#i've been told dreaming's free
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I know undiagnosed depression is a hell of a thing but it sucks so bad to be on the end of someone telling you that they feel that they can't ever do anything right for you, and for it to be your own ma to boot
#this sucks major ass#i just wanna be stresss free for 5 minutes#i dont know how to help her anymore#or if I've been some secret part of the problem all along#maybe those dreams where her ex husband told me i couldnt help her with shit were true huh ahahhahas#rant //)#vent //)#mental health//
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I really hope I don't forget to do a voice comparison thing when I go on T
Although, I do have some clips of my voice already, so if I do forget then I can use those đȘ
Also when I get top surgery, I'll do shirtless pics after the scars heal up!!
(I had to wear my binder for a long time yesterday, I was so sweaty đ don't wear your binders for too long because it can also constrict your breathing! Also I tried using the trans tape stuff but... I move around a lot and it's not sticky enough for me hrrrghhhh đ)
#tippy rambles#trans stuff#i had a dream my voice was deeper but i sounded like peanut butter gamer- and i tried to pull a prank on a pizza place to make them think i-#-was him so i could get free pizza (i don't think he gets free pizza but it was worth a shot) then they told me to turn around and look-#-at the sky- there was this scary looking spaceship and i was like whoa wtf#I've been having pretty weird dreams for the past 4 nights đ
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16 I've Been Told Dreaming's Free
Charlotte and Jerry get closer.
Charlotte sighed as she dropped heavily onto her bed and leaned over to untie her boots and take them off. âSo just âŠbe here. What does that look like?â
Jerry opened a cupboard and took down two mismatched mugs. He poured coffee into both of them and brought them to the bed. He sat down beside her and handed her one of the mugs. âI donât know what it looks like. It looks like me hanging out with you here. You know, the Music Bank is kinda crowded. I like it here.â
With the mug gripped in both hands, Charlotte listened. âSo, like friends? Weâre friends.â
âYeah. I mean we were friends in the darkroom that day, too. Werenât we?â
She blushed and murmured, âI guess.â Charlotte sipped her coffee and then put the mug down on her nightstand. âIâm gonna take this dress off. You wanna find a record or something?â
His eyebrows shot up. âSure.â
âI mean Iâm gonna put something else on!â Charlotte giggled nervously.
âI know.â
While Charlotte was in the bathroom, she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and took her make-up off and then changed into pink flannel pajamas. When she opened the door, she found Jerry stretched out on her bed in his t-shirt and jeans and socked feet. He chose an Aerosmith record and was reading the sleeve.
âGood choice,â Charlotte commented as she climbed up on the bed and sat cross-legged beside Jerry.
âMy, uh, my momâs boyfriend loves Aerosmith.â
âThatâs cool. My parents donât really listen to anything newer than the Beatles. Although, my mom likes Donny and Marie.â
Jerry chuckled and turned his head to look at her. âDonny and Marie?â
âYeah, you know, the Osmonds.â
âI know the Osmonds. I just thought like thatâs a strange choice.â
âTheyâre old.â
âHow old?â
âI donât know. My dadâs like fifty-three or something. Why? How oldâs your mom?â
âForty.â
âOh. Oh, wow. Thatâs âŠâ
âYoung?â Jerry chuckled.
âI guess.â
âThey were younger than I am now when they had me and got married. In that order.â
Charlotte nodded as she unfolded her legs and moved onto her side, facing Jerry. âWhat happened? I mean why arenât they together anymore if you donât mind me asking?â
âMy dad âŠuh, he like really freaked out after he came home from Vietnam. I was like barely a year old when he left and when he came back âŠmessed up. So my mom divorced him and we moved in with my grandma.â
âIâm sorry, Jerry. Thatâs awful. Is he âŠdoes your dad live around here?â
He shook his head. âMoved back to Oklahoma with my little brother.â
âOh, wow. That sucks.â
He put the record sleeve down and turned onto his side, facing Charlotte. There was a softness in his eyes that made Charlotteâs breath catch. âI like your pajamas,â he whispered as he reached out and touched her sleeve.
âThanks. Hope you donât mind.â
âMind what?â
âYou know, I took my make-up off and stuff.â
He didnât answer her as he wriggled closer and wound his arm around her back and tucked his head under her chin. Charlotte gasped softly and tensed for a moment. The heat from Jerryâs hand soaking through the flannel and warming her back felt amazing and she slowly relaxed. Her arms wound around Jerry and she lightly rubbed his back.
After a few quiet moments, Jerry said, âPretty fucked up what Stone did.â
âI know.â
âDonât be too hard on him, though. Heâs a good dude.â
âHe thinks youâre a jerk.â
âYeah, well âŠmost people do.â
âThatâs what I donât get, Jerry. Like, youâre obviously not. Why do so many people say all that stuff about you?â
âWhat stuff?â
Charlotte stammered a little. âYou know, like you donât date.â
âI donât.â
âWhy not?â
âI donât know.â
The record stopped and Jerry wriggled out of Charlotteâs arms to get up and flip it over.
âAre we dating?â
âChuck, I donât know. Can we talk about something else, please?â
She watched his eyes dart around the room, looking everywhere except at her. His hands raked through his hair. âDo you want a hair tie?â Charlotte didnât wait for an answer. She quickly got up and went into the bathroom again. When she turned to step back out, hair tie in hand, she walked right into Jerry. âWhat - ?â
âI have a hard time with this stuff, okay?â he blurted out as he took her by the shoulders. âI just want to be here, with you. I like you, Chuck. Things are âŠeasy with you. Youâre not easy. I mean youâre a total pain in the ass sometimes. But itâs easy living in my own skin around you.â He took the hair tie from her hand and then took a step backward, reaching up and pulling his hair back.
Charlotte stood there, frozen, too stunned to speak. A slow smile spread across her lips. It was the most honest, sweetest thing anyoneâs ever said to her. Taking a step toward him, she brought her hands to his face and rolled up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I donât think itâs as easy for me. But Iâm not really complaining.â
His arms circled around her, holding her tight and preventing her from sinking back down on her heels. âWhat do you mean?â And he kissed her.
âI mean,â she kissed him again. âI get nervous. Like sick-to-my-stomach nervous.â
Jerry chuckled quietly. âWhy?â
Charlotte squirmed out of his arms and returned to the bed. âCause I like you. And I never liked a boy before. Unless you count Paul McCartney.
âMe and Paul McCartney?â He stretched out on the bed again, settling on his side and propping his head up on his elbow. âThatâs some competition.â
Charlotte mirrored Jerry. âYes, but you have an advantage.â
âI do?â
She nodded and leaned in for a kiss. âYouâre here.â
Jerry wound his arm around her back again and returned the kiss. When his tongue touched her lip, Charlotte let him slip it into her mouth. After a few moments, she found herself on her back, wrapping her arms around Jerryâs neck and pulling him on top of her. Jerry kissed her deeply while he gently slid one hand under her pajama top.
With the exception of Jerryâs jeans, all clothing remained on. He stayed the night and they slept in until about 10:30. Charlotte left Jerry sleeping while she brushed her teeth and took a shower. She was just scribbling a note, telling Jerry she was going to get breakfast, when he stirred.
âWhatâre you doing?â he mumbled as he stretched and rubbed his eyes.
âFood.â
âGimme a sec, Iâll come with you.â
âI can bring it back here.â
He flopped back down to the pillows. âYouâre the fucking best.â
Charlotte kissed his cheek. âBetter believe it.â
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I seriously hope you can job hop to something else cause you're not chaotic neutral man.
You're still a white Canadian whose actions and job help more the megacorps keep the status quo.
I really looked up to you but that's on me.
And yeah, I know security, cop shit and military pay good money but at the cost of my people? Fuck no.
Listen. I feel you. But there's a lot of cold, power-tripping bastards in this line of work and if I stick where I am then they don't get to have that.
I'm not a cop. I am not beholden to the justice system. Sometimes I get contracted out to people who say shit like "addicts should be put down, if you see any crackheads drag them out" and I nod and say "yes sir", and then I take their money and use it to buy those people coffee and a sandwich and tell 'em when free lunch days are at the church.
Boss sees me walking with someone and thinks I'm kicking them out, gives my boss great reviews. I'm having a great conversation with Connie, who used to by a stylist and wound up on the street after an accident that left her with chronic pain and a heroin addiction. Connie learns that there's a gap between two property lines nearby where technically nobody can call to have her removed.
There's a really sweet guy in town who's normally very nice, but sometimes flies into paranoid rage and yells slurs at people. Sometimes he forgets he's been banned from places and wanders in looking for a wife he hasn't had for nine years. Owner sends me to kick him out, and I ask "hey Mike, how are you?" And see where we are today.
One time there was a guy whose abusive ex kept following him to work, and I got to walk him to his car at the end of every day to make sure she couldn't get him alone.
Another person had a stalker who kept asking receptionists when she was gonna be there, when she was supposed to leave, if she was in today. I'd keep record of every time he came in, every time someone saw him, every time he violated his restraining order or damaged her things.
And when I wonder if I'm actually helping or not, or if I'm part of the greater problem, I remember that other people who work with me call homeless people wildlife and talk about how bad they wanna get an excuse to fight someone and I remember that I'm the one who knows where the blind spots on the cameras are, and thank God it's not him.
My position is fundamentally different from that of the military or law enforcement. I don't *need* to be buddy-buddy with most of these dickheads- I don't *need* to send people into the justice system.
I do single-person foot patrol. Nobody cares how I get the job done. They say, "Hey, faceless goon number three- make that bastard disappear" and I say "on it, boss" and give him tickets to disney world.
I once asked another guard if he knew that one of our regulars used to be an airplane technician. He said, "No, I don't talk to them". Blanket "Them". "Them" as in street people. "Them" as in addicts, or shoplifters, or ex-cons, or sex workers.
I asked why, and he told me, "it's easier if you don't think of them as people."
Anyhow, now I get calls to "watch that sketchy lady who just came in" and I say, "yes, sir" and leave her the fuck alone, 'cause that's Jolene, and people always think she's on drugs and aggressive but she's just deaf in one ear and slurs cause she has brain damage, you dickhead
so yeah, don't worry, I've spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of my vocation, and I still think I'd rather be in charge of my locations than someone like Darryl, who dreams of "cuffing a perp" and drives a car with Punisher decals on the hood
Also it's minimum wage but that's kinda tangential
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Hi, hope youâre well! Saw your request for angst ideas. If youâre interested: Reader has been part of the Inner Circle for years, like an og member. Post war she watches Az fall in love with Elaine or Gwyn. Sheâs known theyâre mates, but heâs always told her he loves her as a friend, and nobody else knows theyâre mates. She watches as his relationship grows, maybe theyâre having a kid or whatever, this can be all the angst you see fit. Sheâs finally had enough and decides to leave (either for work as an emissary or for herself). Maybe as she starts to rebuild, Az and the IC realize how much her loss impacts them. But when they go see her, sheâs thriving. Ending can be whatever floats your boat, maybe sheâs with Eris or thriving in Day as Lucienâs advisor, or something else all together.
To Love and Let Go
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: An unrequited love, and a one sided mating bond. What will reader do when she can no longer watch Azriel fall for another female who isnât her?
Wc: 2.9k (gah dayum)
A/N: ok, this is the longggest fic I've written to date, but I don't hate it...and I may be persuaded to write a part two with multiple endings bcs I'm indecisive asf. Requests are still open and highly encouraged since I'm on break and have a bunch of free time, clearly.
__
The stars are mocking tonight, their gleam far too bright for the storm brewing inside you. Velaris has always been beautiful, but tonight the city feels suffocating. The laughter of your family echoes around the River Houseâs dining room, filling the space with warmth and joy.
You sit at the edge of the long table, wine in hand, your smile carefully in place. Cassian is in the middle of one of his stories, something about Azriel and a drunken spar decades ago. The table erupts in laughter, and you canât help but glance at him.
Azriel sits across from you, his shoulders relaxed, his shadows soft and relaxed as they curl lazily around him. Heâs laughingâquiet and rare, but enough to tug at your chest in a way youâve never been able to stop.
Beside him, Gwyn is radiant. She laughs, bright and genuine, her hand resting on his arm as though itâs the most natural thing in the world. His hand shifts, fingers brushing over hers in a way thatâs intimate, tender. Simple. Devastating.
You lift your wine to your lips and down the rest of the glass in one burning gulp.
Youâve known for years that Azriel isnât yours to have. When the Cauldron whispered of your bond, it hadnât been the joyous revelation youâd dreamed of. Instead, it had been a curse.
You feel it even nowâthat golden thread tying your soul to his, pulling taut every time you see him. But Azriel never acknowledged it, not once. How could he when he didn't even know it existed?
âYouâre my best friend,â heâd told you long ago, sitting beside you on a rooftop in Velaris, the two of you cloaked in silence and shadows. âI donât know what Iâd do without you.â
And youâd smiled. Smiled and tucked the truth deeper inside yourself, burying it so far down you almost convinced yourself it wasnât real. Almost.
The conversation shifts around you, but the words blur together, distant and unimportant. You force yourself to stay, to laugh when youâre supposed to, to nod in all the right places.
Across the table, Gwyn leans closer to Azriel, whispering something in his ear. He smiles at her, that soft, secret smile youâve seen so many times over the years. But itâs never been for you.
The ache in your chest spreads, sharp and relentless, until you canât bear it any longer. You push your chair back, the legs scraping loudly against the floor.
âEverything okay?â Mor asks, her brows furrowing as she studies you.
You nod quickly, forcing a tight smile. âJust need some air.â
No one questions you, and youâre grateful for it. You slip out of the room and onto the balcony, the cool night air rushing to meet you. The stars stretch endlessly above, and for a moment, you close your eyes and pretend this life isnât yours.
But the bond hums faintly in the back of your mind, tethering you to someone who will never feel the same way.
â
You grip the balcony railing, the cool metal grounding you as you draw in a shaky breath. The quiet should feel peaceful, but it doesnât. Not with the sound of their laughter spilling through the open door behind you, not with the bond thrumming painfully in the back of your mind.
Youâve endured this for years. Watching Azriel laugh, fight, live, all while pretending your heart doesnât shatter every time he smiles at someone who isnât you. Gwyn. Elain before her, and Mor long before that. All the women who could never feel what you feel for himâbut were lucky enough to have his attention anyway.
And then thereâs you, his best friend. The one he trusts, confides in, leans on. Just never in the way you ache for. Even before the bond snapped, youâd been in love with the Shadowsinger. He was always the calm amongst the chaos of your family, the one you could seek refuge in.
The sound of footsteps interrupts your thoughts. You donât need to look to know itâs him. His shadows reach you first, curling gently around your wrist, hesitant and curious. They always do that, as if they sense the things he doesnât.
âAre you okay?â Azrielâs voice is soft, warm in a way that makes it harder to breathe.
You release the railing and turn to face him, your mask firmly in place. âIâm fine. Just needed a moment.â
His brows pull together, his hazel eyes studying you in that unrelenting way of his. âYouâve seemed⊠distracted tonight.â
You force a laugh, shaking your head. âIâm not distracted. Just tired, thatâs all.â The lie was easy on your tongue, a lie youâve repeated more times than you can count.
His shadows shift, curling tighter around you. âYou can tell me if somethingâs wrong,â he says, his voice low, careful.
You want to laugh again. Wrong? Everything is wrong. Your mate is standing in front of you, looking at you with concern while his love sits inside, waiting for him. He doesnât even feel the bond thatâs been tearing you apart for years. How could you possibly tell him the truth?
âIâm fine, Az,â you say again, stepping back, putting distance between you. âGo back inside. Gwynâs probably wondering where you are.â
Something flickers across his face, but itâs gone before you can place it. He hesitates, his shadows brushing against your hand one last time before retreating.
âAll right,â he says quietly. But he doesnât look convinced.
You watch him go, his wings casting long shadows across the balcony as he disappears into the house. The bond hums faintly, pulling at your heart even as you stand there alone.
â
A part of you wants to blame yourself for never telling him about the mating bond. It was known Azriel always longed for a mate, so much so he had made the bold claim of Elain being his mate once upon a time. Now, he's with Gwyn under that same notion. Unfortunately, your heart had wanted him to love you without the influence of the bond.
Your thoughts persist as you force your eyes shut, trying and failing to fall asleep.
Instead, you lie awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling as the weight of it all presses down on you. Youâve built your entire life around the Inner Circle, around him. And for what? To watch him build a life with someone else? To keep breaking your own heart over and over again?
No.
When dawn comes, the decision is already made.
â
âAre you sure about this?â Feyre asks, her hand resting lightly on your arm.
You stand in the foyer of the River House, your bags already packed and waiting by the door. The soft morning light filters through the windows, casting golden hues over everything. It should feel warm. Comforting. But all you feel is the ache of goodbye.
âIâm sure,â you say, and your voice doesnât waver.
