#i've been sick and all that's been occupying my brain is him <3< /div>
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christronomy · 2 years ago
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coffee flavored kisses // kim seungmin
cw : fluff again, but it's seungmin <3 childhood friends to lovers, kissing, just seungmin who likes taking you out on late night adventures and confesses his love for you me and who fr. read a/n at the end <3.
he dragged you out of your apartment late at night to take you to this new café he'd mentioned before. it's pretty small and cozy, close to the outskirts of town, open til very late, and they sell cheap but delicious drinks, and cutely decorated baked goods.
you both ordered hot coffees, since it was starting to get cold, and you're now sat together at the very end of an empty subway train, on your way to nowhere in particular, drinking and chatting away. your whispers and occasional laughter are the only sounds that can be heard, aside from the occasional screeching of the train coming to a halt at it's designated stops.
seungmin has always thought you were so beautiful, but now it seems as though you're even more beautiful than before, if that was even possible. maybe it's the way that the dim lights in the train accentuate your features, like your soft smile, or maybe it's the way your hair almost falls over your face when you laugh and cover your face with your hands. maybe it's all those things, but whatever it is, it's definitely making him fall even more in love with you than ever. if it were up to him, he'd stay on this train with you forever.
something must've gotten into him as he watched you talk, because he couldn't help but take your face in his hands, pulling you in slowly for a kiss mid-sentence. it catches you off guard, but the taste of coffee is so sweet on both of your lips, even sweeter now because he's kissing you. you can't bring yourself to pull away, and he can't either, letting himself get lost in you.
when you finally pull away from each other to catch a breath, he smiles at you adoringly, eyes locking onto yours as he gently tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. "i love you," he says suddenly, and he can't believe he actually admitted it out loud, but it's freeing, in a way, because he hadn't been able to muster up the courage to tell you until now. he searches your face for any reason to take back what he said, but you don't give him one. instead, you smile back at him and pull him in for another kiss, eager to taste him on your lips again.
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an : hi hi it's been so long like, 3 months ? since i last posted anything and i feel so so bad but school and my shit immune system have been kicking my ass lately. i was also kinda nervous about posting this tbh you have no idea the amount of times i edited and changed stuff but it's okay cause it's seungmin and we all love seungmin. p.s. thank you for the love on my previous works, i appreciate y'all like a lot. muah &lt;3
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swanqueendaughter · 6 months ago
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911 BUDDIE THOUGHTS
So after the last episode of 911, I need to speak out:
1. I'm so sick of people who write that using buddie scenes to promote an episode is the norm of media production, not queerbaiting. Of course, Buddie's fandom is the most numerous, it can be seen from any social networks and comments, so this step is quite dirty, but of course effective for promotion.
2. I've been watching this series for the last 7 years since season 1, but I wasn't buddie shipper until season 7. I mean, I caught a certain vibe in seasons 2-3, but only 7.04 made me consider this pairing seriously. The whole episode was literally saturated with Buck's jealousy of Eddie. And no, fans of Buck and Tommy relationship, we're not delulu. Buck literally tells Maddie when they have lunch at the call center that he was jealous and wanted to get EDDIE's attention. However, in the last scene, he really tells Tommy that he wanted to get his attention, which of course does not fit into my brain, but the kiss and the arc of bi-Buck really distract my attention from this mess. I would also like to highlight the scene in the gym where Tommy wasn't even there and the scene where Buck pushes Eddie on the basketball court. Can you imagine that Buck, our sweet kind-hearted Buck, is pushing his best friend for the guy's attention? No way. What I see is an incredibly jealous friend who is seething with indignation that Eddie is trying to replace him in his opinion. And the scene with Tommy, where he assures Buck that no one is going to replace him, especially since Christopher wouldn't allow it? The whole arc comes down to the fact that no matter how selfish it is, Buck wants to occupy all areas of Eddie's life (his free time hanging out as best friends, being part of his family with Christopher and being number 1 for his child).
I mean, this whole arc has only two readings - the first is Buck, who is not aware of his feelings for Eddie, being burdened by his heterosexual role and their friendship, chooses to turn his attention to a more accessible option - Tommy, who has a similar background and interests with Eddie. The second is, of course, buddy's queerboating,  writers/producers might well have no desire to lose some of the conservative audience by making Eddie queer character. So in this matter, maybe Oliver/Buck was just lucky to pull out a successful plot straw (I mean, at least for media PR), while Ryan/Eddie (who originally should have had a love line with Tommy) got an unenviable plot with Marisol. 
3.I can't help but speak out about this absurd Eddie/Marisol arc. I mean, it hardly seems to be successful in any way, not even for buddie's shippers. This is literally Cap saying that love can be met by chance, implying his relationship with Athena. Eddie listens to him and, as if trying to copy this scenario, "falls in love" with the first girl he sees. It's absurd.
4.Eddie definitely has a problem with relationships with girls. There is a clear feeling that he chooses them relative to their qualities, and not the special bond they share. He married Shannon because she got pregnant, and the opinion of religious parents played a role. Over time, Eddie could love the idea of their small family, because Shannon was a good woman, but she was not Eddie's partner, so as soon as the first difficulties arose, Eddie ran away, instead of somehow solving the problem, and then Shannon ran away. Sad.
Eddie and Shannon's attempt to rekindle their relationship was doomed from the very beginning, and I think when Shannon realized the dysfunctionality of their marriage, she asked for a divorce. Thanks Shannon!  
Anna was just another girl who met Eddie's criteria, an ideal potential wife and mother for Christopher, but who did not have an emotional connection with him. And although the screenwriters tried to fool us with a picture of the perfect happy couple, albeit slightly unsettled Eddie, as a result it turned out that he did not develop the slightest feelings for Anna. I mean, he had a panic attack at the thought of Anna as his wife!! What a shame!
5.I understand that some people have been watching the show for so long that they start to forget the plot of the first seasons of the series. However, I advise you to review the flashbacks with Tommy in order to form an opinion about him not as Buck's love interest. but behind the beautiful picture there is a completely faded and indifferent character to the fate of the team members. His evolution after he changed jobs and came out of the closet is pretty ridiculous. Yes, I see a handsome, confident man who has done just one good deed so far. But I still have no idea where this evolution comes from. Does coming out make you a different person? Doubtful. Lou is a wonderful actor, but I don't share Tommies's admiration as a character. He's cool and confident, but there doesn't seem to be anything behind that facade.
6. Buck and Tommy. The sexual energy between the characters, which is useful for creating spectacular passionate kisses and perhaps something more, is undeniable. I like to see Buck exploring his sexuality. But as for the emotional component? An absolute hopeless abyss. The scene with the costumes for the bachelor party was quite revealing. Is it possible to fill it with a decent emotional component? With the good work of the screenwriters, yes. But the truth is that good true canonical engames click right away (Madney, Cap and Athena).
7. Should we expect a Buddie canon? I think season 7 can be considered the last to summarize this issue. Remembering such series as Castle, Bones and the Mentalist, the pairs of main characters did not become canon right away, where by season 4-6. Perhaps the pair of Jane and Lisbon was the longest in this matter, and the most controversial according to the reviews of the audience (meaning that not everyone believed that there would become canon couple). They only got together in the season 6 finale. This is also season 6 for Badie, so I think everything will be resolved this season. Waiting for the canon in season 8, unless a direct indication is given in the finale 7 (awareness of the feelings of at least one of them)!would be absurd. I'm not calling on buddies's entire fandom to quit watching the series (although in the case of outright queerboating of this fandom, it would be fair), but I would urge my sensitive friends to stop deluding themselves at the end of this season.
7. To sum up, I would advise the screenwriters to start writing good love lines for Buck and Eddie, if they are at least as capable of it. Because what's happening on the screen right now is pretty disappointing.
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sanddusted-wisteria · 5 months ago
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Doodle Dump, 4/2024 - Now (part 2)
I hit the image limit on the last part, so here's the rest of my doodling lol.
[Another long post below]
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Qi needs to be bridal/princess carried. idk what else to say aldkfjlakdr
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I seriously doubt that the builder's able to get off completely psychologically unscathed from all the spoiler events, especially if they're anything like Wis and just wanted to live their silly simple lil builder life :( This idea and others like it are being shelved for the moment bc her longfic is already a ton to think about and that only takes us to the end of the spoiler arc...
Tears prickled at Qi’s own eyes as his heart swelled. The lump in his throat stoppered any words he could have said. He held her tighter, feeling an ache with every one of her sobs. “I’m just…e-exhausted,” Wisteria whispered as her tears subsided enough for her to speak. She sniffed, taking another shaky breath in. “I-I…I never asked for any of this. This…this ‘hero’ bullshit. I just w-w… I never— I-I-I…” She gasped a few shallow breaths. “I’m just a builder…”
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Mel (@/illusidy) introduced me to this great pencil brush on CSP (SU cream pencil) and I've been using it ever since :>
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Another outfit for Wis <3
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Since Wis is a clone, she and the others would make for a sick blind box/gacha series asldkrlakj
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Also, underneath all the heavyhanded emotions and symbolism I'm writing for her, Wis always exists like this in my brain.
What a nerd. <3
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We were thinking up genderbends over on OTAS, and the only name I could come up with for M!Wis was "Winston" 💀 It sounded like a butler name, so his story is that he was hired by Yan to make him look all cool and rich lol. What he really wants is to open his own hotel, but that's expensive, so he has to do other bit work he can with a hospitality degree. Probably bonds with Qi in that both of them have big dreams and an interest in relics, until oops, they're crushing on each other. Qi'll probably offer Winston an assistant position so he can earn more than the pennies that Yan gives him...totally not bc he likes him and hates watching him toil for nothing...
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Some silly doodles with Duvos!Wis, ft. @/spookemsdukems 's "Builder", @/florisam 's Lev, and @peenuttg 's Saran :> (don't worry, she's got a newer prosthetic elsewhere...she's just keeping "Builder" occupied)
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I just needed to see them in lab coats :>
And that's it for now! Hopefully I'll be better about posting stuff here in the future lol. Thanks for reading if you've made it all the way down both posts. <3
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jerzwriter · 1 year ago
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A Family Affair
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Book:                   Open Heart (Book 3 Timeline)
Pairing:                Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey)
Rating:                 Teen
Warnings: Some characters are anti-pride/queerphobic
Summary:   Several months into their relationship, Tobias takes Casey to meet his late father's family. Casey is apprehensive. The rich and powerful Carricks occupy a world she is not comfortable with. The evening is tense but bearable until the topic of pride month is broached.
Words: 4,900
A/N: I've been working on this for a while, and OMG, once my dog got sick, writer's block hit hard. It's a very important fic to me, so I hope it did it justice; the brain is still kind of mush, but I don't want to sit on this any longer. I'll likely read it tomorrow, cry, and edit. lol Participating in @choicesficwriterscreations pride bingo, family, @choicesjunechallenge pride month, and @choicespride familial relationships
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He had imagined this for some time now.  Ever since the night Casey confirmed she loved him every bit as much as he loved her, it took all of Tobias’s restraint not to shout it from the rooftops.  He was thirty-seven before the seemingly impossible was achieved: he found a woman that made forever seem like too short a time.  Now that she was here, he wanted to tell the world. But the world included his family, even his late father’s side, who he tended to avoid.  His father was no longer here, but his family was.  So when his Aunt Pauline invited him to a gathering at her Washington, DC home, he jumped at the chance to attend. An act that left him a bit baffled and left Casey a bit terrified. 
Today, she was a bright, rising star in the medical world. With an Ivy League education and a string of publications under her belt, everyone knew Dr. Casey MacTavish was destined for great things. But deep down, she would always be that little girl that grew up in South Philly. The one for whom back-to-school shopping didn't entail a trip downtown or to the mall but sifting through her cousin’s hand-me-downs on the living room floor. While she always knew food would always be on the table, it could be… creative at times. Cars and vacations? They only existed on the family’s small, antiquated television that always seemed to be on the fritz. Still, she knew she was rich in many ways.  Her loving, accepting family provided her with all the tools she needed to become the woman she was today.
