#i've got dave + rose + jade + dirk

[meraki-sunset]

This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.

Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.

I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.

Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:

1. Crow Strider

The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.

2. There's a Dave for everyone

THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.

3. More Davepeta

This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.

4. You made me like characters I didn't like

I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me

Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?

And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!

5. God tier Karkat

I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.

6. So many people got better, more extended arcs

Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.

7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????

Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works

8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender

I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.

10. YOUR ARTSTYLE

You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...

Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.

I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.

Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.

11. The plot

I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.

I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it

A few little things I didn't like that much

I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.

I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.

I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:

This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday

I cried.

This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.

I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person

Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:

Crow strider

It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.

Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue

2. A Dave for everyone

Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.

3. More Davepeta

They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them. 

4. The characters you didn’t use like

I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.

5. Godtier Karkat

I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.

As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it

Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.

What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.

6. Extended arcs

Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way

With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.

Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.

It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before

7. Unlikely ships

Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)

Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.

Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months

Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.

8. The topic of transgender

Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.

It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya

10. Art style

Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that

No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours

It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha

11. The plot

I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on

I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by

12. Things you didn’t like

I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.

I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project

The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.

13. Favorite pages

I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh

Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete

Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻

[shoegazingmonad]

Was reading Hussie's commentary and he brought up how establishing the way a character speaks allows you to explore the way they differentiate it or allow themselves to be influenced whenever they talk to certain characters e.g. Jade's language becoming more profane thanks to Karkat or Rose's silly interjections during Kanaya's rambles and I've been thinking about when that kind of fluidity shows with Ult Dirk.

Dirk's a character who already has a defined personality and way of talking so the sudden attitude change in the Epilogues makes it feel like a totally different guy is speaking. Without a good understanding of his splinters speech patterns (and what the 'Ultimate Self' means) Ult Dirk doesn't come across as a character with an inconsistent personality in conversations besides the obvious difference between Dirk in Homestuck and Dirk in the Epilogues, but he tends to imitate whatever splinter is closest / most familiar with the person he's conversing / interacting with.

He's overly verbose and misleading with Kanaya as the only splinter of his who knows her well is Doc Scratch, and he does act doc-esque with Rose too but more in a mentor sort of way. He forces Jake to acknowledge things he's aware of but is uncomfortable with confronting like Brain Ghost Dirk, and taunts or challenges him bitterly like Hal does. With Dave he's pretty set on leading him down the path of the warrior without consideration for how Dave feels about that or how invasive some of his behaviour is and oversteps Dave's boundaries for the sake of what he thinks is the best way to get things done like his Bro. There's also a little bit of Arquius' concerns for him because of his appreciation for Davepeta.

He's horribly Caliborn adjacent (thanks to Lord English + Lil Cal) whenever Alt Calliope's around which Alt Callie absolutely picks up on and frequently tells him so. He also views and treats John in the same way Caliborn does; as a blank slate protagonist for the audience. There's the silly obsession with Davekat too which leads him to making a lot of unnecessary comments about them.

There's many subtle switch ups in his behaviour which seem to happen frequently and subconciously and it's pretty funny? Though it feels kinda weird contemplating how that process works for him. Just got a tug of war over his own psyche going on at all times

[davepetacreates]

used to be, you and me, matching kawasaki z's, ride around 270 in kawasaki tees two fighter jets with matching energy, trying to forget that we're in ejection seats

dave leans back, sprawled on the couch. tonight is a night to relax and try not to remember. he's happy. he's happy. he's happy. he's got to remind himself of this fact. [that would be a red flag if he knew how to get in touch with his emotions at all.]

it's kind of funny, how fucked up he is... how fucked up it all is. how karkat stormed out the door, late one night, never came back. how downhill everything was from there. no one to bring him back up. old polaroids, ripped up, burned, flushed down the drain. he'll never get those memories back. and right now he doesn't want to. right now is the time to forget. or at least try not to remember. because he's happy right now.

jade is sound asleep in her bedroom, and he can hear her snoring from here, even over the (quieted) sounds of the television, which is currently playing an old superhero movie. the romance subplot makes his stomach churn a bit but it's sweet enough, he supposes. just reminds him too much.

a roll of thunder interrupts his thoughts, and he jumps, eyes darting as he sits up straight. it's safe, isn't it? he's all alone, in his apartment. calm down, dave. no one's there.

and then there's a knock on the door.

so he gets up, goes to open it. it's going to be fine. bro is dead, and dirk is with rose this weekend. it's not like anyone is going to hurt him.

he takes a look through the peephole, and it feels worse than if he'd been physically hurt.

that's karkat, back from the dead. how fucking dare he. the insolence. his first reaction is to cry, his second to yell, his third to open the door and slam it in karkat's face, his fourth to open the door and hug him, bawling. that's so uncool, but he doesn't care. karkat's alive. karkat's alive! karkat's alive.

he opens the door, tears in his eyes, no sunglasses, uncaring of the rain pouring down and soaking karkat's outfit as he pulls the shorter boy into a hug. karkat makes an oomph noise, hugging him back. "ack- strider- i'm all wet-"

"you're alive," dave says, in wonder. "i thought you'd died! gone off and committed suicide in the woods somewhere! holy hell, karkat, you're thin- come in, come in, i'll get you something."

the last time he saw karkat, the boy had been running from an abusive family, and dave accidentally said the wrong things. he has to do better. he has to work harder. he has to communicate right.

karkat hesitantly steps inside. "so, what brings you back here?" dave asks him, the air tense. "are you safe?"

"here i am," karkat grumbles. "the kid i moved in with when i left overdosed, and you were the first person i thought of to come to..."

"shit, that sucks. are you alright? want a hug or a talk or something, i guess?"

"wow, dave strider offering to talk about feelings? that's new. i never thought i'd see the fucking day," karkat snarks, and dave laughs.

"yeah, i've been... working on myself," dave admits, running a hand through his hair. "ever since you left, i realized i still had a lot to do about myself, and... well, thinking you were dead kinda made me realize my own mortality."

"i'm sorry i ran off like that," karkat says. "i know i was a fucking pissant back then, still haunts me. doesn't excuse what i did but hopefully it'll give you some closure..."

"yeah, that's fine..." dave doesn't know what to say. he just looks into karkat's eyes, and karkat looks back. "i missed you, dude."

"heh. missed you too, dave."

[yandere-monoma]

should i be insane and start the kill your masters commentary now

i am gonna be insane and start the kill your masters commentary now

hi this will contain spoilers for the killswitch au which imo is fine because i have no intentions of writing it in its entirety so HSJKFGFG

god. rose strider.

rosie rosie rosie rose strider UUUUUUGH.

fun fact i actually attempted to go off about all this weeks ago but tumblr deleted the fucking draft but now im drunk (or i was drunk when i started this at 1am and now its fuckin noon LMFAO) and trying again so LET'S GO!!!!

so. actually. my iteration of rose strider was first sparked after reading BGB by MermaidMayonaiise oh god bless tf out of them

like, guardianswaps is an ancient concept in the fandom so it's not like i've never considered her or any other strider kid before but GOD. this one line from BGB absolutely blasted through my soul:

You never knew her, but a Rose Strider would have been a killing machine. Considering the multiverse, she exists. Just not in any timeline that matters.

as i lovingly say in the comments of that fic, i literally copypasted that line to every hs friend i know. it drove me crazy

it'd still be a couple of weeks (months?) after reading that fic that i actually conceptualized her, though. rose strider was born via the homestuck renaissance chat which i will reference 6738459634563456 times in this commentary because killswitch would not exist without it. the renaissance chat went off with a million and one headcanons about a million and one different guardianswaps and my impulsive ass couldn't help but actualize them in some sort of written form, complete with ridiculous long ass plot and even a couple of sburb sessions that i'll never write cuz it'll take me years. like. the ideas were just so good.

ironically, our first official swap we discussed was actually john strider, who i hopefully will get to at least allude to in the next iteration of killswitch, along with dave lalonde (WHO I FUCKING LOVE AAAAA), jade egbert and rose harley... then we actually discussed jade before i finally revealed how insane i was about rose strider rose rose rose rose ROOOOOSE

from that first initial outline to the first chapter of kym, it took about two months of plotting and dragging through drafts which is CRAZY cuz it rly does feel like time has fucking flooown by. a lot of that time was also dedicated to the first installment of killswitch, which got interrupted because the third chapter of kyd got tragically deleted and i've never recovered and i only recently healed past the hurt enough to start to rewrite it. god. trauma.

anyway.

before i get to the first chapter, i wanted to talk about rose's initial concept as a strider and what it meant. as i've said 738596356 times already, nature vs nurture was how i approached every placement within the au. it was very important to me to blend every character with who they initially are in canon and who their guardian's influence turned them into. this made for an incredibly fun process that lent itself to a pretty easy formula characterization-wise.

for example, rose strider's excessively extreme experiences with self-harm are born of rose lalonde's early act 1 habit of engaging in empty suicide threats towards her mother. i took that tendency to act out and cranked that fucker up to 11 because there is nothing passive aggressive about how bro raised dave.

