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junova · 4 years ago

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𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.

notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.

if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3

pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader

concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.

wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]

warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨

Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.

Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.

It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.

He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.

Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.

He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.

Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.

He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.

The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.

When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.

As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.

“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”

You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.

“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.

Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.

No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.

“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.

Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.

“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.

“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.

Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”

Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.

“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.

Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.

“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.

“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.

Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.

At least in their eyes.

“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.

“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.

“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.

It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.

When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.

In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.

“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.

“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”

Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.

You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.

When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.

Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.

“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.

Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.

Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.

You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.

“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.

But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.

“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.

“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.

“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.

“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.

“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.

“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.

Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.

Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.

He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as

lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.

When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.

Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.

Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.

Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.

“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.

“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.

“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”

Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.

The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.

“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.

“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.

You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.

“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.

“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.

“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.

“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.

“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.

“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”

The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.

The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.

“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.

When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.

He could tell, too.

You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.

Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.

Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.

“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.

They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.

“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.

“I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.

“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.

“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.

Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.

“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.

“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.

As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.

“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.

“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.

“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.

Because you’re here.

It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.

“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.

The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”

“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.

Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.

He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.

“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.

“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.

You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.

“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.

If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.

“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.

It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.

“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.

“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.

“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”

“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”

The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.

But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.

“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.

“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.

“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.

“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.

“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.

“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.

“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.

The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.

“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.

He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.

The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.

Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.

“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.

“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.

It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.

In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.

Steve picked you.

It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.

Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.

“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.

Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.

You had a feeling he already did.

His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.

“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.

“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.

Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.

Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.

“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.

Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.

The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.

You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?

Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.

“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.

“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.

“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.

“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.

“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.

“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.

“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”

“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.

“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.

“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.

“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.

“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.

“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.

Someone you wanted more.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.

He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.

He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.

With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.

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justxaxstrayxkid · 4 years ago

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Ranking every outfit Nora has worn

I've rated her human names and I've ranked her vessel names. Now it is time to rank all of her outfits 10 to 1. Why am I doing this? Because I'm a sucker for pretty clothes and babygirl is a fashion icon. These are just my opinions obviously so don't take them seriously. Though I am being dead serious when I say Mizuchi invented the fashion industry. What I want people to take away from this post is that we, as a society, need to respect Mizuchi's drip. No pun intended hehe

10. Childhood Kimono

No sense calling it the childhood kimono when she's always gonna be a child but idk what else to call this. I put this fit last because it's quite basic. There's not much to talk about here. I don't have any particular feelings towards it either. I do think the pink obi is cute. Mainly cuz pink is my favorite color. Also is it just me or does the kimono look way too big on her?

9. Childhood Kimono Enhanced ver.

This is the same exact fit as the last one and it only appeared in the one-shot manga bout Rabo and Yato but I want to rank it separately because of her accessory. She's just too cute with that little bow in her hair! Don't mind me fangirling over that bow like it's a national treasure. The sandals are nice new touch too.

8. Pink Kimono

This one is only shown in anime during the flashback scene where Yato massacred the ma clan. I love this kimono because it's in my favorite shade of pink. There isn't much to say about it though. It's pretty basic so I put in this spot

7. Volume 8 Kimono

This fit appeared on the cover of volume 8 of the manga. I have to admit, this fit is kinda crazy. Like the grape (??) socks, the random checkerboard pattern, the green hiyoku, the flower pattern, the flower in her hair. It all seems very random. But I actually think it goes together well! A hot mess can sometimes turn out beautiful. I like the way she looks with a flower in her hair. Mizuchi with hair accessories equals world domination. And why tf does that ayakashi doggie have a paper crane in its mouth? That's more random than the outfit lmao.

6. Fruit bowl Kimono

This one only appeared in a colored page of the manga. Can't remember what chapter or volume it was in exactly but I think it was in beginning. This kimono is very beautiful. The pattern on it reminds me of fruit bowls lol. Babygirl rlly has the best fashion sense ever. You can't change my mind on that. And she's wearing a hair accessory here! Rejoice!

5. Boysenberry Kimono

I think the color is boysenberry but I’m not sure. My eyesight isn’t that good. So this fit is from a Kami To Enishi card. The game is discontinued but I just couldn’t not add this fit in. It’s so pretty! The color of the kimono matches her eyes which is my favorite aspect of the outfit. I think the pattern on it is supposed to be temari balls. Or maybe it's supposed to be beach balls. Of course we can’t forget to mention the bow! Tbh I don’t think it matches with the rest of the fit. But hey, it matches better than the whole volume 8 ensemble. I still like the bow and I’m glad she’s wearing it!

4. Capybara Fit

First of all, how the heck do you spell capybara? I’ve seen it spelled in 5 different ways. Second of all, I LOVE THIS FIT MORE THAN MY FUTURE CHILDREN! Seriously it’s so cute! She rocked the whole world when she put this on. I screeched when I first read the chapter this was in. That's the sheer power of this outfit.

3. Yurei Fit

Next is babygirl's classic outfit, the yurei outfit! This fit is so iconic I had to put it in the top three. I have a lot to say about it. In a way, this fit is part of the reason why I got into Noragami. Like I'm an avid horror fan and I especially love any media that has to do with yurei. Yurei are Japanese ghosts for those of you who don't know. I saw a gif of Mizuchi here on tumblr and her character design caught my eye. I thought Noragami was going to be in the horror genre because of this fit. If she wasn't wearing this fit, I probably wouldn't have become interested in Noragami at all. Thank you to the yurei fit for getting me into this amazing series. I love her personal touches to it. Like the way she wears her hitaikakushi slanted, her big obi, her gauntlets, and her hiyoku. Her hiyoku had this lil flower pattern on it in the first few chapters. That was super adorable. It's a shame she never wears it again. Yurei are usually depicted just wearing a simple white kimono and with long hair. But babygirl has her own personal touches and she has a bob cut. She is rlly out here being a trendsetter for dead people in Japan. A round of applause for this fit.

2. Flower print Kimono

Excuse the poor quality pic. You've probably figured out by now that I have a thing for flower patterns lol. That's exactly the reason why this is my second favorite outfit of hers. It's one of her more simple fits. But I think it's to die for! Pun fully intended ;) If I remember correctly, in the past, she and baby Yato stole this from someone they killed. Sorry but I find that hilarious. R.i.p to whoever this kimono belonged to. You may have been killed but you didn't die in vain because a rlly cute girl has your kimono now. I wonder if babygirl would ever pull this out of her closet and wear it again. She may not even have it anymore since the flashbacks where she wore this were like centuries before Noragami takes place. This kimono might've already become tasty grub for moths :(

1. School uniform Fit

Of course, the school uniform is first. This fit literally invented the fashion industry! No one can tell me otherwise. Words can't fathom how cute babygirl looks in this. As a school girl who's been to multiple schools with uniforms, I think I'm qualified to say that Mizuchi looks better than anyone else in a school uniform. It's not just how she looks either but also the fact that Hiyori gave it to her. That really warms my heart. This fit did so much for the world. Like I've said before, it will go down in history as one of the best things to happen in fiction.