Tobias wasn’t a complete stranger to the life Casey had led; his mother’s family shared a similar background, so he had a point of reference; but he was born a Carrick and lived in another world.  A place so foreign to most, it may as well have been thousands of miles away. Old money, accompanied by the power and trappings that came with it. His childhood was filled with homes that rivaled museums.  Servants, cars, travel, and excess most could only imagine were part of his daily life. But all that glitters is not gold. 
Demanding, unaccepting, and unforgiving of those who didn’t follow family edicts would pay a price.  Sure, they were careful to present a united front to the world; polite society required it.  But when the doors were shut,  a darker picture emerged. Tobias bore the scars of his childhood; still, as an adult, he knew how to navigate his family’s world with ease, even if it was with a touch of disdain. But tonight, the man was too enamored to believe anything could go wrong.
He waited at the bottom of the grand staircase that was the centerpiece of his childhood home as Casey descended.  Dressed in the elegant black silk sheath and matching shawl he gifted her, it was nothing a newly minted doctor with a mountain of debt could afford on her own. His mother's geometric gold necklace adorned her neck; it was stunning, even if not exactly to her taste.  It looked like a work of art and had a price tag that could back that claim.   
She was a vision, and Tobias couldn’t peel his eyes away.  Heat rose to Casey’s cheeks under his gaze, and she turned to him with a coy smile. 
“What are you looking at?” She teased.
“The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he answered at once.
“You’re smooth as ever, aren’t you, Carrick?”
“If I’m talking to you, it’s not being smooth; I’m simply stating facts. Are you ready to go?” 
Casey let out a deep breath, careful to conceal her apprehension with a warrior’s smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”
She was uncharacteristically quiet as the couple’s Town Car meandered through the congested city streets.  Her eyes were glued to the window, and her grip on his hand seemed to tighten with every second that passed.  She could do this; she reminded herself.  She could fit into his world, even if it was a world she had no desire to fit into. 
Most would consider it a bonus, learning the person they fell in love with came from enormous wealth, but Casey wasn't most people. She had already fallen in love with Tobias when she learned he was one of the Carricks… and she was less than thrilled.  But, if she wanted a future with him, and she wanted that with all her heart, she had to find a way to make his world a part of her own…  at least when they visited.
"You don’t have to be worried about tonight,” he reassured.
"I'm not," she half-smiled.
"You lie like a cheap rug,” he snickered, happy to see her laugh.  Tobias may have been part of this world, but he was a man of his own design. 
"It's just...." she stalled with a huff.
"You're nervous... I get it… this side of my family can be a lot, even for me. But remember, no one in that room means more to me than you… and you've already won over the only Carrick who matters."
"Your mother?" she grinned.
"Well, obviously,” he laughed. “But I meant me. Don’t worry, Casey, everything will be fine.”
He told her who would be in attendance in advance to help put her at ease.  His Aunt Pauline, the hostess, and her husband, Harold.  Any number of their many children or grandchildren could be there.  His late father’s brother William, also known as Uncle Bill, and his wife Mandy would be there.  They were the safe spot, he advised.  When in doubt, stick with them.   A multitude of distant cousins were on the guest list, though he didn’t know who would show. 
“... and of course, Jordan will be there, so you’ll know someone other than me.”
“I wish your Mom were going,” Casey sighed wearily.  “She wouldn’t let anyone mess with me.”
“And you think I will!” he blurted as they pulled up in front of the impressive home. “Come on, sweetheart.  We’ve got this.” 
For a while, it seemed like they did. Everyone was eager to meet her. After all, she was the shiny new thing. Tobias was finally bringing a woman home, and they were quite certain many showed up tonight just to make sure it was true. While comment after comment was made about how amazed they were; many left her feeling she wasn’t necessarily who they would have cast in the role. 
“So this is who Vivian keeps going on and on about….” “You’re also a physician, I hear ….” “I hear you graduated from Perelman.. that’s impressive, especially given your background….” “You grew up in Philadelphia.  Were you acquainted with Marses? If you went to the St. Martin Country Club, you simply had to….” 
Casey handled it well, despite her desire to return home. Then, William Carrick arrived.  His late father’s only sibling, Tobias’s eyes went bright when he entered the room.
“Uncle Bill!” he yelled, earning judgemental stares for his outburst.  “That’s my dad’s brother. One of the few people I like here,” he whispered.  “He’s going to adore you.”
Casey smiled graciously while shaking the kind-faced, grey-haired man’s hand. He was easy to talk to and immediately put her at ease. His wife, Mandy, was just as lovely. Tobias’s brother, Jordan, arrived and joined the group.  Matching his brother’s energy, he threw his arm around Casey with a smile, and for the first time that night, she breathed a sigh of relief; perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad after all. 
Dinner was finally served, and Casey was flanked by Tobias and Jordan.  The former joked that he was seated at the kid's section when several cousins, closer in age to Casey and Jordan than himself, sat nearby. After introductions were made, the cousins continued the conversation they were previously engaged in without making an attempt to bring the others in.
“So, you’re working on his campaign,” a flaxen-hared man in an overpriced dinner jacket asked.
“Of course!” his prematurely balding counterpart replied. “Virginia is still a swing state. It’s imperative we do all we can to change that.”
“Your favorite color was always red,” his date replied to a chorus of laughter.  
Casey bit her cheek.  She was well aware that many present had different beliefs than she, or even Tobias, held. But that wasn’t anything she wanted to bring to the forefront tonight. Tobias caught her eye and gave her a little smirk.
“Don’t worry,” she whispered. “I’ll behave.”
“I didn’t ask you to behave.”
“I will anyway.” 
And she did.  As the conversation turned to “that dreaded Senator Sanders” and how healthcare for all would destroy the country, she clenched her napkin and didn’t share how the fight for equal access to healthcare was something she worked tirelessly for.  A calling she felt as a doctor. She poured another glass of wine just before immigration became the topic of discussion, and this time, someone asked her opinion. 
“We all descend from immigrants, did we not?” she said through clenched teeth. “I think it’s important to remember that.” 
Tobias’s Uncle Bill shot her a sympathetic smile from down the table and did his best to change the topic to something more benign. But despite his best efforts, it always veered back to something divisive. 
“Do they serve anything stronger than wine at these soirees?” Casey whispered to Tobias. “Because I’m starting to think I may need it.” 
“Is this too much?” he asked. “We can go if you like.”
“Dessert hasn’t even been served yet. I’m assuming that’s when we’ll have a reflection on the teachings of Ayn Rand…who would want to miss that?”
“Oh, I wish Ma was here to see this,” he laughed. “She’s been dying for some companionship at these events.”
“I’m sure. But how are you?” she asked. “You float among them so easily, but it’s like….”
“I’m a square peg in a round hole,” he finished before downing the rest of his wine. “That’s exactly what I am. Trust, except for Uncle Bill and Aunt Mandy, you won’t see these people more than once every two years… and at funerals.”
“You said funeral with too much delight,” she chuckled.
“Only certain funerals.  I’m going to head to the restroom. Care to join me,” he said, with a wiggle of his brows. 
“Oh, sure!” She grinned. “Being caught getting frisky with you in the bathroom is not something I plan to do on my first meeting with these people.” 
“You’re right,” he nodded as he stood up. “We should wait until at least your third visit for that.” 
When Tobias returned to the table, Aunt Pauline met his gaze with a sparkle in her eye.
“Tobias, Casey is just delightful. Please tell me you're serious with her," she swooned. 
Tobias placed his arm around Casey’s shoulder and pulled her close.  
“Very much so. I have no intention of letting her get away.”
“Is that why we were instructed to lock the doors upon your arrival?” Uncle Bill teased.
“Hey, I’m not taking my chances,” Tobias chortled.
“Well, I couldn’t be happier!” Aunt Pauline beamed. “Your mother was right! She was worth the wait. You’re a lucky man, Tobias.”
“Thank you,” Casey blushed. “But trust me, I’m the lucky one.”
A cousin sipping an after-dinner drink scoffed at her remark. “No doubt you are,” he sneered. While Casey heard him perfectly clear, the remark appeared to go unnoticed by everyone else. 
“Pauline, darling,” Her husband, Harold, chimed in. “It’s a beautiful evening.  Should I instruct the staff to serve dessert on the patio?” 
Pauline harumphed with a wave of her hand. “On any other night, I’d say yes, but not tonight!”
“Why not tonight?” Uncle Bill asked. “It’s the perfect weather for it.”
“It would be,” Pauline replied. “If only we didn’t have to be subjected to the debauchery about to begin outside.”
Casey wrinkled her nose and leaned to whisper in Tobias’s ear. “I didn’t know debauchery was on the agenda?”
“I wasn’t aware either,” he whispered back. “I assumed that was reserved for us when we get back to the townhome later on.”
Casey giggled as she turned back to the conversation, which had continued while they momentarily escaped into their own little world.
“It’s pathetic!” someone else stated. “We can't even enjoy a night outside… we shouldn’t be subjected to this.”
“I don’t disagree,” Pauline grumbled. “Had I realized the date sooner, I would have rescheduled our dinner. But if you get in your cars and head south, you’ll be spared the bulk of the depravity.”
“Depravity?” Casey giggled curiously. “What on earth is going on outside?”
“The neighborhood pride festival,” a cousin answered with disdain. 
“There was a time this neighborhood escaped such things,” another chimed in. “But those days are long gone.” 
Casey’s jaw went slack and she was sure blood was going to start dripping out of her mouth from biting her tongue all night, and she was nearing her breaking point.
“And how does the festival hurt you, Lars?” Aunt Mandy asked angrily.  
“It doesn’t hurt me, per se. But it hurts society. Do you know nearly twenty percent of Gen Z identifies as queer? Twenty percent! That’s up staggeringly from previous generations, and this is why! They’re bombarded with the gay agenda from the moment they’re born!” 
Casey sat upright in her chair, slamming her wine glass on the table much louder than she had intended. 
“Agenda?” She spat.  “Outside wishing to be respected and have the same rights afforded to other Americans, can you please tell me what is on this… agenda? Because I must have missed the memo.” 
“The agenda is clear,” Lars replied.  “It’s to turn people into… them.  That’s why there are so many of them now.” 
“Oh, so you’re delusional enough to believe that there were fewer queer people in previous generations. Or do you think that, maybe, people were just forced to live in closets?”
Lars emptied his glass and motioned to a server for another. “Better in their closets than out on my streets!”
“Your streets?” Casey scoffed.
“Lars,” an older relative jumped in. “What does it matter if they’re gay? It’s not as if it’s going to turn you gay.”
Casey briefly thought there may have been an iota of common sense in the room, but that ended quickly.
“But I understand where you’re coming from, and it’s overdone. Gay pride month? Come on… when do we get straight pride month.” 
When a rumble of laughter filled the room, Casey unfurled.
“Do you have any idea how insulting that is?” she barked.  “Straight pride month? You should be happy that you don’t need a straight pride month?  When was the last time you had to forgo holding your partner’s hand in public because it could endanger your life?  Has a landlord ever denied you an apartment because they found out you were moving in with your straight partner?  Or has anyone gone to court to ask for the right not to sell you a freaking cake? Or to say it’s against their values to provide you with medical care? Medical care! When has being straight ever caused a problem like this for you? Tell me. I’ll wait.” 
Her arms were crossed defiantly in front of her chest, and her face began turning their favorite color… red. As silence hung, several looked to Tobias to intervene.
“Don’t look at me,” he shrugged. “Casey asked a question, and I believe the polite thing to do would be to answer. Anyone?”
