#i've never had to take care of a baby and i dont ever plan to so take this whole post with a grain of salt

[bdor1995]

am i crazy for thinking baby clothes are an unnecessary expense. babies are going to outgrow their clothes in less than a year. they wont remember being dressed in cute clothes and i would think they just care about being warm most of the time. like if an infant shows signs of preferring a certain material or color i would try my best to comply to their whims but i think baby clothes are unnecessary. it should be socially acceptable to take your baby around in a blanket appropriate for the outside weather/occasion/etc

[logbush]

Cardigan

900 words

angst

santana lopez x reader

A/n: back from my rut!! i've had a lot going on rn with school about to start, so i haven't been posting, i am working on requests rn and i will try to get them out as quick as i can.

“y/n!” you heard someone yell out. you turned, searching for the voice. a brunette comes running towards you, “i need to tell you something,��� rachel says quietly. you raised an eyebrow and shook your head “i honestly doubt what you have to say is something i could care about,” you stated beginning to walk away from her. the brunette chases after you “i guarantee you do want to know” she whispered next to you as you both walked down the hall. you sighed before stopping and looking down at her, “what do you want rachel?”

she took your hand and dragged you to an empty classroom where you sat down on one of the desks and looked at the brunette “whats so important that you need to tell me, rach?” you questioned. rachel sighed and made eye contact “you cant be mad at me okay, i’m just the messenger,” she started. you raised your eyebrow, maybe you should hear this. “she cheated on you.” she sputtered out. you sat stunned. santana wouldn’t do that to you, would she? “no she didnt,” you begged out, hoping that she was just lying. she nodded “she did, over the summer, with brittany” rachel took your hands in hers “i’m sorry i’m the one that had to tell you this y/n.”

your breathing began getting heavy. the brunette put her arms around you, trying to comfort you in anyway possible. you didnt fight it, in fact you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her closer to you. she whispered soft ‘im sorry’s and ‘it’ll be okay’s. you cried. no one sees you cry.

~

you and santana had planned a date that night. you needed to know if rachel was telling you the truth. you two weren’t planning to go out that night so you were just dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants. you sat in your bedroom, planning on how you would confront her. knocking came from downstairs. its now or never.

you walked downstairs, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down. you opened the front door, seeing the latina cheerleader dressed in a tank top and pj pants. she was holding your favorite snacks and drinks. how could she be so sweet after what she did. you stepped to the side, allowing santana to walk in. you closed the door and turned to face her, watching her put down the things she had brought.

the cheerleader sat down on your couch before looking up at you with a smile. you didnt return it and instead just sat next to her. she looked at you with concern “whats wrong baby?” she asked quietly as she began to wrap her arms around you, her head on your shoulder. you continued to stare straight ahead. “did you ever plan on telling me?” you quizzed. you felt santana gulp against your shoulder blade “plan on telling you what?” she questioned in reply. you stood up and looked down at her. “you and brittany. did you plan on telling me?” you stated again.

santana stood up and looked at you. “who told you about that?” she stammered out, dodging the question again. you scoffed. “it doesn’t matter who told me. its true isn’t it?” you felt tears begin to form in your eyes. the cheerleader sighed and nodded “yes,” she said meekly. you scoffed, “how could you do this to us?” you yelled out. you hadn’t planned on yelling, you both knew this was just your emotions getting to you. you watched as tears fell onto her cheeks. “can we talk about this?” she begged.

you were fuming. the latina walked up to you, but you quickly walked backwards to create distance between the two of you. she instead just stood a few feet infront of you “she doesn’t mean anything to me like you do” she wept. you sighed and watched her, “why did you do it?” you inquired. santana was breathing heavily before sitting back down on your couch. “i dont know, you were away on vacation and i-“ her breathing heavily interrupted her thoughts, “she was there when you weren’t” she stated meekly. you let out a deep breath “are you serious?” you tried to keep your voice down but she knew you were even more pissed than before.

santana looked up at you and shrugged slightly “i dont know, y/n, it just, happened” she murmured. you scoffed, “i need you to leave santana.” her eyes quickly shot up to meet yours. “y/n, we can talk about this-“ she started. you cut her off quickly. “we’ve talked about it enough.” you spat out. her eyes were watering as she stood up. you pointed to the door “leave.” you said again. she sighed before turning towards the door and walking to it. “for what it’s worth, im sorry” she said before she walked out the door.

you ran upstairs to your room and sat down on your bed, allowing yourself to break down. how could she do this? you went to your desk and started to destroy every photo of her you could find. the photo you took of her on your first date? cut up. the photo of her meeting your mom? torn to shreds. the photo of her on your first valentine’s day together? lit on fire.

you were broken when you met her. she fixed you, and then she broke you again.

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[applesbloominthefield]

the rookie thoughts (kinda controversial)

tw: topics of police brutality

first of all i have to say, i am an international viewer, and i just found out about the rookie a couple of weeks ago through youtube shorts, and knew i had to watch it when i saw clips of chenford.

i stand with the term ACAB through and through, and i am all for defunding the police, because unfortunately i have had my own terrible experiences with cops, even if not within the US. but come on, social media has proven once again, no matter which country or nation ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS.

so i when i found out the rookie was a cop show, i was very wary. i hate copaganda and no show or no media would ever be able to change my mind about cops being good people (still is true). but then i keep seeing these clips of chenford and i just fell in love with them. i don't know why and what about their dynamic is so attractive to me, maybe the slowburn, the black cat and golden retriever, the cold and sunshine, the yapper and the listener, the broody guy outside but a big softie on the inside and the hopeless romantic girlie?? so i decided to start watching it for the sake of Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford. let me tell you, i fell into a rabbit hole. i have never felt this way about a ship ever since middle school when i shipped dramione and sterek (both unattainable ships and not cannon btw) so imagine the euphoria of knowing chenford is canon. i truly fell in love with them, and i forgot how much happy hormones fangirling over your favorite character gives you.

i was in a bad place, and chenford and the rookie had my back, honestly.

i have to applaud the writers because they're able to make us - or me, at the very least- be invested into the lives of the ensemble of characters. let me tell you, i have been an avid series watcher ever since middle school, when my coping mechanism to weird thoughts and ideations (if you get what im saying) was to enjoy shows and hyperfixate on them so my brain gets distracted from the realities of life, and there are always characters i don't like, or characters i don't care about, or i skip over because i think they're a waste of my time, but the rookie truly made me care for and love each of the character. and i think that's a really tough thing to do.

now im new to the fandom (and honestly i dont plan to invest much time into being in the fandom anyways because being in a fandom is very exhausting and time consuming to me and i don't know if i've got that kind of energy like i had when i ran harry potter and teen wolf accounts when i was in middle school. i think i prefer to just be a fan of the show and just watch the fandom from afar but occasionally will have a couple of inputs or rants), so im familiar with people saying they hate nolan and why is the show focused too much on nolan (which... i mean the show did start out being centered around him) etc etc, which i felt the same way too when i watched s1, but truly, i have even grown fond of nolan too... and that's miracle work done by the writers, baby

i think my favorites are season 2-3 even if season 3 unfortunately got rushed by the circumstances back then (pandemic) s1 was good too in terms of plot, but my chenford heart couldn't take seeing nolan and lucy ewww. and of course i loved s5 bcs of chenford but the plot could have been better.

so those are a couple of things i think the showrunners/writers should be applauded for, now for constructive criticism... i feel the show never truly acknowledges that most if not all cops are bad (even if they insist that there are always good ones), they always scratch the surface or barely spend enough time to go deep within this topic, which i think is crucial as a cop show rather than just doing it for the sake of "woke agenda" (which i felt was their goal in s3)

you know when women say "i hate men" and men always say "not all men" and we as women would say "sure not all men, but it's always a man" i feel like it's always that kind of back and forth with The Rookie. if you are not or have never been the one being assaulted by the police, if you are not or have never been a victim of the corrupt law enforcement, if you have never felt the corruption and unfairness of law enforcement, who are you to say otherwise?

when i say and think ACAB, i mean it. even the most noble of cops for example tim bradford has been corrupted by the system due to work politics (S6) or maybe even when he was blatantly being prejudice in the pilot episode towards hispanic men (S1)??

