care about it. And not only that, but if ya bought one of the character avatars from the store, then the items are useless anyway because, sadly, you can't equip anything on a character avatar (sucks! I wanna put Devil in a dress!) I'm not saying for them to get rid of the avatar stuff in the battle pass, just... have less. I'd rather have more stuff for the characters than the avatars.

I did get the battle pass, but only because I had enough coins leftover after buying the summer outfit packs for the the men & women.

[asenarieka]

TW: Vent, Feminine Health, Ranting

These past few days have been pure agony. I have period cramps 24/7 because of some health issues, but these past few days have been unbearable. I don't cry from physical pain unless it's bad as I'm again always in some form of pain but now I'm just walking around with tears in my eyes because I just can't take this shit any longer.

I have been to the doctor about this stuff, hell I even had a small surgery earlier this year so they could try and figure out the issue which they did. Without going into too many details, my uterus is screwed and beyond repair, and the only way to really get rid of my pain is to get rid of the uterus itself. I want to get rid of it, I have no need for it, I'm never planning on having kids anyways so it's just useless and it's causing way too many issues.

But of course that ain't happening. The doctors just refuse, despite telling me that removing it may be the best solution. Instead they put me on some form of birth control. I have been on birth control before and it didn't do a damn thing to help and it's still not doing anything to help. I'm in just as much pain as I was before just that now my mind is more screwed up than ever.

I can't even get in contact with the doctor despite being told I was gonna have a new appointment in July/August and now it's September and I still have yet to actually get this damn checkup.

I'm legit just losing my mind, I have way too many issues that I'm facing and I'm not getting any help with any of it. I feel so fucking hopeless. I just want one day where I'm not in some form of pain.

I can't even rest and take naps during the day in order to escape the pain. I just get horrible nightmares where I end up screaming myself awake. The last thing I remember from my last nap was me crying out to Envy but I woke up before he came I guess.

I apologize if this is just out of nowhere, I just needed to get it out I guess. Envy is for real the only one keeping me from doing something stupid but we'll be fine I think. I also apologize if I've been acting differently as of recently. I have been disassociating a lot and honestly don't remember much, this is all just too much for me to handle on my own now.

I hope you all are doing okay.

[cathsith]

Hi, reddit people. I hope you're encountering more friendly people than douchey people.

There's a shit ton of useful and thorough guides that provide instructions on how to use the site. This is more of a "shit that's good to know, in no particular order" type of guide

Random thoughts:

💠 Profile: put whatever you want, as long as you put something. It's up to you what you want to share. Just practice common sense internet safety.

💠 People have some really, um, interesting names here, many NSFW. Personally, I think it's hilarious to reblog deep social commentary from someone with a porny name, but if you're concerned about having that on your blog, maybe make sure to check.

💠 I'm sure some of you are old enough that maybe you were on livejournal and are still mourning its loss. I miss it too, especially for fandom. Your best bet at recreating some of that experience is to find creators you like (many fic writers include their Tumblr on their ao3 profile or fics) and following and interacting with them here.

💠 You can either comment on or reblog posts if you want. Some people seem to have *opinions* as to whether it's better to comment or reblog but it sort of seems like a generational divide. I decide which one to do based on how much I want to add and if it's particularly interesting, well thought out, and/or funny.

💠 A lot of people talk about how likes are useless, but I personally think it's a YMMV type of thing. For a while I tried to keep my likes limited to things I wanted to save, since you can't save posts here unless you bookmark it on your browser. But I also tend to like personal posts or reblogs from mutuals as a mark of support. Yes, you should reblog art to boost the artist's exposure. And no one does what they should do every time and I'm sure artists still like getting likes even if they'd prefer reblogs.

💠 Some people have started putting DNI (do not interact) in their info on their blogs and may get mad if you reblog from them. Sometimes people reblog stuff that you like and then you find out that you strongly disagree with their politics/beliefs etc. No one sensible expects you to vet every single person you reblog and if anyone puts up a fuss, you can probably safely ignore them unless they report you for abuse. I've never heard of that happening.

💠 You can contact people two ways: asks and messages. Asks have a word limit and if you go past it, will broken up and may be sent in reverse order. Asks also allow you to be anonymous. People can reply publicly or privately. If you want it to stay private, you should probably state that. If you are anonymous, obviously the response can only come publicly. Messages are essentially chats. A lot of people are cool with getting messages, but I personally am too awkward to use them except with mutuals. (But I'm totally cool with getting them, if you are so inclined)

💠 Mutuals: some people follow others back everytime, some never do. But there's a funny thing where we (tumblr people) get deeply attached to mutuals even if we've never had an actual conversation beyond a comment or two. It's a thing, but a nice thing.

💠 There are a couple famous people hanging around. They're great and surprisingly good at tumblr. Be cool.

💠 Blaze posts are relatively new. You can pay like $10 to have your post shown to people like an ad. Some people use it to advertise their etsy or personal store site, but plenty of people also post pictures of their pets or reminders to drink water or hopes that you have a good day. I usually enjoy them but they're fairly unobtrusive if you don't.

💠 Because there isn't much of an algorithm here, ads can be really random and really strange. You can get rid of ads entirely with a paid account. I think that includes blaze posts but I'm not positive.

💠 Tags here are weird. They fall into a few categories:

🔹 Subject tags: fandoms, music, sports, current events, medical or psychological conditions, history, science, etc

🔹 Warning tags: they're obviously not required, but they're not hard to add and are really important for a lot of people. Sometimes they're posted as "cw: warning" or "tw: warning" but sometimes it's just the warning itself. Just do your best. If you see something tagged "unreality" it means that what you're reading isn't real, but may be presented as if it is. This is (to the best of my knowledge) a warning for people with delusional disorders. It's also generally acceptable to request that someone add a content warning.

🔹 Personal tags: people come up with tags they use on their own blogs for categorization. Some of them are pretty clever. If something is just tagged "personal" then it's considered rude to reblog unless the poster says it's okay.

🔹 Conversation tags: I've been here for ages, but I still don't know the origin of "talking in the tags." Whatever the reason, we do it a lot here. Sometimes it's a quick reference or quip, sometimes it's a dissertation. The longer the tags, the more entertaining they tend to be. If you see a screenshot of tags, that means that they have undergone "peer review"and deemed important or funny enough to be moved into the post itself. It's a high honor.

💠 Tumblr holidays - I think this list has most of them

💠 There is some AMAZING original fiction and artwork here, some of which has been deemed Tumblr Folklore. Check out this list

💠 Okay I'm gonna stop now because I keep adding shit and I've had this draft going for almost 24 hours now and I would like my tumbr app back now

Hope somebody finds this helpful! Feel free to say hi if you want

[thispatternismine]

Getting rid of any kind of umbrella tag makes it impossible to find stuff or filter properly.

Having to search tags multiple times if the fandom you're in has multiple adaptations or versions is annoying, especially if you want to be excluding stuff.

Worse, the option to filter for crossovers is functionally useless in any fandom where there is more than one iteration of the property (such as a sequel or adaptation), because everyone tags multiple versions of the fandom for ~reach~ (ugh). And yeah I know that's what they're doing - I've clicked on fics with both MDZS & The Untamed tagged where the author admits they're following MDZS novel canon specifically (so the drama being tagged is a lie). Also I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that many of you are writing fics specifically focusing on the audio drama or MDZS Q like c'mon some of yous are lying! Same for SVSSS fans tagging the donghua in addition to the book. Like, why?

And because of that I can't filter out actual crossovers because non-crossovers will go too!

And on the flipside, finding crossovers when I want to is impossible. A few years ago I read a fun Good Omens/Untitled Goose Game crossover & was like 'Huh, Good Omens seems like it'd be perfect for some interesting crossovers!'. But like 90% of the fics were tagged with both the book & TV series, which counted as crossovers, & any actual crossovers got buried.

Most of the time the adaptations are similar enough that characters & plotlines are roughly the same, & differences are often smoothed out by the fic itself anyway (does it matter if characterisation of a particular character is slightly different in an adaptation if you're going to put him through the wringer & have him emerge a fundamentally changed person anyway? Does an added plotline matter if you're adding a bunch of plot yourself & handwaving stuff you make your fic work?). But according to Ao3 they count as crossovers.

