#i've been obsessed with this little guy for almost two years what am i supposed to do now that his arc is officially complete?

[eugeniedanglars]

keeps hitting that there's a very strong chance this was the last time colin hughes will ever appear on my screen

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 1: Rimming

Paring: Kakashi Hatake x male reader

This guy

Warnings: Rimming DUH, anal fingering, teasing, slight begging, little bottom twinky fuck me daddy feminine male reader, no actual sex, enemies to lovers? I think that's it

Word Count: 1,307

Fuck him. Fuck his pretty silver hair that I just want to run my hands through while he eats my ass, his muscular form that must have been crafted by the sage of six paths himself, his beautiful attention catching eye, his mysterious mask, his (what I hope is) insanely large dick. Just fuck the whole thing (I wish).

Of course, the only person you could be thinking of is the one and only Kakashi Hatake, copy ninja of the leaf, and the hottest mother fucker to ever exist. Oh god did you have an obsession with him. Having wet dream after wet dream about him, screaming his name while masturbating, and it doesn't help that you catch him staring at you all the time almost as much as he catches you staring at him.

This whole obsession started a month ago when you saw him reading one of his goddamn sex books in the middle of the street. You walked over to him and asked why he was reading erotica in a VERY public place, and he just looked at you "Because it's hot." he stated matter-of-factly. The nerve of some people, from then on you two would see each other walking around, say hi, go your respective ways. It's been that way ever since; stolen glances and fuck me eyes since.

Until now. You were done with man after man not fulfilling you like you think he may be able to, maybe, it's a complete guess but he just gives off the vibe. Anyway, you saw him reading his demented sex shit again when you decided to make your fantasies a reality once and for all. You walk behind the bench he was sitting on and read the words on the page and HOLY SHIT IT'S GAY RIMMING. You mentally scream into the pillow like a 15-year-old girl who just found out her crush is available, which is kind of like what's going on.

"Uhm, can I help you?" Kakashi questions in his horny inducing voice, with a little annoyance sprinkled in through all the underwear wetting.

"Oh sorry, am I disturbing a public jack off sesh." You coldly state with a smirk on your face, hand doing a little masturbation gesture.

"Do you mind." he says rhetorically, the twinge of annoyance from earlier much more noticeable now.

"If you didn't want someone to talk to you then why are you reading 'that' on a public bench in the middle of the street again?" you sassily question.

"Because I wanted to read outside, privately." He answers, you look at him like he's the dumbest man in the whole world.

"Then why, in the absolute fuck, are you reading in the street you attention whore." you rhetorically ask, the previous sass now developed into genuine frustration as you walk around the bench to be right in front of him.

"That's cute coming from you." he chuckles.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" you ask.

"Don't act dumb, you have been trying to get into my pants for weeks now." he exclaims, you start to blush, ensuring that what he said is true.

"Don't act so high and mighty with me. I've seen you look at me too bitch." you state. He stands up, his large frame completely dwarfing you, his eyes almost angry. You do a cartoonish and audible gulp, the fear enhancing the horniness.

It's quiet for a while until he leans down,

"And what of it" he whispers in your ear and grabs you ass tightly, not caring if anyone sees. You let out a soft yelp at the sudden sign of attraction. You're completely stunned, not knowing what to do. He realizes this and before you can think any more, he holds you close and grabs your ass tighter and whispers,

"My place." It wasn't even a question or a request, it was a demand. One that even given the choice you wouldn't say no to.

Before you know it you're already on your way to Kakashi's place. He's giving you a piggyback ride to save time, and because he wants that juicy cake as quickly as possible, his mind is going crazy with your legs wrapping around him.

Finally, you make it to his place and immediately you both rush into his room. Right when you both enter you get off his back and onto the bed. Your legs spread as he takes off both your pants and underwear and tosses them both to the side.

"Now, turn around and bend over." already making demands and he hasn't even bought you dinner yet, not that you care because without a single moment of hesitation you are already on your hands and knees.

Without warning he immediately put his long skilled digit into your readily awaiting hole. He moves slowly as he starts to open you up. All the while you let out quiet moans.

"Your little moans are so cute." he said. Suddenly you feel a second finger enter you. He stays at the same excruciatingly slow pace. While he's pumping his fingers, he starts to feel the rest of your ass, rubbing it sensually and squeezing at the sensitive skin.

He puts in the third finger and his speed starts to pick up. Now your moans start to get louder as his three fingers stay at a steady and quick speed. He pumps them in and out over and over with precise repetition.

his fingers start to curl inside you, twisting and turning inside you perfectly. It's at this point that you are officially a moaning mess. The all too familiar feeling churns into your stomach. His fingers start turning and hitting your sweet spot consistently.

Then the feeling of relief washes over you as his fingers twist and hit your spot for the final time. You let out a loud moan and crash into the bed, cumming without even him putting his dick in you.

But he wasn't satisfied with just feeling inside you as he picked you up and brought you to your hands and knees again.

"Not yet sweetheart." he says as he starts to rub and massage your ass cheeks, caressing them to his desire. He gives you a quick and sharp spank, you cry out in pleasure from the surprise as he watches you ass jiggle in awe.

He puts his mask down and licks your ass, putting small and harmless love bites from time to time. Each lick and bite getting closer and closer to your hole. You start begging him to just devour you already. "Please, god I've fantasized about this please." you cry out, wanting, no, craving for his tongue.

"Well since you asked so nicely." he calmly states, though you can tell the excitement in his voice, aware that he wants this too. He licks lines on your cheek until FINALLY taking small licks on your entrance. Your spine chills in anticipation and pleasure and your breathing becomes shaky.

He licks languid circles on your entrance slowly. His hands are still caressing the rest of your ass. Your legs are shaking due to the stimulation and your cock is as hard as can be. He stops his simple licking and finally puts his tongue in your ass.

It starts off slowly but develops quickly into a fast pace, his tongue going in and out of you. You are now officially a moaning mess as his tongue is assaulting your hole. He continues this and then starts to put his fingers back in your hole while his mouth is still doing its job.

The familiar feeling in your stomach starts to build up again as his talented hands and mouth works on your asshole. Your moans crescendo until finally you climax for the second time of the night.

And you're not done yet.

THE END

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S05E15 - Northern Rexposure - Part A

Well, this is not a Hudson and Rex episode. When one gets past this very obvious conclusion, it's actually one of their best episodes. I personally like it very much. The cinematography is so much better. Even the writing, which shouldn't be, really, because it's the same people writing the other episodes. And it really shows that they spent more money on these episodes.

Black letters in quotes: Actual show quotes.

Green letters in quotes: What I come up with my twisted brain.

I still can't get over the fact that this wasn't a planned backdoor pilot for a Hudson and Rex spinoff.

Already, the episode prepares the viewer for some traveling.

Jesse's sister is a certified dumbass. Like, I'm sorry but I have very little sympathy for her especially for getting Sarah and Jesse in such a huge trouble. We've often talked about Jesse being a trouble magnet. I think it runs in the family. Jesse is not dumb, though, he gets into trouble often unwillingly, or in situations that don't seem inherently dangerous (first episode of the show excluded), and even when he does, he does it to help people. Crystal, on the other hand, gets into this situation very willingly and selfishly. And then she calls her brother to bail her out also selfishly.

I'd like to see the logic behind naming one kid something normal like Jesse, and naming the other Crystal, like a stripper.

The Ontario scenery is breathtaking. I think they filmed at the perfect time for all those leaves to be the exact right color lol

For fucks sake, call the police, don't confront him!

So, they didn't have a case but they spent their time at the office anyway up until late enough to get dinner there? Are you all masochists?

Too late. We have other things to do now.

Bwahaha no can do.

"Well, thank you for volunteering us for this."

"Yes, I mind. If we catch a case, who's going to solve it? Charlie?" (that was mean)

"I always am. I can't guarantee for the rest of the posse, though."

Now, that's an entrance. And of course, I do know Megan Follows.

I mean, they went to the trouble of giving her character so much backstory, and she had so much chemistry too with the guy (sorry, I've forgotten everyone's names) and for what? Are they playing with my sanity? They must have realized how the two-parter would have looked. Sometimes, there are pilots that don't work out even if they're presented as backdoor pilots (backdoor pilots have a higher chance of getting ordered to series) but no one ever talked about this being one. There's always talk if it's intended to be a backdoor pilot, because there's no reason to not talk about it. You need all the hype you can get. So, that wasn't a backdoor pilot but why make it seem like one? Ugh.

They set up the reveal of her husband's death so elegantly. And the flashbacks she has and everything are great.

I will never know how ranks work!

I would have loved a photo of a green-looking Constable Hudson. No way they couldn't do that. Come on, show!

Well, that's not obsessive at all. Obviously, at first I thought that no one knew about this case aside from maybe Joe, and Sarah would come back from Ontario ready to tear Charlie a new one for almost sending her to her death (which he'd already feel guilty about since he was the one to suggest it, yadda, yadda) and she would see the murderboard and be even more upset. Angst, right? I mean, how was I supposed to think that Charlie did not choose to hide this from her when he's so good at that? Or used to be, anyway. I should probably put these thoughts in the second episode of the two-parter, but despite what's shown here, Charlie has made steps towards being better.

The fact that they are setting up a plot here for the next case is a huge shock. Although, since this story is supposed to exist years before Rex appeared in Charlie's life, one would have expected for it to have been mentioned before now. It's supposed to be one of the reasons that drive him to work the way he does, all the "cases that haunt cops" storylines are.

Don't get me wrong, I've seen this time and time again, and have been sprung way bigger storylines in later seasons of other more popular crime shows. Crime shows are retcon galore. Some characters have suddenly appeared with murdered wives and children (looking at you, NCIS). But it doesn't make for a great show to keep springing facts to the audience way later, facts that could have helped with characters' depth in early seasons, where for an inexplicable reason, Charlie was supposed to be a very unburdened by his past guy, growing up in a stable family, which does not make for good tv. It often seemed as if he had become a cop yesterday in terms of how untouched by cases he seemed.

I'm a huge fan of cloud photography. I even have a clouds tag here on my tumblr.

Excellent boyfriend choice, Crystal.

I'd have left right then and there. She wants to be with guys that will get her in trouble? That's her problem, especially if she doesn't welcome Jesse's help to get her out of this. She's not a kid.

He did you a favor, Crystal.

If Sarah's sister appears, can she be like, a normal person who just wants to visit her sister? Because up until now, the rest of their siblings are a hot mess.

Okay, now that I watch it again, the woods were pretty close by, so why would they attempt to get an airplane that no one can fly?

Ah, so willfully ignorant. Like reports can't be falsified. It happens all the time. You're a detective. Detect.

To be continued in Part B.

[queruloustea]

Hey! This will eventually have a question after this prelude.

I did not know that things were happening with your health. I dont quite know how to approach a subject like this (forgive me for my almost-17-year-old woes and inexperience) but I will try.

Even if you cannot fully recover, we will still be here to see and bear witness to all of your wonderful art that you have/will post. I am still very happy to hear about your slow recovery regardless. Ive been surrounded by chronically ill/disabled people for practically my whole life (and consider myself as mentally disabled) so I get that life will KICK YA IN THE ASS yaknow? Always the kind of shit with ups and downs. Irregardless of what happens exactly, lets hope youre able to manage it well enough sooner than later!

Heres the question: What would you say are the music taste of these two ocs? It can be a vague genre vibe or even specific bands. Forgive me for not knowing their name, I have not used Tumblr in a good 2 months or so. I am simply OBSESSED with music and discovering it…and perhaps you can use this as an excuse to reccomend me some music! Perhaps I may even comment my opinions on the music if you GAF.

(Your OCs are giving real “Sea, Swallow Me” by the Cocteau Twins ft. Harold Budd btw. I dont quite know what it is but your ocs look like they admire the ocean. Considering you like the rain, this tracks!)

thankyou, my friend, that is incredibly sweet. granted that full recovery looks unlikely with the current expected diagnosis, this is very very comforting to hear!! life really does have a habit of kicking one in the ass well-bad, though. goodness :'] i'll just keep ambling on at my own pace for now, and see how getting medicine goes.

and also!!!! thankyou for the lovely question :]] i will assume you mean randall and maverick, since those are the two i've posted most about :] i've got some ideas about music tastes!

mav's probably the most musically-interested person - i figure he listens to a lot of the same genre he plays. that is, gentle folk-country-blues-man-on-a-guitar (/aff) type songs. in terms of Play Music (as an instrument-player myself i think this counts), he also writes a lot of love letters to both his hometown and his very very platonic buddypalfriend. i think he'd be really into that

randy? hm, not as into Music That Isn't Morning Birdsong, but a friend and i have figured he'd be more of a classical guy if he did listen. and, later, he bonds with mav's little sister over music, too, so probably gets most of his recommendations at that point from a feral eight-year-old with access to radio - so, i suppose, the short answer is a bizarre mix of classical music and. whatever aforementioned eight year old makes him listen to.

i might have to think a little more about specific recommendations (memory fog), but if i or my dear friend come up with any i'll see if i can remember to rebloggle!

thankyou so so much, this was such a delightful ask to receive and think about :] made my day

[burnin0akleaves]

Hey! Sorry for popping in as anon, I'm genuinely not sure if some of the things I'm going to say are going to be nice, and I am a coward. But this is regarding you quitting to post in the RA fandom. If you consider my opinion on this as unwanted/unnecessary, do not feel obliged to reply. (Though I honestly think you never feel like that anyway)

I first saw your art when I joined the RA tag a while ago, and I thought to myself: 'Huh. Nice art, not my cup of tea though.' Since then, you have changed my mind. Your obsession with TRR Will and repeated posting about it not only has changed my thoughts on your art (I've really grown to like it) but also on the character of Will himself. I was on Reddit during that massive TRR Will hate phase and some of these posts had really tainted my view. You changed that and I am so grateful for that. Not seeing your art anymore will be sad, but I suppose my own lack of interaction is to blame for that. I made my bed so now I sleep in it. Your reaction to stop posting is justified and understandable, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss seeing your TRR Will on my dash.