Rhysand stands a few paces away, arms crossed, his violet eyes sharp and assessing. You were like a sister to him, someone heâd protected and seen through every phase of life. âYou donât have to do this,â he says gently. âWe can figure something out. If you need time off, time for yourselfââ
âI need more than time, Rhys,â you interrupt, forcing a small smile to soften the blow. âI need space. A fresh start. This is the right move for me.â
Youâd rehearsed this conversation a dozen times, carefully framing your departure as a professional opportunity. An emissary position in Day Court. Helion had been eager to accept your offer, praising your skills and promising a new challenge that you could sink your teeth into.
It wasnât a lie. You would thrive in Day Court. But it wasnât the whole truth either.
Feyreâs grip on your arm tightens, her lips pressing together as if sheâs holding back an argument. âI just⊠I donât want you to feel like youâre running away,â she says softly.
You glance past her, your eyes catching on the open archway leading to the dining room. You can feel him in there, his shadows faint even from this distance. The bond pulls, a sharp tug against your ribs.
âIâm not running away,â you tell her, even though part of you wonders if thatâs exactly what this is. âIâm choosing myself for once.â
Rhys nods slowly, his expression unreadable. âIf thatâs what you need, then we support you. Always.â
A lump rises in your throat, but you swallow it down, turning to hug Feyre. âThank you. For everything.â
â
Azriel watches from the shadows of the dining room as you leave. He doesnât mean to linger there, doesnât mean to eavesdropâbut he canât help it.
He hears Feyreâs quiet goodbye, Rhysâs reassurances. He sees the way your shoulders straighten as you step out the door, as if youâre carrying a weight none of them can understand.
Something twists in his chest, sharp and unfamiliar.
He doesnât understand it. Youâve left Velaris before, gone on missions and trips for weeks at a time. But this feels⊠different. Permanent.
For a moment, he almost steps forward, almost calls out to you. But then the door closes, and youâre gone.
â
The Day Court is a world apart from Velaris.
Here, the sun always seems to shine, casting a golden glow over Helionâs sprawling palace. Itâs vibrant, full of life, and for the first time in years, you feel as though you can finally breathe.
Helion welcomes you with open arms, praising your work and throwing you headfirst into new projects. The days are busy, your nights peaceful, and slowlyâvery slowlyâthe ache in your chest begins to fade.
You make new allies and friends. Lucien, especially, becomes an unexpected source of comfort. He understands unspoken bonds, the pain of being tied to someone who doesnât want you. For the first few weeks, most, if not all your time was spent by his side.
âYouâre free now,â he tells you one evening, the two of you sitting on a balcony overlooking the Day Court gardens. His amber eyes glint in the fading sunlight. âIt doesnât feel like it yet, but it will. One day.â
You smile, a real smile, and let the words settle in your chest.
â
Back in Velaris, the Inner Circle feels the void youâve left behind. Cassian complains loudly during training sessions about how things donât run as smoothly without you. Mor keeps suggesting trips to Day Court, half-joking but half-serious. Even Feyre finds herself reaching for you during meetings, only to realize youâre no longer there.
And AzrielâŠ
Azriel notices most of all.
He misses the quiet way you steadied him, the way you always seemed to know what he needed before he did. The balance you brought to the group. To him.
At first, he tells himself itâs just an adjustment. Youâll be back eventually. But as the weeks stretch into months, he begins to realize just how deeply your absence has cut into his life.
The shadow of the bond hums faintly in the back of his mind, but he doesnât understand why.
Not yet.
â
Itâs Feyre who suggests the trip.
âYouâve been working too hard,â she tells Azriel, shooting him with a look that leaves no room for argument. âWe all have. A visit to Day Court will do us some good. Besides, itâs been too long since weâve seen her.â
Azriel hesitates but eventually agrees. He tells himself itâs curiosity, that he just wants to see how youâre settling in. Since youâve left his relationship with everyone, Gywn especially, has grown distant. He tries to find you in her, comparing the small things that shouldnât matterâand every time it only makes his heart sink.
When they arrive, they find you in the Day Court gardens, laughing at something Lucien has said. The sunlight catches in your hair, your face glowing with a happiness Azriel hasnât seen in years.
The gardens are breathtaking, a vibrant sprawl of golden blooms and gleaming fountains that seem to echo the brilliance of the sun overhead. But Azriel doesnât see any of it.
His focus is entirely on you.
You look radiant, the golden hues of Day Court seeming to highlight the confidence youâve gained in your time away.
Lucien leans closer, his expression soft yet intent, and the sight makes something dark and ugly twist in Azrielâs chest. Itâs not the first time heâs seen Lucien or been jealous of the male, but thisâthisâfeels different. He used to feel that pang of jealousy when he blindly pined for Elain, now with you it returned with a greater force.
He doesnât understand why these feelings have suddenly spread through him. Youâve always been his friend. His anchor. But as Lucien reaches out to brush a stray hair from your face, Azriel feels like heâs watching something slip through his fingers.
âAz?â Feyreâs voice pulls him back. Sheâs watching him with careful eyes, her brow furrowing.
He shakes his head and straightens his posture, forcing his expression back into neutral territory. âIâm fine.â But he isnât.
Before Feyre can press him further, Lucien notices their approach and gives a low whistle. âWell, well. Velaris sends its finest.â His tone is teasing, but thereâs warmth in his amber eyes as they flick toward you.
You turn, and when your gaze lands on Azriel, your smile falters. Itâs a subtle shift, but he sees it. Feels it.
âRhysand. Feyre. Azriel,â you greet, inclining your head slightly, your voice polite but distant. As if they were strangers and not the family you chose all those centuries ago.
He hates it.
The reunion is cordial at first, filled with pleasantries and talk of work. Lucien stands close to you, his presence steady, his hand occasionally brushing yours in a way that grounds you. Azrielâs shadows stir restlessly, but he forces them into submission.
âYouâve done well here,â Feyre says warmly, her gaze sweeping over the garden. âIt suits you.â
âThank you.â Your smile is genuine, though it doesnât quite reach Azriel. âHelion has been⊠generous with his trust.â
âAnd with his emissaryâs time,â Lucien adds, grinning at you. âSheâs a natural. Canât imagine how Day Court managed before she arrived.â
The praise makes you duck your head slightly, a faint blush blooming across your cheeks. Azrielâs jaw tightens.
âSounds like youâve been keeping busy,â he says, his voice lower than usual.
Your eyes flick to him briefly before turning back to Lucien, but thereâs something guarded in your expression. âI have. Itâs been⊠fulfilling.â
The word stings more than it should.
â
Eventually, Feyre and Rhys drift away with Lucien, leaving you and Azriel alone amidst the golden flowers. The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words.
âYouâve been⊠different,â he says finally, breaking the silence.
You glance at him, your arms folding across your chest. âDifferent how?â
He hesitates, searching for the right words. âHappier,â he admits.
The softness in his voice almost makes you falter, but you stand your ground. âI am,â you say simply.
His shadows curl around his feet, agitated. âYou left so suddenly,â he says, his tone sharper now. âOne day you were there, and the next you were⊠gone. No warning. No explanation.â
You raise an eyebrow, bitterness creeping into your voice. âI told you I needed space. I told all of you.â You pause for a second, staring at a cluster of white lilies. âWhy does it matter now, Azriel?â
âBecause I miss you,â he says, the words raw and unguarded. âWe all do. But me⊠Iââ He stops himself, jaw clenching.
You laugh softly, but itâs a hollow, bitter sound. âYou miss me now? After Iâve finally started to find peace? After youâve built a life with Gwyn?â
His shadows surge forward, brushing against your arm, but you shake them off. âDonât do this, Azriel.â
âYouâre my friend,â he says, and the words make your heart twist painfully.
You whirl to face him, your eyes blazing. âNo. I was never just your friend, Azriel. I was your mate.â
The truth spills out before you can stop it, sharp and cutting. He freezes, his expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.
âWhat?â His voice is barely a whisper.
You laugh again, a broken sound. âThe Cauldron tied us together centuries ago, but you never felt it, did you? You never even noticed.â
His shadows pull back, retreating like theyâve been burned. âWhy didnât you tell me?â
âBecause it didnât matter!â you snap, your voice rising. âYou didnât want me that way, Azriel. You never did. And I wasnât about to force something on you that you didnât feel.â
He stares at you, his usually stoic face cracking with something raw and uncertain. âIââ
But you shake your head, cutting him off. âIt doesnât matter anymore. Iâve moved on.â
âYouâve moved on?â he echoes, his gaze flicking toward the direction Lucien went. His voice lowers, dangerous. âWith him?â
âYes,â you say firmly, though the word feels heavy. âBecause he sees me, Azriel. He knows what itâs like to be unwanted. To feel second-best.â
The words are a dagger between you, and you can see the way they strike him, the way his shadows twist and writhe.
âIs that what you think?â he asks quietly, his voice breaking. âThat you were second-best?â
Your throat tightens, but you refuse to back down. âI donât think it. I know it.â
For a moment, neither of you speak. The bond hums faintly in your chest, but itâs different nowâfading, unraveling as you finally let go of the male who could never love you the way you deserved.
âIâm happy here,â you say softly, your voice steady. âAnd you⊠you have Gwyn. You have your life in Velaris. Let that be enough.â
Azriel doesnât argue. He just stands there, his shadows a chaotic storm around him, as you turn and walk away.
This time, you donât look back.
Aaannd scene XOXO ~
#oneshots#scenarios#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel angst#azriel fanfic#lucien vanserra#lucien x reader#azriel x you#request#reqs open#angstmas#azriel acotar#azriel spymaster
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
â 01. IN DREAMS WE REST
a/n: i've been stressed about this fic probably more than any other i've ever written. not because it's logan per se, but because wade wilson makes me want to rip my hair out. i love that bastard, but writing him feels like pulling teeth. i'm in love with this concept solely for the angst, so if you see more throughout and wonder if they will ever get a happy ending, please know i'm dead inside. enjoy!
summary: stuck in another universe and unsure of where he stands, logan expects things to even out as they always did. but when you cross his path and you have no idea who he is, he's in for a rude awakening.
word count: 5.9k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: not explicit, wade wilson breaking the fourth wall, angst, cussing so much cussing, alcohol consumption, grief, pain, a broken man pretending he's not broken, chance encounters, awkward conversations, hope.
NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
He can hear it when he sleeps.
Their screams.
The constant ring of agony that chimes out like a bell, an alarm he never set for himself. A joke once told to him in the midst of World War II, as bullets flew by him and soldiers lost their lives each second of each day. There's no escape from hell. No running from the devil that nipped at his heels the faster he went, the longer he tried to navigate a way free.
There's no escape from the memories that ate away in his mind. Multitudes of them, of the faces he once called family, the people he used to love. They were his punishment. The boulder he continued to roll up the hill, day after day after day. Until eventually...he was crushed by his own self-hatred.
"Logan." The voice whispered long enough for him to grasp who it might be, yet never louder than a mere breath of air.
He clung to it some days. Sunk his claws into what little of his past remained good and allowed it to fill him with some amount of peace. At least then he'd be able to bear this weight, this grief he could never quite name.
Something light brushed across his cheek. Tickling the skin enough to send a flare of irritation down his spine, but the dreams held him in their grasp. What came next never surprised him. He expected it at this pointâlonged for it. The distant pain of losing what once made him whole; the entirety of his life now defined by one single moment he could never change.
"He sleeps so sweetly. I just want to curl up in his arms and have him read me bedtime stories."
"He's not gonna like that when he wakes up."
"Zip it Al. If I wanted an opinion, I'd go see a Hollywood therapist."
A scoff echoed in the background. "No therapist wants you on their couch."
"Not true. I hear Ryan Reynolds has a great one."
"Who?"
"Not the point." The feather dusted across Logan's face again, soft enough to keep him asleep yet annoying enough to bring a smile to Wade's face. "I wonder if he's dreaming about killing bad guys. They say it's good for the soul."
"Who the fuck is they?"
Wade laughed. "Oh you know. Them. The readers. And boy howdy do they love their blood."
Every day he was forced to listen to Wade's voice became another day Logan dragged his claw through a tally mark of his sanity. "Do you ever shut the fuck up," he growled, gripping Wade's wrist until he heard the satisfying crack of bones.
"Only when I swallow."
"I'll tear your fuckin' arm off."
The smile on Wadeâs face only added another tally. "Nice kitty. No need for the claws."
Anger washed across his skin in a familiar wave as he released Wade's arm, watching it go limp. Trying to kill the unkillable walking irritation was like trying to swat a fly that never quite died. It still buzzed incessantly. Until eventually madness was the only viable option of dealing with it. In his case, he seemed to be driving head on with no brakes.
Logan wasn't sure he possessed enough sanity left within him to keep dealing with this. Sleeping on the couch didn't help the way his body never rested; always stuck in that permanent fighting mode. He'd give anything to find some peace. A small sliver of it carved off the past that continued to call himâthat begged him to come back and try again.
Swinging his legs off the couch, he planted a swift kick to Wade's chest that sent him across the floor. The lack of caffeine in his system left everything hazy and half coherent. If he focused he might have caught the keys thrown at him, but being exhausted and sober didn't make for a good combination with him. An empty whiskey bottle lay discarded on the floor from last night; the memories of how he passed out barely tinged on the edge of his mind.
He could recall stabbing Wade in the leg.
Nothing beyond that.
Dried bloodânow an ugly brownâstained his white shirt. He nearly stripped himself of it, prepared to throw it in with whoever was washing next, but his flannel being chucked at his head caught him off guard.
"Fuck off," he snapped, stumbling to the kitchen.
Wade sighed, following him. "Get dressed, peanut. We have to go do human things today."
"Humanââ
"Food," Al retorted. "We're out."
Even in a new universe, he couldn't see himself acting normal. For so long he did what had to in order to survive. Yet now...he wasn't so sure. Accompanying Wade Wilson in order to complete household chores left a bad taste in his mouth. But the thought of fresh coffee and an unopened bottle of whiskey sounded like sweet silver bells in his head.
With reluctance, he buttoned up half of the flannel before he became annoyed with the small size of the holes punched into the fabric. There was only so much he could do with the life he had now. And sometimes shit really sucked.
"Don't scratch my fucking car," Al pointed her words towards Wade, thankfully ignoring Logan's existence for a brief moment.
"Is it safe for her to own a car?"
The door shut behind him with a bang, echoing down the vacant hallway. He was surprised people actually lived here given Wade's antics. They could hear the loud mouthed fucker across the streetâif the angry notes in the mail were anything to go by. He didn't bother asking if he should be concerned with any of it. Not when he had no say in how the house was run. And choosing to insert himself where he wasnât needed, rarely went well for him.
"God no. But I give her the benefit of the doubt. She hasn't killed anyone. Yet."
He yanked the keys out of Wade's hand. "Yeah well I don't trust you either Bub."
The car didn't leave room for his legs as he squeezed into the driver's side. His body practically folded in half as he turned it overâthe rumble of the engine rattling against metal. How Blind Al managed to pay for this vehicle went beyond even Wade's knowledge, and in all honestyâŠhe was too fucking scared to ask.
Too much seemed to be happening for him to ever catch up. While this Earth felt similar to his, small things were different. And when they began to add up...he began to wonder if he was drowning.
"Turn left to merge onto the asscrack of traffic."
He barely heard the directions as he drove, his mind drifting the further they went. Part of him sensed the grief from earlier begin to claw up the back of his throat. It begged him to fall, to be swallowed whole by the darkness he'd been stuck in before. And he nearly gave in; could feel his body shift into its constant mode of fight or flight.
The steering wheel cracked under his white knuckled grip as Wade's voice became an afterthought to the war he fought in his mind. Terror trapped itself in his throat and he slammed his foot on the brakes a foot away from a parking spot in retaliation. The car lurched forward, his claws descended. A snarl rumbled in his chest the longer he sat there thinking.
"Woah..." For the first time in days, Wade fell silent. "You alright?"
Logan ripped himself free, shoving his body out of the car before he even threw it in park. He gulped in breath after breath and did his best to wait for this fucking feeling to leave his system. The nightmares only came as he slept. A constant familiar horror show after two centuries.
Yet now he was left like this. Leaned up against a car, his eyes closed shut, and heart racing.
All because he couldn't do his fucking job.
"Loganâ"
He snapped, shoving past Wade and his pity that choked him with a vengeance. He didn't deserve anyone's pity. He didn't want it. But people couldn't help but hand it over unconsciously. As if they could see the layers of broken pieces beneath his false expression of strength. Logan never pretended to be okay. Why bother with something people could see right through?
He merely wanted others to ignore he was there. Walk past him, look through him, do whatever it took to pretend that him and all his tragedies weren't standing before them. Because one day he would die and fuck how he couldn't wait for that time to come.
A small hole in the wall dive bar sat in the corner of the shopping center. He barely caught sight of it. But the unmistakable scent of alcohol poured out the door as someone stumbled outâtheir eyes squeezed shut against the harsh brightness of the sun. He could understand them in a way.
His world didn't have sunlight this bright. Or perhaps he never noticed it âtil now.
Maybe his body wasn't acclimated yet; unsure of what the fuck was still happening. Everything seemed to be turned up to eleven for him, yet no off switch existed.
