#i've seen better acting on pornhub

[secularbakedgoods]

Free & cheap degenerate literature, inquire within

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Christ, you post 1400 words of your masc special forces protagonist taking the strap and suddenly everyone's a fucking coward.

Anyway, I've just finished the first draft of the next Casefile of Jay Moriarty story. It takes place in Herefordshire, and if you pay close attention to the Sherlock Holmes story "The Boscombe Valley Mystery," you might figure out why.

End of Year Sale

Smashwords' End of Year sale has come around once again! You can now get a bunch of my books either free or at a discount:

"Jay Moriarty Violates the Official Secrets Act" and "Move Fast and Break Things" are available for free! (regular price $0.99 USD)

"Sebastian Moran Gets Mauled by a Tiger" and "Jay Moriarty Ruins Everybody's Childhood" are on sale for $0.99 USD (regular price $1.99 USD)

"Jay Moriarty Has Seen You Naked" is on sale for $1.49 USD (regular price $2.99 USD)

Endling: 600 Years from Home is on sale for $0.99 USD (regular price $3.99 USD)

You can find these and my other books on Smashwords here, and sale prices are valid through to January 1.

Also, since it's That Time of Year, I should mention that Smashwords lets you send ebooks as gifts! Simply select the "Give as a Gift" option from the book page:

... and, at checkout, punch in the email of whoever you'd like to gift the book to.

This Week's Links

Pornhub Sees Surge of Interest in Tradwife Content, ‘Modesty,’ and Mindfulness

“If anything, the fact that ‘tradwife’ is a trending porn search term reminds me that the entire concept of the tradwife is just influencer marketing in the first place,” Dahl said. “Most tradwife influencers are actually business owners and the primary breadwinners in their homes, so the term itself is kind of an oxymoron if you think about it. Maybe seeing a bunch of porn labeled "tradwife" will help other people to realize that whether it's an Instagram influencer or a Pornhub creator, tradwifery is just a fantasy after all.”

The Last Resort: So close to Fortress Europe’s African outposts, yet so far

Looking at a map, you would be forgiven for thinking that Ceuta is part of Morocco. It is geographically, just not legally. Drive seven hours east on the Moroccan coast along the Mediterranean sea and you will go from Ceuta to another Spanish city: Melilla. Spain refused to give the two up when it recognised Moroccan independence in 1956. It argued, in part, that its rule over these lands pre-dated its hold on the rest of Morocco, and even some parts of mainland Spain. Today, when European nations are fervent about keeping African migrants out, having territory that touches African borders is proving complicated for Spain.

The phony comforts of useful idiots

OpenAI, in pursuit of its first profits, uses fear of AI as a marketing strategy to secure partnerships and enterprise deals, or as Brian Merchant puts it: "if they want to survive the coming AI-led mass upheaval, they'd better climb aboard." Microsoft claims it is fighting climate change by accelerating fossil fuel extraction with generative AI products that generate tens of billions of dollars for oil companies and the tech giant. Israeli apartheid is powered by AI tech provided by Google, while Israel’s genocide of Palestinians is bolstered by automated systems that function as a “mass assassination factory.” The rise of the insurance tech industry has seen the advent of AI tools that promise healthcare revolutions but are part of a longer line of profit-driven, hyper-personalized reforms that have been degrading conditions. It’s hard to imagine a world where one could, with a serious face, say all of this boils down to: “fake and sucks” vs “real and dangerous.”

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I considered doing a "best books of 2024" list for this newsletter, but then I remembered I've only read one book that came out in 2024. It was Cory Doctorow's The Bezzle. It was okay.

-K

[tumblingtumbleleaves]

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[911paralleluniverse]

I'm way too late to the party. But as they say, it's better late than never.

How did you discover 9-1-1?

Pornhub YouTube. You know when people smoke or do some weird awkward stuff routine after sex for buff, I just browse YouTube to prevent myself from throwing up from my fake moans prior. I have no idea why a 9-1-1 video was recommended to me but when I saw Peter Krause's face in the thumbnail, and I was like fuck it, round 2. I clicked the video and it was a scene with Buck and an angry Bobby chopping an onion. I was like wow, they can sandwich me anytime. It was a short but good scene, with great acting and dialogue. I have to watch another short video and I got curious so I have to look for its pilot episode and the rest is exhausting history.

