#i've heard that some people are sweet and kind sober and turn nasty when drunk. i've never seen that firsthand but i'm sure it's entirely | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

turtlemagnum · 5 months ago

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when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.

#honestly a bit unsure if he was just simplifying it all down for us little idiot kids or not #regardless i think it's an important memory to keep alive #writing this up got me thinking about my time spent over at his place when i was real young. we spent a thanksgiving or two over there #both him and his wife were alcoholics at the time. she probably still is but she's been out of their lives for a while #i remember huddling in the corner with my cousin and my mom while they both fought. i distinctly remember her slapping him over the head #with a TV remote. not a very happy thanksgiving that one #it occurred to me while remembering this that there's definitely some kind of bitter irony to a white woman abusing a native man and his so #on thanksgiving. not even mentioning just a (mostly) native family having a bad thanksgiving in general. a bitter memory all around #god she was a cunt. talked shit about welfare queens and people on food stamps while me and my mom bought her food with our food stamps #claimed to be a vegetarian because how much she loved animals but still regularly ate bacon #i definitely don't remember my uncle being perfect in that relationship but i also definitely remember her being far worse #i'm almost certain it was mutual abuse but there's definitely a reason why my uncle's still in my cousin's life and mother isn't #aside from the fact that she did in fact abandon them and start a new family #as far as i know my uncle's recovered from his alcoholism and she hasn't. which itself wouldn't be a sin if she wasn't also naturally just #nasty piece of vaguely human looking garbage even without the alcohol #the way i understand it alcohol usually doesn't change who a person is at their core. it just amplifies who they already are #my grandpa's a very loving man and while i've never seen him get outright drunk i'm told he's very sweet and cuddly #saying this feels like a bit of a blanket statement but i definitely feel like for the most part if someone is an abusive piece of shit #while drunk they're also a lot more likely to be an abusive piece of shit sober #i've heard that some people are sweet and kind sober and turn nasty when drunk. i've never seen that firsthand but i'm sure it's entirely #possible. i can't speak whether it actually reveals who they really are or what. i'm not a psychologist #im rambling. oh well!#i'm glad that my cousin and uncle seem to be in a better place now. got their shit together #that's what matters

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