“Uhm, I see,” Pauline stuttered. “I didn’t… we didn’t realize this was a … a sensitive subject for you.”
“It’s not sensitive. But I do want an answer. If you can tell me why a straight pride month is needed, I promise, I’ll help plan it.”
“Casey,” a relative she hadn’t previously spoken to chimed in. “I assure you, they aren’t bad people. It’s just their… exposure to people different than themselves is limited… they don’t even know any queer people.”
“Oh,” Casey scoffed.  “I assure you, they do. They probably don’t feel comfortable enough to let them know it… but they do.”
“She’s right,” Tobias backed up. “But for argument's sake, let's just say they didn’t.  Then maybe you should get out there and meet some. Being exposed to different people than yourselves. What a concept? That's how you learn and grow, and that’s not a bad thing.  Is it?” 
“Casey,” Pauline interrupted, growing uncomfortable with the scene that had emerged.  “I would like to apologize. We didn’t know… I assume you have… gay…  people in your life.”
“Yeah,” Casey sighed.  “I do, and, as of tonight, so do you.”
“I… I don’t understand,” the elderly woman queried.
“I’m bisexual. And until this moment, you really seemed to like me. Does this change your mind? Because I assure you, I was just as bisexual when I arrived tonight as I am now. Nothing about me has changed.”
“Wait…” Lars interrupted. “You can't be bisexual. You’re dating Tobias.”
Casey rolled her eyes. “Do you even know what bisexual means? It means I’m attracted to more than one gender… which includes men. Being that Tobias is a man, he fits the bill.”
“I’m grateful for that…” Tobias injected.
“Well, that’s all right, dear…” Harold stated. “You seem to be a lovely young woman, and this whole…thing… won’t be an issue. You’re with our great-nephew… and… people will assume you’re a normal couple. We don’t need to announce to the world that you are….” His words trailed, and Aunt Mandy stepped in. 
“Bisexual,” she offered with a smile. 
“Normal?” Casey spat.  “If you want normal, you can find that setting on your washing machine. Of course, you’re probably about as acquainted with washing machines as you are with people like me. And sorry, I’m not going back into a closet for anyone.”
“Well,” the old man said, wringing his hands. “It’s just that if… say… you and Tobias should say… get married one day….you’d be a Carrick, and…”
“Oh, that’s the plan…” Tobias jumped in. “I told you, I have no intention of letting her go.”
“Well … we’ve never had this in the family!”
“You probably have,” Casey insisted. “But I have no problem leading the way if you haven't. Hell, it may even help your image! Bring you into this century!” 
“But there is no need to announce it,” Pauline pleaded.
“If you Google my name, you’ll see who I am. I’ve been an activist since college. It’s out there…and I’m proud of it.”
“Well, we are a powerful family,” Harold stated. “We could have that all wiped clean well in advance of any potential announcements….”
Casey was about to strike that down, but Tobias beat her to the punch. 
“Over my dead body,” he blurted, taking Casey’s hand.  “Casey knows who she is, and I’m never going to ask her to be any less.  Because she’s just perfect in my book.” 
Casey met his eyes with a grateful smile, then turned back to the family. 
“I’m comfortable with and proud of who I am. But I’m not comfortable being here any longer.” 
“That’s my queue,” Tobias hummed, finishing off his drink before standing up from the table. 
“Tobias,” Lars sputtered. “You’re all right with this? You finally settle down and she's... bisexual. Do you want to be cheated on?"
“Whoa…you think I’ll be unfaithful because I’m bisexual? Holy fucked up stereotypes, Batman! Like straight people have cornered the market on fidelity? I’m sure none of the straight folk in this room have ever dealt with that, right?” A low rumble filled the room before she continued. “Trust me, Tobias has nothing to worry about. He’s the person in my life, and I adore him.  Hard stop. You have so much to learn, but I’m done teaching today.”
Casey and Tobias were almost at the door when she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to find Uncle Bill. 
“Casey, I’d like to apologize on behalf of my family. You were a guest tonight and weren’t treated very hospitably. Unfortunately, the small-mindedness of some here knows no bounds. I hope you’ll come to visit Mandy and me at our home.  We’d like to introduce you to our daughters and grandchildren, even our sons-in-law,” he chuckled.  “Seriously, we want to get to know the woman who finally took our nephew out of circulation.”
Bill grinned at Tobias. “I can see why she did. She’s something else, isn’t she?”  
“Uncle Bill,” Tobias beamed, “You have no idea.”
He clapped Tobias on the back and pulled him into a hug. “I wish your father were here… he would have been so proud… of both of you.”
“Well," Tobias replied. "He was a bit of a rabble-rouser, too, wasn’t he?”
“Yes!” Bill grinned. “He had no tolerance for this bullshit.”
“Good trouble. That’s what he and Ma used to say.”
“Exactly! Now, come you two. Let me walk you out.”
Alone in the back seat of the car, Casey asked the driver to raise the privacy partition, then turned to Tobias, slightly abashed. 
“I’m really sorry that I….”
“Stop,” he interrupted.  “You don’t owe me an apology.  I think I owe you one.”
“You?” 
“Yeah, I avoid the majority of the people in that room tonight like the plague. I don’t know what I was thinking exposing you to them.  It’s just… not having my dad here anymore… I thought the next best thing would be introducing you to them. In retrospect, I should have limited that to Uncle Bill and Aunt Mandy.” 
“Tobias, do you think I don’t have people like that in my family? You think I don’t run into people like them every day… you don’t have to apologize for their behavior. But…” she stalled.  “I suppose we should talk.”
“About what?” he asked nervously.
“I never actually told you I was bisexual.”
“Well,” Tobias laughed, “When Jessica was in town, and you introduced her to me as your ex-girlfriend, I kind of got the hint. .”
“I don’t think it’s something people should have to share.  I mean, straight people don’t have to declare it at the start of a relationship, do they? So, I’ve always felt I shouldn’t either.  But I really want a life with you, and I need to know if this is a problem for you.” 
“A problem? No, it's not a problem.  I love you for you, and I meant what I said back there.  You are perfect just the way you are.  I wouldn't change a thing about you... except maybe the way you're always stealing the covers at night."
Casey reached over and caressed his cheek.  “This is just one of the reasons I love you.  But if you want to discuss it, you can ask me anything. I’m an open book to you.” 
“That goes in reverse. You can ask me anything you want, any time. No secrets between us.”
“Well,” she smirked, snuggling closer to him. “I mean, I love you and all, but we have established you were quite the ho before you met me. I just assumed it was because you were straight.”
“Oh, really!” he laughed heartily. “We will have no slut shaming in this car, young lady… and no disparaging any sexual orientation… including mine.”
“You know I’m joking,” she laughed. “About everything except that I love you.”
“Good, 'cause that’s the only part that matters. But… you know… the way you put my family in place,” he smiled salaciously.  “I’m not going to lie; I’m so fucking turned on right now.” 
“Are you,” Casey laughed, “then a good thing your mother’s away, and we have the townhome to ourselves.”
Just then, the car pulled in front of the home, and Tobias cursed under his breath.  
“What’s wrong?” Casey asked. 
“Look,” he pointed to the front steps Jordan was sitting, all man spread with a bottle of beer in his hand. “So much for alone.”
“He’s not staying here,” Casey giggled. “Let's go chat; he won't be here all night. A little patience, Dr. Carrick.”
“Jordan! What’s up?” Tobias asked as they approached.  “What are you doing outside?” 
“Waiting on you,” he said, handing each of them a cold bottle of beer.  “But I went inside to get these first.” 
“Sitting on the front steps drinking beer?” Casey gasped.  “Isn’t this going to lower the Carrick’s standing in polite society?”
“Like these Carricks ever gave a fuck about that,” Tobias laughed, but Jordan stayed silent. 
“Casey, you were really something back there,” he mumbled, staring down at his feet.  “You’re a strong woman. I’m impressed.” 
“Well, thank you. But all I did was speak my truth.  Sometimes it’s not easy, but I’ve found it’s easier than living a lie.”
“Is it?” he asked.
“I think so.  Now, I’m not sure if I’ll be invited to the next Carrick family gathering,” she laughed, “But….”
“Pfft,” Tobias spat. “If we are, we’re not gracing them with our presence.” 
“Except for Uncle Bill,” Jordan smiled. 
“Uncle Bill seems awesome,” Casey agreed.  “I think he and Aunt Mandy are the only two Carricks not mortified over having someone like me associated with the family. Hell, it’s 2021.  It’s about time the Carricks queered up a little. I’m happy to the first."
“Except… you’re not,” Jordan muttered.
Casey tilted her head in Jordan’s direction. “I’m not?” 
“Nope.  You’re just the first with the nerve to be honest... and open.  I’ve never told anyone in the family,” he looked to Tobias.  “Not even you… but I’m bisexual.” 
Casey sat down on the step next to Jordan, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder.  
“Jordan… I had no idea.”
“You wouldn’t,” he shrugged.  “I’ve kept it a well-guarded secret.” 
“Why?” Tobias asked. “I mean, I get from the others, but why from me?” 
Jordan shrugged. “I’m bisexual; it’s easy to hide in plain sight if I want to.  And you know our family. I wasn’t ever planning on letting them know, so… why not keep it to myself.” 
“And that’s your prerogative,” Casey said, widening her eyes in Tobias’s direction to stave off the line of questioning she knew was about to begin. “I was much happier once I was out.  But that’s only my experience, and it should never dictate yours.  When and if you decide to be out... that’s up to you and only you.” 
Jordan placed his hand on Casey’s knee and smiled. “And until tonight, my answer to that would have been that it’s never going to happen.  But now… I’m not so sure.” 
“Well, just know if you decide to do so, you know you have my support….” Tobias assured. “At least, I hope you know that.” 
“I do,” Jordan smiled.  “Outside of a couple of friends, you two are the first people I’ve ever told, and… you know what… it feels good. I have to process this a little more, but I think I’d like to tell Ma.  Do you think she’ll be pissed?”
“You’re her son, and Mom is going to love you no matter what,” Tobias insisted. “Besides, you know Mom’s always been cool about this stuff. She’s not… the Carricks." 
“That’s a relief,” Casey sighed.  “I’m sure news of tonight's shenanigans will get back to her, and I was worried she might dislike me now.  See, this is what sucks.  Sometimes people like me until they find out… then I’m shunned.  I try not to let it bother me, but…”
“But, you’re human,” Jordan smiled. 
“Would you like to go inside and talk?” Casey asked.  “I know it’s late, but…”
“No,” Jordan smiled as he rose to his feet.  “I’m going to walk back to my place.  I have a lot to think about, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you for letting me.”
Casey stood to give Jordayna hug.  “Hey, you’re not excluding me from this!” Tobias smiled as he joined in. 
“You sure you don’t want to come in?” Casey asked again.
“Nah.  Even if I did, I know my brother,” he winked. “After what you did tonight… standing up to those people... he has to so fucking turned on!"
"I told you!" Tobias yelled as Casey covered her face.
"You sure do know him," she laughed.
"Now, get out of here. Go home, get some sleep.”
“And you get inside…," Jordan grinned at his brother. "And do… whatever you’re going to do.” 
Tobias and Casey returned to the steps. He wrapped his arm around her, and she nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck. They sat silent for several minutes as they watched Jordan walk away.
“Well, that was quite a night,” Tobias sighed.
“It didn't go exactly as you expected, did it?” 
“Nah, but in this family…I’ve seen much, much worse.”  He lifted her chin from his shoulder, turning to look her in the eye. “I love you, Casey MacTavish. I keep saying I can’t possibly love you anymore, but you keep proving me wrong.” 
“Mmm.  Let’s see if I can keep that up for the rest of our lives,” she smiled.  “Now.  You mentioned something about being all turned on? That wasn't all talk, was it?"
A wicked grin spread slowly across his moonlit face. “I’ll race you to the bedroom."