Who knows what the RA movie (if it ever does come out) will do to this fandom, but I hope that new faces might get things swinging enough again for you to rejoin the fandom. Lastly, I have to say that for me, you've been a legend in this fandom, and will continue to be one, even if you focus on other things from now on.

Well hello there, this was unexpected. First of all thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write to me! The reception to that post has been overwhelmingly positive even though it hasn't been up for that long and it makes me feel very glad I finally pushed myself to write that official goodbye message.

I don't know who you are and I don't really have any guesses, your message implies you didn't interact with my posts a lot so maybe I saw you around only a few times (?), but you have no idea how much this means to me. Throughout most of my time in the fandom my main goal was always to change people's minds about TRR and more specifically, TRR Will. I've heard that I succeeded many times and honestly, that was one of the biggest reasons I could keep myself so pumped up about a book series I read all the way back when I was in middle school (<- an adult saying this)

Seeing people go from "Cool post, not my thing though." to "Well I can kind of see what you mean when you say it like that." to "I agree, this does sound pretty good!" was both my biggest source of pride and motivator here. Hearing you say I changed your mind just now has the same effect on me, it almost makes me want to rush to my computer to draw or write about Will.

Also, extremely bold of you to say you didn't like my art at first motherfucker /j

Speaking seriously though, my art style practically grew here. When I first joined the fandom I was NOT good; hell, I can't look past anything before July of last year still. Maybe it was just me improving artistically that helped you warm up to my stuff more. I really really hope the new artists have that kind of experience too! You get obsessed with a little guy and then your brain decides to level up as fast as possible. TRR Will is that little guy for me.

Your last words are so, so kind. The way you speak about me here in general is extremely kind. I'm glad I was able to leave a good impression. And you're right, maybe all I need is a break and when I come back this space will feel more fitting again.

Like I said, I still have lots of connections to this fandom via others. I'm still technically helping out with the Gathering stuff, so maybe I'll work on doing a prompt or two still! I'm also a mod in the NSFW server and I love that place, I'm not leaving it anytime soon. If more TRR books come out you can bet I won't be able to shut up about them anyway, if I don't make at least one post then assume I'm dead.

What I'm trying to say is, I'll be around! Our paths will cross again.

PS: The entirety of the RA subreddit can suck my dick. I'm gatekeeping older, experienced Will from all of them. None of them deserve him.

[triviareads]

ARC Review of Charlotte and the Seductive Spymaster by Grace Callaway

Rating: 4.5/5 Heat Level: 4/5 Publication Date: January 11th

Premise:

Lady Charlotte Fayne is outwardly a respectable widow of the ton, and secretly the founder of a society of lady detectives. Her latest mission unearths a deadly plot by anarchists, as well as the shocking reveal that her late husband is not only alive, but also investigating the same group. 

My review:

This is the BEST second-chance historical romance with estranged spouses that I've ever read; The anger and resentment is REAL between Charlie and Sebastian— of course there’s gonna be hella beef when a hero is caught with his "mistress", refuses to deny it, fakes his own death, and emerges twelve years later and is caught out because he can’t handle his not!widow kissing another guy so he throws a rock at them. But what’s equally real is this all-encompassing attraction (obsession even) that never dimmed between them, even after twelve years apart. 

In the previous books in Lady Charlotte’s Society of Angels series, Charlie is seen as this level-headed, elegant lady… so obviously, this means in her book she’s very much NOT. She’s haunted by her husband’s betrayal and supposed death even as she completely fails to move on with other men (and believe me, Francis Devlin tries lolol). She’s also in the position where her friends and fellow investigators are getting married and having kids all while she feels like the odd one out. That being said, she’s still the classy, hyper-competent investigator we’ve all known to come and love. 

Sebastian is a smooth, equally hyper-competent spy, and is down just as bad for Charlie as he was twelve years prior, except he knows he’s in the doghouse after the whole faked-death thing. I did have to laugh at Seb’s wistful thinking early on about what would have happened if they weren't separated, something along the lines of "we were horny before, but who KNOWS what kind of kinky fucks we could have become if we had more time together :( ". And his secrets don’t end with his faked death either; there’s more to Sebastian’s past that he slowly starts to reveal while he tries to regain Charlie’s trust and it was really heart-wrenching to read how he grapples with his need to protect Charlie and his own internalized shame. And all of this is happening while the two of them work together to thwart an anarchist organization in the lead-up to the Great Exhibition. 

I liked how Grace wrote Charlie and Sebastian’s path to reconciliation: sure, the attraction, respect, and even the love between them never really went away, but it's the hurt and lack of trust that keeps them apart juuuust enough for most of the story so they keep doing dumb stuff like agreeing to a no-strings FWB relationship. It’s also this lack of trust that leads Charlie to assume the worst about Sebastian based on some questionable third-party sources.

Speaking of which, I appreciate that this book establishes that abusive and coercive sexual relationships and grooming comes in many forms and that boys and men can absolutely be victims in a way a lot of other historical romances don't, or skirt around. There are plenty of HR heroes I've read who blithely describe having sex with much older women when they're little more than boys, and a lot of times it's glossed over and we move on, but I am very glad this book was not one of them.

The sex:

Classic Grace Callaway sex scenes, which means it’s hot and heavy, the hero usually professes wanting to eat the heroine out 24/7, there’s generally one sex act that’s never been done before in Callaway-verse and no it’s not him eating ass (which has happened before, and happens here— good on them), and someone might say “gamahuche” but that’s alright and you move on. Charlie and Sebastian have this super hot give-and-take, almost-goading dynamic where they each give as good as they’ve got and there’s a decent chance arguments might end with sex. They also do that thing in second chance romances that I love where they know EXACTLY what the other person likes and they aren’t afraid to use it on (against?) them. 

I feel like the Lady Charlotte series has been a little more sex-toy forward (see: Pippa and Cull and ye olde sex swing), so it feels inevitable there would be a scene where Charlie shows Sebastian exactly how she pleasured herself for the twelve years he was away, namely, with a collection of dildos. I’d say that was the hottest scene in the book, but it’s also tied with The Time They Do Things With Meringue And A Butter Boat. 

There is also scene where she employs a riding crop on him (in public! After some sexy shadow puppetry!), and while the crop itself wasn't used that much, it DID serve a purpose, and if that purpose is Charlie utterly failing to edge Sebastian as punishment for not telling the truth and accidentally getting him off sooner than she wanted, then so be it. 

Overall:

I adore Grace Callaway and this book hit all the points I wanted from a second-chance romance with a married couple: it had the romance, the tension and angst, and you immediately feel that despite their estrangement, Charlie and Sebastian know each other better than anyone else and in that sense, they truly belong together. I would absolutely recommend this to any historical romance reader, though I do suggest starting from the beginning of the Lady Charlotte series. 

Thank you to Grace Callaway and her team for the ARC in exchange for my review.

[devcted]

'daphne doesn't seem like my type' is a sentence she's never thought she'd hear but it's not that she doesn't believe him because she does, she's just pleasantly surprised. regulus seems like the type of guy who could have anyone he wanted, who could be in any kind of relationship with any girl or as many girls as he wants but instead he seems like the type of guy who is careful with who he loves, he knows his worth and doesn't just sleep with anyone he feels like. "an heir, that's a little medieval even for the 70s isn't it?" she giggles softly. "kids shouldn't be used as products, you should have kids because you love the person you're having them with, because you're excited to be a parent and raise your beautiful children to be wonderful people...not because she's a rich girl." bee understands why he wouldn't want anything to do with it.

regulus was the most enchanting person she'd ever seen. green eyes like a large forest and a smile that could light up villages so maybe it shouldn't surprise her when he tells her that he doesn't even need a wand of course he doesn't...and it makes her smile a little as she shakes her head. "maybe I should've gussed someone as powerful as you didn't need his own wand. still, I'm pretty sure I could take you if I wanted..." her tone is suggestive, a sly smile on her lips as if shes implying something which in a way she is. "I can too, apparently....It seems that I am one of few witches left that have ancient magic abilities. though I can't control it and it's more of a accidently blowing things up sort of thing because I can't control it yet...I'm still pretty sure I can take you if you were such a bad boy." she teases almost playfully as her green eyes flicker towards his lips. "I'll go with you to get your new wand tomorrow if you want? get a head start?"

"well maybe I think you're the special one...a guy as pretty as you? I'm sure anyone would want to help." he seems like the type of guy worth saving, anyone who wouldn't was just a fucking fool. "plus like I said those rocks were important to me growing up so to me it was kind of fate, you know? like I was supposed to know you...and to find you." she smiles warmly. they say soulmates come to you in strange ways who would've believed hers was a prince from 1979...or at least she would like him to be.

regulus goes on to tell her what he wanted to be, his dreams before they were shit on by selfish parents. it warms her heart imagining a baby regulus walking around with a little book in his hands, telling everyone he wanted to be a dragonlogist and she can't help but feel more connected to him than she's ever felt before. a smile tugs at the corners of her lips, blue eyes looking at him. "you should've been there for the triwizard torment two years ago...my brother went up against a swedish short-snout and harry potter was almost set ablaze by hungarian horntail. the whole thing felt kind of cruel in a way but...it was pretty cool to see them." she takes his hand a bit, a gentle smile on her lips. "you're a powerful wizard regulus, I'm sure you'd make a wonderful dragonlogist. they could use someone with a big and beautiful heart protecting them...and if you want you can have my copy of the book, I've read it like a million times."

she giggles a bit, smirking softly at his words as he says when full name. "whatever you say your highness." she teases softly, biting down on her lower lip. he was so perfect that it was almost unfair and annoying. cause how could one look like him or be as sweet as him and not have a damn thing wrong with him...even if he did you wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise, she's obsessed with him, she's never felt like this around anyone before.

"playing house? so you get to be the daddy while I'm the mommy?" bexley bites down on her lower lip, humming softly with a purr. "I kind of like the sound of it actually, being your wife, cooking your meals and taking care of you...having kids of our very own and when I have my bad days you can hold me in your arms and take care of me too." she smirks, maybe she's playing a little too deeply into the fantasy now, of course they only just met and according to regulus his standards were high. "would you be a good husband to me?"

the air feels thick between them, her heart was racing so fast and loud that she worried he might even hear it and think she's insane. but the way he feeds her with the fork and looks at her like that makes her need him even more. "and what kind of host would I be if I didn't help you release that stress?" she says teasingly but her confidence only lasts for a moment because his thumb brushed against her lower lip, wiping away the left over syrup and she can feel her breath hitch a bit as he takes it back to his own mouth, sucking the sweet taste off his finger as his eyes look into hers. she can feel the heat growing between her legs, feeling soaked as he brings his thumb back to her lip, taking the syrup against his finger again.

she wraps her mouth around his finger, looking up at him as she sucks off the sugar, cleaning it from his thumb before pulling off as she licks away the rest from her lips. "I can't wait to release stress together...but you should probably get a shower, you kind of smell like dirt." bee teases with a chuckle as she stands up, holding a hand out for him. "come on."

she even looks beautiful when she’s sad, like a pretty flower wilting because it needs more sunshine. he doesn’t think she should be worried about daphne greengrass (whoever that was) and he definitely doesn’t think she deserves to be dwelling on the death she witnessed. especially not if it was from a basilisk; even meeting its gaze indirectly caused petrification, so there’s nothing she could have done. not unless she was strong enough to destroy a basilisk with a blindfold, in only her second year of schooling. it speaks to her kind heart that she still agonizes over it, though. “daphne doesn’t sound like my type,” he shrugs, unimpressed. “which my mother hated, because i’m supposed to like rich girls with good looks… how else would she get an heir?” regulus wanted to give her one, in a way. he wanted a family, more than anything, and he dreamed of being a father some day. but he could never bring himself to be interested in the girls she suggested, wishing he had a clear head to find someone he himself actually liked.

it turns out that he didn’t get that clear head until he died and then came back. but he knows it’s better late than never, especially because he was given the gift of meeting bee. he tries to imagine never witnessing so much beauty and hates even the thought of it.

