#i've had a pillow case that i got for free like two years ago the color of which clashed with my whole apartment

[fauxfroot]

did you guys know that if you have fabric things you don't like the color of, you can just dye it a different color?? this shit is amazing

[thelampisaflashlight]

I quit drinking almost a year ago now, so let's talk about it.

I'll start off by saying that my relationship with alcohol has always been a rocky one; It was first offered to me as a teenager by a relative of mine, and although I refused it on multiple occasions, I was always bullied into taking a sip or called names for not doing so.

I never wanted to drink, coming from a family with a history of addiction and growing up with an alcoholic parent, it wasn't something I ever wanted to do, and I was well aware of the risks involved with starting.

Drinking always lead to me feeling guilty or ashamed, but for a while, during the beginning of the pandemic, it was a way of coping, one I fully acknowledged as such, but never enough to make me completely stop.

In the weeks leading up to my decision to quit, a family member of mine was falling harder into their addiction to alcohol, and was making me drink more by proxy in order to justify the amount of it they were buying.

Unbeknownst to me, they were also hiding things like beer and cider in their room and their bathroom closet, because myself and another family member had begun counting the alcohol left on the porch when they continually appeared intoxicated despite only one or two drinks being missing from a case.

They would boldly lie to our faces and claim they hadn't been drinking or that they'd only had one or two drinks, but would be stumbling drunk...

The final straw for me, was coming home from work to a puddle of blood on the floor of my living room after they'd fallen down the stairs and decided to return to their bedroom on the second floor, where I found them with a head wound, bleeding into their pillow.

I can remember standing with them as they told the paramedics that they only had four drinks and thinking, "That's got to be fucking bullshit."

And it was.

Their blood alcohol was sky high and I have the paperwork to prove it.

After they were taken away by the ambulance, and I was left rinsing their blood off of my hands, the first thing I did was search.

When I tell you, in that moment, I hated their guts for what they'd done, for what they'd put me through, for arguing with me when I was trying to save their fucking life...

To this day, I am still angry about it, and why wouldn't I be?

It's only been about a year, but in the grand scheme of things?

I had to endure their addiction and the way they brought about my own for years.

I never bought alcohol for myself.

Despite being old enough and able to.

They always bought it for me, and growing up they always made it seem like it wasn't a big deal that they drank as much as they did, or that they turned another family member into their drinking buddy when they were only fourteen...

But I digress.

In the long run, alcohol has been a problem for me since even before I personally started drinking, and I'll admit that I, as someone who has dealt with a lot of loss and utter bullshit in my life, used it to self medicate on more than one occasion, because it made me feel less in touch with everything.

But it did not make me happier.

It didn't fix my trauma or give me less anxiety.

And it made me feel ashamed.

So what can I tell you, about how it feels to be almost a year sober?

It's honestly hard to say.

Because while I'd like to come here and say that I've felt amazing or that the experience has been freeing, truth is life has continued to be hard, and new challenges come and go, and, well, I've kept going.

There's that.

A year ago, if I had a bad day at work, I'd have a drink about it.

Now?

I talk to people.

I'm more open about how I'm feeling, physically and emotionally, and in that sense I have felt freer.

But I'm also seeing what addiction -not my own, but another loved one's- has done to my family, and I find myself wondering if I should separate myself from them again.

To burn the bridge I was determined to rebuild.

It's lead to a lot of complex emotions as you can imagine.

Ultimately, I think quitting was the right choice for me, and even if life is tough right now, I'm able to look at it objectively.

[lovinkiri]

If The Roles Were Reversed || One

UA!Dabi x Reader

UA!Shigaraki x Reader

UA!Toga x Reader

UA!Twice x Reader

UA!Compress x Reader

Author's Thoughts: Okay so I was just thinking, what if the LOV were seniors in UA, and emotionally stable enough to not be villains, and ekvekbd

Warning: Swearing, Scratching, etc.

EVERYONE IS 18+

Touya Todoroki (Dabi)

People couldn't help but stare at the two of you. You knew it was because of your boyfriend though, who was used to the stares by now.

"What happened to him?"

"They really let guys like that in the hero course? Look at the scarred face."

"The whole course looks like a group of villians, I'm not surprised."

You went to speak out. I mean, it wasn't his fault his quirk was self destructive. Though he was taking courses in Quirk Control, the scars he'd gotten before enrolling in UA stuck.

But before you could utter a word, Dabi sighed and wrapped an arm around you, giving the gossips a look that could scare a pro.

"Don't worry about it, babe. It's alright. I just wish they'd say it to my ugly scarred face." He spoke loudly and sarcastically, raising his voice even more towards the end.

You huff and glare at the already scared freshmen. "I just wish they'd take a look in the mirror themselves."

And now they were scared and offended.

You look back to Dabi and sigh. "You know you're sexy, right Touya?" You raise an eyebrow, Dabi snickering at how serious the question was asked.

"Can't look that bad if I've got such a cute little thing on my arm." He smirked, watching as you immediately got flustered.

"Y-Yeah, c'mon." You pull him to class, Dabi chuckling.

Upon entering the classroom, he immediately looked to Shigaraki. "Hey, Crusty."

Shigaraki glared at the Dabi. "Morning, Crispy."

With Shigaraki, you let it slide. You knew this was their way of being friendly to each other. Then Toga came bounding over, hugging you from behind.

"Hi, Touya! Morning, Y/n!" She grinned. Dabi scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "It's Dabi."

"You let Y/n call you Touya!"

"Are you Y/n?"

"No.."

"Okay then, Crazy."

"Crazy?!"

You laugh and smile. It was never boring, being with Dabi.

Tomura Shigaraki

"Tomura!"

He sighed and looked at you, drowning out the rest of the hero course. You walked over with your lunch and plopped down next to him, slapping his hand away from his neck. "You're scratching again. I know it's a bad habit but-"

Tomura rose an eyebrow, wondering what caused your silence. Then he followed your gaze to his hands.

Before he could speak, you broke out into a grin. "You got your new gloves! Now we can hold hands!"

Sighing once more, he shrugged. "I don't get why its such a big deal. You were more excited than I was."

He was lying. He was secretly just as excited. The thought of holding your hands, running his fingers through your hair, holding you without having to be careful of his fingers. He couldn't wait.

You kissed his cheek and laid your head against his shoulder. "Can we hold hands later?" You asked looking up at him with irresistible eyes.

"You don't have to ask, you know." He grumbled as he wrapped an arm around you. The rest of the hero course let out either genuine or sarcastic awww's.

"Its not fair. How did Shigaraki start dating before any of us?" Toga asked with a pout. Dabi snorted in laughter. "They like 'em crusty and flaky."

Tomura glared at him. "Better crusty than charred and burnt." He retaliated.

Dabi gave a lazy grin. "Oi, I'm not burnt. I'm crispy."

The entire table, not including Tomura, devolved into laughter. Tomura rolled his eyes, laying his cheek against the top of your head. "Idiots. They're all idiots."

You smiled. "Please. You love 'em."

"Tch. Whatever." He huffed.

Himiko Toga

You waited by the school gates patiently for Himiko. You knew she was probably getting some new upgrades to her hero costume, so you didn't mind.

"Y/n, Y/n!"

You turned and Himiko jumped into your arms. Thankfully, you were able to wrap your arms around her and steady yourself. This wasn't the first time so you had practice.

Grinning, she wrapped her arms around your neck. "Hey, your reflexes are getting better!" She pointed out.

You smiled and chuckled in at the remark. "Thank to you. You seem more excited than usual."

"Oh yeah! I got this awesome new upgrade." She said proudly. Pulling away from the embrace and instead holding your hand, she started to pull you along.

"Yeah? What is it?" You asked, tilting your head. Himiko proceeded to go into a detailed ramble about her upgrade, her free hand making exaggerated motions.

You couldn't help but admire how her eyes seemed got so much brighter. It was obvious she was excited to test it out.

Others who weren't used to seeing you guys around stared, but minded their business as you glared at them. You weren't gonna let anyone bring her down. Knowing people already whispered about how odd she seemed in the school hallways, you'd decided she didn't need to hear that outside of school too.

"And so it'll be easier to shift between forms!" She finished, looking at you, looking for your approval.

Kissing her cheek, you chuckled. "That sounds amazing. And it was your idea?" You grinned as she enthusiastically nodded. "Yeah! Of course, you inspired me! Remember last week when you said it'd been cool if I could switch between forms more freely?"

Your expression morphed into confusion. "Huh? That was a month ago."

She shrugged. "A week, a month, a year! It's all the same!"

Laughing softly, you nodded. "Sure, Himiko."

Jin Bubaigawara (Twice)

Jin smiled as you pulled his mask on, trying to nuzzle into your hands.

"Jin- I can't get it on when you do that." You chuckled, a smile tugging at your own lips. "I don't see why you couldn't put your own mask you."

"Because I like it when you're near me! Stop asking questions." He responded, pulling you closer by your lower back.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you quickly pecked his lips before fully getting the mask on. "You a sweetheart, you know that?"

He nodded. "I know!" Then quickly shook his head. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Right. Well, be careful at training today. I think they're gonna make you fight Dabi." You warned. You knew Jin was strong but Dabi was something else. Losing usually made him fight harder. And sometimes, he lost himself.

"Oh please, that's nothing. Nothing but a death wish! He's still pissed at me for spilling juice on him at lunch today!" Your boyfriend began pacing, holding his head dramatically.

His head whipped to you as you started laughing. "Why are you laughing? Last time we sparred, I had to sleep with an ice pack on my ass! For a week! And he was sleepy!" He pressed, mocking betrayal once your laughter continued.

