#i've rewatched too many times and every single time

[isolophilian]

me @ Disney: make Smelly Gabe a sculpture or Mickey fucking gets it

[moonikabear]

Let's #SaveDeadBoyDetectives!

Hi everyone!  

As you’ve probably already seen on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, or even the articles that are already written about how furious the fandom is right now, we are currently trying to fight for Dead Boy Detectives. 

There is A LOT that we can do to make some noise and so much is already being done that it’s all getting very overwhelming to keep track of. So I've made this masterpost listing all (or at least most of) the things people in the fandom are trying to do right now that you can absolutely help with too! Thank you to everyone who’s fighting for the show! <3

DO NOT cancel your Netflix subscription in a fit of rage because of this. Netflix does not care about that. Here’s all the things you can do instead to make some noise to reach the people who worked on the show and hopefully the people at Netflix as well:

Rewatch the show with sound on! You can just connect your headphones and leave it running in the background while doing other stuff.

Interact with the fandom online and share the Hashtags as much as possible! Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, wherever, spread the message as much as you can. The currently used hashtags are ‘save dead boy detectives’, ‘savedeadboydetectives’, ‘renew dead boy detectives’ and ‘revive dead boy detectives’. Try to boost the hashtags that are already used by the fandom but also feel free to create new ones on top of that or just generally tag the show etc.

We have sent out a tweet to Beth Schwartz asking her if there is any possibility of finding a new home or an alternative way of saving the show - if you’re on twitter, share the tweet by retweeting, quote tweeting, adding hashtags and tagging Beth in it! Here’s a link to the tweet: https://x.com/papysanzo/status/1829996492247220319

If you’re not on twitter, you can share the tumblr post about it and tag it using the hashtags mentioned above! Here’s a link to the tumblr post: https://www.tumblr.com/thepopsicle/760364779568300032/the-tweet-is-out-people-were-confused-about-the?source=share

There’s a petition for saving the show - sign it and ideally also share it wherever you can! Here’s the link to the petition: https://chng.it/M8dvDk9BcL

You can fill out the title request form and request Dead Boy Detectives Season 2 three times to let them know we still want it! Here’s the link to the request form: https://t.co/wkLf2DS06j

You can send (anonymous) asks to Netflix’s Tumblr account as long as they’re still open! Tell them how much you love the show and that the fandom wants more of it. Please remember to be polite in the message, rudeness won’t get us anywhere. Here’s the link to Netflix’s Tumblr account: https://www.tumblr.com/netflix

If you want to do more, you can send emails or physical letters to Netflix itself! Please remember to be polite here as well.  

Here’s an email address you can write to: info@account.netflix.com 

And here is the address you can send physical letters to: Netflix, Inc. 121 Albright Way Los Gatos, CA 95032, USA 

If you have a subscription, you can also sign into the app and follow these steps: 1. In the lower right, tap “my Netflix” 2. In the upper right, tap the Menu. 3. Tap “Help”. 4. Tap the Call or Chat Button.

We would love to coordinate big watch parties, fandom events and hopefully a big online meetup with as many people as possible! Please feel free to join any DBDA event you see shared online and of course also share the events you know about with others! 

And last but certainly not least, keep creating, interacting and sharing the love within the fandom! Even if all this effort leads to nothing in the end, we want to make sure the fandom stays active for as long as possible and that everyone involved can have fun and a good time with it despite the awful news we got. So keep the happy and positive fandom posts going as well as the fight for the show! <3  

Please don’t feel bad if you’re not doing every single thing on this list, but know that every little bit helps. 

Also, a quick reality check: The chances that Netflix will actually reconsider the cancellation are probably very slim. However, we’re still fighting for any little bit we can get, whether it’s the show being sold to another network, an audio format for season two, some sort of podcast with the cast, getting to read the script, anything. It’s not impossible to get something out of this, even if it isn’t a regular complete second season of the show. We'll keep fighting, even if it's scary, and the odds are bad, and we might die horrifically.

So, on that note - Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post, remember to drink some water, take care of yourself, and have a lovely rest of your day! 

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

The more I think about season 2, the more grateful I am.

In a lot of ways, OFMD's writers, cast, and crew were given an almost impossible task. S1 was brilliant and took everyone by surprise by how successful it became. I am still shocked every time I rewatch by how smart and efficient the writing is, how intelligent the social commentary. S1 is a masterclass in good television.

And for s2, expectations were incredibly high. OFMD found massive word-of-mouth success in a way I've never seen with any other show, and they suddenly had a big, incredibly passionate audience - the renewal was because of massive fan support, and that must have translated to an incredible amount of pressure in the writer's room. Plus, as if that wasn't enough on its own, they're having to deal with budget cuts and Max slashing them down to only 8 episodes to tell a 10-episode story. This is an incredibly daunting task.

And yeah, I've been critical. OFMD is my favorite show, no contest, and it's easy to be critical of the things we love. We can all see that the pacing was off this season, especially in those last two episodes. Some arcs felt rushed; some side characters didn't get enough screen time to set up what they're doing this season. Jim and Olu especially suffer for that. It's inexcusable that this show's budget was slashed the way it was and I'm sad for what we could have had.

But, on the whole? Holy shit, this season was incredibly successful! Despite an incredible amount of fan pressure, the writers told the story they wanted to tell. They never lost sight of Ed and Stede's story, and were smart about allocating screen time so our leads' arcs never suffered too much for it. There's so much creative problem solving - when they realized they'd need to be smart about which side characters to keep on screen, they turned Buttons into a bird in a way that underscored season themes of transformation and change. 10/10, no notes. They even remembered their audience and left us on a satisfying note for all our characters - we get to end with Ed and Stede, happy and together, starting their new life.

They had an impossible task and they did a fucking commendable job. Character beats and humor are balanced amazingly well. Ed and Stede feel so much more fleshed out this season. Just like in s1, OFMD will never be a show where you can catch everything with one watch - there's so many little jokes, hidden gags, small details to discover with every rewatch. And every single actor is giving it their all in every scene! You can tell how much this show was a labor of love for everyone involved.

I'm proper fucking impressed. Here's hoping they get a renewal and a better budget for season 3!

[angelsdean]

Honestly I hate that every meta post / analysis / discussion is viewed as "discourse" more often than not. And the idea that one interpretation MUST reign supreme among fandom. That we must all agree in order to get along. Or that one post is the end all be all of someone's takes. As someone who often enjoys entertaining multiple / contradictory takes and angles of interpretation it's...annoying. My opinions also evolve and fluctuate on rewatches / depending on mood / depending on fandom climate at the time / etc.