he smiles because she’s right, in a way— assuming he could be dangerous to anyone when naked in the middle of the forest is a little self absorbed. or it would be, if he was anyone else. “i don’t need a wand to do magic,” he says, smirking. “are you not entranced?” he asks jokingly, waving a hand. “but no, seriously, i don’t need one. i do need to buy a new one before the term starts, though.” he frowns, still feeling the loss of the magical tool. his fingers had itched for his wand the moment he came to, but there was nothing but him and the forest surrounding. “and i guess i need to talk to dumbledore about what happened, and coming back…” he’s sure there’s some kind of intel he can give him in exchange, if the horcrux stunt wasn’t proof enough that he’s cut ties with voldemort.

his green eyes move back to her, drinking her in as she speaks. he loves her pretty pink lips and her soft, sweet sounding voice. he wonders what she sounds like when she’s being pleasured, and if she gets loud. the thought comes unbidden, making him swallow. “most people wouldn’t care about someone in the woods… or at least, not that much.” he’s sure most wizards would sooner get out of there as soon as they saw dark symbols on the rocks. “you’re special.”

she asks what he wants to be when he grows up and he shouldn’t be surprised at this point, by the way she so easily coaxes him to bear his soul to her. he thinks back on when he was little and sirius had left out a book from school, one with all the different species of dragons in it. regulus was only ten, so he believed all the stories sirius told about dragons at hogwarts, looking forward to being able to see them and learn everything there was to know about them. that’s when he first learned about dragonologists; wizards who specialized in them. he brought the book around everywhere with him, up until walburga saw it and threw it away (which made sirius angry, since it was a library book).

he sighs, looking thoughtful. “i was ten years old when sirius was in his first year, and he brought home this book from the library called ‘A Guide to Dragons’.. i stole it from him and carried it around telling everyone about how i was going to be a dragonologist one day…” he frowns before continuing, “and then our mother tossed it.” he doesn’t want to leave it on that note, so he keeps going. “did you know common welsh greens mate for life and they each have distinct songs? they work so hard to avoid humans that poachers have to put in extra effort to capture any of them.” he smiles to himself. “you probably did, because newt writes about them. but they’re one of my favorites… sweet creatures, if you don’t pursue them.”

bee tells him he deserves better than what he got and he falls quiet, hoping she’s right. he’ll do anything to make up for what he did, at the very least. but his body goes warm again, completely fuzzy because of the way she looks at him, saying she wants to be the one to always care for him. he’s struck by the word ‘always’, like a promise that she really wants him. “well, i demand more of it,” he hums quietly. “my name means ‘prince’, so you have to do what i say, bexley.” he likes being taken care of by her… having her under his thumb almost, like she’s his and he’s hers. he knows he’s already projecting his fantasy onto the situaiton, which tells him how serious this crush really is.

she doesn’t seem to get it, pointing out he hasn’t even tasted her food yet. “yes, but i’m into it,” he explains, smiling with a hint of amusement. “having you cook for me, like we’re playing house…” like she’s his beautiful wife, who he could have in whichever way he wanted. he temporarily forgets about her family, getting lost in his fantasy about the two of them. he pictures her wearing nothing but an apron, making him feel lightheaded. he’s tried not to notice too much yet (at least not openly), but she has an amazing body.

it makes him hornier that she’s watching him eat, her eyes on him as he licks the fork. when he offers it to her, he’s not sure if she’ll accept it, but she does, still staring at him as he sees her tongue slip against the spot he’d just licked. to make matters worse, she licks her finger too, making his pants uncomfortably tight. she tells him how she’ll set up his room and it’ll be just them, but she’s biting down on her lip as if her words have a double meaning. “we could have some fun together… release some sress,” he agrees, voice low. he could be talking about anything, but he reaches out, using his thumb to wipe syrup from her lower lip. bringing it to his own mouth, he slips it against his tongue, watching her with steady green eyes as he licks it off. then he uses the same finger to wipe her top lip, getting another sticky part.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Heartache

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Soldat!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, captivity, torture, brainwashing, delusional Bucky.

Words: 2535.

Summary: You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

P.S. I have to say it turned out darker than I expected. Attention! Bucky is free from his programming, but he does not heal as he should. 

__________________

“You look old.”

You decide to give him the pleasure of hearing your voice. It sounds dull from behind the glass when Bucky comes closer, looking at someone he recognizes too well, but you do not recognize a man he became, nothing reminding you of the one with whom you once shared your bed.

You know what the man looking at you through the glass thinks. You didn’t age a day since the last time he saw you, and while he knows why, it still surprises him to see a young woman watching him calmly as if all those years didn't pass.

“You miss your star.” You say, tilting your head to the side and narrowing your eyes at him when you see his new vibranium arm.

“It doesn't matter.” His answer is immediate, and Bucky isn't surprised to hear the raw anger in his own voice: he is no longer the Soldier you knew, and he is worried he won't find a way to interact with you. You don't seem too interested in Bucky Barnes and whoever he works for despite the fact you are hardly HYDRA's soldier yourself.

What he doesn't know is that you still stay the soldier you have been once, and nothing will ever change that regardless of whoever Bucky Barnes sends your way to cure you from HYDRA's conditioning.

"I'm glad you remember me."

You find it peculiar: a man who has been trying so hard to get rid of anything that ties him to the Winter Soldier has been looking for you for years, finally tracking you down, capturing you and bringing you here as if your pure existence didn't remind him of the worst years of his life. What did he expect to find? A comfort in someone who once had been paired with him just for the sake of research?

"Don't bother, Mr. Barnes. There's nothing there left for you."

You see he's taken aback because you have hit a nerve. Apparently, James Buchanan Barnes thought the connection between the two of you remained the same, and he could dig up the feelings that had long been buried. Stupid, you think, he's forgetting the most important part: he is not the man you formed the bond with. You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

It doesn't matter. After all those years you didn't believe in happy endings, and even if the man watching you through the glass think he is going to get one after getting out, he is clearly deluding himself.

Averting his eyes, Bucky clears his throat and changes the topic, trying to give himself a false hope he can mend things. “I will convince Shuri to treat you. She helped me break through the conditioning, and she will do the same to you."

You could raise your brow at him, but maintaining this facade is tiresome and doesn't make sense. "I see you have no idea how much my conditioning differs from yours. You can't break through it. It's embedded in me."

"I thought so, but I got rid of mine. You can do it too, I'm sure."

Although you see him trying to assure you, Bucky's getting agitated because he really has no idea what HYDRA did to you. He couldn't know it when he still was the Soldier, but now the lack of his knowledge leads you to the thought your former masters destroyed whatever info they still kept - they foresaw he would search for you.

"Your brainwashing was flimsy. I've always wondered how come you were considered HYDRA'S greatest assassin when you just needed to see your dear friend once to start getting your memories back." You snort, knowing Bucky would feel a slight hint of jealousy in your voice, but you don't care: you've never hid from him you only needed the Winter Soldier, and he was gone.

Bucky doesn't know what to say as a part of him wants to scream there was nothing flimsy about electroconvulsive therapy he went through over and over again, but he looks at you and sees how different you are from him, having no memories of your own, not knowing even your name or the place where you came from. It doesn't scare him, but the fact you had long merged with the Soldier you've become does. You don't separate yourself from her the way he did. In fact, the Soldier had completely absorbed your true persona, and Bucky doesn’t know the real you. He only knows RED, a Soldat who at one point was been created by HYDRA just like all of them were. Despite searching for the information about your past for years, he found nothing, not even the year when you became a part of the organization. Bucky doesn’t think you did it willingly judging by the fact how you reacted when he had been training you among the other Soldiers, but he can’t be sure.

You’re a ghost. None of the masters who had been giving you orders know anything about you except your specialization and things you can do. Bucky supposes there were once people who knew the truth, but all of them are probably dead since the ones he has captured were utterly useless. His only hope is Shuri who might bring whatever is left somewhere deep inside your mind to the surface, yet he isn’t sure she will take you: the more you talk, the more it becomes clear you will not ask her to do it willingly, and Shuri won’t like that. The redemption can only be granted to someone who asks and works for it.

You don’t seem the type.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks you quietly, his forehead almost touching the glass separating you two when Bucky watches you with that pathetic expression of his. “If I let you go, you will return to people you serve. If I bring you to police, you will end up in a lab in the hands of the government.”

You allow him to see your smile as you observe him, desperately hoping you will tell him you will come back to the good guys and stay with him, playing a role of his funny little girlfriend because Bucky Barnes cannot allow himself to form an adequate relationship with any woman who has not been tainted the way he was. It probably seems so tragic to him that he had to spent years trying to catch you.

Although the chair you’re bound to doesn’t let you stand and come over to him, you still lean closer to the window, wearing the same polite but welcoming smile you used to lure your targets closer to you.

“I want you back in that chair, going through the whole process of brainwashing again until you become the Soldat you’ve been. I want you standing with me and feeling as much pain as I did until your sensitivity goes down to zero, and you no longer remember those funny friends of yours. I know you won’t trade your freedom and whatever else you have after getting out, but I don’t need James Buchanan Barnes or White Wolf or whoever you have become. I am RED of HYDRA, and I have bonded with the Winter Soldier you buried, Bucky.”

When he leaves, the massive metal door getting locked ten times the least, you stare at the grey wall beside the glass. You wonder how getting the privilege of remembering his past made him so miserable, a pathetic, broken man who did not understand how lucky he had been, not only breaking free from HYDRA’s grip but gaining his true identity back. He probably pitied himself, poor little boy who had been broken by the big bad guys. He did not understand that all other soldiers who came after him, except the suicide squad made with Stark’s serum, had been turned into ashes. There was nothing left to break in them - and you either.

_______________________

Shuri wasn’t happy to hear your story just like he thought, but Bucky couldn’t lie to her, hoping she would understand. Of course, she didn’t, telling him outright it was impossible to treat somebody who didn’t want to be treated. While it was also inhuman, forcing you to do something against your will just like HYDRA has been doing all these years, it also erased the possibility to use the same methods she chose when she treated Bucky.

“You don’t understand,” she tells him, shaking her head, “it’s not that I don’t want to help, but without her cooperating it’s close to impossible. They didn’t use the same ways to program her just like they did to you.”

He isn’t satisfied with her answer even though he knows Shuri wants to help. He can’t leave it like that, leave you to your fate, return you where you belonged, and he keeps asking who or what may be able to help you until she finally tells him something about electrical stimulation of the brain that can awake memories that you have buried. Shuri immediately regrets it, seeing how Bucky’s face lights up.

“It is a very complicated process that requires an extensive medical knowledge. Worse, even if performed correctly, this technique can traumatize her even further. Please don’t do this. We don’t even know if this method will be effective.”

Bucky doesn’t promise her anything, though a part of him feels guilty he made her tell him this. He just has to do it: undoubtedly, HYDRA or whoever you work for now will force you to go through the brainwashing process again, and whatever treatment Shuri told him about can’t be worse than this. If Bucky does everything right, you might stand a chance to live like he does, away from the horrors of the war you had been a part of ever since the organization abducted you. Even if you don’t want it, clearly it is an effect of the memory suppressing machine: any sane human being wants to have a normal life, right?

It takes him months to find and steal the equipment he needs, leaving no traces - it reminds him of the days when he had been under HYDRA’s control, but he does what he has to. Learning how to use the machine is a much more complicated task, but Bucky is grateful for that serum-enhanced brain of his: he nearly swallows the information from the books in record time, reading about sending a burst of electrical energy into your cerebral cortex to stimulate your brain and finally retrieve your memories. Now he knows what Shuri meant by traumatizing, but this doesn’t stop him either. He does what he has to do.

“What is your name?” He repeats after listening to your screams for ten or maybe twenty minutes, your body going limp in the black, cold chair when you open your mouth, breathing heavily, your face stained with tears and sweat.

“Dolores.” You say immediately, knowing he will repeat the procedure if you keep silent, your heat beating wildly. “I grew up... on a small farm in Iowa... I had an older sister... and slept with a big teddy bear with a red ribbon...”

“You are lying.” He says simply, and a jolt of electricity cuts through your head, nearly electrocuting you while you scream again and again.

For some reason he always feels it when you say what he wants to hear instead of the truth. What he doesn’t understand is that the truth he wants has been told months ago: you did not remember and you were not going to remember anything from your past. It was stupid to try. There was nothing left of you, and while he thought he was resurrecting a human in you, he was simply destroying your body that was regenerating every night after the therapy.

When you receive a new jolt, shaking and screaming, tears streaming down your face until they fall down onto your already wet t-shirt, you whisper through gritted teeth, “Either I will have you as my Soldat, or I will not have you at all.”

Bucky presses the button.

__________________________

When he is finished he takes you to a bath in the room next to your cell. You almost lose the ability to move for an hour or two, giving him time to prepare you: Bucky undresses you and slowly lowers your body in the tub filled with warm water, watching that you take a comfortable position and don’t slip, effectively suffocating. Today he had almost gone too far, risking to fry your brain: you still refused to give up even after two months of therapy you have gone through, and Bucky isn’t too happy.