The dark hazy glow of the interior sent a wave of calm through him as the door swung shut with a soft thud. Four people sat scattered around the place and a bartender with white and graying hair stood cleaning a glass so foggy it was probably better to throw it out. He found himself letting out a breath that'd been trapped in his chest since that morning. Finally some peace before he had to listen to Wade yap about bullshit he didn't in fact give a shit about.
"What'll you have?" the old man asked, his face screwing up in a wince as he limped towards Logan's spot at the end of the bar.
A quick glance down let him see the brace wrapped around the man's knee. "Whiskey on the rocks."
He nodded, slowly heading towards the center of the wallâa lonesome half empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter. Logan shifted, taking the center seat directly behind the man.
"I can't say I've seen you around before son."
He grinned, his finger tracing a random carving that'd been placed in the wood. "I just moved here. Living with a coworker."
"Coworker huh?"
The word didn't sound right to Logan, but he couldn't exactly call Wade his friend. Although they were more than people who fought together, more than men who shared blood during the same battle. That was the thing about Logan though. He'd never be able to put a label on something like that. To him...things weren't one or the other as much as he wanted to pretend they were. There was nuance to his life.
Complications which made living that much harder.
The man turned, surprised to see Logan so close, but didn't make note of it. Logan could see the gratitude in the way his drink was slid carefully to him. The small silent thank you in the bowl of pretzels placed beside it.
"You look lost."
Logan grunted, biting into the salty and dry snack. "Do I?"
"More than some of the others that come around here."
"And who comes around here?"
The man laughed. "No one as of late. You're the first young man I've seen in a while walk through those doors."
He bit back his laugh at the word young. The stories he could tell would leave the man baffled. About wars that no living person had witnessed. About when the world was far different than todayâwhen mutants were freaks of nature and humans were far less forgiving. He could list it all and then some.
But whether or not someone would listen was another thing entirely.
"This place that old?" he inquired, sipping on the amber liquid with a contented sigh.
"Oh you bet." A weary laugh filled the space. "I bought this place in the sixties. When my wife was still my girlfriend. She almost left me because of it."
Logan huffed, his lips curling slightly. "She wasn't a fan?"
The man shook his head, tossing a cloth over his shoulder. "Still isn't. Well she...wasn't." He pressed his thumb to the worn gold band on his left hand. "When she was alive she used to host a book night. Helped bring in the men's wives. Kept them outta trouble."
"Book night huh?"
"She loved to read."
Before he could down the final sips of his drink it was topped off. Logan nodded his head in thanks, his thumb digging into the thumbprint shape of the glass. If he thought about it hard enough, he could almost see himself coming here every night. He pictured a life far different than his own, a past where he might have been happy. With someone who might have even made him smile.
"I'm not much of a reader," he replied, his voice hoarse and eyes fixed on the ice that floated to the surface.
"Ah me too," the man laughed. "I just liked seeing her smile."
A soft remark was on the tip of his tongue before an entirely new image began to take shape. The face of someone lost. Of a smile he'd known better than his own. Hands that once held his face with the tenderness of a loverâa voice that sent the hair rising on the back of his neck. He could see it as clear as he did the man.
You in all your beauty. Lost to a past he could no longer rectify.
He swallowed thickly, beating back every emotion that crawled under his skin. "What's your name?"
"Travis."
Raising his glass, he tipped it towards the man with a tight grin. "Logan." The alcohol went down with a quick and biting burn. A feeling he'd grown familiar with. One he counted on.
"Nice to meet you Logan."
"Yeah you too."
He dug out some cash and tossed it on the bar as he stood with a slight grunt. He may heal quickly but the ache in his bones still existed. As if something resisted against how his body moved with each slow shift.
Fighting meant he could ignore it.
Existing is what made it worse.
The sun practically burned his eyes when he stepped out, the heat of the day encompassing his whole body quicker than he would have liked. For some unknown fucking reason, summer here felt worse than on his Earth. Then again the alcohol didn't help. He stood in the shade of the building next to the bar, searching the parking lot for any sign of Wade.
Going into the store wasn't an option and as much as he wanted to leave the annoyance behind, he didn't want to feel like a piece of shit. That is...even more than he already did.
"Fuck," he hissed, leaning against the brick wall. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
One option would be taking a walk to work off the energy that ran through his veins. At least then he'd be able to sleep at night. And the temptation almost worked. If it weren't for the shop doors that opened to his left, effectively distracting him from the chance of leaving. He could have ignored the person, probably should have given everything he'd been through.
But then his heart dropped to his stomach as you walked out. He'd never seen you in such a soft sundress before, the off white fabric draped off your curves in a way that floored him. As if you were an angel floating by without a care in the world. You were busy shoving a small piece of paper in your purse, your face furrowed in frustration, and Logan smiled. Because he'd traced each line of that face before, he'd kissed those cheeks, your eyelids as you slept.
He'd loved you in ways that would scare a normal human.
And there you were.
"Honey?" he called, unconsciously following you quicker than he intended to. "Honey."
You glanced to the side, completely unaware of the giant lumbering man trailing after you with a soft look on his face and hope in his hands.
That alone tore him in two more than the memories from before.
"Baby, it's me."
The breeze finally went through the air, pushing the skirt of your dress a bit higher on your thighs. Except that's not what he latched onto. Your scent was different. Unlike any he'd encountered before. Honey still sweetly caressed his senses, but flowers overlayed thatâpeonies if he guessed. Delicious enough to have his mouth watering; his body already aching for you to be closer. To look at him in the way you used to.
He wanted to call out to youâgain your attention properlyâbut your name wouldn't leave his tongue. Because you were there and you finally caught sight of him and you were looking at him as if nothing bad ever happened between the two of you.
You saw him as a man.
Not a disappointment.
He willed himself to stop and breathe. Take in his surroundings; realize that you weren't who he once knew. You weren't even the same fucking person.
But before he could think straight, he'd already followed you halfway to your car. His eyes were dazed, heart nearly throttling him alive as he stood there dumbly. Waiting for you to finally speak.
"Oh..." Your heart rate spiked quicker than he expected. He couldn't find it in himself to feel bad though. "Hello?"
"Honey," he sighed, the weight on his shoulders lifting ever so slightly.
He caught the way your fingers tightened around your keys, the defense mechanism an instinct by now. And Logan realized what he looked like. A strange man standing too close for your liking. So he took a step back and gave you some space. In the hopes that you wouldn't see him as a threat. That maybe...you'd listen to what he had to say.
"Can I help you?" you asked, eyes darting around the parking lot in case you needed help.
What he wouldn't give for the opportunity to reassure you. To explain that he wasn't here to hurt you. That he'd kill himself before even laying a hand on you. Yet the correct words were lost and all he seemed to get out was an incoherent babble that had him wanting to dig his own claws into his chest.
"You smell different."
You straightened your spine, eyes narrowed into a glare he felt burn across his skin. "Look, I don't know who you are. But fuck off."
Something akin to pride flared in his chest at your tone, your words. But he couldn't show it externally. How would he explain that your fightâyour fireâis what drew him to you in the first place? How could he tell you about a version of yourself you'd never know? A person he thought would be with him until his last breath exhaled into the world.
"I'm not here to hurt you." He raised his hands in an attempt to prove his point, but like your variant counterpart you were willing to bite first and ask questions later.
"Yeah. Sure asshole." The shopping bag in your other hand was lifted up, until you had a tighter grip on it in case something happened. You didn't know him. You probably never would.
But Logan had to try. He owed it to you to give it all he had this time around.
Otherwise...what was the point of living?
"My name'sâ" He made the wrong move stepping forward and knew it the second his boot hit the gravel. With a wince, he watched you stumble back against your car, your arm coming up to protect yourself. "No. Look I'm not gonna do anythingâ"
"Get the fuck away from me," you spit.
He moved back as if approaching a wounded animalâhis body finally on edge in a new way. The fact that you didn't know him wasn't what broke off another chunk of his heart. He could handle that. He'd been through that.
You were afraid of him.
That realization dug in too deep for his body to heal.
That...he couldn't live with.
"WOAH hey!" He'd never appreciated Wade's irritating ass more than in this moment. He jumped between the two of you, the cart of groceries forgotten as he blocked Logan from your sight. "Step away from the nice lady wolf boy." Wade regarded you with a smile. "Hi! Sorry. This is my uncle and well as you can probably tell he's lost eight of his lives. So we're going on little old nine. And well the mind just goes to shit first."
Seconds passed by like minutes and Logan watched you visibly deflate. "Wade," you greeted him, visibly calmer than before. Logan felt his stomach twist violently at the thought. "It's good to see you. How's the job?"
"Oh yup you know. Left that. But I'm really pushing through. I've got an Etsy store where I sell miniature paintings of Michael Angelo's David's penis. So there's that."
Your laughter sent a hole through his chest and Logan bit back the growl that rose up the back of his throat. What the fuck was Wade doing making friends with you? Why were you laughing at his humor?
He couldn't count how many days he'd spent longing to hear your laugh again, the shine in your eyes that always came around when joy flooded your bloodstream. He could smell the honey off your skin, the warmth of what no doubt lay beneath your thin dress. And he wanted to rip Wade to pieces knowing that he was the one making it happen. That you were comfortable with a man who's mouth ran at a mile a minute.
"Did your sister have the baby yet?"
You brightened and Logan felt his heart stutter. "She did! A boy."
"Named Wade I hope."
Another peal of laughter had Logan's claws itching to descend as you ignored he was there. "Theo actually. A cutie."
"Aww." Wade moved closer, head bent to see the small polaroid you pulled out of your wallet. "Wow, he looks like you'd find him in a Gerber's advertisement."
Your eyes drifted up, past Wade's shoulder, until you finally caught Logan's gaze. And he felt like he could breathe. Every ounce of fear was wiped from your face; interest now creeping in as you dragged your eyes down his form. Past the slight peek of chest hair and down to how his jeans hugged his hips. Logan stood taller for your benefit, as if he needed to make a good impression.
He wanted to linger in your mind for days. Until the curiosity ate you alive.
"We're gonna go," Wade announced, after grabbing your bag and placing it in your trunk for you. "Someone has to feed the blind woman in my apartment. She tends to root through everything looking for food." He gripped Logan's arm, shoving him back a good few feet. Even as your eyes still remained glued to his face. "Glad to see the Hyundai is still working. You know you could take the fattest fucking nap in the back of that puppy. Makes you feel like an Egyptian mummy."
"Bye," you said, a dazed look in your eyes as Logan smiled in your direction. At ease with the knowledge that even in a different universe, he could still fluster you with a look.
Dragging himself away from you was hell, but Wade's grip remained unbreakable as they clambered to the car. The groceries stacked in the small backseat.
He could glimpse you driving off and suddenly the nightmare from earlier was the last thing on his mind.
Wade's back hit the wall with a crack before the door could shut properly. The groceries in their hands toppled to the floor. He barely had time to duck before Logan's claws were aiming for his headâa snarl ripping from his throat.
"What the fuck?" Wade shouted, grabbing the paper bag and gently setting it on the table. "Next time just say you need to stay home and find some joy in an empty room and your hand."
"How do you know her?"
Wade smiled, assessing the furious state of chaos Logan was now left in. The tatters of his stability falling to the floor around him. For as much as he held himself together, it certainly remained easy enough to tear him a part.
"Got an eye on someone, do we honey badger?"
Logan grimaced, running a hand down his face. "Would you just fucking tell me?"
"Let me bask in this Logan. I'm about to watch a romcom come to life and need some popcorn." He rummaged through the bag, yanking out some chips. "Salty and sweet. That'll do."
"Wade," he bit out.
"Stick with us girls, we're about to get to the good stuff."
"WADE!"
He tossed the bag to the table, eyeing the way Logan never quite settled. "I'm gonna take a guess and say we know her more than just friendly hellos."
Logan couldn't answer because his grief did it for him. He did what he could to catch his breath, to stop seeing his version of you. The disappointment on your face, the pain in your voice. You'd been so angry with him. To watch the person he loved be reduced to a screaming crying mess wasn't something he wanted to relive, but Wade's question seemed to send an avalanche toppling to the ground.
"She's..." He sucked in a breath. "On my world. I...knew her."
"Knew her? Or knew her."
He reached for the bottle of whiskey Wade threw in with the rest of the groceries and popped it open before he spoke again. "It didn't end well between us. None of it did."
Wade fell silent and Logan found himself loathing the quiet more than the sound of his voice. If he was joking Logan could ignore it. He could pretend nothing happened. That you weren't here, you couldn't be hurt by him again.
You were safe from his destructive tendencies as long as you were in another universe.
"She lives across the street." Logan's head rose and whipped to see the window that faced the building across from them. "The old uncultured shit whistles that keep complaining about WHAM! the greatest thing to happen to music. They're her neighbors. Live right next door."
"Neighbors."
Wade nodded, offering him a chip. "She found their note and angel that she is, she very sweetly threatened to get them evicted. I offered to let her borrow my katanas but was rejected like younger me on prom night. You've really got yourself a catch there buddy."
Logan didn't need Wade to tell him how fucking lucky he was. He knew that the second you walked out of that store. You were everything good in his life at one point, everything he couldn't save. There wasn't much keeping him going on his old Earth, but having you made all the suffering he went throughâall the pain he enduredâworth it.
If you were waiting for him at the end, he'd do it all over again.
"So you want to take a dip in that honey huh? Taste that rainbow?"
His claws would have sunk into Wade's throat if a knock hadn't sounded at the door. With a huff, he stepped into the kitchen, the bottle clutched tightly in his hand. Whoever decided to give Wade some luck was of no concern to him.
Or so he believed.
"I didn't mean to accidentally take your groceries," you laughed, handing over a overpacked paper bag.
Stuffing the bottle under the sink, he met you halfway to the living room, his eyes drinking in the sight of you still in that dress. Still delicate enough for him to rip if he tugged it right. Heat curled along the base of his spine when your eyes met his, wide and glimmering with your laughter. He felt himself crumple at the sight of your lips parting, the surprise at his size still enough to make you speechless.
"Good to see you again," he greeted you, voice low and soft.
You didn't mean to grow flustered in his presence, but something about the way his gaze devoured you within seconds left you breathless. The swooping sensation in your stomach became too much to handle. Desire and attraction weren't unknown concepts to you. But this felt like more. You could sense him right down to your bones and it scared the shit out of you.
"Oh right!" Wade scooched past you to swing an arm around Logan's shoulders. He did what he could to not stab him in the stomach. "This is Logan. My hunky new roommate."
Logan groaned. "Alrightâ"
"No, no it's good. You remember when I was declared basically the savior of the universe?"
Your face screwed up in confusion. Logan had never wanted to kiss someone more.
"Marvel...Jesus right?"
"I prefer MJ. Since I've got a Peter." Wade's head whipped to the side. "Suck it Tom Holland." His grip on Logan tightened. "This walking People's Sexiest Magazine helped. We're talking big claws, abs you just want to lick whipped cream off ofâ"
Logan's elbow slammed into Wade's stomachâcrimson slowly tinting the tips of his ears. "That's enough."
"AND the Wolverine."
Surprised etched itself onto your face even further. Until you finally regarded Logan with a look he'd seen once before. Awe. When you first met one another in the halls of the mansion, you stared at him that exact way. As if you couldn't quite believe that iconic figure the X-Men made him out to be actually existed.
He couldn't tell if he liked it. Or if he'd rather you view him as a stranger.
"Logan," he said, offering his hand to you politely. Your skin remained as soft as he remembered.
Warmth bloomed in your body at the feeling of his calloused palm overwhelming yours, the scars across his knuckles old and ancient. Yet you found yourself wanting to trace them over and over, until the sight of them seared in your mind. You fought the urge to press your lips to them, etch your own mark into his skin. Something told you he wouldnât mind.
Logan could see the intrigue on your faceâthe distracted gaze he wanted to keep in place. You were still curious. Still willing to learn about him. To pick him a part with soft words and even softer touches.
"Logan," you murmured under your breath, your eyes catching his. He felt his stomach leap at the sound of your voice whispering his name. Memories flooding his mind quicker than he expected. Of mornings spent in bed, your skin pressed against his. Of nights alone in his cabinâyour stories lulling him to sleep.
Everything he willed himself to forget, yet could never truly let go of.
"I've got to head back." Disappointment filled your heart at the thought of not getting a chance to talk to him more. He had yet to let go of your hand and you found you liked his touch on your skin. "I'll see you soon Wade."
"Logan will be more than happy to walk you back," Wade replied, waving drastically behind your back. "Can't have you getting hurt now can we? Right peanut?"
You smiled. "I'm just across the street."
"I don't mind," Logan cut in, glaring at Wade to shut the fuck up.
"Okay," your voice was soft. Happy.
Logan would have done anything to keep it that way.
The walk back wasn't long enough for him to explain his actions from earlier, but you seemed to be just as smart as your variant self. Shutting the building's door, you turned to himâyour dress fluttering in the breeze. Logan choked on his spit at the slight peek of your ass before you pushed the skirt back down around you.
"Did you know me?" You lead him to the corner, waiting for the traffic to die down. "On your Earth."