#nora noragami #noragami #mizuchi #hiiro #tsutsumi #furuhime #eyami #nora the fashion icon #if i missed an outfit don't tell me #i'll probably cry if i find out #it took me days to make this

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nighting-gale17 · 5 years ago

Note

I was wondering if you'd be interested in a prompt I've been thinking about. (So buck isn't a firefighter never was, but eddie is and he gets excepted to 118 at the same time he does in the show. And over little conversions the firefam has with eddie they release that he is married to a guy named buck and has a disabled kid). Bonus points for British buck because I live like two blocks away from were oliver stark grow up, my older sister went to school with him

Thanks for this prompt! It was really cute and tbh I had a lot of fun writing it! So basically, in this fic buck never joined the 118 and tommy is still on the team. Hope you enjoy it!

Feel free to send me more prompts you guys :) I love writing these

5 times eddie mentioned buck and 1 time the team met him in person

[1]

The first time Eddie mentioned his husband was when he first met the team and Chimney caught a glimpse of the black band with a red line on his left hand.

“Hey, man, you married?” Chimney had asked, a curious look on his face.

Hen watched as a lovestruck smile spread across Eddie’s face and he nodded, voice proud as he responded, “Yeah. Going on seven years, now.”

“Wow. Pretty impressive.” Tommy let out a low whistle. “You’ll have to bring her around some time, man.”

“Uh, him. Actually.” Eddie corrected, a nervous yet defensive tone to his voice.

Hen felt a grin spread over her face as she clapped him on the shoulder. “Even better, then. My wife would love to meet the two of you.”

At that, Eddie’s entire stance visibly relaxed and his smile turned genuine. “He’d probably like that.” He perked up even more when Tommy asked if he had any pictures and wasted no time in whipping out his phone and fondly showing off a few pictures of their happy little family.

[2]

The second time Eddie mentioned his husband was when the earthquake hit. Hen had already gotten ahold of her wife and been reassured both her and Denny were safe in the house, just a little shaken up. Eddie had been staring at his phone while they sat in the ladder truck, eyebrows furrowed together in worry.

“Everything okay?” Hen asked, shouting to be heard above the roar of the engine and the sirens blaring through the air.

“Yeah.” Eddie glanced up briefly before staring back down at his phone. “Just trying to get through to my husband.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Hen reassured him. “The phone lines are probably just too busy for anyone to get through them.”

He gave her a small smile but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Where’s he supposed to be?” she asked, because some buildings in LA are more earthquake-resistant than others.

“At school with our son,” he said after a minute, his smile softening a little. “He’s a special education elementary school teacher.”

“The school buildings here in LA are the safest place your family could be,” Hen promised as the ladder truck came to an abrupt stop outside of a high-rise. “They remodeled all of them a couple years back. They’re practically indestructible.”

“Thanks, Hen.” Eddie gave her a small smile, looking a little less tense than he had moments before.

“Anytime, Eddie. You’re part of the team, now.” she gave him a cheeky grin before she hopped out of the truck to survey the damage done by the earthquake.

[3]

“Hey, Bobby, can I talk to you for a second?”

Bobby glanced up to see Eddie standing on the other side of the counter, looking a little nervous. “Sure kid,” he put the bowl of meat he had been working on for dinner to the side and wiped his hands off in the sink. “What do you need?”

“I know I’ve only been working here for a few months,” Eddie began, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I was wondering if I could take a few days off in a couple weeks.”

“Is everything okay?” Bobby asked with a small frown. It was a little unusual for Eddie to make this request—he hadn’t taken a single sick day since he started, much less ask for a day off.

“Yeah, no, everything’s great.” He smiled a little sheepishly. “It’s my husband and mine’s wedding anniversary coming up and I wanted to take him someplace special for the weekend. If you can’t give me the time off, I understand,” Eddie rushed to continue, that nervous look reappearing in his eyes. “I know I haven’t exactly been here long enough to—”

Bobby raised his hand, cutting Eddie off in the middle of his ramble. “Take the time off, Eddie,” he replied with a fond smile. His heart ached for a minute when he thought about his own wedding anniversary—how excited he always was to spend the day with his wife every year.

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and gave Bobby a bright grin. “Thanks, Bobby. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Bobby’s smile turned mischievous. “You can thank me by helping me get the rest of dinner ready for the crew.”

“Yes, sir.” Eddie laughed, rolling up the sleeves of his uniform and joining Bobby behind the kitchen counter.

[4]

“So, Hen, you and Karen are going to be— what?” Tommy asked one day, tossing a bite of popcorn into his mouth and grinning proudly when he caught it.

“We’re going to be Sally and Jack Skellington.” Hen informed them, a small smile on her face. “Denny is going to be the skelly-dog, Zero.”

“Chim and I are going baseball players.”

Chimney felt his cheeks flush hotly at the thought of the costumes Tommy had shown him the other day. He was never going to hear the end of it after the part, but, fuck, he had to admit they both looked hot in them.

“What about you, Eddie?” Tommy asked, craning his neck back to peer at Eddie sitting in the reading chair to his left. “What are you and your boo dressing up as?”

“Well, Christopher has been on a Pirates of the Caribbean kick recently,” Eddie admitted, a small smile on his face. “So we’re going as pirates. Buck is, as usual, going all out with this. He started seeing the costumes almost two months ago.”

“He’s sewing them?” Chimney asked curiously, a little impressed.

“Yeah.” Eddie’s gaze softened as he spoke. “He volunteers on the weekend at the children’s hospital to dress up as superheroes to cheer them up. He makes all his own costumes because he insists it’s cheaper for him to make them himself then buy it on the internet.”

Chimney let out a low whistle. “Damn, Eddie. Did you marry a Disney prince or something?”

Eddie let out a groan at that, a smile pulling at his lips. “Don’t say that around him—he’ll start getting ideas.”

[5]

Tommy loves Thanksgiving.

He loved other holidays as well (Christmas held a particularly special place in his heart) but at Thanksgiving, there was so much food.

“I’m telling you, man, stuffing is one of the best dishes.” Tommy insisted, twisting and turning to look at Chimney for back up.

“It’s good.” His boyfriend acknowledged though it lacked enthusiasm. “My favorite is the turkey, though.” he shot Tommy an apologetic look.

“That reminds me,” Bobby cut in before Tommy could reply. “You’re all invited to our home for Thanksgiving this year. Athena insisted and it would be nice to be with everyone outside of work.”

“Yes!” Tommy replied immediately. “We’ll be there. Athena makes the best stuffing…” he sighed, his mouth-watering slightly just at the thought of the sergeant’s cooking.

“You can count us in too, Cap.” Hen answered with a small smile.

“What about you, Eddie?” Bobby asked, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel as he finished washing up the dishes.

“I would love to, Bobby, but Buck and I are hosting my family for Thanksgiving,” he said apologetically. “Buck tends to go a little overboard on holidays. He didn’t have the best childhood growing up so holidays are always a little extravagant at our house.”

“How extravagant?” Chimney asked curiously, his curiosity only growing when Eddie’s smile turned sheepish and he ducked his head.

“Well, I have a lot of family, so we usually have to end up cooking at least two turkeys, not to mention the side dishes. My abuela usually comes over to help but Buck refuses to let me into the kitchen.” he rolled his eyes fondly. “He practically takes over our kitchen for the entire day.”

“Remind me to send you my mashed potatoes recipe,” Bobby told Eddie, a small smile on his face. “I guarantee it’ll make his life a lot easier if he follows that.”

“Thanks, Cap!” Eddie shared his smile. “Mashed potatoes are his favorite so I think he’ll enjoy it.”