i also think just putting poc with tragic backgrounds for main characters, to show why they want to do police work to be on the good side of things is NOT enough! that's like not even the bare minimum...

i honestly think the Professor Fiona arc was getting good, and they almost went somewhere with it, until it didn't continue in season 4 and never was even acknowledged again.

they barely scratched the surface, and im sure if the George Floyd case (may his soul rest in peace) hadn't been exposed, they woud have never even graze the topic of crooked cops

with that being said, the writers did a great job with doug stanton, because i truly wanted to punch him in the face repeatedly whenever he came on.

so what's the conclusion? i think the rookie is great when it comes to the main characters and their respective plots or character developments! but still really terrible at showing the reality of cops! because ACAB!

but i think i do understand that in the end all of this is fictional, and is a sort of getaway, but no matter how fictional, because of the coverage and platform the rookie has as a network tv show, that's also on hulu, it's important to dive deep into the realities that cops are bastards and how it has affected the lives of millions of innocent people. i think it would be the least they could do.

for me, i fully am aware that my stance on cops contradicts my love for the characters. but that's the thing, two things can be true. i still hate the police, but i love the rookie esp chenford as a ship! i guess in a sense, the rookie is a sort of guilty pleasure, and i really do hope the writers/showrunners do better on this topic so i wont feel ashamed when someone asks me what is my current fav show and i say it's a cop show.

anyways, ACAB! DEFUND THE POLICE! BLACK LIVES MATTER!

[xozyozyo]

Jiji,

It's eight months today. Eight months that we've shared trips, dates, lazy nights in. We've had triumphs and fails. We've learned new ways to have fun, new things each other loves, and new ways to deal with adversity.

So today for our 8 months that we've been together is 8 things I love about you.

That pout. I know you do it on purpose. I know you know I love it. When you give me that pout everything you want is yours. I cannot resist it.

That smile. When you smile and are happy the whole world lights up. I love the crinkle in your eyes and how giddy you get. I love the giggle you have when you are in a really good mood.

Playful nature. I love when you just tease and joke. I love when we just mess around and don't take things so seriously. When y ou are in a teasing mood, it's one of my favorite things. You make me laugh so much and I love you for it.

Traveling. I love that we both love to travel and we both love doing things. There are so many places we want to go, and so many we have already been. Going to museums, parks, landmarks-all of it is more fun with you.

Competitve nature. When you are competitive, the tiny badger comes out! You will do anything to win and you absolutely hate losing. Your sass is unparelleled, andI love it.

Planning. That you plan and plan and you have an idea of what you want and how to get there. You have goals, baby, and you will always find a way to achieve them. If we want to do something, it takes us no time to just plan it and get it done. Everything is so easy with you and I'm happy I have a true partner that is willing to get things done with me.

Your big heart. You care so much about people and me. Your protective nature just comes right out and no one better hurt the things you care about. People, anniversaries, plans, many things mean so much to you. I love that your are so full of love and compassion but that you will murder who threatens those you love.

Loyalty. You would never betray someone and never be disloyal. Love means the absolute world to you and you keep love close and dear. I know I can count on you for anything, and you are one of the few that will willingly stand up beside me instead of hiding in the shadows because you dont' have fear and you dont' care what people may think of it.

I'm so happy that we've had each other for these 8 months. You are my world, my wife, my love and soulmate. I hope you like this moodboard because yellow is like spring. It is light, happy, and that is how you make me feel.

I love you, baby.

My Joonie,

I tried to find a way to write something that matched how beautiful this letter is and how much I love it, but nothing even came close to something as sweet. You're truly the most amazing person I've ever met and I love you like you have no idea. I love you and everything about you. I'm so happy we have been together for eight months, and every day we get closer and closer, and that's all that matters to me.

I love you so much, your Jiji.

[nathank77]

11/16/24

8:45 a.m

I'm glad I looked into her eyes. It's stupid but it made a difference and made me less negative and feel safer. I know she cares about me even if I never hear from her again bc actions speak louder than words.

Anyways i ended up smoking a cigarette bc after being awake for 2 hours my nicotine withdrawal got so bad it was just a I have to otherwise I stand absolutely no chance of falling asleep at this point. My arms hurts like a bitch, my shoulders too so that made sleeping harder too bc I wouldn't take ibuprofen bc I took Melatonin... they can interact... maybe I should take Ibuprofen in a little bit. I guess they can cause a raise in blood pressure.. so I hardly ever take it unless I skip Melatonin.

Anyways after my cigarette and my tv turned off after 30 minutes of listening to it, i laid in the fake silence and eventually I must have fallen asleep. If I had to estimate how much sleep I got not including before I woke up, it was maybe 1 hour and 30 minutes maximum. Making me have gotten about 5 hours if I passed out by 11 p.m last night. Which is reasonable I did pass out very quickly.

I didn't end up taking any other drugs to help me. I was planning my morning. Making eggs, starting laundry and just watching TV all day. I did have a weird dream. A couple. One of them she was in but I dont remember much other than her blocking me and I woke up wanting to check bc I woke up in a panic bc she changed into a new person I didn't know and I said, Nathan it was a dream and if she did seeing it now will only make sure you don't fall back to sleep but she prob didn't. We can check when my alarms go off...

The other dream was weird a huge house i was moving into with a spiral staircase in the middle and 4 floors. It was gorgeous. I don't remember much about it besides going up the stairs that were in the middle of each room.

Idk what I'm going to do.. bc I looked up why would someone have a hard time falling back to sleep. I mean I just have a hard time falling asleep ingeneral and it says a sleep disorder. I prob should eventually ask to see a sleep specialist for a sleep study.. but I dont want someone else taking over my xanax. I know it sounds stupid but my Dr is fucking reliable. I'll be getting xanax as long as I dont pick up early or abuse my prescription until I'm fucking dead. If she left my office, my script would transfer to someone else in her office and id get a new primary. I really have a good thing with my xanax script. Reliable is the word. So long as I don't call in days early asking for it I'm never going to lose it.

A lot of Dr's make addicts out of their benzo patients sending them to rehab by discontinuing the script and I don't want my xanax from anyone except my primary bc I'm not joking when I'm 80 I will still be getting that same script as long as I keep doing what I'm doing.

If I see a sleep specialist then they are taking over for my chronic condition inwhich I see my primary every 3 months for... and they could take it over... and I'm terrified of them not being reliable. Of them making me have to go to rehab bc of it. Finding a dr to percribe my script reliably is fucking hard.

But yea i know i prob have a sleep disorder. Despite that I know if I could smoke weed then id sleep like a baby every night and fall back asleep easily every night for the rest of my life. And I'm not 100% sure I want to know what my sleep disorder is. It could make it harder to fall asleep. It could scare me. It could give me anxiety.

I control caffeine intake. When I had my cigarette at 5 a.m I had Powerade with it no caffeine. I cut myself off of caffeine at a certian hour every day... I also know that the shows i listen to when I try to fall asleep don't help even at low volumes bc I either can't hear it and I hallucinate anyway or parts of the show gets louder... I've been watching the impossible game show bc its boring and mostly low. I'm never watching American dad again it really wasn't the best show for sleep.

So I know my sleep environment isn't great bc I'm always trying to make my auditory hallucinations get drown out. But yea that's how i feel today, tired af and sore from my workout. I got to take Ibuprofen soon but at the same time I want to feel the pain to know how badly I fucked myself up or to feel the normal muscle pain so that I don't numb it bc I want to know if I overdid it. If that makes sense.

I'm not sure I'm up for a red bull day bc of the lack of sleep... I may just do laundry and take a shower and have a red bull day tomorrow but I got to make up my mind... video games require much energy... and I may not have it bc of my lack of sleep...

Mom still hasn't heard back from the rescue. I may reach out myself. She showed me her phone proving she called and left a message.... but I still got a contact there maybe i can speed it along. I got to get Riley out of here.

Id play silent hill but she's going to barking all day and even still it's a lot of energy, more than just doing laundry... even though that is too... I got to clean the dryer if I do laundry... but i mean 5 minutes and that's done. Concentrating on a game all day is hard. But cleaning the dryer will hurt my muscles...

