#i've been trying to post this since two days ago no joke the internet here is no joke

[oakthefrog]

My Tribute to Shorts Wars

(Spoilers for all 3 seasons and the finale) (and chat istg I'm trying to keep this 'short' BUT I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS I JUST CAN'T)

I was a fan since day one. It was the first week of summer for me, after one of the worst school years I've ever had (at the time). It instantly became a hyperfixation.

One of my only memories from that summer was watching and rewatching shorts wars, being ecstatic for every video, it gave me a routine to follow and a community to stand behind.

That summer was possibly one of the hardest times of my life so far. Hell, the Dear Danno channel is probably a reason why I'm still here today. Shorts Wars got my through it.

The build-up to season two was probably the lowest point in my life, mentally, at least. The anticipation for a new wave of theorising, content and joy got me through it all.

I remember sitting on the school bus right after my final class would end, and I'd watch the everyone's short for the day on the way home. It was truly a 'you-had-to-be-there' thing for me.

The only reason I have a discord account is so I could join the boss's server, and on there I met my first internet friends, who I've stuck with ever since (if you're reading this guys, thanks for being so nice to me this whole time :]).

And tumblr, oh boy tumblr... I won't sugar coat it, it's been a hell of a ride that's for sure (in a good way, the best way possible). It wasn't that long ago that I was squealing over the moss arc 'final' fight and making my first roleplay blog (Joe Caine). And now I have like 11+ alt blogs, I've met A MUTUAL IRL (you were so cool to meet and talk to if ur reading this :3).

And oh boy this is long as fuck so I'm gonna wrap this up-

Season 3 came at a great time for me, I've made so many friends bc of this, my art's improved, my mental state has improved and this ARG has been my constant through all the shit I've gone through in the last 12 months (ish).

I've laughed, I've screamed, I've cried and I've almost thrown up out of fear, joy and overall sickness. All in the last 2 hours. I bet some quotes from the finale will engrain into my skull, become inside jokes and/or vocal stims and I hope I never forget any of it. The good, the bad and the scary.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank you Rumble Pack and anyone who's worked on Shorts Wars. I hope you're as proud of what you did as we all are, and I hope YOU GET SOME SLEEP BECAUSE GOOD GOD-

-Oak (aka Alex bc signing this long-ass kinda depressing post off with a silly internet name seems odd-)

[schismusic]

Redecorating

I've done some pretty stupid shit in my life but this, this whole thing (imagine I'm gesturing around indistinctly with a ghastly look on my face), totally takes the cake. Is it funny if I do the tapping-the-mic-to-check-if-it-works gag in a written post?

It started when I was about to turn fifteen and trying to bed a girl - she honestly dodged a bullet when she said no, I cannot lie to you all. Anyway I guess I absolutely had to find an outlet for being an annoying teenager and being an asshole irl simply didn't cut it sometimes, you know how it is, most of us are here for that exact same reason.

A number of things have happened since I last posted on this hellsite. The short version is as follows:

I had an identity crisis, or two, or five;

I got a driver's license, somehow;

a worldwide pandemic hit, but I guess this is another one of those things that make us equal on this postapocalyptic landscape of a microblogging platform;

just as inexplicably as my driver's license, I also got a beautiful and lovely girlfriend of almost three years now;

who knows, I might even get a degree before 2024 is over.

This is all fine and dandy, of course, but sometimes a dude just needs to scream into the void, wherein "the void" in this case is about two hundred (!!!!) strangers on the internet, which probably includes you, dear reader. Thanks for sticking with me over these troublesome years of absolutely nothing happening on this blog.

What's new then?

Number one: "what the fuck kinda name is schismusic?"

Hi, my name is schismusic. I thought of this ungodly name when I was, as mentioned, a very pretentious fourteen-year-old, and it absolutely shows. However,

one could argue it's part of the charm in a way;

it grants a bit of relative anonimity compared to my other, more beloved Internet alias (which will inevitably come crashing against my inevitable post concerning my band and the record we made a while ago - more on this later);

somehow, it stuck. You people will eat up just about fucking anything, really!

(Another thing that happened: I learned a tiny bit of HTML, because Letterboxd is yet another hellsite I'm not-quite-proudly a part of. Gotta catch 'em all. I love being annoying with HTML formatting as a matter of fact, it's quite liberating to pretend to know that you can code in front of a billion strangers on the Internet.)

Number two: "so is this asshole gonna post fake hipster music on my timeline yet again?"

Not really, or at least not just that. First order of business is that reblogging is fun, but it overstays its welcome when you do it irresponsibly. It also quite literally goes contrary to this blog's original self-appointed mission and this cannot go unchecked. Pretension is law! Bad taste is every single one of this blog's ten commandments! I hate you all more than I hate myself!

Jokes aside, my point is exactly that I want to be a bit less annoying on the Internet for once. Consequently, I have decided to extend the range of posts on this blog beyond the relatively usual songs and reach into short- and medium-form writing (fiction, nonfiction, maybe even reviews: anything goes), pictures I take (the true OGs might remember I used to post my own drawings from time to time: that's not entirely out of the question for the future, it's just that it's been a while since I've last drawn anything worthwhile) and obviously shameless self-promotion (remember me mentioning my band a couple paragraphs above? Well, here is our record on Bandcamp, Spotify and YouTube; and no, my dear OGs, this is not the same band I used to talk about back in the day! This is a whole new project for you to check out), both in Italian and English, and maybe even some Spanish if I actually take my Spanish to a functional level.

As a corollary of this final point, I will not be deleting my old content, so that the new people on here can get to enjoy a whole cornucopia of cringe circa-2014 content.

Finally, since this is primarily a music blog, the obligatory soundtrack to the writing of this post:

Shoutout to literally every single one of you people for somehow not getting tired of waiting through these years of inactivity, or maybe you just forgot that I existed. If it's the second one, I hope this post was a fun throwback, and that this time you remember to unfollow me for good like you probably wanted to do back when I was active and annoying on here.

It's good to be back.