I like having discussions with friends (sometimes those discussions are public, sometimes they're not). I like trying to see their POV. Sometimes I come away seeing things differently. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I AM more critical of other characters in the moment. Sometimes I give them more grace. Sometimes I'll make a post in a rewatch, feeling big feelings, and then come back later to amend it, with a more balanced perspective. But there have been times when I have been blocked / unfollowed for one angle or take and that ends up not even being my MAIN mode of interpretation but just something I was rotating around. idk sometimes a post is not the end all be all of what someone thinks abt a character / plot point / story arc. Sometimes we can be critical without being a capital H hater. There is room for nuance. multitudes. contradiction. We can have preferences or think something was not portrayed as well as it could have been. We can be annoyed by those things and talk abt them. I also do not need to agree with every single take my mutuals and pals have. Sometimes I heavily diverge, and that's ok! I think having different viewpoints and candid discussions is often beneficial to fandom. But these discussions are not all "discourse" or "fandom fighting." Sometimes people just have different opinions or interpretations. Sometimes what looks like "discourse" is actually just fandom friends discussing differing viewpoints.

As someone who also likes arguing a thesis and citing sources to support an argument and doing analysis and literary interpretation, I can say that even for takes I don't necessarily agree with, effective arguments can be made for that interpretation and supported by canon evidence. I think that's why "open to interpretation" often chafes at some fans. Because it means multiple interpretations CAN exist and be effectively argued. Mine and yours. There is no one singular ultimate truth in literary interpretation. Not even authorial intent. That's the beauty and fun of media analysis IMO. We can each find different meaning from the same source material and diverge. I may continue to argue for my interpretation (in the academic sense of "arguing a thesis") because that's the position I've chosen to align with, but that doesn't mean I think it's the only one you CAN have. And no, not all interpretations are created equal or are argued in good faith. Some ARE more valid than others and better argued / supported. And sometimes an interpretation is only one of many a person can have.

Overall, I don't like the idea that fandom needs to be a hive mind, and that we all MUST have the same opinions or interpretations or come away from the show feelings the same way or else it's "ruining the fandom fun." Sometimes I staunchly disagree with people, especially when takes are rooted in bad faith fanon more than anything that actually transpired on screen. I won't play nice with people that are just Making Up Some Guy to be mad and insisting I must also hate that guy, who doesn't exist. But I can and do have discussions with friends and mutuals where we interpret canon events differently! And I value those other perspectives. They challenge me to question my own viewpoint, to interrogate my takes, to check myself when I get too rooted in Only One Way of thinking. I don't want there to only be one way of interpreting. And sometimes even I will contradict myself and explore other avenues, for the fun of it.

and before THIS post gets interpreted as discourse I would like to issue the disclaimer: that this isn't directed at any individual blogger or any specific post. do not go after anyone. this is just some general thoughts and feelings I've been having about fandom for a LONG time.

[alessiathepirate]

Until Dawn

A SMALL JOY: Josh Washington x fem!reader

Summary: Taking Dr Hill's advice, Josh and his lover go up to the lodge and look through all the things his sisters had left behind - after an interesting find she does her best to take his mind off the sadness he's experiencing.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

To be honest, Until Dawn is still one of my favourite horror games. Thanks to the game I found my favourite YouTube channel, my English improved a lot because I wanted to understand every word, and I have a huge crush on Rami Malek to this very day. Me and my friends were obsessed with him the time the game came out, and soon started to watch more of his work together.

Josh Washington was one of my first fictional crushes, I could defend him for years without getting tired and I drew him so many times I actually learned how to draw portraits correctly.

There's a gameplay I like to rewatch every year, because of the great memories I have connected to it. I always fall in love with Josh Washington once again - and thanks to that tradition, I started to write for him as well.

Warnings: a bit of swearing, mentioned depression and loss, mentioning the Washington sisters' disappearance and/or death

•••

° "(...) We would come up in the summer and we would have the best time. The whole family was there - mom, dad, my sisters. It was some serious competition out there on the big lawn... I don't know. Can't go back. New reality." °

She listens carefully, noticing every little pitch or drop in Josh's voice as he speaks - and as he puts down the baseball bat all she can think about is grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, a tight one, the kind that is both loving and comforting. She watches him, she examines his every little move and her heart aches every single time she finds a new sign of sadness.

She hates it.

She hates that look on his face. She hates that change in his voice. She hates that he feels alone. She hates that the whole case is making him go crazy. She hates that nothing is certain and he can't even grieve.

She hates that he had to change so much; that he had to become this depressed because of some stupid, messed up prank their friends had decided to pull on his sister.

He didn't deserve any of it. He doesn't deserve any of it. None of the Washington kids do.

Coming up here was already hard - back to the mountain where Hannah and Beth disappeared, where they played around like stupid teenagers do. Dr Hill said it's for the best - Josh needs some closure, some proof that he needs to slowly start to move on. She thinks it's bullshit - Josh thinks so too. It won't be easy to put yourself through something like this.

But regardless, they came. They are here now, looking through the rooms, the basement...

The memories are hurting her - and if she as a friend is hurting this badly than Josh must suffer a lot.

"Teach me." the words suddenly burst out before she can stop them, wanting to make Josh concentrate on something else - not wanting him to get lost in his own mind.

"What?" the question is loud in the basement.

"Teach me how to play." she continues on, feeling unsure like she tries to cross a very thin and sensitive line. "I've never played baseball before."

"It's been a while since I did so." Josh starts to explain, his gaze falling on the bat he put down. "You really- want to?"

She steps closer to him slowly, carefully, as if she tries to get close to a very scared and wounded animal. She touches his arm, her fingers hold him as her thumb brushes along his skin in an up and down motion. She leans towards him, her face touching his shoulder as she presses a kiss to the area what isn't covered by his t-shirt.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she whispers. "I know it's not-" she holds that thought and says something else instead: "I just haven't seen you play yet and I want to join in."

Josh looks at her over his shoulder, he looks at her as she tries to smile even if her eyes stay sad. He watches her like she's the only thing he has left, like she's the only person who matters anymore. He looks at her and feels something break inside, realizing that she really is the only one who he has.

"All right." he says and when he sees her eyes change a tiny bit - showing a bit of happiness - he feels his heart flutter. It makes him feel better, it makes him want to touch her too, putting his hand over hers - over the one which is still clinging onto his arm. "As long as you promise me you won't accidentally hit yourself with the bat."