Idk i had more to say but I forgot

[uglypastels]

So i went to a wedding this weekend

And it fucked me up.

It was so beautiful and so fun to see my family and to see them happy. It was kind of a theme how we're all getting older. Like, my great uncle was shocked to see me taking shots haha, but also like, the bride was my second cousin (idk the terms exactly, but its that kind of connection) and she was like the baby of that side of the family (also one of my favorite people in the whole world) and here she was getting marries and looking so beautiful and happy with her groom. Like, seriously, watching her and him felt like a fucking movie. And her sister just had a baby and its the cutest little munchkin ever. I hadnt seen either of them in ages and finally got to meet both their partners and during the entire wedding i was surrounded by my parents, my uncle and aunt and all these people loving each other with families of their own and for the first time i actually thought like fuck this does actually look kind of nice. Like, i would like to have something like that. And like during some of the quieter bits i started lile thinking of my own little hypothetical wedding.

But at the same time, we had all been so close and used to constantly see each other but then people moved away and this had been the first time in six years that i saw most of my family. Last time since another previous wedding (my grandma's actually. Her second one and she and her husband are just the perfect pensioner couple, just vibing and traveling the world). So its become that kind of thing and so obviously people started joking "oh guess we'll see each other next time at your wedding hahah" meaning me. And my mind immediately went to, so we'll never see each other again because whenthefuck could it happen? I've never been in an actual relationship, coming closest to obsessing over celebrities/fictional characters or getting too attached to some random guys i stumble into online who either live too far away to make anything work or turn out to be fucking assholes, or just both - mostly because i have never felt that i could find anything real in my life... but then again i've never made an effort, did i?

And not even just romantically... like, i was looking around at the wedding and there were so many people there. Of course mostly family from both sides of the happy couple, but also friends and i just couldnt stop thinking how, if i were to make a guest list, i wouldnt have anyone to put on it. Maybe 3-5 froends and even those  friends might be a stretch since we dont even keep in contact often so would they would care to come to my wedding (i am getting so fucking pathetically dumb here but im spiralling so let me rant assdfggsjsjksld)

Like, there were a lot of people invited here that the bride and groom knew from university... and im in my second (out of 3) year rn and i would not want anyone from this time at my wedding. At least, theres, no one who i am close enough to, to think Yeah they should deffinotely be there ony special day. I absolutely blame myself from this distancing away from everything but then i did have three potential great uni friends last year and then they fucking backstabbed me and i cant be in a room with them without wanting to cry so thats a fucking great experience. And i tried spending this year finding new friends but 1) i'm too afraid to innitiate any kind of conversation 2) i am horrible at talking to people wether i know them or not - even my own family. I literally kill the conversation bc i dont know what to say to them 3) i get too self conscious and immediately get the feeling they hate me 4) i am uncomfortable with making plans so will never have opportunities to like strengthen any kind of relationship outside of said class. -> this then also leads to the mlst uneventful student live ever.

But in the end, this is all such fucking bushit. On the rational level because i know i am only 21 and i have a whole life ahead of me and i dont know what will and could happen. But however logical that is, it doesnt matter because nothing would work since i have horrible commitment issues, no healthy references of relationships that could help me form any sort of mental support or idea on how to do anything. I have no personal confidence or belief i could find someone, and have no care for myself so how would i know how to care for someone else, especially with my horrible lack of understanding other people or social... anything.

That then also ties into having kids. Like yeah, happy family and all that (of course i know that baby does not equal the only solution to happiness etc.) But i do not think my body would be able to handle it and i doubt i would be able to take care of another whole human being that depends on it.

So yeah, i'm a fucking train wreck.

Its 1 am and im crying in bed writing this giant hugely personal venting speech out and i dont even know if i should post it bc on one side it might make me a bit better to let it out there in the world, but then i also dont need the whole world to see it

[pacifymebby]

peaky blinders hc for what it would be like to be dating them/married to them!! xx

So i did married to them, hope thats alright xx

Tommy

🌿 Determined to make sure things are different this time, good and true, he wanted to marry you with the gypsies. So you had your wedding in the fields at the Golds settlement.

🌿Dangerous goes without saying, naturally, however somehow its worse than you imagined. You always thought Tommy was being dramatic when he said it would get worse once you were married

🌿 But it got worse, there have been multiple attempts on your life and Tommy is more protective of you than ever

🌿 He doesn't always show it in the best or most romantic of ways, sometimes he stays late at work, hours late because hes trying to pull together a plan that will keep you safe. He doesn't tell you often enough that its you hes thinking of, its yours and his future which keeps him going.

🌿Puts a lot of pressure on himself for things to be different this time. Hes been married in the past and failed to treat people right, he won't let himself go wrong again.

🌿When things get bad and youre scared - though you try to be brave for your husband - Tommy tries to get you to talk to him and admit your fears, says its good to be scared, shows youre still innocent, shows you're still alive.

🌿That kind of talk scares you more though and so he ends up bringing you into his lap/arms, cradling you to his body and whispering promises to keep you safe, to never leave you.

🌿Tells you stories, that if things get really bad you'll get a wagon together and dissappear never to return. You'll chanhe your names, leave everything behind, just you amd him together. You know it will never happen like that but the story comforts you every time.

🌿 Doesnt involve you in the business at all, determined to keep you pure and innocent. Even if he knows deep down its impossible.

🌿Spoils you, mostly with pretty jewellery and animals. Buys you dogs, always takes you with him to buy horses.

🌿Has a horse he keeps just for the two of you and takes you riding as often as he can.

🌿 Sometimes in the summer the two of you dissappear for days on that horse, living like gypsies where no one can reach you. These are his favourite memories. Brings himself hell from the rest of the family upon your return, but its worth it every time.

🌿 Youre one of the only people who can talk any sense into him, hes always talking to you about "mutual respect" and how hes heard its the most important thing in a marriage. So whenever you argue, and if you step out of line, he'll stop you and remind you.

🌿 "What is it we have love? Remind me eh i think I've forgotten?" "respect Tommy," you sigh. "Mutual respect, that means it goes both ways... Right," he pats your cheek lightly, his cheeky smile gets under your skin "that'll be that then eh."

🌿 The longer goes by the less he feels haunted by Grace. You're a mother to his children and he talks to you all the time about having a baby with you. Whenever you have sex he tells you thats what he wants.

🌿 Still calls you his angel, still believes you were sent from heaven to heal him.

Alfie

🐻 Good, quiet, stable and steady. Alfie treasures you and isnt going to let anything happen to you. Which means you lead a remarkably quiet life for a ganstas wife.

🐻 He keeps you out of business, and for the most part, keeps himself out of business too.

🐻 He made a joke at the wedding saying that if anyone tried to joke around and ask if he was the father of the bride, he'd cut them. You know he wasn't really joking, you know he occassionally does worry hes too old for you.

🐻 "Sure you wouldn't rather be out there with handsome young men your own age?"

🐻 The plain and simple answer is no... The longer answer is still no, but followed with lots of questions. For one, why on earth would you want to be with any of those arrogant younger men who waste all their money on snow and whiskey, who dont care for their women and sleep around... Your alfie is so good to you, devoted to you, takes care of you, hes your gruff and grumpy bear. You like thats hes a little old fashioned, that he has manners, that hes your old man.

🐻 Takes baths with you, candle lit, when the rooms all steamy he makes you lie back against his chest whilst he washes you. He hums you little tunes, tells you he thinks hes gonna write an opera one day. You joke and ask who will be his muse, you or tommy shelby. And when you make jokes like that he takes your wet hair and wraps it round his fist, tugs on it gently but harsh enough to pull your head back so that youre looking up at him.

🐻 "Remember our rules right ziskeit, you don't mention the name of the devil, we dont talk about cursed men right in this here home of ours" its like hes almost superstitious about it. Doesnt want you to say Tommys name because the man is cursed and the curse catches.

🐻 When you apologise you kiss each of his finger tips.