Love,

schismusic

[megatownac]

The queue is empty, and it's been a little over four years since that happened. The last time, it's because I was on a two-week trip to Japan. This time, it's because I've quit playing New Horizons.

I stopped playing on September 22, on Ankha's birthday, because I wanted to celebrate that one last time before I put the game down. Since then, I've regained half an hour each day by not playing, and another twenty minutes by not queueing up posts after I got through my backlog on October 1. So it's been about 23 days of having an extra 50 minutes.

I'd been playing for nearly a year for no reason other than to keep getting fuel for posts. It wasn't fun on its own anymore.

I started this blog in September 2013, 10 years and 1 month ago. Since then, I've written over 22,000 posts in just about 3700 days.

When I started this blog, the Animal Crossing world was a lot more active. I made friends with people like @toysleaf and @vivinzenz. I would visit people's towns, and they would visit mine. As years went on, that faded. The blog got a little bit bigger. Just barely, barely big enough that I had to get cautious about what I wrote. I cut out all swearing and off-color jokes. I stopped asking people for things. I made sure never to reveal my political leanings, or my thoughts on current events. It wasn't my place, I thought, and was grateful that nobody asked me to weigh in. I eventually became isolated in my little world, not reblogging anything from anybody, ever, and hoping that maybe eventually some silly joke I made would get viral enough to…

To what, exactly? It's not like I ever made money doing this, and I'd all but given up on making friends. I was just doing it out of habit, out of a drive to see if I could get my follower count to go up. It didn't. I hit the 1500-follower mark back in 2016 or 2017 and never got higher than 1595. My silly jokes, my constant barrage of snarky comments about my day-to-day life, simply weren't popular with some imaginary mainstream Animal Crossing tumblr fandom that stopped existing well before New Horizons came out.

There's still an Animal Crossing fandom out here, of course. Just not one that follows blogs like mine. Do something impressive: create some art, or crochet something, or even design a cool home. Things I was not doing. Things I did not want to do.

I'd like to get back to enjoying Animal Crossing. To playing the game for fun. To playing it with other people, and making friends. But that won't happen right now. It can't.

Remember, I've been doing this for over 10 years. I was in my late twenties when I STARTED this blog, and I knew very well that I was one of the oldest people on Tumblr posting Animal Crossing content. My forties are not far off. I'm old. I feel out of place and weird posting my silly little jokes here when I know that most of the people reading them, and there aren't many who do, are probably quite a bit younger than I am. It's a kid's game, and that's fine. But I'm not a kid, and I'm not posting anything truly creative. Just blogging. Just starting up my game each morning to run around and gather fossils and hit rocks and talk to any islanders I see and snapping dozens of screenshots so I can post them on Tumblr at a rate of 4 or more posts each day.

This isn't goodbye forever. I'm just going on break for now. When something changes, I'll be back.

In the meantime, my main blog, @ratralsis, was active before this one started and is still active. I'm going to try to write there a little more often now that I'm not posting here each day, but we'll see, I guess.

As for here, I don't know what I might be posting here in the next few months. Maybe nothing. Maybe I'll start reblogging things again for the first time in, what, six years? Seven years? I don't know. A long time.

I'm not saying I will. Just that I maybe will. Maybe I won't!

Either way, take care of yourself, and remember that I'm still around and, one way or another, will continue writing on the internet until I am physically unable. I've been doing so since 2001 or so and have never stopped. I've been Ratralsis since 2002 and I needed a name to write on a friend's website (the website is long gone now). As far as I know, I'm either the only Ratralsis out there or the other people with that name don't show up on Google, so, as of today, at least, if you see a Ratralsis out there complaining about Best Buy on Twitter or leaving comments on YouTube videos or posting in the forums on Flight Rising, that's me.

That's all for now.

[faithisforthetranspeople]

Hex's Media Thread 2021 Archive (Part 1)

Said a day or two ago I'd archive this stuff in case Twitter truly goes under because it's sadly become something I've actually rather enjoyed to do and be somewhat more open about my opinions on things. Funny how on paper I resigned myself to all data on the internet being temporary but when confronted with the idea of losing some personal things I scuttled to preserve them ^^;.

Anyways this post is gonna be rather small in comparison to the others cause I wasn't doing it until halfway through the year. Also in the future expect to see me make individual posts for just an entry or two whenever I'm caught up :). Also before you ask, the reason Scott is here is because I made it originally as a Media Thread joke image but then ended up actually making one.

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim was a very fun way to start off the year and I would frequently chip away at it a couple hours before bed every night before deciding near the end to just binge through it all. I really liked how the story presented itself and that was a big hook that kept me going along even when some of the characters weren't nearly as interesting as others. The gameplay is simple and you can easily become overpowered with no real effort just by buying a few moves and that's fine, in my experience the VN with 10% sRPG gameplay is usually not very difficult anyways. I haven't played this studio's other games before but I've been made aware the ending of this is decently similar to another of their works but seeing as I don't know of it I'm instead choosing to live in ignorant bliss and say it comes together pretty great! It isn't mind-bending but the journey that leads there is very fun and filled with a lot of interesting moments and wondering what's going on.

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky 3rd is maybe still my favorite entry in the franchise but I'm a bit torn on the decision after playing a few others. I know it's a somewhat controversial game since there's no real sidequesting and reused overworld (mostly) like the other games have but at the same time it means I don't have to follow a spoiler-free sidequest guide playing the game and not have to miss everything ^^;. The reason I loved this one so much is I just generally like Kevin and Ries more as characters than Estelle and Joshua because their adopted family to lovers dynamic is just something I can never fully in good conscious really get behind, and while there is a tragically small amount of that in Kevin/Ries as well (with a few other weird issues in his life growing up as well) it's just easier to swallow for me. But enough about the negatives, one thing I love about the format of this game is the Door system allows for every character to get some moments of backstory or further development to bridge the gap between Sky games and what the series has eventually moved onto and become that I really like!

