#i've been on tumblr too much recently i think it's getting super unhealthy maybe i should disappear again lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - January 30

Junk food anon (new), sum it up anon (new), w anon (new), tile anon (new), angry anon (new

Junk Food Anon

Hi <3 First, I am SO sorry, this got eaten by tumblr and just appeared in my inbox now.

I am an overweight person and like...I get where you're coming from, I promise. But I also need you to know that what you're thinking about is NOT a solution. Because being overweight isn't a problem, it's a symptom. It could be a symptom of an unhealthy relationship with food or some kind of health condition, but either way, if you're trying to treat being overweight, you're not going to help yourself, because you're treating the symptom, not the actual problem.

If you say your problem is having an unhealthy relationship with food, this will just make it ten times worse. You have to try to have a HEALTHY relationship with food. Whether that be by seeing a nutritionist, a therapist, going to a support group, etc, THAT is the problem you need to focus on.

And of course, that's only if you want to! The other thing is, people regard weight as such a negative and what I've learned is...if your body is functioning fine, then your weight doesn't matter. So you really don't have to do anything if your body is healthy.

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Sum It Up Anon

whats up cass? hope your day is well!!

so there’s a lot, but ill sum it up:

basically, i have a girlfriend right? she’s super awesome, but things have been rocky recently

it started after she sent me screenshots of texts of me and another one of her friends talking about crushes (in said screenshot, i admitted that i liked her back, which was a lie and something i recognize i shouldn’t have done, but it was awkward and i didn’t know what to do)

she clearly seemed upset by it, but we were on a break when those texts were sent, so i didn’t really get why she was upset? alas i told her that it was a lie and i shouldn’t have said the lie, but throughout all of it she seemed to not believe me. we probably both weren’t in the right headspace (she texted me so and i am going through it rn) but i told her that i was giving my absolute honesty to her.

i talked to a few friends, and they threw around the word insecure a lot, which is something i keep thinking about for some reason. anyway, a few days later she texted me and asked if i was okay and if she did anything wrong. i told her that i was just going though it and she was fine.

honestly throughout all of this im starting to resent her, idek why she’s honestly so amazing i just… can’t. i feel like a piece of shit for resenting her because i truly don’t know if she’s wrong or if i am.

(bonus but something im trying to figure out: i think i might be gay??? which is a problem because i’m a man. like i lowkey hate myself for it but thats not important)

Okay so as far as the first problem, yeah it sounds like she's insecure, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's true you did nothing wrong, but she might just need reassurance that you like HER, and only her. Have you tried sitting down with her and reminding her of that?

Buuuuuuut the second problem. Well, that could definitely affect the first problem. First of all, being gay is not a problem by itself. It's okay to be gay! And I really hope you know that you don't have to hate yourself for that. But if you're not sure how you feel, or if you like your girlfriend, it might be best for you to break up with her and take some time to figure out how you feel. Remember, it's okay to like more than one gender, too!

But yeah, it might be that you need some time for self-reflection and that's totally okay and valid. Be kind to yourself, all of this is okay <3

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W Anon

Hey cas

Here to vent ig? Completely new and original of me, I know.

I'm scared. About everything that's going on right now. I'm safe, I guess, cause I'm white and ostensibly straight, but I'm also a girl so maybe not so much. But I'm still scared. And angry. I'm an adult now but I wasn't back when the election happened and it feels like my future was stolen right out of my hands and I couldn't do anything about it. I'm scared for other people. Things are changing and it feels very unfixable. And there's all this bad stuff happening. And I guess I do feel a little guilty in a way, because even though I'm young and one person can't change anything and all of that, I've definitely made some choices out of fear or comfort. (Not speaking up as much as I should or not cutting off deeply bigoted friends... the like) That other people might not have the freedom to make those choices now, you know? I live in a deeply red state (tho honestly by the statics of it, in any given group of ten in my county, you have 5 who didn't vote, 2 who voted for trump, 2 for Harris, and one who voted independent, or around that. So it could have been worse? Which makes the whole thing seem stupider yk). And you hear about like people who went along with like what the nazis did and I don't want to be that! It contradicts my religious beliefs and my moral compass. But I don't really know what to do. So yeah, scared angry and guilty. And lost. This is terrible for my mental health.

Oh and I got my first college rejection yesterday. Kinda grieving a bit about that, but only to myself because I don't want my parents to know I care. It was where my dad went to school, ironically enough.

Do you listen to sad music when you're sad? I do. Or like happy music to try and change that? Idk

I hope you're well. Thanks for all you do for people. ✨️ stay cool ✨️

-W

Hi <3 I think all of what you are feeling right now is so normal and valid, and a lot of people are feeling the same way. I think the thing is, the fact that you are scared shows that you'll never be completely complacent. Just keep questioning things, you know? It's okay to make decisions to protect yourself when you're at risk, but it also is necessary sometimes to protect other people. And it's okay to make mistakes sometimes about knowing the difference. We're all human, and learning to navigate this together <3

I'm so sorry about your college rejection. I hope you get accepted to a school soon! And I tend to listen to sad music when I'm sad.

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Tile Anon

Hi <3

I think the question is, IS there anything you can do? It might be that there isn't, and as horrible as it is, you have to let this go, you know? I know you want things to be the way they used to be, but it sounds like they aren't even when things are okay. It might be that you need to focus your energy on healthier relationships.