Pouring a strawberry-scented shampoo on his palm, Bucky starts to carefully wash your hair that grew longer in the months of captivity, watching that neither shampoo nor the foam gets in your eyes. You are nearly breathless: the serum they gave you made you less stronger than him, but your regeneration abilities are on a whole different level, and soon your body will adjust and erase the damage made.

He asks himself whether keep using the machine makes sense since he didn’t make much progress, the programming still very much in you even after all those incredibly painful sessions. What if you were right from the start? What if there was nothing to remember, and all he could do was to leave you in the state you were in before he destroyed whatever was left of you?

No, he can’t do it. Leaving you means taking away your chance to ever get back to normal life, and he can’t force himself to do that.

Never in his life Bucky Barnes will admit letting you go meant never getting his own happy ending the way he wants it.

“Why reinventing the wheel when you can make it so much easier?” All of a sudden, your hoarse voice whimpers in his ear when you look at him, tiredly moving your head up. “Do what they’ve always done. Use the programming to give me an order.”

A part of him is shocked with the revelation: he wanted to be neither the Soldier nor the one giving him commands. But the other part makes him realize how much easier it would be if he just used what has already been done to you instead of relying on an obviously ineffective method that damaged your mind and body. Of course, he has nothing in common with Karpov sending him on the assassination missions. Bucky only wants you to learn how to become human again, free you from HYDRA once and for all, give you the life you undoubtedly wanted. Even if he uses the same method the organization did until he finds a better way to undo the programming, it is still for your own good.

___________

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[dangermousie]

Heelo mousie! Love your blog! Do you mind recommending some of your favourite Chinese BL novels or shows?

I've seen the untamed and read it. I'm currently reading heaven's official blessing and I saw the donghua. Anything other than these two?

Awww, thank you!

Novels: I am gonna be lazy and literally copy/paste the entire danmei section of my top 10 web novels post (except MXTX’s stuff since you are already reading it.) Let me know if you need help finding any of these.

Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor   antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both  as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men   always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be  friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest  parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is  also finding the middle path between their two very different  philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or  dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and  setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period  setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with  character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our   protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant,   sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s  servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as  we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and  occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named   Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers  and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both  out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely  likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two  take up farming, get involved in  the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

The Wife is First - OK, this one did not make my top 10 web novels but it’s a sweet, fun gay cottagecore fest. Our ML, a royal prince, and his spouse, a smart if delicate aristocrat, keep house, eat noodles, play with their pet tiger, make out and spoil each other rotten, while occasionally fighting battles and outwitting their court enemies. It’s so very mellow. That couple redefines low drama - they are both nice and functional and use their brains. It’s as if a nice jock and a nice nerd got together and then proceeded to be wholesome all over the place.

I mean, the set up could be dramatic - our ML the prince, lost his fight for the throne and is about to be killed. The only person who stayed loyal to him is his arranged husband the aristocrat guy who ML never treated nicely since he resented marrying him (marrying a man in that world is done to remove someone from the ability to inherit the throne.) And yet the husband stood by him not out of love but beliefs in loyalty blah blah. Anyway, he transmigrates back into the past right after their wedding night and is all “I got a second chance OMG! I don’t want the throne what is even the point? I want to live a good long life and treat the only person who stood by me really well!” And he proceeds to do so to the shock of the aristocrat who had a very unpleasant wedding night and generally can tell the man he just married would rather eat nails than be married to him. But soon enough (no seriously, it’s not many chapters at all) he believes the prince is sincere blah blah and then  they get together and they pretty much become cottagecore goals.

In terms of dramas, I only do period dramas (or novels) so I am not the person to be able to recommend any modern BLs. There is a flood of upcoming (hopefully) period BL dramas but it’s relatively thin on the ground now. The two I will recommend is Word of Honor (which is AMAZING) and Winter Begonia (which I just started watching but which owns me already.) I have a tag for both - the one for the former is huge and I cannot recommend either strongly enough. I’ve heard good things about The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I am not big on mysteries so haven’t watched it for myself.

In terms of the upcoming BLs, the ones I am most looking forward to are Immortality and Winner Is King, but The Society of the Four Leaves also looks promising.

[welllpthisishappening]

Hello there, I see you're back on blue-line drabbles! I love them, I am obsessed with this universe. I don't know if I ever came back to say hi after I read all your big fics, but somehow I liked each even better than the last! I don't know how that's possible! But anyway, I think one of the best signs of a good writer/good story is when you're not ready to leave the world once you've finished, and Blue Line is one of the few fanfics I've read where even well after I've finished it, (cont)

(cont) I want to keep living in it and I end up writing my own fic of it in my head (strange, I know). Anyway, for whatever reason, I got really invested in Roland and Lizzie's relationship. Like, how did they end up dating after knowing each other for literally Lizzie's entire life? How did the adults react? Do you have any Lizzie/Roland stories up your sleeve? They would not go unread :)

————

Hello, yes, listen, this ask has lived rent free™ in my head since I first got it and I cannot properly convey how absolutely, goddamn wonderful it is. I am a broken record of outdated references , but it continues and will always amaze me that people are not only interested in Blue Line (more than three years!!! after I originally started posting) but are also interested in other characters in the story who are, for all intents and purposes, original characters at this point. Like the overall size my heart becomes when reading something like that could potentially cause a serious medical condition.

But, like, in a nice way.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. It genuinely warms the cockles of my entire soul. And, like, if you wanna share those fic ideas of the fic, you’ll never hear me say no. Just like I will never turn down the opportunity to write more stuff. Which is what’s under the cut. This stuff includes:

Roland and Lizzie’s first kiss, what I hope is some legitimate banter, more kissing, obvious flirting, and Roland being something of a sap.

Also, uh, it’s entirely possible that I have also already written: Roland and Lizzie’s first “I love you,” their wedding and some other stuff where their kid is involved. Seriously, guys, I am always down to write other relationships in this ‘verse.

————

It was, she figured, something almost passably close to, sort of resembling, definitely inching somewhere nearer to—

Assured. 

Unavoidable. 

Inexorable

Inevitable. 

That was a bad word. That last word. The third one was pretty impressive, honestly. Vocabulary, wise. She’d have to remember that one later. The last one, though. Made teeth Lizzie wasn’t even aware she possessed ache as she ground them together, a pronounced tension in her jaw that was likely affecting her shoulders as well. That word. An awful word. Boasted less-than-positive connotations, letters practically dripping with lack of self-control and overtly aggressive infatuation, but if the world expected her not to be a little in love with Roland Locksley by the time she turned fourteen and noticed that slight indentation in his right cheek every time he smiled, well, then the world had another thing coming. 

Dimple, that was the appropriate description. Another word. More words. Too many words. All of them bouncing off the slope of her skull and scratching at the back of her brain, nearly distracting her from what should have been the very pleasant buzz lingering beneath whatever biological thing made up her top and bottom lips. 

Which were parted in an emotion very similar to overwhelming surprise. 

That was stupid. 

The whole thing was stupid. God, maybe she was stupid. No, that wasn’t true. She’d made Dean’s List last semester. Stupid was—

A stupid word, really. Despite the blush rising in her cheeks and the wide eyes practically boring into her soul, bated breath that didn’t make any noise because that was what bated entailed, and no one else glanced in their direction. Not once. No one else noticed. 

That the whole world had flipped upside down.

Or right-side-up, maybe. Depending on how the next five minutes or so went. 

Because the last two minutes and twelve seconds, give or take, had seen Roland Locksley tilt his head and let his eyes flutter closed before his mouth found hers for the very first time — at midnight for God’s sake. On New Year’s Eve. Or New Year’s Day, she supposed. His parents were standing on the other side of the room.

Suggesting that Lizzie had ever been just a little in love with Roland was a rather monumental lie. 

As far as those things went. 

“So, uh—” she started, only to find blood in her mouth. From her teeth. Wayward and unpredictable, as they were. Biting down on the side of her tongue and Lizzie hated going to the dentist. Doing irreparable damage to her teeth on what was now legitimately New Year’s Day, in the middle of an annual party, was not on her schedule. 

Metaphorical as it might have been. 

She liked schedules. Had plans. Focus, even. People always said that about her — how focused she was, liked to throw around the word drive with startling regularity, as if they were amazed she wasn’t simply willing to rest on her laurels or the pair of last names she proudly toted around with her. As if Lizzie expected doors to swing open on a glance. 

Rather than consistently preparing herself to knock them down. 

She liked the challenge of it all. Appreciated the way disbelief always spiked something in her blood, and that was likely equal parts genetic predisposition and a product of her childhood, but right now, Lizzie was simply prepared to fight for the schedule she’d never allowed herself to mention to anyone else before and it wasn’t like they weren’t friends. 

Talked outside the group chat, even. 

That meant something. Definitely meant something. Had to mean something. Her lips felt like they’d been doused in liquid nitrogen. 

She didn’t know all the scientific properties of liquid nitrogen, but it always made that rather impressive cloud of steam-type stuff on cooking shows. So, it seemed very likely that it did something similar to cause whatever was happening in the region directly surrounding her mouth. Buzzing and tingling, and whatnot. 

When had Roland last blinked? Lizzie couldn’t remember. That would have been impressive in any other situation. Right now, it was sort, kind of, totally— Pissing her off. 

Color dotted his cheeks, no sign of the goddamn dimple because he wasn’t smiling, presumably couldn’t do that when it was clear he was so intent on pulling his lips into his mouth, and that felt a little insulting. Her tongue had just been in that mouth. 

Lizzie was fairly confident in the abilities of her tongue, so she wasn’t all that pleased to be replaced by a pair of lips that could have been doing much better work against the side of her neck. 

“If you sit here right now and tell me that you are,” Lizzie lifted a finger, “one, sorry,” another finger, “two, anything even remotely resembling regretful,” another finger, wiggling close enough to Roland’s nose to make him just a bit cross-eyed, “or, three, too old for me, I will throw my heel at that bruise I know exists on the back of your left calf.”

His lips twitched. 

He really had impossible eyelashes. Seemingly made so he could glance up from underneath them, to meet Lizzie’s steely expression with what she refused to believe could be cautious hope. Passable optimism, maybe. She’d have to look up what liquid nitrogen did, later. 

“I’m standing.” “I hate you.”

“You wanna go in order, or how do you want to work this?” “Where else are you bruised?” Roland laughed softly, a shift of his shoulders and tiny burst of air between barely parted lips. Feeling that tiny burst meant they were standing very close to each other. How they were standing remained another mystery. 

One of those great ones, Lizzie figured. The kind referenced when people talked about the sweeping potential of life and love and— Ah, fuck. 

“Please don’t threaten to attack me anywhere else,” he muttered, before quickly adding, “you gotta know this was not my end game, Liza.” Narrowing her eyes did nothing to temper the…tempest. Swirling in her gut. Threatening the back of her throat. Eating away at vocal cords and vocal boxes and the structural integrity of her entire goddamn larynx. Possibly her tongue, too, just to be especially efficient. 

“Really? Might’a been mine, actually.”

She’d always liked his eyes. 

How they could widen, and it wasn’t like...a normal brown. Nothing about the way he looked was ever dull. Drifted toward regularly excited, and the sparkles were probably a figment of her over-active teenage imagination, but Lizzie liked to think sometimes the sparkle came from her. Because of her, even. When she’d call because he always wanted to hear about her latest lecture and he’d call because sometimes Western swings were exhausting and loneliness-inducing and—

She knew. 

He knew. 

They knew each other.   

Grand scheme, the sparkle-prone eyes still weren’t particularly close to the dimple. On the list of things Lizzie liked. What left butterflies fluttering in her stomach and her heart hammering against her chest. Sparkle was probably a solid fourth. Behind the precise way his curls fell toward his eyebrows when he didn’t have time to get his hair cut. Which rarely happened during the season. Right now, it was happening right now. Well-defined strands that Lizzie knew felt even smoother than she’d ever theorized between her fingers, and she wasn’t sure what she was going to do with that information. 

Obsess over it, probably. 

For at least the next week, or so. 

Still. Eyes. Eyelashes. Too long and too bright, and that was the wrong description order and she was starting to teeter. On the edge of a rather dramatic free-fall. Into feelings and possibility, and this was way too dramatic. For both of them. 

“Don’t do that,” she mumbled, a scrunch of her nose that apparently demanded his thumb. Brushing against the bridge, and there wasn’t any caution there. No obvious fear or concern. For the way it left Lizzie’s lungs pinched, and there must have been a limit. 

To everything her internal organs could cope with in a limited span of time. 