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get-shiggy-with-it · 4 years ago
Text
Book Drop Boy (Twice x Reader)
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✧ pairing: library student worker!Twice x afab!student!Reader
✧ word count: 9.9k
✧ ao3 mirror
✧ warnings: college au/no quirks, maladaptive daydreaming (twice), twice is chaotic af, commits library related crimes, use of the term sweetheart a few times, smut, vaginal fingering/sex, doggy style, afab terms, no pronouns for reader, gratuitous swearing this is potentially the softest thing I've ever written, like she's pretty tame idk what Twice does to me
✧ summary: In which Twice learns that sometimes dreams do come true, except those dreams are just the maladaptive fantasies of a broke library receptionist and, while sexy, also involve more fraud than he expected.
✧ a/n: Hey y'all, this is set in the same universe as my shiggy college piece, but you don't need to have read that. There are some fun little easter eggs though if you have tho. This is like the most tame thing I've ever written and it's way longer than it was meant to be but oh well. Anyway, Twice deserves some love. Enjoy <3
Logically, Jin was aware you probably had no idea who the fuck he was.
But that really didn’t have any effect on the wildly intricate fantasy life he had created for the two of you during his long shifts behind the library reception desk. That, in fact, was the only reason he hadn’t up and quit just to save himself the embarrassment of another loud outburst in the middle of the most silent place on campus.
What was truly more shocking was the fact that none of those said outburst had gotten his ass kicked straight out the door.
But he held out.
If only for you.
Late nights or lazy afternoons you were always in the campus library—studying he assumed or…
'Studying,' because a lot of the time he noticed you’d show up with a drink from the cafe a few blocks down, set out a line of colored pens and not touch a single one of them for hours, content to stare blankly at the chipped desktop. And even that Jin was more than happy to watch.
He did a lot of watching.
Mostly because he wasn’t permitted to leave the desk unattended unless there were piling up returned books which needed to be replaced quickly.
So instead, he pretended to be busy scrolling through something on his old as hell monitor—which was conveniently set up directly across from the comfy chair/desk combo you always managed to grab—and he indulged in day dreams where you’d bring him a coffee from the cafe when you came in and set it on his desk, maybe kiss him on the cheek, maybe loiter by his workstation and play with his hair and—
Yeah.
It was a lot.
But you were always in that chair, always working or pretending to work and you never seemed to notice the uninterrupted hours of staring Jin did, so what was the harm?
If you never knew, you’d never get creeped out—cause it was creepy, he knew that, oh fuckin' boy did he know it was real goddamn weird.
He just couldn’t seem to give it up. Especially when the conditions presented perfectly for some good uninterrupted, totally not stalker-y at all, fantasizing.
Sometimes he thought you might have some mundane superpower that let you always snatch that perfect seat right across from his computer, and made it so the library was just cool enough that he’d get to watch you shrug on that cute extra sweatshirt you always brought. So he could catch a glimpse of some skin—in a totally normal and not invasive way—when your arms went over your head. So he could imagine it was his ratty old sweaters you were wearing just so you could smell him on you and god he really wanted to get close enough to smell you—was that too weird? No. Yes? No.
Not at all.
But the best part, the part that really convinced him on those awful days when he really just could not be bothered to drag himself out of bed and walk the couple blocks to campus just to sit in awful silence alone, in his head alone with the fucking thoughts that made him want to rip his hair out—
What made it worth it was those times every few weeks when your classes would get new assigned readings. Because then you’d have to check out new textbooks, since you were one of those geniuses that had figured out the library kept a ton of those books in stock. Of course you were, cause you were fucking perfect.
And when you had to check out new books, you had to come to reception.
Jin got to watch as your lovely figure moved through the stacks like you were ballroom dancing along the halls of faded, sea-green shelves, almost floating over the linoleum trying to find just the right volume in the right addition before anyone else beat you to it.
It was one of the most gorgeous things he’d ever seen.
Spinner would call him a fucking simp if he ever dared to uttered any of that out loud, but it didn’t matter.
If it was you, he’d simp for fucking life.
And then, you’d walk that fucking glorious ass over to his desk and plop the books down, smiling—cause you were polite like that, so fucking perfect he couldn’t hardly believe it sometimes—and asking how his day was while he checked you out in every sense of the phrase.
In a completely platonic and not freaky way.
So Jin kept coming to work, to that god awful job he really hated and which hated him just as vehemently. He clocked in every day and waited patiently like a fucking puppy counting the hours till its workaholic owner arrived home, ears perking up when you walked through the door and flashed your ID to the attendant.
If only for that.
He’d put up with his boss’ complaints and the weird stares he got when the thoughts just wouldn’t stay in his head anymore and he had to start talking to himself to fill the silence.
If only for that.
Those few hours when he could lose himself in the fake inner life where you were waiting for him when his shift let out, waiting to gather him, tired and understimulated, into your arms. Where you’d sneak into the back room with him just to chat and lace your fingers with his and maybe sit that fucking wonderful ass up on the tables so he could stand in between your thighs and you’d pull him down to—
Yeah.
That was enough.
***
It wasn’t until Tuesday when he had to come in again that week, and he already knew it was gonna suck balls.
Friday he’d gotten another round of complaints from some stuck up fucking business students—it was always the fucking business majors with those silver spoons so far up their asses—snitching to his boss that he’s been ‘disruptive’ and ‘disturbing’ during his last shift.
“Not my fucking fault,” he muttered under his breath, kicking a rock along the side walk he’d picked up two blocks before. “Yes it is. No it’s not!”
Jin groaned and tugged at his hair, wishing he’d brought a Tylenol or something to curb the headache that was already sticking it’s ugly ass claws into his temples. He really, really heavily contemplated just ditching, calling in sick or some shit. Technically he was a student worker, so they had to work with his DRS accommodation and he was actually having a bad fucking time.
But one of his friends had already texted to ask if he’d try and reserve them that sweet ass study room on the third floor and Jin wasn’t really looking to disappoint anyone else this week. Besides, it was fun to abuse his minuscule power. Fun to go corrupt for once. Fight the system and all that.
He liked to think you’d be proud of him for it, based on the kinds of texts you checked out at least.
So, he dragged his sad ass back to the looming library looking far too much like a prison than was necessary and clocked in. Actually, the first thing he did was check the chair—your chair and nobody else’s chair, he might actually make a fucking scene if somebody ever did steal it—and his face visibly fell when you were not occupying it.
It was a bit early, Jin supposed as he paused briefly when he noticed the can of Monster and rando vending machine chips sitting next to it by the reception computer. The sticky note slapped to the top read 'For your troubles' in familiar handwriting and that pulled a bit of a smile from him as he quickly rearranged the scheduling of study room sign ups so the fancy third floor room would be free for the rest of the night.
Then Jin sat, staring at the study room schedules for a moment, feeling his eyes softly glaze over until a hand slapped down on the raised lip of the reception desk.
“Hey bro,” Spinner greeted him with a wild smile and a flurry of bright pink hair.
Jin had to blink a few extra times to get his vision to clear. When it did he saw, horrifyingly, that he’d been staring at the fucking blank screen for two hours without moving.
Why was it that his head was either deadly quiet, devoid of even a single errant thought or so loud as fucking shit at all times that he couldn’t physically keep the thoughts in?
“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Jin asked, running a hand through his unruly hair.
“Aren’t you supposed to like shush me or something?”
Spinner chuckled a bit at his own god awful joke and Jin couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed, too glad for the company.
“I mean,” he shrugged, popping the can of Monster and ignoring the dirty looks he got for the sound. “I would if I was, uh, good at my job.”
“Which I’ve heard you definitely are not,” Spinner wrapped his fingers over the lip of the desk and leaned back on his heels, swaying side to side idly.
“You’re just figuring that out now?”
Jin didn’t bother watching while Spinner nearly tripped over himself fidgeting as he spun to stand at the little gate that corralled Jin inside like livestock. He was too busy glancing over to check you hadn’t slipped in while his brain had taken a trip to the astral plane without him.
“No, I been knew, but my sources tell me you’ve gone off the rails my friend,” long legs stepped over the wooden partition until the only friend he had who was quite possibly more annoying than Jin himself was sat on the counter next to his computer. “Finally been radicalized have you?”
Jin huffed and sipped his Monster, “Guess it fuckin’ took me long enough.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Spinner was messing about with the stacks of multicolored sticky notes littered across the desk before glancing up to wink at Jin. “So what can I get you to do for me in exchange for free food?”
“Now I really am gonna fucking shush you,” Jin smashed his finger against Spinners grin only to get a hand covered in spit for his trouble.
“Right, right,” Spinner held his hands up in defeat, “can’t have you cheating on your sweetheart.”
“Not my—yes I’m in a committed fictional relationship thank you very much—ugh!”
Jin could feel the heads shooting up from laptop screens and textbooks to stick daggers in his back with their angry stares. Spinner at least had the good sense to look a little fucking guilty for egging him on.
“Sorry bro, I had to shoot my shot ya know?” a hand disappeared into the mop of bubblegum locks in apology.
“It’s fine…” Jin trailed off, mumbling and blushing more than a little profusely as he turned to check the book drop box. “Not like I’m ever gonna fuckin’ shoot mine anyway.”
“Oh we are not gonna have that kinda of shit discussion,” Spinner’s hand shot out and grabbed him firmly by the shoulders, spinning Jin in his chair. “On god bro, we’re gonna get you a date one of these days.”
Jin didn’t dignify that kind of lie with a response.
Spinner once again, had the good sense to not push the envelope any farther.
“And in the meantime, you can come to the League meeting tonight!”
“Your gaming club thing?”
“Yeah, it’s Smash night and we need to fill a space sooooo…”
Jin knew Spinner and his roommate—the same friend who he’d gone study room rogue for—had started a gaming club their freshman year. Spinner had been trying to strong arm him into attending ever since. To, as he put it, ‘socialize,’ and ‘make new friends.’ All things which Jin was patently horrible at and avoided like the plague.
Needless to say, he’d refused every time.
It wasn’t just the whole being alone with like two people he kinda knew in a room full of strangers. Games themselves were just a lot for him. The flashing colors and the loud noises made his head—which was already so fucking full all the time and he really needed to keep any extra scrap of space for extra random facts he picked up about you and your future married life together—get a bit misaligned.
They just weren’t his jam most of the time.
“I’m good, thanks for the offer though,” Jin twisted out of Spinner’s grasp and craned his head to check your seat again.
Still empty.
He sighed.
Spinner continued to ramble and Jin continued to only half listen. It wasn’t as pleasant to day dream when you weren’t there for the added visual aesthetic. And he was trying to not be a dick and ignore the one friend he had managed to keep around over the years. But it was hard when his mind had a mind of its own.
Wow.
Meta.
“Jin?”
The voice—deep and dark in such a dramatically ominous way it might have been funny if it didn’t belong to his permanently disgruntled supervisor—interrupted his already derailing train of thought.
“Oh, uh, hello sir,” Jin stuttered, turning to find Kurogiri leaning against the reception desk with one arm, turning only slightly to accommodate Spinner’s form bolting over the gate and out the library doors.
He did manage to throw a fading, “See ya later, bro” over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner.
Yeah thanks for the warning, bro.
“Aren’t you supposed to be reshelving the books from the drop box?” Kurogiri sighed, perpetually disappointed in a way that had Jin’s face burning and shame bubbling up in his throat.
He hated this job. He was objectively terrible at it, and so usually he wouldn’t give that much of a shit at not doing it well. Kurogiri just had some type of vibe—like daddy but not in the sexy way Spinner always joked about—that made it really, really upsetting to let him down.
Father figure? Yeah that's what it was called.
“Right, yeah um, sorry,” Jin nodded quickly and leapt from his chair, only mildly bruising his knee on the desk as he reached to empty the book drop.