And tbh I don't blame the authors for tagging multiple fandoms! It's annoying & they're misrepresenting the fic but of bloody course they're going to do that to make sure people see their fics regardless of which sub-fandom they've chosen to search for fics in.

That's something that will only become more necessary considering how much media being released these days is a reboot, remake, sequel or adaptation of something else.

I don't even know why you'd want to get rid of AMT type fandom tags? The only thing I can think of is that maybe people find it hard to seek out fics that are focused on more niche adaptations within a fandom because a lot of authors might tag their fics with an AMT tag rather than getting specific. IDK that seems a lesser evil to what is going on now, but I suppose it could bug people. Is it possible to make it so an umbrella tag can be used to search & filter, but ot be added as a tag on fics? That way authors can pick applicable sub-tag(s), but anyone searching for the fic can be more vague. Is that something that can be done or is that just Not How Tags Work On Ao3?

Regarding Fandom Trees & AMTs

Tag wrangling is, on the whole, a fluid process. It's meant to be, because the way language is used and the way tags are used change over time. We're the first to admit that we don’t always get it right, and that we do sometimes make mistakes despite our best intentions. This is why wrangling decisions are not set in stone and are reevaluated periodically as circumstances change or as new information becomes available. 

In light of the impact that removing the Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms metatag has had, we have put that metatag back in place. 

When it comes to fandom metatags and fandom trees, there is no 'one size fits all' approach that works for all fandoms. Consequently, we have placed a hold on all structural changes to fandom metatags, All Media Types fandoms (commonly called AMTs), and fandom trees while wranglers discuss the need for additional guidelines and adjustments to our approach regarding these tags going forward. 

This hold will remain in place until tag wranglers have had ample time to fully reevaluate our fandom wrangling guidelines with the aim of making it easier for Archive users to find the content they’re looking for and filter out the content they aren’t. This guideline reevaluation process is something we are actively working on, but it will likely take some time to complete. We will update again once these fandom guideline discussions have come to a close.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

(From time to time, ao3org posts announcements of recent or upcoming wrangling changes on behalf of the Tag Wrangling Committee.)

[the-firebird69]

When Body Builders Go To The Mall

I'm standing there right here I'm trying to make up to him try to have him make up to me cuz I'm an a****** I thought that doesn't sound good and I've been beat a huge a****** you have to get to math I'm not slowing down I want to make him poor you see the video and they know why that would happen there's a lot of people there who are helping them and it says the businesses get more respect and they start doing better and I guess I can't handle it in another lawyer firm will take over the law offices of probably the foreigners and I I probably am wrong this is of course you're wrong stupid you have to pay someone who's valuable not running through the mud and think nobody knows it's you what you're doing is illegal and people are taking it out of you you already have poor piece of s*** on the floor and soon you're going to be gone your own wife has to stop you but she wants to live and people will defend her because of your actions wasn't your fault what happened to your people but now what you're doing is you're just running around like a little kid bothering me a little kid don't playing hooky taking hits for it he probably won't remember any of it your jokes up eating something that's illegal to eat I mean holy s*** I'm not joking people are making on a country and yourself it's massively awful you can figure it out already can't you there's like all these juggernauts if the max get them you're doomed you get a few you get to relive the nightmare a world war one with the Bismarck which is what they're planning to do for sure to get rid of you and you're so f****** stupid you all fall for it all the time now I don't want to talk to you about it over and over or all your old way to f****** die it's it's useless you want to make me poor disability and you go after your own answer back proper shutting you down because he insist they're going to put me in grandma's house it has to do with it being my dad's house from Greece I believe he was born there so Jason says we don't have any time for this the Mac proper are doing it they did it to Uncle Phil no they didn't define to Biden and qe2 too probably come out and be president. I'm not going to be president they want me to be George wanted me to be I thought it was smart and I figured it out and I'm a killer and I'm going to kill these big ass groups they want me to do that and defeat the max because you want to sit here and fart on me because you're an interdependent and you're going to die that's the final word you can repeat it every day if you want any weirdo... So my husband says that and I back him on it and it's pretty hard stuff but it's true who the hell can deal with this s*** he wants them to be poor on the street what the f*** what kind of animal is this a****** your whole stupid plan is relying on him and you don't want to do a f****** thing for him so I get really mad too he says good I'm not insane but he knows he's not it's so ridiculous so people are beating this a****** up all the time and they're beating up Trump because they keep saying it it wouldn't pack of losers and the Mac proper are going to do something to get him in the house then find out there's too many of these stupid s**** all over the world and yeah they're running interference and I noticed it when you have ai nobody can tell who the hell is controlling them

Hera

Zues I said the top part but boy it's great being poor around you rich folks and really much more frustrating with assholes like that pestering me you're absolutely stupid and I'll probably sit here through the duration of the radiation until it's like 10,000 stupid f****** idiots left and you'll die easy you need your people you stupid retards and that's an oxymoron isn't it oh you don't know what that means someone's making fun of you you got it right but for the wrong reason I mean holy s*** there's a ton of that besides to be mentally impaired you're not listening to reason at all. Play me unless money isn't the thing to do running around saying it isn't the thing to do say You're going to threaten and torture me is it right and Jason you're going against people who want me to have no money at all good for you advertising it you dumb piece of s*** I appreciate it the next Governor takes your burden of stupidity the government is supporting social security pulling that weight on themselves and you don't have to and Biden was trying to get out of it he couldn't even make a whisper without being in trouble cuz you're so stupid you're dumb the weights on you and this idiot Trump he was running social security you don't understand the burden when I was working wasn't even affecting work it's a small amount of money it's a small company they're not growing that much it didn't become a concern until social security and Florida see it it's a threat and it's the government you're absolutely completely stupid the corner phrase from Donald Trump" you people are just stupid you're saying these things all day and they make no sense you're like fake people"

Zues Hera

He's really right but this is what we're doing and a whole bunch of hours want him off money they're taking hits and fighting them so you think we're bad Jason just think about it

Trump

I guess it's kind of stupid I'm standing up for him but I want to put him in the hospital and other to switch them to this disability so these people like on my side but they hate me

Jason

When I just switch it to it you dick but he doesn't want to do it he doesn't want to be on disability but the Mac proper have a plan to be him to be on gigantism and the state probably will be part of that he says of course I need to have medical equipment clothes so we're going to ask for people's help

Lily

It's true she's not really that dumb and we didn't say she was but a lot of people do is just she knows a lot but it's kind of evil too but still the state will provide clothing and shoes and other things for big people and there's a there's a few of them agencies that want to get in on it and they provide funding too for people who are a lot bigger than their relatives this is Uncle Phil could be around and that would be a help it's like 4 ft 8 I guess that Lois and Uncle Donald have to do they're like 4 ft 5 really they're not very tall. He's laughing but he's getting a job for you usually short people I'm not really that tall no I'm tall than that and his height usually what's on the mayor okay so it's money too it's additional to federal disability SSDI and they provide meals and things like that that are big there's a bunch of stuff and you can get it because you have two disabilities yeah that's why

Stan

I suppose I'll probably have to do that and he says who you going to compare to me I'm tired of him I'm not related by blood it said so what what if Harry comes back and it's big and you're big you know I've had enough of this nuisance Factor or really he's actually valuable in the tune of like many many trillions and most of you are not with s*** and I'm worth a lot of money too trillions and trillions we haven't installed this dog s*** but now he says I'm going to look at stuff I want and talk about what I want I'm going to blow by you cuz you just yelling and screaming ain't even serious we'll just blow you away that's what's going on you can yell and scream all you want or feel good or bad we'll figure out the math is nice cuz you're so obtuse and now you're going to go out get in a fight in a bar probably over fish and chips that would be great a bunch of assholes great I want fish and chips now and he does too we don't have that fast food place Brian worked at it's reliable comes out the same they have rules mostly Bob buck and friends are not allowed there they got kicked out of there for real I don't think there is a seafood place like that he says this Red lobster I don't have that kind of money damn it