“What was the last one on the list?” She swallowed. “Too old.” “Yuh-huh.” “Pretty flimsy as far as excuses go. You realize I’m not asking you to marry me right now, right?” He choked. On what, she wasn’t entirely sure. Only that it made her stomach heave and her teeth dig into her lower lip, and that was— “Because I know I said, end game,” Lizzie continued, giving in to the need to fill empty space with the sound of her own voice, “but that sounds like several pop culture references all at once, and you know how much I—”

“Hate to come across as disingenuous.” “Mattie’s the pop culture reference machine, anyway.” “Please don’t talk about Matt when I keep thinking about how much I want to kiss you again.” Her eyes, that time. Widened. Bugged. Did something unnatural. “Yeah?” “You’re kidding me, right?” “You’re not an old man.” Rolling his eyes, Roland’s tongue dragged across the front of his teeth. To torture her, apparently. “I was in college when you were a freshman in high school.” “Yuh-huh.” “Liza.” “Nah, nah,” Lizzie shook her head. Crossed her arms. Tried to stand up to her full height, but even the heels didn’t do much to add to the overall intimidation factor. Roland was doing an awful job of fighting off his smile. “Pulling out ancient nicknames is not—” “—It’s not a nickname; it’s literally letters in your name.” “Nick,” she leaned forward, “name. All personal-like.”

Making mistakes was not something she enjoyed very much. It was that Jones competitive streak. Plus, the Vankald stubborn streak. Created a monster of determination, who knew what she wanted, and feeling Roland’s fingers graze her cheek as a strand of hair hung limply in the minimal space between them was the result of Lizzie’s mistaken movement. 

Even as much as she might have wanted it. 

Goosebumps prickled her arms. Stole whatever oxygen she’d managed to get in the last forty-six seconds, or so. Her eyes fluttered. Head tilted. Towards the touch and the warmth, and for someone who spent so much time on the ice, he really was impossibly warm. 

“This is your fault.”

He didn’t move his fingers. Cupped her cheek, instead. “You were doing that eyebrow thing.” “Expand on that for me.” “Lifting ‘em. Happens sometimes. When you’re listening intently. Like you’re a little amazed by new information. They’re these stupid little arches on your face. Drives me nuts.” “The compliment was in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.” “I am so much older than you, Liza.” “Shouldn’t’a played out a bunch of teenage daydreams at once, then.” She was legitimately worried about the state of his tongue. Barely biting back her laugh, Lizzie let her eyes lift. To find Roland gaping at her, drooped shoulders and puppy-dog eyes. And that goddamn dimple. “C’mon, this isn’t...do you think I haven’t made out with people before?” “Wouldn’t classify what we just did as a makeout.” “No?” His eyes darkened. Shivering was probably not a good move, right? Right. Definitely. She wasn’t shivering. It was just...January. And inside. With dozens of people around them. “I would not, no,” Roland said, and the drop in overall volume was some sort of trick. Or, something. 

“How many people do you think you’ve made out with? Ballpark it for me.” “No.” “Is the issue a lack of appropriate numbers to tally that mark, or—” She bit her tongue, again. At the flash of amused frustration sweeping his face and polluting the molecules of whatever air was hovering between them. Permeating was a better word. Lizzie really needed to work on all of that. Words. Being slightly less jealous of potential make outs that didn’t have anything to do with her and definitely happened because there had to be other people out there in the world who simply could not cope with the existence of that dimple. 

“How many people have you made out with, then?” “Scores,” Lizzie snarled, only to get immediately scoffed at. “I’m really, incredibly popular.” “Oh, I’ve got no doubt.” “Boatloads of guys. Lining up to,” she pointed an imperious finger at her mouth, “make out with this.” “Your well-defined chin?” “I’m going to take my shoe off.” “Draw attention with a move like that.” Whatever fight she had didn’t immediately die. It just, sort of, fell. At her feet, threatening all the bones there and there were too many. All of them far too fragile. For whatever metaphor she was running with at the moment. “And we’re not trying to do that, huh? Draw attention.” “Shouldn’t you be out sowing wild oats?” “Really know how to charm a girl,” she grumbled, and that got her a smile. No scoff. Not even the hint of a smile. The whiplash was hurting her neck. “Trust me, the oats have appropriately sowed. If I was ever particularly inclined to farm work.” “I’m starting to be vaguely embarrassed by all of this.” “Good.” Wasn’t quite a scoff. Was more like a half-hearted laugh, and a tinge of desire and that was better than the other emotions, but the decreasing level of Roland’s eyebrows gave her pause. “What about the status of your oats?”

“Well sowed, rookie season,” Roland said. 

“You’re going to change the name on your jersey.” “Not sure that particular fact has a lot to do with anything else. Seven years, Liza.” “I’m perfectly capable of doing math, you know I took that stats class once.” “Because I double checked everything you turned in.” “Makes you slightly less of an idiot than the vibe you're giving off right now.” “A freeway or compliments.” Pulling in a deep inhale through her nose, Lizzie didn’t miss the way Roland’s gaze fell. To the neckline of her dress, lingering on the jut of her collarbones for a few seconds longer than a strictly platonic friendship should allow, and they were friends. Still. She knew that as well as she knew that he believed she thought he was simply being clever with nicknames. 

And not making vaguely incorrect My Fair Lady references. 

Because he’d always been a little annoyed that Eliza had gone back to Henry Higgins. Instead of Freddie.

It was really impossible not to be a little in love with him at all times. 

“You’re really going to hyphenate?” Roland nodded. “Think of all the new jerseys they’ll sell.” “By the box-load, and Gina’s gonna buy the entire stock. She’s—that’s really nice, you know.” “Just a fact. Little late, but—” He shrugged. Lizzie’s smile threatened to split her face. In that same nice way, she’d been talking about. Her lips were still buzzing. She might have been buzzing. With adrenaline. Happiness. The near-desperate desire to find some type of closet and get her fingers back in Roland’s questionably long hair. 

“Of naming conventions.” She couldn’t begin to guess what the record was for shoulder shifts in an emotionally charged conversation between two people who were simultaneously ignoring the point of the conversation, but Lizzie also knew her eyebrows had been halfway up her face as he’d detailed the reasons for making his jersey say Mills-Locksley. From here on out. 

Maybe that was the top of the list, actually. 

He was a good guy. 

Had always been a good guy. The best guy, really. 

Falling into that chasm wasn’t nearly as terrifying as Lizzie expected it to be. 

“Why’d you do it?” Roland’s lips disappeared. His tongue moved, again. She was staring at the area around his tongue. So, like, his mouth. Directly at his mouth. “Because, I uh—have wanted to?” “Oh, don’t phrase that like a question.” “Wanted to,” he repeated, a statement of fact with a certain amount of conviction. Enough to make Lizzie’s pulse sputter. “Which is kind of freaking me out.” “Come back with more compliments.” “Your dress nearly made me fall over.” “Better, actually,” she laughed. 

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Made sense at the time.” “Be more specific.” “Kissing you,” Roland said, enough emphasis that he leaned forward half an inch as well. It was a miracle their noses didn’t collide. Not the most impressive miracle, but—counted. “If I tell you that you might be my best friend does that make the lamest professional hockey player alive?” “Yes, absolutely.” “Matt might challenge you to a duel if he hears me talking like this, you know.” “God, Locksley, didn’t we just talk about the Mattie rules? Also, that made it sound like Mattie wants to kiss you too, so...”

He chuckled. Fingers still tugging on the back of his hair, like he was trying to ground himself in the pull and the self-inflicted tension, Roland looked up. Back at her. And Lizzie didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Held her position and prepared herself to defend the schedule she’d only ever allowed herself to hope for in the silence of that one corner in her brain. 

Filled, as it was, with memories. Of conversations that didn’t have anything to do with hockey. Others that did. Arguing over blue line placement in the brownstone and college rankings. Of movies watched on two different laptops in different corners of the country, bad jokes, and consistent updates, that deep-rooted understanding that came from a life full of expectations and the exact opposite. No overt pressure, but the need to prove yourself anyway, if only because of the name on the back of the jersey, and Lizzie was going to have to buy a new jersey. 

“You like me? Yes, or no?” Roland smiled. Wide and honest, the kind that ensured the dimple was on prominent display. “Yes.” “I am a grown adult? Yes, or no?” Crinkles appeared around his eyes. From the smile. 

“Yes.” “Meaning I get to make my own choices. Romantically, or otherwise. Yes, or no?” “Obviously.” “Wasn’t one of the options.” “Yes,” Roland corrected, fingers trailing over the bend of her elbow. Lizzie hadn’t uncrossed her arms. Or remembered when she’d crossed them in the first place. 

“Ok, good. Same page, then.” “Liza.” “Locksley.” Lifting her eyebrows wasn’t a challenge, per se. Was closer to instinct, really. Specifics didn’t matter, honestly. She did that thing with her eyebrows, and he did that thing with his mouth, the same one she was staring at and hoping would move closer to her, and then—

Well, it did. 

Hands found Lizzie’s hips, pulling her forward sharply enough that she let out a soft grunt. From the feel of hips bumping against hers, and she honestly wasn’t sure who hissed in their next inhale, only that it did something to the flutter-like state of her pulse and the erratic nature of her heart, and it was slow and fast and good and great and not a single person noticed. 

Miracles were arriving en masse, apparently. 

Pushing her fingers into Roland’s hair got Lizzie another hum of approval, the first brush of his tongue making her lips part and her head fall to the side, but then his hand was wrapped around the back of her neck, and she could not be expected to pay attention to anything except the semi-consistent swipe of his thumb against her skin. It left more goosebumps. Caused another chuckle, the kind that rumbled through her and resonated around her, a tiny bubble of that same cautious optimism from before. 

Like a spark. 

Fanning flames and threatening to burn everything because if this didn’t work, then Lizzie wasn’t sure what would, and that was scary and overwhelming and terrifying was a synonym, but she really was working with very limited word-based resources when Roland’s thumb kept moving. Tracing her. Committing the feel to memory, and she wasn’t sure when they’d established the rocking pattern they were moving in, but something deep in the center of her trusted it. 

Someone who regularly strapped knives to his feet and raced around at top speed knew how to stay balanced. And she was a stubborn idiot. Who got what she wanted. 

“Is part of liking me because I told you I didn’t think it was embarrassing that you still got a little emotional about Miracle on 34th Street?” Laughter pushed past her lips. Took root in the pit of her stomach and the spaces between her ribs. Laced through her heart. In the kind of way that cemented itself. Right in the middle of Lizzie. Right in the middle of this. Them. 

There was a them, now. 

“Was definitely a factor, yeah,” Roland said, not bothering to pull away. “You, uh—you snuck up on me a little, Liza.” “Peak romance.” “Want me to talk about your dress some more?” She shook her head. “Unnecessary. And you didn’t.” “That might be part of the problem.” “Nursing old crushes, you mean?” Her hair hit her cheek. And his hand. He couldn’t seem to let go of her. “Nah, this wasn’t like...there was no torch, not really. I—I wasn’t hanging posters of you on my wall if that’s the picture you’ve painted for yourself.” “Kinda disappointing, admittedly.” “Pick a lane, babe.” No sparkle, that time. Just flash and want and the very thin line Lizzie’s lips had become. “Be more specific,” Roland repeated softly. “You’re not standing on a pedestal. Just you, Rol, as is.” He waited. That was fair. There should have been more. Should have been a detailed list of all the reasons the grown-up version of her liked so many parts of the grown-up version of him, but that all felt a little extraneous when she was still thinking about closet-type possibilities and that stubborn streak was a mile wide, anyway. 

Roland nodded once. “Good.”

Both of them jumped. At the pop of another champagne bottle and Lizzie never understood how Regina managed to order so much champagne every year, but she felt a bit like she was floating on the bubbles, and they didn’t decide. Explicitly. To keep the whole thing—

Secret. 

Another bad word. With bad connotations and shadows that clung to the definition, but this was them and only them and, for right now, that was enough. And if no one noticed the way Roland’s hand drifted over the small of Lizzie’s back during David’s speech, then that was a miracle she was willing to accept. 

[thatwriterkei]

-Moment of Tangency-

Series Summary: When Y/N's favorite fictional characters come to life, a mystery ensues as a killer wreaks havoc in Bangor, Maine.

~

Chapter Summary: What started out as a sleepover with your best friend turned into a night of unexplainable events.

Warnings: cursing, underage pining if you squint, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Here's the first chapter of the big series I was talking about! I really hope you guys enjoy this, I've been working on this for about a month and it would mean the world to me if you have feedback and brought attention to this to those who would enjoy it too! I'm really excited to see how this goes.

~

Main Masterlist

MOT Masterlist

click here to be part of my taglist

_________________

Chapter One: The Beginning

"You will soon receive support from an unexpected source.." 

The red letters of your fortune stared back at you ominously.

"Hey, that's great timing huh?"

"Too soon, Marcus..Too soon."

A sheepish smile formed on his freckled face, "Sorry..Here, have another."

You shook your head, waving away the cookie. "I'll just stick to mine. I only have a little bit of room left for it." 

You took small bites, slowly indulging in the delicious treat, afraid of letting it go to waste with just two or three bites.

"I'm surprised your dad let me spend the night."

"Honestly, me too..I don't think he noticed that you're in the middle of transitioning."

"He probably just thinks I'm gay or something.."

You let out a choked laugh, "Maybe because you are."

"Hey, you can't tell me that Mr. Fisher isn't hot as fuck!"