Another incorporeal sigh was the only acknowledgement he received as he loaded the cart with wheels louder than Jin on a particularly bad day and rolled the pile of books back to the stacks. He paused once more, just before the sea green shelving units swallowed him up, to sneak another futile peak at your chair. But it still sat empty—empty and lonely with no you and cold without your body pressed against the worn upholstery.
Jin felt a chill too, a slow tingling thing that worked its way up from the base of his spine. It drove him deeper into the walls of books, away from the empty spaces.
It was harder to look.
Harder to be reminded of what he did not have.
Of what he’d never have cause he was too much of a goddamn pussy to ever just fucking talk to you—
But then what if he did? What if he did talk to you? What would happen then?
Those were the types of questions he tried to avoid when crafting your intricate, fictional lives together. Precisely because they were the easiest to answer.
You’d realize within the first five minutes or so of conversation—if Jin could even make it that far without embarrassing himself—that he was just a generic brand weirdo that all your pretty, normal, aesthetically pleasing friends would warn you to stay away from and because you were also pretty and normal and not a fucking idiot, you’d have the common sense to listen.
He’d lose you in the blink of an eye.
Your chair would sit cold and empty forever and the imaginary garden he’d been planting for you to come imaginarily home too would wilt and die like all the other happy thoughts in his head.
It was quite the conundrum and one Jin was not keen to solve soon.
Not that things ever really went his way. Cause problems could only be avoided for so long before all that time spent ignoring them came back to bite him full on the ass.
Which, apparently, came this time in the form of what had to be quiet, muffled sobbing drifting in between the shelves from the back hallway.
It was dark here in this section of the building—free of most windows so as not to cause any sunning damage to the books—and Jin had seen more than enough horror movies to know that it was a horrendous idea to follow the ominous crying sounds coming from the bowls of this old as fuck building. But even as he made up his mind to ignore it, the hand currently working one of the returns back into its proper place dropped the book to his cart as his feet slowly turned to face the corridor.
He looked around skeptically for a second, not entirely certain his poor brain hadn’t simply malfunctioned again, as it was wont to do, and fabricated the sound entirely. But as he peaked out from between the stacks, and down the dimly lit hall, he heard it again.
Echoey and soft in the wide, empty space it—was definitely coming from the hall and it was definitely a person.
Jin caught himself moving without ever meaning too, the books laying forgotten as he crept towards the source of the noise and paused just before leaving the stacks entirely. This hall was full of small alcoves built into the centuries old walls and led to the lesser used storage portions of the library that only the janitorial staff and the university librarians ever entered. He really didn’t want to stumble across someone from the special collections department bawling over a damaged or lost manuscript.
But his wayward feet pushed him forward, too sympathetic for his own good. He found himself shuffling down the abandoned hall, peering into each small dip in the walls to find the source of his distraction.
And when he did, Jin was—for once in his life—thankful for his lack of self-preservation instincts.
And cursed his blatant lack in interpersonal skills.
Because it was you.
You curled with your knees to your chest and your head in your hands, shoulders shaking, as you cried into your palms.
The universe had handed him maybe the only golden opportunity he would ever get on right on a platter.
But Jin didn’t have a fucking clue what do with it.
And there certainly wasn’t much time to formulate a game plan as his nervous breathing and sudden intake of breath upon discovering his imaginary lover sniffling right in front of him, had certainly alerted you to his presence.
Your head shot up in an instant, knocking dully against the stone wall with a thud.
“Shit,” you cursed and hands flying up to cover the area as Jin jumped on the spot at your outburst.
“Are you okay?” he asked lamely as you glanced over at him, eyes red and wet and so fucking sad oh fucking god, widening as you realized you’d been caught.
“Huh? Ye—oh uh, yes,” your words came out jumbled, legs unfolding quickly to push yourself off the bench and hands wiping furiously at your eyes. “I’m fine, sorry.”
“You sure about that?”
Jin cringed visibly and frowned at the way you deflated under his stare. God the first fucking time he actually talks to you and he already made an ass of himself.
Spinner’s roommate was such a liar, it really fucking sucked to be right sometimes.
“I mean,” you crumpled back down onto the ledge and Jin took a careful step closer, “no, but yes. Like I’m definitely having a breakdown in the back of the fucking library but I don’t wanna, uh, bother you with that. So, yeah I’m good.”
“You can bother me,” he replied way too fucking quickly.
But he couldn’t really be embarrassed about it. Your voice was just so captivating, and you weren’t talking to him in that raised pitch anymore like you usually did—the way everyone does when they’re trying to be surface level and polite. No this was your voice how you sounded when you were relaxing with your friends or making breakfast in the morning or talking to yourself in the shower (he liked to think you did that, or sang maybe as you worked the soap into your skin, one of the two but he always imagined you filled silences with how fucking pretty you were).
“No, really. That would be weird, right?”
Jin grimaced as you fixed him with a watery yet suspicious stare.
Yeah it was weird.
Everything he did concerning you was weird, objectively. He was definitely being over-familiar and too eager, especially considering you didn’t fucking know him.
But he knew you.
Jin felt like he’d known you for all months he’d spent pretending to be by your side.
And you were crying and he had to do something.
“I mean, yeah I guess,” he mumbled, taking a risk and plopped down on the opposite end of the alcove and resting his head on the wall. “But not any weirder than having a breakdown in the employees only section of the library building on a Tuesday.”
You kept staring blankly for a few moments before the most miraculous thing happened.
Jin had to physically stop his jaw from hitting the floor when the quiet giggle bubbled up from your chest and spilled out into the hall, warm enough to melt even the freezing linoleum floor.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” your voice cracked a bit as a few more tears slid like pearls down your cheeks.
“My name’s Jin,” he said, shocked stupid both by your laugh and the apparent success of his comforting methods.
“Oh, hi, well I guess I don’t have to call you book drop boy anymore,” you rubbed at your face again and tucked your legs back into your chest, though it looked a bit more relaxed this time.
Not so trying-desperately-to-fade-out-of-existence.
“You called me that?” Jin asked, brain still functioning at half capacity, only shocked at the fact that he existed as a concept in your head enough to have a name and realizing a bit too late how accusatory he must have sounded. “Shit, I mean it’s totally fine I just didn’t think you, uh, well I mean, like, knew about me I guess?”
You finally smiled and his brain power cut out another fourth at being personally graced by the expression this close up.
“Yeah, you always check me out—fuck sorry not that you check me out, just you scan my books and I just called you ‘book drop boy’ in my head cause I never got a chance to ask for your name but I have it now so that’s cool….”
Your head dropped back down to your knees as you groaned and Jin suddenly felt a lot less nervous than he had a few seconds ago.
You were weird too.
For so long you’d existed on this pedestal thousands of feet in the air, and now you were stepping down from the heavens and onto earth. Not in a bad way! Just, Jin had never really stopped to think that you might be a person too.
Well.
No, he knew you were a person, just he never thought you might get flustered and ramble and be nervous in front of him.
Cause he was a fucking train wreck—the bar was so goddamn low.
It was almost as comforting as your smile.
“Oh, yeah sorry I’m not the best at customer service if you couldn’t tell,” he sighed and ran a hand through his wild hair.
You looked back up with a wry grin, “I don’t know, I’d say you’re going above and beyond right now.”
And you were funny.
He was gonna fucking combust.
“Ha, yeah, I try,” he trailed off for a moment before glancing back at your curled in your corner, fuck he could just imagine sitting behind you, your head on his chest while you—”So uh, did you wanna talk about it or…?”
“Uh, yeah,” you picked idly at the grouting of the stone and mumbled, “I guess it’s not so weird if we’re on a first-name basis.
And that was how Jin discovered that you’d been hiding in the back of the library bawling your eyes out for hours—since even before his shift started. Apparently you’d gotten here extra early, even skipped a class, to snag some super specific required text for your final thesis and right before you got to the shelf some jackass swooped in, effectively hit and running with the only copy of that book on campus.
The book in questions was one of the newer additions that had special added footnotes you needed for your paper and was a whopping 500 fucking dollars to rent from every other place online. You couldn’t afford it, and honestly what fucking student could? But you needed it to complete the paper or you’d fail and Jin very much understood the need for a good breakdown after a catastrophe like that.
“Damn, that’s uh, fucking awful,” he frowned on your behalf as your head hit the wall a second time in frustration.
“Yeah so, I’m like royally fucked either way. Now I just gotta decide which hole I’m taking it in I guess,” you groaned.
Jin’s eyebrows raised at your choice of words but they were apt, he supposed. People really do get comfortable with each other pretty quick when bonding over shared institutional rage.
“Well,” he began, wringing his hands nervously at what he was about to suggest. “You might be in luck cause I’ve recently decided to abuse my library powers for good and I maybe, possibly, could try and see if there’s some strings I can pull?”
You perked up a bit, looking at him incredulously.
Jin felt comfortably full under your stare.
“Seriously?”
The word was soft and it bounced off the walls just as much as it did the inside of his skull.
Swapping study rooms to help a friend out was one thing. But falsifying checkout dates for someone he barely knew—had essentially married in his maladaptive fantasies—could get him fired.
He hated this job but he needed it.
Were you worth the risk?
Of course, he found himself thinking without hesitation.
You were everything.
“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, any lingering uncertainty washing away at the way you looked at him through your lashes. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.”
“Are you always this nice?”
Jin didn’t answer right away. He was too caught up in how you’d leaned forward on your hands across the bench, peering like he was some exotic animal or a stray cat in the parking lot—all soft wonderment with fingers curling like they ached to grab hold and rescue him from this parchment scented monotony.
“Not always…”
“Should I feel special then?”
If his face wasn’t red before, it was now. Red and blistering under the summer campfire heat that radiated off you—woodsy and warm and so painfully familiar like an old friend’s hand.
“...I guess you—fucking definitely, ” he quite nearly shouted the last bit, startled by his own volume and already mortified at the outburst but then you chuckled again from beside him.
He turned to see you standing and offering a hand which he gladly too if only to feel the weight of your palm against his.
“Well, you’ll have to let me pay you back then.”
“Oh, no you don’t actually—”
You held a hand up and the words turned to ash on his tongue in an instant, mouth glued shut by your gesture.
“Coffee on me or something, there’s a nice cafe a few blocks from here,” you dropped your hand and your eyes were clear now, no sign of the previous afternoon sobbing alone in the hallway. Jin felt a surge in his chest knowing he was the one who did that. “You gotta pass off the contraband anyway, and I don’t think it would be that great of an idea to do it here.”
God you were fucking perfect.
“Can’t argue with that.”
***
Jin was sweating profusely as he snuck past the library attendant, totally inconspicuous and not not all looking like he was doing a single thing wrong in the slightest.
Yeah they definitely didn’t suspect a thing.
The process of fraud was actually a lot less complicated of an undertaking that Jin had expected. All he had to do was search up the book, find the student that had stolen the success of his sweetheart’s educational career and flag his account. They’d get an automated message about the flag, instructing them to return any borrowed items or they’d be forced to pay fines while the account was examined.
Technically he needed administrator credentials to report student accounts, but luckily Kurogiri had his login info written on a sticky note hidden on the back of the monitor. All in all it was a pretty easy job.
The whole thing had taken only a matter of days, in which time you had returned to the library only twice—the first to get confirmation on the success of Jin’s newest descent into low level crime which had set his heart thundering in his chest as you bent conspiratorially over his desk, your face just inches from his.
The second time, Jin had horrifically been absent from his desk, however he was met with possibly the most wonderful sight of his life upon returning from the labyrinth of shelves.
On one of the hundreds of post-it note pads that littered the library reception area, there were scribbles that he was sure hadn’t been there before. He almost tossed it, but upon closer inspection, you’d written your number there and signed just below it. In the cutest fucking handwriting he’d ever seen—cute not for any stylistic reason, but it simply felt that way just by virtue of it being yours—was written the digits and “-for book drop boy”
The noise he made reading that turned more than a dozen heads and almost got him fired there on the spot before any of his indiscretions were even discovered, but he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.