“Okay, but, onto the more important question.” Tommy broke in, face serious. “Does he make stuffing?”

[+1]

The first time Hen actually got to meet Eddie’s husband, Evan, or Buck, as they’ve been told he prefers to be called, it was at the annual Christmas party in the station. She’d been chatting with Karen about what color to paint the nursery when she spotted Eddie walking up the stairs with an, admittedly gorgeous, man at his side with an eye-catching birthmark on his left eye and a young boy on his shoulders.

“Eddie!” Hen greeted, smiling as he walked towards them in the kitchen and placed a casserole dish on the counter.

“Hey Hen, Karen.” He smiled, leaning forward and hugging Hen’s wife and placing a friendly kiss on her cheek. “You look radiant.”

Oh no, Hen thought to herself, watching as Karen blinked back tears and hugged Eddie tightly before she let him go. She was extremely emotional from the pregnancy and any time someone complimented her while she was pregnant she just about started bawling. It was as endearing as it was embarrassing.

“This is my husband, Evan, and our son, Christopher.” Eddie introduced them, a proud look in his eyes and a fond smile on his face.

“Hello. It’s lovely to finally meet you both.” Buck said, a friendly smile on his face.

Oh. OH.

If Hen wasn’t so gay she might’ve swooned.

“You’re British?” Karen asked, a note of surprise in her voice.

Buck’s smile turned shy. “I grew up in London—that’s where I met Eddie, when he was overseas during his first deployment.” he turned and looked at Eddie with a lovesick expression on his face. “We kept in touch and started dating when he was on his second deployment. Then I moved here to LA with him.”

“That’s so romantic.” Karen sniffled, leaning her head against Hen’s shoulder.

“Papa, cookies!” Christopher tapped on the side of Buck’s face, pointing to the decorated sugar cookies laying out on the table.

“Yeah, I see them, buddy.” Buck laughed, reaching up to grab Christopher and set him on the ground. “But you can’t have any cookies until after dinner, remember?” he crouched down and stage whispered into his ear, glancing up at Eddie. “But you and I can split one when your dad isn’t looking.”

Christopher nodded, giggling into his hand before Buck led them away, exaggeratedly checking to see if Eddie was looking before nabbing a cookie off the counter and scurrying away towards the couches where the rest of the team was gathered.

“He’s cute,” Hen told Eddie. “Like a puppy.”

Eddie’s reply was lovesick. “Yeah, he is, isn’t he?”

#911 #911 fox #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck #christopher diaz #hen wilson #howie han #bobby nash #911 au #i love these two dorks

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tu-mint · 4 years ago

Text

“The Lemonade” Guy Pt. 1

When Jade realizes her feelings for a certain schoolmate go beyond a friendship, she makes a tremendous effort to rid herself of it.

Song Inspo(s): Wicked Games - Kiana Lede; I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Hercules

International AU!

Word Count: 4k+

There was rarely ever something Jade tried to avoid other than the topic of Manu. The reactions that came upon his death were much too triggering to her anger, and she refused to allow that level of rage to overcome her again; thankfully this was not the case. Now while that was a relief, the actual issue being avoided proved to be almost as troubling, and the foreign girl did not realize the matter until recently.

UA High was bustling with noise and movement, people curious about the UA students from different parts of the world. Jade was blessed to have been shown secret entrances and passageways by Ren as to avoid news reporters. While it wasn’t anything she wasn’t unfamiliar with, the second year student knew uncomfortable and personal questions would turn up if given the chance, so she decided staying in the shadows would be safe for now. Stepping onto school grounds, Jade found Maeda, Kubo and Ren chatting with two students she could not recognize. One was a girl with long cyan hair and a bright expression, and the other a boy with his head turned away from the trio. Hm...maybe they're new kids? It was difficult to tell whether or not they were around the same age as her, but Jade concluded they were older looking at their height. The girl craned her neck to look over her shoulder then gasped loudly.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshisthisher?!" She sped towards the international student and stretched a hand outward, grinning widely. "Nejire Hado, third year here at the original UA! You must be Jade, I was just asking your friends about you, and I heard you were from Los Angeles! Tell me what it's like! Is the food really good? What about the school? Is it different from the UA here? Ooh, what about your father? Is it true about him being a Pro Hero? What's his quirk? Is it like yours? Wha--"

"Easy Hado, she just got here," Ren intervened with a light chuckle. "Well, she already introduced herself, so that leaves the guy hiding behind her, Tamaki Amajiki, also a third year student. He's a bit shy as you can see." Jade leaned on her side to find the indigo haired male from earlier, head hung low and arms crossed tightly. She gave a small smile when he peeked up from the locks curtaining his face, pleased when he gave a single nod.

"It's nice to meet you both," chirped the foreign girl with a bow to which Hado squealed.

"And she's respectful! Ah, such an intriguing new person to meet--oh! I have to introduce you to Mirio, you'll love him, most girls do. Now where is he--" She scampered away with Tamaki in tow, slipping into the sea of students and staff members. Jade watched on with a scowl on her face. Most girls do? What is she trynna say, that I'm gonna be part of some bandwagon? She felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her out of her thoughts.

"She didn't mean it like that," came Ren's voice again. "Hado has a very blunt and unconventional way of speech, don’t mind her."

"It's something she can work on considering she wants to pursue becoming a Pro Hero," Maeda interjected, her tone flat but firm. Jade hummed in agreement and looked amongst the other pupils. Upon seeing the many faces, her eyes became fixed on one that stood out.

In a large crowd of females stood a tall and bulky male, his smile gleaming and proud. He appeared to be speaking to them, a round of giggles following soon after whatever he’d said. There were a few international students Jade recognized taking pictures with him and handing him slips of paper, presumably with some kind of social contact on it. That must be who the girl was talking about seeing he has an entire--wait a minute! It wasn’t until he looked up that she realized why the male seemed familiar. That’s the guy who I ran into at the entrance! The one who gave me that stupid nickna--

“Gemstone!”

Jade cursed inwardly as he advanced in her direction. She glanced at the entourage behind him, their faces surprised or annoyed, and it didn’t help that some of them were now moving closer too. Her feet were glued in place as the male stood before her, a cheeky grin evident on his face. Blonde hair, blue eyes, nice body...definitely the same guy from the first day.

”Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten my name already,” he chuckled, crossing his arms. Jade noted how the gesture made his already defined muscles tighten. An odd tension arose in her abdomen, but she quickly dismissed it and cleared her throat.

”Togata if I remember correctly.” The foreign girl bowed, remembering her manners. It was best to keep a respectful image considering the person before her was not only older, but one of the most skilled students attending the original UA. “It's good to s—“

”Togata, I need some help getting to my classes," a voice suddenly cut in. It came as a realization to Jade that a majority of the girls from earlier were now surrounding them. The person who had spoken was an international student herself, but she didn't look too pleased that all the attention was on someone else. Her hand crawled up Togata's arm in a suggestive manner before resting at his shoulder. "I'm not too familiar with UA Japan's complex," she continued, "so it would help a lot."

"Ooh wait, I think I need help too!" someone else from the crowd piped.

"I do as well!"

"Me too!"