Jujutsu Kaisen Season 1! I watched her! To be honest I don't have many thoughts on this series that probably haven't been expressed everywhere else. It looks great and it inspired me to continue on and read the manga which was really great as well but I've just kinda fallen off on it recently. Nobara so cool

Blaster Master Zero and Blaster Master Zero 2 were played in such a close succession to each other that I just added both at the same time. I've always loved the Megaman Zero games ever since a friend introduced me to them about ~6 years ago and eventually have gone on to play even more of Inticreates works because they just make such fun games. The first game definitely has some rough parts to get around such as the moments of backtracking and some archaic level design due to trying to be a mostly-faithful remake of the original Blaster Master as well as having the most effort to get the true ending of the trilogy, which isn't that much of an issue for me since I love 100%ing metroid-styled games anyways but is still worth mentioning. The story doesn't do anything crazy but it does enough to endear you to the cast imo.

The sequel takes a lot of notes on where to improve where the original was lacking and it does it wonderfully. There's a lot more character banter and optional dialogue you can trigger compared to the small amount in the 1st game and coupled with a way more interesting story it made it very easy to get engaged quicker. There's so much Quality of Life changes like being able to warp back to Sophia instantly using fred both on the world map and when finishing a dungeon, or the change to have energy recharge and work differently making it so energy-consuming weapons don't suck as much ass to use as they did in 1. The planet hopping system is also wonderful because it cuts down on backtracking almost fully and every single system has a very unique atmosphere in the main planet and some fun side-planets for upgrades. If you're observant enough on the collection overview screen it's also very easy to tell what the true ending requirements are in this game, and that entire section + the final boss might be my favorite part of this series barring some specific moments in 3.

Monster Hunter Rise basegame was very fun and I loved it. My favorite Monster Hunter game is Generations which got me into the series back in 2016 and this one was a close contender with very fast and fun movement fighting aggressive monsters that somewhat compensate for all these new tools. The serpent themes are some of my fav music I've heard in Monhun and I'm just glad this game didn't fall off in enjoyment for me like World did. Rampage is a slightly penis gameplay mechanic I will say but it didn't take too much of the playtime up sooo whatever. I'll give more thoughts in a later post when Sunbreak came out but fwiw my new favorite monster they added in the basegame was Goss Harag :).

Final Fantasy XIV: Eden's Promise (Savage) was a grind for my static at the time but it ended up being my favorite Savage tier... which didn't mean much at the time since I started raiding during Eden's Verse lmao. But even after the next two raid tiers (my group disbanded after scheduling issues for p8s) it's still my favorite and I'll always think that e11s is one of the coolest interpretations of a character ever.

Yakuza 0 is a game I took forever to finally sink my teeth into and god damn was I missing out. Between all the side-missions and modes (which I had done all of except Majima's Amon fight because I didn't feel like grinding for a broken weapon) and the actual story I sunk a good amount of time in this world and I really need to get back in there with Yakuza Kiwami. It will happen before 2024 ends mark my words.

No Straight Roads was a strong GOTY contender for me back in 2021 cause I loved its presentation due to it reminding me of some games I grew up with like Psychonauts for example, and the boss fights were super creative and the music gimmick was so cool and also just had some bangers. I don't even feel like I've given this game the time it deserves to cook because I skipped a lot of the lore files you get throughout the game and I definitely want to go back to it sometime to see them but I also feel like the game was just good enough that I don't feel like I've fucked up by skipping all that cause the normal story was already really fun to me and even a bit emotional at times.

Chainsaw Man. You can read it and it's pretty cool but it hasn't stuck with me strongly as a whole (I haven't been reading much of part 2) and I prefer Fujimoto's one-shots a lot more but still liked my time with this one!

And finally for the end of this part, Rhythm Heaven Fever! Yes I somehow took all until 2021 to play this game despite having played Megamix years ago and loving other Rhythm games like Project Diva and Theatrhytm (and also having a best friend who talked about this game all the time and we'd even Talk About The Series Together). The gameplay is so fun despite only being a few buttons and each minigame really stands out with the remixes being fun and having some banger songs thrown in. I think the monkey's from Monkey Watch can all go burn in hell.

There should be two more updates to 2021 before I get to move on to 2022 but I hope you've enjoyed these little thought capsules :). When we catch up and I get to post more things individually the posts should be a bit more focused and interesting but thanks if you've read it all anyways!

[onunbusu]

Juyo Sankounin Tantei - Episode 1

[mingissmile1117]

Hello! I decided to post this ff on here as well! It would really mean a lot and help me out if you could also check it out on my wattpad:)!! Don't feel obligated to though.

Chapter 1, Late Wednesday Nights

1574 Words

Seonghwa didn't want to work at this damned bar for the rest of his life. Smelling vomit and having to drag heavy limp body's outside really does something to a person's sanity. He swore, if he had to mop up sticky alcohol residue on the floor from clumsy drunks spilling their drinks one more time he was doing to snap his own neck.

The night was coming closer, and so was Seonghwas shift. Since it was a Wednesday night, almost everyone that was here from the evening had left, by their own will or forced to from security. The tired man stared off into space, mindlessly wiping off the soapy shot glasses behind the counter.

He came to when the bell from the door chimed softly. Annoyed, he groaned quietly. Who comes to the bar this late on a Wednesday night?

When he looked up, his breath hitched, stuck in his throat. Standing at the entrance was a man of short stature. He adorned a blonde buzz cut. His chin was slim and complimented by a sharp jawline that could cut through diamonds. The man's eyes were beautiful; deep chocolate brown irises and long, black eyelashes. His lips were the perfect shade of pink and deliciously plump. Overall, he was quiet the pretty man.

"Hello!" Hongjoong waved his hand, trying to get Seonghwas attention.

Seonghwa blinked, swallowing dryly. "Sorry- sorry. Welcome! Have a seat." He said with a smile, throwing his towel over his shoulder and resting his hand on his hip. "What can I get for you?" He asked the man across the counter, eyes taking in all his sharp features.

Hongjoong sat down on the barstool and rested his hand on the counter, slowly tapping his fingers. "Give me a minute to think." He asked politely.

Seonghwa nodded. He looked down at Hongjoongs hand, taking note of his panted nails and multiple rings.

"Woah... that's hot..."