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Angry Anon

Hi, sorry don't mean to bother but do you have some safer ways to calm down from being angry?

I'm dealing with an unhealthy household. I get shouted at for 'existing wrong', 'damaging everything in the house' (the furniture survived three generations before me) and even for talking to anyone. I can't leave the house unless it's for an errand, neither can sleep because I get woken up two to three times a night. every. single. day. for around two months now. I cannot sleep in the morning either because how dare I. I'm taking care of my grandma and a younger sibling and I don't wanna lash out on anyone or anything but I'm sick of things. I was meant to go to college this year but I don't think they'd let me.

I was interrupted around five times to do stuff just when writing this ahh. Sorry for venting a bit. Do you have any advice :(

Hi <3

First of all, I'm so sorry about your situation. I'm assuming moving out isn't an option?

But as far as getting anger out- I think it's a mixture of getting the mental and physical energy out. Physically, you can punch pillows, crumple and throw paper, go for walks, scream into a pillow. Mentally, you can write angry letters and not send them, vent to friends (or in my inbox), draw, or go somewhere and rant.

Also....if rage rooms are a thing near you...they're fucking amazing.

Wishing you all the luck <3

[boytransmission]

Idk if you would answer something personal like this but I thought I’d shoot my shot!

For background I’m 20, queer/enby and just starting to get into bdsm/kink this past year or two. I also prefer a submissive/brat role and your page has helped me a lot in feeling a community and understanding.

How did you learn about this side of yourself/explore it, have you found community that makes you feel validated in it and can share it with, and how do you work through shame if you experience that?

I hope you have the best day I appreciate you!

-🫀

Heyy howdy! i'm so happy to hear my little corner of tumblr has helped you out at all, that's really cool :) I don't feel super qualified to answer your questions, but i'll do my best under the cut

I learned about this side of myself very, very early on lol. I was extremely hypersexual as a child (didn't know what a sexuality was so i just fantasized about everyone) then got scared of myself from like 9-14 (came out as bi at 11, lesbian at 12), then got back to it as a highschooler (13: trans & bi; 15-18:gay ftm). I never got with anyone (didn't start screwing till i was 18), but i poked around 20th century queer art and history and photography (mostly from the u.s., and mostly gay male), and by the time i joined in on the grindr scene at 18 i had an idea of how i wanted to be thrown around. I explored it all in a pretty horrible, unhealthy way through grindr. I fell in love with a transfem who was my first for everything but was secretly using me as "the other man" the whole time, i was always too scared to actually deny sex to anyone who i wound up meeting in person which did a horrific number on my body, and i was obviously chased all over the map by cis male fetishists, and i got with several of them and dated one who was extremely... i don't know. Manipulative? Violent? It's more confusing than that. I was having sex as an addict running away from my real life issues and emotional struggles, and i fucked myself over so much worse than any one hookup or short-term relationship possibly could've. I realized i needed to cut it all off, and i did, and it forced me to seriously think about where i stand sexually. I was right when i was a kid- i'm a dyke. As imaginitive as i was when i was younger, i haven't been 'hypersexual' since i was maybe 13, and i am definitely demisexual. The trauma i experienced from august 2022 to july 2023 has caused extremely intense bouts of sex-repulsion fluctuating against sex addiction which has been... tough. But with all that said, coming back to my dyke roots and listening to my younger self and pursuing butchness and fagdyke bullshit has helped me heal so, so much. It was rough realizing that what i was doing was a twisted version of comphet, something i stupidly thought i was more or less immune to. This community and all the art and people and ideas that come out of it are so insanely incredible and touching to me. I've always been part of the trans community, but the trans dyke community is so much stronger together than the gay trans community was for reasons i don't know.

I currently live in a small town in florida with no nearby major cities, and even if there were, i can't afford a car (let alone gas or insurance) and i'm stuck at home when i'm not at work. It's miserable, and all those issues combined mean there's no community here for me to engage with, not queer and definitely not kinky. I've been wanting to move to a bigger city, and when i was visiting Seattle i got my first real ticket into a trans kink community that was so warm, welcome, open, and i was so, so floored and beyond happy i got to experience it, even if it was just one meet up at a cafe. Finding community in smaller areas is excruciating.... even if you take initiative to build it, it's likely there's no one actually There to join in.... i mope about it a lot. But online i feel like i have recently found a good circle of people/mutuals/etc to share in butch/dyke/trans sexuality and leather kinks and pretty much everything i've talked about on this blog, despite how badly it's lacking for me irl :,,)

Something that ties the two paragraphs together: i really don't struggle with shame in any bit of what i do or who i am, unless i'm going through a paranoid fit of sex-repulsion, in which case the only thing i'm really shameful about is having an online presence at all. Sometimes i get paranoid and scared off my ass that i'll never be separated from these fantasies and images, that i'll always be seen as a little, young fucktoy, or that i'm still in addiction and punishing myself and this is all self-harm when i know (in normal states) that it isn't.

Also sooooo glad you're a brat, isn't it so much fun? How am i not supposed to be a bit snarky from time to time and how am i not supposed to obsess over the punishments i'll get? It's always a win win i fucking love being a little piece of shit lollll

[latejulys]

omg 💀