Soon numerous hands were tugging at the tall male with pleads and demands of showing them around the school. Jade watched as Togata weakly smiled and tried to talk amongst the bunch with reason; it proved useless as they continued to grab at him from every direction. An unusual feeling rushed to her torso again, but something felt much different from earlier. In place was a strong stinging sensation, not enough to hurt but enough to generate irritation. What in the hell--

"Something wrong, Lofota?" Maeda's voice snapped Jade back into reality. Ren and Kubo were before her, curiosity etched on their features. From her peripheral line of vision she could see the bulky third year being dragged away with a familiar cyan and indigo haired duo following close behind.

"We saw Togata and his groupies approach you, but you looked as if you were ready to jump at one of them," Kubo remarked. "I personally don't mind, just give me a heads up next time so I can record it for memories." Maeda rolled her eyes at this.

Jade chuckled and shook her head. "It wasn't anything like that, guys, I think my mind was just occupied with something else. Let's try and get to class before news reporters start breaking through the gates." She walked alongside the trio and listened to them explain UA Japan's school system and the events that were set throughout the year. Despite her nonchalant attitude, the sting remained in Jade's stomach; she figured it would go away after some medication and rest.

It took a little over a month for the second year to realize that the peculiar feelings in her system were not an overnight situation. Jade took matters into her own hands and recorded when her stomach fell into any eccentric sensation, noting what, when and how much she ate and any possible patterns. When food appeared to be free of guilt, she tried looking at her sleep patterns and clothing for clues but was met with the same result. Her concern had caught Ren's attention when the medic pupil found her seated on a hospital bed speaking to Recovery Girl.

"Hon, I've ran multiple scans and checkups and found nothing," sighed the elder. "Your health is in great shape and according to your own data, it seems like you're doing just fine. Maybe try laying down, it seems this issue with your tummy is stressing you out." Jade complied wordlessly, but Ren could see that she was still in heavy thought. When Recovery Girl exited the office, she took a seat beside the bed and peered up. "Thinkin' real hard over there, aren't you?"

Jade turned on her side with a groan. "I just wanna figure out what the hell is wrong with me, it's starting to piss me off."

"What've you been doing?"

"School, hero training, eating, sleeping, the usual."

"Any foods you can think of that caused that pain?"

"No, but that's the weird part!" The foreign student sat up and pulled a leg to her chest. "This feeling I keep getting, it doesn't hurt. It just--it doesn't...I never had this before, but I'm not sure if that means I'm doing something wrong that's causing my body to react the way it does."

Ren arched her brows in search of an answer. "Can you maybe describe this 'feeling' by comparing it to something? Or perhaps using a metaphor? Just so I can understand this better."

"It...well, there's usually two kinds of reactions. At one point, my abdomen feels light but constricted, like it can't take anything in because everything is squeezed out. When that happens, I also feel my heart rate pick up, and my body feels overheated." The medic nodded and gestured to continue. "The second feeling is more like a stinging one, or like a burn--yeah, burning would be a more accurate comparison. When my stomach gets like that, I get really annoyed, but there's only so much I can do when the problem is internal. I tend to get more of the first reaction than I do the second, if that helps."

It was an interesting explanation given, and Ren understood why Recovery Girl struggled a bit providing help. She was quiet for a long time, but just as her friend was about to speak, she asked another question: "Does this ever happen around a specific time? Specific person? Maybe a certain group of people or things?"

Jade blinked before lying down again, her attention focused on the ceiling. Is there somebody or something always near me when this happens? She reeled through all the faces and names she'd ever interacted with, staff members, students, strangers, but no exact nouns came to mind that she could recall triggering this reaction. The foreign student shook her head.

"Huh, well...what's the earliest you recall first feeling these sensations?"

"I think the earliest I felt it was when I was talking to Togata and--" Almost immediately the rest of Jade's sentence died on her tongue. Ren quickly caught the abrupt end and tried to make understanding of what had just happened. The memory was clear as day in her mind, meeting Hado and Amajiki, Togata walking up to her with immaculate bulging muscles, the crowd of female students hauling him away and the indefinable feelings in her abdomen, it all began to click. However, looking over the details of that time, Jade realized that the sensations ultimately activated when she was around--

"Togata."

She whipped her head in surprise.

"Togata is the cause behind your odd abdominal feelings," Ren smiled, "which tells me this is definitely not a medical issue." She bit back a laugh at the disbelief on Jade's face. It seemed she understood what was being implied as she began shaking her head feverently.

"No no no and no, you better not say what I think you're about to say, Ishikawa."

"Aw, c'mon now Jade, you can't be upset at me! I was just trying to help you understand the cause of your stomach issues, looks like it was just butterflies the whole time."

The foreign student grimaced. "Ren, please don't."

"But it's actually cute! I personally think that you both--"

"REN I GET IT, STOP."

Jade sat in irritation until her friend ceased laughing, then hopped off the bed and brushed off her uniform. The medic pupil stood up immediately and pulled her into a hug, chuckling lightly. "Well, now that we found the root of the issue, what are you gonna do? Am I helping you plan a confession?"

"I'm gonna get rid of it.” Ren's snickering stopped. Jade's face and tone was enough to say she wasn't kidding.

"Heh, I uh...I don't think I heard you correctly?"

"Get rid of it. I'll just distance myself from Togata so that my mind can adjust it's thoughts towards him." She hurried after her friend down the hallway. Students buzzed around them, lively chatter and activity surrounding the pair.

"Wait a minute Jade, I'm not understanding how this is being helpful."

"Ren, the more time I am not near him or able to visibly see him, I'm more than a hundred percent sure that whatever these annoying feelings are will dissipate. When that happens, I can go back to being in the guy's presence without any weird aura surrounding me, but until then, I'm following a strict 'No Togata' routine."

The medic student scoffed in amusement. "Routine? Jade, that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard a UA student say. I say just let it happen and see where it goes from there. Who knows, maybe he possibly could return--"

"Ah--" Jade stopped and held a hand up. "I'm gonna stop you there for two reasons. One, the sole reason anyone should attend this school is to pursue some kind of a career, and this applies especially to me. I was sent here as a representative because UA Los Angeles trusts me to execute and display my skills as a potential Pro Hero, not to go messin' around with Japan's kids, let alone the top students. I have an entire city depending on me, Ren, I can't mess this up." She sighed and took in another breath. "Two, if anything, I am far from his type."

"His type? How can you even know that if you only ever said hi to the guy like, three times?"

"Context clues. If it isn't directly in front of you, look at everything around to find your answer."

Ren deadpanned. "And what exactly did you look at to find your answer?"

"Upbeat, lively girls," Jade replied as if it should've been an obvious answer. The pair entered the cafeteria which was more cramped than usual. Staff members were present, most likely by Nezu's word to have travelling students feel more welcomed. All Might stood among the teachers with a countless number of admirers already circled around him, all different years, sizes and appearances. A certain green haired boy appeared to be of his utmost interest as he practically shouted in the student's face. Ren chuckled at the sight, but she noticed her friend's attention was focused elsewhere.