Seonghwa thought to himself, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. He cleared his throat, going to the counter behind him pretending to do something to distract himself.

"Sir?" Hongjoong softly raised his voice.

"You can just call me Seonghwa." The man said, looking back at the blonde with a playful smile.

"Well, Seonghwa, I'd like a margarita, if you don't mind."

"One margarita for?" Seonghwa turned around, looking at the blonde with a raised eyebrow.

"Hongjoong." The shorter man smirked.

"One margarita, coming up for Hongjoong!" Seonghwa said brightly, his hands getting to work as he started to whip up the drink.

"So hongjoong-" Seonghwa averted his gaze. "What brings to here at this time of night?" He asks.

The blonde sat back in the barstool, the three undone buttons on his flannel exposing a sliver of his chest.

"Got bored while taking a nightly stroll and decided I had some cash to burn." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't you have work in the morning? It's a Wednesday after all." Seonghwa looked up at the other.

"No not really..." Hongjoong bit his lip.

"Well you have to make an income somehow, what do you do?"

"I guess you could say I'm a freelance artist." The blonde titled his head, smirking as he bit his tongue between his teeth.

"Well Mr. Freelance artist," Seonghwa slid a cold glass across the counter, "You're drink is ready."

Hongjoong raised his eyebrow, chuckling softly as he set a 10 on the counter. "Thanks." He picked up the glass, his rings clinking against the surface.

The blonde stared into his drink, spinning it softly and watching the ice clash with eachother. "So Seonghwa, what do you do? Ya know like out of this bar?"

The red haired man blushed, looking down at the counter he was leaning on. "I like to make YouTube videos, they're really nothing much though. I live with my two roommates though who are pretty interesting. One of them really likes to cook, so I get to taste test his food all the time!" Seonghwa stopped himself before he starting rambling too much. "Ah sorry..." He scratched the back of his neck, a little embarrassed.

"It's alright. I like hearing you talk." He said with a playful grin, "I also like people who can carry a conversation by themselves, I'm not that much of a talker." He took a sip of his alcohol, tipping his head back sensually.

~

The night carried on as Seonghwa talked to his hearts content while Hongjoong listened adoringly.

The were in their own little world, one at a barstool and the other behind the counter. Stars filled the dark sky as the moon shone brightly over the tall buildings. Crickets chirped softly in the grass between the cracks of the sidewalk.

They were brought back to reality when the apple watch on Seonghwas wrist started beeping frantically. "Oh- it's closing time already?" He said disappointed, tapping the screen on his watch to turn off the alarm.

"How about I give you a ride home after I clean up the place a bit?" Seonghwa immediately offered, not losing the chance to get this man more. "You said you walked here right? Plus it's pretty late out, I don't think any of the cab places will pick up." He said with a knowing smirk.

"I'm sold." Hongjoong sat back in the stool, crossing one leg over the other. "I'll wait for you then." He smiled.

Seonghwa grabbed the blondes empty glass and began to clean up the back of the counter.

~

Seonghwa opened the car door for Hongjoong, letting him in the passengers side. "Wow, what a gentleman." The shorter man joked, getting into the car.

Seonghwa got into the driver's side with a huff. He stretched his body, relaxing into the seat. As he stuck his keys into the ignition he asked, "So whats your address?"

"The apartment building on Dongyo Street. You know the one above the 7-Eleven?"

Seonghwa stopped suddenly and looked over at Hongjoong. "No way, really?" He asked, mouth agape with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" The blonde asked, a little confused.

"I live in that same building! How come I've never seen you before?"

"Oh!? Well I just moved in to the 5th floor a few weeks ago."

"The new floor they just got done building? Makes sense why I haven't seen you yet." He stated as he stepped on the gas, driving out of his parking spot.

~

Seonghwa had insisted on walking with Hongjoong to his apartment. He wanted to get this mans number so badly, but he was nervous and wasn't quite sure how to ask. "This is your room? E300?" They stopped walking and stood in front of the door. "Mhm, sure is." Hongjoong reached in his pocket, searching for his keys.

"So uh," Seonghwa started awkwardly, completely contrasting from his earlier subtle flirting. "Since we live in the same building and all, I think it would be pretty convenient if we had eachothers numbers."

"Oh well-" Hongjoong was cut off by the door opening, a 6 ft tall man with black hair behind the frame.

"Dude, where have you been?! Get in here! Mingi is literally destroyed our kitchen earlier trying to make dinner since you weren't here- come help clean up!" Yunho pulled Hongjoong inside and slammed the door shut.

"Wait but-" Seonghwa whined. He wasn't that disappointed that he didn't get Hongjoongs number since they lived in the same building, but it was going to be a lot harder now.

He walked all the way downstairs to the second floor, sulking. He opened the door to his apartment, room B6. It was quiet dark as he expected it to be Wooyoung and San were already asleep in their rooms. The read head slid of his shoes at the entrance, trying to be as quiet as possible. He looked in the fridge quickly, trying to see if anything would appeal to his stomach, but nothing did. With a sigh he walked off to his room and sat down at his desk rather than laying im his bed.

He played some random games mindlessly, but he couldn't get that blonde off of his mind. He also thought about that tall man. What if Hongjoong was dating him? Or that Mingi that the dude mentioned? What if Seonghwa made up everything in his head and he didn't even have a chance?

Out of curiosity, Seonghwa typed something into the search bar

"How to know if your crush likes you"

That sounded absolutely childish, he knew that well, but he couldn't help it.

He scrolled and scrolled down the pages past a bunch of wiki how's and reddit pages. Until, he saw a link for a Craigslist added titled

"Spice up your love life and give your soul to this matchmaking devil"

"Oh?" That sounded quite interesting to the man and so, he clicked.

"Feeling lost in love? Not so sure how to win the heart of your crush? Make an 'deal' with this matchmaker and gain you're deepest desires. You'll surely find the treasure you're sought after. " Seonghwa read out loud, an amused smile on his face.

He scrolled down the page, seeing you could "book an appointment" with the "matchmaker".

"You know what? Fuck it."

After typing in some info he really shouldn't be giving out on the internet, he pressed enter.