"He isn't, oh my god!" You tried to finish the rest of your cookie without inhaling crumbs, suppressing the laughter building in your stomach.

"Have you seen his hands?! Y/N, I don't think you understand how much I adore him!"

"He's 20, Marcus!! Not to mention, he sucks at teaching physics."

"Hey, I didn't say my future man had to be smart."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yes, yes I am. Oh! Speaking of guys, any good gossip for the ship of a century?"

You could help but roll your eyes at his teasing, blood rushing to the apples of your cheeks.

"Kolby and I haven't spoken since last week. I don't think he likes me anyway. He's been talking to Heather more recently.." 

And, for some reason, you weren't too interested in him either. Yes, he was a nice looking, athletic guy but you just didn't care enough to go further than a 'hi, how're you?' with him.

"Well, his loss. You're a wonderful girl and it's a shame he's wasting your time with his boyish nonsense. Besides, he doesn't even wear watches like Mr. Fisher."

"I swear to god, if you mention him or watches one more time.."

"You're right, sorry," he held up his hands defensively before putting them down, "I just don't wanna see you get hurt, Y/N/N.."

"I know you're worried, Marcus, but I'm fine. It's our junior year, I don't think long-term relationships are supposed to happen for us until we're in like college."

"You never know..Anyway, what do you even see in him?"

You let out a sigh, sinking in the mounds of pillows and blankets that are laid astray on your bed.

"Umm..He's cute, without a doubt. His jokes are sometimes funny, depends on who he's around. He has a nice sense of style, I guess? I don't know..We've only known each other for a little over two months."

Marcus laid beside you, rolling to his side with a dopey grin plastered on his pale face. "And a lot could happen in two more months if you just talk to him. I promise, I won't even bother you in Algebra..Okay? Just trust me on this.."

You groaned but, nevertheless, agreed with a silent nod.

"Love shouldn't be this complicated.."

"Sometimes it is, sweetie..But only time can lead you to where you're supposed to be.."

"Yeah, I know...Since when did you become my therapist?" You let out a scoff.

"Since third grade! Now, c'mon, get off your lazy ass and let's do something cool!" 

He pulled at your limp arm once he stood up, dragging you to the floor and down the hallway towards the mini library your stepmom installed about a year ago; who has yet to use it.

"If you were looking for 'cool', you brought us to the wrong place." 

Your eyes scanned over the bookshelves, catching titles of famous works.

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Great Gatsby

War and Peace

Charlotte's Web

"You only have that perception because you hate her."

"Of course! Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, but this is still cool! You should take advantage of it while you can." 

Marcus released his hold from your ankle, scampering over to the section of the library where a red and white book was gleaming for attention.

"Oh my god! Miranda got the newest edition of IT?"

You stood up abruptly and made your way over. "She got what?!" 

"Holy shit, this is amazing! We haven't fangirled over this book since freshmen year."

"Oh yeah, our biggest obsession since One Direction." You laughed, taking the book out of his hands and running your finger over the textured title.

"Not gonna lie, the older cover looked better."

You rolled your eyes and ushered him over to the desk in the middle of the room. "Wait, let's see if they kept in that one part.."

"Which one? Does it have to do with Stanley? You had a major crush on his fictional ass." He teased, pulling up another chair beside yours.

"No no no, the one with Eddie and-Oh, I found it!"

Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds…but he had sort of liked it, too. It was something….like a secret name. A secret identity. A way to be people that had nothing to do with their parents’ fears, hopes, constant demands. Richie couldn’t do his beloved Voices for shit, but maybe he did know how important it was to creeps like them to sometimes be different people.

"Oh, I absolutely love this part..It's just, mwah, beautiful. Stephen King certainly knew what he was doing.."

"C'mon, let's go back to my room and reminisce." You took his arm and pulled him back to your bedroom.

~

You internally screamed at Marcus's onslaught recollection of memories.

"Oh, and that one time when you had a major attraction for-"

"Okay okay, that's enough reminiscing!!" You tossed the book at him.

"Aww, what? Feelin' embarrassed, sweetie?" He barely dodged the book, letting it bounce off your bed and onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Shut up.." You grabbed the nearest pillow and slightly smothered yourself with it.

The memories he continued to bring up brought back some nostalgia but looking back at it now made you cringe. You were practically grown up now, not 15 years old. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. But wouldn't it be cool if the losers club was real? Like actually around, in real life? Derry was based off of Bangor so it's more than likely you could find your own Stanley Uris." 

You cracked a smile at that and threw the pillow at him, situating yourself underneath the covers of your bed. "Yeah, yeah. I wish."

Marcus promptly pulled out his phone and checked the time, turning it over towards you  and flashing the bright light in your face. "Well, it's almost 11:11..Make a wish!"

"Seriously?" You deadpanned.

"C'mon, it wouldn't hurt!"

You sighed, sitting up on your elbows and closing your eyes. "Tell me when. You wish it too, okay?"

"Okay," some time passed, "now."

I wish the losers club was real..The entire gang. Every single one of them.

I wish I could blow Bill Denbrough.

You opened your eyes after you recited your wish a couple of times, sighing. You raised an eyebrow at Marcus, seeing him struggle to contain his laughter though the crimson red covering every inch of his face gave it away.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wished that I could blow Bill."

"Goddamnit, Marc."

~

It took about a half hour before the two of you could fully relax into a deep sleep but once you guys did, Marcus took up most of the bed. 

A heavy gush of wind pushed open your window, the cool air from outside blowing into your room. You snuggled a little more under the covers, face being buried into someone's back. They smelled so nice, a light hazelnut scent and freshly washed hair that reminded you of late night drives with your older cousin when you were younger; Just absolute nostalgia exuded from them. You felt your entire body relax against theirs, the warmth overtaking your slightly exposed skin from the nippy air coming through the window.

You hear a quiet groan from the opposite side of you, the noise causing you to stir from whatever you were dreaming about prior; It was a bit fuzzy.

"What the fuck? Dumbass window.." It was just Marcus.

You felt the weight from the bed disappear, his dull footsteps moving around the carpeted room as he shuts the window.

He turns around and gives one look over the room, his eyes partially open. He sees a couple of people in the room, the sight confusing him in his drowsy state.

"What the..?"

A mix of someone screaming bloody murder and a smoke alarm going off floods the room, echoing off the walls and throughout the house. Even Marcus wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors heard him too.

It takes just a few seconds before your sleeping mind can process the screeching, thus causing you to flip over to your other side and turning on the lamp. Your eyes are piercing with annoyance, though you were still a little concerned about your astonished friend across the room.

"Marc, what the hell?! What's wrong? What happened?"

You cast a glance around your room, trying to pick the oddball out.

"What the hell?!" You hear from behind you, the sudden noise alarming you and making you jump off the bed towards the ground. 

Your head whipped around so quickly you were sure it was the dizziness that made your imagination run wild from the sight. There laid a guy, around your age, with very curly light brown hair that just looked absolutely divine to twirl your fingers around.

Underneath you comes a strangled groan, almost upon impact. Looking below, you find a girl with fiery red hair in a bob style. You push yourself off of her and scoot away until your back hits Marcus's legs.

"Who the fuck is yelling-Oh, holy shit..!" You hear another slightly deep voice exclaim. 

Turning to your right sat five other guys with drastically different appearances, one after another coming to the realization that they had no fucking clue where they were.

The room grew quiet, fear growing in your eyes as you try to find a person to focus on but the thought only made you even more dizzy than before.

_________________

Let me know if you wanna be tagged for future chapters!! 💖

-Moment of Tangency- tags: @beauregard-s @demoniclust @deepestofwaters @grapesauze @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @soulwillower @19tozier @phrogtheguitarist @kindofokayimagines @stenbrozier @stenbrozier @brxken-heartsclub @fucking-greywater @theliterarymess

[shinahbee]

November Favorites 2020!

 Hello!

So as you may have seen I have been uploading a bunch of art all of November, not every week because of my crippling job at the moment taking away my sanity.lol. But i did try my best to update whenever I can. I do have so much more to complete so please look out this December for more digital art being pumped out

How are you all doing?  I'm holding up decently, I'm trying to avoid talking about covid since that's all i've been hearing from work and home and it's really making me anxious since i'm not able to work from home due to the nature of my job. I hope you all are holding up hope and taking care of your selves, let's all remember that there is a time after this and we will get through this.

with that being said I will have a lot more time to spend on my art after January since my work term is going to end and I don't plan to stay for an extension, so maybe then I'll catch up on all of my previous art that I was supposed to upload, a.k.a my hero academia ones.lol

also I'm still chugging along reading more manhwa (web toons ) from korean and chinese artists, i'm so disappointed in myself for not discovering these sooner, these stories are really good and so much effort was put into the art panels, as I have said all I've read was manga so i'm used to just seeing black and white panels, so i never really dove into web toons though I have appreciated the work put into it, now that I'm down the rabbit hole I am discovering really good story lines that are different from the manga I've read thus far and I'm really enjoying it!

so i'm excited to share my thoughts on everything I've been liking

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                           Manhwa/Manga/Webtoon

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so previously in last months recommendations I have talked about a few of the manhwa I've been reading so I'll briefly list those below since they are all still ongoing

1) who's baby is it

2) to be or no to be

3) social temperature

4) salad days

all of them are still ongoing and i'm still in the process of reading them so I can't give a full review till it's completed but so far I am still enjoying them, that's definitely a good sign since i tend to just drop something after I don''t find it interesting anymore at some point in the story. If you have not read my October favorites journal please do so for my initial thoughts on these manhwas. Now i'm actually going to talk about some of the ones that are completed   , so you can definitely read all of them without waiting for the an update from translators, lol

this is in no particular order, just fyi

1) Path to you

"When almost college dropout Jensen attempts to drink away his problems, unemployed Nathaniel( Neil ) suddenly pukes on him and ruins his night. As an apology, Nathaniel offers to help Jensen with his studies. Despite Jensen's difficulties in getting along with people, the two become friends and something deeper begins to grow between them...”

this is the summary from one of the manga websites I was able to find, it does not even describes the emotional plot line that goes along with this later, this is ones of my absolute favorites! I love this manhwa so much, its a great depiction of a coming of age story for collage students going through their life journey and slowly getting though life's difficulties  and challenges, one character is going though emotional trauma and trying to over come it for years and another character is going through anti social disorder and discovering his sexuality, it's a plot line that portrayed human aspects in life quite well. I love the relationship between the two main character and how their relationship developed over time from being friends to being a couple. there is a lot of relationship building and minimal drama, which is really refreshing from mangas that I've read, so if you are just starting to delve into BL webtoons, please read this first! you will not be disappointed

with that being said, I love Neil, so much.... you don't even know. lol. He's so precious, literally like an actual cinnamon roll. LOL. i'm exposing myself ...so i'll leave it at that, i’m also wondering why his name is neil instead of nathan or nate...? lol.

2) Here U Are

"Orientation of  the newcomers is a task for YuYang, and he ends up helping the unsociable and towering LiHuan, the kind of person that does everything to be disliked. But after better knowing each other, he discovers that the giant isn’t that bad of a person at all...”

I really wish I could find better summaries, lol. but it's to the point without giving away too much so i'll take it. This is one of the most popular series and I can totally see why after reading it, this story has every possible human aspect and relationship building  between the two main leads, I actually teared in some parts of this manhwa and I've never done that before! such a good story and plot line, if I were to pick any series in a web toon to be animated then I would choose this series hands down. There's also sub plots between different characters as well and how they deal with their interpersonal relationships and relationships between the two main leads, I love it! This is everything I want in a story, so please check this one out

also yuyang looks a lot like miyuki Kazuya from Daiya no ace and that just made me drawn to him.I really liked his personality and in the manhwa he has girls and guys in love with him and dude...I get it.

3) BJ Alex

"Every night at 10, Dong-gyun locks himself up in his room, grabs a box of tissues, and watches a live cam boy show hosted by Alex, a BJ (broadcast jockey). Timid Dong-gyun admires not only Alex’s ripped body, but his candor in sharing his sexual experiences with viewers. One night, Dong-gyun downs too many drinks at a school networking event and passes out. When he wakes up, he’s in bed staring up at a shirtless hunk. A hunk who looks an awful lot like...Alex.”

so um...this is more yaoi than shounen ai cause of all the graphic scenes in the manhwa, if you are veteran you may have already read this one cause its really popular. It also has a lot of comedic elements to it too so it's not too serious, but the relationship developed between the two characters later on is really sweet despite the infinite amount of sex scenes. Not much else to say about this story, it's easy to follow and the only abuse in here is the emotional kind

I'm not really entirely sure how i felt about it in the beginning but the end is really good

4) No way, vampires don't exist

"Four college housemates — Juwon, Eunho, Seongjae, and Gyumin — are in desperate need of a fifth person to fill a vacant room in their place. But their main concern isn’t about paying rent: they’re ravenous vampires, dying to sink their teeth into a fresh, live human! So they can’t believe their luck when Dongha, who grew up isolated from society, eagerly moves in with no idea of what awaits him. To the vampires’ dismay, however, Dongha doesn’t weigh enough for them to suck his blood! As they shower their unsuspecting new housemate with food and attention to fatten him up, have they gotten too attached to their would-be prey? And is there more to sweet, naive Dongha than meets the hungry vampires’ eyes?”