Her gaze was closed in on a table swallowed by a swarm of students. Some were people from earlier that were practically throwing themselves at Togata, and it seemed no different as he sat at the center of the table enjoying his lunch. Hado was seated across from him, her expression as bright as ever, and beside them was a shaking Amajiki, his head rested against the structure’s surface. His nervous movements ceased, however, and Ren smiled seeing the cyan haired girl had slipped her hand into his, returning to her conversation with ease. Jade also noticed the subtle gesture, but she wouldn't help feeling a pang of annoyance at the audience surrounding the blonde boy. She didn't realize she was watching so intensely until his eyes crossed the room to meet hers. Crap! Immediately Jade looked away, unsure if she was more embarrassed about getting caught or feeling irked over a guy. You're here to represent your school, show your worth of an upcoming Pro Hero. Stop getting distracted! Distance! "Ren, let's get some lunch. I'm sure Tokoyami and the others are awaiting your presence."

"Our presence." Jade smiled as they strode across the cafeteria. The medic always made sure she felt included no matter what the situation was; it eased her thoughts greatly, which was something she needed.

Another month passed and Jade had almost become like a second Maeda, so intently focused during school hours and hero training. Even on off days, the international student went about her own activities, only ever seen for meals or rest. Her bond remained close with Ren, Maeda and Kubo in various ways, however, and she was present whenever a hangout commenced, so it seemed like everything was completely fine. Ren's teasing had become more discreet (much to Jade's relief) and she created a codename for the blonde third year.

"'The lemonade'?" Jade cringed. The two met up for a walk through town one day, and it seemed safe enough to discuss the matter since they weren't near school grounds.

"I think it's pretty subtle, and keeping the word 'the' in the codename would have people assuming we're actually talking about a beverage. Plus," the medic eyed her friend, "the guy is a tall glass of lemonade if I do say so myself, heh."

"Ren don't--"

"Lemonade sounds good right about now." She froze. It took everything in the foreign girl to not begin speed walking as soon as she heard the familiar upbeat voice behind her. From the look on her friend's face, Jade's assumption of Togata's presence was true. Unfortunately true. She slowly turned around, a faux smile in place until her eyes fell upon something hiding behind the male.

It was a little girl, she could tell that much, with long snowy locks spilling from behind Togata's calf. The child peeked up from her spot, red irises meeting Jade's indigo ones. The foreign girl was locked in place as she suddenly recalled her family. She thought of her parents' cooking and singing, her brothers' livelihood for sports, but she was especially reminded of her sister. Youngest and the only other girl in the line of siblings, they did a lot together. From shopping together to painting to singing to sightseeing, Jade realized how much she'd missed them. The exchange of words between Ren and Togata were a muffed noise as she crouched down, entrapped by the little stranger.

"I'm Jade, it's nice to meet you." The words slipped out like butter, and thankfully it didn't seem to frighten or discomfort the child. She looked up to the male for approval, then stepped forward and let his hand go.

"My name is Eri, it's nice to meet you too," she squeaked with a bow. Jade was awestruck by her politeness and shifted onto her knees to bow in return. When they both straightened up, Eri bore a wide smile and returned to Togata's side.

"Gosh, Gemstone, thought you were ignoring me for a sec." Reality hit the foreign girl immediately when she met the blonde's gaze, and her stomach felt tight again. Damn it, not now! Calm down, breathe, breathe, don't overreact. She stumbled getting back on her feet and managed a sheepish expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized more aggressively than she meant to. "I was just so surprised seeing you with a kid, and she just--"

"Oh? Do you think I'm not good with kids?" He raised a brow.

Crap, why does he have to look cute doing that. "I never said that," Jade rolled her eyes. "I was just surprised seeing you outside of your whole entourage, that's all." She cursed at her choice of words. Now I just sound like I'm hating on him.

"My entourage? Sounds like someone's a bit jealous."

"Ha! Boy, ain't nothin' to be jealous of." The second year held her ground as the bulky male challenged her with a smirk. Ren cleared her throat, acknowledging her presence and causing Jade to force herself back. She didn't realize how close she'd gotten to him during their small banter, but it was definitely closer than what she was comfortable with. "Ren, uh, I believe you were talking about something, yes?"

The medic peered over in amusement. "Yeah, I was talking about lemonade, which since you're here Togata with little Eri, I believe we can all get some together." Damn you, Ren!

Eri gasped before tugging on the male's sleeve. "Can we please, Mirio?" The sight made Jade's heart swell, and she couldn't be upset if it was an adorable child asking to accompany them. He beamed down at her and nodded his head.

"Ladies, you may lead the way." During the walk to a mini cafe Ren knew of (thanks to Tokoyami), Jade observed how attentive and caring Togata was with Eri, playing games or cracking jokes that made her laugh. Citizens passing commented on their closeness in adoration, many praising the third year for looking after the child with such passion. Even when there were those who tried to flirt with him, the boy paid them no mind and brushed off their efforts. Jade didn't know him too well, but she knew it would be difficult to want to be away from the guy, especially after seeing this side of him, away from the crowds, away from the hero limelight. Togata truly was someone to admire. A familiar tightness returned to her torso, but for now, she was okay with it.

She was pleased being able spend time with Eri herself, learning more about her likes and hobbies. A lot of what the young girl enjoyed Jade discovered was also liked by her sister. "What's her name?" the child asked, munching on a pastry. The horn atop her head glimmered in the sun while she finished up coloring a drawing.

"Her name is Carolei," the international student smiled, "but my family and I just call her Lei."

Eri dropped her coloring utensil on the table and leaned forward. "Can I call her Lei, too?" Jade looked around as though someone was listening to their conversation, then nodded with a wink, much to the child’s delight. They giggled and chatted, forgetting about time and enjoying getting to know one another. The second year felt as though she wasn't in Japan, but back in America with the people she'd cared about and loved; it felt good to bathe in the comfort and reminisce of home. Someone had gripped the back of Jade’s chair; she turned assuming it was Ren until she was face to face with a broad chest and the strong aroma of musk. Her heartbeat boomed in her head and she slowly turned back to Eri, allowing her nerves to calm. Ren bit back a laugh, but a tug on Jade’s hand distracted her from making a slick comment.

"Jade," said Eri in a small voice, "I have to leave now, but...do you think we can hang out another time?"

A sudden idea popped into the second year's mind at the young girl’s request. With a kind smile, she squeezed Eri's hand reassuringly. "We'll have plenty more days to hang out, hon, just me and you."

"Ouch, and what about me, Gemstone?" Togata whined, a hand on his chest in offense.

"Ah, I'd rather not be attacked by your fangirls. Besides, you have Amajiki and Hado to hang out with, and I know you see Eri almost every day." Both parties waved goodbye before continuing on their own paths. Ren and Jade were in a comfortable silence until the medic let out a sigh.

"You literally just missed your opportunity."

"Girl, what? If anything, I'd say I just opened the door for an opportunity."

"Opportunity for what? You literally shut the guy down."

"With good reason," the foreign student argued. She wasn't rude in her response to the older boy, and it was honest! The last thing Jade needed was rumors tainting her name simply for the fact that she hung out with one of the big three alone, especially if they were of the opposite sex. "Anyways, back to the opportunity I was talking about. I think Eri can help me out with this."

Happy New Years everyone! Thought I would just drop by with this little piece since I have been lagging quite a bit lol, anywho, just a little bit of love for our favorite blonde boy since I don’t see too much on him. Be safe everyone! Like, comment & share!