Man, he was so desperate.

Tomorrow at 5 pm was his "appointment". What a perfect day to be off work.

[toumakibangs]

Oh when I woke up tonight I said I've gotta make somebody love me (and now I know that is you, you're lucky lucky)

SERVICE NOTE: Here we are with the last prompts of the TouMaki Month! I’m so very sorry for the delay, but I went long with writing because of work issues and after that I’ve been without internet for a while (still am, technically)! If you’re reading this, it means that he last fics have been queued and they’re being uploaded as we speak: a post every two hours, from 3pm to 5am, CEST time. My advice is to check the blog if you don’t want to miss any, because if you’re going to browse the tags (‘toumaki month 2018’ and ‘toumaki’), Tumblr will only show you three posts per blog.

Anyway, at 7am CEST time we’ll upload a recap post featuring ALL the entries to the Month, so you can browse them more easily (I’m also saving the final Goodbyes and Thank You-s for then).

My apologies again for the wobbly schedule and I hope you’ll enjoy these last fireworks!

Prompt: “Things you said on the phone at 4am”

Jules’ Notes: Did somebody say ‘Paradise Kiss’? Not an AU, but whenever I think about Makishima’s life in London I feel influenced by that manga. So, if you’re familiar with it, you might recognize a certain situation… but I’m positive it will end differently for Maki-chan! ;)

Toudou’s phone blasts off in the middle of the night, and it’s only halfway through the fifth ring that Toudou sees it’s freakin’ 4am in the morning. Right after that, Hana, for the adjacent room, proceeds to remind him just how late 4am in the morning is for the average person. Caught between sleep and the literal wake-up-call, he has barely the time to mentally chastise himself for always forgetting to put his phone on vibration mode before he sees the caller’s ID. It’s Makishima. Who is the reason Toudou always forgets to put his phone on vibration mode. They have an hard enough time just trying to keep in touch, lately, it would be absolutely unthinkable, in Toudou’s list of values, to miss a call from Makishima or let a text or a mail unattended. Even if Makishima never calls after 9.30pm (Tokyo time), not to disrupt Toudou’s sleeping schedule. And even if he insisted Toudou didn’t have to reply to his messages right away, that was the whole point of leaving them, to give Toudou the chance to answer when he was more comfortable.

But Makishima is clearly calling him right now, in the middle of the night, and the ringtone has been going on for so long that it can’t be a mistake. Why would he do that, if not for a huge emergency?! If not for something very serious!? Like, an accident, or breaking up with Toudou over this long-distance-relationship that is clearly more effort than it’s worth?!

Hana solicits him again (this time by slamming her platforms towards the wall they share, by the sound of it) and Toudou answers the call out of reflex. The picture of Makishima that is associated to his contact switches to the black screen, but Toudou’s ears fill with a well-known, much beloved, totally missed voice.

- Jinpachi!!!

It’s not, Toudou notices, the tone of voice of someone that is going to announce a tragedy, but he kind of feels too drowsy, still, to trust his own judgement.

- M-Maki-chan..?

- I’ve sold it, Jinpachi, I’ve done it! I’m sorry, I know it’s late as fuck back home but I had to tell you!!! I’ve sold it!

Even half-asleep, he doesn’t miss the affectionate way Makishima addressed Japan and called it home. A few months ago, he wouldn’t have. It puts a smile on Toudou’s lips and calms his racing heart more than the rest of Makishima’s words. That, so far, still hold too little meaning for him to make something of them.

- …w-what are you talking about?

- My dress, Jinpachi! One of the pieces I’ve left at some boutiques! It has been sold!

It’s something they’ve been talking about, recently: Makishima still helps his brother with his brand but lately, with the complicity of a few classmates, he has started developing his own side-brand, and Ren encouraged him to put a label on his creations and try to propose them to some few, selected underground shops among his own. So far, the experiment hadn’t given much results. Although it was to be expected, since unique pieces were more difficult to place than mass-produced ones that could be made available in every size, it still was a little disheartening for a wannabe designer to hear, day after day, that nobody wanted your stuff. Until today. When, apparently, right before closing time someone had walked into an indie store looking for Ren’s Design novelties and purchased a whole outfit labelled Spider’s Web.

Makishima’s first sale as an independent designer.

- That’s AMAZING! Oh my god Maki-chan I’m so happy!!! Are you happy?!

He hears a loud chuckle at the other end of the phone, along with the clinking of glasses and a whooping noise that sounds too much like Ren partying on his own in their tiny kitchen.

- K’ha! Of course I’m happy! It’s a real sale, Jinpachi! I mean, in a real shop! Somebody walked in, tried my dress and liked it so much that they decided to buy it! And they picked the accessorizes too! I mean, isn’t it amazing!?

What’s amazing, in Toudou’s opinion, is his boyfriend’s absolute marvel at a gesture that is at the very base of his dream profession, and he jokes about it lightly.

- Isn’t it what you’ve always worked so hard to achieve, though? People buying your stuff?

- Yeah, but you don’t understand: I’ve sewn things for Ren that have been sold, I’ve even suggested him some designs that he’s managed to turn into something desirable, but people never really liked my clothes enough to buy them! I mean, this is real!  They’ve given me the money they made from the sale! I am currently drinking the fruits of my labour!

Toudou would like to hug and kiss him senseless. To congratulate and celebrate him, of course, but mostly because right now Makishima is too adorable for words.

- Drink them to the last drop, then, tiger. You’ve earned it.

- I did. I mean, I really did. It’s unbelievable.

There’s a pause, and Toudou hears him gulp down something, most probably expensive beer, if he knows him and Ren. Then there is a sigh, and when he resumes speaking Makishima sounds more sober than earlier.

- What if it’s real, Jinpachi? What if this is the real thing?

The subtext is clear: what if it turns out this is not a scam, and all my efforts pay off, and my future starts to take a definite direction, and it’s a route that doesn’t involve Japan, at least not in the short term? What if I make it, and my dreams come true? What happens to the rest?

Toudou exhales loudly, failing to hide a chuckle. Because despite the untold questions, he can’t help but feel enthusiastic at his boyfriend’s success.

