#i've performed tasks three days in a row this week and it feels like cocaine

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

it's so ironic that chronically ill people are stereotyped as lazy, because absolutely no one out there wants to do things more than those of us who've spent years languishing in bed. i've been feeling a little better the past few months and the only damn thing i want to do is cook and clean and be productive. being productive feels like a fucking drug, no matter how exhausted and sore it leaves me. even when i have to rest, i'm lying in bed dreaming of what i can accomplish next. fuck but i am desperate to do things.