He paused, his eyebrows pulling together, and for a moment you wondered if you asked the wrong question. Wade told you bits and pieces of what happened since you last saw him, but Logan's background wasn't a discussion you tried to seek out. All you knew was that Wade acquired a new roommate. Not even a name.
Certainly not that he was Wolverine.
"Yes," Logan muttered, glancing at the change in lights.
You started to walk. "In what way?"
His hands curled into fistsâechoes of his past rising to the surface. "We were...friends. You're a professor."
"A professor?" you exclaimed, a smile tugging on your lips. "Am I a mutant?"
He nodded. "You're able to bend time. Or control it." He snorted, following your lead towards your building. "I could never understand it. But Charles did."
The walk up to your apartment was silent, your thoughts filled with the new information he'd given you. And no matter how hard you tried to picture it, you couldn't see yourself as a mutant. A powerful being that held the ability to manipulate time who just so happened to be a professor. Somehow even thinking about it made you wonder why Logan was bothering to entertain this version of you. When the better one existed on his Earth.
"You said were."
Stopping at your door, he nearly knocked into you. "Hm?"
"Were friends. What happened?"
The answer he couldn't give you. The words he wouldn't even admit out loud to himself.
He felt his heart twist as if a knife slowly carved through his spleen. "We uh..." He coughed. "You..."
"I don't have to know." Grasping gently onto his arm, you offered a warm smile he felt down to his toes. A look he hadn't seen in quite some time. Logan could picture the last day you were happy in his head. Laughing with Charles in his office as you shared dinner, working on theories of your powers late into the night.
A week before they came.
"It's good to see you like this," he breathed, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek before stopping midair. "Happy."
Your eyebrows knit together. "I wasn't happy?"
"No." What he wouldn't give to take that information back, but it was out in the open, and as alwaysâhe remained too late.
"Why?" you asked, your hand sliding down to his much to his delight.
"I made you a promise." He sucked in a breath, his body begging him to start running. You'd be better off if you never knew. If you never remembered him in the first place. "I couldn't keep it."
I'll always keep you safe.
Words he refused to say again.
How could he promise this version of you that? How could he look you in the eyes and lie again? Breaking his Earth's you would haunt him for the rest of his life. He couldn't fathom doing it all over. It would kill him.
Except you weren't the person in his mind. You weren't the mutant who hated him with every fiber of your being. You were you. A continuous surprise that left his heart stuttering in his chest each time you looked his way. An enigma he found himself wanting to unravel.
"Maybe this time around you can," you said softly, letting him go with a smile as you entered your apartment, effectively opening the wound in his heart so wide there was no saving him.
Although he now knew something he didnât know before.
He didnât want to be saved.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett x f!reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x y/n#my writing
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ËâșïœĄËâËmake you mine | CL16 LN4 ËâșïœĄËâË
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her) x lando norris
genre: social media au, polyamorous relationship
warnings: just polyamory & fluff
summary: in which you never censor yourself online but your boys wouldn't change you for the world
a/n: i luv the polyamory reqs lollll
request!!!: I've been obsessed with Charlando recently so I was wondering if you could maybe write a smau for them with singer!reader, I don't have a plot other than the fact that they are dating someone like Renée Rap with zero PR training, can you imagine the chaos
fc: madison beer
my masterlist
twitter ->
instagram ->
charles_leclerc posted a story
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 432,054 others
landonorris you're telling me
liked by charles_leclerc
user1 omg aw
user2 awww our precious girl
user3 still not used to u dating her
landonorris posted a story
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 389,766 others
user4 charlando looking after y/n <3
charles_leclerc only if we feed her đ€
landonorris well..... true
user5 yummm pancakes
francisca.cgomes i miss her
landonorris i told her and she literally squealed at the mention of your name..
francisca.cgomes heheheee that's my girl
landonorris and here we were, thinking she was ours
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 982,712 others
user6 omg
user7 i am no better than a man
user8 what have they done this time
liked by yourusername
landonorris baby please we said sorry it was an accident
charles_leclerc ma belle please we're begging
francisca.cgomes posted a story
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 134,927 others
charles_leclerc she's with YOU?
landonorris return her to us this instant
francisca.cgomes idk what you're talking about đ€·ââïž
user9 make em squirm
user10 đ
yourusername đ paris
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,043,365 others
yourusername the boys forgot about me but she never would
tagged: francisca.cgomes
view all 8,943 comments
francisca.cgomes i wouldnt dream of it sweetheart đ
yourusername stop im blushing....
landonorris stop flirting where we can see it charles is distraught
yourusername so was i when i realised you'd both forgotten to include me in your travel plans
user11 LOL is she being seriousđ
user12 the most beautiful wags by far
pierregasly go away back to monaco and free my girlfriend
yourusername YOUR girlfriend? huhhh i know you aint talking about my girl kika
pierregasly @.landonorris @.charles_leclerc please make her forgive you so i can live in peace
charles_leclerc you don't think we're trying đą
francisca.cgomes try harder đ (or dont) (i love having her around)
user13 LOL y/n always brings the chaos to social media đ
user14 i just know lando & charles' PR team are tired
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
liked by francisca.cgomes, carlossainz55, and 671,346 others
lilyzneimer deserved
yourusername right?!
user15 hahaha what a fun spectacle to watch unfold via instagram
carlossainz55 you guys are crazy
yourusername đ perhaps true
carlossainz55 no, definitely true
user16 i know this was charles' idea
charles_leclerc đ monaco
liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 844,971 others
charles_leclerc time to get serious for the home race
tagged: yourusername, landonorris
view all 7,375 comments
pierregasly thank god
charles_leclerc đ€š
user17 OMG THEY R SOOO CUTEEE TOGETHER
user18 im so jealous of them
yourusername get my boys on the podium!!!! đ„
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris
user19 she gets it
landonorris us going back to being rivals on the track: đą
charles_leclerc my heart isnt in it, dont worry
user20 omg why is the cutest thing ever
yourusername posted a story
liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 612,854 others
lilymhe bored much?
yourusername they are too busy and serious to entertain me. send help
lilymhe im coming to collect you immediately
francisca.cgomes they bored you into becoming an impromptu artiste?
yourusername pretty much đ lily said the same thing
francisca.cgomes ok good cause me too. On my way!
user21 trust y/n to supply us with the charlando content đ»
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername đ monaco
liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 1,024,736 others
yourusername congratulations to my boys on p1 and p2 đ©·âšđđ„°đžđđ·đ©° never been so proud in my life!!! by the way i just dropped a new song called make you mine .. this one's for my boys:))) ily all
tagged: landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe
view all 14,827 comments
user26 NO WARNING?????
user27 what the fuck
lilymhe i screamed tbh
alex_albon can confirm
yourusername oh stop it you guys đ€
francisca.cgomes IIIII WANNA FEel the RUSHH
yourusername real đ
user28 SCREAMMMMMM
user29 our chaotic queen đž
landonorris oh my god baby
charles_leclerc no way
messages ->
instagram ->
landonorris posted a story
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 716,826 others
user30 oh god i love these three
oscarpiastri cute
lilyzneimer love her <33
user31 sickly sweetđ
charles_leclerc posted a story
liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 801,626 others
user32 the hand drawn hearts is too cute
user33 y/n is the luckiest girl in the world
user34 giggling and kicking my feet over them
pierregasly you guys are crazy
charles_leclerc crazy in loveee đđđ
yourusername posted a story
liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 974,626 others
user35 the red and orange heartsđđđ
user36 them all posting each other celebrating i could die rn
user37 idk who i wanna be more
francisca.cgomes my fav throuple
yourusername how many others do you know
francisca.cgomes not the point!
landonorris
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 837,907 others
landonorris live inside my mind you can see the shrine got you on my walls ..
tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername
view all 11,737 comments
user38 omgïżœïżœđ„čđ„čđ„č
user39 omg they are sosososososo cute together i cant cope
user40 oh to be y/n y/l/n
francisca.cgomes a moment for make you mine song of the year đ
landonorris pinned đ§·
yourusername iktr đ
charles_leclerc my honeys đŻ
yourusername hehe
landonorris i love you
charles_leclerc i love you â€ïž
yourusername i love u sweeties
user41 the little nicknamesđ„čđ„čđ„č
user42 i'd die for them
landonorris same
THE END â€ïžđ§Ą
#f1#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 imagine#smau#lando norris#ln4#charles leclerc#cl16#charlando#charlando fanfic#f1 blurb#charles leclerc fanfic#cl16 one shot#cl16 smau#cl16 x y/n#cl16 fluff#cl16 x you#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 fic#ln4 smau#ln4 angst#ln4 one shot#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic
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summary: you finally got hired to work as a teacher for your dream school, jujutsu high. everything was perfect until you ran into gojo satoru, your first love and heartbreak.
a/n: angst + fluff, female reader. this is the first time I've written a story more on the angsty side, so please let me know if you like it : ) I was feeling angsty after listening to eternal sunshine and bam this story suddenly came to me
tags: @kenqki @sad-darksoul
~
When you caught a glance at that familiar shade of blue, you froze. That specific hue was a color you avoided at all costs, the color of heartbreak and dreams you never followed.
He looked at you, and suddenly you were 18 again. It was simultaneously the best and worse year of your life; the year you fell in love with Satoru, and the year he left you.Â
Your heartbeat felt sickening in your own chest as he walked towards you, his eyes widened and jaw slacked as if he were in a trance. Like he hadnât expected to see you again.
Itâs not like you thought youâd see him again either. You had told yourself that even if you did, it wouldnât hurt, because youâd moved on. It had been years since you gave up on him, so you should be feeling nothing as your first love came to a halt in front of you, gazing at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him.
It didnât feel like nothing, though. It felt a whole like despair, relief, and joy warring with each other, causing your fingertips to tremble as if your body couldnât decide which emotion to settle on.
âLong time no see, Gojo,â you said, attempting to offer a warm smile. Though the tremulous note to your voice must have betrayed how you were truly feeling.
He frowned ever so slightly when you said his name, like he wasnât used to you calling him by his last name. It was formal and cold - when things between you two used to be anything but.Â
âYouâre here,â he said, though it sounded like he was saying it to himself rather than talking to you.Â
âAh, Gojo. I see youâve met our newest hire. Sheâll be working with your students for the summer, I imagine you two will be working together closely,â the principal said. But Gojo wasnât looking at him. You still felt the heavy weight of his gaze, like he was scared youâd disappear if he looked away.
âWhy donât you two grab lunch together? Gojo can catch you up on his students,â the principal said. So why did your body go rigid at his harmless suggestion?
âSorry, I have to make a phone call during lunch! Gojo, feel free to email me any details I need to know,â you said quickly, smiling before you darted towards the courtyard.
You cursed yourself for running away, like a coward. What was there to be afraid of? He was someone you loved years ago, and time washed away any lingering feelings you had for himâŠright?Â
At least thatâs what youâd always told yourself. But maybe deep down, you feared some of those feelings would never go away. And that theyâd definitely resurface if you let yourself be near him, if you let yourself remember how much he used to mean to you. How badly he hurt you.
You shook your head, hoping the crisp morning air would wash some sense into you. This position was your dream job, and you werenât gonna let your past demons take that away from you. You could be civil, you could work with him like the mature adult you were. It would be okay.
~
âI wonder if our new teach would tell me where she gets her lipgloss?â Nobara asked aloud, walking in step with Yuji and Megumi as they filed out of the classroom.
âSheâs really pretty,â Yuji said, smiling cheesily. It was a buzz amongst all the students actually, how beautiful the newest teacher was. The students warmed up to her quickly, captivated by her knowledge and how easy she was to talk to.Â
âGojo always looks like heâs in a trance whenever he sees her,â Megumi said, making his two companions snap their attention to him.
âDo you think theyâre dating?!â Nobara nearly yelled, her eyes widening comically.
âMaybe not. They both look kinda sad when they look at each other and they think the other person isnât looking,â Megumi noted, looking deep in thought.
âWoah, youâre so observant. Maybe theyâre exes, I heard they knew each other when they were younger,â Yuji said.
âEh? No way sensei could pull someone like her,â Nobara said.
~
Two weeks have passed since you began teaching, and you loved it. Plus, youâd managed to have as minimal contact with Gojo as possible. Things would be fine after all.
You stepped into the teacherâs lounge, eager to grab your bag and head back home now that the day was over. But your bag wasnât on the hook where you usually hung it up. When you turned around however, Gojo was leaning against the doorframe, taking up nearly the entire frame.
âCan I help you with something, Gojo?â you asked politely, willing your heart to settle down at his proximity.
âCan we talk?â he asked, and there it was again. The inexplicable feeling that swarmed your senses whenever you heard the sound of his voice, no matter what he was saying. Your traitorous body responded to it no matter how much you told it not to.
âUm, tomorrow might be better during our free period! Iâm actually looking for myâŠâ you began, stopping your sentence as Gojo used two fingers to effortlessly lift your heavy bag.
âIâll give this back to you when you agree to have dinner with me. Tonight,â he said, flashing a boyish smile at you that was oh so painfully familiar.Â
âYou canât be serious,â you said, crossing your arms as Gojo took another step towards you. He was so close, and much taller than you remembered. He seemed to take up the entirety of the room you were in, making it harder to breathe and think clearly.
âI thought you knew me better than that, tea. I absolutely am,â he drawled, and the butterflies in your stomach swarmed at the mention of his old nickname for you. Hearing it used to fill you with love and light, because he began calling you the endearment after learning how much you adored tea. Heâd often show up at your door with your favorite drinks, happily indulging in your obsession.Â
You blinked the memory away, refocusing your gaze back to the man in front of you.Â
âThis isnât funny,â you said, reaching towards your bag. He lifted it up and out of your reach easily.
âWhat isnât funny is how youâve been avoiding me since you got here. Why can you barely look me in the eye?â he said, the slight hurt in his voice hitting your heart. Your eyes darted around the room in a panic before you answered.
âCan you really blame me? We donât have the best history,â you said, your voice coming off harsher than you intended.Â
âThatâs what I want to clear up. Just hear me out this once, please,â he said, his tone softening as he spoke. You hated it, how quickly you could feel yourself giving into him. After a beat of silence, you spoke.
âJust this once,â you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.Â
There it was. That familiar, triumphant upturn of his lips.Â
~
You second guessed your choice as you walked towards Gojoâs car - a sleek, navy luxury car you remember heâd gotten for his 18th birthday. But there was no way he didnât have other cars by now, so you couldnât help but wonder if he picked this car today on purpose.
He swiftly opened the door to the passenger seat, allowing you to slip in before he slid into the drivers seat.
There was something undeniably intimate about being alone in the car with him. Being in such close quarters meant you could smell the cologne clinging to his skin, the minty remnants of the mints he always carried with him. You felt bespelled watching his long fingers wrap around the wheel, blushing as he wrapped his arm around your headrest and leaned towards you to look behind him as he backed out of the spot.Â
A memory flooded towards you. Of a freshly 18-year old Gojo excitedly picking you up in his shiny new car, nearly getting you into a car crash as he carelessly spun the wheel in his excitement. Youâd given him a firm talking to about him being careful, and he smiled at you sheepishly before he walked you to get ice cream.Â
The sound of buttons clicking pulled you from your reverie. You watched wordlessly as Gojo set the seat warmer to the lowest setting and turned the ac up to 71, the exact settings you used to switch them to whenever you were his passenger princess.
âIs that still how you like it?â he asked, casting you a quick sideways glance before returning his eyes to the road. You wondered if you imagined the hopeful note to his voice.
âYes,â you answered quietly.Â
Oh , I definitely still like it, you thought, eyes roaming across Gojoâs figure as he drove. His seat was leaned back to make room for his long legs, and he kept one hand on the wheel as he drove with the elegant ease he mustâve developed in your time apart. It was stupid, how attracted you still were to him.
You didnât miss the way Gojo glanced at you ogling him, the corner of his lip tipping up like it so pleased him.
~
You followed Gojo into a gorgeous restaurant that you were undoubtedly underdressed for. A smartly dressed man greeted the two of you immediately, leading you to a table right in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. It offered you a gorgeous view of the skyline, the soft glow of the sunset making the silverware sparkle.Â
You couldnât help but look around in confusion at the quietness of the restaurant - save for the nice host, you were the only ones there.
âI booked out the place for the night. So we could catch up in peace,â Gojo said easily, as if that were something normal to do. You couldnât say you were too surprised though, as he had the same penchant for spending and the fortune to back it since he was younger.
âOf course you did,â you said, shaking your head as you smiled to yourself.
Gojo leaned forward in his seat, studying you like you just performed magic.
âIâve missed that smile of yours,â he said softly. It wasnât fair, the way the last bits of sunshine of the day lit up the gold flecks in his eyes. The way his hair nearly shone silver, making him look otherworldly as he told you he missed you.Â
âI donât know what to say to you, Gojo,â you said, forcing neutrality into your tone. But as soon as you spoke the words, you could hear how sad they sounded.