So what is your favorite episode?

Pilot episode. If it weren't for a great pilot, I wouldn't be able to continue the next episode.

Who is your favorite Begins ep?

First I must say, all these Begins episodes are dope. They all made me cry AF.

Hen begins was amazing. Aisha Hinds acted the hell out of her hair. Seeing Hen with a dress and a wig was the funniest thing. Her coming out scene in the ambulance telling everyone that they suck to see her as her. Idk about you guys but I got chills.

Chimney begins was I think one of the best for me. Kenneth Choi delivered. He can make us laugh with his one liners all throughout the series or make us cry with his pain. I think I've seen the episode twice. That's how good it is. I'm still curious how he got his nickname though.

Bobby begins again was a confusing episode title for a newbie fan like me. Sorry for my ignorance but I had to look for the Bobby begins 1 until I had my wtf moment. I realized season 1 was technically Bobby (and Buck) begins. Bobby's backstory was heartbreaking. I couldn't imagine my asshole of a boyfriend surviving similar to what Bobby went through.

Athena Begins. Everytime I think about this episode, I think about the song Rise up and the perfect sequence of Young and present Athena. That was UH-MEY-ZZZEEENG! Athena breaking down and how Bobby caught her was so dramatically beautiful. Those scenes only happens on TV. Because in reality, I don't think my man will catch me if I break down because I lost his condoms.

Eddie begins. This was emotional for me because I'm a softie with kids and a kid being trapped 40ft below like how the hell the kid managed to survive that long is beyond me. I cried a few times in this episode. With Eddie battling with his marriage, with his parents and how he wanted to catch up to his son for those lost times. I cried for the kid, for Chris and for Eddie by saving himself from drowning.

Buck Begins. This was epic. I think this is my second favorite Begins. No child deserves to be neglected the way Buck was by his parents. Buck isn't a savior baby. It feels like Buck was born to suffer from emotional and physical pain all his life. Poor Evan hurting himself just to get attention. He did get it the attention but never love. Thanks to Maddie she was always there for him. This begins and 4x04 had me bawling like crazy. Outstanding acting from Oliver and the actress who plays his mom. She pissed the hell out of my pubes, really.

Who is your favorite character?

Bobby. He's the 118's and Michael and Athena's and the kids' emotional stability.

What are you expecting in Season 5?

More steamy love scenes from the couples and more shirtless scenes from Buck, Eddie and Bobby action and less drama. I think we've had enough drama from their begins. The writers should focus more on the dispatchers, firefighters, LAPD team up in one call just like in the pilot where Abby, Buck and Athena teamed up to save the little girl from being kidnapped or whatever else. That was one of the series' best rescues to date. Sadly, that was 4 seasons ago. I hope they do some more action packed stuff.

Who is your favorite couple?

Maddie and Chimney or Madney. Their romantic development was better than Bobby and Athena's sudden date in 1x10. I like their balance as characters.

Maddie was -apart from being neglected by her parents - a victim of abuse, who were teary eyed most of her screen time. Not that I'm complaining but JLH's acting choices are sometimes cringey.

Chimney though he has his own abandonment issues with his father and losing his mom and Kevin, he still finds time to make everyone around him laugh and annoy at the same time especially to his pseudo young brother, Buck.

Are Buck and Eddie gay? Do you think they're going to be a couple?

Sexuality is fluid. Sexual preference is evolving. One day you wake up you want to be fucked by a hot hairy and muscly straight guy and then one day you wake up you want to fuck a butch lesbian. And to be honest I don't know if Buddie is going to be a Canon. Their characters are so connected together as if they're soulmates, so carefully written and so familial/domestic that we didn't see with Athena and Hen, Chimney and Hen, Bobby and Chimney, Bobby and Hen's friendship. I wouldn't mind f they will keep them as just two platonic friends who happens to eye fuck each other platonically every chance they got and raise a kid together for 3 years now.

Last question, is Ravi cute?

Oh fuck me, YES! YES!