- This is the real thing, Yuu. Which means that you were right all along, and that you don’t have to stop now, but work harder than ever. Strike while the iron is hot, or what is it than they say in London: go get your rightful place among all the professionals that populate those streets!

- …you make it sound so easy.

- I know what you’re capable of, and I believe in you. I’m proud of you: congratulations on your sale.

He hears Makishima swallow.

- I… I wanted to tell you right away. As soon as I knew it. T-They called me and the only thing I thought about beside my own exhilaration was ‘I have to tell Jinpachi’.

Toudou sniffs, and dries his eyes with the back of his hand.

- T-Thank you. I’m very h-happy to hear that.

- …I love you?

Makishima never says the words first. He always reciprocates them wholeheartedly, but he doesn’t say them first, usually.

- I love you too. I… I wished I was there to celebrate with you.

There’s a pause and Toudou knows Makishima is worrying his bottom lip and pinching the bridge of his nose.

- M-Me too, Jinpachi. Honestly.

They don’t say anything for a while, merely breathing into the phone and listening to each other. Toudou puts his own device on the pillow and lays down himself: like this, if he keeps his eyes closed, it almost feels like they’re beside each other.

- …sorry for waking you up? I mean, what time is it on your side, 4 am?

- Twenty past four, right this instant.

- Go to sleep, Jinpachi.

Toudou yawns.

- Talk me into it: what are you having for dinner? Going out to celebrate?

- K’ha! No, not at all: we’ve ordered take out, I’ve been craving spring rolls for a while. And Ren keeps handing me beer that I swear I don’t know where it’s going.

- You’re drinking it, Yuu. I can hear you swallowing and you’ve been doing that for a while.

- You’re lying.

- I’m not and you’re going to get drunk.

- And doesn’t that bother you?

Toudou whines.

- It does, but it’s not like I can stop you from here, can I?! At least I know you’re home and you’re safe.

- I’m not safe, my brother is totally irresponsible.

There’s an indignant exclamation in the background, followed by a thud, and Toudou knows Ren has thrown Makishima a slipper: he chuckles.

- Love that you’re so lively…

The commotion is followed by silence, as if Makishima locked himself into another room.

- Where are you, now?

- Bedroom.

- Me too.

- Yeah, I guessed as much.

- …tell me about the dress you sold.

Makishima knows Toudou doesn’t really care for the details of the outfit, but he does understand that asking Makishima to talk about his work is the easiest way to get to hear his voice for a long period of time. It’s a game that Makishima plays willingly, and he knows he’s going to lose Toudou before he arrives to the description of the matching hat and fake suspenders, but he doesn’t care. The breathing on the other end quiets down and stabilizes at the shoes, but he rattles on in a low reassuring tone and then stays silent, listening to the faint murmurs coming from the other end of the line.

It almost feels like Toudou is sleeping beside him.

He doesn’t hang up for a long time.

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 16

Camila Cabello Had A One-Night-Stand With A Girl

A very surprising photo of singer Camila Cabello surfaced the internet today. This morning, a girl named Alycia Debnam posted a rather explicit photo (picture below) of the not-so-innocent Cuban-Mexican singer.

The girls were seen with a random girl whom we recognized as Alycia going out of a club late last night. There were also snaps of them in the club in Dinah's snapchat.

The photo was trending through every social medias and luckily, we managed to contact the woman who took the picture just a few hours ago.

“Yesterday, I was out at this club that just opened. That was the time I saw Camila [Cabello]. She was drunk and dancing in the middle of the dance floor. At first, I didn't remember how I knew her but something pulled me to her." She said.

"She looked at me invitingly and we danced through the night. She eventually brought me to her friends (current members of Fifth Harmony and Lauren's fiancé). That was when I realized who she was. But I didn't really fangirled then. We all played games and drank. It was fine and everything but at one point, Lauren [Jauregui] and Camila got quite moody.”

“It wasn't because of anything. I don't think they're not in bad terms. Actually, they seem quite close. Lauren seem to look at her [Camila] a lot." She said when we asked if the girls hated each other.

"For the short time I've been with Camila, she never once mentioned Lauren or anything that says that she was or is romantically involved with her. But what the hell do I know?”

So there you have it, Camilizers and Harmonizers.

We all know that the girls have been close this past year. With Camila birthday celebration and the outing they had last month. But how do you guys feel about the cute reunion? How about Camren, do you think they happened at one point? And more importantly, how's your reaction about Camila's picture? Was it surprising? Do you think she's gay, bi or just having fun? Comment your opinions below.

I scowl as I finish reading the article. Drama just keeps on coming to me. I don’t get it. What’s so interesting about a girl having fun? Everyone has sex once in a while.

The management would be so pissed. For years since I was in Fifth Harmony, they seem to push me towards the straight, pure and innocent girl but the photo just killed two birds with one stone.

The management knows about my sexuality. I actually told them right after I left Fifth Harmony, hoping that I was free enough to open up to the public. Unfortunately, they thought that I would get a wider audience if I stay in the closet for a few more years. I didn’t know anything then so I thought that they know better so I just complied.

But after more than a year staying in that claustrophobic closet, I felt the need to come out. So even if I’m quite sad that I got outed like that, deep inside, Im sort of happy that it’s out there. People know now.

But again, that wasn’t ideal. Who wants their naked picture on the internet for everyone to see? I’m just glad that she had the decency to at least not take a picture of my private parts.

How would my management react? They’re gonna be so mad. Would they fire me? Is that possible?

I start panicking at that thought. I’ve come so far, only to be demolished by a meaningless one-night stand. Oh My God. Are people going to label me as a slut now? Haters are pretty simple minded and I’m sure they would think that. I’m sure they would think that I do that often, only to be caught now. But I’ve never done that before.

Alycia is honestly the second person I’ve ever had sex with. The first being Lauren. I was just so frustrated and so dry from 2 years that I thought that it was a good idea. Basically, I was driven by desire and lust. Is that why people say that you can’t make decisions according to desire? Is this my backlash for not listening to Lauren? Is this my karma? Is karma even a thing?