So, nerve wrackingly, Jin texted you as he nearly sprinted home from his shift after that piece of shit asshole who made you cry had trudged angrily in and dropped off his ‘stolen’ book.
— HEY IT’S JIN!
— from the library
— shit sorry that wasn’t meant to be in caps
— n e way….
— I’ve intercepted the ~package~ so whenever you’re ready for the hand off, I’m good
Most perfect fucking human being to…
Oh my god thank you so much!!!—
Is tomorrow at like 5ish good for you?—
Also send me your order—
so we don’t have to do that awkward waiting in line for drinks bit—
Holy fuck you multi-texted too! Spinner would roll over in his fucking grave, he hated when Jin did that. But there was always so much to say and he could never think of it all at the same time. Plus, you wanted to save him from that god awful silence where you both stand in line next but he can’t talk cause he has keep repeating his order in his head over and over or he’ll blank when he gets to the register so it’s just this painful weird glancing back and forth—
Ugh, maybe all the shit about manifestation that girl who always loaned him exacto knives in his sculpting class always talked about was real.
Cause there was no way you weren’t just heaven-sent, handcrafted especially for him and all his general brand of weird.
The hours which usually flew by without Jin’s notice dragged all that night. He was so full of excess energy that made his hand shake and his thoughts race, not sure what to do with themselves now that they didn’t need to fantasize about you.
He decided to use all that extra motivation to vacuum the kitchen at 4:30 in the morning, much to his roommates' chagrin. She liked to get a nice solid eight hours every night and constantly reminded Jin of this, trying to sell him on that sleepy time tea before bed, though he really hated the smell of camomile.
Magne may lose out on some of her beauty sleep—not that she needed it and Jin would tell her that constantly, even if he did have some patently horrible judgment most of the time so he wasn’t really the best at offering reassurance—but the kitchen would be clean when she woke up so win-win really.
When she did wake up—wandering out of her room looking effortlessly put together in a way Jin could never hope to emulate—she sat at the table, sipping her tea and appraising him worriedly.
Jin was still in his jeans from the day before, hair spiking in every direction but down, and chewing his nails nervously despite losing most of them to the hour or two of early morning floor scrubbing.
“Babe,” she shook her head slowly, “take a breath.”
“Yeah okay,” he sighed and inhaled deeply, letting himself slide off the couch cushions and to the newly sparkling floors on the exhale.
“There, now wanna share what the hell is going on?”
He glanced up at her from the hardwood and groaned as she looked back down, brows furrowed over her glasses.
“Huhh, okay. So that absolute work of art from the library is meeting me for coffee later cause I have trade over this book I sort of stole, it’s a long story, and I don’t know if it’s a date—it sounds like a date, cause that’s where people go for dates and shit—but it might just be to pay me back for stealing the book. And if it is I’ve only ever been on that one date before which was with fucking Spinner like two years ago so—”
Magne held up a hand to quiet Jin before the speed of his words tied his tongue in physical knots. She looked contemplative, taking another soft sip of tea and nodding her head for a moment getting up to crouch on the floor by his head.
“You think too much for your own good, but never about the right things,” she mumbled, smoothing some of the hair from his face. “Does it really matter if this is a date or not?”
Jin blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” she chuckled in that way people do when kids ask them obvious questions—kindly, appreciative of the curiosity, “either way you cut it, you’ll be spending time with this person you like, yeah?”
“Mhm,” he hummed and sat up to face her as she stood.
“A date is just hanging out with a special name anyway,” Magne’s hands were firm but gentle as she hoisted Jin off the floor and onto his feet. “You’ll be fine.”
His shoulders slumped both in mild relief and dejection that he’d waisted so much precious time he could have been preparing possible topics of conversation or strategies to ask you out for real date on worrying over how this first time would go.
How did Magne always fucking know all this stuff?
Other people were such a mystery to him.
To be fair, though, Jin was a mystery to himself most of the time as well.
“Thanks, sorry for not saying anything about it earlier,” he sniffed as she smiled and pinched his cheek way fucking harder than necessary.
“It’s alright, I’m only a little insulted you waited until now to tell me about this massive crush you’ve developed.”
“Yeah it’s got its own gravitational pull at this point.”
Magne laughed at that and Jin felt the room lighten.
“I do expect details when you get back though,” she said pointedly, finishing her tea wandering back to her room to grab her bag. “Spinner asked me, very begrudgingly might I add, to fill in at another of his club tournament things tonight so I’ll be out late.”
“Really? I didn’t think you liked that stuff.”
Jin shuffled over to her doorway and peaked into the neat little space. Magne was rummaging through the meticulously organized closet and frowning as she answered.
“I do, Spinner just doesn’t agree with my battle strategies,” she huffed. “My alignment is far too ‘chaotic’ and ‘recklessly violent’ for his tastes apparently.”
“Oh, yeah that makes sense,” Jin laughed this time just envisioning the two of them stuck on a team. “Well have fun with that.”
“Yeah well,” she brushed by him into the hall, keys jangling as she went and calling over her shoulder. “Text me how it goes, and wear that new button up you got last week, it looks good on you!”
***
Much to Jin’s surprise and delight, Magne was right.
He was fine.
He was fine.
Fine was a bit subjective—as he was most certainly still highkey panicking on main as he got out of his last class and walked the short few blocks to the cafe on campus—but regardless he was perfectly okay.
Of course that all went right out the fucking window in the split second between him walking in and you already staring at the door as he entered. Your eyes widened just a bit and this smile broke out slowly across your cheeks when you waved him over and it was like suddenly every single creepy as hell day dream had just become reality.
It was a little overwhelming to say the least.
His heart may have actually stopped in his chest for a bit and he did contemplate the possibility that Kurogiri might have actually discovered his little plot, murdered him in cold blood and stuffed his body in the records room. This might all just be the afterlife, but that would mean that Jin had gone to some kind of heaven which didn’t really add up with his current tract record.
But it was fine.
Because you were really fucking easy to talk to.
Like, really fucking easy.
It was sorta strange actually, how you seemed to know all this shit he was into before he even really mentioned it.
After you traded off the goods, you both sat in the big comfy couches upstairs in the loft and you listened to him info dump, inevitably getting lost down innumerable unrelated tangents. You managed to keep up well enough though and not question the winding conversation.
“Damn,” he said, sipping at the last dregs left behind in his cup. “How do you know about all this stuff?”
“Uh,” you paused then, looking maybe just a bit sheepishly into your own drink. “I may or may not have spent a considerable amount of time eavesdropping into your conversations while you’re on shift.”
He saw flashes at that moment—dial up sounds going off between his ears.
Jin.exe has stopped working.
“...What?”
You grimaced and hid your face in your hands for a moment, “I know it sounds really creepy, my friends just sorta made a, um, game out of it? They tease me a lot about going to study at the library just cause of the cute guy that works there, so we all kinda stalk you a little bit just—wow this is sounding exponentially worse and worse every second.”
He gaped a bit despite himself as you cringed visibly and Jin tried to discreetly pinch his thigh to make sure this really wasn’t some sort of cruel, cruel fever dream.
“You think I’m cute…?”
He blinked once and your eyes shot up to meet his, a pained, half smile caught between your teeth. “I mean, yeah. I kinda thought I was being a bit obvious, sorry.”
“What no, holy fuck,” he spluttered, face on fire and legs bouncing restlessly against the couch across from you. “Don’t apologize, I have a, uh, staring habit too I guess.”
“I know,” you rubbed at the back of your neck and Jin didn’t think it was possible for you to be anymore endearing. “I’ve noticed, that’s like the whole reason I insisted on buying you a drink.”
“So wait is this a date?”
Jin wished almost immediately that he hadn’t asked, because Magne was right, it super didn’t matter but fucking shit on a stick he really wanted it to be a date!!!!
“Yeah,” you nodded. “If you’d like that.”
“Yes!—ah, I mean, uh yeah mhm,” Jin choked on his spit with enthusiasm, but it did earn him a concerned shoulder pat so he’d take the win.
It also afforded him the opportunity to walk you home after hours chatting until the streets were lit by burnt orange lamps and the cafe was closing. You didn’t live all that far from him actually and when you stopped to point out your door, the two of you were overcome by that telltale, charged silence.
Filled with potential.
Like a gas stove waiting for a spark to go up in flames.
It was you that struck the match.
“So, um, I promise I don’t just, uh, do this with everyone but, do you wanna maybe come inside,” you let your hand trail down his arm and slip into his palm, “I don’t feel like you’ve been properly compensated for saving my ass.”
Jin’s mouth was watering at the thought. He nodded slowly, eyes like saucers as you pulled him up your steps and through the door which shut promptly behind him.
Your place was nice in the sense that it fit you. He wasn’t really paying all that much attention to his surroundings as you locked the door and squeezed his hand in yours, leading him towards the end of the entrance hall.
When he stepped through to your bedroom, you toed off your shoes and he did the same, staring nervously and waiting for you to show him what exactly you meant by ��further compensation.’
It was exactly what he’d hoped.
You approached him, still in the doorway, and stepped close so your chests brushed together. It was soft, the way you looked at him, sort of fuzzy around the edges while your hands trailed down his arms to place his palms at your waist.
It wasn’t like Jin hadn’t done this before—he totally had and definitely remembered all of it and wasn’t shit faced at all nope—but it hadn’t really mattered before. He knew in theory that he should take the lead, be a gentleman and make the first move and holy fucking god he was dying over there with the desire to finally live out his months and months of fantasies
But what if he did it wrong?
What if he ruined it now when he was so close to the finish line?
He’d never fucking forgive himself for it, and he could goddamn hear Magne in his head.
“You think too much for your own good.”
And he did, and he was right now, cause the room was only dimly lit by the street light streaming in through the window and you were reaching out to loop your arms behind his neck.
Should he lean down now?
Tilt left or right?
What if he clacked your teeth together?
What if—
Your lips were soft and hot against his, rubbing at the stubble on his chin before pressing close in that precious, puzzle-piece way human bodies fit together. He didn’t do much thinking after that.
His hands were too busy digging into the flesh of your hips separated by way to many fucking layers of fabric, and he couldn’t quite stop himself from indulging just a bit. Jin sucked gently at your lower lip, knees going weak at the glorious fucking sound you made in the back of your throat as he licked over the taught skin and tugged it between his teeth.
He could feel you smiling into his mouth, sharing breath and raking your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. Jin groaned and you—fucking cheeky little bastard—slipped your tongue right past his lips and licked at the back of his fucking teeth like a popsicle in July.
Your hands in his hair hard tugged and his breath was coming faster, lips gliding against yours as the room turned to steam around him.
Through the haze he clung to the few remaining seconds of clarity.
Jin pulled away for one painful second to mumble against your lips.“You meant have sex, right?”
“Yeah,” your voice was barely more than a whisper, but you nodded frantically and rolled your hips against his.
“Ohh fuck, ‘kay good, thank god.”
For once Jin had nothing more to add.
And you weren't exactly willing to give him back his tongue long enough for any interruptions anyway.
***
“Holy fucking shit, look at you,” Jin gasped into your ear.
Both of your clothes had been discarded long ago, and he had your bare back to his chest while he sat propped against the headboard with your legs hooked on either side of his knees. It didn’t afford him the best view, but he got your head resting on his shoulder and pretty moans spilling right into his ear.
He didn’t need to see your pussy anyway.
The slick pouring out of your pretty fucking hole and coating his fingers as he pumped two of them into you was more than enough. His other hand wandered in the lovely expanse of space between your chest and your waist, running softly over the skin and pausing to pinch and roll your nipples just to hear you whine.