And there's what he wanted to see - her expression changes, playful offence takes the sadness' place and she gently hits his back.

"Hey! I wouldn't do that."

"You totally wouldn't." his sarcasm earns him another punch and despite the situation and the place, he feels like he got something back.

The last time they bickered like this was half a year ago, the night his sisters had disappeared. They drank and played around until they started to make out in the kitchen, only stopping when Chris stepped inside the room wanting some booze for himself.

As they climb the stairs hand in hand they both feel somewhat relieved. They found a kind of small joy, a bit of happiness - something what they had left here months ago. Josh chuckles when she trips and almost falls, she feels excited as he hands her the baseball bat outside.

"Since there're only the two of us here, I think it's best I teach you how to hit the ball and not yourself."

"I'm not that clumsy Mister!" she tries to sound offended, but it doesn't work.

"I know you too well, girl; and I don't trust you with that at all."

Josh stands behind her, keeping a gentle hold on both of her arms as he explains how to stand and how to hold the bat. She chuckles when he playfully tickles her and this time she doesn't feel guilty about laughing. Before he lets go of her to throw the ball, he gives her a short hug and presses a kiss into the crook of her neck.

She misses the first time...

and the second time; and the third time...

She misses and Josh laughs and she thinks it's the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.

They change positions after a while and no matter how she throws, Josh never misses - not even once. He hits the ball every single time and it flies and lands far away.

She has the feeling that in that very moment, doing that very thing they both feel somewhat complete. She feels like Josh's smiles are honest, his laughs are honest and she forgets about Dr Hill and his stupid advice.

"No shit you like to play it." she says after a while as the both of them are lying in the grass, her head resting on Josh's arm. "It is fun."

"Believe me darling, it is much more fun when you actually hit the ball." his voice has a teasing edge to it and for a moment she thinks about turning towards him and hitting him playfully once again - but she doesn't.

Instead - hoping to get something more, trying to get a kind of good change out of him, she says: "I will, after a bit more training. You'll teach me, I have no doubt about that."

Josh turns towards her, gently touching her face and playing with her hair. She tries to read his face and she realizes that he understands what she's playing at. She wonders if he'll get upset or sad... but she gets an answer pretty quickly.

"I will - of course I will. You'll be the best player in this damn country."

The muscles in her face twitch and she feels like she'll cry. It's been so long, so long since Josh smiled and laughed that now seeing it again feels like a whole new experience. She doesn't want to leave the place or the moment. It's too nice.

"Better than you?"

"Way better." he promises and lets go of the lock of hair he's been playing with. "I love you, you know that, right?"

She feels frozen at the question and starts to wonder where it's coming from. The doubt in his voice, the softness in his eyes... He deserves the world, he deserves everything in it and he deserves to know that he does enough for her - she feels his love and every single emotion and action it causes.

"Of course I do... I know." she promises. "I love you too. And I'm here for you, no matter what."

It's her turn to lean in and she kisses him, making sure the kiss is soft and calm. She wants to make him feel whole and safe. She wants him to be happy.

They lay back down and stay quiet for a bit, enjoying the sunlight and the light summer breeze. She feels like she could melt. Melt into the feeling and moment forever, without ever getting bored.

"You know," Josh starts suddenly, his voice soft and unsure. "it's been a while since I've taken you out on a date."

"It's fine, Josh. These past months weren't exactly the best."

"No... I know." for a few moments he stays silent, not knowing what to say. "All I want to say is I have a few movies here we can watch and we can have a nice time before we-"

"-go back to them." she finishes, understanding what he means.

Them. All the friends, all the family members and pals who show an annoying amount of pity. All of those people who try to comfort Josh when doesn't want to do anything with them. The people who make him feel worse than better.

"I'd love that." she smiles at him as he turns towards him and hugs him. "But no horror."

"No horror." Josh nods.

It wouldn't be good for either of them.

She kisses his shoulder as they get going, stretching their muscles, before climbing the stairs to go and find the movies Josh was talking about.

As they look over his DVDs while hugging, all she can think about is how unfair life is, because Josh doesn't deserve any of the problems life threw at him...

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.2

George: We don't have to keep [an image] up, we just remain ourselves. Don't we, Ringo? Ringo: well, we do, I mean, it's the other two we're worried about. It's a joke about John and Paul being bigheads, but a crazy person – definitely not me – could also see it other ways if they wanted to.

Paul talking about their mutual friend when asked how they met and John telling him not to complicate it. They're so married it's ridiculous. 

Always looking at each other with every single joke. 

He looks like he's in a lovely enclosure at the petting zoo. I've always been so confused by this footage. Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I LOVE that we now know Paul was cast as Thisbe and John as Pyramus and then they switched. I'm actually dying to know how and why that happened though. My first instinct was “of course. Paul was scared he'd look too convincing as a woman, so John did it for him.” But no. Paul dressed as a woman at the cavern, wore ladies lingerie in Hamburg, and wanted to do a full drag show on TV in the early seventies. So why not Thisbe?

Why do you as a man randomly bring up the color of your friend's dick while staring lovingly into his eyes?

It must be noted. They had a wonderful time playing star-crossed lovers. 

The bickering pianos are so cute! And then John (prompting Paul): and John and I . . . Paul: oh I hate this. John: will probably carry on . . . Paul: we'll carry on songwriting . . . You just know Paul didn't hear the end of that one interview answer for a long long time. And it's because John just had to hear it over and over again.

Love the editing so that Paul smacks John's ass right as the symbols crash. 10/10 A+

This iconic moment. Poor George tally number 4.

Interviewer brings up marriage and John takes a shot like he wants to forget that the whole concept even exists. Literally poor Cynthia. And not even in an “lol her husband's gay” type of way. Just in a genuine “the way their relationship fell apart actually breaks my heart because she really did love him and in his way he loved her too but they were just so thoroughly incompatible” type of way. 

Paul: makes a stupid dad joke. John: giggles gleefully and kicks his feet

I have never seen someone so disappointed that they didn't need to lend their friend a pen. Paul had his hand in his pocket before John even asked the interviewer for a pen and when the interviewer gives him one, Paul literally hangs his head like he's just been cut from the school play. I just. The obsession is frankly cartoonish. But also, he just needs to be needed, you know? How many songs does he have which conflate being needed and being loved?

The juxtaposition of Paul and John elaborately messing with the interviewer (“yes John Lenard, that's me” and “actually it's done by mirrors.”) vs George's “I don't know” and “yeah.” it's actually kind of mean editing but whatever. It is ULM not UH. Someone should make that though.