🐻 He bakes you bread (actual bread) all the time, especially when hes stressed, the kneeding is theraputic for him. Sometimes he gets you to help him, teaches you the proper way to do it with his hands over yours.

🐻 Eventually you move to margate together, he likes it better that way, thinks you can really be safe, thinks you'll finally be away from Tommy Shelby for good. He misses his old friend but he's glad to keep the curse away from you.

🐻 Can't sleep at night without you resting your head on his chest. Likes to comb his fingers through your hair until he falls asleep.

🐻 Likes to help you dress in the mornings, brushes your hair, lets you teach him how to make it pretty, but complains his fingers are too big and clumsy, not dainty like yours. But you like it better when Aflie does your hair for you, you feel prettier knowing his hands made you up like that.

Arthur

🍂 Tumultuous to say the least. This is one traumatised man and you accepted the ups and downs of your relationship a long time ago. Your one rule is that he never suffers alone.

🍂You want to go through everything with him, you never want him to be alone snowed up and sad drunk so even when he gets himself in a terrible state, even when he begs you to leave him because he doesnt want you to see him like that, you stay with him, you hold him whilst he cries, you weather his temper knowing he will never hurt you.

🍂 He does scare you, when he breaks things it scares you, but you know he loves you, you know its not really him but his illness, you've stood and watched him destroy a room before and then said "You gonna come here now and let your wife look after you?"

🍂 You hold his head to your chest and soothe him to sleep. Kiss his hair, tell him you know hes a good man. You tell him you love him all the time.

🍂 Despite the fact youre married he still has a complex, still thinks he doesnt deserve your love still thinks hes ruining your life, is terrified of corrupting you, but you never let those thoughts linger and refuse to take him seriously when he tells you.

🍂 "Dont be daft my darling husband, you deserve all the love in the world and I'll be damned if you get it from any woman but me..."

🍂 His heart is always in the right place even if his romantic plans dont always go to plan. Sometimes he buys you flowers but forgets to give them to you until theyve already wilted. Hes tried to cook for you and nearly set the house on fire.

You find it funny and endearing however, it means all the more to you that he tries so hard for you.

🍂 The sex is so good, and maybe a little relentless, because hes determined to be an honest man now he takes his full sexual appetite out on you and its exhausting in the best way possible. When hes pissed off you like to tease him into taking his frustration out on you sexually.

🍂 Naturally being the wife of a peaky blinder is dangerous, you and arthur both know that and your being so precious to him does mean that he is sometimes a little zealous trying to protect you.

🍂Men have lost teeth for looking at you.

🍂 And men who have actually tried to harm you... You didn't witness every death so you couldn't possibly say what happens to them...

🍂 Does make you feel powerful, you like how it makes you feel like a dangerous woman. You try to keep that secret though as arthur would hate to think he'd corrupted your morals in any way other than sexually.

John

🌼 John is a good husband because hes a good lad, a decent, honest, caring lad. He always did have a little more good in him than his brothers.

🌼 He takes being your husband seriously, he wants to provide for you, protect you, wouldnt see himself as a man if he couldnt keep his wife and home happy.

🌼 Wants a big happy family with you. Finds great comfort in sitting down at the kitchen table with all the weans running around, playing games like him and his brothers used to when they were kids, seeing you his wife there too. Its comforting to have this heavenly little bit of peace, even if its a kind of peace which is pure chaos.

🌼 Hes attentive, always checking in on his flower. He wants you to always be happy.

🌼 He's also still got the heart of a boy, hes childish and silly, likes playing games with you, will chase you around the garden, through the house, sling you over his shoulder when he catches you.

🌼 Plays with the kids, is a good father as well as a good husband, but definitely is the kind of father that ropes the kids into his tricks and uses them to help wind you up.

🌼 Cuddles up to you all the time, likes to catch your hand as you walk past him and pull you into a hug. Refuses to let you go, makes you put up a fight.

🌼 Lowkey always horny, is looking for any excuse and opportunity to fuck you.

🌼 Brings gifts back for you from the city, brings you flowers. Threads them through your hair.

🌼 Always trying to steal kisses from you.

🌼 At family meetings he stands by you, with his arm around your waist and his hand holding yours. He wont let anybody talk down to you. He takes protecting you very seriously.

🌼 Would throw himself in front of you, take a bullet for you, run into a burning building for you in a heartbeat. He takes being your husband very seriously.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is the sweetest husband and he takes being your husband very seriously indeed, sometimes a little too seriously, which is adorable.

🍀"I'm your husband, I've got to look after you," "Got to keep my lovely wife safe and sound haven't i..."

🍀Makes you all these promises of how your life will be when hes a world famous fighter.

🍀 Treats you like youre still courting, picks you wildflowers, takes pride in catching good meat for you. Brings you little gifts back from the city. Sometimes he steals you little gifts from the city.

🍀 A boy of tradition, couldn't see you the night before the wedding...

🍀 The wedding was in spring, it was pure and blissful, you danced the whole night with him around the fires. It was a raucous celebration by all accounts and when it came to consumating

🍀 Now he dreams of having children with you, wants to be a father to your babies so badly... And telling you that when hes burried inside you makes you both hold onto one another even tighter in your passion.

🍀 He used to be nervous to have you at his fights but now youre his good luck charm... Not that he needs any luck but still, he likes to be able to look over and see his little dove rooting for him.

🍀 You insist upon being the one to help him prepare for the fight, youre the one who wraps his hands carefully. You put your forehead to his and your noses brush when you tell him to make sure he wins. 🍀You also insist upon being the one to patch him up afterwards. He doesnt like you getting your hands dirty like that, says you shouldnt be the one cleaning him up but you always argue. "Womens hands are more delicate and careful than mens, and I'm not having any other woman back here with you..."

🍀Besides its a good way of getting him alone after the fight. You love seeing the animalistic side of him that the fights bring out in him and watching him in the ring makes you want him pretty desperately...

🍀 Especially because its the only time you can trick him into being anything but careful with you. You like how hard he fucks you when he's still burning with adrenaline.

🍀And then afterwards when youre both coming down together how gentle he is with you, how concerned he is that he might have gone too hard and hurt you.

🍀He'll hold you in his lap, still burried inside you, scatter you in kisses, especially if you happen to have bruises on your neck and shoulders from his bites.

🍀"I'm so sorry little dove, do you hurt?" "Its a good kind of hurt Bonnie, it feels good," but he'll make sure to kiss every one better multiple times whilst he tells you how precious you are.

🍀Its not that he's insecure, he isn't at all, he knows you'd never pay another man any mind whatsoever, but its the principle of things... He believes in his morals and traditions and thinks other men should too... You don't hit girls, you show women respect, you protect them... And you don't flirt with other mens wives.

🍀 So if someone isn't respectful enough of you for his liking, he'll teach them a lesson.

🍀 And when he catches other men looking at you with lust in their eyes, he makes a cheeky little display of kissing you and holding you and letting everyone know youre his.

🍀 Puts his cap on your head sometimes when youre walking. Just to let everyone know youre the wife of a peaky boy.

Isaiah

🐀No one thought they'd see Isaiah married so young, but when he found out you were carrying his child he didn't exactly settle down but he did show everyone how serious he was about you.

🐀His father did the ceremony, it was small but lavish. A family and peakys affair, with a roaring party at the Garrison afterwards.

🐀He has you give up working, won't have his wife and the mother of his child going to work when he can provide plenty enough for the three of you by himself.

🐀You worry about him a lot. Not because you dont think hes capable of looking after himself but because you know just how capable he is of getting himself into trouble.

🐀And he does get himself into trouble, especially over you, doesnt hesitate to pick a fight with anyone whose eye you catch, now that youre his wife he takes his role as your "protector" extra seriously, not only that but he views you as his property, and no one else should be laying a finger or glance at those which belong to him.

🐀You tell him all the time you wish he'd calm down a little, get into less scraps but he says "What kind of a husband would i be if i didnt defend the honor of my wife"

🐀Really likes reminding you that youre his wife... As if you could ever forget it. Tells you youre his all the time. Makes you tell him that youre his.

🐀"Who do you belong to?" when hes fucking you, "You Isaiah, you..." "And only me..."