I start panicking more now. My eyes are blurry from the tears that seems to pour out when I was thinking. My breathing is hectic and shaky. I grab my phone and luckily, I know where the contact app are and clicked at the first option I could find.

Of course, the universe being a usual bitch, Lauren came through the line.

“Hello?” She asks. She is seriously the last person I wanna call. I’m kind of embarrassed because I didn’t listen to her. I thought that she was only thinking about her own feelings, that’s another factor that pushed me to sleep with Alycia. But now that what she warned me is actually happening, I can’t help but feel ashamed.

“Camz?” She repeats since I haven’t answered her, “Are you okay? You’re breathing really loudly.”

“I-I’m fi-ne,” I croak out, even if it wasn’t as convincing as I hoped it would be.

“What happened?” She asks.

Again, I didn’t reply. I was too busy thinking about how to end the call before it becomes obvious that I’m panicking.

“Camz?? What’s happening? You’re scaring me.”

I take a deep breathe, trying to compose myself but failing miserably since she asks, “Are you having a panic attack? I’m coming to your room.”

“Do-ont, I’m oka-y.”

“Too late.”

A knock comes a few moments later, indicating that she’s here already so I can’t really do anything but open it.

After a minute attempting to open the door with my shaky hand, I succeeded and Lauren immediately barge into the room.

“Camz.. are you okay?”

I just look at her with my blurry eyes and she knows what’s happening. She wraps her arms around my, releasing endorphins into my body, immediately making me calmer. She then led me to the couch, still wrapping her arms around me while we sit.

After what took about 15 minutes, my breathing finally becomes normal, she releases her hold and lean back.

She takes her phone out and punch a few numbers. She brings her phone to her ear while still holding me with her other arm.

“Hey Dinah… Yeah I know… I can’t come today… I’ll go tomorrow… I’m sorry… It’s just that this is more important… I’ll record it tomorrow… Can you tell the producers I’m sorry… Yeah, thanks.”

And with that, she puts her phone back to her back pocket and continues putting her energy on trying to calm me.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter.

“What? Why?”

“I’m sorry I called you. I’m sure you would’ve preferred doing anything else than this. I’m also sorry that I didn’t listen to you when you warned me about her. If I listened, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“What happened?”

“You haven’t checked your social media?” I ask.

“No?”

“Well, long story short, the girl I hooked up with took a picture of me whilst I was asleep and posted them so now, everyone knows I hooked with a girl.”

“Damn… Was that why you had a panic attack? The fact that you got outed?”

“I mean, honestly, I don’t mind that part.. It wasn’t how I pictured it but it was long overdue. I just don’t know how the management will react. I have a feeling that they’re gonna call me for a meeting or something soon.”

“Well, you know what?” She asks rhetorically, reaching out to take my phone from the coffee table, shutting it off before putting it back, “today’s your last day before you have to go back on the road, they can’t take that away from you. So what do you wanna do today?”

“I was planning on having a lazy day before performing tomorrow.”

“Then we’ll do just that,” she responds, leaning against the couch, turning on the TV in front of us with the remote.

“Wait.. You’re staying?”

“Yeah? Why not?”

“I-” I start, “nevermind.”

She lets it go and just watches the TV. We fell into a comfortable silence. I don’t know what happened but at one point, our shoulders touch, causing warmth to spread through my body. The simplest touch could do this to me, imagine if we were kissing.

We spent about an hour staring at the TV, barely talking. But I wasn’t even watching the show, I was busy side-eyeing Lauren’s profile subtly.

“You know, staring is deemed rude in some culture..” she says at one point, still watching whatever’s in front of her.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I was just joking. Actually, please stare some more, it’s actually boosting my self-esteem,” she jokingly says as she turns her head to me.

“Jerk..” I say, causing her to laugh loudly.

Her laugh dies down after a minute. We just sat there, looking at each other. The mood shifts suddenly when she asks, “did you remember what happened yesterday?”

“Barely.. I drank a tad bit much.”

“Uhh, well.. Do you remember when we played Truth or Dare?”

I crack my head open, trying to recall everything that happened. Luckily, I begin to remember chronologically instead of those typical flashes of scattered memory that just makes people’s head spin some more. I smile as I remember Normani and Dinah kissing like there was no tomorrow.

But then.. Lauren. My heart constricts as I recall what Lucy said. The memory seemed vivid enough and I can’t help but feel hurt again. I know it happened a long time ago, but it still didn’t help. It felt like Lauren is now deliberately scratching my almost dried bruise, making the bruise raw again.

“I’m sorry,” she releases. She probably knows what I’m thinking about from my facial expression, “I wanted to tell you. But-”

“When?”

“What?” She cocks her head, narrowing her eyes as a sign of confusion.

“You said you planned on telling me. When did you plan it?” I raise one of my leg up to the couch so I could fully turn towards her.

She looks dumbfounded, she didn’t anticipate that I was going to ask that. I knew she just wanted to say what I want to hear. If it wasn’t for Lucy, I probably wouldn’t have known.

She said we were best friends, even before we happened. But why was Lucy never a subject? Were we even friends in the first place? If so, why didn’t I know jackshit about this?

“I thought so,” I sigh, defeated. “You weren’t really sorry for not telling me, you were sorry that you got caught. It’s different.”

She looks down at her knotted fingers, a few tears seem to flow down her cheeks to her jaw, collecting tears at her chin.

“But it’s okay,” I began, making her snap her head in my direction, “it doesn’t really matter now anymore.” Her hopeful expression faded at my last statement.

It’s true though. As much as I’m mad about it, what good would it do to dwell on it further? Yes, I feel betrayed and deceived, but at the end of the day, Lucy is still her endgame. So why the hell would it matter if they had history before?

“Yeah..” she sighs.

“On a more pleasant note, Im glad you found your The One,” I smile, a sad one but a smile nevertheless, “Remember when we were 15 and 16? We dreamed about being famous. We talked about boys and how you want to marry the person who you know before we were well-known. You also wanted the person to be so similar to you, having the same thoughts and knowledge. I’m glad that Lucy reaches all your expectations, eventhough she’s a girl.”