Again, John. Calm down. He's not that funny. Just look at Jimmy. That's the normal person's reaction to that joke. John is half the reason Paul has such a big head honestly. 

Paul's answer to a question about the Beatles gaining a lot of adult fans is nice. Sometimes he shocks with a bit of wisdom. Sometimes his words don't get messed up at the point they hit his throat as he says. 

What the fuck? Okay so the interviewer asks Paul what he likes in a girl, right? I've always been too distracted by Paul saying he likes a sense of humor and John doing an obnoxious fake laugh in the background because John. It's embarrassing how obvious you are. Stop.

But I never noticed Paul actually says “people”. The interviewer asks about girls and he says he likes “people - er - girls” to have a sense of humor. Huh. Okay. 

So ULM was actually what made me a serious Beatles fan and this was the first moment where I had to pause it and verify to see if what I'd just read was actually true. It really is a doozy. 

How to flirt. A guide by Paul McCartney. Step one: get your crush’s attention. This should be extremely easy. Just gesture vaguely at something you're holding. He'll be interested. Step two: do something suggestive to a phallic object. Step three: that's it. You've got him. He'll do whatever you want.

The editing in this thing truly is brutal. Just the jump cuts from a question about Cynthia to John and Paul making each other laugh to girls screaming to John and Paul unnecessarily touching to girls passed out on the ground to John and Paul desperate for each other's attention to girls waving signs to John and Paul sharing weird eye contact to girls physically mobbing them to John and Paul beaming at each other to a question about Jane. It really does drive home the immense pressure of compulsory heterosexuality back then. 

Then a question that's obviously meant to poke a nerve and start some bad feelings. “Paul. Is John the leader of the Beatles?” Easily rebuffed with “no I'm not” and “there's no real leader”. I know I'm dramatic but really it's like every aspect of that society was against them you know? And they just kind of said "fuck you, we're crazy about each other."

Question: what do they think about when they're imprisoned in their hotel rooms? John: we don't think about one thing. *Whips head to look at Paul* well, some of us do. Oh and you know that how exactly? What, do you just have a printout of his every thought? Do you keep constant tabs on his dick?

Someone give me the heterosexual explanation of that moment when John very clearly and obviously checks out and appreciates Paul's ass as he and Ringo are pretending to be cowboys. Seriously. I'm at a loss here. 

Poor George tally number six? Seven? They're asked what they'll do if England reinstates the draft. John brings up Southern Ireland. George brings up Germany. Paul and John plan their joint escape to Southern Ireland as if George hadn't even spoken. 

The choice to play “Another Girl” over that quote of John's being like ‘Paul's actually much meaner than i am’ is great. Because that's seriously such a jerk song. I don't much like Jane, honestly, but fuck, she deserved so much better than Paul. He was such a douche.  

Literally all the song choices in this are phenomenal. “Hide Your Love Away” over the montage of 60s homophobia moments? It's so genius. Saying everything without saying anything. Letting the Beatles do the talking. 

The laugh track over the cartoon is honestly so sad. Nobody asked them if they were okay with being mocked like that and they never even made a dime off it. What would that have felt like to know that your being “too close” with your best friend was a running joke on TV?

“It's only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do?”

[myownwholewildworld]

well, i decided to bite the bullet on this one! thank you to the lovelies @almostfoxglove and @gothcsz for the tags, and a special thanks to @jolapeno for this beautiful 2024 tootathon event! i think it's a pretty common theme between us lot, but seems like tooting ourselves is not our forte - at least not mine! i had been lurking in the shadows for a long while, but july came around and i said, why the hell not? so basically i'm a baby in the fandom, learning from the very best. i've been writing for almost two decades now, but mostly in spanish and on different platforms. i found myself looking for a creative outlet this summer and transitioning out of my online rpg era (foroactivo/jcink, i won't miss you). i am so glad i did, cause i found a home here 🥹 anyway enough yapping!

i have written over 170k words this year (probs a lot more if i take into account my rpg shenanigans) and at one point i've been very attached to everything i've written, so it's really hard to pick some favourites, but here we go!

per aspera ad astra (marcus acacius series) - this is one series i wasn't expecting to write as a fic this year as it was planned for something else, but here we are! i am just enjoying all the angst, it's like therapy lmao

the right kind of wrong (dbf!joel miller one shot) - look... the brain rot won and i gave in to the dbf trope. i loved writing it and seeing that other people enjoyed it too!

the way to a great wide somewhere (beast!din djarin one shot) - i just... idk 🫠 the moment i thought of this i knew i had to put it into words or i would quite literally die.

when the moon howls (javier peña one shot) - as i was rewatching narcos i had this itch i needed to scratch and the jolabrew + withcheese fall challenge gave me the perfect excuse to try my hand at writing Peña.

i regrettably have not been giffing as much as i would have liked to this year, but i promised myself i would pick this up in 2025 again! but here are my two favourite gifsets i've made.

tlou 1x03 - if you know me, you'll know that my favourite episode from tlou is 1x03 because i love bill and frank to fucking bits 😭 it broke me and it healed me in so many different ways.

pp press tour interview - when i watched this the first time i was like "yeah 1000% agree" because marcus acacius in that white armour is my fucking everything.

nothing of this would have happened if it wasn't for the people who stop by and read our stories, and for the writers who feed us amazing fics - writers and readers alike, god i love y'all. we all keep this amazing fandom alive. and i know there's been some rough lows this year, but here we still are!

i could go on and on tagging people who make me smile every fucking day but i'd be bound to miss someone and i could not forgive myself if i did that. so please, take this as my heartfelt thank you to every single one of you. i see you, i appreciate you, i love you. like for real.

some np tags for moots who might want to participate (and apologies if you already have!):

@joelmillerisapunk @joelslegalwhre @inept-the-magnificent @punkseyes @styleispunk @aurorawritestoescape @syd-djarin @katiexpunk @baronessvonglitter @orcasoul

[gayofthefae]

I love Mike's behavior in seasons 3 and 4 on a rewatch because the first watch is "Mike is so in love with El that he accidentally ignores Will", but on a rewatch, it's "Mike is spending all his time with El to avoid Will....what is he running from".