âDo you hate me?â he asked, sounding like his younger self once more.Â
You met his eyes, releasing a deep breath as you did your best to offer a smile.
âI donât think I could ever hate you,â you admitted, watching the way his shoulders eased ever so slightly.
âBut you hurt me,â you said, voice barely above a whisper.
âI was ready to stick out long distance when you moved away. You stopped answering my calls, responding to my letters. I tried reaching you for months before I gave up, Gojo. There was no goodbye, no explanation. What was I supposed to think? How do you expect me to greet you with a smile now as if nothing happened?â you said, your voice cracking towards the end.Â
âI know we were 18 and stupid, but IâŠâÂ
I loved you. You were everything to me. And no matter how much time had past, how much you dated around, no one ever compared to you.
You shook your head, unable to get the words out.
It would forever be fresh in your mind, the day you found out Gojo was being shipped off to a different country by his stupid family to train.Â
The devastation was overwhelming. You curled up in your room, crying into your pillow as Gojo sat silently on the edge of your bed.
âDo you really have to go?â you sniffed, though it didnât sound like that, with your throat clogged with tears.
Gojo laid beside you, pulling your back to his chest as he held you and buried his face in your hair.
âI donât have a choice, tea. Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry,â he whispered, his voice breaking off at the end. You turned around, wrapping your arms around him as he held you brusingly tight. You rubbed his back as you felt his tears hit your shoulder.
After the cry you both needed, you faced each other silently, as if you were committing each other to memory.
âI wonât give up on us. Iâll call you everyday to bug the hell out of you,â he said, giving you the first lopsided smile of the night.
âFor how long, though?â you said sadly, feeling the hope leeching out of you with each word you said aloud.
âFor as long as it takes for me to become the strongest. And for you to become the teacher youâve always wanted to be. Iâll come back for you,â he promised, lacing his long fingers through yours. There was hope alight in those eyes of his, convincing your own hope to stay.
âYou promise?â you asked, sounding so much more like a young child than you wished.
âI promise.â he said, and you kissed him then. There was something so magnetic about him, the type of person that made you want to believe anything was possible. But you hadnât known that would be the last time you kissed.
You had no way of knowing that your boyfriend would keep up with his promise for a month, and then suddenly leave you with nothing. He stopped responding to your letters, stopped his calls, stopped reminding you how much he loved you. The only time you ever heard about him was when the news featured his growing talents.
The sound of Gojoâs voice ripped you away from the memory.
âYou have every right to be upset with me,â he began, his cerulean eyes betraying his grief.
âWas there someone else?â you asked before you could think better, cursing yourself.
âNo,â he said forcefully, wincing like it hurt him for you to think that.
âThere was never anyone else. Never,â he said, and you couldnât help the relief flooding your chest.
âThey got in my head about you. Convinced me that I was holding you back, that you could never focus on school enough to become a teacher good enough to teach at Jujutsu High if you were in a long distance relationship with me. I thought I was doing what was best for you,â he said, his voice low and regretful as he spoke.Â
The man across from you blurred as tears filled your vision. You spent months agonizing over the possible reasons he would abandon your relationship, and your young, heartbroken self was convinced it had something to do with you. That he found someone, and suddenly you weren't his cup of tea anymore. Never did it cross your mind that he thought he was doing you a favor by ghosting you.
âGod, Gojo. Why didnât you just talk to me?â you cried, doing nothing to mask the grief in your voice.Â
âI knew youâd tell me that it was incredibly stupid of me. And I know it was now, but back then I thought it would be easier if I made the choice for you. You deserved to have your full focus on pursuing teaching,â he said solemnly, lifting a hand towards your face as if he were going to wipe your tears, but laying his hand back down like he thought against it.
âYouâre right, that was incredibly stupid of you,â you said, heaving a deep breath as your swiped the last of your tears.
âBut I get why you did it. I just wish you wouldâve included me in that choice, because you know what I thought? I thought if you could discard me, discard us that easily, that I mustâve not meant as much to you as you meant to me. That you didnât love me as much as I loved you,â you said shakily, a single traitorous tear falling down your cheek.
Your emotions overwhelmed you as you saw his eyes begin to shine with unshed tears - a sight that hurt you as much as it did when you were both 18.
âI never stopped loving you,â he said, his voice hushed as he made the confession.
It felt like you were no longer in your own body as emotions assaulted you all at once. Happiness, relief, confusion, devastation. They warred with each other, and you didnât know if the burst of nerves you were feeling was panic or excitement.
âYou donât mean that. Maybe you still love who I was when I was 18, but things are different now. Iâm different,â you said, watching as Gojo shook his head softly.
âYouâre right. You have become even more beautiful than I remember,â he began, and you knew you had lost. This wasnât a game, but somehow you still lost.
âIâve seen the way you work with the kids. Iâm in awe of how confident and capable youâve become. But Iâve also seen what hasnât changed,â he said, leaning towards you with the light back in his eyes.
âYour tenacity. Your kindness. Your intelligence. Your drive. The way your eyes light up when you teach, the way you see the best in people. Thatâs how I fell in love with you, and I know thats still there,â he said, looking at you with the kind of reverence you forgot existed.
You closed your eyes as you failed at calming your thunderous heart.Â
âI canât do this, Gojo. I canât put myself in a position to be hurt by you again,â you said, casting your eyes down in your lap. You couldnât bear to see defeat in his eyes.
You jolted as you felt the soothing, painfully familiar touch of his hand over yours.Â
âLook at me,â he pleaded softly, coaxing your eyes back towards his. When you met them again, they were filled with warmth, and you believed it. That he still loved you.
âYou donât owe me anything. Iâll stay out of your way if thatâs what you want. But Iâm not taking back what I said. Iâve loved you since before you were mine. And I always will.â He finished you off by lifting your hand to his lips, a gesture you were still a used to be a sucker for.
~
In the days that followed, Gojo consumed your every thought. It didnât help that you worked so closely, and it especially didnât help to see how good he was with the students. He goofed around with them more than a normal teacher would, but he taught them earnestly. No matter how much they complained about his antics, you could tell your students loved him.
It also didnât help when he began leaving your favorite milk tea on your desk before the start of every school day, earning you a âwow teach, you must really love that tea shop,â comment from Yuji.
It was slightly embarrassing, but you couldnât deny how much it brightened your day to see that cup of tea sitting on your desk, knowing how much Gojo still thought of you. And it didnât stop at tea.
Over the course of the next month, your favorite flowers began showing up with your tea. Sometimes, instead of flowers it was your favorite candy. Gojo never lingered around to hand them to you himself, just giving you sweet smiles and waves whenever you locked eyes. You knew it was his way of giving you space to choose, and no matter how cheesy it was, it was working.
~
It was about 3 months after that dinner that you found yourself sitting with the principal for your quarterly one-on-one. You were pleased to hear the praises of your work and the positive feedback heâd received from students regarding you, but something in particular he said had you shaken up.
âI knew you and Gojo would work well together. You both had very moving reasons for wanting to teach here,â he said casually.
âMoving reasons?â you pressed, feeling like you were on the verge of something.
âOh, yes. I was highly impressed by your years of dedication and experience, you were an obvious choice. But Gojo didnât have much teaching experience when I hired him, it was really his reason for teaching that sold me on him,â he answered. And you didnât know why, but your pulse grew uncomfortably quick.
âHe told me that teaching helped him feel close to someone he loved. And that person taught him how powerful a good teacher could be,â the principal said. There was a beat of silence, followed by the screeching sound your chair made and you sat up suddenly. You apologized and excused yourself, rushing towards a certain office door.
Your movements were too quick for your thoughts to catch up. You just knew you had to see him.
He wasnât in his office. Not in his classroom, not in the teacherâs lounge. That sickening panic began invading your senses, reminding you that it wasnât the first time you desperately searched for Gojo and couldnât find him.
But you pushed past it and kept walking. You walked until you reached the outer edge of campus, spotting a flash of silver hair atop a hill that overlooked the school.Â
You ran towards it like your life depended on it, huffing and puffing until you finally locked gazes with the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. Though the eyes that normally regarded you with warmth were unusually widened with concern as Gojo ran towards you.
âHey, whats going on-â
âWhy did you become a teacher?â you said, struggling to catch your breath. Gojo looked stunned for a second, staring at you silently as he waited for you to continue.
âWhy did you decide to work for Jujutsu High, out of all the high schools in Japan?â you continued, watching as his expression turned pensive. But his eyes shone with all the words heâd yet to say.
âI didnât intend on becoming a teacher. I just gave it a shot one day, because I knew how passionate you were about it. And I loved it,â he said, staring out wistfully towards the lecture halls.
âAs for why I picked Jujutsu High,â he began, turning his body towards you again. He walked to you, stopping until there was barely a step of space between your bodies.Â
âI picked it because I knew this was your dream school to work at. I hoped I would see you again if I worked here,â he admitted, smiling sadly. You shook your head in disbelief.
âThis was my dream school when I was 18. What if I changed my mind and worked somewhere else? What if I didnât even become a teacher?â you said frantically, searching for a crack in his resolve.
Gojo reached out, cupping your cheek in his hand. You had no choice but to tilt your head up to meet his, feeling new emotions flooding you at the look in his eyes.
âDoesnât matter. The thought of seeing you again is what has kept me going all these years. Even if I mean nothing to you now,â he breathed, removing his hand from your cheek. He stepped away from you, giving you the space you realized you no longer wanted.
You didnât know if you wanted to laugh or cry at this new revelation. But you did know one thing; you wanted Gojo Satoru. You wanted another shot with him.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and burying your face into his chest. He smelled like mint and summer and everything good with the world as his arms immediately came up to hold you to him.
He released a shaky breath as he held you, like he couldnât believe heâd get to do it again.
âOf course you still mean something to me,â you whispered through tears you didnât realize you were shedding. Gojo gently pulled back from your hug, capturing both your face between his hands. He swiped his thumbs gently against your tears, that reverent, warm gaze back in those eyes of his.
âWhat should I make of that, tea?â he asked, tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear. You realized how much you missed his touch, how youâve longed to feel his smooth, porcelain skin against yours again.
âYouâre gonna have to work reallyyyy hard if you want me to fall in love with you again,â you said, smiling as his eyes widened and his jaw slacked.
Liar. It wouldnât take much at all.
âYouâre giving me another chance?â he said incredulously. You nodded shyly, smiling as Gojo awarded you with the most brilliant, heart-stopping smile. The kind that crinkled his eyes at the corners, the kind that stretched his cheeks, the kind that you had no choice but to mirror.
The breath left your body as Gojo lifted you up by your hips, swinging you around in a circle like the last scene of a Disney movie where the prince and princess reunited.Â
It felt like a weight was released from your shoulders as he spun you around, the two of you laughing like teenagers again.
âThank you,â he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
~
âThey have to be dating, thereâs no way theyâre not!â Nobara exclaimed, walking to get food with the other first years after class.
âGojo sensei follows her around like a puppy. I could actually see hearts in his eyes when he looks at her! I swore I even heard her call him Toru,â Yuji said, him and Nobara nodding to each other intently.
âMaybe. Our new teacher has been looking really happy lately,â Megumi said.
#gojo fanfic#gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x you#jjk x reader#female reader#gojo x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo angst#gojo imagine#gojo headcanons#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#jujustu kaisen#jjk angst#gojo drabbles#jjk imagines#jjk fluff#satoru gojo#gojo jjk#gojo satoru x you#angst
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High shower sex with Eddie Munson?
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (wrap it before you smack it) obvious drug use
The bathroom became foggy as you and Eddie stood in it, the smoke coming from your mouths making it even more hazy. Your lips attached as Eddie stubbed the joint out onto the counter, his hands then sliding up your waist to move under your shirt, pushing it up and pulling it off of your head, tossing it aside.
The thing about Eddie was that being high or drunk always made him horny, not that you minded. In fact, it was what you preferred. You him do whatever he wanted to you and he was the same as you tended to always want each other so badly.
He was also needy and whiny when he was under the influence, but you liked that about him, hearing how pathetic he sounded always doing something to you, especially gettin you so wet you didn't know what to do with you.
"Need you so bad," he whined against your lips as he removed your bra in one swift motion, throwing it behind him before moving onto your jeans, unbuttoning them swiftly before tugging them down your legs, pressing kisses to your stomach as he moved down onto his knees, your cunt right in front of his face.
Before he could get ahead of himself, he stood up and turned to the shower to see that it was finally hot enough. And with that, he stripped then pulled to you where the shower door was already opened, pushing you underneath the shower head.
It rained down on you and you leaned back, letting it hit your head, loving the way the warm water ran down it. You then moved so Eddie could also get wet and he was quick to pull you under it, pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss. His hands grabbed hold of your waist and he backed you up to the wall across from him, pushing you against it with so much force that it caused you to gasp.
He just chuckled in response and continued to kiss you stupid, letting his tongue lazily roam your mouth as his hands slide down to your ass, loving the way you gasped into his mouth as he gave it a squeeze, followed by a slap.
He hands traveled lower as he lifted you up to wrap your legs around him. Together, you helped him slid his cock inside you and you both moaned at the feeling, your minds suddenly fuzzy from the weed.
"God, I've been dreaming about this all day," he told you as he pounded into you, your back hitting the wall every time and he was quick to reach up and cup the back of your head so you didn't hit it.
"Me too, baby," you replied, already feeling blissed out as a result from Eddie's cock, but also the joint that was finally catching up to you. You had no idea why you didn't smoke before fucking more often. Seeing his eyes glazing over as he stared down at you, looking as if he was going to eat you alive was going to live in your head rent free for the rest of your life.
"I was thinking about the exact thing all morning. And you're more than exceeding my expectations."
"You look so fucking hot on my cock. And jesus christ, doll, saying things like that makes me feel like I'm already close." He whined as he pounded into you with even more force, watching you crumble in his arms, already looking you were spent.
"Well come on then, let's get you there," you responded as you bucked your hips against his as hard as you could, continuing the motion until you watched him reach his peak, a loud moan leaving his lips before he quickly pulled out.
Eddie then set you back on your feet and the two of you continued to shower as you both came down from your high, deciding that you could have stayed there forever as long as you were in each other's company.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x fem!reader
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Baby Fever
Leah Williamson x reader
Summary: you'd always heard your friends talk about how much they wanted kids but had never felt the same until now
You'd never thought much about having kids, it just had never been one of your big dreams in life.
When all your friends at kinder would dress up as mum's holding toy babies on free dress days when the theme was dress up as what you want to be in the future days, you would always come dressed in an oversized football jersey with a ball constantly at your feet.
Or whilst people would play mums and dads and you'd instead run off and kick a ball around on your own for the whole lunch.
You didn't not want to be a mum, you just would've preferred to focus on your football career for now, you were still young.
But all this changed whilst you were walking around after the game against Leicester with Katie.
The two of you had your sights set on the area not to far away where most of the other girls were standing.
You spot Leah holding a little boy in her arms whilst talking with Beth and Lotte. When you're closer to the group you speak; 'who's this little one?'
Leah beamed at your sudden appearance next to her, 'go on and tell her your name sweets.' your girlfriend urges the small boy in her arms, and you grin seeing how Leah's interacting with the small kid.
'Henry.' The little boy said in a soft voice, his British accent breaking through, as he shyly buried his head into Leah's neck.
'It's nice to meet you Henry,' You smile slightly lowering yourself so you were at a closer height to the blonde boy
'Are you Leah's friend?'
'She's my girlfriend,' Leah's corrects 'I've told you about her before,'
Henry nodded , then slid down Leahâs body and scampered over to a man calling his name. You watched with a smile as he ran off, his little feet pattering on the ground. Leaning your head on Leahâs shoulder, you said, âHeâs absolutely adorable. Is he your nephew?â
Leahâs face softened as she watched Henry. âNo, heâs my cousinâs kid,â she explained. âBut I do love spending time with him.â
You smiled at Leah, feeling a warmth in your chest. 'You played great today baby.'
Leah only hummed in response, moving her body so her head was leaning up against your chest 'yeah but I missed you.'
'I haven't seen you for 10 minutes, we just played a full 90 minutes of football together babe.' you chuckle.
'That's ten minutes too long.' she whined, squeezing you tight and only letting go when Henry shouted her name and waved something above his head to show the English defender. 'He's the sweetest.'
You silently agree, ever since you'd seen Leah with Henry your head had been clouded with thoughts of your future and what it would look like with children of your own running around your house. 'You're going to be a really good mum one day.'
'to our kids?' she quirked an eyebrow a cheeky smirk breaking out on her face.
'yeah, to our kids.' your smile grew as you saw the huge grin that spread across your girlfriends dace as soon as you confirmed it.
'reckon we should get started soon?' She leaned closer, if that was even possible, to whisper. 'I want enough to make a full football team.'
you laughed and teasingly pushed her away. 'you'll be the one pushing them out if you want that.'
she quickly grabbed you in her arms again, pulling you closer just like how she always wanted it to be. You'd always been very affectionate together and even though you'd tell her to tone down the pda in front of all the 60,000 fans, she just always had to be close to you somehow. 'I can't wait for our future together.'