🐀Just because youre his wife and an honest woman doesnt mean youre having pure and honest sex... Hes rough with you, fucks you hard and fast and mercilessly.

🐀Although he likes seeing you in his jacket, he sees it as a status symbol that his wife should have lots of glamourous things of her own, so you have your own coat, which he always reminds you to wear. "What kind of husband lets his wife leave the house half dressed?" you tell him hes being dramatic.

🐀But he doesnt see it that way, he thinks you deserve the whole world, all the glamour and riches you could ever wish for, he isnt going to give you and his baby anything less than just that.

🐀Is definitely a dominant husband, has lots of ideas about the way a marriage should be and he is determined to do things properly.

🐀Tells you youre the reason he takes on dangerous jobs, that everything he does with the peakys is for you, to get a better life for you and your baby.

🐀Doesnt listen when you say you dont need anything other than him, that you only need him alive and healthy and there with you. That success and wealth mean nothing if you can't have him with you.

Michael

☘️ He comes off as cold to you sometimes. He doesnt mean to but sometimes he upsets you when he gets distant, too focussed on impressing Tommy Shelby and living up to the family name.

☘️ But when he realises what hes done and how hes hurt you he softens and warms to you immediately. Doesnt apologise for the way he has been because this is Michael and he never apologises, but he does remind you why, tells you its all for you.

☘️ Youre not sure you completely believe him there, you know some of it at least is feeding his ego, he wants everything his cousin has and more, but youre happy to let him believe that you believe his lie.

☘️And he does spoil you, youre his wife and so you must have the best, be the most spoilt woman in the room, he buys you the most beautiful dresses, has them made special for you.

☘️ His favourite thing is to buy you jewelery, especially necklaces. He has you stand in front of the mirror and watch whilst he puts it around your neck and fixes the clasp.

☘️ Then he takes the rest of your clothes off one by one, until youre only wearing the necklace, and he fucks you in the mirror, "look at all these pretty things i own," hes talking about you, "my beautoful wife, isnt she good letting me dress her up and fuck her whenever i choose"

☘️ Loves the symbolism of marriage, that youre his property that he owns you and can corrupt you. Likes that youre a well behaved, good girl who does as her husband tells her.

☘️ Kind of enjoys seeing how other men lust after you, enjoys knowing that he really does have the most beautiful woman. If he catches tommy admiring you he is both smug and pleased with himself whilst also pissed off and possesive.

☘️ In other words he has crossed a line and threatened Tommy for admiring you.

☘️ He's arrogant and it gets him into trouble a lot. You spend a lot of time soothing his wounded ego and talking him down from potential fights and bad ideas

☘️ You use sex to distract him a lot, worshipping him and really showering his ego with praise.

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[msgrumpygills]

Dude we been saying but you guys dont listen.

It's obvious that Jared didn't know about any of this and was shocked by it and then had a pathetic meltdown on twitter. He even openly insulted Robbie Thompson, a writer, by calling him a coward.

It seems like Thompson, Bobo Berens, Kripke etc all knew but Jared didn't know about it, like, AT ALL??? And supposedly Jared and Jensen are ''BFF'' and ''brothers''. Lmao give me a break!!

This fall out has started way back, and I think you guys deep down know the reasons for this fall out but refuse to admit it. If Ackles family announced this project this means they have not been only thinking about it but also working on it together. With the addition and creation of Chaos Machine and their contract with WB, they have been planning this project for quite some time. Maybe even a year or so.

You guys are saying ''but Jensen told Jared about the potential SPN project before!!!!'' dude... casually mentioning doesnt mean shit. It still proves that Jensen&Danneel didnt want to include Jared at all and actually more than that even. They probably wanted him to not even hear about it. Not even learn that they have been working on this project.

In this case they have been planning and working on this project (with the creation of Chaos Machine also), then that means 'J2 fall out theory' has been going on for quite a while. Also Ackles and Pads families' fall out, and their disconnection from each other.

Not surprised. Pads have been acting quite cringe and like entitled people whom never learn or change. If I were Jensen or D, I'd want to cut them off too. Doesnt mean J2 are supposedly this two ''brothers UwU'' who care so much about each other and has been friends for years. No, shit. I've cut my ties with my parents and other friends whom I knew for more than 20 years!

It doesnt help that Pads' actions just worsen it. Jared is nothing but a man baby for not only going after Jensen but publically calling a writer coward in front of millions. Everyone is making fun of Jared now, and quite honestly he deserves it. He never changes or learns, as if he's a fucking baby or something. Dude's a middle aged man, for gods sake. Stop acting like he's a kid. He doesn't deserve pity for his incompetence and pathetic and entitled responses.

Anyways, fall out theory is real. I think there are a tons of reasons for that fall out (again, even if some of those reasons are the things you guys will never admit but...) this fallout didnt surprise me but I would be lying if I said that Jared's man child meltdown didnt catch me by surprise. All in all, what comes around goes around.

I can't speak for anyone else but to me it seems like Jared knew that there was a possibility. Jensen mentioned doing something Supernatural related that would have some of the cast on there. So Jared couldn't have been completely blindsided by it because Jensen mentioned the possibility TO HIM. As for them working on it for a long time, I'm not sure how long they've been actually working on it seriously. Jensen mentioned it at the panel, but if I understand correctly, the show is just in the early stages, so it wouldn't be something they would be working on for a year or something.

As for the families falling out, I think people have noticed the lack of "family togetherness" with them for a long time now. I know the wives sometimes comment to each other or like posts, but that's a rarity. I think there has been tension with the families since Gen blew up at Jensen and JDM even got involved. There was a reason Gen wasn't at the Morgan wedding and it wasn't because she was "watching the kids". I do agree that the Ackles' are smart for distancing themselves though because the Pads' are incapable of behaving like actual adults.

Just take a look at the difference between Jensen's social media posts and Jared's posts. Jensen has had virtually no drama, no embarrassing meltdowns or insensitive tweets. Then you get Jared who has had numerous tantrums, made some really gross comments about other people, etc. Don't even get me started on the differences in the wives either. The Ackles' are smart with PR and smart about their image and behavior. Have they made mistakes? Of course, everyone has, but not to the extent of Jared's mistakes.

Jared continues to act like an ass because no one ever holds him accountable for his actions. They just coddle him because "he's just emotional and needs to be protected" and because he has "mental illness". That's another whole thing because the fact that he's a "mental health advocate", he sure does a lot of damage by using his mental illness as a crutch to be an asshole.

The J2 fallout came as a surprise to me. Maybe I haven't been in the know for long enough though. I think they definitely weren't as close as they once were, but didn't expect a Jared Brand Twitter Fit aimed at Jensen.

Maybe this will teach Jared to think before he tweets. Maybe....

[philsmeatylegss]

I think people do simplify the john mulaney situation a lot, I for example dont think he just suddenly decided to break up with his wife for no reason after having been in a stable relationship, there were very likely problems that we have no idea about, and it could be that anna wanted to divorce him and not the other way around. And secondly, I absolutely agree him having a child right after rehab with another woman was irresponsible, but I dont think the baby was planned. Its not like they decided to try for a baby, it was probably an accident. I also dont think its fair to say (not that you have said this at all, just I've seen other people have this take) that they shouldn't have kept the baby, because while everyone should absolutely have the right and the choice to have an abortion, that is not something everyone can just do. I know for me personally, if I ever got pregnant, regardless of circumstance, outside of me being in physical danger, I could never make that choice for myself. The point of freedom of choice is that people have the freedom to choose either option.