Ken

Yeah I could do that that would be nice

Stan

We want our son to be able to order that he's hungry he says he didn't eat enough he did not eat enough and the meal size is pretty big but he says the poop was so giant his heart was getting pressure

Thor Freya

Olympus

Jason I can't stand you I don't hate you but if you try and hurt me again you're dead

Lkly

Diddo

Zues

Yeh didfo

Hera

Same here you f****** degenerate f**

Stan

You can't stand you Jason same here though

Mac Daddy

Here too you a****** stay with you David Dan you down syndrome s**** are so stupid lots of times and we've seen you in your natural form and I don't know what your snickering about bja nothing happened for you you found a storm motorcycle good is it your son Brad who's supposed to see the doors ripped off and get tossed out of the elevator shaft let's get arrested for it himself holy s*** you people are dumb and we have to work with you and we have to work it out Jason's being a s*** it says he's straightened it out and he found the math really we kind of pressure him for the bath sometimes he doesn't give it to us for weeks cuz he's going oh yeah that. And BG has it good he's valuable really we're all valuable and the way he's saying it is interesting and he wants us to have on the agenda of the first meeting to locate all the juggernauts and say okay this is in your area this isn't his area and what the max are up to and we don't identifying it whether it's a problem or not in the first one so I'm going to write this down or bring these notes

Trump

I want to go to a meeting place you know you have me down at lunch they're big place and get free food at least you know those people that want me to have absolutely nothing but really this is terrible I have $1,800 a month only no that's wrong that's not society that's indentured servitude or slavery and yeah it's going to be a huge problem shortly with your Mac proper who are going to do other stuff and I guess you'll have to face them finally it's a good thing

Zues Hera

Yeah we're going to actually get him stuff and get them out of there and all sorts of fighting will happen you stupid s**** Ronnie will be dead he thinks that you'll hold him here until these huge ones start going and maybe through that and we do understand it might take a month or two for you till to have a problem Phil but yeah I'm going to move into his grandma's house his dad's house it's normal for child to live there even if they're somewhere else or other. He's going to go there and he's going to have funding and he's going to be happier he won't have to put up with a social security ass s*** he's going to have it anyways and you guys screwed up big time not really sure if it's worse or better for us you say it's worse but really you're fighting each other so hard that's kind of sympathize with a little living in a pile of morons fighting each other it's like these movies with a pit full of bald people fighting each other it is it is somewhat scary and we're wrestlers and fighters and shooters and warriors and have armies and stuff isn't it alone going well what shall we do now punter's pub why don't you make one. Ideas are bad for you and you like it and we like that and I think we'll help that happen keeps him around and stuff

Randy Savage and wife somewhere

Return of this on his wife and it's gross the kids mad like we are in this gross for enemies or not this is terrible they're not civilized

Olympus

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john x reader (part 3 of ?)

gif by @michaelgreys but i cropped it cause god daMn 👀

read part one and two! | my masterlist

a/n: this one goes out to all my john bitches!! i know it's hard out here, we get no new content but this part is steamy as hell. its not over yet, though! i'm a sucker for happy endings, ok? i hope you all like it, i'm still working on requests as i go :) much love to @stxdyblr-2k for ghostwriting on this series, she has the most amazing ideas in the world 🖤

love, abi xxx

tagging: @datewithgianni

prompt: john's been ignoring you and you want to know why.

warnings: fluff, angst, nsfw!! smut, cocky john, just straight up porn at the end but can you blame me

John hadn't spoken a word in your direction for a week. Despite constantly seeing you glued to Ada's hip, he’d barely acknowledged you since the wedding. He didn’t even bother looking up. Instead his jaw tensed, taking longer inhales of smoke, constantly examining the pocket watch dangling from his right hip. You were the last person John wanted to see right now. He couldn’t get you out of his head, the flush of your cheeks as you had moaned for him imprinted in his memory. You were fucking picturesque writhing around in his lap, a mess for him, and only him. He’d never felt like this; never wanted someone so badly it hurt. Usually, he drowned what little emotions he had in the nearest bottle of whiskey. You, however, were igniting something inside him he’d never felt. Lust, yes, but it was more. A yearning, a need, to see you smile at his crap jokes for the rest of his fucking life. God, you were getting to him.

His coldness and distance towards you hadn't gone unnoticed. To John’s embarrassment, his brothers regularly referred to it as "a little tiff", usually when you were within earshot, as they loved embarrassing his brother. They were blissfully unaware of the full story, assuming his cockiness had put you off him. He sometimes wondered the same; even though you remained polite by greeting him despite the minimal nod he responded with, you seemed ashamed. John only hoped it wasn't because you were ashamed of him. The truth was, he couldn't get the intensity between the two of you off his mind. Whenever he so much as caught a glimpse of you, he remembered how pretty you looked begging for him, then the embarrassment of having to reject you out of family loyalty. You admitting you wanted to have sex with him, him getting fucked off at you because you were off your face, complicating everything. Yet, every night, he held your words close to him, trying to decipher them.

He knew his brothers wouldn't get it. They wouldn't understand how tragic it was; they'd think it was funny that Ada's best friend wanted to fuck him. Either way, John would always rather put himself in the firing line of his brother's jokes than risk your reputation being blemished. He just couldn't look at you without a wave of guilt and sexual attraction flowing through his veins, causing his jaw to clench and his shoulders to stiffen, his suit jacket expertly covering strain on the crotch of his trousers.

A full week had passed since the wedding, of a man Tommy had recruited in an assassination effort. It was embarrassing how his family used money to attempt to push the trauma they created under the carpet. He knew he didn't have room to talk, but fuckin’ hell, a wedding? Maybe Tommy should've just not hired him to blow the brains out of his own father. Well, it was one way to get rid of the police commissioner who got too nosey, John guessed.

He had hoped that you were a passing phase of infatuation. He’d had many before; he’d been notorious around Birmingham for his conquests. Sure, it was possible he had just gotten overly excited and intoxicated around a beautiful girl. Yet, in the quiet moments of his life, in between his kids and business, his mind was only on you. You, straddling him in that booth, the way you grinned at him as he approached you at the wedding party. Sometimes when he was driving home, his mind would drift off thinking of the feeling of your figure pressed against him, the feel of your lips, your laugh, the sound of your heaving breaths against his ear. You haunted him the most at night, visions of you with his name on your lips in his silk sheets. You were his forbidden fruit, dangling barely out of reach.

***

John was at his desk, paperwork long abandoned in favour of whiskey and a cigar, lost in his own thoughts. The loud tapping of rain and the wind of the storm outside shook the windows, yet John felt somewhat at peace; a temporary peace, but he could unwind. Just his desk, the moonlight, the gas lamp illuminating his empty glass and the heavy English rain for company. He found far more joy in the simplicity of life than his brothers, who reeked of new money. He liked his things the way they were, it all worked, but he had to admit he was a sucker for a good suit. The kids were long in bed, the nanny to comfort their nightmares. It made him feel like a shit father, and he didn't want to be like his useless dad. He had started resenting the life Thomas was forcing him to live; the booze, the partying, the Tokyo, the fighting. It was wearing on him. He needed a break from everyone in this town, he reckoned.

However, a certain unexpected guest was always welcome to him. You had just drifted across his mind when a firm knock at the door caught his attention. He straightened his tie, leaving his legs outstretched and crossed on the dark oak desk, calling for the visitor to enter.

There you were. Dripping from head to toe, but still as beautiful as ever to him, despite your damp hair and slightly smudged makeup. You had caught him off guard, and in his surprise, he couldn't suppress the cheeky grin which spread across his face.

"Got caught in the storm, eh? I'll put the fire on and pour you a drink yeah? Warm you up." He slurred slightly, springing into action, lighting the fire and going to fill two glasses with whiskey, which you politely refused.

"I'm not drinking tonight, Mr. Shelby."

He decides he won't either. He tried to ignore your piercing gaze, motioning you to sit across his desk from him, reaching to put the whiskey in his drawer. "That's not like you. Where you headed, love? That lecture with Ada?"

"I came to see you."

He noted your firm tone, the flirty smile, the coy eye contact.

"What's the occasion?"

"You've been avoiding me." You told him bluntly, his cheeks reddening, eye contact breaking momentarily.