It's interesting, too, because I've made a post about this before, though that one was more about how it's framed to the audience and in Will's perspective, though I'm just now realizing, it might be in Mike's too:

Throughout season 4, it is repeatedly emphasized rather than the fact that Mike is going to El that Mike is leaving Will. It is not romantic that he is choosing El, it is tragic that he is leaving Will behind, so we come to think of it this way too, because Will does, but like I said...I think Mike might too. Afterall, his avoidance of Will on that first day is clearly purposeful and conscious, which means it's a flip of the original interpretation of season 3: his seeming focus on El is an effect of his active avoidance of Will. Really, though, whichever part is active is where the true "focus" lies, as is notable by his passive responses, wandering eyes, and general "out of it"ness throughout the day - his mind is on Will even when his eyes aren't. Thinking "don't think about him" is still thinking about him.

And I love this repeat, because it really is just making it more overt like they say it is. They told a very similar plot a second time but focused on a second aspect to make you question his motives and focuses when he performs this action. Then, on a rewatch, you notice that he's doing the same thing in season 3 as he is in season 4...so maybe his motives are the same too.

We think of Mike getting up from the breakfast table, skating, etc. as "leaving/ignoring Will" not "focusing on El" because that's how he's thinking of it. He's trying so hard to seem like Will isn't on his mind that he's just thinking about how he looks in relation to Will with El often framed simply as the object of his distraction. We're in Will's POV in many of these scenes but in some ways, we're ironically, arguably in Mike's by the nature of the fact that just like him, we are putting all our attention onto Will.

And this shot is a perfect example. We're looking at Will...and yet...the camera shot they used is from Mike's perspective. Not only that, with Mike out of focus in the foreground and Will in focus in the back like that, this kind of shot implies that Will is what he's thinking about. The camera suggests that Mike is hyperaware of Will's presence here. We aren't Jonathan, who is about to respond to this by trying to help, seeing Will upset. We aren't closer on Will to show that it's in his perspective. We're Mike. And as Mike, we're thinking about Will. Right before he leaves for El, but instead of cutting straight to El, we cut back to, that's right:

the person we just left behind.

They have chosen to frame it repeatedly throughout the season as: Mike isn't thinking of El. He's thinking of "not Will".

the breakfast table scene Every single Mike and El scene is about Will

[faynthearted]

is this a safe space? because I need to have a (positive) rant but I might seem a bit unhinged in the process

but please, for the love of god, if you're a tianshan and/or He brothers fan and you're dying from the lack of 19 days content lately, let me put you on to something.

I've been trying not to talk about it because this show is a guilty (and nostalgic) pleasure of mine, but for the last week or two I've been obsessively rewatching teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)

HEAR ME OUT. 🫵🏼

it's a nickelodeon show, yes, I know, but please. hear me out before you make a face, lol!

tmnt is one of those shows that had an established fanbase before its release so not only is the quality of the animation excellent, but the voice actors and writers do such an amazing job. the plot is well-planned and intentional, the show gets notably better as it goes on because of its growing success with its audience (it gets very obvious budget increases for each season lol), and the relationships. oh my god the characters' relationships. they're so top tier.

if you know me from my tianshan fics, you know that I'm obsessed with strained, resentful, angsty relationships that slowly improve as the characters learn to trust each other while experiencing strife and mutual trauma. it's practically the foundation of tianshan, and it's also the definition of the brother-brother relationship between raphael and leonardo in tmnt. and it's so fucking delicious every single time.

I don't want to spoil too much in case anyone actually reads this post and decides to watch tmnt for the first time, but basically at the beginning of the show (and in all other adaptations of tmnt, as far as I'm aware) raphael resents the fact that leonardo is made the leader of their team. they butt heads all the time, they can never agree, raph is a stubborn/reckless hothead and leo is (occasionally) an insufferable, self-righteous golden child in their family. they’re literally red vs blue — their dynamic could not be more oppositional.

but at the same time, they're each other's right-hand man??? it's complicated. as the two oldest(?) siblings in the family (as well as the most skilled siblings), they kinda need each other and they hate that they do — at least raph does. and for a while, their relationship goes up and down over and over again until bam — ✨trauma✨. and I won't spoil what the trauma is. but it's so fucking delicious. the cinematography and voice acting of certain scenes in the season finales keep me up at night

for a nickelodeon show, I'm impressed by the depth of the plot and characters. it's very reminiscent of the complexity of atla's plot and characters. and yes, I've only mentioned raph & leo's relationship so far, but that's only because I tend to hyperfixate on two characters in every fandom I'm in, lol. but all the characters are so meaningful and the brothers' relationships with each other make me want to slam my head against concrete because it makes me feel so much. especially raphael and michelangelo's relationship, too. iykyk.

the show is so silly but also so angsty and also so stupid but also so sincere. the vibes really do remind me of 19 days in so many ways. the boys in tmnt are 15 years old, much like the boys in 19 days. michaelangelo is basically jian yi and raphael is basically guan shan. leonardo is kinda like zheng xi, if zheng xi was more assertive and expressive. but no one's like he tian, lol. sorry. he's a beast of his own. (unless, maybe, another character named karai is comparable to him? you tell me).

anyway. whatever the voice actors, writers, and animators were getting paid throughout the show's production wasn't fucking enough. there was clearly so much heart put into the show because tmnt has been a beloved franchise for a long time and nickelodeon was not messing around when they decided to take it on.

another bonus point is that the episodes are only 20ish minutes long, there are 20+ episodes in every season, there are 5 seasons, and the show is completed. you won't be left on a cliff hanger. you can binge to your heart's content like I've been doing. and usually the season finale episodes are longer than the normal ones (they're split into two parts), which always means shit goes down. god it's so fantastic.

if you decide to watch tmnt and know nothing about it, I recommend you do not seek out spoilers. because there are many spoilers and plot twists. push through the cringe and silly moments (much like we sometimes have to do with 19 days lol) and eventually you'll get to the heart of the characters/plot. and my god, it's so worth it!

tmnt was the first fandom I ever wrote fanfic for, over a decade ago. I was watching it as episodes were being actively released on a weekly basis. and it's been so long since I've touched the tmnt fandom, so it feels like I'm watching the show for the first time again. I only have vague memories of significant plot points/scenes, so it's been such a ride to slowly remember how everything plays out. and I'm kicking myself for not rewatching tmnt sooner, because I clearly forgot how special it was to me at a certain point in my life!

the show is so feel-good and relaxing (but it does have its stressful moments, don't get me wrong). if you've got time to spare, give it a shot and let me know what you think! I'm only at the beginning of season 3, so I'm still working through the episodes myself! :)

if you want to know where you can watch it for free, DM me! <3

[my-name-is-mine-to-know]

I rewatched Madoka Magica, and now I've been ruminating on the similarities between the Incubators and TMA's dread powers. Fundamentally, both are sustained via emotion, granting some individuals inhuman abilities, eventually resulting in manifestations of negative emotion.