"I-I'm sorry, Jin! I'm just remembering that pillow you had yo sit on in class. You know, as to know irritate the burns on your butt." You covered your mouth to stifle anymore sounds of amusement.

Jin whined at the memory, placing his hand on his ass. "It's not funny, babe!"

You grinned and cleared your throat, taking a breathe. "Alright, alright. But you were just distracted that day. And the voices are a lot easier to ignore when your mask comes off in combat now, aren't they?"

Walking over, you gently placed your hand on his cheek. He immediately leaned into your touch, almost cat like. "It's so much easier to focus now. But it can be kinda difficult with you lookin so damn good while watching me!"

Jin leaned down, attempting to kiss you from under his a mask. You laughed and tried pulling away, hands on his chest. "J-Jin!"

"Oi, are you done yet? It's our turn Jin!"

Gulping nervously, Jin lifted his mask a bit to give you an actual kiss. You returned it, humming softly then pulled away. He shrugged. "In case I die."

Then there was an burst of heat. "Get over here, Jin!"

Atsuhiro Sako (Mr. Compress)

Atsuhiro smirked at the villian before him, twirling his cane ever so casually. "Tsk, tsk. You've got a flashy quirk, but there's no flare."

What was supposed to be a training retreat turned into a surprise attack. These villians never knew when to give up.

He quickly dodged another attack and gave a mocking hum, as if he were thinking. "Oh I know!" He hit his fist against his palm. "You're missing the element of surprise! You're completely predictable!"

Laughing as the villian the got angry, he shrugged. "Unlike me!" He dodged once more before shooting out a marble that you'd been compressed in for a while.

Once free, you launched an attack to the villiain. "Surprise!" You grinned as you foot connected into the villian's back, the impact sending him tumbling into a tree.

Atsuhiro caught you in his arms and you spread yours out. "I see, you haven't met my lovely assistant, have you?" Sitting youdown, the two of you prepared for another attack.

"Delaware Smash!" The villain cried out, running to the both of you, dodging Atsuhiro's efforts at compressing him.

You managed to dodge, but Atsuhiro wasn't so lucky, taking blow after blow before colliding into a tree.

"Hiro!" You yelled out, running towards him. It was when you held a hand out that you halted. "Now, now, Dear, worry not. It is not who's in trouble."

The villain's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. That's when you noticed a marble rolling from compresses hand. It would seem the villain noticed to but it was too late.

Before anyone could react, Spinner was there dishing out attacks. Atsuhiro stood, leaning against the tree. Running over, you helped him to balance himself.

"You had Spinner this whole time?" You asked in surprise, eyes wide. He chuckled softly and gave a small bow. "As I said, the element of surprise is very important."

"Boss! The heroes are here!"

The villain glared at us, dodging Spinner and jumping from place to place. "This isn't over." He mumbled before bounding off.

Spinner went to go after him, but Atsuhiro had his cane in front of him in a second. "Let them be."

Spinner opened his mouth to protest but sighed and nodded.

You guys soon grouped up with the rest of the class, only to see Toga on the verge of tears.

"Himiko, what's wrong?" Spinner asked, you guys rushing over. Holding back a sob, she looked up.

"They kidnapped Shigaraki!"

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 12

Word Count: 2,510

POV: Reader

Warnings: Same as always, Language, Smut, NSFW, Please see the note in the Masterlist

Teams: Bruins, Caps, Flyers, Lightning, Pens, Jackets, Canes, Islanders (more to come)

Notes: I literally have no clue what happened the frist time, but let’s try this again. When last we left this story, (Y/N) had just had a steamy encouter with Joel. Now with Svech back at the suite hurt, let’s find out what happens.  As always feedback is greatly appreciated and wanted…hahaha! Luv ya all!! Happy Reading to all!

A quick run downstairs and a check-in with Carly told you that everything at the hotel was running smoothly. You gave her a recap of what had happened with Svech and told her that you were heading back upstairs to be with him at least until Joel and Dougie got back from practice. By the time you got back up to the suite, the boys were just heading out the door. "Ready to head up to bed?" You asked Svech and his eyebrow shot up. Obviously, you didn't mean it that way as the man was in no way able to perform. Or was he?

"Sure," he said eagerly then hobbled on his crutches to the elevator with you. It took a few minutes to get him into his shared bedroom with Joel, but once you did you propped his foot up on a stack of pillows, making sure to take extra care with it, so as to not cause him any more pain than necessary.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah," he mumbled and you could see the tiredness in his eyes.

"Do you need anything else?"

"I don't think so."

You dug through your bag and placed the bell you'd found in one of the offices on the nightstand. "Here, in case you need me, just ring this. I'll be downstairs doing some work, but will be up in a flash." He looked so young and innocent just lying there and you swept a bit of hair that had fallen onto his forehead away. "Get some rest."

You went to leave, but he grabbed your wrist, tugging you back in his direction, which caused you to stumble and land awkwardly on his chest; your face a mere inches away from his. He didn't say anything, just cupped your cheek with his free hand and brought your lips to his. It was soft, yet with the right kind of pressure, and he sought entrance to your mouth with a simple glide of his tongue to your lips. You opened for him, deepening the kiss. Svech was gorgeous there was no denying that, but at the same time you felt a little bad after doing what you'd done with Joel last night and now you were kissing his teammate. Though when he moaned into your mouth all thought of that left.

Gently you pushed back from the kiss. "Svech, what are you doing?"

"I want you, (Y/N). I have from the moment I saw you in this bubble a few weeks ago." You tried to think back about running into him at any point before the Canes had actually transferred to your hotel but couldn't recall a time that the two of you met. "Don't worry, I don't expect you to remember. I would come here to play tennis. Well, not really, it was just an excuse to see you. You're so beautiful." His hand caressed your body lightly as he spoke and it ignited a fire deep within you. "I know I'm younger than you, but it doesn't mean that I can't satisfy you."

"Svech it's not that..." For really it wasn't. You had no doubt that he was good in bed, it was just, well, his injury and all.

He must have caught on to your hesitation. "I'm fine I swear, though you'll have to be on top. I just think this is really the optimal time. The guys are gone and won't be around for a couple hours. Say you want me too."

There was a pleading look in his eyes, this sort of need to be wanted. Your body definitely couldn't deny that you craved him. It was just your head that wasn't in sync. You threw caution to the wind and decided to just give in to what your body wanted this time; not that you hadn't been doing that all along. "I want you too."

His hand went to the back of your neck and he drug you down to his lips again for a hard and searing kiss. "Undress for me, beautiful." He whispered out and you stepped back from the bed. Slowly, you unzipped your skirt, then shimmied it down your hips to fall on the floor. Your hands worked each button on your blouse revealing your soft supple skin to his gaze, and look he did. There was a hunger in his eyes as the top fell to the floor and you stood there in only a bra and thong. "Fuck you're gorgeous." He sat up and shucked his shirt over his head before propping himself up against the headboard a bit. "Don't stop now."

A small giggle escaped you at his eagerness. Your hands went to the clasp of your bra, releasing the globes for their confines. Holding the bra with one hand, you let the straps slide off your shoulders, then dropped the garment. You cupped your breasts, gently squeezing them and pulling on the nipples. Svech sucked in a breath of air and you saw him bite down gently on his bottom lip. Your eyes dropped to his crotch, where you could see his erection growing even through his shorts.

Hooking the elastic of your panties, you wiggled them over your hips and glided them down your legs. There was a visible wetness in the crotch that you knew Svech could see, letting him know how badly you wanted him. You sashed back over to the bed, then slid your hand down his chest and abs to the waistband of his shorts. "We're going to need to do something about these." He lifted his hips up, using his upper body strength and you slid them along with his boxers down. It was a bit tricky getting them over his boot, but you managed.

Once that task was accomplished, you went back up and kissed him. "You know you're a really good nurse." He laughed and you joined in, as you straddled his hips.

"Well, I try. Gotta keep my patients happy." His hands went to your hips, while you used his shoulders to steady yourself. "Let me know if I hurt you in any way."

"You're killing me now because I want to be inside you." You chuckled, then took his cock in your one hand and guided it to your entrance. You coated him a bit in your wetness before sinking down on him. "Fuck you feel amazing. So wet...and..." He didn't say anything more as you began to move up and down on his length. "Oh...yeah...fuck..." There was an endless stream of moans out of his mouth. When you swiveled your hips, he almost lost it. "Do that again."

"You're quite the demanding patient," you hissed out as you rode his cock.

"Can't help...it..." he panted. "I've wanted...this...oh fuck...for...mmm...yeah just like that....so long...faster baby." His hips started to rise up, thrusting into you, and you were concerned that he would be putting pressure on his bad foot. Your mind was so lost in making sure that he wasn't hurt, you'd knew that you'd never get off. "I'm so close...are you?"

You weren't but you didn't tell him that. Instead, you grabbed his hand on your hip and moved it to your clit. "I need you to..." you moaned out as he started to rub your little nub, grabbing onto the headboard now to steady you both. "Mmmm...yeah." His movements got faster pushing you to that familiar crest you wanted.

You could feel him tighten his grip with the hand that still held your hip and knew he was close. "Come on baby," he encouraged you and flicked your clit more. It was all you needed, as you screamed out in ecstasy as your orgasm came over you. "Fuck," Svech moaned as your pussy spasmed around him and he thrust deep in you, cumming hard. You were both breathing heavily as you came down off your high and it took a moment for you to collect yourself. As you made a move to roll off him, he held you tightly. "Don't go just yet."

"You've got to be uncomfortable like this." After all, you were practically lying on top of him.

"Quite the opposite, really. Besides, I don't know if we'll get another chance at this. I plan on savoring the moment." His fingertips skated up and down your spine. "You're really something, you know that?"