every killswitch character features this pairing blend approach to their writing. jake lalonde, for example, inherits roxy's hyperactive silly energy, though he lacks the grace, ease and confidence to carry it out without stumbling. however, rose is especially special because i wasn't just trying to blend rose and dave. because of rose's identity blurring motif, i had to build her up using elements of rose AND dave AND dirk AND, most importantly, bro. that made her, honestly, really fucking hard to write because i still wanted her to be recognizable enough, while still sounding like a carbon copy of bro, simultaneously perfect and flawed all at the same time. and, ngl, it's super interesting to me, the way she deviates from the formula and refuses to follow the easy pattern i followed for literally every other character in the au. it's just so fitting for her to fuck with the meta like that JSKFG

anyway LETS START READING

fucking with the commands was actually a last minute choice done right at the very final edit. so much of the narrative fuckery that happens in kym is very on the spot, lots of last minute decisions that start with the impulse of 'oh shit yknow what'd be cool' and end with a big ole internal ramble of what it could all ~represent~

in this case, i thought this was nifty, i've been using this same one fuckin glitch generator for YEARS at this point: but also, i think it was a fun way to allude to her classpect, even though it's never really discussed outright

yeah see this was actually supposed to be a description of her room but in the very last draft as i was cleaning it up i saw this section that i still had to write and went nope. JHSKFGSDFG which is hilarious to me because doing so literally transformed how i approached the rest of the piece. originally this chapter really was supposed to just be a pretty direct copypaste of act 1, but god. GOD i'm glad it isn't. i've had so much fun with this style and it's so amusing to me that i have laziness to thank for that JKGFG ah yes the creative process

facts about john harley and his first conversation with rose!!

i suck at chumhandles and enlisted help from the renaissance chat for a lot of them. other handle options suggested to me at the time include: garrulousGallivant, groovyGallywag, galleyGaffer, giddyGelogenic (this was in second place to me i rly loved it sob)

(rose's handle was incredibly easy in comparison, largely because i hardly put any effort into it. i just wanted something suitably edgy and what could be edgier than naming yourself after genocide HJGKF)

his initial character premise:

the hardest part about starting the fic where i did is that there was just so much imagined backstory for rose and so little time to actually get to detail with it. the purpose of the first few pesterlogs with john and jade was to establish something that honestly i don't think got as much spotlight in the fic as i would have wanted: the fact that rose strider is a compulsive liar who actually tries her hardest to seem normal to her friends, both out of habitual manipulation and out of a subconscious urge to escape her life. it's an attempt to sprinkle her with the void traits that she clings to at the beginning of her arc (guess what her classpect is >:3) before embracing what she really is, but damn. if i could have, i would've written 100k of cute casual conversation with rose seeming like the sweetest most thoughtful friend in the world, only to reveal what she's really like

anyway! we get to see her make up a life for herself first through john, as she lies about going to school when ngl i don't think she's been since like. idk. the 3rd grade. GJKFLGS

this is always an interesting pesterlog to reread remembering how much i fucked with rose's dialogue jesus christ. i did NOT want her to sound like herself in the rougher drafts. she was honestly just a straight up blend of bro and dave, very casual, very ramble-y, however at the last second, i incorporated a touch of her usual more formal vibe/dialogue. again, because i was blending four different characters rather than two, it was difficult to find a balance i really liked. i definitely got there eventually but. hoo.

ro-stri originally used to copy the punctuation of anyone she spoke to. there are still aspects of this in the current draft, rose plays along and sprinkles more exclamation points in than usual to match john's hyperactiveness despite the fact that she feels like roadkill atm. however, in the end, i thought it was a little too subtle and wanted her to have a more uniform sound to her, rather than disappearing into anyone she encountered.

john harley thinks the funniest possible thing to joke about in the world is the fact that he's pretty much a feral kid who has never touched humanity and thus doesnt know the most basic things. he does this 9356354963 times a day. he loves playing dumb. in truth he's experienced a Lot through movies but sometimes he simply cant resist the urge to pretend he doesnt know what a fork is. jsdkfgsfg he was such a delight to write, jesus christ.

despite rose's attempt to fade into the background a little, all of her friends depend on her massively to fill a hole in their lives, which she ends up using to further manipulate and control the topics of their conversations. for john, he's just so incredibly hungry for what life in the real world is like. so rose fabricates a normal school life for him. and she's not even doing that for him. it's completely coincidental that they both just desire the same thing of each other and ngl i really adore and am fascinated by their dynamic. johnrose fuckin sneaks up on me i SWEAR.

rose calling herself a bishounen is the first hint of her weird gender fuckery. it is a hilarious hint that i'm so very proud of cuz it's so dumb HAHAHJKFS

john's flirtiness towards rose is inherited by (epilogue) jade's sexual promiscuity and slight pushiness towards the people she's attracted to. it also just seemed like so much fun lmfao it rly snuck up on me as i was writing and i couldn't help but go all in once i realized what was happening. like, john really does just find one bad joke (usually at someone's expense) that he really likes and does it over and over and over and OVER cuz so much of the joy for him is knowing that he's the only one fucking laughing and that everyone in the vicinity wants to throttle him. but they can't :P

someone tell me why :B emojis are so cute. the very first time i went >:B as john harley i went oh no because i fell so hard at that point HAHA

jade lalonde!!

can you believe this is the first time i've ever written jade in my life jesus fucking christ

other chumhandle option: tipsyTurvey

rose's canon handle is a pun that fucking murders me every time i acknowledge it and i desperately wanted a cute pun for hers. i am bad at puns. i am so very bad at puns. telekineticTactoe is the first pun i've made in all my decades of living. i am so proud of her fucking handle jesus christ GHJFKGS

something that's fun but also agonizing about pesterlogs like these is, again, i don't really get the chance to explain things. so much show, so little tell, which works out great for the narrative but makes the part of my brain that built up so much of the world pout so much. so i never actually go into detail about the fact that the 'update' jade is working on is to a webcomic that she has picked up and abandoned 87593456 times. this is seen more in her later conversations but one of jade's whole shticks is that she has tens of thousands of hobbies and she can't commit to a single goddamn one. she is absolutely CRUSHED by how much she wants to have a perfectly successful career like her mom. everything she tries just isnt perfect enough and it frustrates her endlessly. she is so so very cute i love herrr

it is SO fun discussing the lalonde issue through someone who is earnest and honest about their feelings and who airs them out the second they feel them. it's so fun to interpret some of the issues rose perhaps had with her mother, while also just poking at issues i think would have just. always bothered jade because of the type of person she is. she is going to be an incredibly fun perspective to write through the rest of the au and i rly hope i can figure out a way to focus a fic on one of her iterations one day

jade having a having a habit of traumadumping and rambling was supposed to be a play on just how excessively wordy rose can be. idk how much that shows (people associate rambling way more with dave imo) but either way it was super fun to write

rose's manipulative streaks are more obvious here. jade is incredibly vulnerable and rose jumps at the opportunity to attempt to further isolate and pit her against her mother. she's doing that completely out of habit, too. she has no malicious plan behind it all, it passes the time and it keeps jade close and that's really all she wants. she can see the way jade suffers under the weight of her work and she makes up her own stressful worklife, just so that jade can relate to her more than she can relate to the others.

DAVE FUCKIN EGBERT LET'S GOOO

the first words uttered about dave eggy in the gc:

and what his character ultimately turned into:

there is so much to say about dave i love him i love him i love him let's gOoooOooOOo

first off, i wanna explain why he's an egbert rather than a lalonde, since swapping the strilondes is way more common:

dave lalonde would have taken up too much screentime which would not have worked for the fic/verse. he is. god. an INCREDIBLE and fascinating specimen that i need to specifically write 100k about and pairing him with someone like ro-stri would just be a disservice to either of their stories. they simply can not exist together in a way that i would find narratively satisfying because they both just take up too much SPACE. GOD!!!

dave egbert is just cuter LMAO.

i am a dirty dirty multishipper and making him an egbert means i get a version of johndave and a version of daverose all at the same time

(and this doesnt even also allude to the fact that john strider and dave lalonde are also a hugely amusing dynamic like i rly needed the homophobic af angy boy paired with the darling excitable lil femboy ok

but really, my approach to dave is this: as much fun as tragic backstories are, sometimes a really fascinating narrative can be watching someone getting actively traumatized in the present for the very first time. being a bystander to someone you love's suffering, the survivor's guilt of not being the abused one, the overwhelming stress of being someone's sole confidant, the way it feels to be crushed by codependency and forced to witness unrelenting suffering when you are so woefully unprepared to provide proper support. dave just being a normal boy in an incredibly toxic relationship with his first love is just. GOD. so fun to me. so so fun it's honestly one of my fave decisions coming into the fic

there's also something to said about the fact that dave finally gets to experience normalcy and familial love at the expense of his sister taking his role in the narrative. there is a point in the au where the killswitch characters (who i also refer to as the 'zeta' kids) are made aware of their canon counterparts and thinking about what dave eggy will think about dave strider is SO exciting to me

anyway, again: this was a hard pesterlog to incorporate. i needed a quick summary of their dynamic and a quick summary of both of their characterizations: dave egbert being dryer, quieter, more withdrawn and blunt with his words, rose strider being abrasive and quick to anger and almost sadistically playful in the way she immediately seeks to tease and degrade her boyfriend. i also needed to show this without making rose the most unlikeable character this side of homestuck HGJKFGGS. fun fact, so much of how they talk to each other and exist in general is based on the fact that i think both of them just, like. fuckin LIVE on 4chan. rose is a 4chan troll while dave is just, like, a lurker. and i do wish i could have showed that more and showed even more of both the cruller kinds of dialogue rose can dish out and the more weird/fond/playful parts of their dynamic, because to me rose is the type to just constantly drop slurs and insult people and speak in a way that's designed to shock and horrify people and dave was her punching bag as much as he's her stuffed animal, and he's just so in love with all the ways she overwhelms him. he has so much fun trying to just desperately keep up with her and it all just creates this intense atmosphere that he's absolutely addicted to.