Anyway I think the situation is far more complicated than people give it credit for, and as much as we may not like the situation, its not our situation to deal with, and we can only hope that that kid grows up loved and cared for and im sure they will.

no you’re totally right about the part where it’s a lot more complicated than what we see. the baby definitely wasn’t planned no offense to him but def an oopsie baby. the one thing i will always have the same opinion on is that the baby is the biggest victim as he had literally no contribution to what led up to him, yet he will have to deal with the consequences. john used to have a mindset of not wanting kids and more importantly he is freshly out of rehab literally barely a year. and i think she got pregnant two months after he was out. this is totally my opinion and i’m not saying i’m right, but john should’ve been spending this period working on himself and making sure he stays sober forever. a baby is so unbelievably stressful and for someone just out of rehab for a substance that makes you feel good and not present in the moment, even if he didn’t relapse, he probably thought about it and that’s not a person who should be a parent. at least at this point. i wouldn’t be as upset if this happened a couple of years after rehab where he was steady on his feet and happy with being sober. when i say i don’t think he should be a father, that’s also not meant in a mean way. it’s in a way that he’s not steady. obviously we know nothing compared to what actually happened, but basic knowledge is that the weeks and months and even years after going sober are extremely hard. john should’ve just focused on that and be proud of himself for making it. i also have complicated feelings about anna because it’s more than likely there is more to the story. then again, even if the marriage was rocky and all that, it doesn’t make it any better that in the months after the divorce john got a girl pregnant. no matter what details we don’t know that’s just a shitty thing. but it is true we don’t know everything. so i still don’t have any hard opinions towards her. nicole (i think that’s her name? the mom of the baby) is someone i really don’t like for the fact that, at least from what we know, she knew john was freshly out of rehab and it may have been better to take it slower. but i feel that way to an extent. it takes two people to make a baby so the blame is 50/50. i don’t like her but in her defense i don’t know much about her. but no matter what it will take a lot to convince me that it was a shitty thing to bring a kid into a shitty situation is okay. one last point is i also saw people who wanted the mom to abort the baby and that also made me so upset. being pro choice is being for a women to decide if she wants to keep a baby or not. and no matter what we think about her and john, it is not our fucking place to say what she should do with her body. if you claim to be pro choice and you thought nicole should’ve aborted the baby, you fucking suck.

that was way longer than i meant oops. i have a lot of feelings because this isn’t even all my feelings.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Anatole Brainrot* We’re Really In It Now, aka Anatole playlist annotations!

*I only have brainrot about him in terms of his relationships with Hélène and Dolokhov idc about him on his own 🤢

This playlist is infuriating because it has so many good songs on it and he does NOT deserve to have a playlist that slaps so hard :/

My Type - Saint Motel

“You’re just my type; you’ve got a pulse and you are breathing”

The lyrics are literally just I Will Have Sex With Anything That Breathes which is Anatole’s only personality trait. It just is.

Fool For Love - Lord Huron

“I’m asking her to be my bride, I know there’s another man but he ain’t gonna delay my plans”

This song is about eloping with a girl who already has a boyfriend, it is THE Comet section Anatole song. Which angers me because it’s such a good song, it doesn’t deserve to be associated with him in my head.

The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience

“Wine and women and wonderful vices”

HEDONISM BABEY!!! Also the phrase “wine and women” with “he spends his money on women and wine” in Comet...makes ya think.

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

“Look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me”

You know that quote that’s like “[Anatole] cultivated an air of superiority blah blah blah whatever” (paraphrased)? This is that in song form.

Bedroom Hymns - Florence + The Machine

“The wine and the women and the bedroom hymns”

Thottery AND the phrase “wine and women”? Anatolecore.

Talk - Hozier

“I’ll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I’m imagining you”

I think if he needs to, Anatole can sugarcoat carnal desire with pretty words. It kind of comes down to “I’m pretending to be eloquently and romantically interested in you but I really just want to have s*x with you”. He might not have that much self-control, but the bottom line is that this song is horny and so is he.

Someone New - Hozier

“I wake at the first cringe of morning and my heart’s already sinned”

All my notes say is “commitment issues thot anthem” which is fair. I think it’s physically impossible for him not to fall in love with someone new every week, which is the entire point of this song. Also “you knew who I was with every step that I ran to you” tracks, Anatole doesn’t really try to hide it.

Paradise City - Guns N’ Roses

“Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty”

I won’t lie, I’m not sure if this is what the song is actually about but that bit at least has hedonism energy. Also this came up on genius lyrics and it feels like something Anatole would do:

Hallelujah - Panic! At The Disco

“I got caught under the covers with secondhand lovers”

Ok whore. But also the vibes of knowing you’re a sinner and reveling in it feels like Anatole. It’s the complete lack of shame for me.

Why Should I Worry - Billy Joel

“Why should I worry? Why should I care?”

Has he ever actually cared about anything other than his own personal wellbeing? Jury’s still out. This song implies he has street smarts which may not be true but not every lyric is gonna work 😔✌🏻

Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel

“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun”

The entire song is just seducing a devoutly Catholic girl, and it doesnt exactly work but I always assign this in my head to that time he tried to marry Marya B. But just in general, the reckless seduction vibes work.

Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega

“To me flirting is just like a sport”

Unironically this is such an Anatole song. Listing off all his different lovers and their attributes is absolutely something he’s done. This is just a carefree thot song which is his vibe.

Ex’s and Oh’s - Elle King

“Ex’s and oh’s they haunt me like ghosts”

This is also on the Hélène playlist but this time the ex messing things up is his wife (not that any of that was her fault). I also think the general vibes of “I’m gonna make you want me so much and then leave you” are Anatoleish

Rasputin - Boney M.

“Russia’s greatest love machine”

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS DOESN’T WORK. It’s about the seduction of upper-class Russian women come ON

I’m Born To Run - American Authors

“I’m gonna live my life like I’m gonna die young”

This is almost a more wholesome version of his careless hedonism, more skewed toward seeing the world rather than just having drunken fun but the energy is still there

Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

“Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time”

It’s the “having fun is the only thing that matters” mindset. He doesn’t deserve this song 😔

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

I don’t have a lyric for this one, it’s just like. Yes I am a professional flirter! He is not this into commitment but i imagine he tells a new person this every week.

Oops!...I Did It Again - Britney Spears

“But to lose all my senses, that is just so typically me”

The lack of commitment and not treating relationships seriously is very Anatole, and so is the refusal to take responsibility for the heartbreak you directly caused.

How Bad Can I Be? - The Lorax

“How bad can I be? I’m just doing what comes naturally”

I KNOW I KNOW. HEAR ME OUT. This is pretty much Tolstoy’s “defense” of him verbatim. It’s the idea that he’s just so naturally like this it has never occurred to him to be any other way or to think about other people’s wellbeing. Anatole is the Onceler and Natasha is a straight girl on tumblr circa 2012.

Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars

“When I play, I never stay”

He would never be this self-aware, but otherwise it fits. The whole thing is about an inability to commit and a propensity for causing heartbreak. Also, I’ve had a grudge against this song for years and the blind rage it fills me with is reminiscent of the blind rage Anatole fills me with.

California Girls - The Beach Boys

“I’ve been all around this great big world and I’ve seen all kinds of girls”

This song is like, “What if we objectified every woman ever but made it a bop?” which is massive Anatole energy I think.

Girls, Girls, Girls - Motley Crüe

“I just need a new toy”

Literally the exact same justification as California Girls

It’s Raining Men - The Weather Girls

If I’m gonna add songs about objectifying women, I’m gonna add songs about objectifying men too. Equal opportunity whorery.

Parental Guidance - Judas Priest

“You say I waste my life away but I live it to the full”

This is just him to Vassily. Refusing to be controlled by your parents’ expectations and just going off to have fun is Vassily’s whole gripe with him and also the point of this song.

How To Be A Heartbreaker - MARINA

“You gotta have fun, but baby when you’re done you gotta be the first to run”

The bits about not getting close to anyone because you’re afraid of getting hurt don’t really apply but the “here’s how to make people like you and also we are for sure not staying together this is just for fun” definitely fit.

The STD Song - Top Memes

“Sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious”

I uh. I forgot this was on here but I was RIGHT when I added it. This is the lecture Vassily gives him after his Polish wife debacle-

Do It All The Time - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“I’m only doing anything I want to do because I do it all the time”

He literally just does whatever he wants without thinking about the consequences. It’s just got huge entitled kid thot energy which is Anatole’s whole character. And the line “I’m taking your girl and I’m making her mine” is deeply Anatoleish.