"Yeah, I know." He took a draw from his cigar, rolling the smoke from between his lips on the exhale. "M’sorry."

You watched him for a moment and he met your eyes, suddenly softened from his usual icey blue inquisitive stare. To shame, he looked so vulnerable right now. You could feel yourself falling for him again. This is what you hung around for, the fleeting glimpses of the authentic John Shelby. The lad you'd first giggled about in the girl's bathroom at lunch, barely knowing what sex was. Barely understanding power and politics. Unaware of who you'd both end up as.

"You're fucking soaked to the bone. Come on, I'll put your clothes to dry by the fire. And don't give me that look, I'll give you my coat to save your modesty, lass." He teased. You ignored the way his muscles flexed as he reached for his woolen jacket, some outrageously expensive tailored affair from some London boutique, his large rough hands brushing your fingers. "I'll turn around."

You grasped the coat, heading to the fireplace and warming up for a moment, checking that you were far from his line of sight. This was a dangerous game for you both. You wished he'd grab you, take you on his desk and finish what he started, but the way he absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the desk as he waited indicated that he was restraining himself.

You'd rid yourself of your thin jacket, bought from the market stall last week, effortlessly trendy but an imitation of the pricey stuff Ada and the blinder wives and girlfriends you knew. You were jealous of their fur coats, they were always warm and glamorous looking even on the coldest winter night in Birmingham.

You glanced across the room to John. He was staring intently at the wall lost in thought, teeth gritted.

"John? Could you unzip me?" You asked, purposefully making your voice sound as neutral as possible, looking at him over your shoulder.

He paused, bringing his fingers to rub circles against his jaw. You caught a glimpse of white teeth and dimples as he glanced at you out the corner of his eye and you can't help but match his coy grin. He pushed himself off the desk and quickly closed the small distance towards you, his hand finding first your shoulder then the zip at the nape of your neck, your breath hitching as he pulled the zip to your waist. You could feel his eyes tracing the curvature of your spine and hips. You both hesitated for a moment, before John’s warm fingertips grazed your waist, lips pressing into your hair affectionately. His mouth found his way to your ear, cheekbone, jaw and then neck, encouraged by the way your left hand cradled his head as you pressed your body back into his and how your eyes drifted shut at his touch.

"Sweetheart, why did you come here?" He muttered into your ear, his words and casual affection causing your core to swell in response.

"Couldn't stop thinking about you. I've barely slept in a week, feel terrible. Then you've been ignoring me-"

"It isn't personal, Y/N. You know this isn’t how I want it to be." His hands found their way to your waist, gripping lightly at your hip bones, sending a shiver down your back.

"Well this is how it is, John. It's never going to be any different. So, what are you going to do about it?"

"What are you fucking on about, love?"

"I reckon that just once can't hurt, nobody would know but us. Then we can both move on with our lives..."

John hesitated, "What about Ada?" His head rested on your shoulder, the scent of your sweet perfume causing him to want you even more. Jesus, he was too far gone.

"We were so close the first night I got here and we didn't. No one caught on then, why would it be different now?"

He wanted to trust you so badly, it ached inside of him. He wanted to feel you around him, make you cum for him again and again, for you to be breathless and shaking under him. He wanted to give you everything he could, even if just once. But he couldn't.

"She's my sister. Family is everything; if I don't have them, I’ve got nothin’." He stated firmly, yet his palms lingered on your hips, the liquor destroying his perception of the distinction between friendly touching and actions that made you swallow deeply and pray for relief.

"You have me for tonight." You pulled away from him, ignoring the groan that escaped from his lips at the loss of contact. You locked your eyes with his blue ones and pushed the straps of your dress from your shoulders, allowing the damp material to pool around your feet, standing in front of the man you'd wanted for years. It was now or never.

He stayed silent, watching you, eyes not leaving yours, challenging you for a brief moment before his eyes flickered over your figure.

"Is it such a crime to want to fuck you?" You asked, the silk of your skimpy underwear forcing John to wipe the corner of his mouth absentmindedly as he drank you in, mumbling profanities under his breath. Yet, despite the glances and his sudden frustration, you could tell you had him. His eyes were feral and hungry, daring you to keep pushing him. His shoulders were squared, he was ready for action. The crackling firelight illuminated you beautifully; you were irresistible to him.

"It's not a crime. Where'd you get this backbone from?" He asked, reaching for you but you stepped away, teasing him.

"University up north does sommet to a woman."

"You can fuck off or fuck me with that attitude."

"The latter if you behave yourself, Mr Shelby."

He smirked at you, holding his hands up in mock surrender, before wrapping his coat around your shoulders, pulling you towards him by the back of the collar. "You've got a mouth on you, love. You gonna put it to good use?"

"I was told months ago that you'd sort me out, John-" Your speech was interrupted by a small squealing giggle as he tugged at your hair lightly for mocking his voice, his eyes bright and crinkled at the edges due to his grin. "I'm disappointed with these delays, especially from the Shelby Company."

"Well, as the boss, I'll sort it for you, personally and immediately. Let me make it up to you, lass," John crooned, his lips meeting yours once again, fingers pushing your thighs apart, still clad in your black stockings and garter belt. "This is where we got up to last time, yes?"

"Yes Mr. Shelby, I believe so."

He pressed his lips and teeth against where your jaw met your neck, tracing his index and middle fingers over the silk of your underwear which covered your slit. You couldn’t help but lean into him, a slight hiss escaping your teeth.

"You like that, huh? You're fuckin’ soaked for me already, love," John muttered against your neck, lifting your left leg to hook around his waist, easily lifting you onto his desk, scattering loose papers and heavy accounting books onto the floor in his urgency to feel your bare skin on his. "They teach you how to push a bloke over the edge at that fancy university?"

"No, I figured that out on my own actually."

"Always knew you were bright," He smirked, quickly ridding you of your flimsy panties, the pads of his fingertips hot against your thighs. "Always going for the ones smarter than me, Tommy reckons it's not difficult."

"Your brother's chatting shit, he's not the one ‘bout to fuck me on his desk, yeah?" You shot back, opening your thighs to encourage him, your cunt exposed, cutting off John’s laugh. He couldn’t help but stare, eyes glued to your dripping cunt. "You're my favourite brother, always have been. If you tell Finn, I'll kill you," You teased.

"Come off it," John grunted in reply, unable to restrain pressing kisses to your inner thighs, your head tilting back, fingers desperately clutching at his hair. “Need t’get a proper taste of you, yeah? Look so fuckin’ sweet for me.” His mouth reached your core, slowly dipping his tongue into you, causing your mouth to fall open in ecstasy. God, his lips were even softer than they looked. His movements switched from light and teasing to purposeful and focused, his fingers curled and pumping inside you, tongue and thumb attacking your clit. He'd gotten on his knees, your legs wrapped around his neck as he groaned into your cunt, causing you to buck your hips wildly at the sensation, moans falling out of your mouth.

“Fuckin’ christ, John,” You swore, feeling yourself pulsate and twitch around his nimble fingers, crying out into the empty office building. You were getting so close, your hips jerking independently, chest heaving as you gasped for air. You were quickly getting overstimulated, you were so close. Before you could finish, John raised his head back to yours, letting you taste yourself on his mouth, his hands moving from your cunt to your tits, finger tips tracing the outline of your nipples through your silk bra.

"If we get to do this once, I want to feel you finish on my cock, doll," John grunted in a hushed tone, pointedly moving his lips to your collarbone when you opened your mouth to argue back to him.

"Then I get to ride you." Your statement took him by surprise; most women he'd slept with seemed fairly passive in bed. Sure they enjoyed themselves, but they never took control. He could feel himself swell in response to your words. He'd never been put in this position; he was a stranger to it, but the idea was thrilling and wickedly seductive. Especially from someone who was the epitome of "girl-next-door" as they were growing up.

"Polly reckoned you'd be trouble since Ada told us you'd returned. Don't mind getting into trouble with you, though," He teased, his plump mouth dipping to your cleavage, unclasping your bra, tongue circling your hardening nipples.