like, it's tragic that her talking like this never shows up in the fic itself but alas. alas, alack...

anyway

HOW CAN I FORGET HOW FUNNY DAVE'S HANDLE IS TO ME dave making his whole personality around himself being a npc is so funny to me ok godhjskfg

There is no excusing what must have occurred the previous evening, but there’s no point trying to contend with what happened. 

considering 'what happened yesterday' is a big huge plot point in chapter 2 i'll leave it to the chapter 2 discussion but just know that this is one of my fave part's of rose's characterization that i ALSO mourn its lack of focus in the fic. i think it's present enough but UGH i wish i got to write it so much MOOOORE, DAMN!

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

there were so many versions of this line and this introduction in general HJGKFGS happy with what i settled with

this section was hard because, again, had to quickly establish all the things i wish i could have spent time just slowly building up. i do enjoy how the final product looks, though. one of my favorite styles to utilize is a very compact, slightly minimalistic type of prose that leans

lil cal as a corrupting force is one of my fave hs things in the world it drives me insane to think about, so it was incredibly fun deciding that this was one of the biggest and most important differences between dave and rose is that dave fucking hates lil cal but ro-stri is not scared of puppets :D she loves them :D

When you sleep, if you sleep, your gaze never breaks from his, and you spend your nightmares drowning,

rose having an eternal staring contest with dream cal amuses the hell out of me especially thinking about dave going to derse just to watch in horror. it's also another aspect of that internal soul flaying she keeps forcing herself through, trying to create a perfect ouroboros between herself and what bro has been turned into. trying to fuckin speedrun through her own corruption

gurgles blood.

this next section about all the ways rose attempts to cope with her trauma was so nervewracking to publish. a lot of parts of this fic was but jesus christ. was really worried i'd get flack for a few of the ideas that got tossed out there, but i couldn't remove them even despite that anxiety. there is such a specific vibe to the 00's that i really wanted to incorporate into the fic... just, how it felt to be an absolutely insane teenager, always overwhelmed, constantly abused, and gifted with unadulterated unsupervised internet access to do terrible AWFUL things to. i wanted to depict it because it's what i relate to, what i've experienced, what i've seen and heard from others.

it's also just generally rly important to me to sprinkle darkweb references into as many of my strider fics as fucking possible cuz i know those boys LIVE on it LMFAOHJGKFG

In reality, you have no hobbies your brother hasn’t given you.

short but important: the fact that rose just does not get the opportunity to start creating her own personality like dave does was very important for me to highlight, though it's also not necessarily true. since the narration is filtered through rose's perspective, and rose is the one that is so adamant (especially at this part of the story) that she is a perfect clone of her brother, she skips past the experiences she has where she's strayed from bro's influence.

the end of this chapter was a very fun escalation that i'm very satisfied with. ahh, my killing machine 🥰❣️ how i adore you... now that i think about it, i forgot that originally i really did just want to make a quick oneshot summarizing all of my thoughts on her. as i was writing, the ideas got bigger and bigger, the hcs spiraled more and then my friends in the chat [shakes fist] dropped a huge BOMB of a plotline right into my lap that forced me to extend it way past its original plan but ughsjfgdfg i'm so glad that they did because this is a story that i'm so incredibly proud of godddjksfg

AND THAT'S CHAPTER ONE, STAY TUNED FOR MORE

[disabled-stuck]

idk if this counts as a request but! i’m curious to hear your headcanons for different characters! like what disabilities they have and whatnot !!

YESSS ok!!!

so i haven't really had much time 2 develop headcanons/don't really have the most solid hcs but!

i think june is an ambulatory wheelchair user who has a cane on better days. she's got chronic pain, and flying sometimes helps with soothing that too! i think june's gender-fluid and agender and just picks gender based on how she feels!

rose has arthritis, i don't know enough about the kinds to pick one specifically but!

i think dave's definitely disabled but i cannot pick any specific one. he is disabled and bigender in my heart and soul

I FEEL LIKE IM JUST DUMPING A WHOLE LIST AT YOU BUT. jade is narcoleptic (i mean that one was canon for a bit but. whatever)! she also has bec as an unofficial therapy dog, i think they would like training him in her free time and would have taught him some therapy dog stuff based on online resources

ARADIA CHRONIC FATIGUE. that's one that i'm pretty solid on actually.

this one isn't a headcanon but tavros wheelchair user. maybe ambulatory, maybe not, but i see art of him with no wheelchair so much it's a bit :/.

nepeta has POTS, and vrisrezi have their canon disabilities! i dont have any specific hcs for vrisrezi

someone asked for karkat with a BTE hearing aide a little while ago and i really like that HC (i think it is in the queue) so that 2!

i think dirk would also have arthritis which makes working on his mechanics stuff a bit difficult sometimes, hence his gloves, and occasionally he asks for jakes help with especially difficult things.

in my mind roxy has chronic illness. once again idk which one! but

jane POTS too.

my HCs change all the time because i'll forget them or change my mind or something but shrug. this is what i've got for now!

[shhisp]

1.I read your hc about Alpha Kids education and I wonder how much of Grandma English not telling Jake about HIC was because she thought she still had more time. Like he was still very little when she died. But at the same time for me it makes Jake look very sharp that he managed to survive on that island. Buuut yeah, he wouldn't survive normal school (mood).

2. Im really curious if you have hc about Jake relationship with Jade? I'm still sad that them being penpals and clearly friends for years was ignored in Homestuck. They build murderbunny together! Best bonding time ever. Plus I bet that Dirk was veeeeeery jealous that Jake build a ROBOT with SOMEONE ELSE for SOMEONE ELSE.

1. I do think she told him ENOUGH about HIC that, like, he got a helping of generational trauma from both Condy and LE which I love because angst. I do think she would've told him more, though, when he was... you know, older. But I can just as easily see her not going into true graphic detail about the stuff she used to experience. You have Jake remembering vividly about her mother killing her dog, but she told of a more "fantastical" tale despite that detail, curiously enough. Jade has so much she just builds up inside of her that I don't think she'd ever say enough to make Jake feel as truly devastated as she knew he probably would. I imagine she told him about Bec first and foremost, which had Jake spiraling, the poor boy. She tried to tell him what she could without breaking his heart ):

2. I could probably talk about Jade and Jake and their relationship together for fucking ages and all the different dynamics, because imo there's an infinite amount of ways I handle them in my head! In which case I'll probably go into my favorite platonic dynamic for them post-game, which I've done a LOT of thinking over since 2017.

Platonic route aside I love Dirk being jealous of Jade anyway. Jake clearly went to his grandma first and foremost as his main source of comfort after such a traumatizing game and a messy breakup with a hint of sexual assault to boot, and this is more or less Hussie-confirmed! In the epilogues, out of all the direct pairs (John and Jane, Dave and Dirk, Rose and Roxy), Jade and Jake seem to be the absolute closest with each other! And the umm. Well the whole Harlenglish annual orgy thing which is....... MOVING ON!

I think she always ends up seeing him as more of her grandson than she does her grandpa, especially since they know each other as kids and all! Jake, though, just naturally seems to fit into the role of soft submissive boy raised by an awesome woman trope. He greatly idolizes her, just like he canonically does John, who I imagine he saw as more of a "Poppop" than Jane did, seeing as everything Jade told him about dear old John! It's honestly so adorable I could cry! Jake loves his family to bits and pieces and it's so... SO very wholesome.

I have my own ideas about how John would see Dirkjake working out ("EB: how can a black eye be consensual??") but Jade I think definitely Gets It more than anyone. That being said she is so horribly hard on Dirk anyway. That's her baby boy her grandpa her grandson her BROTHER!!! and she will aim a gun at him if he does something fucking stupid (and he does that a lot, I think.) Dirk however respects her to hell and back and he's like. Alright. If my boyfriend's grandma tells me to kill myself I'm gonna respect her wishes, because she's right. A lot of mutual respect remains between them all the same, imo, especially when their main goal is to just see Jake happy. I love them getting closer and starting to talk about their shared interests more than life itself as the years go by.