"I don't know about all that."

"I know I wouldn't have a shot, but if I was a few years older and maybe had a bit more experience in the league. I'd try and steal you away from everyone else here."

“You make me sound like I’m ancient or something. I’m only a few years older than you.”

His hands skimmed up and down your body, fingertips gliding along your ribcage and making you shiver. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just…I can’t even take you out to dinner in Raleigh and buy a bottle of wine.” Damn, you forgot the boy was under twenty-one. You really should’ve thought about things before you jumped into bed with him. Why did your libido have to run rampant around these men? “These guys here are probably showering you with expensive gifts and I just can’t compete with them, though I wish I could. I’d give you the world if I could.”

“Aww Andrei, the fact that you want to do something like that, is just so sweet.” You placed a gentle kiss on his lips. You needed to diffuse the situation before things got too out of hand or the next thing you know he’d be asking for your hand in marriage or something. “I think you’ve had a little too much prescription medication.” He went to protest but you stopped him placing a finger to his lips. “This was fun, but you should rest. Besides I’m sure the others will be back soon.” He nodded as if he finally understood that nothing more was going to happen between the two of you. It was then that you climbed off him and out of bed, picking up your scattered clothes before kissing him one last time. “Get some sleep. If you need anything just ring the bell.”

The tile floor on the hallway felt cold as you made your way down to your room so that you could change into something more comfortable. Hearing Andrei’s declaration really made you start to think. Maybe you should be looking for more than just a fling here and there. Tyler was begging you to let him come to Toronto if the Stars lost or have you fly there if they continued on; maybe it was time to seriously start to consider his offer.

The rest of the morning you buried yourself in paperwork until Dougie and Joel got back early afternoon. Then they took over nursing duties, or at the very minimum getting their teammate food when he wanted. You were still in a cropped hoodie and leggings when you headed downstairs to see how things were going. Thankfully, no one had set the hotel on fire, which was a major accomplishment considering all the rival teams you had under one roof.

“So how goes it with your three roommates?” Carly asked you wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“You don’t even want to know.”

“Of course, I do. I’m living vicariously through you now that Brayden and I are together. Spill the juicy details.”

“Juicy details about what?” You knew that voice, before turning to see that Mat Barzal was standing there, a sheer sheen of sweat lightly coating his forehead, telling you that he had been working out. His shirt clung to his body in all the right places. And those thighs. Ugh! It should be downright illegal to have thighs as muscular as his and shorts that tight.

“We were just talking about…” Carly started to say before you elbowed her.

“It’s just about someone that works here in the hotel. You probably wouldn’t know them, considering you’re staying at the Royal.” God, you sounded like a snob; a snob and a prick. “I mean it’s really just work gossip.”

“Oh well, hopefully, I’ll be moving in here soon. Then maybe you’ll let me in on your little secrets.” He gave you a little wink as if he knew you weren’t exactly talking about some indiscretion of a hotel staff member. Although technically you were. That member just happened to be you.

“I guess if you do get to move, I’ll have to reveal all the dirty laundry this place has going on,” you said flirtatiously, and suddenly you were throwing out that whole idea of settling down.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing what you’d got going on underneath everything.” Mat playfully bantered back, as his eyes roamed your body. His heated stare had your panties getting wet. You were really going to have to do your laundry after the day you had.

“Well, I can see I’m not needed here.” Carly chimed in as you’d completely forgotten about her being there. “I think I’ll go check on what Chef’s preparing for dinner.”

She sauntered off leaving you standing there alone with Mat. “Speaking of dinner. Would you like to get some, say maybe tomorrow night? We’re playing tonight or I’d say in a couple of hours.”

“I’d like that, but it’s not like we can go out to any restaurants.”

“True, though I do remember you mentioning something about a suite you’re staying in.”

Had you mentioned that? You couldn’t really be sure and it didn’t really matter at the moment considering you had roommates. “About that…You see there was kind of a little incident here. Let’s just say it involved a hockey stick and some busted pipes.” Mat looked like he was ready to bust out laughing but he took a deep breath regaining control. “So now I have three people staying there with me.”

“Oh well if it’s your friend there and a couple others I’m sure Tito and a couple guys wouldn’t mind coming along.”

“Yeah,” you said cringing as you told him this next part. “It’s not Carly. It’s three guys from the Canes. Dougie Hamilton, Joel Edmunston and Andrei Svechnikov.” Mat’s eyes widen and his jaw dropped a bit before drawing together to form a hard line on his jaw. He hadn’t seemed like the jealous type in your last encounter but then at the time, it didn’t seem like you were having a foursome every night in your suite. “It’s just temporary.” You were quick to add. “Their room should be fixed in a couple days.”

“I see.” It was a short response and you could tell that he wasn’t pleased. “I guess dinner is off.”

You didn’t want it to be. In fact, Mat was the first guy that you really were interested in more than just a fling with since Sidney. You just needed to come up with another place for dinner and maybe some sort of dessert that involved both of you being naked. That shouldn’t be too hard.

.

[rohad93]

Moonlit Masquerade: Full Circle

Part 12 of The Moonlit Masquerade Series

The first free day they both have together after Luz proposes, Amity all but drags Luz to the market so she can buy her fiancée her own ring. Luz groans as Amity pulls her out of bed at the crack of dawn.

Though it's less pulling and more slipping out of her grip in bed to get dressed and refusing to come back to bed when Luz moans for her to come back and snuggle with her.

"Vuelve a la cama, quiero acurrucarme," she moaned from face down on her pillow.

Amity rolled her eyes even as she kneeled over the bed to press a kiss to the back of Luz's head and rub a hand over her back, trying to rouse her quickly without having to toss her out of the bed as sometimes was the case.

"We can snuggle later, querida."

"Or, and consider this…. we could snuggle now…" Her head popped up from the pillow to look at her sleepily.

"We need to do this now," Amity said firmly even as she grinned at her. Luz groaned, head dropping back to the pillow.

"When you said we were gonna spend all day together, getting up at the crack of dawn to go to the market was not what I had in mind…," she mumbled.

Amity sighed, rolling her eyes fondly as she crawled fully back into the bed and wrapped her arms around Luz, lips pressed against her ear.

"We have all day, Luz. I'll take you to breakfast after and I promise, I'll make it worth your while later." The statement was punctuated by a kiss to her neck as Amity threaded her fingers through her hair. "...but we have to do this now."

Luz sighed into her pillow

"...fine," she mumbled. Amity smiled and pressed another brief kiss to her neck before rolling out of bed so Luz could push herself up only for Amity to toss a shirt and pants at her.

Luz grumbles as she flips back the blankets and starts getting dressed.

"Do we have to?" she asks with a sigh as she changes.

"You don't want a ring?" Amity asks, brows furrowed, and she's in the middle of pulling a shirt over her head, so Luz can't see her fiancée's face, but she knows the slight hurt tone when she hears it, she's intimately familiar with all Amity's tones of voice.

"Of course I want everyone to know I'm engaged to the most beautiful witch on the Boiling Isles, mi amor, but do we have to go to the market before dawn?" She finally pulls the tunic over her head and turns to Amity.

"Yes, the stand I want to go to gets there before the sun comes up and he sells out of his wares by breakfast. We need to go now," she says, turning and walking out of their room, Luz following, grabbing her staff off the hook on the wall as she does.

"Why don't you just buy one for me…?" she asks between a yawn.

"I want you to have the one you want." is the answer.

"Are you saying you don't like your ring?" Luz asks, and she's teasing, she knows Amity loves her ring, she'd taken every opportunity to show it to her siblings and their friends over the past week, but that doesn't stop her from spinning around on the stairs, eyes wide.

"What?! No! It's beautiful, Luz," she hurriedly assures.

"Hey, hey, I was teasing, I know you like it…"

"I love it," Amity corrects. "I just…," she sighs. "I just want to get you something you love just as much, and I haven't a clue where to even start… you don't wear jewelry except earrings…," she says and Luz shrugs.

"Never had much interest in it," she agrees with a shrug, stepping down to the step just above the one Amity is standing on so she can lean down over her. "I'd like anything you gave me, Amity." Luz reminds, cupping a cheek in her hand and leaned in to press a soft kiss against her mouth.

"I know you would…," Amity hums against her lips as she pulls back. "But, please Luz, let me do this?"

Luz couldn't say no to that pleading look even if she wanted to.

"I'm already out of bed and dressed so we might as well." She grins and Amity smiles at her.

The morning is warm and it promises to be a hot day, but they've set aside the whole day just to be together, and no matter the weather, that makes it perfect. Those days were much fewer in between since the rebellion. They were both busy often. They had played such pivotal roles in starting and ending the rebellion that people often looked to the two of them and their friends in the past year. There are always problems to solve and people to help adjust, but not today.

They have plenty of time to spare, so they walk, hand in hand to town. Glad to enjoy this unhurried moment together.

"Have you thought any about what you want to do for the wedding?" Luz asked her.

"I've… had some ideas…" Amity hedges, not willing to admit how much she's actually thought out in the one week since they got engaged whenever she had a few minutes between duties.

But Luz knows Amity. She's a planner, and if there was ever anything she'd be eager to plan, it's their wedding.

"You already have a whole notebook full of stuff don't you?" She grins knowingly and watches Amity's cheeks pink.

"It's not full… just like… half," she mumbled and Luz laughed. "They're just ideas! I wouldn't do any actual planning without you… though…," she trailed off. Luz squeezed her hand.

"We haven't really talked about a date yet, but… I have one in mind if it's alright with you."

"Shoot." Luz smiled at her.