"John, fuckin’ christ, need you to finish me off, yeah?" You begged, voice shaking, much to his amusement, his fingers re-entering you roughly. John pressed open-mouthed kisses to your neck, soothing your body from the sharp sensation, the slight pain exacerbating the pleasure arising from his mouth and fingers.

"I've barely started with you, and already you're begging for me to fuck you." He muttered into your skin, as he watched you writhe and lift your hips, reacting beautifully to the feelings he was reawakening within you.

"John, m’not fucking about, yeah? I need you," You whined, hand resting on his inner thigh, fingers grazing the fastenings across his groin, gazing up at him from your seat on his desk. John hated waiting for relief, he had very little patience, and almost immediately he gave in and collapsed into his large armchair, pulling you on top of him, letting you pin his wrists to the chair and grind against him as your mouth found his, then his neck, removing his waistcoat, shirt and tie, revealing his muscular chest. The bruising kisses you pressed to his skin left him breathless and needing more, helping you unbuckle his belt and push his suit trousers down his legs. You couldn’t help but take him into your hand, moving it up and down his sensitive shaft.

“Christ, you’re too fuckin’ good at this,” John groaned as you spit on your palm to better move your hand up and down his cock, teasing the sensitive tip with your fingers and tongue. He couldn’t help but watch you, keeping eye contact as you toyed with him, blue eyes heavy with pleasure and lust for more.

You angled your hips above him and he adjusted himself, using his hand to better push himself inside you. You yelped lightly as you adjusted to his girth, his mouth distracting you by pressing kisses on your shoulder and tangling his hands through your hair, trying to control his breaths as you adjusted to him, soft moans falling from your mouth, your tight cunt gripping his cock.

“S’fuckin’ perfect, like your pussy was made for me,” he groaned, breath growing heavier with the sensation of you grinding against him. Pushing his hips up into you, he couldn’t help but grab at your hip bones, grip burning into your skin, bouncing you on his cock, mouth slightly slack, groaning as he grasped at your flesh. You’d imagined hundreds of times how fucking irresistible John would look underneath you, but it was nothing compared to the real thing.

The thrill of having John Shelby with his trousers down in his office, quickly dissolving into a moaning and grunting mess with every rotation or twist of your hips, in the midst of a stormy night while the thunder echoed around the empty streets below was almost too much to take. You should be home right now, curled up in that empty unheated flat, behaving yourself. Even on a date or fucking someone else. But instead you'd gone to him and now you were riding him. You wanted the moment to last forever, right now everything felt so right, you knew when it was over the guilt would hit. But you couldn't avoid it, you could feel your legs start to shake.

“Look so god damn pretty ridin’ me, love. Makin’ me wanna cum inside you.” John growled, panting, struggling to keep pace as you moaned on top of him. Your fingers found his jawline and guided him to look up at you, craving to see how his face looked when he finally came undone. He reached between your legs, torturing your clit with his fingers while he slammed into you a few extra times, using up the rest of his energy. The extra stimulation pushed you over the edge, crying out John’s name as you felt yourself release. Watching you whine his name was the last straw for him, spilling into you as your dripping cunt squeezed him, reveling in the image of you a mess for him.

***

You finally came back to your senses, catching your breath, John clutching you to his chest protectively for a minute or two, enjoying the tranquility and post-sex clarity. He checked his clock, sighing and lifting you from his lap to his desk, running a towel under the sink in the corner of his room and passing it to you to clean up between your legs with.

"Charming," You smirked, tired but satisfied. "No wonder the ladies always come back for more."

"Not you though, aye? One night only exclusive, this." He matched your playful tone, but his eyes were dull with exhaustion and he looked almost upset. He was probably just knackered after working all day and then going overtime just to please you.

"Make yourself useful and grab my clothes for me John-lad." You teased, thankfully changing the subject. He rolled his eyes in the waning firelight, locating the clothes the two of you had left scattered around the room. You quickly dressed, not caring how he watched you silently, as though trying to memorize the image of you. Your clothes were far drier than earlier, the last remaining remnants of damp clutching to the fibers and freezing you all over again. Yet before you could even comment, John's wool coat was wrapped back around your shoulders.

"Because you're cold, not because you look fuckable in it." He said pointedly, smirking slightly, the edges seeming artificial.

"Remind me not to fall madly in love with you. Won't be able to help myself if you keep talking like that, Mr. Shelby." You retorted sarcastically with a grin, earning a gentle dig to the ribs.

"It's Mr. Shelby if you're trying to fuck me. John is between friends and family, right?"

"Someone better inform Mr. Solomons of that distinction, then," You paused, "Mr. Shelby."

"Don't be a fucking cocktease." He scolded with a small grin, grabbing his car keys and hat from the door. "You want a lift then? Don't dick about being polite, Y/N, it's fucking midnight, just accept it."

"Since you asked so nicely."

"You know you've got worse since you've been at uni? Too fast for us lot now." He teased, half serious, as he led you to his car. He couldn't believe the beautiful woman in his passenger seat was the girl with pigtails who'd chase Ada around the canal with their girl gang for hours, the pretty teen who read for hours in his sister's bedroom, comparing notes together. No one was surprised you got a scholarship to university, despite your gender and class. You'd been incredibly lucky. Yet, you'd seen the world and had come back to Birmingham and picked him.

Shame you could only pick him once.

[obsessivefangirl]

>Mofo-religion is why a genocide is happening right now.

If you want to get rid of religion because it causes genocide and hate, then we all need to become intersex Simpsons because sex and race is other big contributers. Think about what you're saying. You're saying that because this is a justification/reason for suffering, you want to eradicate it entirely. I don't want to live in the sad world where everyone is the exact thing because everything is used as a reason to hurt people. You can't pick and choose which things to eradicate and which we should just live to accept.

>Wake up. It may not be YOUR religion, but it's one a lot of BAD people are supporting.

I see this as two possible things. One is you're blaming Judaism, which I'm not going to say to give you the benefit of the doubt. The second is that you're saying people are supporting these atrocities because of religion. This is true. You know what else is true? People support these atrocities for NON religious reasons.

>Sure, me pointing this out may not save a life right now, but it INFORMS people of REALITIES we can change

You can say that praying without taking action you can take is proof you don't care enough, but you demonized the idea of prayer in general.

>instead of pretend deities that people believe are real and MURDER BABIES OVER (I dare you to look up pics of white phosphorus+babies. Religious people did that.)

I hate to bring this point up, but...

Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, Benito Mussolini, Jim Jones (his close ones testified he was not into religion, but was eager to lure people into marxism. Guess we need to destroy the economy as a whole now), Jeffrey Dahmer, Than Shwe, Napoleon Bonaparte, Alfred Kinsey, North Korea literally murders anyone who shows a hint of being religious, the list goes on. Your argument is fundamentally flawed because of the fact that most people, especially later back, were religious. You're throwing the "well, all these monsters were meat eaters so..." argument. Not to mention most wars are about power or raw materials or land. Quite a few wars that were supposedly about something else were easily a disguise for "I want this but I don't want to be seen as the first attacker."

>I meditate/manifest,

Well then by your logic you're stupid and you should start actually doing stuff instead of this silly waste, and you're a bystander. Also you're into spirituality??? and you have this stance??? You realize that this still gets people hurt right. You're coming down with us.

>but I don't pretend I will magically get everything I want,

We never said that. You were the one saying prayer was useless because it doesn't work all the time and you should feel bad for praying.

>nor, blame a deity for not getting exactly what I want.

We don't. The whole point of people who practice the religions is that we love and worship the Creator(s). It's called gnostic is you believe but despise them.

>It's more putting good vibes out there, trying my best, seeing what happen, so I DO understand you. I just follow what I found works for me without it being based in other's beliefs.

Okay? Good for you ig.

>But I do ALL of that, while supporting Palestine and SO MANY other abused people. Try it out.

I literally donate monthly with my allowance. The only times i dont is when my card is declined. I've literally made flyers to put up on the school in hopes of spreading more awareness. The only reason I don't go to protests is because I don't know how to. If i wasn't barely surviving a demanding 9-5 school life I would love to do more.

I hate to brag these deeds, even now it feels gross and gloat-y, but you just decided to contort my view of "Hey, you're being pretentious and cruel just to people praying and doing their best."