Until The Night Turns - Lord Huron

“I got a helluva view for the end of the world, I've got a bottle of booze and a beautiful girl”

This doesn’t fit into any particular situation but I do think if the world was ending and Anatole was drunk with a pretty lady he would have this exact reaction. Also the repetition of the word sunrise (which is what the name Anatole means) is just a fun little extra bit.

Girls - The 1975

“What’s the fun in doing what you’re told?”

Rebellious kid energy! Also “she can’t be what you need if she’s 17” is everyone with morals @ him about Natasha (I know she was 19 at the time shh it’s about the energy).

Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) - The Offspring

“In his own mind he’s the dopest trip”

This man is The Worst but he really thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips huh! Literally everyone can tell he’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch EXCEPT HIM. Smh.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, hope your doing well! 

1: Ran feels the same both before and after Ran forgave Ranbob. He cant help but feel guilty and tends to avoid bringing up past memories incase Ranbob doesnt remember them, cause he can't stand to see the confused look in Ranbobs eyes that soon turn to one full of sadness and a sort of emptiness. It makes Ran feel awful. It also causes Ran to think that their childhood and old relationship is gone. Which particularly keeps Ran distant from his brother, because he's scared and doesn't want to redo everything if Ranbob will just forget it.

8: All of the above. Cletus is a chaotic shit that loves creating and hearing about anything chaotic. Also he has burned down a few things in the past so he is a bit of a anarchist. They just had those cards, after all they knew they where gonna travel for a bit so why not bring playing cards to try to provide entertainment?

11: I forget if I said that (if I did then I changed it) but Ranbob actually knows that Ran is most likely dead as he wouldn't survive the night, but he still has some hope that his little brother survived.

---------

3: It was scary for him but because of the sudden turn of events he didn't really have time to register his feelings before he was getting smacked around and blinded. And yes cause Ran deserves a overprotective arc to show him that his group does love and care for him even if he thinks otherwise.

10: The townspeople act rationally to defend themselves. Even if that means they start fights because their not being respectful or kind. 

11: I'm not sure what they are. All I know is their the parent figure of the friend group but will also bite your ankles at a moments notice just because they want too.

14: Or Foolish just punts Jackie into the sand to protect his home from a possibility destructive teen. (I'm thinking yes to both of those, and we get to see one of the siblings embrace their enderside and just go crazy on Raq which leads to murder and trauma!)

15: For the cursing one I just love to imagine something like. 

Ranbob: *accidentally knocks over a stack of books* Shit!

Baby Ran: Shit!

Ranbob: *freezes and turns to look at Ran*

Baby Ran: *innocently smiling* Shit!

Ranbob: rAN NO--

(I've decided the group for this is going to be Technoblade, Phil, Ranboo, Tubbo, Karl, and Sapnap, and I may name the sub au like Brothers + Others cause it rhymes and I find it slightly funny). Oh Foolish is going to be terrified and scared for his safety, he's gonna have two hyper active teens climbing him like he's a jungle gym. Ran didnt want to help at first because he was to suspicious of them, but when proof was provided he changed his mind, and decided to take a risk to help them, but he still doesn't trust them fully. Plus, he felt bad after hearing their story, and couldn't help but sympathize with them because he felt that lost and confused at one time, and its a awful feeling. And while he won't admit it, he's curious about Ranboo and wants to talk to and get to know Technoblade, after all he did choose Techno as his idol. When the group first visited Kelalen, they got the Orphan Slayer as a gift, and because they did express some interests in going back to Mizu to see what they can do about Dream, so they got it to help them. So when Technoblade shows off his Orphan Slayer as possible proof, Watson brings out the groups Orphan Slayer and the two exact duplicate swords (expect for some nics on the GF group's sword) take most by surprise, and serve as some proof. Ranboo brings up his memory book, and since Ranbob read a bit of it, the two are able to perfectly recite a page of the book. And Karls watch, book he has of both Mizu and the Pit, and his knowledge about all groups are also proof. But even after proof the GF group is still somewhat suspicious that their who they say they are, but eventually they come to fully believe them. Ranbob is in awe. Because his ancestor is in front of him! He can ask questions he had about the history of the SMP and finally get answers! But he is also scared, because why is his dead ancestor here? Why are there so many others? What does this mean for him? Theres so much uncertainty that its hard for him to relax. The enderman hybrids get along well enough, but since Ranbob is a anxious mess, Ranboo is also an anxious and nervous mess, and Ran is bad with emotions, they dont get along super well. Tubbo and Jackie get along well and love to share stories about their respective enderman friend. Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous get along well and even with Sapnaps current predicament, he still joins in with jokes and pranks. Karl, Phil, Isaac, Watson, and Benjamin get along very well with their habit of leading and taking care of their friends, and because their the ones planning what to do with everything going on. Technoblade doesn't really get along super well with anyone from the GF group, but he takes an interest in Ran and Watson. Only Technoblade, Tubbo, and Phil are Ranboos haunting. Ranboo tries to get close to his decedents, and he success in some places but fails in others. The time group doesn't know about Ranbobs possession, purely because Ranbob begs his group to not tell them. But the time group also suspects that something is up, and while Sapnap and Techno want to push to find out what it is but they dont because Phil yells at them. For the fighting, Phil and Ranboo want to help but are told not too for now. Saying them intervening could make things worse. So they don't. But Ranboo breaks the rule cause he cant stand hearing the two fight anymore. 

Hi, and same to you!

1: Oh, ouch. The way you phrased it, he thinks Ranbob could still forget? Does Ran not know Dream caused it?

8: FGHJK-Anon. Anon. Hearing Cletus was a bit of an anarchist, just, made my day. Holy heck. Can you imagine Quackity’s reaction to hearing that? Oh my god, that’d be so funny. 

The cards are the only game they brought? Sounds like it might get boring quick. And a bored group makes for a chaotic one.

11: Ah, so it was a hope thing. Hm. I don’t think I’ve asked before- feel free to correct me if I have-, but, if Ranbob thought Ran was dead, how did he feel upon finding out he was alive-especially considering the circumstances.

-------------

3: Poor Ran. But also, yes! Overprotective arc! Let everyone go feral for the dude who’s always ready to do the same for them.

10: Hmm.

11(?): They...sound...interesting??? Honestly, I don’t think that answer settled my nerves at all, but y’know what, none of my business. The gremlin friend is whatever they are, and I will not question it further. 

14: Jackie’s just getting tossed around everywhere, huh. First by Ran, then by Foolish, who’s next up to yeet the child? (Also, yay! Murder and trauma, always fun!)

15: Pfft, oh goodness. That must’ve been fun to explain to his parents. 

----------------

Hey, it does rhyme! Nice. 

Poor Foolish. He had a mostly nice life before Tubbo’s return, probably. Oh well. And Techno’s got a traumatized fan now, that’ll be interesting. What does he do with his new-old future sword? Duel wield? Let the GF group keep it? 

Two anxious endermen and one who’s bad with emotions, what emotional pain will they cause each other?

What kind of stories do Jackie and Tubbo share? Funny ones? Blackmail? 

Sapnap, Cletus, and Grievous sound like a terrifying force, and honestly, for the sake of everyone else, I hope a prank war never sparks between them and Tubbo and Jackie. 

Do the leaders of the group all kind of take charge together in light of this situation? In what ways does Ranboo succeed, and in what ways does he fail? How does Sapnap and Karl not being part of his haunting effect their relationship with the GF gang, considering they all are? Do they ever become part of a haunting?

Do they find out about the possession, and if so, reactions? What happens when Ranboo involves himself in the fighting? Does it get better, or worse?