"The 31st of October," Amity says.

"Halloween?" Luz can't help but grin at that. To her great surprise, her first October in the Isles, they did in fact have Halloween, though it looked a little different than in the human realm. No one dressed up as witches or werewolves, except her, since all those things existed here. They dressed up as humans. Doctors and lawyers and just everyday human objects. She'd never forget the two years Gus went as a toaster.

Amity smiled, she had a good feeling Luz would like that.

"Yes, but that's not the reason I picked it, querida. It's the next blue moon," she said.

" The bl- the blue moon!" Luz lit up. "That's perfect, amor!"

"Yeah?" Amity smiled.

"Yeah! There's something… hmm, not ironic, but you know what I mean, like, coming full circle." Luz tapped her chin, trying to think of the right word.

"That was my thought exactly." Amity nodded. "I also know how much you love Halloween." she grinned.

"It's true, I do." Luz smiled. "Though I get a distinct feeling that you're not going to let our wedding be costume themed…," she trailed off suggestively.

"No," is the deadpan answer.

"Fine…," Luz pouts. Amity rolled her eyes for the third time since waking up; forty-five minutes ago.

"So, October?"

"October" Luz agrees. "Could I wear an orange suit?" She tries and Amity laughs.

"If you want… but please don't. Orange is not your color, Luz."

"I know, I just wanted to see if you'd let me."

"It is your wedding too."

"Yeah, but you get kinda controlling when you're in charge of planning things, amor," Luz smirks at her as they walk through the market.

"I…!" Amity's mouth closes with a quiet click. She knows it's true, the first blue moon masquerade she'd had to throw after she'd turned sixteen had been a little tense, not the party, but the planning, she'd been a little hard on their friends and Luz, with her anal-retentive tendencies. Luz described her as "type A" and after she actually explained what that meant Amity had to admit it was true.

"I… am going to try very hard, not to do that. I want us to do this together," she said after a moment. Luz smiled at her and lifted their interlaced hands to lay a kiss on the back of Amity's hand in answer.

Amity pulls them to a certain stall in the market and she recognizes him.

He's large and scaly with four eyes and a tail. The same merchant Luz had bought Amity's broach from years ago. The one she still wears pinned to her shirt, under her cloak.

"Miss Blight, Miss Noceda!" He greets happily as they approach.

That's something Luz is still getting used to, people recognizing and knowing her. They and their friends had been pretty front and center during the rebellion after all.

"Good morning, Mr. Azbar." Amity greets him.

"How can I be of service to you today?" He asks looking between them, all four eyes blinking.

"We're looking for a ring," Amity tells him. He hums and gestures to a section of his wares, where some are sitting in their cloth slots on display.

Luz looks them over carefully. They're all pretty, but nothing she would really describe as her style. They're either too big or too much, more in the style that the upper class of Isles society would wear. Very showy, which once, Luz would have jumped at, but her flair for being bright and loud had settled some with age. She doesn't need to be loud or over the top for people to look and pay attention to her. She's not an insecure teenager anymore. She has the attention of all the people she needs.

She's still over the top at heart, but only with those closest to her.

"They're nice," she finally says. "But nothing really jumps out at me." She shrugs and Amity looks disappointed, while Azbar hums, looking at her thoughtfully.

"I do have something else, it was a special order, but the gentlemen who ordered it was a loyalist and met a rather… unfortunate end last year…" he says, tail swaying behind him.

"Sure, let's see it." Luz nods.

He digs under his stall before pulling out a little black box and pops it open.

"Oh, wow," Luz breathes.

It's a silver band with little scrolling patterns engraved into the sides, but the gem inlaid atop it is obviously the centerpiece. It's a bright plum color, with a vaguely star-shaped white pattern on its surface.

"It's beautiful." Amity agrees.

"It's a plum star jewel." He says and Amity's eyes widen at that. "Ahh, I see you're familiar with the stone, Miss. Blight," Azbar says.

"Plum star?" Luz questions.

"They're quite rare, something about their composition and how they're formed, only on the head, allows them to act as conduits for the natural magic of the Isles," Amity explains to her. "That would be perfect for you actually, Luz, it would probably increase your glyphs powers by letting you more easily draw on the magic of the Isles." Amity smiles.

"It's really pretty too." Luz looks at it with starry eyes and Amity sees how enamored Luz is with the ring.

"How much?" she asks him.

"Three-thousand-five hundred"

"Ay dios mio!" Luz shouts, standing up straight, eyes blown wide.

"For the two of you, however, I would take two. I'm certainly not going to make any money from the dead man who ordered it."

"We'll take it," Amity says, and Luz's head whips to her.

"What, No!" she half shouts at her.

"You like this one, I know you do, Luz," Amity says.

"That's a ridiculous amount to spend on my ring, Amity," she argues.

"How much did you spend on my ring?" she asks, planting a hand on her hip, and Luz pursed her lips.

Amity may not know for certain, but she grew up in the upper classes, she knows what a fine piece of jewelry looks like, and what it costs, and she knows her ring is just that. So she has a pretty good idea, and highly suspects Luz paid more than what she's proposing to spend right now.

"I don't have to answer that question." She crosses her arms and turns her nose up.

"Mhmm…," Amity hums knowingly. Luz huffs. "Luz, you said you'd let me buy you the ring you wanted," she reminds and Luz grumbles.

When they were young, Luz had always been weird about money, she never had any qualms about spending her own, hard-earned money on Amity, but never liked it when she spent money on her.

It wasn't until they were older that she admitted that she just never wanted it to seem like she was taking advantage of the money Amity came from. Which she personally thought was ridiculous, she was quite happy to spend her family's money on Luz. It made her mother angry and she liked to make Luz happy; both wins in her book. Especially so long as her father still funded her and the twins, when they asked, and even if he didn't, Amity would still be glad to work just so she could make her future wife happy.

This however was not funded by her father, this was money Amity had been saving for some time, just for this. Luz had simply beat her to the punch. After the first time they had talked about marriage, several years ago, she had started a separate savings fund just for this, and had been quite diligent in putting into it over that time.

They had worked it out, but sometimes, Luz still got a little skittish about it.

"This is the one you want, I know it is, so please?"

Luz sighed, looking at her before glancing back at the ring.

"Alright, yes. That's the one I want," she finally admitted, and Amity smiled, turning to Azbar, who grinned, showing off a mouth full of sharp teeth.

"Excellent!" He closed the box and Amity spun a finger, a sac of snails falling out into her open palm, which she gladly traded off for the box.

"A pleasure to do business with you both, and congratulations." He nodded.

"Thank you," they both said before they walked down the street.

Amity popped it open and pulled the ring from its box and held her hand out.

Luz set her hand in Amity's and let her slip the ring on her finger. She flexed it experimentally, testing the new weight into her hand.

"Well?" Amity asked.

"It's beautiful, amor," she agreed. "Thank you." She smiled, looking up at her. Amity smiled back before leaning down to kiss her.

"Come on, I promised you breakfast," she mumbled against her lips.

~ ~

Two days after their trip to the market Luz is standing in the kitchen brewing potions when Amity and Lilith come home from the Council headquarters, formerly Emperor Belos' castle, at mid-morning.

"Hey, you two are back really early." She grins at them, and they both smile back, but there's something off about it. "Something wrong, was the council such a pain in the ass you left early?" She cocks a brow as she stirs a large orange batch of something.

"No, we've been digging through some of the Belos' more secret places in the depths of the castle, and we found something yesterday, we've been doing some tests on it and have found it to be in perfect working condition…," Lilith trails off. Amity is biting her lip, which makes Luz frown. She only does that when she was worried or nervous.

"What did you find?" Luz asks curiously.

Lilith and Amity share a glance.

"We brought it home, I think it would be better if we showed you," Lilith said before turning to Amity. "Get Eda."

Amity nods before hurrying up the stairs to the younger Clawthorne sister's room.

"Now you're scaring me…" Luz frowned. "Why is Amity upset?"

Lilith frowned.

"She's not upset, just… anxious, I suppose," she hedges.

Amity then returns with Eda.

"So what did you find in that Bozos' castle?" She crosses her arms.

"Come see for yourself." Lilith looks at her seriously.

She leads them outside and around the back of the house and the second it comes into view both Luz and Eda stop cold.

Sitting there in the grass, it's one golden eye staring back at them, is the portal.

Luz is breathless as the door from her dreams and nightmares looks back at her.

Eda's shock doesn't last as long, but then her worried eyes are on Luz, along with Amity's and Lilith's.

"The portal…," she breathes, finally taking a step toward it.

Amity is twisting her fingers anxiously in her cloak as she watches. Her ring feels heavy on her finger.

The door looks like it has seen better days, it's pieces patchworked together with bits of metal and who knows what. He somehow fixed it after she destroyed it.

"You said it works?" Luz finally looks at Lilith, who nods.

"We've been testing it's magic extensively since yesterday morning, and it works every time," she said. "We brought it back, so you may use it, if you wish." She glanced at a fidgeting Amity.

Luz blinks at that.

Her mother… she could finally see her again, tell her where she's been for the past six years.

Slowly she nods.

"Yes,...I...I need my staff!" She turns around and ran back into the house.

Amity feels like she's on the verge of hyperventilating as she stands there, motionless in the yard. Luz needed this, needed to see her mother after all these years.

But what if she decided she didn't want to come back to the Isles?

What if she decided not to come back to her?

The thought is ridiculous, but the fear remains, bubbling in her chest anxiously.

Luz comes running back with her staff in its holster on her back and she still looks shocked and bewildered, but determined.

"Are you sure you're ready, Luz? You don't need to go right this second..." Eda tells her cautiously, she feels much like Amity but is better at hiding it than the younger witch.