>I mean for fucks sake, have you crunched the numbers of EVERYONE killed by EVERY religion ever, and compared it to any other source of major mass killings?

Okay so I actually had a very long thing where I gave the benefit of the doubt but now I'm just tired so tldr: race, poverty, speaking out against the government, slavery, ableism (it was a quiet genocide as they tortured and killed alleged skinwalkers or killed them in mental hospitals and disabled people being killed. It wasn't all at once.) To be fair ableism isn't near the religious numbers. Want to know the big one though?

Xenophobia. The fear, hate, or disgust of who is different than you.

You are reinforcing that by spreading shame and judgement against people who are just trying to live their life.

This isn't even mentioning the fact that new age, magic, spirits, witches and stuff killed a lot of people and there are still hangings of alleged witches today.

>No. You're too busy praying. Praying doesn't teach you history which seems to repeat itself a fuck ton too much.

This is stupid as hell so I'm barely touching it. Tldr: literature doesn't teach you science so literature must be useless.

>"Actions are needed, not just words." NO SHIT. Prayers are a NON action. They are for YOU, not them. Even based on your own words, you say that in a way.

I've read my part and I don't see that anywhere? I agree but like, not everyone can do actions. You shouldn't say that praying is bad. Also, prayer isn't a non action. You shouldn't bank on them ofc, but even in your beliefs they do something, sending good vibes.

>Seriously, reread your own words. It's passive. A self therapy. (and I get that) These words are an action. I had to take time, and think about how to correct a self righteous dink online. Hope I did it right. Fingers crossed ;)

So... my words aren't actions, but yours are? If I wrote a prayer post, that wouldn't be words. How are you saying "don't pray" helping them? Also, I wasn't being self righteous. You are, claiming that you're better than anyone else and know the truth and we're doing it all wrong even though prayer doesn't hurt???

Edit: WAIT I was literally mocking you. I was saying to get off your lazy ass and start fixing things instead of complaining. This post isn't actions. It's hateful words towards people and justifying it with a cause that doesn't make sense.

Religious people: I got to ask you a FAIR and logical question.

Why are you still praying?

Cuz IF prayers had worked, AND you have been doing it this whole time, then...I can blame you for how fucking terrible this all is. YOU asked for this.

And if they DON'T work (CLEARLY) and you have been doing it this whole time, why continue? Hope? Know what's better than hope? Action. Like speaking the fuck up when people are being abused.

Helps a fuck ton more....

Pray after.

[grahas-gourmet-hamburger]

Hi, I’m Artemis.  I’m figuring out this tumblr thing.  I’ve lurked for a long time, but I wanted to be able to write my many thoughts about FFXIV without word-vomiting at my FC discord all the time, so here I am.  I play on Mateus, Crystal Datacenter.  I might go into my characters later, we’ll see.  I’m also working on carrds for them.

Spoiler tags for FFXIV:

#stormblood for anything Stormblood specific

#shadowbrings for anything Shadowbringers specific

#endwalker for anything Endwalker specific

#6.1 spoilers for (obviously) 6.1 spoilers only.

Anything before Stormblood I probably won't tag. Sorry.

If you only want ffxiv stuff, you can block #not ffxiv sorry to get rid of anything else.

I am: 40-mumble years old, white, AFAB, agender (any pronouns are fine really, but mostly I use she/they), asexual, panromantic, married to a transwoman, recently diagnosed with ADHD, not-so-recently diagnosed with persistent depression and social anxiety disorders.

I am not: tolerant of TERFs, fandom antis, racism, male-bashing, aphobia, transphobia, panphobia, etc.

I'll probably mostly talk about FFXIV here, but I wanted to be clear where I stand on those things because they are an important part of who I am as a person.

About me:

I love parenthetical asides (sometimes nested).

I've been on the internet since 1995. It was via a BBS and really only had access to Archie, but I'm counting it.

I'm a gamer. My first game was Rogue on a terminal workstation in the server room where my dad worked for Southern Bell when I was 5 or 6. I'm not quite PCMasterRace; I have a PS4 and a Switch, but I'd rather play on my PC given the option. Right now, I am absolutely obsessed with FFXIV, but not in any productive way (like, I'm not gearing up to raid or anything, I'm just replaying the story over and over). I also can't wait for Elden Ring in February, even though it's going to kick my ass.

I'm a gamer (the second): tabletop style. Right now, D&D 5e is my system of choice, though I really cut my teeth on Earthdawn back in college and I have a huge amount of nostalgia for it. My partner GMs for us and is amazing at it.

I'm sometimes a programmer. I primarily use PHP, and no, I don't need to hear, for the millionth time, about how it's a useless terrible language and only idiots use it, thank you. It gets the job done, and I have a terrible allergy to significant whitespace so Python is very difficult for me.

I'm sometimes a writer, though I am very sensitive about posting anything that I write because anxiety. I'm hoping to combat that a little here, because Endwalker has inspired my writing more than anything has in years. We'll see.

I talk too much. It's documented. I try to curb the word vomit when I can, but sometimes it just has to get out.

I love G'raha Tia. I love a lot of FFXIV characters, but Raha is my boy. It made me very happy that he finally realized he wasn't a grad student anymore and could have more than ramen for dinner.

I love cats. I am owned by two: Mozzie (like the character from White Collar) and Anya (the vengeance demon). There will probably be photos at some point.

Okay that's enough rambling. It me; this my blog; hello world!

[woosansang]

11 & 20 for the ask game 😁

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

so many things omg i'm a memory hoarder sdfjkshdf i just collect stuff and then years later look back at it and i'm like "no i can't get rid of this it's too imporant to me" except i say it about EVERYTHING. i have toys, books, little random knick-knacks and other useless shit stored in boxes under my bed bc i can't bare to part with them

20. favorite disney princess movie?

i've really gone off disney in the last few years but when i was younger, my favourite princess was ariel <3 i used to want a mermaid tattoo that was a silhouette of ariel but since i don't wanna associate w disney that much i definitely won't be getting it anymore lol

send me some weirdly specific asks! no more pls

[bylightofdawn]

My work decided randomly at the end of last year that they were going to move the cap for PTO from 100 hours to 80.

I am a very dedicated (read stupidly obsessed with being dependable and diligent worker bee) Capricorn that exudes so much Capricorn energy you can prolly read it from orbit so suffice to it so say I have over 100 hours of banked PTO and was at risk of losing 20 some odd-hours. This is after I took two vacations last year so yeah I was kinda not happy with this new policy.

Soooooo I requested that time off before it expires on the 15th and ya girl now has 5 whole days back to back off starting tomorrow.

I'd originally planned to make a trip to Houston but sadly, I can't afford it thanks to getting the plague after my last mini vacation in December and my check on the 31st wasn't what I was expecting it to me.

Which, eh no big deal I'll just enjoy this time and do a staycation instead for the next 5 days.

I'm going to do some spring cleaning and rearranging of my apartment. My mother has been trying to fob some furniture off on me for years so I've decided to get rid of this 96 inch metal baker's rack that was housing all of my dvds and various fandom crap like lose figures and the like.

On Sunday, i went through all my DVD's BluRays etc, took them all out of the boxes and recycled them and started to put them into a binder. I had to buy a BIGGER one because 270 something wasn'r enough. All together with some DVD's being doubled up like bluray/dvs combos. I filled up a 400 space binder.

What. The. Fuck.

And that's not counting the things I didn't get rid of because it was specialty cases or things like my Red vs Blue and Star Wars stuff or ANY Of my many, many TV shows. I think I'm going to get a separate binder for those and then keep the cases but put them in a box to free up space so I can hopefully get shit down to one book shelf so I can get a small couch or love seat in my living room.

That ain't happening tomorrow though. Tomorrow is me time, I am going to play video games, read and write and then start cracking on that stuff on Monday.

The only thing that could make this vacation better was if I could get a massage or something stupidly self-indulgent like that.

So here's crossing my fingers and hoping I make some head-way in my new JasPlo fic. I'm debating breaking my own rules and posting things as I write rather than once I've finished just to see if the stress of keeping people waiting would be enough to motivate hibernating motivation or if the stress would just make me not want to write at all.