I have to preface by saying that ever since my twilight phase, I didn't consume anything that had to do with vampires for a very long time, for obvious reasons, but this one I just came across after reading path to you and thought I would at least check it out. It started off really comedic and I was like...what am i reading?  but it gets really light hearted and wholesome later on in the story. What I like about this is the character juwon, If you look at him he's that type of character that would look like the stoic a-hole of the story and those characters never appeal to me. But turns out he's the sweetest person most decent person of this story, it makes you want to route for him  and another thing I like about this story is that it looks like a harem but you can tell that there’s only one person the main character doungha treats differently from the rest and how the two are compatible with one another.  in these kind of stories, it’s always treated as every character is a possible route that leads to their own story but in here....there's only one...let's be real. This is one that is an odd ball cause it's technically completed but the translations are not...so i had to read the rest in korean, which makes it a good practice for me since i'm learning korean at the moment, it’s a good exercise...lol

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                             Anime/ Drama

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Not going to lie this department is lacking...lol. I have only been watching Heavens official blessing as mentioned in the last journal

but I have just found out that there is a remake of Shaman king in the making....and my little girl heart is screaming cause I loved shaman king when i was younger...so I can't wait for that

as for dramas, I've tried watching Start Up but I didn't like it so I dropped it, I might try watching crash landing on you since my best friend was obsessed with it, I watched a little of it but I left it since I was busy so i may get back to watching it from the beginning

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                             Music

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i'll put together a play list for you when you read these manga/manhwa...lol. cause that's what i've been doing

Playlist

Crush- No words

Sam kim - Breathe

Crush - let us go

Kim feel - falling

Paul kim - Dream

Kim feel - Hallelujah

Davichi - please don't cry

Yoo mirae - say

taeyeon - a poem called you

baek yerin- Here I am again

I wish tumblr has a way to play music on your page, without copy right..lol. I would share all of these songs cause they are so good

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so that's it for the month of November, lets' see what i get up to for December, I will be updating as frequently as possible so please look out for more art from me and follow me on my social media , I will see you all next time

bye!

Sheena

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     Social media      

Devianatart: she-be.deviantart.com

Instagram: shinb_art

Tumblr: shinahbee

[rogerstoast]

Garage Band//Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

warnings: fluff ig, really simple and cute

AN: I wrote this a long ass time ago and never revised it so apologies in advance for errors.

You were in your second year at Imperial College, and struggling to get through your second set of finals this year. Only three more exams to get through and you could finally say hello to summer.

The fact that you have been sitting at your desk studying for the last six hours, didn't help with stress either. No matter how much you studied, you just couldn't seem to grasp any bit of information from the papers in front of you.

Figuring it was going on six, and you have been sitting in an old wooden chair since noon, a well deserved break was needed. Capping your pen, you got up, stretched, grabbed your jacket and headed out of your dorm for a walk.

As you were walking down the streets of London, subtle music began to play in the distance. It wasn't half bad either. Quite decent actually. The music grew louder and you noticed a few, small groups of people, mostly girls, were gathered on the driveway of the house.

You looked both ways before crossing the street to see what was going on. Once you reached the house, it was hard to get about considering so many students were crowding the lot. Squeezing through and shoving past all the bodies was a struggle, but you managed to get to the front and into the garage.

Just as expected, it was a band. Now that you're here, you remembered your friend telling you about them a few days ago. But you weren't expecting them to be this good. The group was made up of three uni students. A tall one with wavy dark hair playing the guitar, and another dark haired guy, a little shorter, playing the bass. They both were singing. Along with the fella who caught your eye instantly. He had blond, wavy hair and played the drums wonderfully. Never missing a beat, and harmonized with the group beautifully.

About two songs in, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"(Y/n)! What are you doing here?" It was your friend Lorali, the one who told you about  the band.

"Needed to get some fresh air after sitting at that desk for so long. Thought I'd see what was so special about this band you were telling me about" I told her.

"Well I'm glad you came! Wanna go get a drink with me? Bars inside."

Accepting the fact that it was a Friday night and you studied enough for the day, you gave into her offer.

"Sure thing!" Following Lorali to the door located behind the band, you figured you would steal another glance at the drummer, as you were about to past him. However, he seemed to have caught your glance just as they were finishing their song. You immediately looked away, and followed your friend through the door, as you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks.

"What are you blushing about," she asked you, noticing your obvious flushed complexion.

"Wh-what? Nothing. Just need a drink that's all."

"Oh please (y/n), what kinda twat do you think I am. Do you really think I didn't see you making heart eyes at the drummer a second ago?"

Damn it Lorali.

She could always see right through you.

"Oh shut up! Doesn't matter, it's obvious he's the womanizer of the group, what should it matter to me?" But before she could deny anything, I poured myself a shot of whisky and downed it as fast as I could. Feeling a wave of relief already, I gave her a look as if to say alright, go on.

"The night is still young, (y/n). Let's go back out there, they're almost done!

Following her back out to the garage, you noticed it had got darker outside, and string lights lit up the garage as students gathered around a fire pit on the driveway, smoking and dancing along to the music.

Lorali led you to the couch up front, and you took a seat right next to her, each with a beer in hand. Facing the band, they sang and rocked their hearts out to their closing song. You happened to really like it. Wether it was the subtle head bops, or the perfect rhythm he managed to keep, you couldn't keep your eyes off of the drummer. He played perfectly. The song then came to a faster, more rock n roll bit and the guitarist played a rif while blondie hit the drums harder and faster than before.

This time when he caught you staring at him, you didn't look away immediately right after. Same goes for him, giving you a wink and a cheeky smile. Doubting the possibility he could be looking at you, you turned your head around to see if the group of girls from earlier was behind you or something. Only to find them outside, and groups of guys behind you instead. When you turned around, he seemed to notice your disbelief, and subtly laughed to himself. You blushed and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed that you thought he wasn't gesturing towards you.

Drinking from your cup, they finished the song and ended it with harmonizing their voices and it sounded like the most spectacular thing you have ever heard before.

doooiinnn allllllrrrrrriiiggghhhhhtttt

The guitarist then spoke into the mic, "Thanks for coming out everybody, we really appreciate it!"

You sighed to yourself, that the live music was over for the night. But just as a record started playing from the corner of the room, you stood up for your spot on the couch, next to your friend. In need for a quick smoke, you informed her you were going to stand outside for a bit and warm up by the fire.

Noticing people have either left or gone to get their second round of drinks, you stood next to the fire pit, struggling to warm up. Pulling a pack and a lighter from your coat pocket, you were slightly disappointed to see that you were all out.

"Having a bit of trouble over there?" You heard a deep voice ask you from behind, causing you to turn around.

Crap. It's him. "Oh I uh, I uh, I'm all out, that's all," you awkwardly chuckle and look down.

"No worries," the drummer then pulls out a pack and offers you a cigarette.

You take it as your fingers lightly brush over his. "Thanks," you say, with a small smile.

You both light your cigarettes and you allow yourself to really let it sink in before taking a long breath out.

"I'm a, I'm Roger by the way," the drummer offered is hand out for you to shake

"(Y/n)," you reply, shaking his hand in return. 

"Wow, that's a nice name. How come I've never seen you around here before?" he asked.

You blush a little and turn to meet his eyes. Wow, you thought. It was the first time you saw his big blue eyes. Just as you were about to get lost in them, you remembered he asked you a question.

"Oh, I uh, I came with my friend. You guys were amazing by the way, should've come around sooner."

He chuckled and took a small step closer to me, "Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I've seen you around." his mention came off more as a question.

"Yeah, im a uni student. Second year actually, majoring in fashion design. What about you?" I asked him, bringing my cigarette back up to my lips.

"Dental student. Doesn't seem to be working out well. Hoping this band thing works out," he said, looking back at me.

"Ah I wouldn't worry about it, you guys were amazing," I reassured him with a smile, hoping I wasn't coming off too obsessive with all the compliments I was giving him.

But Roger loved how you would blush and gawk over the band. Although you never noticed him until this night, he has noticed you since the beginning of his second year at uni. He sat at the very back in a class you two shared with each other, but you never seemed to noticed he existed until today. Roger on the other hand, was the total opposite. He noticed you the first day, and couldn't get over how beautiful you were. The way you concentrated so hard in class to make sure you took all the right notes, and the way your tongue would poke out of your mouth when you were focused. Roger admired all of it. Everything about you. But, he never had the courage to talk to until tonight. It was almost as if he had been intimidated by your perfection, and it made him nervous, which is not in his nature. Being known as the womanizer and all. 

"If I don't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on the band," he brought up, trying to mess with you.

"Oh shut up!" you joked back, nudging his shoulder with yours, both of you lightly chuckling. It was only then when you realized how close you too actually were. Standing there, shoulder to shoulder.

You then realized your beer was empty when you went for another sip. Figuring you walked here, maybe it would be best to start heading back

"Well, i uh, I should get going I guess."

"Wait"

But just as you were about to walk away, Roger grabbed your hand to turn you around. Very quickly actually, resulting in your noses almost bumping each other as your faces grew closer all of a sudden. Neither of you said anything for a second, but just looked at each other. Both sets of eyes quickly looking down at each other's lips, then back at each other's eyes. Yet the awkward tension took over, making the moment suddenly uncomfortable.

"Let me get you another drink at least?" He offered.

You easily obliged with a simple, "okay," and a small smile.

He took your hand and led you through the garage past the bunch of people who were still there, and into the house to the kitchen.

While Roger went to the fridge to grab two beers, you hopped up and sat on the corner.

"So Rog, is this your house?" You asked curiously. 

He walked over to stand in front you, and handed you the can.

"Yeah, I've been rooming with Brian for a couple of months now."

You don't know why, but you felt so at ease around him. A sudden wave of confidence washed over you, causing the next question to come out of your mouth without a care in the world.

"I assume that means you have your own room then?"

Roger knew what you were intending with that question. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face as he walked closer to you, standing in between your legs.

"I suppose it does," he replied, your faces merely a few inches away from each other.

Roger placed a hand on your thigh, taking you  a bit by surprise. But you allowed it, and you couldn't help but feel more at ease because of it. The moment, it felt so right. But why? You barely knew him. You feel like you did, but you didn't.

"Hey (y/n)" Roger whispered, as our faces grew closer

"Yeah"

"I know you barely know me, but I need to be honest. Ever since I saw you the first day of uni, I thought you were absolutely stunning. I always sit at the back of class, and I can help but admire your perfection. It kills me, everyday when I see you."

This took you by surprise even more. That's why Roger looked familiar to you. But what he just confessed to you made your heart skip a beat, and cause butterflies to literally explode in your stomach. You were blushing uncontrollably and had a huge smile plastered on your face. Why? You didn't know. Even though you barely knew each other, everything felt as if it was meant to be happening.

"Roger, I-"

But before you could say anything, he leaned in and crashed his lips into yours. It was fast, but sweet and loving at first. You flung your arms around his neck, running your hand through his hair. He brought his other hand up to your cheek as the kiss became more heated. Both of you craved each other, need each other. Roger has been the missing thing in your life all along.

Roger then took his hands, slid them under your thighs, signaling for you to jump on him. Which you did, wrapping your legs around his torso as his hands made their way under your ass to hold you up. He then started kissing you down your neck, leaving love bites all over. The feeling completely melting your insides, you grabbed his face with both hands and connected your lips together yet again.

Before you knew it, Roger had already carried you upstairs. Your lips not letting go for even a single breath of air, the two of you pushed the door open, only for him to slam it shut with his foot, ready for night of his life.

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[oldladydatin]

The Craziest Thing

The weirdest thing happened to me Saturday night. I went to bed and I was happy. Not like that temporary happiness that you experience when you do something new and you're excited and you get that short burst of serotonin or dopamine or whatever neurotransmitters, this wasn’t from some novelty experience. I really felt content and happy. I went to bed alone, after a long hot bath, fell asleep watching a movie, with my puppy cuddled up on my feet with a smile on my face.

I saw my favorite band play, I met up with my favorite 3 concert buddies, but unlike other times we'd met up I hugged my boys and told them I missed them and split. I missed seeing them, but I was on a mission to get to the front and get Corey Taylor sweat on me, get spit on, a marriage proposal, something? I did NOT have time to hang out. I usually cling a bit to them like an injured bird. I'll wander off. I'll go pee, I'll get another drink, I'll look at the shirts, I'll sometimes start talking to a stranger but I always go find them or one of them always follows me, and we didn't really hang that night. In between bands I pushed my way as far forward as I could. I started talking to people around me, I was like 8 people from the front for Vol Beat. Then Slipknot came on. Everyone around me had become chatty in between bands, we made a pact not to let anyone through and we stuck to it. I had warned everyone I had come to fuck shit up and I was gonna incite some moshing. I think they thought I was joking. I'm like 5'2" on a good day, blonde, I was wearing my favorite rhinestone sandals like a total weirdo, I didn't look as rambunctious as I am. But I did. When Slipknot started I started pushing and got 4 from the front. I met up with my concert buddies, one in the pit and the other crowd surfed over my head. Broke my favorite sandals and my toe nail. Note to self: wear better mosh pit shoes for the next show. I got felt up by some random dude, at first I thought he was just being shoved into me, then he grabbed me hips and pulled me into him. Next thing I know he’s trying to shove his hand down my skirt and I couldn’t get away because we were packed in too tightly. I just kept pulling his hands off me and then the crowd would shove forward again. Finally there was space and I elbow that douche bag in the sternum about 4 times and while he was trying to catch his breath I shoved him into the pit that had just opened up, he was ill prepared. Because I’m not going to be anybody else’s play thing.