The conversation when he calls Jade about wanting to get out of his relationship in the candy route is one of my favorite parts between them and says sooooooo much, even if we didn't get it in canon Homestuck proper. He trusts her more than even Roxy, at that point, and that personally says so much to me. Ugh I love them. Even when they're only cousins in some AUs I make, they're always two peas in a pod that almost always share the same bed when they can.

I have some other ideas of course that would be better suited for another post, and some particular details for Grandpa and Jade and Grandma and Jake (likewise, very specific circumstances) but this is how I like to write their relationship in almost every regard. Jane doesn't strike me as very protective at all, much as I love her, but Jade and Jake will defend each other to the ends of the Earth. Jake basically threatened Dave in candy for not giving her a child, imagine if he BROKE HER HEART!!!

Harlenglishes 4ever. I would do anything for more content of them together. 😭

[aluria-sevhex]

god-tier Jade would win due to being a god so I'm not considering that, pre-entry Jade would get saved by Bec

if we're assuming no outside help then if Basil snuck up on her then yeah but she has a gun

HOWEVER, it specifies hand-to-hand combat. Jade would fight very hard but i'm leaning towards Basil, especially if he's stronger through the power of a big damn panic attack like the Basil fight, which let's be real is probably what was needed to make him decide to fight instead of trying to flee.

I don't think either of them would be physically weak because they both do a lot of gardening, but Jade is better with a gun or at least from a range so hand-to-hand puts her at a disadvantage.

If they're talking during the fight Jade could try psychological warfare to weaken him due to Basil's mental state but it has a high risk of backfiring.

I've been assuming a 13-year-old Jade and 16-year-old Basil so Basil theoretically could have a size advantage but we don't know how tall Jade is and Basil is on the shorter side.

in order to get a scenario where they're fighting in the first place, they're probably also more confined to prevent Basil from fleeing.

what even defines winning here, anyway? is it to-the-death? until one gets KO'd?

personally i vote that both of them are going to the hospital. Jade has a massive advantage and Basil might wanna go for her glasses. I wouldn't put it past her to give Basil an eye injury to match Sunny's. Rose and Sunny are practicing the occult in the corner. Aubrey and Dave gave them lessons to prep beforehand and wincing as they forget what to do. Kel is trying to find a funny way to inform John that he might be depressed and John is trying to find a funny way to avoid thinking about his own mental health. Dirk and Jake walk into the arena and do their own fucked-up thing on the side. Roxy is drunkenly cheering them on. Jane is waiting for the other shoe to drop while trying to convert the Omori cast to Betty Crocker. She fails because they got raised on Mari's baking. Mari is trying to fix the Alpha Trolls' problems.

Hero walks in and has a heart attack on the spot.

[arsenictictacs]

time to horribly explain more hs characters

tavros crippling cripple

gamzee the incarnate of FUCKER

terezi she speak methemetic (with NUMBERS.)

vriska she's got absolutely NOTHING going on with her. she is the embodiment of dipshit because i say so june trans egbert. the cooler egbert even

jade NOT egbert but she's the most fashion addicted gal i've ever seen she has a device DEDICATED to customizing the symbol on her shirt rose edgelord AND ONTO POST SCRATCH jake male tomb raider, technically??? dirk so basically dirk is dave's older bro but the turns are tabled and now dave's dirks older brother im not fucking explaining this shit

roxy isn't this the name of a fnaf character? uh,mmm fnaf stole homestuck!!>!>!>!>!>!??!?!?!

jane crocker. like mr crocker? from fairy odd parents

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homestuck Fic (2019/12/23)

"You want to play what?" Karkat questioned in disbelief, arms crossed as he narrowed his eyes at Roxy. 

It was a couple days before Christmas, everyone was hanging out in John's backyard as usual. After knowing each other for so long, it became routine when it came to hanging out at each other's houses, they had a rotation with a couple exceptions (such as Dave and Dirk's house, Vriska's house and Gamzee's house). 

Roxy nodded enthusiastically, a hat filled with paper in her hand. "We'll each take a card and then have to buy a gift for that person, it'll be fun!"

"Um...I-I dunno...that sounds like a lot of pressure..." Tavros swallowed hard. Vriska was sat on his lap and had her arms around his neck. She scoffed. 

"Don't be such a coward Tavros, it'll be fun. Who knows, maybe you'll luck out and not have to buy me something, which would be good for me to since we both know you'll get it wrong." She smiled.

Sometimes nobody knew why Tavros and Vriska even stuck together, their relationship was barely working.

"I say let's do it, come on we're all friends, no matter who we get this will be easy." Aradia said confidently from her place next to Sollux. Most of the friends were sat on the grass, with the exceptions of Tavros (who was in his wheelchair) and Rose and Kanaya who had taken the one bench set up.

"Can we trade with each other?" Nepeta questioned.

Roxy shook her head. "No! The whole point is that  we put thought into each other's gifts, as a way of showing how much we mean to each other you know? Then on Christmas we can all give each other our gifts." She grinned.

"Sure why not?" John shrugged.

"Sounds like fun." Jade smiled.

Many seemed a bit reluctant to do it, but as the others stepped forward to take a paper everyone found themselves doing the same.

"Remember, no telling each other who you got." Roxy giggled and looked at who she got. She squealed a little.

"Um, I can't read mine." Terezi spoke up awkwardly.

Karkat grunted. "Can I tell Terezi who she got?"

"Fine, but whisper it, if you can." Roxy joked, earning a glare from Karkat.

He quickly looked at who Terezi got and whispered it in her ear, she smiled a little mischievously. "Got it."

"Alright everyone, good luck finding a gift for your secret Santa." Roxy winked.

But as everyone continued thinking of ideas for each other, they realized they were going to need all the luck they could get.

~~~

"I am so screwed." Dirk commented, he and Jane were drinking coffee at a cafe.

She smiled in amusement and sipped her drink. "And why is that?"

"I got about the only person who I have literally no clue what to buy for. I- like, okay, I'm, this is not my, I'm not meant for this kind of party game." He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

Jane snickered. "You mean a game where you have to think about other people."

"Exactly."

"Look it's not hard, if you're that stuck then just try talking to them, learn about them." Jane shrugged.

Dirk sighed heavily. "That sounds like the worst time ever."

"If it makes you feel better, I got the absolute worst person too. I have no clue what to get them." She told him.

"Trust me, whoever you have isn't as bad as who I got. I guess I should get going now, only got couple days to do this. Later Jane." He placed enough money down for his drink and Jane's before heading out of the cafe.

The moment Dirk was out, Jane took out her phone and dialed a number. "HELP ME!" She hissed into her phone.

"Something wrong Janey?" Roxy asked over the phone.

"I have no idea what to get the person I got and I've gotta get help." She said desperatly.

Roxy sighed. "I'm sorry Janey, you'll just have to think about it on your own. I can't help you. Ttyl." She hung up.

Jane groaned and sunk into her seat.

What the hell was she suppose to get Dirk?

~~~

Dirk entered the house to see Dave on top of Karkat making out on the couch. "Whoa Jesus, uh, should I like, come back later?" The two immedientally broke apart when he spoke, both looking like they just had heart attacks.

They quickly scrambled off the couch and Dave tried his best to look casual. "Hey...bro..."

"...Really...we're gonna pretend that you two weren't going at it, on the couch, in the middle of the day." Dirk commented.

"Wow look at me leaving now." Karkat yanked up his sweater to cover the painfully obvious hickey marks forming on his skin and rushed out the front door past Dirk as quickly as possible.

Dirk snorted "Smooth."

"Look I'm sorry, I would've warned you but I didn't know when Bro would get back, I had to take the chance." Dave sighed.

"Welp, you walked in once on Jake and I actually doing it on the couch, so I guess we'll call it even." Dirk commented, Dave shuddered in horror at the memory.

Dirk huffed and sat down at the table. "You gotta help me, I don't know what to do about my secret Santa."

"Just buy 'em whatever." Dave shrugged.

"I can't. This one...is important." Dirk explained.

Dave paused. "...Who is it?"

"Can't say, Roxy would kill me."

"Fair enough. My task feels impossible too, and it's also super weird." Dave told him, putting his hands in his pockets.

Dirk scoffed. "Believe me, I get it."

"This was sort of a shitty idea." Dave commented.

"Yup."

Be even so, neither wanted to disappoint Roxy, or their secret Santa; it wouldn't be right.

Dave headed off to his room and Dirk whipped out his phone and opened a notepad on it. He wrote down things he somewhat knew his secret Santa liked.