"No… " Luz shakes her head. "but it's been six years, I can't make her wait any longer." Eda is frowning but nods.

She takes a step toward the door but stops to glance at Amity and can immediately tell by the hunch of her shoulders and the way her brows furrow between her eyes as she clutches at her cloak that she's scared. Of what, Luz isn't sure, but her fiancée's apparent discomfort beats out her other roiling emotions for the moment and she moves to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks quietly, reaching out to take hold of her left hand in hers. Their rings make a quiet clinking noise.

Amity shakes her head.

Truthfully, as soon as she had seen the portal in the dank nether regions of the castle, she had wanted to destroy it and never tell Luz about it.

It makes her ashamed to admit that she probably would have if Lilith hadn't been standing there with her. She and Lilith had discussed this at great length since they had found the portal, and as much as she didn't want to, she had to give Luz the choice, because she loved her; it wasn't fair or right to take that choice away from her.

She had to have faith that the woman she loved would come back to her.

"Nothing, Luz… just…" she can't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound selfish or admit how she feels because guilting Luz into not going would be selfish too, and even if she wasn't trying to guilt her, she knew Luz, and Luz would stay if she thought she didn't want her to go.

Luz seems to understand, at least a little bit.

"Hey, it's okay. I'll be fine and back soon, mi amor," she gently assures her with a kiss.

Amity just nods, and then Luz pulls away and turns to the door. She takes a deep breath and with a final glance around at the gathered witches, she opens the door and a blinding light fills the door frame and lights her silhouette as she steps through and it closes behind her.

Amity takes a shuddering breath and spins a finger and her staff appears.

"I'm going back to the castle…," is all she says, and then is flying off before Eda or Lilith can say anything.

"She's worried…" Lilith frowns, watching her go.

"Me too…" Eda frowns at the closed door.

~

The moment Luz steps through the other side she's hit by an assortment of sounds and smells that tug at her memory but also assault her senses.

Even standing in the doorway to the rickety shack in the woods, she can hear the sounds of traffic, something almost foreign to her now, and smell the slight unnaturalness in the air from the everyday pollution. She wrinkles her nose at it.

She also feels strange… like she's been cut off from something, it's hard to put it into words.

She pulls a glyph from her pocket and when she tries to cast the simple light spell the paper disintegrates into dust.

Frowning, she reaches for her staff.

She pulls it from her back and gives it a test, her palisman's eyes glow and a few light spells pop into existence and she sighs in relief, not only because at least the magic of her staff works, but because when she feels it's power course through her, she realizes what the strange feeling is.

Being cut off from the magic of the Isles.

Having learned and trained the last six years to use the wild magic that came from the island itself, she had a deep connection to it, going into another realm and cutting herself off from it feels like losing an appendage; like a phantom limb. she can almost feel it and she knows it's supposed to be there but it isn't and she can keenly feel its loss.

She slips her staff back into its holster and walks down the rickety wooden steps of the abandoned house and follows the path till she's standing next to the street and looks around as cars drive past, their engines loud and cacophonous.

She guessed that the human world really was always this loud, she'd just grown used to not having all the noise of industrialization around her all the time in the demon realm.

She turns and freezes.

There it is, the small house on the corner that was her childhood home.

She swallows thickly.

What if her mother didn't live there anymore? What if she moved away after Luz had disappeared?

As she stands there worrying, a car pulls into the driveway and a woman steps out and Luz's heart stops.

The woman is a little older now. With far more gray in her hair, but it's her mother.

She stands there motionless, watching Camila Noceda walk into the house.

Luz squared her shoulders. It was time.

She walks quickly up to the house and stands on the porch.

She thought about this moment countless times over the last six years, and she had always thought she knew what she was going to say or do when this moment came, but now that she's standing here about to make it a reality, she has no idea.

She takes a deep calming breath and reaches a shaky hand up, hesitating only a moment before finally knocking on the door.

It feels like an eternity, but it's probably only a minute at best before the door clicks open and her mother is standing there, looking at her from the other side.

"Yes, how-" she starts but stops as she stares at the young woman standing on her porch, looking so strange in her cloak, with leather pouches hanging off her hips and a long stick with a carved owl on top hanging off her back, but she looks so achingly familiar it makes Camila's heart twist and she tries to stomp down the hope rising in her chest. How many girls had she seen from behind over the years and hoped had been her little girl? Y-yes?"

"Hi, Mamí." Is all Luz can think to say.

Camila sucks in a sharp breath and her eyes glaze over as she shakes her head.

"You… you can't be…," she says shakily, gripping the doorway tightly.

"It is. It's me." Luz smiles, her own eyes starting to burn with tears.

"Luz… I… tell me, tell me something only Luz would know!" she demands but it's more begging, pleading with this familiar-looking stranger to please be who she says she is.

"Something only I would know…," Luz repeats, thinking. "Um, when I was ten you had to pick me up from school because I blew up a glitter bomb in science class and claimed I didn't need science because I had ma…"

"Magic…," Camila chokes and the tears are suddenly pouring down her face. "Luz!" she wails, throwing herself on her, and her grip is so tight Luz can barely breathe, but she holds her back just as tightly, her own tears finally dripping from her face as they sink to a pile on the porch.

They sit there for a very long time, till her mother can't cry anymore and neither can she.

Camila finally pulls back to look at her, eyes red and puffy and she cups Luz's face in her hands.

"You're a grown woman…," her mother sniffles, looking at her so sadly, even as she smiles at her. "You never came home… I looked for so long…" tears are still sliding down her cheeks. "Where have you been, Mija?" she finally asks desperately.

"We better go inside so you can sit down… you're not going to believe me…," she says and Camila frowns at that.

She doesn't believe her; at first.

Luz tells her where she's been and Camila thinks she's gone crazy, until she proves it by doing some spells with her staff and pulls her old phone out of her pocket she grabbed when she went to get her staff, and begins showing her the photos and videos she's taken over the years of the Isles, of Eda, Lilith, King, and Hooty. She carefully avoids the ones of Amity for now. She doesn't want to overload her mother by telling her she's engaged, as though that would be the hardest thing to believe in her story…

Camila sits amazed and silent for a long while as she explains Belos' and having to destroy the portal to save Eda, even though it effectively cut her off from the human realm. She talks about going to Hexside, graduating, and her friends, which makes Camila smile.

Eventually, she starts asking questions and Luz is happy to answer them all. They sit there for hours, talking. Luz gestures wildly as she tells her stories and Camila can see it clearly.

Her excitable little girl, in this older, mature, young woman sitting next to her, and for the first time in years, doesn't feel the hollow ache in her heart that had been present since the day Luz had disappeared.

It's when Luz is gesturing wildly with her hands that Camila notes the glint on her left hand and gasps, making Luz stop.

"What?" She blinks and Camila grabs her left hand and is looking at the silver ring and it's glinting violet, and white, oval stone.

Oh

"You're married, Mija?!" Camila all but shouts. She missed her daughter's wedding?!

"Engaged, actually…" Luz grins. Guess she was going to tell her about Amity now. "Just a week ago in fact."

"Engaged! Tell me, tell me all about him!" Her mother is smiling.

"Her, actually," she says nervously. Her mother had known she was bi, but she had been fourteen at the time and this was a totally different thing.

"Tell me about her." Her mother still demands and Luz smiles.

"Her name is Amity… we've been together six years, since that first summer…"

Luz then launches into what she refers to as an epic tale of romance and adventure.

Even if it starts with Amity not liking her very much. She goes through it all.

Their first meeting at Hexside, the covention, Grom, grudgby, the masquerade and so many of the little moments in between up to Luz's proposal last week and then the finding of the portal door.

Camila asks many questions about Amity and everyone and makes faces throughout. Exasperated at so many of her daughter's antics and happy for all her triumphs.

By the end of it all, tears are welling up in her eyes again.

"I've missed so much of your life…," she says sadly.

Luz grabs her hands and holds them tightly between hers.

"You've missed some, but I promise you won't miss anymore." She smiles.

Camila nods but is frowning.

"You're not coming back to stay are you?" she asks and Luz frowns.

"No…" Luz shook her head. "The rest of my family… my friends… the love of my life... they're all back on the Bolling Isles...I've made a life there, besides, we both know I never fit in here… that's why you sent me to summer camp in the first place…"

Camila flinches at that. How often over the last six years had she wished with all her heart that she had never sent Luz away?

"You could have…" Camila starts but Luz shakes her head.

"Mamí, everyone at school hated me. I never told you about it because I didn't want you to worry, but no one wanted to be friends with me. They picked on me constantly. I was never going to be like them, but back home… I get to be everything and do everything I ever wanted. For my part in the rebellion, people respect me, I have friends that would do anything if I asked them and a fiancée who loves me," she says and squeezes her mom's hands. "The Isles are my home."

Camila sniffles but nods sadly.

"You really have grown up, Mija," she says.

"You can still be a part of my life. Now that the portal is working I can come to visit you anytime and you can come to visit me."

"I would like to meet your friends and Amity." She smiles and Luz grins brightly.

"You'll love her!" Luz promised.

Camila tells her about the very hard two years just after she disappeared and all the time she spent looking for her before finally giving up, and it makes guilt swell in Luz's gut, but she knows there's nothing to do about it now. She never stopped trying to find a way, it just never panned out anytime they thought they had a lead.

They talked for hours until Luz realizes the sun is coming up. She's been here since yesterday morning.

"Mierda!" She jumps up off the couch. "I've been here a whole twenty-four hours, Amity is probably worried about me!"

Camila stands, and though the last thing she wants is to see Luz go, she knows she must.