OC Creds to: @gureii (Ren, Maeda, Kubo

#anime oc #bnha oc #mha oc #jade lofota #mha dome #oc #my hero academia #mha #bnha #mirio togata #lemillion #mirio x oc #togata x oc #original female character #fluff #lots of fluff

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tea-and-toblerones · 7 years ago

Text

Loose Change Chapter Two- I'd Love To Pop Some Tags But I've Only Got A Fiver In My Pocket

After much anticipation, chapter two is now complete! As always feedback is appreciated! I thrive off it. So, with out further ado...

I sat at my designated table, furiously scribbling notes as a way to past the time until I closed up shop. My books spread out across the surface, highlighters of every color littered between my books and notebooks. I chewed on the top of the pen as I read, something I did when I was super focused, unaware of it until the cram sessions was over. I put my pen down, rubbing my eyes as the words on the page began to blur. There was a couple patrons scattered amongst the shop, most in the same situation I was. I didn't notice how late it had gotten until they apologised for staying over closing hours as they paid for their drinks. I waved them off, bidding them a good rest of their night. I flip the open light off, before making myself a fresh cup of coffee before plopping back down at my table. I took a sip of my coffee before picking up my pen and I trudged along, deciding to finish the chapter before heading home. I heard the door creak open timidly, my eyes dragging away from the page to see Ed's face peering in.

"Er...can I come in?" His face the definition of uncertainty as he lingered, half in half out. "I know the sign says closed but...I thought I'd stop in and see how you were doing."

"Hey stranger!" My bright tone echoing through the quiet shop, "Sure, you can come in. Just do me a favor and lock the door behind you." My eyes dropping back to the page picking up where I left off, "You know you can come in while we're open right? You don't have to wait until we're closed or people leave."

I heard the door open and close again, the soft clunk of metal on wood told me he had brought his guitar case in. My eyes leaving the page again to see him stripping off his hoodie, one of the tshirts I had gave him was underneath. He scooped up his bag and case as he made his way across the room, grimacing every time his case brushed against a chair, a muttered sorry after every one. As silly as it sounded I couldn't tell if they were towards me or the chairs.

"I can't really buy anything, isn't that just loitering at that point?" Setting his stuff down beside my table.

"All you'd have to do is order water." I tell him, shuffling through the notes I made during the lecture, "Either way I wouldn't kick you out. Loads of people come in here just to study." Switching my pen out for the highlighter, dragging it across a couple choice phrases.

"Oh...I didn't realise you were busy..." His tone caused me to look up, soft and almost regretful, "I could go so you can finish studying." His hand resting on the back of the chair, caught between pulling it out.

"No, stay." I brought my foot up, giving the chair a slight push outwards, "I haven't talked to you for a while. I want to catch up. I'll be done real soon."

He slowly sat down, taking extra care to keep his hand off the table, resting them in his lap. I wonder if he was a fidgeter? Or was he worried he's mess up my clearly organized stack? Either way, his hands remained off the table, moving from his knees to under his armpits as he crossed his arms. We hadn't physically sat down and had a full conversation in a couple weeks. Our main form of communication had been notes passed between one another when I stopped by to drop off some form of food and a a buck or two. At least enough to cover his bus fare. Most of the time his notes consisted of just some sort of ridiculous commentary on the meal and what sort of interesting stuff happened during the day. For example yesterday's drop off was two pb and jelly sandwiches. The note I had today, scribbled on a piece of a brown paper sack ' I butter thank for the sandwich, they really got me out of a jam' then went on to talk about how Americans were an odd bunch, holding conversations with complete strangers.

At first I left notes asking if he needed specific things, mostly in the apparel department since we were still in the middle of quite a cold snap. He conveniently ignored that part of the note, just thanked me for the meals and proceeded to tell me about how he shared his fries with an angry looking pigeon that he was pretty sure would actually fight him over them and he wasn't sure he'd win. 'Best to stay on their good side. I don't need to piss off the birds. There's too many to fight, innit? Think you could put a good word in for me?' If I hadn't gotten a slight glimpse at his off the wall oddball humor, I'd think he was raving. I came to the conclusion he would never out right ask for certain things, it would be up to me to just guess what he would need.

He craned his neck, skimming over the upside down text, "This system you got here is really something." I could hear the wonder in his voice, I didn't need to look up to know his expression matched, "Don't most people type everything digitally now? This seems complicated and kinda unnecessary."

"Mhmm? Oh, no, it helps the info stick in my brain better than typing it all out. Call me old fashioned I guess but nothing beats the feeling of a pen gliding over the paper, your hand creating the words. Plus the feel of paper under your fingertips. Sorry, having it on a computer just doesn't work for me."

There was a smile that crossed his face. "I completely agree with you. Nothing will replace handwriting everything. Things just seem to flow easier when you use a pen. Which is why I write everything instead of type." He paused, his smile turning sheepish, "Well that and the fact I can't really afford a computer. Which is a good thing, really. Means I'm not likely to get targeted for a mugging."

I feel my eyebrows draw together as I tear my eyes away from the page. He seemed completely relaxed, his head bobbing around to some beat trapped in his head as he looked around the room. When his eyes settled on me he seemed slightly surprised at my gaze.

"Ed, be straight with me. Have you been mugged?" My concern ringing true as I stared him down. There's almost no way he's be able to handle himself in a fight. He just seemed so fragile.

"Look at me Cassidy. Does it look like I'm that well off? Do I look like I'd have anything of value?" His arms spreading wide to emphasize his point. " No. I look fairly second hand. Not worth a second glance."

He had a point. He did look pretty down on his luck. Everything he had was noticeably second hand and heavily worn. He was right, he didn't look like someone that would have anything of value. Nothing worth fighting over. Even his pack had seen better days. It was this frayed army green canvas pack, the leather straps that held it closed shown obvious wear, the holes were stretched out from the use. The whole thing looked like it was one good tug away from coming apart. The guitar case however was still in pretty good condition, apart from a couple scratches and scuff marks. It appeared that he took better care of it than he did himself.

"Well, you've got that fancy guitar. That's worth something to a strung out junkie looking for something to sell for his next fix." I point out, causing his mouth to come down in a frown.

"That is true." He pondered, his hand rubbing his chin, "But Cyril is pretty battered. You're not gonna get much out of him. He's about as broken down as I am." His fingers opening the clasps with fluidity that comes from the repetitive act. He pulled it free from its felt nest, giving it an almost loving strum, "I'm afraid he's only priceless to me."

I hadn't noticed as he played, my gaze was usually drawing to his fingers or just him in general has he bounced around. I never focused on the guitar itself. The finish had began to chip away, from the use. There were scratches covering the face of it and the back of it was a disaster zone of criss crossed scratches, most likely caused from the zipper of his jacket grinding into it. The tuning keys had lost their luster, dulled by the constant turning. He was right, It had seen better days.

"Still...just be careful okay? Some will scope you out for days, waiting for a really good haul then make their move." I could hear my tone slipping into lecture mode, the same I used with the kids I worked with.

"Aw, geez, you make it seem like I walk around with my head in the clouds." I could see that mischievous glint in his eye as he leaned forward, "You forget, I've been doing this for years now. I've gots some streets smarts by now."

I closed my book, deciding then and there nothing else was going to get done. "Don't take this the wrong way Ed but...you sorta come off as naive..."

"Yeah? So? What's wrong with that? Coming off as naive and being naive are two different things you know." I had expected him to be angry or at least annoyed, yet he seemed like he was enjoying himself, that smile still on his face, "There's nothing wrong with seeing the good in people."