'Yeah? when are you going to propose to me then?' you grinned cheekily.
'That's a secret! don't you give me those eyes.'
#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#woso x reader#lionesses#arsenal wfc#arsenal#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson fanfic#awfc#arsenal women
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This is such a niche ask, but I saw that you do Mortal Kombat. Can I ask for some flirty intro dialogue? You know like the conversation the characters have b4 the fight? But like with a Goddess!reader who's basically Hecate? like a Nyx/Hecate fusion if that makes sense. Oh and can you do what some of her taunts would be? I feel like those and her fatalities would be illusion and tarot based :)))
Flirty Intro Dialogue
Pairings: Johnny Cage x Reader; Noob Saibot x Reader; Erron Black x Reader; Dark Raiden x Reader; Cassie Cage x Reader; Shang Tsung x Reader
A/N: (Back to using gifs for headcanons). This is just for the MK 11 timeline. Once MK 1 comes out, I'll do new ones. Had to do a little research fan fiction-wise for this one, but I got a good amount out (plus some taunts the reader would say during the fight). I put a lot of thought into the reader's backstory in the MK universe, even though it'll never be used lol. Please, feel free to request more of these characters or some intros for different characters. Maybe even request a one-shot? Who knows ;)
Behind the Scenes: You know how when Erron Black shows up in the intro, he's looking at a Wanted poster of his opponent? I feel like Goddess!reader has something like that where she's looking at a tarot card that's different for each character before it disappears into mist. Another opening is the reader strutting in shapeshifted into her opponent, before turning back. Her friendship fatality has her stirring a comically large witch's caldron and Noob Saibot pops out in a cloud of mist.
You: Jonathan Carlton
Johnny Cage: Sexy witch goddess.
You: IâŠHmm.
-
You: I can feel the magic coursing through your veins. You are one of my Night children, Jonathan.
Johnny Cage: You donât mean that literally, right? Because it would suck to have the hots for my mom.
You: (sighs)Â And what a waste.
-
Johnny Cage: Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.
You: Do you dream of me often, Mortal?
Johnny Cage: Ohho, absolutely.
-
Johnny Cage: Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.
You: (sighs) How many times must you make that joke?
Johnny Cage: You know you love it!
-
Johnny Cage: SoâŠwhat are my chances of getting you into my next movie?
You: Iâve told you. I have no desire to appear on your âbig screenâ.
Johnny Cage: I was thinking weâd make a different kind of movie.
-
Johnny Cage: Goddess of dreams, huh? Can I call you Sandman?
You: You may call me whatever you please, dear mortal.
Johnny Cage: Oh, you do not wanna give me that kind of power.
-
Johnny Cage: Heard you and Shinnok had a thing.
You: AâŠthing?
Johnny Cage: You two boned! Get it? Cuz heâs a skeleton.
-
Johnny Cage: Tarot, huh? Card tricks are cool and all, but do you got any other witchy gimmicks?
You: I'm particularly fond of palm reading.
Johnny Cage: ...So what I'm hearing is, you're good with your hands?
-
Johnny Cage: You, Fujin, and Raiden go way back, huh?
You: Since the dawn of time.
Johnny Cage: (grimace) Yeesh, they've been friend zoned that long?
-
Johnny Cage: Not so fast, Hermonie.
You: Must you always spout such inane drivel?
Johnny Cage: Someone's been using their word-a-day calendar!
-
Johnny Cage: I've never met a non-evil Eldar God.
You: Evil is quite subjective.
Johnny Cage: I'll remember that next time I'm kicking one's ass.
Noob Saibot: My Goddess.
You: Bi-Han.
Noob Saibot: The shadows cling to your presence.Â
-
Noob Saibot: Many have wanted me to yield to their command.
You: Oh?
Noob Saibot: Only you have succeeded, My Goddess.
-
You: You are not touched by the Night, dear Bi-Han. You are shrouded in it.
Noob Saibot: What better way to show that I belong to you?
You: It certainly seems that way, doesnât it?
-
Noob Saibot: The shadows whisper your name.
You: (smiles) What do they say about me?
Noob Saibot: That your beauty is combated by no other. They speak only the truth for their Goddess.
-
You: You have been a steadfast worshiper, Bi-Han. How shall I reward your loyalty?
Noob Saibot: I only ask for one thing: to be your consort.
You: Hmm. That could be arranged.
-
Noob Saibot: I do not want you to be upset with me, but I will not take back what I said.
You: Your brother cares for you, Bi-Han.
Noob Saibot: Yet, here we are.
-
You: Why must we fight?
Noob Saibot: I wish to prove to you my might, My Goddess.
You: Oh, dear wraith. For you, my love is freely given. You have already earned it.
-
Noob Saibot: You're different than the other Eldar Gods. You...care.
You: Do you think me weak?
Noob Saibot: Never.
-
You: Care to spar?
Noob Saibot: I'd be honored.
You: Then don't take it personally when I beat you.
-
Noob Saibot: The shadows crave your touch.
You: Only the shadows?
Noob Saibot: I'll always long for you, My Goddess.
-
You: Do you fear me, dear Bi-Han?
Noob Saibot: I respect you.
You: (sigh) That wasn't a no.
Erron Black: You've got quite the pretty penny on your head.
You: Are you here to kill me then, Erron Black?
Erron Black: With a face like that, I wouldnât dream of it.
-
Erron Black: You got any love spells up your sleeve, witchy? I swear âm good for it.
You: Love is not something to take lightly. Who do you have in mind?
Erron Black: (smirks)Â Look in a mirror, darlinâ.Â
-
Erron Black: You the Goddess of lust, by any chance?
You: That is not a purpose I was created to serve.
Erron Black: Pity. Youâd certainly suit it.
-
Erron Black: You had something to ask me, beautiful?
You: Yes. What is âreverse cowgirlâ?
Erron Black: (smirks) How âbout I show you the ins and outs after this?
-
Erron Black: âM not usually one for marriage, darlinâ.
You: Neither am I.
Erron Black: I donât have to be the only one, as long as Iâm your favorite.
-
Erron Black: You ever find out why Shinnok offed you?
You: I believe he wanted to turn me into his revenant bride. He became rather desperate after I declined his proposal.
Erron Black: (chuckle) Well, I guess I canât blame the guy.
-
Erron Black: Why donât you take a peek into olâ Erronâs dreams? Swear you wonât be disappointed.
You: Iâve seen your dreams. I must say, you give me very generous proportions.
Erron Black: Then you must know Iâm a very generous lover.
-
Erron Black: I've struck gold
You: How so?
Erron Black: Well, you're here, ain'tcha?
-
Erron Black: You cast a spell on me, Goddess?
You: I have not, Erron Black.
Erron Black: Do you want to?
-
Erron Black: How 'bout you and I see where the night takes us?
You: Do you think you can keep up?
Erron Black: Trust me. I may be fast on the quick draw, but I don't shoot quick.
-
Erron Black: You've got the magic touch.
You: A good deal of my powers flow through my hands.
Erron Black: I want 'em on me.
You: Iâve heard of how youâŠdisposed of Shinnok.
Dark Raiden: After what he did to you, after how I mourned, I would behead him a hundred times over.
You: It isnât judgment you sense in my voice. I would have killed him myself if you hadnât beat me to it.
-
You: Do you still desire me, even as you are now?
Dark Raiden: If you need to ask, then I have failed to show you my devotion.
You: Hmph.
-
Dark Raiden: Will you abandon me too, my love?
You: It is not in my nature.
Dark Raiden: They do not deserve your blessings.
-
Dark Raiden: How have youâŠHow are you here?
You: I sensed my presence was needed and returned to my corporal form just in time to be put in Kronika's void.
Dark Raiden: You could not sense how much I needed you, how much I mourned?
-
You: We are in such uncertain times, my vision is clouded.
Dark Raiden: Iâm sorry for the part I play in your duress, my love.
You: You are only doing your duty. Itâs how youâre going about it that leaves me weary.
-
Dark Raiden: How can you find such beauty in their shortcomings?
You: The Night welcomes all into her shadowed embrace.
Dark Raiden: You are wasted on them!
-
Dark Raiden: I was so lost without your guidance.
You: When I died?
Dark Raiden: When you were taken from me!
-
Dark Radien: How did Shinnok do it?
You: He lied to me and attacked me when I let my guard down.
Dark Raiden: (growls) If I could, I would bring him back to enact justice upon him once more.
-
You: I have but one wish.
Dark Raiden: Anything.
You: I wish for you to come back to me.
-
You: Is it true? What you've done?
Dark Radien: It was the only way.
You: You have lost yourself.
-
You: We've never fought before, have we?
Dark Radien: We never needed to for me to know you're the stronger between us.
You: Flattery will not save you.
Cassie Cage: You know, I think Iâm finally understanding why Raiden lost his marbles.
You: How so?
Cassie Cage: I think Iâd lose my shit too if someone like you was taken from me.
-
Cassie Cage: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
You: IâmâŠafraid I do not understand.
Cassie Cage: Oh, you have got to let me take you on a movie date.
-
Cassie Cage: Whoâs your favorite: Fujin or Raiden? Come on. You can tell me.
You: Iâm a Goddess. Why would I limit myself to one lover?
Cassie Cage: You dirty girl.
-
Cassie Cage: What are you the Goddess of again?
You: (hesitates) âŠIt would be easier to list what I am not the Goddess of.
Cassie Cage: (whistles) And I thought my parents expected a lot of me.
-
Cassie Cage: Come on, just one kiss!
You: I am older than you could possibly imagine.
Cassie Cage: An older woman. Whatâs not to love?
-
Cassie Cage: I heard you died. So, how are you standing here in all your godly beauty?
You: I have much power over death and the comings and goings of the Underworld. My soul simply dispersed there.
Cassie Cage: Yep. Thatâll do it.
-
Cassie Cage: SoâŠYou didnât happen to see that one dream, did you?
You: Iâve seen all your dreams, Cassandra. And Iâm flattered.
Cassie Cage: (clears throat) âŠRight.
-
Cassie Cage: Itâs a full moon
You: She calls to me and all who feel her light.
Cassie Cage:âŠYouâre not gonna turn into a werewolf, are you?
-
Cassie Cage: You gonna turn me into a frog, Goddess?
You: Itâs a possibility.
Cassie Cage: (shrugs) As long as you change me back with a kiss.
-
Cassie Cage: Heard you hung out with Jacqui.
You: Yes, though she didnât mention you at all.
Cassie Cage: She is the worst wing woman.
-
You: Youâve come to my crossroads. Do you need my guidance?
Cassie Cage: Just wondering if you could teach me a trick or two.
You: So itâs my protection you seek.
Shang Tsung: Your beauty entices me
You: My power entices you.
Shang Tsung: Two things can be true at once.
-
Shang Tsung: Soon, you shall be my bride.
You: You cannot tie down a Goddess; you cannot tie down the Night.
Shang Tsung: I can try.
-
Shang Tsung: Do my powers impress you, Goddess of magic?
You: They certainly intrigue me, Sorcerer.
Shang Tsung: Allow me to give you a closer look.
-
Shang Tsung: Every time I invoke my magic, I do so in your name.
You: Your loyalty changes with the moonâs phases.
Shang Tsung: I devote myself to you, my Goddess.
-
Shang Tsung: I want something more valuable than your soul.
You: Such as?
Shang Tsung: Your love.
-
Shang Tsung: You forgave Shinnok, but not I?
You: I did not forgive him. He killed me when I refused to be his bride.
Shang Tsung: I will succeed where he has failed.
-
Shang Tsung: I kneel at your altar, my Goddess.
You: You neednât prostrate yourself before me.
Shang Tsung: It is never a hardship to be on my knees for you.
-
You: Do you fear me?
Shang Tsung: Iâd be a fool not to.
You: Then why challenge me?
-
Shang Tsung: You have the godly brothers on quite a tight leash.
You: I demand no loyalty from them.
Shang Tsung: Itâs doubtful that they stray far from you.
-
You: Kronika spared me in hopes of using my powers. When I refused, she cast me into the void.
Shang Tsung: We have been similarly wronged by her.
You: That is why we must aid Luai Kang in defeating her.
-
Shang Tsung: You are the last Eldar God.
You: Yes. And I shall help Luai Kang in his creation of the new timeline.
Shang Tsung: Then this will be goodbye for now.
Taunts
You: The Wheel of Fortune comes for us all. You: Your future is uncertain. You: You cannot hide from the Nightâs embrace. You: Knell in repentance. You: Your path ends here. You: You are lost. You: It is simply an illusion. You: You challenge an Eldar God? You: Will you make an offering? You: You are forgiven. You: I will lead your spirit through the gates of the Netherrealm. You: You shall not pass. You: Are you seeing double? You: Allow me to guide you.
#mk11#mk#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 11#mortal kombat 1#mk11 x reader#shang tsung#shang tsung x reader#dark raiden#raiden#raiden x reader#dark raiden x reader#johnny cage#johnny cage x reader#erron black#erron black x reader#cassie cage#cassie cage x reader#flirty intro dialogue#mortal kombat intros
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I know undiagnosed depression is a hell of a thing but it sucks so bad to be on the end of someone telling you that they feel that they can't ever do anything right for you, and for it to be your own ma to boot
#this sucks major ass#i just wanna be stresss free for 5 minutes#i dont know how to help her anymore#or if I've been some secret part of the problem all along#maybe those dreams where her ex husband told me i couldnt help her with shit were true huh ahahhahas#rant //)#vent //)#mental health//
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Attention seeker - M. Rempe
pairing: Matt Rempe x Hughes!reader
summary: You and Matt are together. Quinn and Luke are cool with that but Jack? He's furious.
warning: swearing
words: 1.7k
note: thank you lovely anon for this request! hope you don't mind that i've made a whole fic instead of short blurbđ
hughes!reader masterlist
---
All your life was about hockey. Your brothers play it, your parents played it and you used to too. Although, for you the journey ended up when you got a nasty injury during one of the games and couldnât compete anymore. You felt sad at first, but this opened plenty of opportunities for you. When you graduated high school, you decided to leave Michigan. You didnât want to follow Quinnâs steps there.Â
New York was always your dream place to live. Thatâs why you decided to apply for university there. Thankfully, you got it and this is how your free life hockey started. At least this is what you thought. Your parents begged you to move with your brother Jack who was playing for New Jersey Devils. At first, you didnât like the idea of travelling every single day but eventually you agreed on that.Â
In May 2023, you decided to move out from Jackâs apartment. You graduated and wanted to be independent, plus Luke was coming to play with him and you didnât want to third wheel them. During the three years, you and Jack bonded and became the closest with each other. Earlier, he was always with Quinn while you were with Luke but now, it was you and Jack against them.Â
One thing that you learned about Jack was that he hated the New York Rangers. You get it that the teams have conflict but he took it personally. This is when everything you built with him fell down. You were always sharing the stories about guys with him and searching for help but now, you couldnât now. You knew that heâs dramatic and the last thing you wanted was an argument with him over who you are dating.Â
At the beginning of 2024, you met Matt. At first, you didnât know heâs a hockey player but two of you clicked immediately. You lived in your bubble with him until he started playing for Rangers. In that moment you knew that you canât tell this to your brothers. He understood it because he hated the New Jersey Devils and he wouldnât like his sister dating a player from this team.Â
You lived by yourself so you didnât have to sneak out behind your two brothers' backs with your relationship but every time Matt was coming to you, you felt the thrill that they might come by to visit. You believed that heâs your soulmate and didnât want to choose between him and your brothers. When things become serious between you and Matt, you have to share this with someone. You called your mom to break the news.
âMom, I met a guy and heâs been really good for meâ You started.
âThatâs wonderful! Tell me everything about himâ She was curious to know who won her daughterâ heart.
âHis name is Matt and heâs a hockey playerâÂ
âYou canât get out of the hockey worldâ Your mom jokes.
âBut thereâs a problemâŠâ You took a deep breath and continued. âHe plays for Rangersâ
âOhhh⊠Do your brothers know?â She asked.
âNo and you canât tell themâ You begged.
âYou have to tell them. Theyâll find out eventually and itâs better if they hear it from you and not from someone otherâ Your mom stated.
âYouâre right but I canât. At least for now. I just need to find a good occasion for this I guessâ You said and hung up.Â
The next few days you were thinking how to tell the news to your brothers. You werenât scared of Quinn and Lukeâ reaction. Jack was the one that scared you the most to tell this. For your luck, Quinn was living in a different country so you decided to tell him this first.
âI have a boyfriendâ You said the moment he picked up your phone.
âOkay, you need my blessing for this?â Quinn was confused why you told him that.Â
âNo but I need you to keep this as a secretâÂ
âWhy?âÂ
âItâs Matt from Rangers and you know how much Jack hates themâ You sighed.Â
âI wonât tell him that but you know that heâll find out? You live like 30 minutes from each otherâ He tried to convince you to admit this to Jack.
âI know but Iâm scared, you know Jack. Heâs a drama queenâ Quinn laughed at your words.Â
âWell, good luck with Jack and Iâm happy for you. It make sense why you were smiling that much latelyâÂ
âI did not!â You fought back.