"Come back soon, please, Mija…" she says and Luz smiles and hugs her.

"I promise I'll be back in a day or two, I'll take you to meet everyone."

"I'd like that…" she smiles and squeezes her daughter tightly and walks her to the door.

Luz bounds down the steps and turns to smile and wave at her. Camila waves back, and then Luz is running down the street toward the woods. Camila stands on the porch, watching her go until she can't see her anymore.

She hops up the steps and opens the door and is relieved when she steps through into the demon realm. There was a small fear in the back of her mind that the door might not work.

As soon as she steps back out, into the backyard of the owl house, she can feel her connection to the Isles return, like stepping out of a stuffy house out into the cool fresh air. She breathes deeply and smiles as she runs around to the front of the house.

"Luz, your back!" Hooty stretched out to greet her, wriggling happily.

"I'm back," she grins at him and steps inside.

Lilith is sitting on the couch and looks up when she walks in.

"You're back!" She sounds relieved.

"Of course, is Amity here? I have a lot to tell her."

"No, she left early this morning, she… seemed upset." Lilith hesitates to tell her, but Luz deserves to know.

She frowns but nods. She would have to make up for that. She was gone longer than she meant to be and never meant to worry her.

"I'll talk to her when she gets home,"

"How was it?" Lilith asks curiously and Luz grins.

"Great. We had a lot to talk about but... I think my mom's gonna be okay. She just needs some time to soak it all up I think." She shrugs and Lilith nods.

"It is a lot to take in."

"Is Mom home?" she asks. And Lilith cocks a brow at that but nods.

"In the kitchen."

Luz walks into the kitchen where Eda is standing at their brewing station, working on something.

"I'm back!" she announces, making Eda look up, she looks relieved to see her.

"Hey, kid. How'd it go?" she asks cautiously.

Luz smiles and tells her all about it. Eda nods along, listening to her story.

"I think things are going to be kind of interesting, introducing mamí to everyone and the Isles," she chuckles.

Eda nods and Luz hums, walking over. Eda has been kind of quiet.

"Something up, momma?" she asks, hopping up on the counter next to where Eda is working. She shakes her head, the word stings her today.

"Come on, tell me." Luz nudges her with her foot and Eda sighs, knowing that Luz isn't going to go away until she speaks.

"Lilith had me looking at the seating chart she's helping Amity with for the wedding, had me in the front row, but now that you got your mom back, she should have that spot, kid," she says.

"Huh?" Luz blinks at her owlishly. She can read between the lines. Is that what has her all down, she thinks that Luz isn't going to look at her as her mother anymore?

She has her mamí back, it's true, but Luz isn't going anywhere, and no one, even her birth mother could ever take the place Eda has claimed In her heart, just as Eda could never really take Camila's.

"Your mom should be in the front row at the wedding, Luz," Eda says, not looking up from the potion she's working on.

"You will be." Luz says, "and Mamí will be right next to you."

"Luz, it's ok…," she says quietly, and Luz's frown deepens.

"She's my mom... but so are you." She asserts.

"Luz you don't need to-" Eda sighs.

"You are," Luz affirms, cutting her off and hopping off the counter to stand eye to eye with the older witch. "You didn't have to take me in, take care of me, or teach me magic, but you did, for six years you did all these things you didn't have to. You certainly didn't have to love me, but you did, and I love you. You'll always be my mom, and you'll sit right next to mamí in the front row at my wedding where you belong," she tells her, leaving no room for argument, and for the first time since Luz can ever remember, tears are starting to drip down Eda's cheeks. It's been some close calls over the years, but this is the first time she's ever openly shed tears in front of Luz.

Eda wraps her arms around her, chin on her shoulder and Luz squeezed her back just as tightly.

"I love you too, kid." Eda sniffles and Luz smiled, burying her face in Eda's shoulder as tears stung at her own eyes. She's been doing way too much crying lately.

She pulled back and Eda wiped at her eyes just as the front door opened, and they can hear Amity and Lilith talking.

"Hey babe, in here!" Luz called and a second later Amity is standing in the doorway, gold eyes wide.

"You're back!" A bright smile broke out across her face as she hurried to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around her.

Luz laughed, squeezing her fiancée tightly.

"Of course. I told you, I would be." She pulled back enough to kiss Amity's cheek.

"I know, I was just… worried about you, that maybe you missed your home more than you thought you would… that you might not come back..., " she admits sheepishly. Luz can hear the 'to me' in her words.

"I missed mamí, but my home is here, with you, Amity," Luz assured her with a squeeze.

Amity pressed her smile into Luz's neck and squeezed her back.

Once Amity was thoroughly reassured Luz pulled back and grinned at her.

"She can't wait to meet you!"

"Meet me?!" Amity squeaked.

[roguerogerss]

Sorry is a Sorry Word

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Plot: Steve fucked up - bad. He doesn’t really know how, or if, he should say sorry, until Dustin gives him a pep talk.

W/C: 3.1k

A/N: Just now realising how long this is oops, sorry. My first Stranger Things fic! Finally. (watch this flop so hard lmao) Remember to like and reblog if you enjoy! It really helps me out. As always, requests are open and any and all feedback is appreciated <3

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"Dustin, Please, just leave me alone." She lay back on her bed, tears streaming down her face and hair amiss from where she'd run her fingers through it. "I'm fine, I just...give me some time."

"But, we tell eachother everything." Her little brother sounded so small and defeated that it almost broke her heart in two. She could hear him leaning his back against the door, the back of his head thumping dully against the wood a second later. "I feel like we're drifting apart. You don't talk to me anymore."

"Dustin-"

"No, it's okay. Don't worry." Dustin cleared the remnants of his upset from his throat, "We can talk later. I get that you need time."

And with that, he'd left. She could hear his muffled footsteps on the carpeted floor of the hallway, walking away from her bedroom and back to his own. She knew that she wanted to talk to him and vent about all of the happenings of the day, but she couldn't bring herself to let her walls down in front of anyone about her current situation just yet.

It was Steve. And it was bad.

They'd been together for a year and ten months. He'd been there for her through thick and thin. Whenever their mom went MIA, something that happened more often than not, during the days and weeks and months that Y/N was left to take care of her thirteen year old brother on her own with no notice whatsoever, Steve was there. And he'd take Dustin out to the cinema, give him free ice cream, play Dungeons and Dragons with him and his friends - even though Steve had no idea how to play Dungeons and Dragons. He'd sleep over, make her feel like she wasn't alone. It filled her with pride to see him taking Dustin under his wing, more like a dad than even an older brother.

When they lost Hopper, who'd become more of a parental figure than she and Dustin's mom was to her, he was standing by her side at the funeral, hand grasping her own smaller one with force and squeezing it every so often, just to remind her that he was there. He was there after the funeral, too, when they went to the cabin and went through Hopper's things. He was there when she found the birthday present that Hopper had bought for her, a necklace with, 'you're pretty cool, kid', engraved on it. Hopper's way of saying that he loved her. It came with a letter, one that she cried so hard while reading that she couldn't see the words on the page.

The point was, that Steve had been there through everything. And now that they'd had a huge argument over - of all things - Nancy Wheeler, she was unsure of whether or not she'd have Steve to lean on anymore.

It wasn't so much a stupid argument as it was a stupid mistake on Steve's end. He even admitted to himself that what he'd done was more than a dick move. Tina was having a party, a big one, for old time's sake. Y/N wasn't invited, having been socially considered as 'uncool' while in High School, while Steve was invited. He said that it wasn't a big deal, it didn't matter, he wouldn't go.

Except that it was a big deal, it did matter, and, well, he did go.

He'd gotten really drunk, so drunk, in fact, that he had no recollection of the night at all and managed to stumble to Y/N's front door at five in the morning.

He'd told her that he went to the party, that he was sorry. She'd been mad, but she was so tired that she said she'd deal with it in the morning and told Steve to sleep it off on the sofa. Before going to sleep, however, Steve had told Y/N that he 'thought he might've kissed Nancy' that night.

They'd argued about it the next day. She'd dropped him off at home, neither of them speaking at all in the car, and they'd screamed at eachother in Steve's living room. Little did either of them know, Steve hadn't actually kissed Nancy, he was just so drunk that he made himself believe that he had. And then, Y/N told Steve that they were done, and he'd said 'fine', and she'd left and cried in her car for an hour.

And now, she was here. Crying on her bed, little brother probably thinking that one of her friends had died or something.

She hated herself for blowing up and flying off the handle and literally breaking up with Steve. Steve, on the other hand, hated himself for even going to the party, hated himself for - possibly - kissing Nancy, hated himself for going to Y/N's front door and waking her up so early in the morning.

In the grand scheme of things, Steve Harrington had been an asshole. And he was all too aware of it.

It had been around half an hour since she got home when Dustin knocked on the door again. This time, she'd managed to calm down enough to allow him to come inside. She looked horrifying, hair messed up, tear stained face, cuddling a pillow and wearing one of Steve's shirts, but Dustin was her brother, he had no right to judge her.

The door swung open slowly, and Dustin was there, grinning and holding two pints of ice cream, spoons, and some movies. "Thought we could put a movie on and eat. And you can tell me about your problems and I promise I'll listen."

"Is the ice cream cookie dough?" Y/N asked, sniffling, and a watery smile crossed her face. Dustin laughed, happy to see his sister perking up at least a little bit, even if it was over ice cream, and turned the carton to reveal to her that it was, in fact, cookie dough.

"Only the best." He tossed one of the cartons and a spoon at her, and turned on the TV set that sat across from her bed. "Besides, I know it's the only one you'll eat when you're sad."