Now I'm trying to think of an AU and perhaps how to make that into a fic...

Kyubey doesn't usually go for boys or those below their preteens, but a child who has already suffered so much despair from the death of both parents to the neglect of their caregiver to a supernatural encounter that no one believes them about would certainly sacrifice a lot for even a little bit of hope or protection in the form of a wish, and would certainly fall to despair soon after, considering his lack of support system.

All Martin wants is the love of his mother: he wishes for her to be healthy because it would be awful to just magically change a person's emotions so this is the next best thing. Of course, now she can take care of herself, and is even more resentful of his presence. He doesn't need to be there anymore, so why does he insist upon terrorizing her still? Luckily, he's not home much anymore. He works two minimum wage jobs, and when he's not at work, he's hunting witches. The small bit of hope he feels when cleansing his soul gem is the only thing he has that resembles happiness nowadays, and the seeds seem to take away less of the darkness each time, as his depression begins to dirty his soul as much as his magic expenditure does.

What entity do you think the incubators would be? I feel like it would be the End, considering so much as interacting with one dooms a person; but it could also be the lonely, given how terribly isolating it is to be fighting a battle that no one else could understand except for those who find you an enemy, even though you've technically on the same side; or perhaps Hunt, forcing so many into an endless search for the grief seeds that will prolong their life, but every time you find one, you lose even more of what it would restore in an endless cycle of hunt and kill.

Or perhaps it's too simplifying to try to fit in a single category. That's likely the case.

[lowkeyrobin]

I just read your mcyts x musical theater reader and it was so sweet. I was wondering if you could do something similar but instead of the reader doing musical theater, they do movie/tv acting??? maybe with slimecicle, niki, foolish, and quackity?

I can try I can try 🙏🙏 ; I wanna formally apologize to anyone who's sent requests that I've never posted, sometimes the lack of ideas just hits me like a brick and I physically have no more ideas and can't post them lol ; also sorry if any of this is a little inaccurate, this is just what I know from bts videos and dead meat / kill counts lmao

MCYT ; actor reader

includes ; nihachu, quackity, foolish gamers & slimecicle

warnings ; language

masterlist

NIKI NIHACHU

your biggest fan fr

she binges every single movie/show you've been in just for you

then afterward her tiktok fyp is filled with edits of your characters

her pinterest is filled with pics of your characters too lmao

she's got boards for all the diff characters and aesthetics and bts pics

you send her a picture of you hung by a harness and she's like "what kind of contraption are you in and why"

probably watches the movies/shows you're in on stream for first time reactions and commentary

if you have to wear a wig for a project you'll show her like a time-lapse of how the makeup dept puts it on and she's just like "how long does that take???" "an hour" "omg"

ALEX QUACKITY

liking, reposting and commenting on any edits of you/your characters

actually so down bad /hj

yk damn well he's always asking "hey any new movies or shows ur gonna be in soon??" "not soon enough for u to watch rn lmao"

always makes jokes in reference to media you've been in

asks what other actors are like bts and if they're actually nice or if they have a JLO type ego

always wants to match Halloween costumes w your characters and their love interest/best duo type friend iykwim

hides the fact he reads fanfiction about you and your characters

FOOLISH GAMERS

owns every single piece of merchandise related to your characters

owns every piece of media you've been in on DVD, and has most of the original scores on cd/vinyl

constantly making references and jokes to movie/show deaths you've acted out / traumas your characters have endured

his tiktok fyp is FILLED with edits of you

every like three scrolls it's another edit that he likes, reposts and favorites

he rewatches edits 24/7

also dives into fandom culture a bit bc he wants to talk to people who like your career as much as he does

also the type to ask "is ___ a good person or are they secretly a bitch?" lmao

you spill all the juice

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

has an actual checklist of which movies/shows he's watched and how many times he has

the gossip about other actors bts goes crazy

he's probably the one to show up to set the most to give you food or motivation lol

"whatre you guys doing with all the blood?" *cue him looking to giant gallons of fake blood*

"I, ___ & ___ are dying today"

"Oh, fuck, cool. can I watch?"

matching Halloween costumes with your characters 💯💯💯

he's obsessed with seeing edits of you and reposting the ones he finds on Twitter

"Holy shit you guys are insane (make more right now)

w boyfriend

[exandrianpunk]

i have rewatched campaign 2... many times now. the mighty nein are everything to me. it's my comfort show. it's usually not a great sign for my emotional state when i catch myself thinking "hmm is it time for another c2 rewatch?"

i started this run about a month ago. i've been doing... poorly. in all aspects of my being. and i have reached ep 26 again.

every. single. time. that i have rewatched this campaign. this episode comes around as i am at the lowest point of my current character arc.

it's my favorite episode. i hate it with every fiber of my soul. every single second is heartbreaking and gut-wrenching and. i love it so much.

of course it logically makes sense. i start watching the campaign when i start feeling bad and things continue to be bad and a month goes by and wow it's time for episode 26 what a surprise that everything is bad and i need to cry. it's not really that impressive.

it's the emotional catharsis that i so desperately need. every. single. time. and this time is no different.

it still somehow feels meaningful each time. this story is so important to me. and it hurts to watch the build-up and know what's coming. and to catch new little things each time (this time it's how tal talked about the tea that Jumnda offered the group).

but it still brings such relief to see it play out. for the cast to make it through. to know there is another episode that comes after and another after that and so many more stories for the nein and the rest of exandria to tell.

these nerdy-ass voice actors have helped me get through a lot. and i'll keep clawing at the hope that i can keep going through this too.

[asgardian--angels]

just rewatched steven universe future (and the movie) and I just gotta say.