After a week, you were ready to tell the news to Jack, but to your bad luck, Devils were playing against Rangers. You went to this game and the first thing you saw was a huge fight and of course, Matt was part of it. Now, your confidence in telling this to Jack disappeared. The game ended up and you went back to your apartment. You didnât want to see Matt or your brothers. You needed to rethink this whole situation.Â
Two hours later, you heard the ring door. You went to open and saw Matt in front of you. You let him but hadnât said a word.
âI came because you werenât answering your phoneâ He started. âEverything alright?â
âYeah, I still have my phone in my purse and havenât heardâ You lied.Â
Matt went and sat on your couch when you arrived next to him. He turned on the tv show you two have been watching lately. When the episode ended, you heard the ring door. Without even thinking, you went to open the door. You froze on the spot when you saw your brothers.Â
âUmm, what are you doing here?â You asked awkwardly.Â
âI donât know, we decided to visit our sister probablyâ Jack said and walked with Luke into your apartment.Â
âWhat are the noises?â Luke asked you but before you could answer, you two heard Jack.Â
âWhat the fuck does he do here?â He was fuming. It was a tense atmosphere there.
âHeâs there because⊠weâre datingâ You admitted. Jack looked at you with big eyes.Â
âWhat? Are you kidding me?â He couldnât believe what he just heard.
âIâm not, weâve been together for the past four monthsâ You started playing with your fingers and Luke noticed it. He knew it was your anxiety habit.
âJack, does it matter who she's dating?â Luke tried to talk to Jack but he didnât want to listen.
âYes! She canât fucking date him. From all of the guys you had to pick him?â He closed the distance between you two. âAre you that desperate for attention that you picked him?â
âWhat does it supposed to mean?â You argued.
âThat youâre an attention seeker! I get it, youâre mad that your brothers made it into NHL when you fucked your knee but thatâs on you. Youâve always been terrible in hockey anyways, but searching for attention by dating the worst player out there? Pathetic. Donât come to me when he makes you cry becauseâŠâ Before he could finish, Matt spoke.
âWhat the fuck did you just said to her? Youâre her brother and youâre blaming her for her injury and falling in love with someone you donât like? Youâre the pathetic one for thinking this low about your own sisterâ Jack hadnât responded. Only looked at you and saw tears in your eyes. He knew he screwed up but his ego didnât let him apologise. Instead, he left the apartment.Â
Matt quickly was by your side and hugged you. He let you cry into his chest while Luke was standing there, observing the whole situation.
âIâm so sorry for him. Heâs a dick for saying this to you. That was a low blow from him to bring your insecuritiesâ He said and you went to hug him.Â
âThanks Luke, are you mad too?âÂ
âIâm not thrilled that youâre dating Matt but I can see how much happiness and support he gives you and thatâs the most important thing right?â You nodded. âIâll try to talk with Jack about it but he just needs a moment to get used to itâ He hugged you and left. You were there alone with Matt.
âAre you okay?â He asked, concerned.
âIâll live. Can we get back to the tv show because I really donât want to talk about itâ You proposed and Matt agreed.
Couple days went by and you havenât heard a word from Jack. It hurt you that your own brother turned back on you only because youâre dating a guy from his rival team. Matt was all the time next to you trying to be supportive. Luke told everyone about the argument. Quinn and your parents were checking on you to see how you feel. They also spare a piece of their mind to Jack.
Jack was aware that he messed up real good. He knew how heartbroken you were about your injury and he just threw it into your face. He wanted to apologise and fix it but he didnât know how. He was scared that you might shut him down and ignore. It was the longest time when you two havenât spoken with each other and he felt weird without you by his side.Â
After his season was done, Jack finally found the bravery to visit you. He knew youâre not going home for summer because you have work. That's why his steps lead to your apartment. He knocked two times and waited. You opened the door not expecting to see him.
âIf you want to scream at me again, you can goâÂ
âNo, I want to apologise. Can I come in?â You stepped further into your place and he followed you.Â
âIâm listeningâ You crossed your arms on the chest.
âIâm so sorry for how I reacted. It was wrong. I was just shocked that youâre dating a Rangers guy but itâs not an excuse. I deeply regret saying everything I said. You didnât deserve it. I acted like a dickâ He said and you felt that his words were sincere.
âYou really acted like a dickâ You agreed with him.Â
âPlease, forgive me for that. Iâll take me some time to get use to it but I want you to be happyâ
âMatt makes me happy. He might be the biggest menace on the ice but off the ice, heâs the best guy around. I honestly donât remember the last time I had so much fun with someoneâ You sighed. âI donât need you to like him but at least act neutral towards himâ
âFine, but if he hurts youâŠâ You laughed hearing it. Jack pulled you into a hug, happy that you two sorted things out.Â
#matt rempe#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe oneshot#matt rempe fanfiction#matt rempe imagine#nhl#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#hartford wolfpack#new york rangers#jack hughes x reader#luke hughes x reader#quinn hughes x reader#new jersey devils#vancouver canucks#v' work
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Stay Away From Him
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Reader
Prompt: Miguel is jealous of your closeness with Hobie and tells you to stay from him.
A/N: Well I have had too much free time at work and all I've been doing is writing. Kinda love it. Also, how did y'all like Across the Spider-Verse? I saw it four times in theaters, it's like a drug in my veins. Anywho I figured I wanted to do a fanfic in a world that I haven't done yet so here it is!
Part 2
âHey, Y/N.â
âHey, Peter!â
âHey, Y/Nâ
âOh hey, Peters.â
âOi! Y/N!â Recognizing the accent, you look up in the air and see Hobie swinging his way over to you.
âHobie! What are you doing here?!â
This was your second week working inside the Spider-Verse headquarters. You were the only person there who wasnât some version of Spiderman. One day, Miguel OâHara was in your universe for a job, bing bang boom, next thing you knew, he offered you a job. Your job here at headquarters was to act as his assistant of sorts. Help him with errands, help him on missions, and fetch him lunch because the poor man will work until he starves. That was exactly what you are doing now. You had finished locating the latest anomaly and went down to the cafeteria to grab him some empanadas.
Working at headquarters was like a living dream. So far, everyone seems to like you and youâve already made friends. Hobie and Gwen welcomed you with open arms and the three of you became inseparable. During your time working with Miguel, you may have developed a little crush on your boss. You never told anyone about how your heart starts beating faster or how your breath gets shaky when he stands a little too close. Though, you never had to say because everyone could see it. And everyone warned you away from the infamous Miguel OâHara.
âHeâs not for you. Heâs obsessed with his work and barely knows what having fun or being nice is. I doubt he even knows thereâs a life outside of this place.â Gwen said one day during lunch.
âWhoâs not for me? What are you talking about? Iâm just here to work.â You shovel food into your mouth in an attempt to hide your face.
âMmhmm, sure. You can deny it all you want but if you keep staring at him all weird like that, even heâs going to start to notice. Just trust me, you should just try to stay away from him. Which I guess isnât possible since heâs your boss but you know what I mean.âÂ
âThough it does raise the question as to why he recruited her, donât it?â Hobie chimes in.Â
Hobie jumps on your back and it pulls you back to the present.
âIâm here for it! Whatchu think? I would willingly come here? Nah.â
âActually! We just finished a mission so we just came to check in with Miguel.â Gwen swings down and lands right next to you. The three of you continue walking side by side down the hall to Miguel. Hobie throws his arm casually around your shoulder, keeping you close to his side.
You walk into the main room and see that Miguel is standing on his platform up in the air. There are a few people milling around the room, minding their business. People tend to hover around Miguel in case any missions come up or if he needs help.
âMiguel! I got you some empanadas!â You yell up at him.
He turns and barely glances over his shoulder at the three of you. He grunts and rolls his eyes in annoyance but his platform starts its slow descent. Gwen runs over to Jessica and they start talking. Hobie walks with you over to your little desk that sits on the ground floor âŠ. like a regular person.
âSo we still on for tonight?â Hobie asks.
âWhatâs tonight?â You turn and ask Hobie. You lean your butt against the desk to look up at him. He gets in close, places his hands against the desk on both sides of you, and cages you in with his arms.
âWhatchu mean whatâs tonight? Did you forget already? Thought you and Gwen were staying in my place tonight!â Hobie teases you.
âOh, Hobie! I forgot about that, I canât come over.â Gwen yells over before she turns back to her conversation.
âGuess itâs just us then.â He mumbles and gives you a wink.
Before you could respond, Miguelâs voice booms through the large chamber.
âY/N isnât going anywhere tonight.â Looking over, you see that Miguel has lowered his platform as far as it could go and he is staring directly at the two of you with a deadly look on his face. All the conversations in the room died down and you could tell that everyone's eyes were looking between you and Miguel. Everyone treads carefully around Miguel ⊠everyone except Hobie.Â
âWhat? You keeping her hostage now?â
All of a sudden feeling nervous, unsure as to what put Miguel in a foul mood and not wanting to make it worse, you try to straighten up and stand in attention but Hobie isnât moving.Â
âWeâve got work to do here, Hobie. Unlike you, some of us have things we have to do.â Miguel crosses his arms and stares down at Hobie.Â
âWhat work? We caught all the known anomalies already. Plus I was going to work on my bike, give it some more bells and whistles.â Jessica pipes up.
âThereâs more work to do than just waiting around for things to happen.âÂ
âThen what do I gotta do, hmm?â Jessica sasses back to him.
âNothing. I, uh, just want to do some surveillance. Never know â
âAnd what Y/N got to do with it, then?â Hobie asks, giving Miguel a weird look.
âY/N is my assistant. Y/N must assist me. And get off of her Hobie.â
âRight, but it donât sound like there is any real work to do. I donât see why Y/N gotta sit here and suffer being around you. And, uh, Iâm actually quite comfortable where I am.â
âNo no, I donât mind. Itâs my job. I can stayâ You rush to say as you start pushing at Hobieâs shoulders.Â
Hobie turned slowly to look at you without budging and you just stared up at him. âMove.â you mouth to Hobie with beseechment in your eyes. But all he does is smile at you and barely visibly shakes his head âNoâ. Eyes wide, you think to yourself, Iâm not going to have a job after this. The room is still silent and no one speaks as the tension rises.Â
âEveryone out!â Miguel booms, âLooks like no one wants to work anyways. Itâs not as if weâre trying to save the entire universe or anything.âÂ
âOh! Miguel, we wanted to check in about the-â Gwen is cut off when Miguel turns back around to his monitors and yells, âOUT!â
Everyone exchanges nervous looks around the room while they pick up their things. The whole time though, Hobie is looking down at you with a knowing smirk on his face. âWhat are you smiling about?â You hiss at him as you push him up so you can grab your bag and head out.Â
âOh just something I think you should find out for yourself. And you might soon.â
âUgh, Iâm going to kill you.âÂ
Hobie throws his arm around you and leads you out, âYeah sure, but hey, looks like you can come over after all, aye?â
âEveryone except for Y/N!â You whirl around at the sudden sound but Miguel is still just looking at his monitors.
âDamn, looks like youâre going to find out real soon. See ya sweet cheeks.â Hobie gives you a wink and walks out with everyone else.Â
You stood in the doorway waiting for Miguelâs instructions but after a few beats, you realized that he wasnât going to turn around and talk to you. Slowly walking back to your desk, you couldnât help but notice how the tension in the room did not leave along with everyone else. It still lay thick and heavy in the air. Taking off your bag and placing it on your desk, you turn around to face Miguel. You open your mouth to say something to break the silence but he cuts you off.Â
âCome up here and help me look at this.âÂ
Your eyes grew wide and you hurried over to the dais. Your heartbeat started quickening with excitement, you have never been invited onto the platform before. Miguel looks down his nose at you with a disgusted look on his face as you struggle to even get your leg on the platform.
âSorry, donât got webs like yâall. Give me a second.â
You finally heave yourself up and flop over on your back, gulping down deep breaths of air. âYou know, Iâm starting to think Iâm out of shape.â Figuring that it was time to actually get to work, you jump up to your feet and face the monitors.
âAlrighty, so what am I looking at?â All of the monitors were showing different videos of different universes. Some other monitors had new articles and alerts of potential disturbances.Â
âJust, uh, keep an eye on some of the security cameras we have posted around. See if you catch any suspicious activity.â
âWere you expecting something to happen tonight? Did you get a tip?â
âNo, just doing our due diligence to keep everything in line.âÂ
Your brows furrowed in confusion and you gave Miguel a side-eye look. This is what heâs keeping me here to do? To watch some cameras?Â
The whole time he was talking to you and giving you instructions, he did not glance at you, just busily pressing buttons and typing something.
About 10 minutes went by in absolute silence with Miguel working and you ⊠âworkingâ. Getting bored and tired on your feet, you start leaning around the table and let out a sigh. Miguel looks at you over his shoulder but turns back to his work. Another 10 minutes go by before he asks, âSo you and Hobie are friends?â
Surprised by the question and surprised he even spoke, you responded, âYeah, I would like to think so. Heâs nice, I like hanging out with him.â
âYou two have gotten close?â
Getting confused by his line of questioning, you give him a weird look that he doesnât see. âI mean, I donât know about close. We hang out with Gwen too. Itâs usually the three of us.â
A few silent beats fall between the two of you before he responds, âI didnât know you were visiting different universes.â
âHmm, Iâm not really. Besides my own home universe, Iâve only just been to Hobieâs. I havenât seen Gwenâs though not even she goes back there.âÂ
Again he doesnât reply immediately and the comfortable silence continues.Â
âI would advise you to stay away from Hobie. He could be a bad influence on you or something.â He mumbles so quietly that you almost didnât catch it.Â
âIâm sorry?â You asked, turning your body full to look at him now.Â
âI said âyou should stayâ-â
âNo, I know what you said. But I donât understand why. Whatâs going on with you? Are you stressed about something? Do you not like Hobie? Because Hobie has been nothing but nice to me and heâs a friend. He keeps me safe even when I visit his universe.â
âAnd exactly how many times have you visited his universe, hmm? You two seem pretty comfortable flying across universes together.â It was his turn to turn and face you. Standing at his full height, the tops of your head barely came up to his collar bones.Â
âI-I- ⊠I donât know. A few times I guess? 4? Maybe 5 times? But-â
â5 times?! You met him not even two weeks ago and youâve already been hanging around him that much?â You were trying to explain to ease whatever caused his temper to rise. However, with every response you give, it only seems to anger him more. With every response, he is taking a step closer to you and walking you backward.
âI guess? But heâs my friend! And Iâve always been safe if thatâs the issue. He keeps me safe. I know Iâm not a Spider-Man like you but-â Miguel ignores your argument and cuts you off again.
âRight right and he keeps you safe which I am sure he is more than happy to do seeing as how heâs always getting up in your space. And what exactly do you do in his universe? You run around town like some hooligans and go back to your home universe when itâs late enough to be considered morning?â
âAh- No, we hang out at his place and have dinner and stuff, I donât know! And when it gets late I just stay over at his place!âÂ
âStay over?! What? Like overnight? Heâs got guest rooms now? Heâs hosting house parties?â Thereâs sarcasm dripping in his words but your brain was running too fast to notice.
âN-No he doesnât. Heâs not. He just lets me use his bed when Iâm too tired to go home and Iâd just wake up the next morning to come here.âÂ
All of a sudden, he takes one last step forward and you take one step back but your backside hits the table. He drops his hands on either side of you, exactly like how Hobie had you pinned against your desk earlier but this is different. This feels different. The tension is palpable. With Hobie, it was friendly and playful. With Miguel ⊠it feels like youâre getting hunted and just got caught.
âHe what?â Miguelâs voice isnât loud and angry anymore. No. Itâs low and deadly. His question comes out always like a whisper as he leads in so close that your noses are practically touching.
âI donât understand whatâs happening. Hobie is just my friend. Why does this feel like itâs a problem?â You whisper. Miguel doesnât reply. He simply stares at you with such intensity in his eyes, youâre surprised you didnât evaporate. Suddenly, heâs looking at your lips. Acting almost instinctively, your tongue shoots out to wet your lips and his eyes immediately shoot back up to yours. Thereâs the intensity in his eyes again, only this time, itâs different. Definitely not anger.
Suddenly, an alarm from Miguelâs monitor goes off and the sound is thunderous in the silent chamber.Â
After a few beats, Miguel drops his forehead on yours, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. The whole time, you never take your eyes off of him. Your heart is beating so fast and the blood is rushing in your ears. Very abruptly, he pushes off of the table and whirls around to the monitor. He turns off the alarm and starts typing away, completely ignoring you. Slowly pushing up from the table, you turn back to your own monitor and stare blankly at the empty alleyways and random buildings.Â
Where there was comfortable silence before, now, the silence is deafening.Â
âYou should go home Y/N. I can finish this up on my own.â
Not sure of how to act or how to respond, you slowly climb down from the platform without saying a word and fetch your things.