"You know me entirely too well." She hugged her knees to her chest and dug into her ice cream, relishing in the taste of it for a second, "Oh my God, I haven't had this in so long. And the Scoops cookie dough is so bad."

"Right? I know Steve thinks it's the best, but he is so wrong." Little did Dustin know, one mention of his name would make Y/N's meltdown begin all over again. Soon enough, she was crying hot tears into her ice cream, and she allowed Dustin to lay his head on her shoulder while she explained everything.

"Okay, I have to go somewhere." Dustin knew what he had to do, and Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as he got swiftly up from her bed. "I'll be like, maybe half an hour. But you can eat my ice cream if it starts to melt."

"Dustin! Don't leave me!"

"Watch the movie!"

And then he was gone, and she was by herself, with only some ice cream and E.T. to keep her company.

Meanwhile, Dustin had found Steve at work. He was insanely hungover - although, the headache and sickness had gone away thanks to Robin and her Tylenol, but the tiredness still remained - and reminded Dustin faintly of a particular zombie in Day of the Dead when he walked into Family Video to find him leaning on the counter. The grim look on his face wasn't so much because of the hangover, though, it was more to do with the fact that he and his girlfriend of nearly two years had broken up half an hour ago, and he'd been forced to go to work.

"If you're here to talk to Steve, I wouldn't. He nearly punched me when I asked him if he wanted Tylenol. And I'm a girl." Robin stopped Dustin at the front door, a serious look on her face, but he shrugged her off.

"It's fine. He won't do anything. Besides, I know what this whole thing's about. That's why I'm here." He tried to walk off again, but Robin grabbed his upper arm, tugging him back and making him elaborate.

"Is it Y/N? I think there was a fight between them or something. He’s never looked this rough.” Robin looked concerned, and she was. She’d never seen Steve so upset before. “He was crying when he came in.” She added.

Dustin shrugged, “Yeah, I’m gonna talk to him. He’ll be fine tomorrow.” He decided not to give Robin any more information on the situation in case Y/N or Steve would've gotten mad at him for it.

"Henderson, hey." Steve said quietly when he noticed that Dustin had entered the store. He looked like he'd been crying, and Robin was definitely right when she said he’d never looked rougher. "If you're here to hang out-"

"I'm not here to hang out, Steve. We have to talk." Dustin crossed his arms sternly over his chest, raising his eyebrows and nodding his head in the direction of the store room. Steve grumbled and complied, unlocking the door and ushering Dustin inside.

"You have to apologise."

"Apologise? Apologise for - what exactly are we talking about?" Steve rubbed a hand exhaustedly over his face, leaning against a sealed box of movies that he was supposed to have put away by now.

"You know what for, Steve. Y/N. You hurt her. Like, really badly. I don't think I've ever seen her so upset." Steve already wanted Dustin to stop, but he continued, really wanting him to get the message of just how hurt his sister was. "She cried in her room for half an hour before she even let me talk to her, and now she's at home by herself, probably crying some more because you went to a stupid party. I mean, seriously man, couldn't you just have stayed home? What was so important about it?"

Steve threw his head back and hid his face with his hands, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He knew that he'd been a dick, he knew that he'd hurt her, but, Jesus, knowing the details made his heart flip in his chest and his stomach hurt. He hated seeing Y/N upset at the best of times, nevermind when it was his fault.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should've just left it. Jeez, Dustin, I'm such an asshole."

"Yes. An asshole, you are. And what was that other shit? About you kissing Nancy?"

"I didn't kiss Nancy, okay? My drunk mind just kinda...made me believe that I did. I called her today just to confirm." Steve swallowed, suddenly having the nausea of his hangover coming back to him.

"Does Y/N know that?" Dustin had his arms crossed, back against the wall, looking unimpressed as Steve shook his head. "Seriously man? Don't you think that the first thing you should've done after finding out that you didn't actually cheat on your girlfriend, was tell your girlfriend that you didn't actually cheat on her?"

"My head's all over the place, Henderson. Cut me some slack, okay?"

"You have to come say sorry, you know that, right?"

"I will. I will, I promise. I finish in an hour, why don't you go home, I'll buy some flowers, take a shower and get changed, and I'll come chap on your door like none of this even happened." Steve had suddenly perked up, gesturing with his arms and almost getting excited to initiate his plan.

"Yeah. Sure. But it better be good, Harrington. You better make her happy."

Steve didn't even have time to respond before Dustin was running off, getting on his bike, and cycling back home to his sister. He promised himself internally that he'd do all it took to make her happy.

Y/N had finished her ice cream and Dustin's had started to melt by the time he got home. She hadn't cried any more, had been too focussed on the movie, and Dustin was relieved to see her laughing at something on the screen when he entered her bedroom.

"Hey." She smiled. "Your ice cream's melting, you'd better eat it."

Dustin smiled and bellyflopped onto her bed, sending her into a fit of laughter. They both laughed so hard, in fact, that they barely heard the doorbell ring, and Dustin almost got up to go and get it.

He stopped himself though, not wanting Steve to call him an idiot or something along those lines. "You should go. I have to eat my ice cream before it melts." He said sheepishly, sitting back down from where he'd jumped up. Y/N rolled her eyes and threw the pillow that she was holding at Dustin's face.

"Alright, make your sad sister get the door because you have to eat ice cream." She stood up even as she spoke, knowing that Dustin wasn't going to budge. "Nice one, asshole."

Y/N had left her bedroom before Dustin could retaliate, bounding down the stairs and realising that, if anyone saw her the way that she looked now, they'd probably never respect her again. The doorbell went again, and she sighed quietly at the lack of patience from whoever was on the other side.

She - stupidly - didn't even bother to look out of the window that stood next to the door to check who it was before opening it, and nearly closed it again when she realised who was standing there.

"Hey, woah, don't close the door yet!" It was Steve, his eyes widened from the possibility that he'd come all the way to her house so that she could slam the door in his face, holding white lilies and a box of chocolates, which was - in Y/N's opinion - the cheesiest apology ever. "Just...listen? For like, a minute."

She slowly let her hand slide off of the door knob, watching as Steve relaxed a significant amount even from seeing her do that. "A minute." She crossed her arms over her chest, chewing her cheek. "You have a minute."

"Okay, uh, yeah, okay." Steve began his rambling. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have gone to that party, I know I shouldn't have gotten so drunk that I managed to convince myself that I kissed Nancy. Did I already say that I didn't actually kiss Nancy? I called her, and she said we didn't even speak. Bottom line is, I'm an asshole. I know that, and I hate myself for hurting you. Dustin told me how upset you were and I...I couldn't even comprehend the fact that I did that."

He paused, looking down at his feet and waiting for Y/N to say something. Something that didn't come, she simply stood, looking at and biting her fingernails, trying to figure out whether or not she should give in and forgive him or not, so he stopped waiting and spoke some more.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I love you so much. And I know that I fucked up, and I don't expect you to forgive me-"

"Steve." Y/N stopped him. He looked up at her, expecting that she'd look upset or annoyed, but she was smiling and shaking her head. "Come here."

"Seriously?" He already wished he hadn't said what he did before he'd even finished speaking. Seriously? What kind of thing to say was that? "I mean, you know-"

She was already hugging him before he could finish speaking. She knew that he'd ramble on for hours if he could, but she also knew that she already forgave him and didn't need to listen to his rambling. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"Oh, thank God. I thought I'd lost you, really, I did." He sighed into her hair, realising that he was probably ruining the bouquet of flowers with the way that he was crushing them against her back.

"Well, you were an asshole. You had every right to think you'd lost me." Steve had always loved her subtle sassiness, it was a habit that she often fell into unknowingly, but it made him chuckle.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I was an asshole."

She let go of him, finally, and stood back. He was wearing his light blue jeans, a black t-shirt and belt, with a blue jacket. It was an outfit that she'd seen him in before, quite a few times, but he never failed to look good in it anyway. His hair was slightly amiss, as though he'd gotten ready as quickly as he could - which was true, but she didn't know that for sure - but it still had his Steve 'the hair' Harrington charm.

"So, can I come in, or are you just gonna stand there and mock me?" He grinned and she stood to the side, allowing him to join her in the hallway. He went straight for the kitchen, taking out a vase and filling it up with water, then placing the flowers in it and leaving it on the kitchen counter.

"I didn't say you could-" She was trying to joke with him, but he didn't seem to care much, as he cut her off by dipping his head towards hers and kissing her passionately. He hated to admit it, probably something to do with the small part of his King Steve persona that he still carried around with him, but he'd missed her, and it had only been a few hours.

"Woah, easy tiger." Y/N laughed, pulling away when Steve's hands started to travel downwards. "We haven't even properly spoken yet."

"Yeah. Sorry." Steve said sheepishly. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and smiled down at the floor. "Do you wanna talk?"

She shrugged. "Not particularly."

"So, really, it's okay for me to do this," He closed the gap between them again, beaming at her while he searched her face for any sign of disapproval and admired the little flecks of contrasting colours that danced in her eyes. And then he kissed her again, lips soft against her own, gentle - something that wasn't widely believed, Steve Harrington was actually one of the most gentle people that Y/N had ever met.

"Well, yeah." She grinned, breathless. "But I'm sort of in the middle of watching a movie, wanna join?"

And so they spent the rest of the day, wrapped in the blankets on Y/N's bed and Y/N wrapped in Steve's arms, watching movies that Dustin fished out from the cabinet under the TV that Y/N didn't even know that they had.

She had to say, Steve's apologies were often cheesy and terrible, but this one wasn’t so bad as it was enjoyable.

[raisedbyfandomwolves]

Hello, I have a fanfic prompt... I think. I was told.on twitter to send it to you this way. Apologies if I've done this all wrong. Shottmacher and Karamel get drunk, go to Vagas and get married. I love your stories! Thank you for all you write.