After a couple minutes of silence he groaned in frustration.

~~~

"Wow, this looks great!" John beamed at his creation.

Kanaya nodded. "It does...what is it?" John rolled his eyes and face planted into the desk, covering his face with his arms. 

"It's suppose to be a skirt." He snapped.

"...Forgive me John, but I don't believe skirts have sleeves." Kanaya commented.

John scowled. "I don't know what happened! Sewing machines are stupid!" 

"Don't blame the machine when the creator is clearly at fault." She told him stiffly, a tad offended he made fun of her sewing device.

"Look I'm sorry Kanaya, this is literally my first time ever even touching a sewing machine. I don't know how to make a skirt." He sighed.

Kanaya bit her lip before sighing softly. John's eyes widened as she sat down super close to him, their legs pressed together and shoulders brushing. "Explain your vision, I will take care of it."

A grin formed on John's face as he explained his design. Kanaya immedientally to work and unlike John, she not only was able to make it but she made it quickly.

"Wow, that was awesome." He told her when she finished. She handed the skirt to him with a small smile.

"If you wouldn't mind John, I have to decide on a gift for the person I got." She told him.

John took the hint and left her house immedientally.

The moment he left Kanaya got to work on her gift, she had an idea of what she wanted to give she just didn't know how to make it.

~~~

"It's so cute watching them all struggle." Eridan smirked, his arm around Feferi's waist.

She giggled lightly. They were at her house cuddling by the fireplace. "We got lucky. I knew from the moment I saw who I got what I wanted to give them."

"For a split second I was a tad nervous, but then I realized how simple mine actually was." Eridan told her.

"Still, I feel a bit bad for everyone else. Equius, Sollux and Tavros have already called asking for help." Feferi said.

Eridan scoffed. "We're not suppose to help each other."

"Exactly. So what'd you get me for Christmas?" She asked with a grin.

"We did secret Santa so we didn't have to buy each other gifts, do you honestly think I went out of my way to purchase you anything?" Eridan snapped.

Feferi gave him a knowing smile. "Eridan."

"Okay I may have bought you one thing," He admitted taking a small box but long box out of his pocket, he handed it to her.

She opened it and beamed. "Oh Eridan...it's beautiful." It was a silver necklace with the Pisces and Aquarius symbols on it.

"It better be. Had it specially ordered, just for you my dear." He smiled, looking very proud of himself.

Feferi kissed his cheek and slipped the necklace on. "I love it."

"Of course you do." He smirked.

~~~

 Nepeta swung on the swing at the park sadly, staring at the ground. "Why are you so depressed?" Equius asked calmly from the swing next to her, but he wasn't actually swinging.

"...I...I just really wanted to get Karkitty for secret Santa you know?" Nepeta told him sadly.

Equius scowled. He didn't blame Karkat, he couldn't, not when he knew Karkat liked boys, that was out of his control.

But he just...wished it didn't hurt Nepeta so badly.

"Am I stupid fur thinking I ever had a chance?" Nepeta asked with watery eyes.

"No, of course not...Nepeta, if I could make Karkat love you I'd do it in a heartbeat." He sighed.

Nepeta's eyes widened. "You would?"

"...Yes...even if he tears me apart inside." Equius told her simply before getting up and walking away, he couldn't face her, he wasn't strong enough, not yet.

~~~

"Okay you worthless pieces of trash, don't worry Karkat when I'm talking about you I mean it with love," Vriska winked at him and Karkat scowled. "Let's get this secret Santa shit over with."

It was Christmas day, and everyone was over at Karkat's house for it. The living room was a tad small but they all sit fit relatively well.

"Who's gonna start?" John questioned.

Roxy grinned. "I'll decide!!!" She jumped up. "Okay...I'll start!" Nobody was surprised.

They watched as she picked up her gift and rushed over to Terezi. "Merry Christmas from your secret Santa Terezi!" She handed it over.

Terezi smiled a little as she took the gift, feeling around it and unwrapping the paper, she turned her head to look at John.

"Scented markers..." John smiled a little.

"I thought you could mark stuff with them, so that you'll know what and where they are! There's 50 different colors." Roxy told her excitedly.

Terezi grinned, showing off her weirdly sharp teeth. "Thanks Roxy. Should I go next?"

"Sure why not?" Roxy smiled.

Slowly Terezi stood up and held up her present, smiling sheepishly. "Babe where's Kanaya?" John took her elbow and carefully lead her around the room over to Kanaya.

"You're my secret Santa?" Kanaya questioned calmly.

"Try not to be too disappointed." She teased, handing over the gift.

Kanaya unwrapped it and her eyes widened. "A-A signed copy of Twilight!?"

"Oh god." Karkat face palmed.

Rose smirked a little. "My my, what a nice gift."

"Not gonna lie, it was really hard to think of something you'd like...but it was worth the effort." Terezi grinned.

"Thank you." Kanaya smiled softly and hugged her.

Terezi sat back down along with John and Kanaya took her gift out and stood up. She went over to Aradia.

"Ooh!" Aradia grinned, taking it from her quickly. She unwrapped it and gasped. It was a safari hat and it had her zodiac symbol on it. 

"I thought you could wear it when you go adventuring next." Kanaya told her simply.

Aradia hugged her and then sat back down. "I love it, thank you." She quickly put it on and looked at Sollux. "What do you think?"

Sollux smirked. "Sexy as always." He pressed a kiss to her neck, making her giggle.

"BLEH!" Karkat gagged obnoxiously, making them look at him. "Yeah hear me?" He did it again.

"Fuck off KK." Sollux stuck his tongue out childishly.

Aradia sighed. "Anyways, it's my turn. Tavros..." She grinned.

"O-Oh?" Tavros' eyes widened as Aradia gestured to the giant gift.

Hesitantly he unwrapped it and opened the box, he gasped.

It was a new wheelchair, and it looked like it was incredibly good quality too.

"It's the best one I could find, it should be much easier to turn and stuff." Aradia explained.

Tavros looked ready to cry. "...Thank you Aradia...please come here so I can hug you..." She giggled softly and went over to hug him gently.

"Okay that's enough." Vriska said when their hug lasted for more than half a second. They broke apart and Aradia sat back down.

"Um...okay...uh...h-here I guess..." Tavros said awkwardly, handing a box to Dave.

Dave smiled. "Aw shucks." He opened it and his eyes widened behind his shades.

"Y-You said your bro kinda trashed your old one?...well uh, now you have a new one..." Tavros explained nervously.

It was a camera, and a really fancy one at that. It was black and had a very good lens. 

"I didn't actually know if uh, you even liked taking pictures anymore? And when I realized I had no idea I felt really bad cause uh, I should probably know something like that and uh...yeah..." He trailed off awkwardly.

Dave bit his lip and seemed to swallow hard before looking at Tavros. "...Thank you, Tavros. Seriously." 

Tavros let out a breath of relief when he realized Dave was pleased with the gift.

"Alright uh, shit man, this is sort of super weird, but uh..." Dave looked at Sollux awkwardly.

Karkat snorted and covered his mouth. "Oh wow."

It wasn't a secret that Karkat and Sollux use to date, everybody knew it. The only reason they even broke up is because Sollux fell for Aradia. But it was partially thanks to comforting Karkat after the break up that he and Dave are together now so... 

Yay?

"Let's get this over with." Sollux deadpanned.

"Sounds good." Dave nodded and quickly handed him a paper.

Sollux looked it over and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You bought me a tree?"

"A tree with a giant beehive in it. You're always saying how bees relax you and how you like time to yourself, well if you're hanging out at that tree then nobodies gonna bug you out of fear of being stung. Thought it could be like your place to go chill when you need to." Dave explained.

At the explanation, a smile started forming on Sollux's lips. "Wow, shit, that's really fucking thoughtful."

"Heh, what can I say, I'm awesome." Dave smirked.

Karkat rolled his eyes at that but didn't say anything.

"It's Christmas what the hell, come on." Sollux opened his arms. Dave shrugged with a smile and hugged him. 

"Gaaaaaayyyy." Vriska whispered loudly, making some of the others laugh.

"Merry Christmas dude." He smiled, Sollux smirked a little at that and broke their hug.

Dave went and sat back down and Sollux went next. "I'll keep this brief. My gift to you John is programming lessons, you're always saying how interested you are but you fucking suck, I mean you're like awful. So Merry Christmas."

"...Thanks?" John said with narrowed eyes, then shook his head. "Feferi...here..." He practically shoved the gift into Feferi's hands.

Feferi smiled and opened it, her eyes widened. It was a purple and orange skirt, and it had her sign on it. "Oh John, it's beautiful."

"Why the fuck are you buying my girl a skirt?" Eridan snapped.

"Because I don't know how to shop for a girl." He deadpanned.

Terezi smirked. "True story, once he bought me binoculars."

Everyone stared at John in disbelief, he flushed red.

"I didn't think it through..."

Feferi giggled and spoke up. "My turn. Here Vriska." Vriska's eyes widened and she smirking, taking the small box from Feferi.

She opened it stared at the gift in confusion, then raised an eyebrow. "Oh...a key..."

"A key to my house, or, our house." Feferi smiled.

"What?" Vriska frowned.

"You're always complaining that you don't have the money to move out of your house and...I-I'm tired of seeing the bruises you have the next day after a fight with your mom. So...I want you to live with me."

Vriska's eyes widened, her mouth fell open a little. "...Wow..."

Everyone stared at them with wide eyes.

"Way to make our gifts look fucking awful Feferi." Sollux commented.

Feferi giggled at that. "...So?" She asked hesitantly.

"...My mom's gonna kill me." Vriska chuckled.

Her eyes widened. "Is that a yes?"