âAnd I mean home, Y/N. To your home universe. To your own house. To your own bed.â
Looking back up the dais, Miguel is still facing his monitors, not even looking at you when he talks. Hitching your bag higher up on your shoulder, you respond, âOf course. Goodnight, Miguel. And ⊠for what itâs worth ⊠he always slept on the couch.âÂ
And with that, you take off running down the hall and teleport back home.Â
#fanfiction#fanfic#spiderman imagine#spiderman fanfiction#spiderman fanfic#spiderman#spider man#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x y/n#miguel o'hara one shot#hobie#hobie brown#spider punk#spiderman x reader#spider man 2099
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Just A Week Ago
Summary: Paige grapples with death.
wc: 1,642
Contains: crying, death of a loved one, no happy ending
part two
a/n: This is probably the saddest thing I've ever written. Get your tissues ready.
______________________________
It's only been a week, and Paige still couldn't believe it. Just a week ago, you were cuddled up next to her. Just a week ago, the two of you were laughing well into the night, shushing each other through the giggles. Just a week ago, she was driving to your house every weekend. Just a week ago, you were driving home with her after picking her up from practice.
Just a week ago, her hand was on your thigh, singing terribly at the top of her lungs while you laughed at her. Just a week ago, she watched as the headlights didn't stop growing brighter, even as the light turned red. Just a week ago, she awoke on a stretcher, not being able to feel her arms. Just a week ago, she fought the pain and begged to know your wellbeing.
Just a week ago, she watched as the EMTâs gave you chest compression after chest compression, desperately fighting for your life. Just a week ago, she shoved the police, injured and all, to let her go with you. Just a week ago, she watched them roll you into emergency surgery. Just a week ago, she broke down in the middle of the lobby when the doctor told her they did all they could. Just a week ago, you were alive and well.
Until you werenât.
__________
Now she stood in the mirror, tears in her eyes as she made sure she looked presentable. The week had been a blur. She was there, but she really wasn't. She was lost in her own mind trying to grapple with the fact that you were, in fact, gone, and it wasn't some terrible dream.
Paige wasn't sure what the plans were, even when she was present when they were made. She knew she was supposed to give a speech on the podium, and she knew she wrote one down. Or attempted to. She's fairly certain her mom and teammates wrote the words down.
It can't be real. She canât have lost you. But she did. She was there when they told her you were gone. She was there.
A knock on her door breaks her free from her thoughts. She can't bring herself to answer, and she allows the person behind it to walk in. âHey, sweetie, you almost ready?â
Paige doesn't look away from the mirror, but she can tell by the voice that it's her mom. She stares at herself, hands running over the suit she's wearing. It's the same one you'd spotted in the mall over a year ago, and you'd dragged her into the store to try it on, rambling about how sexy she looked. And while she desperately wanted to go home and lay down, she couldn't deny that you were right. She did look good. She didn't buy it then, though. You'd surprised her with it on her birthday, and she complained about you spending money on her.
She hadn't worn it yet, the two of you were waiting for that one special moment. And while you weren't here to share it with her, she thought it was fitting. She knew she'd never have the guts to wear it anywhere else. So dead or alive, she still shared the moment with you.
âMhm.â Is all she says, taking one last look before turning around to look at her mom.
Her mom smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. âYou look beautiful, honey. She would've loved it.â She said, approaching the blonde, fixing the collar once more. Paige closed her eyes to avoid the tears from falling, but it didn't work as tears broke through her eyelids.
Amy wordlessly engulfed Paige in a hug, listening as her little girl broke all over again. Flashbacks of that night at the hospital flash through Amy's mind as she attempts to stay strong for Paige.
Eventually, Paige pulls away, eyes softening as she wipes her mom's tears. âLet's go.â She whispers.
Amy nods, grabbing Paige's hand and leading her out of the room.
_________
Paige had zoned out for most of the speeches. A lot of them were from people who didn't know you and were just offering their pity condolences, just so that they could say they were there.
She snaps out of it when her name is called to the stand. She looks at her mom, who pats her thigh encouragingly. She smiles as she clears her throat and walks to the stand.
âUh-â She clears her throat again, staring at the notes in her hand. âI'm sure most of you know me, but for those of you who don't, my name is Paige Bueckers, and I'm Y/N's girlfriend.â She pauses. âOr-or was.â she clears her throat again.
âAny-anyway. Uh-â She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, just like you'd always tell her to do. It didn't work as well as when you did it, but it helped her enough for her to continue. She looked down at the cards.
âYou all know the type of person Y/N was. She was the type where you could tell her anything, and she'd support you, even if it was the dumbest decision on earth. If you were set on the decision, then so was she. She'd give you her advice and opinion if you asked for it, and then she'd leave it to you. Then, if you faced the consequences, she'd give you a look, but she'd never say anything. She'd hold you and wouldn't let you go until you felt better.â she looked up from the cards and glanced around the room.
âThat's what she did when I tore my ACL. She was there the whole time, holding my hand, never letting go, unless it was to hand me a tissue.â She laughed a little, but it was getting harder to keep her composure. Fuck it. she ditches her cards, and decides to speak from her heart. That's what she was the best at.
âIt's a Sunday. Y/N always loved Sundays. She'd always get all dressed up, even though it was just for church. Today, I would've slept in, grappling with the fact that I don't get to see her or hold her anymore. For the first time, God was the last thing on my mind.â
âShe was there for everybody. Even if you wronged her, if you asked her for anything, she'd give it to you. She believed in second chances, even for people who didn't deserve them. She of all people should've gotten a second chance. But that was taken from her, by somebody who she'd probably give one to.â Tears have fallen now, and there was no stopping them.
âThe day I asked her to be my girlfriend, she asked me if I trusted her with my heart. If I trusted, she'd take it and keep it safe forever. She kept that promise. She took it, and she kept it, and she locked it in a box. She kept it safe. Unfortunately, she held onto that key when she left.â She reaches for a tissue. âAnd that I'm forever grateful. I can't think of anybody better than her to have that key.â
âI just hope she uses it to unlock the box when I see her again. She was a beloved sister, daughter, friend, teammate, and girlfriend. She lives in our memory forever. So to Y/N.
I miss you more than life. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to hear that little laugh you do. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to hold your hand again. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do to say one more âI love you.â I wish I could take it back. I wish I'd seen the car. I wish I had seen anything. Sometimes I wish it was me who went, but then I remember that then, it would be you up here in tears, and I don't know if I could be happy knowing that you're not.â
âIt's only been a week. It's been the longest week of my life. I'll tell you about when I see you again. For now, I'll settle for knowing that you're in a better place, that you're safe and out of harm's way. Don't worry, I'll save your voice in my head. You promised never to leave me. You just left too soon.â
âSo to the best girlfriend in the world, we'll save you a seat. You've always got a place at the table, even if you're watching with the angels. I promise never to let you go. I promise to always make you proud. I promise to make it for you. Every basketball shot. Every tear that falls, every game that's won. It's for you.â
âBecause even though you're gone, you're still in our hearts. My heart. Even if we can't see you, or talk to you, or hold you, the memories are enough to keep us going. You gave me the best memories, I just never thought that you'd become one yourself.â
âGoodbyes are hard for me. They always have been. I don't want to say goodbye because this one would mean forever. So instead, this is a âsee you laterâ.â
âI love you.â
âAnd to you all, never take family for granted. Because grief is the price we pay for love. So say that âI love youâ. Because you'll never know when it will be your last one.â
___________
The Huskies play a video at the next game in honor of you. They play with pins on their shirts in honor of you. They play for you. They won the national championship in honor of you. Paige gets drafted to the WNBA in honor of you.
Because even after all this time. you still have the key to her heart.
______________________________
taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerslover @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie @averagelobotomyenjoyer @elliewilliamsthang @chelisbae @angelscovee
#patsworks#paige bueckers#paige buckers#paige bueckers x reader#paige#paige x reader#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers head cannons#paige bueckers headcannons#uconn#uconn basketball#uconn wbb#uconnwbb#uconn huskies#uconn wcbb#uconn womenâs basketball#uconn x reader#wbb x reader#wbb#wcbb x reader#wcbb
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a growing family pt. 2
a/n: yay for part 2!! read part one here
word count: 1.8k
warnings: pregnancy, pretty canon-level violence and stuff i think. also i'm sorry in advance about this part <3
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"Now, Mr. Snow, you and your wife leave tomorrow for your District Tour." Lucky Flickerman spoke into microphone, eyes bouncing between Coriolanus and you.
Coriolanus nodded, not quite sure where this was going. He was briefed on the. main topics that Flickerman would go over during the interview and this was not one of them.
"Is there any worry about the twins? Congratulations, by the way! Twins! How lucky are you!"
You smiled, patting your husband's hand to signal that you would answer this question.
"Thank you, Lucky," you started, sweet smile on your face. "I've been in conversation with my medical team, and we've all come to an agreement that it's quite safe for me to travel with Coriolanus and the rest of his cabinet. I'm not due for another couple of months, anyway."
Coriolanus smiled at you, voicing his answer, as well. "We've also spoken to the OB/GYN, and she will be joining us on the latter half of the tour. We hope she can just enjoy the travel, not needed for any medical emergencies."
Lucky nodded, satisfied with that answer. "Now, Coriolanus, you've mentioned in some changes to the Hunger Games in the coming years. We've had questions coming in from watchers, but first, a few words from our generous sponsors."
The red light went off on top of the cameras, and you let the superficial smile fall from your face, hand going to rub your lower back.
"Your back still hurt, love?" Coriolanus asked, noticing your discomfort.
"I think our kids are going to be soccer professional, Coryo." You grumbled, one of the twins had been kicking mercilessly for a few weeks.
Coriolanus chuckled, removing your hand, using his palm to massage the area. "Well, you can tell them off when they're out here."
Lucky, who had been observing the couple from his spot on the seat across from them, wore a smile. "One thing that my wife asked I do when she was pregnant with Caesar was massage her back every night. Sometimes she still makes me do it."
You smiled at the TV host, humming. "Not a bad idea. Coryo, I think I know what your next job will be."
Coriolanus snorted, hand still massaging your back. "Anything for the mother of my children."
-----
The train car you were currently seated in was more luxurious than you remembered, seats having been upholstered from your last trip out of the Capitol.
You looked away from the mountain ranges decorating the horizon when the door opened, Coriolanus entering.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, coming to sit in the seat across from you, moving your feet from the seat to his lap.
Humming, you leant your head back as he began massaging them. "Better now. What was that meeting for? I thought you had travel days free."
Coriolanus pondered over how to answer, not wanting to tell you he had just had some rebels executed for a potential threat in Six. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."
Opening an eye to look at him, you could read the man like an open book. "How many were there?"
There was a beat of silence before Coriolanus spoke up.
"Four. Would have been three but some things you can't avoid."
You didn't reply, simply wiggling your foot when Coriolanus' hands stopped massaging the arch of your foot.
He laughed, resuming the action as you two watched the mountain ranges and nature outside of the train.
-----
You yawned, staring at the ceiling of the Crane's hotel in District Three. It was nearing one in the morning, and you had gotten a sum total of about two and a half hours since you and Coriolanus crawled into the bed.
Moving as quietly as you could, you rose from the bed, waiting a beat to see if Coriolanus woke up.
His rather loud snore told you he was still off dreaming, something you were thankful for. He had a lot on his shoulders, and you didn't want to add onto the never-ending pile of worry and stress with the upcoming election.
Moving to the bathroom, you softly closed the door and looked at yourself in the mirror. The twins had been keeping you up at night more frequently, and your OB/GYN said it was just because while they were starting to get a regular sleep pattern, they couldn't tell day from night and often slept during the day.
When you opened the door, you frowned when you saw your husband sitting up in the bed, cheek still indented from the creases in the pillow.
"What are you doing up?" He asked, voice hoarse from sleep.
Rubbing one hand across your ever-growing bump, sleepily blinking at the man across from you. "Your children are wide awake, it seems."
Coriolanus smiled, patting the spot you had previously occupied. "Come here, I'll rub your back."
With the promise of that, you made your way back into the bed, stuffing one of the many pillows on the bed between your knees.
"Oh, well hello, little one."
You looked at where Coriolanus was staring at your bump, tiny foot barely visible. "Oh that's the most disturbing thing I think I've ever seen."
"Don't say that!" Coriolanus chided, though there was a smile on his face. "That's your child in there!"
"Coryo, you shouldn't be able to see their hands from outside!" You laughed, even though your OB/GYN said it was very possible to start to see little hands and feet as there became less and less free space.
Coriolanus pressed a kiss to your hairline, rubbing the place where the foot was. "Hi, babies. Please let your mother sleep, she needs to help me win over the hearts of Panem."
Rolling your eyes, you moved Coriolanus' hand to your back, letting your head fall back against a pillow. "Rub my back."
"Yes dear."
-----
Hand clasped tightly in Coriolanus' you two followed the Peacekeepers to the barracks to meet with the district's mayor and Commanding Peacekeeper.
You two had won the hearts over a majority of each District you've visited, but as you two traveled farther from the Capitol, you knew it would be more difficult and the chance of threats and rebels increased.
The number of Peacekeepers surrounding you two had grown within each stop, Coriolanus wanting to make sure nothing happened to his wife and mother of his children, his heirs.
"Mr. and Mrs. Snow, we're very pleased you two could be here!" The mayor smiled, shaking both of your hands.
You returned the sentiment, eyes locked on the plush-looking chair behind him. "Is it alright if I sit? My feet are killing me."
The mayor, who seemed to have just realized how large your bump had grown, nodded quickly, gesturing to the chair you had pointed to.
Coriolanus stood behind you, one hand smoothing your hair as he and the mayor discussed the afternoon's speeches and tour around the main hub.
"Will you be joining us, Mrs. Snow?"
"No, she's been feeling a little more tired." Coriolanus replied before you could speak up.
The mayor frowned, seemingly disappointed.
"Is there a problem?" You asked, feeling Coriolanus' hand still at the nape of your neck.
"Well, the children here have been so excited to meet you, but I'm sure seeing Mr. Snow will be just as fine."
Coriolanus knew you had a soft spot for children, how they still saw the best in everything. "Love, you barely slept last night. It's safer if you rest."
"Coryo, it won't be too long. And besides, we have a couple travel days I can catch up on sleep."
You ignored your husband's deep frown, instead smiling at the mayor. "We can't possibly let the kids down, can we?"
The mayor clapped happily, rising from his seat. "Well then, shall we go?"
You stood from the chair with some help from your husband, who placed a hand on your lower back, unable to keep his hands off of you.
"You're a spoiled brat, you know that?" He whispered, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
"And you love me for it." You replied, sharp smile on your face.
-----
Coriolanus watched as you followed a few of the schoolchildren around the classroom, letting them explain the backgrounds of their various posters and projects.
"She's going to be a wonderful mother." The mayor spoke, standing next to Coriolanus.
He nodded, watching you kneel down to listen more to a rather small girl, your eyes focused on her entirely. "She already is."
"Mr. Snow, Mayor, we're going to be late if we don't head for the town square now."
Nodding, Coriolanus walked over to your side, kneeling down next to you and the young girl. "Hi, love. Mind introducing me to your friend?"
You looked at your husband, and then at the young girl. "Coryo, meet Clementine. Her friends call her Clemmie."
Coriolanus saw the twinkle in your eye as you looked back at the girl. "It's lovely to meet you, Clemmie. You know, Mrs. Snow and I have a friend named Clemmie."
"Really?" Little Clementine asked, eyes wide.
Nodding, Coriolanus helped you stand up straight. "We do, but don't worry, we can have two Clemmies. Now, I do have to steal Mrs. Snow now, we have to go to town square."
Clementine pouted, but nodded. "It was nice to meet you!"
"You, too, Clemmie! Good luck with your new brother!" You smiled, squeezing Coriolanus' hand as the two of you followed some Peacekeepers out of the school and down to the town square and stage.
You've only seen the stage on television for the Reaping Ceremonies, it looked larger on screen. "She was so sweet, Coryo. She was telling me how her mother looked like me and now she has a little brother."
Coriolanus smiled, thumb rubbing your hand. "That's very sweet. I'm sure you made her ent-"
A loud explosion cut Coriolanus off, Peacekeepers immediately springing into action, separating the two of you to get you both to safety.
There were a few more explosions around the stage, sending debris and dirt in the air.
"Coryo!" You called, trying to wriggle out of the Peacekeepers' grip and find your husband.
You coughed as you inhaled smoke, eyes wide to spot Coriolanus. "Let me go! I need to find Coriolanus!"
"Ma'am, you need to come with us! We have orders to bring both you and Mr. Snow to a safe room, please cooperate."
You had a disdain for the Peacekeeper who spoke to you rather harshly, feeling his hands tighten their grip on your bicep.
Stumbling a few times, you had finally made it to the small bunker, heart hammering when you saw Coriolanus and the mayor already in there, dirt on both of their faces and clothing.
"Love," Coriolanus sighed in relief, though it was short-lived as he ran his eyes over your body. "Love, you're bleeding."
-----
a/n: oh how i love a good cliff-hanger
#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus x reader#hunger games imagine#coriolanus x you#hunger games x reader#hunger games tbosas#coriolanus snow
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