His cock was so fucking hard, trapped between your ass and his stomach, twitching every time you thrust your hips to meet the movement of his wrist.
“Jin, fuck please-”
You used his name every time you begged him for more and it was really going to his head.
“You’re so goddamn perfect, I’m gonna fucking ruin you,” he groaned and sunk his fingers deeper into your soaking cunt while his mouth dropped to your neck and sucked hard to mark you lovely skin.
He licked at the indents of his teeth, tasting your sweat on his tongue that tangled with yours again as your hand reached for his cheek and pulled him in. It was less of a kiss and more of a sloppy forming of your mouths that left you connected by a silvery string of spit that flashed in the low light. Jin sighed at the sight, rutting his hips against the cleft of your ass.
Your thighs twitched where they were spread and your hips lifted off the mattress to meet the languid thrusts of his fingers that curled up on every push in to hear the hitch in your breath.
He took pity on you and brought his other hand down to rub circles on your clit, listening for the telltale whimpers and the way your nails dug into his arm to find the perfect rhythm.
“I don’t really—mm, there fuck—feel like I’m paying you back right now,” you mumbled nipping your own trail of stepping stone bruises onto his throat as he picked up the pace and held steady on that sweet bundle of nerves.
“Are you fucking serious?”
He didn’t really mean to full on growl at you then, but just the thought that you’d really believe he wasn’t about to fucking drown in ecstasy just from watching you get off—just from touching, speaking, being in anyway acknowledged by you at all. Jin nudged your head to the side and bit down harshly into the crook of your neck, shuddering as you moaned and arched against his chest.
In any other scenario, he could never really find the right balance between too many words and not enough. The sheer volume of thoughts and interjections that raced like cars reaching the end of rush hour traffic made the formulation of any coherent conversation impossible, but now—
Now with your body so pliant in his hands, so willing and sweet and wanting him.
Wanting him.
What a concept.
He needed you to understand, to know how fucking over the moon, sunshine bright you had him burning.
And for once, he finally had the words to do it.
After all, he’d had months to prepare.
It was surprisingly easy to change your positions, to pull away from you for just a moment so he could roll and cage you on your hands and knees under him, ass in the air nestled against his cock.
“You really don’t think I’m getting anything out of this?” he groaned into you ear, rocking his length against you both for emphasis and because it felt so fucking good.
“Ah, well ya know,” your voice was so wrecked he was desperate to find out how much it would take for you to lose it entirely. “When you put it like that—mmh—I just feel bad you’re doing all the work. ”
You had this cheeky fucking grin on your face when you rocked forward so back so his cock slipped down to your dripping lips. The heat of your cunt was mesmerizing and it took a fuck ton of self control Jin was unaware he possessed to not ram straight into you right then.
“Yeah cause I’ve wanted to for fucking months goddamn it’s driving me insane.”
“What?”
Now that he’d started, Jin couldn’t find it in himself to stop. His hands dug hard into your hips, rocking so the tip of his dick caught your clit and you shivered below him, hot skin sliding with the motion of your bodies.
“It’s all I think about whenever I see you,” he was shaking when his hand reached down to grip himself, spreading your folds and soaking his length in your slick. “When you come in to work I just fucking lose myself thinking about how bad I want you to be mine, my pretty fucking thing to bring me coffee while I work and let me fuck you in the backroom.”
You whimpered under him, face pressed into the mattress as he draped himself over you, chest to back with his breath ghosting over your ear.
“Literal hours I just sit there at that awful fucking job and I only keep coming cause of you, cause I can watch you sit all cute in your chair and watch the way your cheeks squish up when you put your face in your hands and imagine they’re my hands and I’m about to spit in your fucking mouth so you remember who you belong too.”
“I—” you were nearly choking on the drool that soaked through your sheets as Jin lined himself up with your pretty little hole, pressing just the tip into your heat. “I didn’t think you ever—nggh, shit—noticed much about me.”
The corners of his eyes burned as sweat dripped down his forehead, he had to hold back a sob as he sheathed another inch into those perfect walls.
“Notice you? You’re all I fucking think about,” he pressed his lips softly against your shoulder, hands running from your chest to your sides as you took his cock and every word that slipped from his lips without complaint. “I could take such good care of you. I just fucking know it, just please, let me take care of you?”
“Fuck Jin,” your voice was closer to a sob than anything else but he needs you screaming. “You don’t really have to convince me—”
His patience had run out long ago, not even willing to let you finish before he’d sunk in to the hilt, spearing you on his cock with one final thrust. You ass was flush with his hips and his balls hung heavy and tight against the back of your thighs. The strangled little cry that worked its way out of your throat had gooseflesh erupting across his arms where he held you to him.
Jin couldn’t really be sure—it wasn’t like his brain was all that functional on a day to day basis and it most certainly was not now—but your walls clenching around him and that addictive warm, wet feeling milking his cock was on a whole other level than any fuck he’d ever had before.
There was something about the curve of your back against his chest, and the way you seemed to suck him in, drawing his length back in just seconds after he’d pulled out. Some about the feeling of your chest in his hands, of the sweat on your skin that he licked off in a long strip up your spine. Like you really were made for him. As though all those months spent in dream land, concocting your pretend lives together had spilled over into reality, molding you into the perfect shape to take him deep and hard and cry while you came on his cock just like he knew you were meant to.
“Oh, fuck yeah, gonna make you feel so good, I promise,” he mumbled, forehead pressed to the nape of your neck as his hips drew back and he sunk into you over and over again.
He needed you to moan louder, needed your neighbors on the other side of every wall to hear what he did to you, how he fucked you dumb on his cock and made you drunk with the pleasure of it—slutty and perfect and better than any fantasy he could ever concoct.
The room was filled completely with the wet slap of your bodies—his balls tightening up just at the squelch of you taking him—leaving only enough space for your cries and his grunting, no room left for any bitter doubt to creep in and ruin the sweetness in the air.
He could feel the surge growing in his stomach, the tensing in his thighs as his hips stuttered, but he needed you to cum first. Wanted to tip over the edge to the feeling of you spasming around him, so he let a hand slip from your hip to your folds. Jin only paused for a moment to run a finger around your stretched hole, feeling himself plunging into you, before drifting back up to your swollen clit and working the sensitive bud.
The mattress creaked and rocked along as Jin increased his pace, shifting his hips until his tip knocked against something that had your hands fisting in the sheets and your tongue lolling out in between cries of his name.
You didn’t give him much a warning, not that he minded really. Just a muffled shout with your head smashed into the pillows and the tightening of your walls surrounding him before he felt your whole body wracked with tremors so hard he had to wrap both arms around your middle and hold you while he rammed into you.
Jin wasn’t really keeping track of the filth that was pouring from his lips as he brought himself closer to release. A lot of encouragement, that you were taking him so well, cumming so pretty for him, mixed with a lot of thanks—for letting him have this, have you, for not casting him aside like everyone else always inevitably did.
He did have the clarity to drag one arm up and link your fingers together, pressing hard into the bed while blood pounded in his ears and his hips stuttered in their relentless rhythm. When Jin did finally cum, it was a strangely silent affair, all the words and sound that usually roared inside him dying on his lips as his cock spilled milky release deep inside you and your walls fluttered at the fullness.
And then it was as though every muscle in his body changed physical states.
Boneless, he collapsed onto you with a little huff. You didn’t even complain, just squeezed his hand tighter in yours and hummed at the weight of him.
“Well I think that was a, um,” you panted while he nuzzled his face deeper into your neck, “pretty equivalent exchange yeah?”
“I don’t know,” Jin kissed and nipped at the sweet skin of your shoulder, “I think you might have over paid a bit.”
You laughed, the joyous movement of your chest jostled him from your back and had his soft cock slipping from you in a gush of combined release. “I doubt that very much, I didn’t know I’d be getting to take your fucking load as part of the deal.”
“Shit,” he felt his heart seize in his chest, raising up on his elbows to look down as you turned to him. “I’m sorry, I should have asked.”
Your hand came up to stroke his cheek, clammy but welcome. He sat up enough so you could lay on your back and pull him back down to your chest amidst the sweat and cum slicked sheets.
“Don’t worry about it, I would have asked you to anyway,” you kissed the baby frizz at his hairline and if Jin hadn’t already melted into a puddle, then he certainly was now. “If I’d been able to talk at all.”
“Ha, yeah….”
A short silence descended in your dark bedroom. The noise of cars and the occasional shout filtered in through the window, but there was no other sound than your evening breaths. Jin tried not to ruin the peace while he had it.
It was such a rare commodity.
But he couldn’t say he mourned the quiet when you finally spoke.
“Did you wanna stay the night?” you asked in that soft way he always envisioned you would.
Soft so he’d know it was just a courtesy.
That you didn’t want him to leave.
“Uh, yeah, yes I would,” he stumbled over the words a bit, trying not to sound too eager but wanting you to know he would work a thousands shifts at the reception desk if it meant you held him for just a second longer.
“Good,” you sighed.
He felt you scoot down the bed and flopped onto his back so you could settle your head on his chest and drape an arm across his stomach. After another few minutes he felt you go limp at his side, soft and relaxed as you slipped away into dreams.
But though his muscles ached and his eyes felt heavy, Jin resisted the call to sleep.
He didn’t need to now.
You were here, in the flesh, and he could study you intently while his eyes were open.
No need for his brain to conjure up scattered images of you.
Because he had you now, tucked safely under his arm for him to keep and hold and fuck and love the way he wanted.
So there was no more need for sleep.
And no need for dreams.
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only-one-brain-cell · 2 years ago
Text
Treacherous, a Bridgerton story Chapter 10
Summary: Poor Colin is scarred for life and Benedict is trying to get Anthonys head out of his ass at the Queens ball.
Warnings: none
Word count: 3k
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 11, Chapter 12
Colin
While we were standing around waiting for Anthony to come back my stomach started growling.
"I'm gonna go find something to eat you want anything?"
"No,  because this isn't your house." Benedict looked appalled.
"It will be fine Aurora won't care."
"By all means go ahead." Benedict walked towards the living room choosing to sit down on a couch instead and got out his notebook.
I started walking down the halls passing a few unfamiliar rooms until I noticed one was closed. I reached for the door then I herd a deep moan. A moan that could I figured could only belong to Anthony.
"Oh my god." I said taking my hand away from the doorknob. Suddenly I wasn't feeling very hungry, No instead I suddenly felt very sick and might empty my breakfast onto this very floor.
"Was that a satisfying reward my lord?" I stood there in shock.
"When did you become such a little mix? A little mix with the best mouth in London." I didn't want to hear any of this but my feet refused to move or I lacked the brain power to get them to move.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." I don't want to know what Anthony enjoyed or even have a idea of what.
"A shame I can't return the favour." OK I herd enough I managed to get my feet moving again and all but ran back.
"Your back already?" Benedict asked then noticed the discomfort on my face.
"Are you ok?"
"I herd them. Ok I herd Anthony moan and then I herd him talk to Aurora apparently she reward him-
"Please don't tell me any more."
"I fear I may live out the rest of my days as a monk."
"Don't be overdramatic!"
"I'm doing it Benedict I'm swearing off women!"
"Let's see how long that lasts."
"I mean it!"
"Right and you will be the one explaining to mother why you won't be marrying?" I waved him off "she will be too busy trying to find Aurora a husband that Anthony hasn't already threatened."
"At this rate I fear the only grandchildren she will have will be from Daphne." 
"Shhhhh, I hear them." Benedict said "act natural."
Before I had a chance to even think about what to do I herd footsteps then Aurora walking towards us Anthony following close behind.
"Thank you so much for all your hard work."
"Anytime Aurora, and not just because Anthony would drag us along if we said no anyways." Benedict said Aurora giggled unaware of Anthony glaring at Benedict so hard his eyes might as well become daggers.