I mean is it really the end of the world if I have a WIP that hasn't been touched in six months? I dunno. I feel like my own innate sense of guilt would eat at me and I'd prolly crater like a house of cards the first time I get some shithead self-entitled comment asking why I haven't updated.

Which, LBR prolly won't happen cause how many people are going to be reading some super rarepair fic to begin with and I don't think I attract that sort of attention so no way that would even happen.

Most of the time I just feel like I'm putting stuff out into the void. Which, I'm not complaining about but I just really doubt that sort of scenario would happen.

But....you tell that to my guilt complex. I was definitely catholic in another life and have apparently carried said guilt into my next life.

Useless Edit: I ended up getting 90% of my tv series in the binder that held 270 something dvds. When did I buy all this shit that realistically I will never watch again because I own a chunk of them on digital now anyway.

I’m going to see if I can sell the random Smallvile seasons 4-10 and random Naruto seasons at Half Priced books since I’m well past my Naruto phase and what’s her faces sexual assault scandals kinda ruined the show for me forever. Same reason I got rid of all of my Kevin Spacey dvds when I was going through my dvds. But I forgot I bought both seasons do BBC’s Musketeers and I lowkey kinda want to rewatch it now. I also forgot I had seasons 1-4 of Scrubs which is one of my lowkey favorite series ever. I’m kinda excited by the things that got kinda lost in my collection. I found my Dark Angel series and kinda want to add that to the list as well

So series wise I’m pretty set. I don’t know if I’ll be watching any of my dvd or blu rays though. I plan on taking my binder of movies over to my moms house since she doesn’t know how to run Netflix ffs so the know she will get some use out of them. Or at least more than me.

I guess this semi counts as a declutter, yes? Pffft

[faltering-not-fading]

Reblogging so I don't have to do multiple replies 👍

I deal with the not being able to get started/starting on the "wrong thing"/"wrong part" and then hating myself for it/being weirdly anticipatory of the "hah! I KNEW you were useless!" from other people & I do a lot of the "oh hey you really do suck actually" to myself.

Best way I've found to combat that is just a basic reframing process.

Step 1: while in the nasty mindset or immediately after, write down the nasty thoughts. You can do this in your head technically, yes, but WRITE. IT. DOWN. ALL OF IT.

Step 2: Wait until you are having a very good day, or have someone help you with this bit. Look at all of it objectively. Pretend you are a stranger and this is stuff you see someone telling a small child, think like 1st, 2nd grade. This is now a writing exercise that has nothing to do with you personally ;) There are two key points to hit in your response to each these things: 1) Is it accurate at all? Is anyone really going to be that disappointed/are you really a waste of space? Was the wording bad? Would this count as emotional abuse? 2) How would you explain to the child that this is completely or mostly untrue, and reframe it in a way that helps them see that they are doing their best, no matter what that looks like on a given day, and reassure them?

Step 3: Take the second part of Step Two and write that in a doc on your phone or on a notepad if you carry one. Next time you have that spiral? Read it to yourself, out loud if at all possible. If you have someone it would help more to hear it from- say, whoever asked you to do w/e you're having trouble with- and you think they'd be willing to help, and ask them to read it out to you. If it's someone you deal with a lot/a friend, talk with them on a good day and ask if they'd be willing to do this for you as needed to help you run interference with your brain weasels, or even if they'd be willing to do Step 2 themselves with what you wrote down in Step 1. This step is good to pair with your favorite breathing exercise.

Step 4: Profit. If this method works for you, you'll start seeing those spirals happen less often, and be able to get yourself out of them faster and more easily.

It is an absolute bitch at first and if you're anything like me you need at least one backup where you can't get to it easily because a lot of the first few times looking at it when I was hating on myself, I went "ok this is bullshit and does not apply to me tho because I suck" and proceeded to get rid of the easy-access copy.

Extra bonus! All the lil reassurance bits? Take as many of those as you can, reword them as one or two sentence affirmations, and then put it where you'll see it once a day. I usually work with three or four at a time that I shoved into todoist so it just pops up as a notification on my phone once a day, helps a lot more than you might think it does.

Okay I'm ready to admit I have ADHD and it negatively impacts my life. Now what?

Ive read enough ADHD things and found them relatable and realized that its not the "problems focusing" part I need help with, it's the focusing on the wrong things part. I do the sneaky hate spirals, the waiting to disappoint someone, the why can't I do anything right etc etc. I've sat with it for long enough that I've made some mental distance, that I can ride through an episode knowing I'm not really feeling these things they're just bad brain chemistry--

But I don't know what happens next.