"Yeah, but, aren't you worried that someone's going to come along and take advantage of your good nature?"

"If they do, it'll be a lesson learnt won't it? Even if it was the hard way, I'd've learnt something." That easy smile still across his face. It seemed nothing I threw at him was phasing him. Suddenly he straightened up from his relaxed pose, "I almost forgot, I came in for a reason!" His words tumbling out in an excited rush.

"Oh, so it wasn't just to talk philosophical views?" I tease as I cram books into my bag, "What's up?"

"I've got a gig." He was positively beaming now

"And you lead with questions about my study techniques?!" I squealed, as I knocked my bag to the floor, "That's great! When?! Where?!"

"An open mic night at...shit what was the name again..." He began rummaging through his bag, pulling out a wrinkled flyer, "The City?"

He passed the flyer over to me with a shrug. My eyes skimmed over it, nodding as I read it. I passed it back to him, watching as he crammed it back into his pack. "I've heard of a lot about City. Never been, but it pretty popular on campus."

"You know what type of vibe it has? So I know what I'm getting into?" I could see a bit of worry starting to settle behind those eyes.

"How 'bout this. We'll go drop in and get a feel of the crowd. That way when the night comes, you won't be worried about what songs you should choose."

"Okay...yeah...that's not a bad idea." He perked up at this, his smile quickly returning, "Okay, yeah. We'll think of it as recon." His transparent eyebrows wiggling. "God, you make it seem so sinister." I couldn't help but laugh as his lopsided grin as he waved me off, "All we're doing is checking it out. It's not like we're doing anything bad."

"The music industry is tough." His voice had lost all of the playfulness it had, replaced with a more sober tone, "Honestly, a tiny little thing like reading a crowd wrong could make or break me. This could be what gets my name out there and it could either be, 'Oh yeah, that Ed Sheeran, he's a real wanker playing that coffee house music at night club or Hey, That Ed kid, he's pretty good. Got a couple songs that really grab ya."

I could tell he was getting up in his head, planting seeds of doubt already. He had found one of my pens, twirling it between his fingers as he thought. I knew had to feel like he was balancing on the edge of a sword, one mistake would be all it would take to send him tumbling down. I needed to get him out of that mindset and fast. Nothing good would come from it.

"Hey, we've got a week. One week to get you prepared." My attempt at cheering him up seemed to fall a bit flat, earning me a half nod, "Look, we'll meet here tomorrow and go check it out."

"I would feel better about it if I knew what I was getting into." He may not have been smiling but he seemed in better spirits. "Tomorrow it is."

He had hung around a bit longer, turning down my offer to come back to my place for a shower and proper dinner. I did however, convince him to take a couple sandwiches, which he thanked me for and added that I really did spoil him. If this was spoiled I shudder to think of how bad off he was before I stepped in. He gave me an awkward sort of wave before turning away, adjusting his pack and heading in the opposite direction. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the busses had stopped running and he most likely walked all the way back to wherever it was he was sleeping. It couldn't have been too far since he was always at his spot by 7:45. All I could hope was that wherever he was staying was at least sheltered and he wasn't too terribly hungry. *********************************************** After a long and frustrating day I gladly flicked the open sign off, turning back towards Ed, who had settled in the corner, scribbling furiously in a small brown leather bound notebook. I remember spotting it when he was pulling his clothes out, it tumbled out, flopping out on my floor open for the world to read. He didn't snatch it up quickly, which lead me to believe that it didn't hold anything particularly personal. Once I asked him if he was ready, it snapped closed and returned to the depths of his belongings. We stopped by the apartment to drop of his guitar and bag, deciding that it would just be too much of a hassle to carry around. There was a definite reluctance, even when I assured him that if Lucca did swing by, she wouldn't touch it. I couldn't say I blamed him for his wariness. That was literally everything he owned. I would probably be just as worried as he seemed to be, leaving it a fairly unfamiliar place. He seemed satisfied with them tucked away in my closet.

If it wasn't for the group of people that had gathered outside planning that night's bar crawl, I would have thought we were at the wrong place. The outside of the building gave off an abandoned factory vibe. Really, this is the place that people keep raving about? Ed must have sensed my hesitation since he grabbed onto my sleeve, pulling me toward him and away from the door.

"I know this is the address he gave me but...are you positive this is the right place?" He sounded a bit worried, that little crease forming on his forehead.

I glanced at the building, completely understanding his doubt. It definitely didn't give off the new hip bar on the scene vibe, more of a hey this is where cows come to be turned into burgers and steak. I know you should never judge a book by its cover but come on, they could have spruced up the place a bit. I caught my bottom lip between my teeth.

"Yeah, this is the address that both you gave and google gave me..." I turned my eyes away from the building and back to him, his expression mirroring my own, "Okay, what exactly did he tell you?"

"That Thursday was like a trial run and if he likes me, most likely if the crowd likes me, he'll pay me to come in regularly a perform." He let a breath out through his nose, "Sorry I can't be more help, I couldn't wait around any longer to see if he replied again with anything extra..."

"Hold up, wait around any longer?" I could feel my face scrunch up in confusion, "Why didn't you just call him?"

"I don't really have that kinda change lying about y'know..." His eyes dropping to the ground as he shuffled a bit. Then it clicked.

"You don't have a phone do you?"

"Nope."

Of course he doesn't have a phone. How would he pay for it. I felt like an idiot, I was so used to phones being almost a necessity nowadays that it didn't even cross my mind that some people don't have them. Still, one thing about that bothered me.

"How do you talk to your family then?"

"Oh, emails. I use email for practically everything. The library lets you use their computers as long as you have a card. Which was a handy thing I learnt at the shelter." He cleared his throat, ready to change the subject off of him, "Alright, well, you ready to see if we we're being pranked or not?"

"Lead the way."

We weaved our wave through the crowd, finally spotting the sign above the door that read The City. He pushed the door open and I followed him inside, almost running into when he stopped suddenly in his tracks. With good reason. It was quick to see why it was called The City, the walls were comprised of graffiti covered brick, bright and in your face. There was actual stop lights hanging from the ceiling, the floor made to look like a road. The furniture was chic and the bar was lit with bright rope lights of reds and blues. There was so much going on, it was chaotic, it was alive, it was insane. There was only one problem.

"Cassidy...there is no way I'll be able to perform in these clothes...I want to stick out but not in this way..." People weren't exactly dressed to the nines but they were definitely not a hoodie and frayed jeans type. He turned to me, a worried look back on his face, "What are we going to do?"

"Well, first, we're gonna go find ourselves a table. Oh, they have food..." My eyes zeroing in on a girl chowing down on a huge slice of pizza, "Alright we're gonna get a table and we're gonna get us some food and we'll go on from there."

To be honest, I really didn't have much of a plan. I figured once we got here, it would all fall into place but all I was feeling right now was uncomfortable, like I didn't exactly belong here. They had the hustle and bustle down. I couldn't help but wonder if it was because it was new or because they had something special that others didn't. I spotted a table close to the stage, which was quite a bit bigger than I had initially anticipated. It must have been bigger than Ed thought to since I heard him whistle.

"That's a stage, I wasn't expecting ...jesus..." he said, full of awe. His eyes held a wistful look. "A proper stage...wow..."