She laughs softly now, tears still streaming down her face, “Indirectly, I think I was talking about you. We-”

“Stop,” I interrupt, “just stop.” I was hurt already, I don’t think I need another trip down memory lane. I’m emotionally tired. I’m already in pain. I feel so drained already and it’s still a little after 2pm. My brain is pounding, my heart is aching painfully, I’m looking at the girl that got away. What good would it do to talk about the days where everything was fine - great even - and simple?

���Sorry..” she mutters.

And at that, we continue watching the movie. But the stupid elephant was back and just stared at us. The tension was thick and I felt the need to lighten the situation.

“You wanna try writing on a song together?” Just yesterday, we made a deal to write a song together so why not do it now?

“You wanna do it now?” she asks.

“Now is as good as any.” I walk to my room, only to come back with a pen and my journal. The journal has a few deep entries but most of them were just ramblings and scattered song lyrics I don’t really use. The journal is leathery and white, with my name imprinted in front of the book.

I place the journal down at the coffee table and slide down to sit on the carpeted floor. She followed suit, causing our knees to brush each other. I move my knees up so it doesn’t touch, to somewhat create a barrier between her and me. She frowned when she realized what I’m doing but said nothing.

“So what song do you want it to be about?” I ask as I open to a fresh page, free from any type of ink.

“Love,” she says without a beat,.

“What about love?”

“A dead relationship,” she says with such simplicity. I squint my eyes, confused as to why she wants to write that since there’s nothing wrong with their relationship. Just as I want to ask she beats me to it by interpolating, “it’s not based on Lucy, it’s based on any relationship in general. An internal battle between whether they should break up or not.”

“Right,” I say, still unconvinced but decidedly lets it go.

We spend at about 30 minutes discussing about the base of the song.

Lauren’s phone rang from her back pocket. She takes it out, Lucy’s name temporarily imprinted on the phone.

“Hey baby… Oh, I’m at Camila’s.. Oh, okay.. Yeah, I don’t mind, take your time. We’re just chilling here so it’s okay.. Yeah, alright… You too,” she says through the phone. I can’t really hear the other side of that conversation so I don’t really know what’s happening. She ends the call after that, putting her phone on top of the coffee table.

“Lucy?” I say in the least noisiest way possible.

“Yeah, she said a friend is in LA and they’re going out.” This was another thing I see in Lauren. The amount of trust she has on Lucy is huge.

Back when we were together, it was hard. Lauren was a very possessive person and she was jealous at the littlest thing I do. We fought about it a lot; whether it’s about a guy I clearly have no interest in like Shawn or a girl I only see as a friend like Ariana or Taylor. No matter what I do to try to reassure her, she was too hard-headed to trust me.

Hell, even now… Just two days ago, she was jealous of Ariana. It kind of hurts, knowing that Lauren has never trusted me the way she trusts Lucy.

We spent the next few hours conveying our thoughts and feelings to the song. It was easy writing with her, probably because we have some kind of bond that I don’t seem to have with the other songwriters I’ve worked with. Lauren understands me to a personal level and vice versa.

At the end of the day, we seem to be pretty proud of our creation - or our baby if you must.

The only obstacle now is how to convince the label to include Lauren for the song. I want her on it because she deserves it just as much, if not more.

[hearts-shinhwa]

ever since their weekly idol episode i've gotten hooked (finished watching the 3 seasons of sb in 3 days) they're extremely hilarious :-( i'm actually 18 this year (which makes eric a whole 2 decades older than me o god) & i ult a 3rd generation boy group, so i don't have any friends to share shinhwa jokes with (my fav is hyesung's 나도 아뿌다) do u think i could still be a shcj? also do the members have any personal sns accounts like twt or instagram? thank u!!

Just so you know I’m only 3 years older than you XDDD I don’t have any friends in school who like Shinhwa either, most of them mainly like the current idol groups or the 2nd generation groups. I’ve always been fangirling on my own (& with my Mum lol) until I started this blog, and actually became brave enough to interact with people on the internet. That was 4 years ago now.. (I was a goody two shoes who was taught not to talk to strangers online lol) But hey, I walked out of my box, made really great friends from the fandom, the best friends in fact, here on Tumblr. From then on, I created another Shinhwa Twitter account and made friends with even more SHCJs, whom I could spazz over Shinhwa with 24/7 literally. So really, all you need to do is try to open up yourself and mix with SHCJs online, I’m always around if you need someone to spazz with~~ XD And OF COURSE! You can still be a SHCJ, heck anyone from anywhere, of any age can too! 

Yes they have personal SNS accounts:

Instagram:

Junjin: https://www.instagram.com/junjinreal/?hl=en

Minwoo: https://www.instagram.com/mstyle79/?hl=en

Hyesung: https://www.instagram.com/delight.hs/?hl=en (not exactly personal)

Facebook:

Dongwan: He is on temporary hiatus, so his accounts aren’t visible right now. His name on FB is Dongwan Kim, and Dane Kim. He’s got 2 accs, 1 is to interact with fans, another is his personal acc.

Junjin: https://www.facebook.com/JunJin.official/ (Part official part personal acc)

Twitter:

Junjin: https://twitter.com/JunJin_official (Not exactly personal too. He links his instagram & facebook posts to his twitter.)

Eric: https://twitter.com/EJ_ENT (It’s his official acc, but he does post stuff on it at times)

Weibo: (These are pretty much untouched for quite a while lol)

Andy: http://www.weibo.com/andyofficial?sudaref=www.google.com.sg&retcode=6102

Minwoo: http://www.weibo.com/u/5608022531?sudaref=www.google.com.sg&retcode=6102&nick=mstyle79

Dongwan: http://www.weibo.com/u/5767916485?is_all=1

Junjin: http://www.weibo.com/JUNJINREAL

Dongwan’s personal Youtube & Vimeo channels: (He likes filming & editing videos, and post them on these sites)

YT: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNwjaN9w8W2RnZqbE4A0UcA/feed/

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/user45731697