She smirked. "Yeah sure, why not? If you're that desperate for company." Feferi beamed and hugged her tightly, and after a moment Vriska returned the hug.

Vriska sighed. "Okay okay enough mushy crap. Nepeta, Merry Christmas." She smirked.

"Oh god." Equius cringed, feeling very concerned at whatever Nepeta was about to get.

They all watched as Vriska went over to Karkat and mumbled something to him, Karkat hissed something back quietly and they argued like that for a moment before Vriska finally exclaimed loudly. "DO IT!" She hissed.

Karkat reluctantly got up and went over to Nepeta. "...Look Nepeta, I know how you feel about me...and I can't return those feelings, I'm sorry. But...here." Nepeta's eyes widened as Karkat placed his lips over hers. Everyone's jaws dropped.

Nepeta flushed red, eyes sparkling.

He broke the kiss and smiled a little. "Now you can say your first kiss was me, that's what you always wanted right?"

"...Thank you..." Nepeta teared up a little, hugging him tightly. Karkat returned the hug gently. Even if they couldn't be together, at least she got the kiss she always dreamed of, that was enough.

"What the fuck?" Equius snapped.

"Uh yeah right there with you." Dave scowled.

Nepeta was still beaming as she went over to Jade, carrying her gift carefully. "Here you go, be careful."

Jade hesitantly opened the box and gasped as a tiny black puppy jumped out, wagging its tail like crazy. "Oh my god."

"It's so cute..." Roxy gushed.

"This way Bec will have company." Nepeta grinned.

Jade giggled as the puppy licked her face. "Oh my gosh thank you Nepeta, he's adorable."

She gently sat the puppy down and it started playing with the wrapping paper on the floor.

"Okay, my turn. Equius. You're always wishing you had more to share with Nepeta. So as your gift, I'm gonna teach you hopscotch." Everyone's eyes widened.

"YEAHHHH!" Equius exclaimed...happily?

He had a smile on his face. "I WILL MASTER THIS CAME FOR NEPETA!" Nepeta stared with wide eyes.

When Equius calmed down, he gave Rose his gift. Enjoy."

Rose stared at the photo Equius handed her with a blank face, making everyone confused.

Slowly she started blushing, making them even more confused.

"What is it?" Kanaya frowned.

A ghost of a smile formed on Rose's lips. "Just something for me to enjoy."

Vriska glanced over at the picture and snorted. "Oh wow, that's a treat."

Aradia looked over to and snickered. "Oh, a treat it is."

"What is it?" Kanaya pouted when Rose held it away from her.

"Merry Christmas." Equius told her calmly.

Rose smiled. "Merry Christmas. Now then, Jane." Jane's eyes widened as Rose handed her a bag.

She took out the tissue paper and looked inside, gasping.

It was cookie cutters, one shaped  like each of them.

"This way you can think of us when you're baking." Rose smiled.

"Oh my gosh these are so cute." Jane grinned, taking out the cutter shaped like Tavros.

While the two were talking, Kanaya took the picture from rose quickly. Her face flushed red and her jaw dropped.

It was a picture of her, but she was laid on a bed completely naked, looking at the camera seductively.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Kanaya hissed in embarrassment.

"How did you even make that?" Feferi questioned with amusement.

"Lots of photo shop." Equius explained.

Nepeta frowned. "But you know nothing about that."

They all looked at Dave.

"Fuck no, that's weird." Dave shuddered at the thought of making something like that for his cousin.

Sollux rolled his eyes. "For fucks sake I made it."

"Impressive." Aradia told him.

"Okay, my turn," Jane spoke up, making them all look at her. She took a deep breath and looked at Dirk. "I...had no idea what to get you...I thought about it for a long time...and I realized I didn't know you as well as I wanted too...and that made me really sad...but then I thought 'what is the most important thing in the world to Dirk?' and well..." Jane held out a small box.

Dirk took it hesitantly and opened it, staring at it silently. "...A necklace?"

Jane giggled. "A locket," She corrected. "Open it."

He opened it like she said and his eyes widened behind his shades. One of the photos was of him, Jake, Jane and Roxy grinning, and the other was of him and Dave smiling.

"You care about all of us...but I know you care about us especially...we've known each other all our lives...I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you cared till now." Jane told him softly.

Jake teared up. "Where is the tissues!?" Vriska chucked the box at him hard, but he didn't care about the pain and wiped at his  eyes.

The locket was gold and shaped like a heart. Letting out a shaky breath, Dirk spoke. "...Wow...thanks, Crocker."

Jane smiled softly as Dirk put the necklace on and then put it behind his tank top. She would bet money that he'll never take it off unless he has too.

"Okay uh, shit, I guess I'm up...god..." Dirk took a deep breath before looking at Karkat. "Sorry in advance if you hate it."

Karkat's eyes widened. He hesitantly took the box from Dirk and opened it, his face turned sour. "...A pair of shades?"

"Strider's have shades, we all do. Even Roxy and Rose who are only our cousins each own a pair, even though they never wear them." Dirk explained.

He frowned. "...Why did you give me this?"

"...All Strider's have shades...and I know that's gonna include you someday." Dirk smiling knowingly as he looked at Dave and Karkat.

Karkat blinked, and slowly the implications of the gift registered in his mind

He flushed bright red. "HOLY SHIT-"

"Wow uh, that's no fucking pressure at all-" Dave stuttered, going red himself.

Dirk held back a chuckle as the two tried to collect themselves.

"Well fuck, my gift is totally lame now, but uh, here. Merry fucking Christmas." Karkat shoved the gift into Roxy's hands.

She beamed and opened it quickly, eyes widening.

It was a scrapbook, every page was filled with photos of them all hanging out, some including all of them and then a bunch of different groups of them.

"You're always bringing us together for shit like this...so you deserve to have the most memories of us." Karkat told her in a grumble.

A tear slid down Roxy's cheek and Karkat paled.

"Holy fuck no-" Roxy hugged him tightly as she cried.

"SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!" Karkat shrieked as she cried harder. 

Everyone just smiled and watched them silently, despite Karkat's cries for help.

"This is the best gift I've ever gotten." Roxy sniffed, smiling brightly as tears rolled down her face. "Thank you so much." Without warning she pressed a kiss to Karkat's cheek, making his eyes widen.

"Uh, so what do we do now? You've already gone Roxy." Vriska frowned.

"I'll just go." Jake spoke up, they all nodded. He smiled and looked at  Eridan sheepishly.

"I tried to think of something to give you...and I know how much you like bossing people around. So...for one week, I'll be your assistant."

Eridan's eyes widened. "My assistant?"

"I'll do whatever you want, whenever you want, as long as it's not illegal or hurts my relationship with Dirk." Jake smiled.

He smirked. "Interesting, I like it, very useful," His smirk morphed into a smile. "I guess I'll go next." 

Everyone watched as Eridan took out a six pack of beer, making their jaws drop, he gave it to Gamzee. "There ya go."

Gamzee's eyes widened. "Yes...." He said in a weird whisper.

"Where did you get that?" Karkat questioned.

"My dad." Eridan smirked.

Gamzee looked at Jake with a lazy smile. "Merry motherfucking Christmas my man...enjoy this tasty treat." He handed three books to Jake.

Jake stared at them. "...You bought me guy on guy porn?"

"Hell yeah motherfucker...thought they could inspire you for your bedroom times..."

"Interesting." Dirk immedientally picked one up when he said that, skimming through it. Jake smacked him on the back of the head and took the book back.

Roxy grinned. "I think this went better than we all expected."

"Hell yeah." Dave grinned, playing with his camera. He took a picture of them all.

"Merry Christmas guys." John smiled.

The others all smiled, at least a little bit. "Merry Christmas!"

[magictavern]

hey, check out my playmoss for a ridiculous amount of hs famixes

[flaming-o-has-no-dough]

I've definitely come around myself a lot on Yiffy because she perfectly fits the established pattern of a "Fourth Kid" within the context of this new work.

Like, it's not really all that cut-and-dry, but I do think the core Homestuck foursomes can all be mapped onto sliding scales from the straightforward, relatable, protagonist-coded "First Kid" to the formula-subverting, ludicrous-backstoried, metanarratively-abrasive "Fourth Kid".

For the beta kids we have First Kid John, Second Kid Rose, Third Kid Dave, Fourth Kid Jade.

For the four most enduringly plot-relevant trolls there's First Kid Karkat, Second Kid Kanaya, Third Kid Terezi, Fourth Kid Vriska.

Then with the alpha kids there's First Kid Jane, Second Kid Jake, Third Kid Roxy, Fourth Kid Dirk.

The Candy whozeewhatzits or whatever we're calling them fall into the same pattern with First Kid Harry, Second Kid Vrissy, Third Kid Tavvy, Fourth Kid Yiffy.

It's easy, and perhaps even inevitable, as the story goes on, to "get adjusted" to the existence of a Fourth Kid as someone who's going to be a main character whether you like it or not, as well as all the deranged lore their backstory implies. Like standing for long enough in a cold swimming pool, or Stockholm Syndrome. I mean, everything about Jade got so normalized that by the time of Act 6, Jake got to be a Second Kid. I also think Dirk got a boost to his initial positive reception from the get-go just by being the one who was male and through having the surname "Strider".