After a good bit of people watching and some surprisingly fantastic food we had finally settled on a game plan. There was a bit of doubt, no, a lot of doubt on his end, especially the longer we stayed. When he discovered that they had had some pretty well known bands grace the stage all his confidence had went out the window.

"How am I supposed to compete with acts like that? Christ, I'm fucked before I've even had a chance." He moaned, stabbing a couple fries in the mountain of ketchup dismalily

"Are you kidding? Ed, you've hit gold here." I glance around to make sure nobody was within ear shot, just to be safe I leaned in, "You've got a bunch of pretentious people who thrive on up and coming musicians. They're going to eat you up."

"Yeah and probably spit me out. Come on Cassidy, I'm not ready for something like this."

"Stop with the negatives and what could go wrong and focus on what could go right. You're worried about your clothes? We'll get you new clothes. That's no issue."

"How? I've got-" He dug in his pockets, before realising they were empty. His eyes screwed shut as he thought, "A fiver and whatever change is in my rucksack."

"Well then, it's time to introduce you one of my favorite places. Thrift shops. They're insanely cheap and you can store them in my closet." I could see the hesitation in his eyes and I already knew that he view that more as a luxury. Perhaps he was right. "Look, I can get them for you. I'm positive I can get you a good looking outfit for under 15 bucks."

"I couldn't, that's too much, you've already done too much."

"If you're that worried about it, pay me back when you're rich and famous."

We wrapped things up and headed out once it hit one in the morning. I was shocked I had actually stayed up that late and Ed looked like he could go on for hours more. I wondered if he was used to getting little sleep, always sleeping on the edge, prepared for the worst. After a lot of persistence, I had finally persuaded him to stay on my couch again, planning to hit the thrift shops in the morning. I had half expected him to complain about not performing but he surprised me with his ready acceptance. It wasn't until I was in half asleep did I think that his quick agreement could have been a farce and that, like last time, he'd sneak out before I woke up. Yet, when I woke up, there he was, curled in a tight ball, the blanket pulled tight across his body, his mouth slightly open as a light snore filled the silence. ********************************************* "Oh mah GAWD, look at this!"

I heard Ed's voice calling out from a couple racks down, his head popping up, grinning from ear to ear. He was holding up the most atrocious looking bright blue paisley plaid button up that would surely haunt my dreams for weeks to come. I could only stare at him in silence, my mouth trying to form the words why and what, most likely leaving me looking like a gaping fish. He chuckled as he placed it back on the rack, satisfied with my reaction. For a split second I wasn't sure if he was seriously contemplating it or not. We had been browsing for about an hour now and in that hour I had gathered that this boy had absolutely no fashion sense at all. I decided to take up the role of personal shopper, which he said made him feel like a toff and a bit of a wanker. He had made it his mission to find every ridiculous article of clothing he could get his hands on and proudly show them off. The bigger the reaction, the bigger the smile was.

"Hey, Cass, do you mind if I call you Cass?" I shrugged, "Wicked. Look at these trainers. They're nicer than what I've got and they're cheap."

He was clutching a new looking pair of shoes, orange with three white stripes. I glanced down as his ragged, brown but not originally brown shoes. The soles had started to peel away from the material and I could remember seeing every pair of his socks having brown stains where water had leaked in. I nod my head to the cart.

"Alright, put em in. You can't keep walking around with those dead fishing smelling things you call shoes. I'm shocked your feet haven't fell off your body, to be honest with you."

His lip pulled pout in a pout as he placed them in the cart. "That's mean, my feet don't smell that bad." "I said your shoes smelled bad." I clarified as I held out a plain black sweater to his chest, eyeballing the fit before throwing it in the cart.

"I'll get hot in that on stage. Those lights put out a lot of heat."

"Who said it was for just stage? It's cold. A sweater or two wouldn't kill you. Neither would a coat."

He stopped in the middle of the racks and I didn't notice until I had turned around to ask him his opinion on a shirt. He just stared down at the floor, the most pathetic look across his face. Even his hair seemed to lose a bit of its spunk, wilting a bit.

"This was just supposed to be for performances. One or two outfits so I wouldn't look like a tramp on stage...You've got almost a cartful...Cass...I can't take-"

"Yes, yes you can." I said simply, cutting off the rest of his sentence, "Stop thinking you don't deserve things because you live on the street." I threw a pair of jeans into the cart with a bit more force than I anticipated, "I'm sick of you thinking you're less than a person. I don't know who made you think that, but I'm sorry. You're a human being. You deserve to have things like coats and warm clothes. Those aren't luxuries Ed. They're things that most people take for granted. So stop thinking you don't deserve the basic necessities."

"Why me though? They're are plenty of people on the streets." He sounded less broken, but still dejected. I breath heavily out my nose. "Every person out there with their battered sign all tell the same story. It may be worded different, but its still the same story. Hungry, homeless, give me money. Some sob story to tug on the heart strings of others. It could be true and that money could go towards a hot meal. Or it could go straight into their veins or up their nose. You though...you don't ask for money. You stand out there, with your signs that say such positive things, playing your music, making that corner of the city a brighter place. You could sing about your troubles and really hit people with a well crafted sob story in the form of a song. But you don't."

He sat in silence for a moment, mulling over everything I said. "Thanks for that...I needed to hear it. Sorry for being a downer..."

He seemed to perk up a bit, finding this flannel looking hoodie, tossing it into the cart. After another half an hour we had made not one but two complete laps around the store. There was a few more ridiculous finds, we had decided to wrap it up and head home. As I was pulling out my card to pay and Ed placed the bags in the cart, I heard the lady behind us make a snide comment to her shopping partner about how he should feel like less of a man for a woman buying his clothes. I had seen them throwing looks our way as we browsed, muttering under their breath and I had had enough.

I slapped my card down on the counter, whirling around to see, yet again, a hurt looking Ed, his hand hovering over one of the bags. "Excuse me," I smiled the biggest, falsest smile I could muster, "but I think I found your nose in our business. So how this. Why don't you collect it and your bad attitude, shove it in your designer bag and move right on along." I spun on my heel, thanking the cashier for my card, bidding them a good day, snatching the bags out of the cart, brushing past the ladies, "May Karma bless you three fold."

I walked out, Ed almost having to jog to keep up with me as I made my way across the lot. "The nerve of them." I tug my trunk lid up and start throwing bags in, "Just who do they think they are? Seriously."

"Cass, it's okay, really." I could tell he was just trying to calm me down, although it was having the opposite effect.

"No, it's not okay. Nothing gives a person the right to say such ridiculous things for the sole purpose of hurting someone."

"But it is pathetic Cass.” He shrugged, seemly undefeated, “I should be able to pay for my own clothes. It is what it is. I'm grateful and I really don't care what a couple of strange old women, who we'll never see again, think. It shows their character, not ours." His eyebrow cocked upwards, "Though I will say, you handled that quite well."

"I have to deal with a lot of angry parents. And kids. It's a skill i've developed over the years of working at the summer camp." I slam my trunk closed, "Pushing that aside, we can get these back to my place, throw them in the wash, Yes, I'm washing them," I saw his mouth fly open, in protest, "After that, all you'll need to focus on is what you'll play."

"Oh, all I'll need to do. That's only the hardest part." A smirk creeping across his face, "We've got a little less than a week to prepare. Plenty of time to come up with some sort of set list." His hands rubbing together, "Now the real work begins."

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