I still have no idea why fandom was so upset about the show, why opinion turned against it, or anything. I didn't understand it then, I don't understand it now. I've enjoyed every single minute of that show, start to finish, all iterations. A show hasn't left me sobbing like that in a hell of a long time. It handles heavy, dark emotional topics with incredible finesse and heart in a way that all of us could learn from. It remains one of the most aesthetically beautiful animated series I've ever seen, and the soundtrack is so incredibly moving. I'll never get why shows with the most hopeful themes, like this one, end up with the nastiest 'fans' that harass creators and artists for making something that encourages us to be kind to each other. like, insert good omens meme i guess, yknow? but I will always love this series (the OG, the film, and Future). I'm glad I was never really involved with the fandom back when it was airing so I didn't have to hear any of the shit that people were tossing around. But knowing that this series basically got thrown to the wind after it was done airing - like, no one even talks about it anymore, as if there were some Game of Thrones effect WHEN THERE WASN'T - breaks my heart. It was so incredibly influential, for animation, for queer representation, for creativity in art, and for helping a lot of people feel seen and teaching us a better way to be towards our fellow human beings. I don't know who the fuck can be angry about this show, but whoever they are, I feel sorry for them that they have nothing better in their lives than to be senselessly cruel to people who are trying to make the world a kinder place.

anyone out there who hasn't watched Steven Universe before, and maybe was intimidated or put off by how it's talked about on here, please don't listen to that. It's one of the best made series, animated or not, in the modern age. It touches people of all ages. It inspires hope, and forgiveness, and working towards a better world. It has incredible character development, intergenerational trauma, dismantling colonialism, the horrors and fallout of war, xenobiology, troubled families, damaged people trying to grow and find new meaning, building community, nature vs nurture, perfectly done slow-burn plot arcs and reveals, and an art style that's so gorgeous you'll mourn the current state of the industry that stifles creativity like this. And it does all of this so profoundly and intelligently that it defies summary. Give it a try.

That's all I'll say. I never post about the show anymore bc I'm not a part of the fandom and I don't know how active it is on here anymore. But I've always cared deeply for Steven Universe and I always will. I hope outside of the insular bubble of toxic online fandom that it continues to have a steady mainstream following. Rebecca Sugar deserves accolades and a big thank you for bringing this show into the world. I'm sure she did not get a fraction of the praise she should have, and instead had to endure endless vitriol. The bar's always too high for some people who want something to be mad at, who want to blame and hate instead of supporting the few brave artists out there trying to make queer shows and pave the way for the future. The enemy of queer rep is so often queer fandom spaces themselves. Let's not let this life-changing show fade into obscurity if we can. It was groundbreaking in so many ways. It brought joy and hope to so many. I hope new people will continue to watch it and be uplifted by it, as I have all these years.

[bomberqueen17]

Loftus Bralette Construction #2: completion!

yah so i finished the bra and tried it on and it was more comfortable than the RTW bra I'd been wearing so I just left it on the rest of the day, LOL.

But anyway I'll detail the rest of the sewing of it, and what I've learned and what I plan to do next.

[image description: a bent sewing needle, held between my fingers]

So the first thing I learned is that sewing through the many layers where the bra cup is attached to the band is enough that it'll snag on the feed dogs and if you try to pull it through you'll bend your needle. Had to yank out the entire bobbin raceway/case assemblage to free the bent needle so I could get it out and retrieve the in-progress bra, and then reinserting the whole bobbin assembly took forever to get right. So, don't recommend.

A bit later I shattered another needle when I misjudged how much of the metal eye there was underneath the fabric of the preassembled hook-and-eye closure I was inserting. They only came in a pack of 5 so maybe I need to order more microtex needles....

I wear glasses, but if I didn't, I wouldn't wear goggles to sew but I'd know I should, LOL.

Anyway. Bra sewing is not for the faint of machine. I am using an old mechanical Kenmore that fears nothing. I can't set the stitch width very easily, but that's the only downside I can find.

Attaching the band was wildly confusing. I'd watched the sewalong and it had seemed straightforward enough, but the written directions were baffling. They wanted you to pin... the center in place... from the top... then turn the entire bra and pin from? the other side? what?

I tried to follow the directions, failed entirely to get the thing on, and had to retreat upstairs to seam-rip and rewatch the sewalong.

She has you pin the center, then sew the waistband V to one side of the center gore, then sew it to the other side of the center gore, then pin the rest in place and sew the rest. And that worked. That is not what the written instructions say to do. I'm still not sure what the written instructions say to do. I could not decipher them in any way at all. (By "turn" do they mean like, fold the thing to get at it from the other side? or do they mean like, rotate the whole assemblage, to work on the same surface but from a different angle? what the fuck.)

But I did manage to get the band attached, in the end!

[image description: a pink bra with a black, inverted-v elastic waistband lying atop a sewing machine.]

i then had to attach the straps, and as I was doing it I was like "this is dumb I should make them shorter every bra ever has had straps too long for me" and I remembered someone asking "why put adjustable straps on a homemade bra you're making to measure" and the pattern designer or someone answering "because the elastic might stretch over time" but i'm here to tell you a little secret, those elastic sliders never fucking stay where i put them, every single bra i own the first thing i do when i get it is adjust those sliders as short as they go, and that's the first thing i do every time i put that bra on for its entire life, and it is still never short enough and sometimes i have altered RTW bras to remove the sliders and make the straps permanently shorter. But I was like "no they wrote the pattern like this for a reason i'll do it" and then. I got the straps on. And got the hook and eye closure installed. And I put the bra on.

And the straps are way too fucking long, like minimum three inches too long, and won't stay adjusted shorter and even at the shortest adjustment are too long.

So score 1 for whoever was like "putting adjustable elastic on a made to measure garment is silly", they were one hundred percent right. I have picked /cut the elastic back off and am going to just sew some on at a fixed length about three inches shorter than the pattern as written. I was completely wrong: i do not need or want adjustable straps. If the elastic stretches out over the lifetime of the garment, I will unpick it and sew it again shorter. The sliders never work and I don't know why I bought in to the propaganda that they would when I know better.

Anyway: making this not-rebloggable because I'm going to include a photo of the garment on, and I don't need that to be rebloggable. It can just stay in its original context here. Not that it's racy. But:

[image description: a size 38J non-wired bra, pale pink with peach elastic and a black waistband, worn by a torso that fills it out pretty well, with just a few wrinkles in the center gore and arms raised out of frame.]

The high center gore doesn't suit me, so I'll do the next one at the lower line option. The lack of pressing the seams shows; the seams are blocky and my boobs have low-poly corners, LOL. The Sharpie marks are funny everywhere. And I could stand to have less volume at the bottom of the cups so my boobs fill out the tops of the cups a little better, somehow. Not sure how to alter that.

But what I've done is I've since cut out a second one, using the nice kit I bought, and first I very carefully shaved down the edges of the paper pattern pieces, which i had cut out with my usual not super high level of care. But these pieces need to be very precise, and the seam allowances-- well, drawing the sew line on was good as an idea but in practice I missed it much of the time when I was actually sewing, because I couldn't see it or the fabric slid or various other reasons. What I need to do is use a seam guide to make sure I'm really sewing at the full 1/4" seam allowance, which I rather often wasn't. And that means there's a little extra space in this bra that I don't need.