This is... very long... and I’m sorry it took so long but I hope you like it.

A marching band was having a full dress rehearsal in her skull.

At least, that was the best that Kara's sluggish brain could offer as an explanation for the throbbing pain. Not even the blissful comfort of the very fluffy pillow underneath her head could help with that... or muffle every sound in the world which was really annoyingly loud right now.

Groaning, she forced her eyes to open only to almost immediately squeeze them shut again when blinding light was her reward for her efforts. The stabbing pain made her headache worse and elicited a pitiful whine out of her. Why had she woken up again? And why couldn't she just go back to sleep and escape all this suffering?

She tried, pulling her pillow out from under her head and using it to shut out all the light and sound, but it was no use; both the pounding and racket persisted until she finally gave up and attempted to brave the morning even as she did her best to remember how the hell she had ended up like this. Eve had suggested going to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate Winn's recent promotion and both Mike and Kara had naturally agreed since they wanted to mark the occasion with their close friend.

Unfortunately, everything after they had checked in to their hotel was a blur. There were drinks – which would explain the almost lethal hangover she was having right now – and some gambling... Mike had won a tidy sum in a lucky streak at the roulette table... More drinking... Then nothing.

God, why did she feel like she was forgetting something really important?

Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she raised her left hand to press it to her still throbbing forehead-

-only to get momentarily blinded by an unexpected glint on said hand.

She squinted uncomprehendingly at the glint and blinked a few times in the hope that it would help.

Then she realised what she was looking at with a sense of dawning horror and her hangover magically vanished.

Dread descended upon her as she began noticing other things like how she was naked under the sheets... and, as she turned her head slowly to her side, that there was someone else in bed with her.

Usually, she took every opportunity to ogle her boyfriend's very nice bare chest which sometimes doubled as her pillow... but Kara found herself struggling to do that this one time.

Mostly because her attention was focused on a shiny item on the ring finger of his left hand – a certain item that was identical to the source of the glint on her own left hand.

All of a sudden, Kara had a very strong sinking feeling she knew at least one of the events that had happened during that giant hole in her memory.

“Mike.” She shook him with as much energy as she could muster. “Mike, wake up. WAKE. UP. RIGHT. NOW.”

A pained groan was the first sign of life that he gave, and just as she had several minutes ago, he blearily opened his eyes for a split second only to snap them shut again. “Kara? Oh god, why is it so bright in here?”

There was a small sympathetic part of her that wanted to give him time to get his bearings and all that but it was vetoed by her panic. “Mike, look at your left hand.”

“My left hand?” he echoed confusedly even as he sluggishly lifted said hand to his face. “What about-” He immediately fell silent when he realised what was around his ring finger and with wide eyes slowly turned to face her again.

She wordlessly held up her left hand.

Those blue-grey eyes she loved so much got that little bit bigger.

“Oh,” was all he managed.

“Yeah. 'Oh',” she repeated dryly.

Before their monosyllabic conversation could go any further, they were startled by the sound of a stampede approaching the connecting door linking their hotel room to its neighbour. Kara only had a second to realise what was going to happen and dived back under the sheets with a panicked squeak before there was a telltale beep and the connecting door was thrown wide open.

Standing in the doorway with a thunderous expression was none other than Eve who managed to look threatening even when she was clearly wearing nothing but a sheet. Behind her, a pale-faced Winn was squeaking her name while his hands maintained a desperate grip on the towel haphazardly wrapped around his waist which was similarly quite possibly the only thing he was wearing.

“TELL ME,” she all but roared at Kara and Mike who flinched at the assault on their already suffering eardrums. “TELL ME YOU TWO DIDN'T GET MARRIED WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK LAST NIGHT.”

Rendered mute by fear of their impending deaths, Kara and Mike slowly held up their left hands even as they attempted to disappear into the bed.

Dead silence followed.

Then Eve let out an unholy shriek that caused the other three present to clap their hands over their ears. (In Winn's case, he ended up dropping his towel but luckily no one was looking and he managed to cover himself back up again before anyone noticed.)

“ANNUL THAT.” The way she was pointing at the couple in bed along with her expression brought to mind some mythical god who was about to bring down divine retribution on their puny mortal heads. “GET THAT ANNULLED IMMEDIATELY. I REFUSE TO LET THE TWO OF YOU GET DRUNK-MARRIED IN VEGAS WHERE I MISS THE CHANCE TO BE A PROPER MAID OF HONOUR AND CAN'T RECORD EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE OCCASION. GET DRESSED.” She whirled around to pin her own boyfriend with her deadly gaze, causing him to let out a terrified squeak and shrink into himself. “WINN. COME WITH ME. WE'RE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN UN-MARRY THEM NOW.”

With that, she slammed the connecting door shut, leaving Kara and Mike blessedly alone once again... technically speaking, at least.

“E-Eve! W-Wait!” Winn's piteous voice could still be heard on the other side. “We got married too! What are we going to do about that?!”

Kara wanted to feel sorry for him, she really did, but her own situation felt dire enough and with the way Eve was behaving about the whole thing, every moment of respite was welcome.

Her thoughts on what she was supposed to do next were interrupted by a wretched groan coming from her side and she turned to find Mike staring at his ring with an utterly miserable look on his face.

“Man,” he muttered dejectedly to himself as if he'd forgotten she was right there, “I can't believe we got married of all things...”

His words were like a bucket of ice cold water that had just gotten dumped right on her head. They'd been dating for over two years already and had even moved in together – mostly in the name of convenience but still – so there had been moments where she had tentatively thought about and even occasionally daydreamed of where she saw their relationship heading.

Apparently he didn't share her sentiments.

Suddenly she wished she was anywhere else and even cursed Eve for having suggested they come to Vegas in the first place.

“Right.” Her voice sounded strange to her own ears and she turned away from him so that he couldn't see that she was on the verge of crying. “Since it's clear you hate this so much, let's just hurry up and get it over with.”

“What? Hey wait.” He sounded confused as his hand – his left hand of all things – wrapped around her arm, stopping her from leaving the bed and gently trying to coax her into looking at him again. “Kara, what's wrong? What did you mean by that?”

Blinking away her tears, she reluctantly turned back towards him and tried to maintain a facade of relative indifference. “You've made it clear you don't want to... to be married to me so it just makes sense to get... It'll probably be easy to undo so we should-”

“Whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on.” He squeezed his eyes shut and dragged his free hand down his face. “Kara, why are you saying stuff like that? Where are you getting all this?”

His obtuseness made her snap despite her desire to escape her current situation without creating a scene. “You just implied a minute ago that getting married to me was like... like... the worst thing that could have ever happened to you!”

“What? When did I imply that?!”

“It's the way you said, and I quote, 'I can't believe we got married of all things'!”

“That's because I wanted to do it properly, okay?!”

For an indeterminate amount of time, the two of them just stared at each other in complete silence.

“...W-What?” Kara barely managed to get out, unsure she'd heard him correctly, and watched as he pulled his hand back and dropped his head in regret.

Mike said nothing for a long time and she was just about to ask him to clarify himself when he finally spoke again. “I've been trying to find the right moment to propose to you for the past month.”

Her heart did a weird flip-floppy thing. “Y-You have?” she stuttered.

He nodded, the very picture of misery. “But something would come up every single time I'd worked up the courage so I kept thinking that I should just wait for the next moment to come except that would get ruined too somehow and then I started wondering if you'd even say yes-”

“Yes,” she blurted out in a rush.

That stopped his rambling in its tracks, and when he lifted his head to finally meet her gaze his expression was one of confusion. “...What?”

“I would've said yes.” The lead weight in her stomach had turned into a swarm of agitated butterflies by then. “It wouldn't have mattered if you'd asked in a fancy restaurant or our living room; I would've said yes.”

Ever so slowly, the disbelief on his face turned into awed wonder. “You would?”

If she smiled any wider, she was sure she was going to pull a facial muscle she couldn't even pronounce. “Well, I obviously said yes while I was drunk as a skunk last night, didn't I?” she pointed out as she waved her left hand in the air.

The grey in his eyes gave way to blue as he started grinning teasingly at her. “In all fairness, you say a lot of crazy things when you're drunk.”

“Wh- I do not!”

“Oh really? What about that time you started claiming you were secretly an alien with superpowers?”

“T-That's a lie and you don't have any proof to back that up!”

“Sure about that? Because I think Winn recorded it so all we need to do is ask him...”

“Mike!” Blushing with a mixture of embarrassment and put-on anger, she smacked him but to no avail because that just made him laugh out loud. When she stepped up her efforts, he simply grabbed her wrists so that he could pin her to the bed and kiss her until she forgot why she had been mad at him.

She didn't, however, forget their overall situation.

“Let's get this marriage annulled,” she murmured when they had caught their breaths.

His eyes snapped wide open and he pulled away, stunned. “What? But I thought-”

“I meant it,” she insisted, wriggling one hand free of his now loose grip so that she could cup his face. “But I want it all done properly too. I want to actually have and remember every moment of getting married to you instead of it just being the result of some black-out drunk decision-making in Vegas.”

He smiled again, the happiness in his eyes brighter than the sun. “I want that too.”

It had seemed impossible and yet somehow she found herself even happier than she had been less than a minute ago. “Good.” She pulled him in for another kiss before playfully shoving him off. “Now get dressed. The sooner we get this marriage annulled, the sooner we can get married for real.”

(He proposed within the week and the wedding was a beautiful ceremony worth remembering from start to end.)

(Eve was naturally the maid of honour.)

[starryknightace]

I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

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Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

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