[raccoonhearteyes]

Hi! Have a day! This is going to be a little bit long, so feel free to skip the story or skim it or whatever! Batting cages was a lot of fun! Like a lot! But knowing me, somehow I got hurt! Dont ask me how because I still dont understand how suddenly one of the balls hit my thumb? It didnt break or anything, but it got so swollen! I wouldnt doubt if I somehow fractured it! I had a nurse to take good care of me though! :) So it did end up raining and we went back to my place and hung out and ordered food, and started watching movies! I love board games, and I have more than I'm willing to admit, so I suggested we play one, and she was down! So we went to my room and, theres a bit of a back story for this! So my friends and I always buy each other the dumbest things we can think of! I literally got a friend a painting of a burrito, its one of the best things I have ever gotten for anyone! So, one of my friends decided to get me a sesame street bedsheet, and another one got me a monsters inc pillow case, and another got me a pink unicorn blanket! I've been using them for a while, figured theres no reason to change them, right? So we go to my room because my games are all stacked my closet, and the nurse just starts laughing! I've had my bed setup like that forever, so I honestly didnt think anything of it! But my face starts to burn, and most likely turn red, because I thought I left a pair of underwear out or something! When she finally stopped laughing, she looked at me so seriously and put her hands on my shoulders and just goes, "I plan on fucking you in your hilariously mismatched bed." At that point I literally couldnt talk and just stood there! Things happened, obviously, and well... yeah! We played board games and ate food and it was fun! This might sound really lame, but we talked a lot about what we expect in a relationship and what our plans for the future is and everything, and we seem to have a lot of the same ideals, and everything seems to be going well and we have a lot of things in common!  ButIkindareallylikeheralotandIkindahopeshesortamaybefeelsthesame? I know it's only been 2ish dates, but yeah, I dont know! Sorry this was super long! Walrus can grow up to 11 feet long and weigh up to, I think it was 3000 lbs?

Wow your nurse has 0 chill. I hope you gave the unicorn a good show 😂 I’m not at all surprised you somehow injured yourself, but I hope your thumb is okay.

Panda base in China gets new baby pandas every year and I’ve never wanted to work somewhere so badly.

[kissable-vance-medici]

||Temeplate credit to @video-space !! ||

[INFO]

Name: Leilani christan ormsby/thistlewaite

Gender:Male

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality:Gay

Weapon/fighting style of choice: Paddles/ Bats

[DIALOGUE]

Greetings:

-"Well hello, mind for a talk James?"

-"Hopkins! Greetings, a moment of your time please?"

-"Jimmy, can we speak?"

-"James, How are you?"

Saying Goodbye:

- "I have to go check on my baby Perri, see you later James"

- "Well times ran out, I have to hear another phone call from my mother."

- "I best be going, my designs aren't going to finish themselves!"

-"Fare well Hopkins, I have to catch a gift from my Fathers' in the office about now"

Chasing:

- "Get back here, you, you doormat!!"

- "Once I catch you, you'll be hearing from three lawyers!"

-"Stop running, face me coward!"

Out of breath:

- "I'm wasting time, you're lucky I have plans today.."

- "No..Wait till I catch my breath then you'll be unlucky.."

-"Oh! My side! Heavens I need to run more.."

Walking around talking to themself:

- "My Daddies won't stop sending me hideous sweaters!"

- "Sometimes I wish I did come out a girl just so my mother would leave me alone about the subject"

- "Dresses aren't that bad to wear, mommy used to make me wear them when I was small! Maybe they're just tad itchy is all.."

- "Would life for me be much better if i was born a girl, well maybe for mommy's life.."

- "Having two dads ain't so bad as mommy always told me.."

- "My Daddy isn't as bossy as Mommy, I wish she'd get boys are more better than girls"

- "Only good gift I've gotten from my Daddies is Perri, no boy could replace him when it comes to those nights.."

-"Perri is what's keeping me from giving into my mothers wishes of what she wants"

-"Perri is like a baby to me, speaking of, I should go down to buy him treats"

-"My Mother says kissing boys here is dangerous, I think the only good advice she's given my entire life"

-"Maybe lower class boys can be handsome, well MAYBE can at least.."

Conversing:

- "Did your Mother ever make you say you were a girl?"

- "You know those rubber things in the small packages? I don't think it's gum.."

- "You know James, you are cute but I wish you dressed less poor so if we were seen together my parent's would suspect a thing!"

- "I think I have Scoliosis, I've been forgetting a lot of things"

- "When I was little I found this strange collar in my Daddies' room, I'm still wondering if they were gonna get me a puppy."

- "What do you normally shop for James?"

- "Do you think when you drink blue punch, your pee is blue? I swear some toilets suspiciously have Blue in them"

- "My mommy had a small dog named Lily when I was 7, she liked dirt, reminds me of the jar of dirt I used to make a dirt mountain in the living room when she strangely vanished.."

Conversation Response:

- "Oh my."

- "Indeed."

-"Quite interesting, may you say more."

- "Undertsable, I get that."

- "Couldn't get that, but I will try."

Complaining:

- "Maybe for once boys dressed nice I'd kiss them!"

- "I wish my Mommy would lay off, only if I had the guts!"

- "God dammit, I stepped in gum!I think I'm gonna cry…"

- "Perri accidentally pooped on my arm when I was chatting with a cute boy, I cant believe he'd do me like this!"

- "My last pair of underwear is once again missing! These pants are really not soft, think I'm getting another rash on my- you know where!"

Unknown/Cut Dialogue:

- "It is normal to faint five times after a hot shower?"

- "My Mother is getting on my back after that date with one of the bullies, wish she got that he actual showers?"

- "What the hell is a V card, is there letter cards I never heard about? And why do people always take them?"

- Sometimes I'll be doing something but blink and find myself on the floor, I don't get what the nurse means by neurocardiogenic syncope? Is that like a sleep thing?"

-"I have 10 brothers, no wonder my mom wanted me to be a girl"

Starting fight with Cliques:

[Bullies]

- "God, I hope your pimples don't pop during a punch!"

- "Bet you fight like you dress, poorly!"

- "You nothing more than pennies on the ground!"

- "Come at me you heathens!"

[Greasers]

- "I'll be washing my hand when I'm done with you!"

- "Under all that leather is nothing more but a walking non-sqeak door canister!"

- "Don't slip on your hair gel when you get a run start!"

-"Fast food places use less grease than you put in your hair!"

[Nerds]

- "You may have brains, but i know you dont have brawl!"

- "You're weaker than my baby cousin!"

- "You're gonna wish you keep that nose in a book!"

- "Hope you like not seeing for a week, four eyes!!"

[Jocks]

- "Keep those sweaty hands away from me!"

- "Smells like wet jockstrap!"

- "Come at me you Sport freaks!"

-"Football dont teach you punching skills!"

[Townies]

- "Glad bullworth doenst have you in it"

- "Proud Derby dont waste money on you!"

- "Ready to get a taste of Bullworth!"

- "I'd sue you but I dont think you have enough money to even pay for a parking hours at the cournt house!"

Requesting an errand:

- "James, If you do this thing for me maybe you can buy better clothes?"

- "Quite an heavens call, Hopkins I need help!"

- "Speak of the devil, James I need a errand please, help one out"

- "Jimmy dearest, mind getting em a few things? I'll pay extra!"

Friendly Comments:

- "Good evening James, you look stunning for once!"

- "Proper clothes, Hopkins I'm quite shocked"

- "Jimmy, ya know Perri doesnt find you all that bad?"

- "James, you make me question if some boys do have have taste here"

Unfriendly Comments:

- "Whered you find those? Bottom of your moms drawer?"

- "At least I have two daddies"

- "Move aside, I dont need to waste my eyesight on you punk"

- "The only thing thatd describe you is what you find vomited near the dumpster melted in the pavement"

[EXTRA]

Demanding flowers:

- "Maybe a little something can make me not mind your clothes?"

- "A gift would be nice if you really cared"

- "Honey, if you didnt have the fashion to ask me out, do you have the gift to make up for it?"

After receiving flowers:

- "I hope you checked for spiders, I might cry"

- "Well, i mean, clothes arent all that important right now.."

- "Quite nice of you James, ain't you a sweetheart?"

Before kissing:

- "I quite flattered, come here baby"

- "A kiss?Been awhile since a nice boy asked me this"

- "Let me see what's it like to kiss boys like you"

Post-kiss:

- "Oh James, I quite enjoyed that"

- "You know, maybe if your open tonight, I can measure some designs on you?"

- "I now get what Gord means"

- "We cant hold hands, I dont want any longer calls with my mother, BUT James I do appreciate this"

[PHOTO OF YOUR OC]

Tags: //Honestly i dont know who to tag 😔// @video-space @gordvendomewhore