But the fit is not bad really!!! so I'm going to go ahead and make my next one in the same size, and make it nicely, with all new notions and shit that matches, and doing all of the finish-as-you-go shit, the topstitching and the pressing and whatnot. And then we'll see how that one fits, and maybe refine things from there.

I got no cat photo for the finale here because I turned the a/c on today and the cat has retreated to the attic, which is not air conditioned, so she can sleep in the desert heat, which she prefers. (No we don't live in a desert but she likes to pretend.)

[ozfi]

i've been having So many rider conversations lately. one of which is the fact that kamen rider doesn't really have rivals. because the main rider is supposed to care about the world more than some random asshole. and this truly only deviates in atypical settings like if they were rivals before ridering even happened. (kaito and kouta).

and i am rewatching kuuga, obviously, and a large motivation in that is about how godai doesnt want people (general) to cry, and he wants to protect people's smiles. hero prioritizes world over individual. but in decade yusuke initially prioritizes yashiro over others, and it takes.. manpain, essentially, to get him to see the bigger picture.

so we have heroes that arent like the ideal already. we have. tendou. tsukasa. my yardstick. and it brings into question the image of a hero.

does it actually matter that a hero chooses an individual over the world if the result is the same.

(kind of an extension of both my prior blade analyses. but this one has SCREENSHOTS. first second)

so we discuss the role of a hero. in kuuga ep8, mika wonders if people just dont care what happens to an individual when a tragedy occurs. what value does an individual have when many others were also sacrificed? mika comes to understand this by realizing she, too, is that individual, and yes, she matters too. kenzaki says to sacrifice yourself unthinkingly for someone is a really nice thought. 誰か, Someone. this sentiment is the role of a hero, after all... and that is the point of all of this.

heinous line btw. the writers were sick for this. but at the time it's set up as innocuous. it's a followup to talking about amanes father only thinking about his family in his dying moments, but this bit of dialogue feels more general and wistful. because kenzaki apparently doesnt have anyone he feels like that about... Yet. so it can be taken as regarding people in general. and its obviously not like he doesnt kind of do this every time he fights. being a rider is dangerous. there are many undead who could kill him. he's talking to one who could. not that kenzaki minds though lol. and it leads into when shima asks why he fights, what his purpose is. and he comes up with this:

which is true! this is quite literally what kenzaki is fighting for as blade. the people around him, and everyone else. but "the people around me" is. extremely literal. そこにいるの人. and then 人を愛してる is also kind of a crazy ass line! it is intense but widely general. "i love people." you (i? we.) can understandably interpret the first half to be talking about his Literal Friends, but there isnt even 大切な or anything indicating strong personal feelings. he doesnt even SAY friends. this is why these lines stick out to me.

despite being pretty friendly and kind he is somehow starkly impersonal! kenzaki truly loves the world and the people in it, but individuals are part of that whole of "people". kenzakis social circle is made up of coworkers and people his coworkers know, with kotaro being the only one to willingly barge in and become kenzakis friend (which is named as an anomaly - which must mean the distance is recurring), and then hajime appearing as an enemy and slowly becoming something more- which is an anomaly, which means the distance is recurring!

an exerpt of a fic an old friend gifted to me, which i think about constantly, and also exemplifies this well: its more because youre a person than because you're you.

i just .love when characters are like this. their actions are heroic and kind but their reasoning seems less so. that being more personal feels more "right", but it doesnt have to be. as long as the result is the same, what does the reasoning matter? and obviously most heroes dont know everyone they're protecting. every single individual saved is a single person, but they still make up the whole of "people". kenzaki's particular oddness comes from the fact that it still, somehow, extends to other relationships, even people who are ostensibly his friends. this is why choosing to save the world and hajime sets hajime as that main priority, as he is the danger in question, and thus not part of the whole.

and nobody knows. nobody outside of kenzakis very small pool of acquaintances will ever know either that he is responsible for the darkroach infestation, nor the reason that he was. moreover, most people will not even know blade himself was the one that saved the world, and only a fraction of anyone will know the board riders were even fighting the undead until one day they werent. (kotaro wouldnt out his friend in the book, cmon. that would be low.)

so to answer the question - well. obviously the answer is no, but it's also yes. no: because if the world is saved anyway, nobody will be able to tell the difference. yes: because if the result comes to pass, they will be misinterpreted as someone they aren't. as a person this isnt ideal. "blade gave up everything for humanity" simply isn't true. but a hero is first and foremost an idea, so maybe they're okay with that, in abstract. the ones who know them will know them. and kenzaki will always be left in pictures, and memories.

[cynthia39100]

Merlin rewatch -- S2E9: The Lady of the Lake

Merlin and Freya were so precious and sweet together. It's not a grand romance, but it's so beautifully shot and I just love seeing them together. It's cute how giddy Merlin was every time he made some progress with this relationship.

"I'm going to look after you." I think Freya's presence fulfilled Merlin's desire to help people and to prove that he wasn't a monster. “It could have been me in that cage.”By helping Freya and treating her as a beautiful being, he convinced himself that he didn't deserve to be in that cage either.

He also wanted to be with someone who would appreciate his magic to the fullest, both its usefulness and beauty. He used so much magic in this episode it's quite delightful~

He said“I like you." and then "With you, I can just be who I am.”Both statements were genuine, but I think the latter was what really drove him to decide to run away. “I’m fed up of being careful.”He wanted to stop hiding and to have someone who understood him. “He (Gaius) knows (about magic). But I’m not sure he understands." He thought he could find it in Freya and didn't realise when Freya said they were nothing alike, it was true.

~~~

Freya knew from the start that they would never work. Aside from her curse, she didn't harbour strong romantic feelings for him I don't think. She said "You made me feel loved." and "I will repay you." Not the lines from a typical romantic story. She tried to tell Merlin about herself and that they couldn't be together, but she couldn't bring herself to say it clearly because she was so lonely and afraid. She wanted to stay in the little bubble with Merlin's affection just a while longer. She wasn't lying when she said "I want that (run away with Merlin) more than anything." and "I've never met someone like you either."

~~~

(That single tear was too perfect honestly)

This story felt like Merlin's little rebellion against destiny. He liked Freya enough, but more than that he wanted to run away from this dangerous place and the awful thing he had done and would keep on doing. Freya died so he had no choice, but I think even if he did run away, he would soon regret his impulsive choice. There were so many people here in Camelot that I don't think he could leave behind. And as much as he liked cute little magic tricks, I think he needed a grander purpose for his magic.

[S2E9] [other episodes]