In that sense, I think Yiffy was the perfect "Fourth Kid" for the themes HSBC is trying to explore regarding "the validity of canon vs. the validity of fanon" and "endless sequels vs. letting go" and the like, because she feels like a bad and poorly thought-out OC from someone's fanfiction, or that baby from Fairly Oddparents or whatever.

I don't know, I don't watch cartoons about people named Tim.

I'll stop praising the Homestuck sequel's Yiffany reveal when I'm dead. A chapter's worth of sparse buildup, the denial-fueled thought of "no, she can't be talking about a kid," a timeline defined by feelings jams that uses frustrating timeskip epilogue tropes as an existential threat, culminating in one of the most dread-inducing secret-revealing conversations I've ever read, with the full name reveal giving a brief moment of reluctant hilarity while also being the most shocking part. (Or at least I laughed.) All this information is left to stew in the reader's mind until the next bonus update, where Dirk finds out about it and we start to realize what this kid really is. She's the pharmakon. A poison and/or remedy. Her disquieting existence threatens Dirk's faith in the value of extending the story, probably. We still haven't seen her in action yet. The readers are anxiously waiting to see her.

Then the story takes this as a challenge. It is actively trying to change your mind. This is a good idea. This character is interesting and the culmination of everything this half of the story was building to. Look how cool she is and how refreshingly angry her internal dialogue is. You want to root for her. She is the victim of a timeline that matters very little, and she should not exist.

It's working. People are coming around on her. They're being sold on it. The only issue is that every time the new team uses her to her full potential and writes things the previous writers could hypothetically already have been planning, people see it as "fixing bad writing" somehow.

They needed to Tell first. Put us through the 5 stages of grief. Before Showing us something even better than acceptance.

[forgetful-river]

Merry 4/13 to all who celebrate!!

[meraki-sunset]

What are some other bad endings of the comic? I'm very interested to hear about them!

Through the comic i've come up with a few

Doomed timeline Nº2

At the end of the Game over, while Nanna is looking for John, Jade and Crow (or any other survivors) she can't make it out of the glitches and get's consumed by them like Dirk. Because of this, she can never take Terezi to John, and she can never give him the instructions to retcon the timeline correctly. Without a plan and having hit rock bottom, John and Roxy Just wait for the timeline to end

(like they almost did in canon)

Doomed timeline Nº3

John deviates from Terezi’s plan too much and goes back for his father’s corpse as well as Rose’s mom’s corpse. He doesn’t try to save them because he fears that will change the timeline too much, so he just takes the bodies. John prototypes the bodies on the new session using the Alpha kid’s kernelsprites. This provokes halsprite to never exist and making it way longer for Jade and Crow to find Davepeta and stop them from killing more people, and it also provokes Jasprose to not exist either, which means nobody came up with the idea to ascend the sprites and revive the other trolls. The kids lost to the Condesce.

Doomed timeline Nº4

Dirk regrets his decision and scapes the glitches but is now covered in them, he can’t see or think clearly. He lands on John’s planet, trying to follow him and takes refuge on a cave, when John cleans the glitches of the planet, he can’t get to clean dirk’s (doesn’t even know he’s there). Dirk arrives with the rest to the new session and begins infecting everything. The glitches take over the new session too. (glitchy dirk almost made it to the story, but that meant I would have had to kill retcon Dirk)

Doomed timeline Nº5 (My favorite doomed timeline)

In this timeline, Thypheus succeeds in killing the kid’s doubles plus Nanna, leaving Davesprite completely on his own during the trip.

He has a really bad three years in which he ponders over whether any of the choices he made up to that point were even worth anything, since now the Friends he became a Sprite to save are dead again. He then dreams with alt!Calliope, she tells him she was looking for Jade, he tells her she is dead, they talk about how she shouldn’t be talking to him, but jade and how he is the same aspect as the brother she killed, Davesprite mentions the sister he lost. Alt calliope tells him that her friend’s death was premeditated and can’t be undone even with god tier Powers, but that he should still try to ascend if he has the possibility, that could help to prevent him from losing anyone else (Alt!Calliope is aware that davesprite is on a doomed timeline, but doesn’t tell him)

Trying to take back any sort of control over his life he ascesnds to god tier

Without Jade’s help, his swings never worked, and tired of them, wanting to be human again, he cut them off. Without John he couldn’t let go of his brother’s sword. Without Nanna’s guidance, he latched onto the memories of Bro, the only guardian he knew.

He rejected the name Davesprite. He was alone, he was just dave. Day by day his hair began to whiten due to the stress of being alone and not knowing what was going to happen to him, if he was even gonna make it.

He was a mess and as months and years went by his mental state began to deteriorate. It wasn’t fair. He had lost everything and all for nothing, all for another versión of him to take his place. He was tired, he was fed up with evetything and after three years he finally snaped

After three years alone in the void having finally arrived to the new sesión he had only two tougths in mind

Get rid of Dave, and take his place

Find Rose, His sister and the only person he had left

Things didn’t go well when he arrived, even after seeing John and Jade alive, he wasn’t in a Good state of mind and still wanted Dave gone, ending at some point controled by the condesce like Davepeta. He caused chaos and a lot of butterly effect that got the timeline doomed

In the end there was only him at the Edge of the blackhole, following the call of the space energy alt!Calliope had set in motion. His oposite aspect, they were meeting again

He had lived through too much, he had seen too much and in the end, no matter how many times he went back in time to fix things, doom would always find him, all he did was in vain

The void was calling him and he let go

(This versión of Davesprite was my original idea for the spaceship crew. I love June Josh and Davepeta, but White!crow will always have a special spot in my heart and i wish i could have been able to redeem him if i had gone on with this idea)

Here is the first bad ending

[callmearcturus]

*sits very quietly with tea to listen to the Jake Dissertation Presentation*

(Also for a second that text was huge so maybe tumblr is just doing something weird. Karkatifying us to yell about KTWOWL)

lmao fine, okay okay.

so Jake "Abraxas" English is maybe the most complicated character I've ever tried to write. I think in the second Dave POV chapter, someone left a comment about how Jake sounded like he was having a completely different conversation than Dave was, and I responded that yeah that's Jake 24/7. he's always on a different level than the people around him. not a higher level, but a different level.

spoilers are gonna abound below the cut

I'm gonna be annoying and kick this off with a lot of excerpts

First Intermission

"What do you want, Jake?" Dirk asked. The slow spread of his smile made heat flicker in cage of Dirk's ribs. "Everything. Everything, Dirk. What else is there to want?"

ch8: adjudication

"They are…" [Calliope] folded her hands together and leaned in, tucking her chin over them. "They seem much like a monster to me. We had hoped that when their leader retired, they would be… contained. But the bastard heir that's taken over—"

First Intermission

"This is what I made you for, Jake. Just keep in mind these things aren't done by halves. You start this ball rolling, it's not going to stop without crushing some people." "Crushing is the goal. I'm looking forward to the crushing quite a bit, honestly." He leaned over to kiss Jade's cheek. "Thank you, Gran."

ch28: An Audience in the House of Xenon

Jake didn't look up right away, staring at the little silver ball. "Might be best I never know. I put the house on red. Either I've lost the whole thing or I have more of it to look after." "Isn't that rule one? Never put yourself in a position to lose." She came into view with proximity, melting out of the shadows. Her cane tapped very quietly against the dubiously-colored carpet. "That is what I say, isn't it," Jake murmured, picking up the ball and starting it up again.

ch21: Act Three

And on her sofa was the listless fucking heir to the whole empire, reading her books and catnapping, transparently hiding from his grandmother. She allowed this, because it was her job to advise and entertain Jake English, and she was not yet in a position to kill him. That day would doubtlessly come, but it was not today.

Second Intermission

"Says the man who wants everything." "Mhm, I do. That's the worst of it, really, that I do." His smile was wry and… tired. Sleepy-eyed and steam-doused. "She was very thorough. I imagine you know the feeling." "Your grandmother?" "Oh, yes." Jake rubbed his thumb over Dirk's knuckles. "I always fancied myself something of an engineer myself, so I certainly admire her work." "Her work being… you."

coda: mixtape for the rest of your life

"You freak out too?" "More often when I was younger." Jake clasped his hands together. "I've always hated loud noises, though that's faded a bit. Gran dragged me to the shooting range until I got a handle on it." Dave's brow furrowed. "Sounds like ssssome shitty exposure therapy." Jake only shrugged, his smile getting rueful. "It worked. She's always been an efficient sort. From what I've wringed out of Dirk, your father was a similar sort."

ch28: An Audience in the House of Xenon

"There is no backup for you, Jake," Jade told him. Which was something of a surprise to hear. He always imagined she had another stashed away just in case. He was not convinced he was the first one. Once, Rose had snippily asked if Jake had been grown in a vat for just this purpose, his purpose. He had smiled but had not laughed. "Que sera sera." He held the marble between two fingers. In it, the world was inverted.