I know it's time for outside help, but what are the steps? Do I go straight to a doctor and say "I think I need ADHD meds"? Do I start with therapy and see if it's enough? Do I try more at home coping? I just feel lost, but ready. Hopeful. It's a step up from lost and drowning.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Typical that I come back to an empty house without you Rio: What a depressing waste, like Rio: Could always throw your own welcome back party Buster: Tempting Buster: The lads have been harassing me for weeks, like Rio: Aww Rio: put 'em out of their misery Buster: Fuck it Buster: Might as well start as I mean to go on, yeah? Rio: Exactly Rio: Gotta keep busy somehow babe Buster: What are you doing? Rio: What I'm always doing Rio: 🤑 Buster: Working or working though? Rio: Ha, uncrackable code that Rio: Working, now going to the flat Rio: Lord knows no one knocks in this gaff Buster: At least with me gone that's the worst you'd have to explain if someone burst in Buster: So you're welcome Rio: True 😂 Rio: ✋ for dodging that bullet Buster: I'd take the mercy kill Buster: There'd be no more need to sneak around then Rio: Hmm Rio: 'til you realise we're exiled from dubo and london Rio: then where'd we go? Buster: Somewhere else Buster: Somewhere with some sun for a start, like Rio: Wouldn't hate that Buster: Exactly Buster: The weather's shit here right now Rio: Just in case you didn't know summer's over, like Buster: Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it Rio: Don't pout, baby Rio: ruin your back to school photo Buster: You've got loads of time to cheer me up before that Rio: Do my best Buster: I'll do my best to make you miss me Buster: Be easy then Rio: You know I already do Buster: Yeah but I want you to miss me as bad as I miss you Rio: How do you know I don't already? Buster: You wouldn't be able to concentrate if you did Rio: I dunno Rio: Can make it work for me with what I've gotta do Buster: You gonna make me spend to see it? Rio: Things haven't changed that much Rio: How rude Rio: You got a party to organise though, and friends to give much needed attention 😏 Buster: Just gonna make me beg then, yeah? Buster: Rude Rio: You still have to put some work in, boy Buster: I knew you weren't worked up enough, babe Rio: 😇 me Buster: Things haven't changed that much Buster: Your words Rio: Caught me Buster: You wish I could Buster: You wanna be in these arms so bad Rio: 😖 Why you teasing me Buster: You gotta get that 💰💰💰 Buster: I'm helping Rio: So helpful, you Rio: 😒 Buster: I can always change tact Buster: What would be more helpful to you, baby? Rio: Be here or stop being so cute Buster: [Sends selfie] Buster: Does that help? Rio: Ugh 😍 Rio: I miss you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: Hold up Buster: Changed your mind or what? Rio: [Away for a long ass time cos fuck you Drew] Buster: Babe? Rio: My bad Rio: Unexpected visitor and progress Buster: Indie's back Buster: Well that's good Rio: Not yet but it's getting sorted Buster: Alright Buster: Who was there then? Rio: Drew came 'round, he didn't know I'd be here obvs, just doing some work himself Rio: but he actually apologised for the other night Rio: and he's gonna talk to Indie Buster: Seriously? Rio: I know, right? Rio: Unexpected Rio: but thank god, so over this drama Buster: Yeah Buster: Thank Christ I don't have to worry about that cunt now Rio: He was really decent considering Rio: got rid of whoever he was with before they could get an eyeful too 😶😰 Buster: Good Buster: And you're okay, yeah? Rio: Yeah, I'm fine Rio: I hope Indie comes back Buster: Like with everything he said and did Buster: You're not just saying it 'cause you want Indie back Rio: No, no Rio: Promise Rio: He was really nice Buster: Thank fuck Rio: Seriously Rio: Had forgot he had a key Buster: Me too Rio: 😂 Had to tell the stream I wasn't about to be murdered/doing some kinky roleplay for 'em Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Stepping it up some to keep the edge on my competitors Buster: 😂 Buster: You've got my heart going for all the wrong reasons, babe Rio: Soz, baby Buster: I'm just glad you didn't get murdered, like Rio: Cheers Rio: That's how you know the honeymoon is over 😏 Buster: Don't Buster: I ain't marrying you even if you threaten to murder me Rio: 😂 Rio: so gutted Buster: Get your own fortune, cheers Rio: Who's out here getting fake murdered for the coin, huh? 🤔🤔🤔 Rio: Always doing the most and getting the most Buster: Give it a few days and you'll have plenty of competition Buster: I'm already doing assigned reading whilst planning a party here Rio: 🤓 Buster: Shut up Buster: I gotta do it sometime Rio: Only joking Rio: It's hot Buster: [sends selfie of him reading] Buster: I know Rio: Don't ruin my fantasy, dork Buster: Well now you're not gonna get the rest of the pics Rio: Babe Rio: 😞 Buster: Keep your fantasy Buster: 😏 Buster: That's what you wanted, yeah? Rio: No Rio: I want you Buster: [sends some more pics but not the good stuff] Rio: Fuckin' tease Buster: learnt from the best Buster: you're the biggest tease ever Rio: Glad I've taught you so much, like Rio: don't be using it against me though, ain't ready to come for the master yet 😜 Buster: 😂 Buster: Am I not? Rio: 🤫 Rio: If you're gonna try then get prepared for me to go harder, like Rio: not gonna hold back 'cos you're an amateur, baby Buster: I leave the country and suddenly you're feeling brave enough to call me an amateur Rio: What you gonna do about it? Rio: 😋 Buster: Get on a flight to sort you out Rio: I wish Rio: Seriously...I really fucking want you right now, my body misses you so much already Buster: I ain't opposed to leaving my party before it even starts Buster: It's not like I need the distraction if I've got you Buster: And you know how you've got me too, 'cause it's the same as always Buster: There's too many walls in this house I could push you up against and I really fucking want to Rio: Oh God Rio: no, we gotta be good Rio: can't break this soon Buster: I don't wanna be good Buster: Tell me I have to Rio: You've gotta Rio: You've put it out there now, the keener guests will be on their way already, like Buster: Yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: You'll have fun Buster: 'Course Buster: I just want you here too Rio: Obviously Rio: I know I am the party but Rio: gotta be places, babe Buster: With jokes like that, yeah Buster: You gonna go see Indie? Rio: Should let her come to me, I reckon Rio: make sure Drew has sorted it Rio: Imma go out with some friends, see who's about Buster: You're right, could be more bullshit from him Rio: I don't see why Rio: he's trying to make good, finally Buster: I don't reckon it is, I'm just saying Rio: Yeah Rio: Anyway Rio: party time for all Buster: Do you know where you're gonna go yet? Rio: Me and Rian are starting at Hang Dai 👌 Rio: s'good craic Buster: I'll warn them you're coming, like Rio: 🖕 Buster: You all out of politeness now I've left? Rio: Nah, so well-behaved in fact that your 'joke' cut me real deep Buster: Poor baby Rio: 😒 Gonna drown my sorrows Buster: I'd tell you not to go too hard but I ain't gonna be that hypocrite Rio: S'alright, soak it up with the Chinese Rio: No one to impress tonight Buster: I'm still gonna be able to see your posts, remember Buster: Impress me Rio: Boy, I know my angles Rio: and I know what you like Buster: If you don't by now you really do need to drown your sorrows Rio: Psh Rio: can't even try and come at me with that Rio: and my mates need know excuse to be coming with those 'rounds Buster: 😂 Buster: Literally the only thing our friends have in common Rio: Real talk 😂 Rio: Tell 'em I said hi Buster: I ain't saying shit to James from you though Rio: Oh no Rio: what a shame Buster: For him yeah Rio: Bless him Buster: He's a prick Buster: Save your blessings Rio: Why hang with him then Buster: If I hold him to it I'd have to do it with all of 'em Rio: Fair enough Rio: a lot of effort Buster: Yeah Buster: Not trying to waste my time with that Rio: Understandable Rio: they at least have their uses this way, yeah Buster: Exactly Rio: Hmm Rio: What am I gonna wear Buster: Are you sticking with the 'nobody to impress' bullshit or not? Rio: Wasn't planning to rock up in my sweats regardless babe Rio: boys that aren't you are friggin' useless, how can I work out the vibe and match from 'idk some jeans' Buster: Don't be trying to match Buster: Make your own vibe Rio: Solid advice cutie Buster: More importantly, what am I gonna wear, though Rio: Forreal Rio: gotta show 'em what they've been missing baby Buster: Easy Buster: If they ain't impressed they ain't coming in Rio: 😂 Rio: One way to keep the guest list down 😉 Buster: Well, yeah I can't trash the place day 1 Rio: not with that attitude Buster: I'm not in the 24 now, babe Rio: Exactly Rio: step your game up, before you'd just tell me the maid would clean it up to piss me off Buster: She doesn't come every day we're not royalty Buster: Just act like it Rio: Don't party like it Rio: don't need to see you in a nazi uniform or with your pasty arse out thanks Buster: 😂 Buster: [Sends booty selfie because he's silly] Buster: I was gonna throw outfit suggestions at you but you've sorted it Buster: Cheers Rio: 😏 Rio: well, the SS uniforms were Hugo Boss so Rio: right up your alley that Buster: Shut up Rio: 😂 Rio: I love you Buster: I miss you Rio: Yeah Rio: it's shit Buster: At least school will distract me Buster: Never thought I'd be saying that, like Rio: Gonna ace it Buster: Standard Rio: Yeah Rio: you work hard too though Buster: It's the one thing my parents reckon that isn't bullshit Buster: Gotta work hard as well as play it Rio: Amen Rio: I'll second that Buster: Cheers Buster: It's what none of the lads can get their heads around Buster: It can't be a game all the time, fuck that Rio: Unless they planning to live off their Ma and Pa forever Rio: tragic Rio: assumedly they'll get handed a cushy job by said Pa though so won't even see the consequences of 🙄 Buster: Yeah Buster: And a missus with her own set of rich parents is pretty likely Rio: S'who you know Rio: won the genetic lottery, like, well done yous Buster: 🥇 Rio: You ain't fooling anyone, babe Rio: know me for starters Buster: I don't need to fool anyone Buster: It ain't no trick I'm actually this good Rio: 😏 S'one word for it Buster: What's your word then? Enlighten me Rio: You know my word Rio: 'cos you hate it Rio: cute Buster: Maybe I miss it Buster: Or just love you enough to put up with hearing it again Rio: I'll call you later, no doubt when I'm fucked up and you can hear all about it Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: Let you miss me a bit first Rio: 'Course Buster: I already do Buster: A lot Rio: [sends highlights from stream earlier] Rio: how much i miss you Buster: Jesus Buster: If it's any consolation I spent so long in the shower missing you earlier that it's a good thing my parents aren't struggling to pay any bills Rio: I know, imagine how good it could've been if I weren't interrupted, but that's the story of our lives init Rio: that is not what I'd call consolation Rio: damn Rio: over here needing a cold one now Buster: You won't be wanting the footage then. I'll save it for another day Rio: BUSTER Buster: Yeah? Rio: Please Buster: [Sends video because tell me everything ain't waterproof in the future like bitch my phone already is now] Rio: 😻 Rio: I'm literally drooling you're so fucking hot Rio: like gimme Buster: That's just what happens when I think about you Buster: You're so fucking hot and I want you so badly Rio: Fuck Rio: when can I come see you daddy? Buster: Now Buster: But seriously, I need you here soon Rio: Next weekend maybe Buster: I'll make it work if you can Rio: 'Course Rio: not that long of a flight, even if I have a Saturday shift Rio: I need you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Go get ready Buster: You too Buster: We can do this Rio: 'Course Rio: 👑 Buster: You know it