"Don't we have a ball to get ready for?" Anthony asked
"In a hurry Anthony? I thought I was the lady here." I swear Anthony's chocked on his own spit and had to cough to hide it. Add that to the new but ever growing list of Things Anthony and Aurora have said/ done to each other that I do not wish to ever hear about ever again. Even worse Aurora had the audacity to smirk at him. Anthony glared right at her with...desire? I feel like I should leave even though they aren't even doing anything, how no one else has found out is a miracle.
Aurora
I walked into the ballroom and looked around, groups of people gossiping some even glancing a look at me. Seems Lady Whisledown has written about me again this morning I've been too busy to read the newest addition I'll have to ask Eloise to borrow her copy tomorrow. A familiar voice called my name and I smiled them turned to Daphne, her arm on her husband who she broke away from to walk over to me.
"Oh it's so good to see you, I apologize we never did get to talk much at the last ball."
"Nonsense you were hosting and your brother kept me occupied anyways."
"Yes I'm sure he did." She said not even asking which brother, she knew. "Aurora this is Simon I've been meaning to have you two introduced sooner but that would require for both of you to be in the same country much less the same city." I rolled my eyes.
"So this is the famous Lady Hathaway. Daphne has told me so much about you, and of course her eldest brother as well. At Oxford I couldn't pry him away from a desk for more then 5 minutes because he was writing yet another letter to you."
"Did you see them dance at our ball?" Daphne asked
"I did" please someone save me.
"Sister!" A enthusiastic Benedict walked over to Daphne embracing her in a hug. I tried to walk away from the conversation but Benedict stopped me.
"Aurora, care to join me for a dance?"
"I would love to."
"But I was talking to her about- Benedict took my hand and led me to the dance floor before Daphne could finish her sentence.
"Thank you." I said
"For what?" Benedict asked smirking "I truly just want to dance with you."
"At least I don't have to worry about you wanting to marry me."
"How do you know? How do you know I'm not secretly in love with you and want you all to myself in hopes you will fall in love with me too and one day we will be wed."
"Because you seem to forget that I know you, that you've never once seemed to take interest in me as a romantic prospect."
"Your right, for if I did I fear Anthony may attempt to pummel me. Is that why you won't marry? Because you fear Anthony may give your future husband a black eye?"
"No, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind."
"None the less Aurora I hope you enjoy tonight."
"I'll try my best that is if I'm not hiding from suitors the entire night."
"Yes will we have many men lined outside the drawing room tomorrow? If so I may have to warn Mother."
"No need for that."
"Pity, I won't be able to see Anthony trying not to strangle every single one of them."
"I've seen Anthony punch, they will be fine." Benedict laughed "I knew there was a reason we kept you around." The song ended and Benedict walked away making way for many men all eagerly asking me to dance.
Benedict
"Did it work?" I asked walking over to Colin.
"Yes, for a moment I thought he was going to punch you in the middle of the ballroom." We glanced over at Anthony looking at the circle of men asking Aurora for a dance with the exact same glare I assume he was giving me moments ago. The same glare I've seen whenever a man would go near Aurora.
"Like that?" I asked
"Exactly like that."
"Then brother I would say our plan is working."
I stepped outside for some fresh air where some men waved me over.
"Good evening." I said
"Let's save the small talk Bridgerton, are you or anyone in your family courting Lady Hathaway?" This will get Anthony going for sure, Aurora I'm sorry.
"No not at all, please gentleman ask her for a dance although I will say she is very popular tonight so good luck."
"What about Lord Bridgerton, they were seen dancing no less then 3 times at the last ball." I shrugged my shoulders.
"I talked to my brother and he insisted they were friends and nothing more." That seemed to sway them as two more men pilled inside. I walked back in to see the results, there Aurora was dancing with yet another man.
"What did you do?" Colin asked walking over to me.
"I did nothing." I said with a smile.
"Uh huh, I think your enjoying this too much brother."
"I'm surprised your not you do realize that once Anthony gets his head out of his ass and confesses his love they will finally be married and we won't have to be subjected to- I looked over at Anthony who's face turned from anger to sadness at the attention Aurora was receding from other suitors.
"That." I said pointing at Anthony
"his face looks like a puppy." Colin said
"Exactly."
"I should also go spread the word."
"Or better yet join the lineup."
"You know one of these days Anthony is actually going to beat me and I'd rather it not happen in front of the entire ton."
"Not if he's busy with little Anthony's."
"Or little Auroras."
"Oh what a menace they will be, I can't wait to meet them."
"Me either." We both smirked at each other then watched with amusement at our brother looking at Aurora with the face of a lovesick man.
Eloise
"In front of the entire family Pen! Oh how I wish you could see the look on Mothers face."
"Is she serious Eloise? Never?"
"If there is one thing Aurora is serious about is her decisions, I've never seen anyone change her mind on anything no matter the topic. Oh how I wish for her life Pen, freedom and independence to do what you want, go where you want, and to say what you want."
"You know why she can do that can you?"
"Yes because she's the head of her household of course imagine a women being in charge."
"My mother is in charge of our house."
"Yes but don't you have a heir coming?" She was silent for a moment. "Still I do not believe her life to be as amazing as you'd think, although." Penelope looked over at Aurora "she is beautiful, I do not blame men for wanting to get her attention even your brother."
"Ugh, don't remind me I already have to read about it in Lady Whisledown."
"They would make a lovely couple El you have to admit." I sighed
"I suppose, and if Aurora did change her mind I guess her becoming my sister in law wouldn't be the worse decision she'd make."
"Yes and she would be a Viscountess as well imagine all the laddies that would dream of that."
"Aurora doesn't care about titles, she was never formal with us and we never wanted her to be. Even when Anthony became head of the house."
"I understand why you look up to her so." Penelope said. Just then I saw Aurora run up to us
"Oh thank heavens both of you please hide me from any man that wants to dance with me. I do not wish to put one more foot on the dance floor."
"I hardly see how that's possible considering
your taller then both of us." Penelope said
"Shh" Aurora said crouching down behind me. Pen was right it was a awful idea and it definitely didn't hide her from Anthony walking over with a glass of lemonade.
"Eloise, Miss Featherington, have either of you seen Aurora?" He smirked he could clearly see her crouching behind me. "These men have no manners,
not one of them offered Aurora a glass of lemonade." Aurora straightened herself coming out of her poor excuse for a hiding spot.
"There was nothing stronger?" She asked taking the lemonade.
"Unfortunately not."
"Pity" she said taking a sip. I saw Anthony stare at her lips and suddenly felt like I was going to empty out everything that I had ate last.
"Would you like to dance Aurora?"
"Unfortunately my dance card is full." She said waving it in front of his face. He took the card and wrote his name on the back of the card.
"Now it's full."
"Your unbelievable." I swear they forgot we are even here, Anthony took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.
"Eloise, I think one day your going to have a sister in law."
"Maybe" I responded
Aurora
After the dance where Anthony whispered all sorts of dirty things in my ear we agreed to meet in the gardens, I would walk our first and Anthony would leave 5 minutes later. I envisioned him looking at his pocket watch the entire time while trying to engage in conversations with others. I smirked knowing he would not last the 5 minutes and would turn up any second now.
"Your here." Anthony said, I turned around to face him.
"Of course, where else would I be?"
"With one of your many, many MANY suitors." I gasped "Anthony Bridgerton are you jealous?"
"I am not jealous" I raised an eyebrow.
"I was concerned" I burst out laughing
"Concerned? Is that what your going with? Really?"
"I can leave you know, after all think of what could happen if we were caught alone together."
"Is that what you want?" I asked softly.
"Aurora I only-
"Your right, your putting your entire family at risk here, imagine the scandal, your family would be in ruin."
"That's not going to happen, none of that is going to happen. If you want this to end I will honour that and we will go back to the way things were... before." My heart ached at the very thought of it.
"No!" Anthony seemed taken back by my outburst but not upset.
"Oh thank god." He rushed to kiss me his hands grabbed my and pulled me closer to him. My hands immediately went to tug at his hair, his tongue practically being shoved into my mouth. I moaned, Anthony always kissed me like time was about to run out, like this was the last kiss we were ever going to have. For all we know this could be, we could get caught at any given time. We need to work on being more discreet, all thoughts left my mind when his hands frantically running down my body. He grabbed my ass my while leaving a trail of kisses down my neck. I unbuttoned the first couple buttons on his shirt while one of his hands sneaked it's way under my dress caressing my leg. I was just about to reach for the buttons on his trousers when I herd
"BRIDGERTON!" I immediately shoved Anthony off of me to see none other then the Duke of Hastings himself standing there his arms crossed.
"Fuck" I whispered
"Hastings, beautiful gardens the Queen has." Is he serious right now?
"Are you seriously going with that?" The Duke asked
"I should leave." I walked away ignoring Anthony calling my name.
Anthony
"What the hell did I just witness? After all we went through with Daphne I find you in the exact same position."
"It's different." Hastings laughed
"Oh please tell how this is different. Did you get secretly married to her because in that case go on then, although that wouldn't explain why she ran away."
"No but-
"So it's not different then, Bridgerton what are you thinking? What if it was someone else that caught you? Tomorrow morning everyone could be reading about this, is she really worth your family being in ruin?"
"You fucked her once you tell me."
"This isn't about me, that was years ago I'm surprised she told you, now don't go changing the subject Bridgerton. You accepted responsibilities that comes with being a lord I thought you were done with frivolous affairs."
"I-
"Unless it's something deeper?" Hastings asked raising an eyebrow knowing he could be crossing a line.
"It's not, it can't be."
"Why not?" I smirked
"Ironically enough she like you has made a decision not to marry."
"You've fallen in love with her I take it."
"What? No of course not."
"So you two are just going to secretly fuck each other forever then? Is that the plan?"
"What I do or don't do with Aurora is none of your business."
"Your right, but it will become your family's business if you get caught." I sighed he was right and I'd rather not have to sit my family down and explain the reason to them why our name is tarnished, because I didn't take precautions. I groaned
"it wasn't supposed to be like this."
"What getting caught?"
"You know what I mean, there was never supposed to be any.... Feelings attached to this."
"I think feelings started attaching themselves to this long ago." I groaned,
"you sound like my brothers, or my mother."
"All who just want you to be happy, and from what I gathered Lady Hathaway as well. Daphne has spoken of little else since we got word she is returning to London."
"I made sure the house was prefect for her arrival." I admitted, "I got her room ready before I even sent a letter asking her to stay with us."
"Just admit it to yourself Bridgeton trust me you'll feel better."
"Even if I do nothing will happen, she vows to never marry. She's incredibly stubborn in that regard, just like someone else I know."
"If she truly loves you back she will change her mind."
"You don't know her."
"Your right, but I know the vow she made to herself, it couldn't have been easy especially for a women and if she doesn't change her mind when she is clearly just as infatuated with you as you are with her then she doesn't deserve you."
"Marriage has changed you."
"I'm happy and I simply only want you to be happy as well. Now why a women as beautiful like her has fallen for you that I'll never know." I laughed,
"don't make me punch you again."
"How many times will that be now?" He asked, I clasped a hand on his shoulder.
"Your right, you were all right and I hate you all and myself for it."
"Admit it to yourself you'll feel better trust me." Wirh that Hastings walked away leaving me to my thoughts. I let out a deep sigh, I'm in love with her I'm in love with Aurora Hathaway..... bastard was right that did make me feel better. I know what I have to do now...... tell Benedict he was right.
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madfantasy · 5 years ago
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hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕
(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)
Hello dear!
Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.
Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.
I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?
My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.
I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.
Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.
I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.
And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.
At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)
Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.
Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.
Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.
Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.
But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.
And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.
The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:
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Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.
He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.
He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.
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And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:
Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them
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I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.
And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'
Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.
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Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.
Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛
I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!
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Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe
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Candy, a less brain developed babyy
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Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh
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And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.
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Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.
And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏
1.5.2020
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