I'm trying to figure out where to start here.

Paya made this terrible and amazing joke about KTOWL, basically how the Striders were from the puppy mill while Jake was a showdog, and it's such a good way to draw a contrast. The Striders were disposable little weregild-weights for their father to use. But Jake.... Jake was a project.

And Jake is hyper-aware of that. He knows he was engineered. Jade needed someone who could take over Abraxas and stand a chance against the High Table, and Jake had certain natural talents that fit the bill. But he was once just a kid living on his family's island (allegedly) before Jade picked him for the task.

The result was someone who was so devoted to the concept of Abraxas, he has neon in his skin, who is spoken of as synonymous with the outfit, and who well-embodies a monstrous avatar.

Dirk fucking hates his father for everything he did to his kids. Jake talks pretty openly about his grandmother's work, and often admiringly... but not the admiring of a grandson to a parent, but one engineer to another. He knows what was done to create him was... not good, but the resentment and ire is gone from him, the only remnant lingering is the fact that Jake doesn't go to Jade, she goes to him, and when he's able to, he goes and hides from Jade.

If you are going to create someone like Jake, one of the most important things is to ensure they won't turn on you. And Jake will never turn on his grandmother and even does well playing* the doting grandson, seeking her direction.

*Is it playing? Is it performance? Hm.

Jake is someone who sees the potential around him. He knows he can guide Karkat into doing 'good', he sees in Dirk a core that he wants to unearth and rebuild. He even knows that Dave would be a soft power king if he was on the board. But Jake isn't going to try and engineer Dave into anything. He'd much rather fawn over him and keep him well-fucking-away from the actual things Abraxas does.

So here is a thought to consider with Jake. With all this tacit evidence that something horrible was done to him to make him into Abraxas, does he hate his grandmother? Better question: does Jake have the capacity to hate her?

Nope.

I've talked a lot about how Jake sees in Dirk something far underneath his surface, his heart and soul subsumed under layers on concrete, and Jake wants very much to excavate Dirk and to help him become himself again. He pokes and prod Dirk, challenges him, annoys the fuck out of him, all to get that rise, to dust off the silt and rocks, to unearth who the fuck Dirk is under it all.

But with Jake, there is nothing to excavate. If you dig down, you will not find the original Jake English, the teenager on the island that Jade picked out. He is alchemized. Instead, Jake is just a performer. Rose points this out angrily to him, asking why he conceals his intelligence, and Jake treats it (everything) like a game.

Jake is not a good guy, but he cares about specific people. He loves Rose, and sees that she needs someone to be her irritating brother, so he provides that with great enjoyment. With Dirk in his hands, he'll do the same, and to a more subtle degree, he'll guide Karkat.

He would not visit the same fate he endured on someone else.

But also, it cannot be forgotten: Jake's sense of morality is basically non-existent. He thinks in rules, in fair play, in moves. He has internal logic he follows.

.... Does any of this make sense? Jake is the hardest to talk about, I think, because I feel it all emotionally more than anything. He's a charming neon avatar who wants to have it all and is worryingly good at getting it. He is incapable of being upset about being made into a monster, but curiously does not want to inflict the same on anyone else. Isn't that interesting.

If you can't feel anger for what's been done to you, how do you get revenge?

Probably collect a lot of lovely birds and a handsome dancer, and give them what they need, as determined by your nigh-psychic understanding of people.

Anyway. That's Jake. My beloved horny freak, my darling teetotal pharmacist, my maverick showboating flash bastard. /jazzhands

[superskaian]

Now that you’re finished reading, care to give a brief (or not so brief) overview of your thoughts on each character?

i did try to answer this on my main but i got overwhelmed with describing all of the characters! i have a tendency to ramble and prattle so the only way i'm getting through with this is with very. brief thoughts.

[roxy lalonde voice] lightning round go!

john- that's my friend he makes me smile c:

rose- manufactured in a skaian lab to destroy me specficially

dave- i feel very proud when i see him near the end of the comic. he managed to escape all that and i love him for it

jade- one of the characters i've shed the most tears over i want her to be happy so bad

~

aradia- wrath! of! the! lamb! aradia's arc is so good i love seeing her smile

tavros- he's very pathetic (affectionate). cheered for his ghost getting that big moment at the end

sollux- i do not remember very much about sollux. the bifurcation theme fucking slaps though

karkat- THAT'S MY FRIEND KARKAT I AM NEVER GOING TO FORGET KARKAT. THERE'S ONLY ONE STEP AND IT IS CRAB

nepeta- she's adorable and i'm kissing her on the mouth for drawing vriska ♠ terezi on her wall-

kanaya- I Love Kanaya So Fucking Much

terezi- blorbo. i post about terezi at least five times per day my feelings about her are the worst kept secret of my life. she makes me feel every emotion on the hemospectrum

vriska- years and years before i read this comic i thought i'd be a fan of hers. i was right. i loooooooove vriska. i have absolutely nothing normal to say about her

equius- he's funny c:

gamzee- i'm pretty sure his role in the overall scheme of things went entirely over my head. will pay more attention on my new game+. i fucking owe him for his relationship with terezi though thank you gamzee

eridan- also did not make much of an impression on me

feferi- i have an irrational emotional attachment to her

~

jane- she's bigender for real i make the rules.

jake- fucking lvoe the brain ghost man keep up the good work. normal boy behavior (affectionate)

roxy- manufactured in the same lab as rose to destroy me but in a different color

dirk-fucking lvoe the splinters man keep up the good work. normal boy behavior (very affectionate)

calliope- ough callie's my special friend

caliborn- i'm putting him in time out (affectionate)

~

i'm not listing all of the ancestors and dancestors just the notable ones

meenah- rotten girl. i really really like her.

aranea- one of the biggest surprises in the whole thing (absurdly affectionate). i'm making a whole list of things about aranea to obsessively study on new game plus

damara- oh my god damara is fucking cool

mindfang- i have nothing sfw to say about marquise mindfang.

redglare- my neck is right here 😩

the condesce- hhhhhhh trolls who do war crimes have the best pussy

~

jasprose- we bingewatch nekomonogatari white together and cry over never having a troll wife together

davepeta- ough theyre so cute

arquisprite- vriska i'm sorry i dont think he's very funny but i made you a list of all the different ways you can punish me and also i made a copy of that list in case something happens to the first one-

[strititty]

For the ask game - Alpha Dave?

oh shit its my boy!!! can do, friend. ((this also ended up having a lot of fic recs as i continued to answer, my bad. if you're in my strain of ao3 you'll probably have read these, but if you haven't... please enjoy!))

My NOTP for them 

i don't really have a notp with him, i don't think... i don't have a lot of those in general ??? if it's well written i will read it, tho i'm much more likely to do so if it involves some of my preferred ships, which are...

My BROTP for them

ok i have a few answers for this like a copout but first of all i think that alpha dave/john crocker is a friendship that should last the ages. second of all alpha dave/beta bro can be a really interesting dynamic however you slice it. the run and go has one of my favorite depictions of them together.

My OTP for them 

alpha dave and alpha rose... the alpha universe gives me so many fucking feelings wrt them. i've read so many good fics about them and their relationship--the fics aren't always romantic, but i strongly feel that out of any version of dave and rose these two would have the closest thing to a fullblown romantic relationship, as tragic as it may be.

also even in a non-tragic non-canon timeline they're just kind of perfect, like. laura's written not just one but two fluffy/funny alpha rose/alpha dave fics that i have reread quite a few times.

My second choice pairing for them 

what would my life be without alphacest. alpha dave/dirk is just my particular brand of... so usually i write it as 'guilty older dave worried about fucking up his teenage brother/son while dirk is just ALL the way in'.

i also enjoy asshole alpha dave, tho, or a dave who thinks he's doing right by dirk but is definitely not?? just. oh my god. i could link so many fics right now. i love good writing. i love alphacest. i love these two fuckers. here's a regency era asshole davedirk series (read all of that author's fics plz they're so good) and a good older brother dave fic (ditto)

My fluffy pairing for them

i feel i ought to mentioned davekat somewhere on this list, so i might as well do it here!! i like it as two goofy idiots where dave drives karkat up the wall. so you know, like all of davekat? there's a currently ongoing fic about karkat as a movie critic that i like a lot and need to catch up with.

My angsty pairing for them 

so i got a buddy who infected my brain with noncon davecest and their aus feed a certain brutal itch.

(also, daverose again. i love it as a tragedy. you know that post going around that's like "the love was there. it didn't change anything, but it matters that it was there." you know that one? oof.)

My favorite poly ship for them 

i don't have a huge amount of poly ships for him but i did once write a jane/alpha dave/jade fic that i had a lot of fun with, and i am always here for striderpile.

My weirdest pairing for them

my oc/canon ship that turned into an oc/oc ship. i will not elaborate sorry.

canon-wise it's not THAT weird b/c i don't consider it too much of a stretch, but holy shit alpha dave<3<the batterwitch. also, alpha dave/hal?? not explored enough imo. gotta do some more with it.