In the end I had to walk to my car barefoot and it had been raining so I was wet, and it was muddy and I think I stepped on glass. I ended up in some random shady neighborhood buying gas looking a little crazy because I had worn fishnets under my shorts, a ripped up tank top, and skeleton gloves that covered my forearms, and then I came home and cleaned up and climbed in bed happy.

What is so different? I've been considering this the past day.

I legitimately spent the last 2 years trying to make a man love me who was never going to love me. I'd like committed myself to this for some dumb reason, it's taken a long time to really clear my head and go what the fuck were you thinking? The last conversation we had he still couldn't be honest with me and I had to recognize and accept that this man was kind of a piece of shit and he really didn't care about other people and who needs someone like that in their life?

Prior to that I was married for 14 years trying to make some miserable man happy, when it was never going to happen and really it wasn't my job too make him happy in the first place. You can't make someone happy? Again wtf was I thinking? He put it in my head I couldn't make it on my own, that I was too dumb or too incompetent and I wasn't desirable as a women. More laughable moments.

Before being married, I went to slipknot shows and moshed. I did whatever fun and crazy reckless thing I wanted to, when I wanted to. It wasn't always my best decision making, but I was always 100% myself and I was almost always happy. I didn't think well if I do this or this thing this guy who I'm so desperate to make love me will disapprove. Because I didn't give a shit if a man loved me or not to be honest. The men who I loved let me be as free, wild and crazy as I was because they did spend the time getting to really know me, and they didn't ask for anything else, they loved me for me. Before I didn't have men in my life who were so insecure in themselves that they felt they needed to bring me down, they needed to insult me, or control me or hold me back. Those men are still very close friends. I still talk to my highschool sweet heart, and the guy I was with after him tells me he loves me once a week, or that he misses me. I never had to work that hard to earn their love, I just had to be me. That's all I've been the last few weeks, me. I've been doing some mixed media water colors, I've been writing poetry. I've hiked, I've went for walks in the rain, I've danced for no reason, I've obsessively researched things most people find strange. If it was a I wanna lay in bed and watch movies day, I did it. In essences I've been me with no concern about whose watching me or what would or wouldn't make someone else happy.

I posted a meme on my facebook that said "How to lose a man?? Just be a good woman, they hate that shit." I reposted it because I feel like this lately, but I've also put alot of effort into two miserable selfish men which was foolish of me. I said I'm only investing in myself and better toys from here on out. I don't know that that's a forever thing but it's definitely a for right now thing because I'm happy. Because this is how you’re supposed to feel. I look forward to more days like this one. 

[owlswithfins]

Fic idea/request: Ginsy + “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” I've recently fallen in love with Ginsy (and your writing), so when I saw you were taking fic requests, I couldn't resist requesting a short story about the two of them!

Oh, that’s so nice to hear! Hope ya like it!

Prompt #5: “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” (Read it on AO3)

Pansy Parkinson had a problem with Ginny Weasley. Not the kind in which she wanted to sell her out to the Dark Lord (contrary to popular belief, Pansy did not relish in such activities–the incident with Potter last year was a necessary evil). It wasn’t even the kind of problem that made her want to curse the Weaselette. No, this was the kind of problem in which Pansy wanted to kiss her, and hold her, and do naughty things to her in the Room of Requirement. In other words:

“Kill me, Draco,” Pansy said histrionically, swooning across the blond so her head rested in his lap. “I can’t take any more.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Pans, you’re acting like a Hufflepuff.” The potency of the jab was diminished by him running his hand through her hair. She hummed softly at the gesture, peeking through lidded eyes to see if anyone was looking. Thankfully, everyone seemed focused on the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match, so her eyes fell shut once more. While it was common practice for Slytherins to be affectionate with one another in private, it was quite another matter to do so in public. Even with their so-called “reformed” status since the war, some rules stayed in place.

“Is she scoring a goal?” Pansy asked, peeking through her eyelids again. A quick glance at the pitch gave her an affirmative. Pansy squealed and buried her head.

“How in Merlin’s name are you rationalizing this behavior?” Draco asked. Pansy knew from his tone that he was making his I-can’t-do-this-right-now face. It made him look like Lucius when he supervised their play dates as children. She didn’t mention this to Draco, however, because comparing him to his father was like asking to be jinxed.

“She looks like a phoenix,” Pansy said. “All that red hair and confidence, and that Slytherin smile she flashes after she throws the Quidditch ball–”

“Quaffle,” Draco interjected lazily.

“–through the hoops. And Draco, dear, must I remind you of your seven-year obsession with the Golden Boy?”

The Malfoy heir smirked. “Eight-year obsession. This last year it just happens to be requited.”

Pansy couldn’t deny that. The Slytherins had mocked Draco for years about his crush on Potter, but none of them ever thought anything would come of it. After Potter broke things off with Weasley, however, it just sort of…happened. As if it was fate or destiny or some other crap. Draco Ice-Prince-of-Slytherin Malfoy, and Harry Stupid-Scar-Tattoo Potter became Draco and Harry. And that was when Pansy’s problem began. Once Potter started hanging around with the Slytherins, Draco began dragging a seething Pansy to spend time with the bloody lions. To spend time with her.

At first, it was torture–as was to be expected when one was forced against their will to socialize with their inferiors. But then Pansy and Ginny started talking, and it was actually…really nice. Better than nice. Better than seven-inch-heels-and-a-latte nice.

…and then it was torture again because Pansy had gone and done the most cliche thing in the universe: she’d fallen for her straight friend. At least Draco had fallen for his enemy. That story had intensity and spunk written all over it. Meanwhile, Pansy had to go and become a tragic pining lesbian. It was unbecoming.

“Why don’t you just tell her and get it over with?” Blaise asked from beside them.

Pansy frowned up at Draco. “Has he been here the entire time?”

Draco shrugged. “I’ve only got eyes for Potter’s arse on that broom.” True to his words, his grey eyes tracked the Gryffindor Seeker more closely than they ever did the Snitch.

“Shameless, that one,” Blaise said, shaking his head.

Pansy groaned. “I can’t ask her out. If she liked me back, she’d do the Gryffindor thing and tell me herself. Since I haven’t received any confessions of love from the drop-dead gorgeous Quidditch witch yet, I’d say that’s out of the question.”

Blaise raised a brow. “You’ve never had trouble asking out people in the past.”

Pansy’s eyes rolled out of her face. “Yeah, well they’ve all been guys, and it’s hard to build up nerves when you don’t give a rat’s arse if they say no.”

A wicked smile crossed Blaise’s face. “That could be it, but I think something else is going on here.” He leaned in closer, and Pansy didn’t think she was going to like what he said next. “Pansy’s in love.”

Pansy’s jaw dropped. “Am not,” she said stubbornly, well aware of how childish she sounded.

“Are too,” Draco piped in.

Pansy huffed. “Just because I’m nervous about asking out Ginny Weasley does not mean I’m in love with her!” she shrieked. The students around her were staring, but she didn’t have time to tell them off. Her eyes snapped up almost unconsciously until she was looking directly into wide brown ones. Pansy’s blood went cold as she realized the Gryffindor Chaser was far nearer than she’d thought, and ohdearmerlinsheheard.

Blaise was snickering like this was the funniest thing to happen since the time they got Draco drunk enough to admit his feelings for Potter. Draco, on the other hand–her real friend–was petting her hair somberly. At least someone understood how dire this was.

“Fuck me,” Pansy breathed, still unable to comprehend what had just happened. Slytherins were supposed to keep their secrets buried. They were supposed to play it cool and only share their vulnerabilities with other snakes, if at all. They were not supposed to shout about their unrequited lo–crush–for the whole Quidditch pitch to hear–especially if that crush was a girl, and a Gryffindor at that. A Weasley, even.

Involuntarily, her eyes flicked up again to find Ginny gazing at her with an unreadable expression. Gryffindors weren’t supposed to be hard to read. They were supposed to be blustery and obnoxious and wear their hearts on their sleeves. Why oh why was tradition failing Pansy now, of all times?

Daphne appeared then, and Blaise stopped his snickering. They all knew the drill. Pansy and Draco’s sexualities were to be kept secret from anyone outside their trio (and Potter, for obvious reasons). Originally, Pansy and Draco had agreed it would just be between the two of them–they even served as each other’s beards for a few years–but Blaise had wiggled his way in. He’d agreed to keep their secret from the others, however, so instead of getting Obliviated, he joined their crew.

Daphne was not in the know. It wasn’t that they thought she’d be a bitch about it, but it was kind of a touchy subject since Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy had arranged for Draco to marry Daphne’s sister Astoria. Finding out he was gay wouldn’t exactly be reassuring.

“How’s the match going?” she asked.

Blaise shrugged. “Gryffindor’s beating them to a pulp, so I guess we’ll be playing them for the cup.”

Daphne wrinkled her nose like that meant something to her. Maybe it did. Pansy couldn’t understand everyone’s obsession with Quidditch. Well, she understood Draco’s–his obsession was relatable. Pansy tried to avoid Ginny as she watched the match–she was likely to give everything away if she made eye contact for even a second–but that mostly meant watching the Seekers (which was boring) so Pansy soon fell into a conversation with Daph about the latest gossip. Her own horror story would have to wait for later.

As they left the match, Blaise pointedly dragged Daphne ahead of them. Pansy wasn’t sure if it was to help her or because he was trying to get into Daphne’s pants, but she was grateful either way.

“Parkinson!” the voice she’d been dreading called out.

Draco locked eyes with Pansy to see if he should stay or not. When she shook her head minutely, he squeezed her hand once and trailed after the other Slytherins.

Inhale…

Exhale…

Inhale–

Pansy turned on her heel so she was facing the Gryffindor Chaser. Ginny was out of breath like she’d run right off the pitch to catch up with her. Pansy wanted to squeeze her eyes shut because the other girl was too much for her cold gay heart, but that would be incredibly immature, so she refrained. Ginny’s hair was in its Quidditch ponytail high on her head, and her skin glistened with sweat. Pansy’s breath caught in her chest. The flush on those freckled cheeks and the slight parting of those chapped lips seemed downright pornographic. How was it even legal to look that good after riding a stick through the air for an hour?

“Hi,” Ginny breathed.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Pansy said instead of offering a greeting.

Ginny quirked her head to the side. “I kinda figured.”

Pansy didn’t know what to say, but she was pretty sure her heart had jumped out of her chest and was doing a jig, so maybe that was response enough.

Ginny wore a bemused expression on her face like she was puzzling through something. It created a little furrow between her brows that Pansy thought she’d rather like to kiss. “I hated you for trying to turn in Harry, you know,” she said finally.

Pansy nodded, feeling the rejection in the air. “I hated me too.”

Ginny bit her lip. “And you treated everyone like garbage for years.”

“I did.”

“All that pureblood nonsense.”

“Yes.”

“And the bullying.”

“I’m a terrible person, Weasley, I get it,” Pansy grumbled, flicking her hair out of her face.

Ginny smiled–one of those bright and confident smiles that made Pansy feel like she was higher than a broom could take her (if she wasn’t deathly afraid of flying). The Gryffindor shook her head. “I don’t think you are. I think you were stuck on the wrong side of a terrible war and you did what you were taught–what you needed to do to survive.”

Pansy swallowed. “Weasley, the human brain can rationalize anything when it wants to. Don’t make excuses for me.”

Ginny shot her a crooked grin. “I’m not rationalizing for you. I’m rationalizing for me. I’ve got to come up with something to say to my friends when they ask me why I snogged you after the match.”

Pansy’s brows furrowed. She was prepared for rejection, but she wasn’t ready for whatever this was. “You didn’t snog me.”

Ginny raised her brows. “Well, now that I’ve done all this rationalizing, I suppose I’ve got to. You know, to make the effort worthwhile.”

Pansy’s eyes widened as she realized this wasn’t rejection at all. It was something a million times better. She glanced around to see if they were alone (they weren’t) but Ginny had already pressed her lips against Pansy’s, and suddenly Pansy had better things to think about than who could see them. In fact, she rather liked the idea of not thinking at all.

Ginny’s lips were soft but insistent, and her tongue set Pansy on fire. As Pansy’s hands wrapped around the taller girl’s neck, she tasted salt and strawberry chapstick. Ginny’s hands found Pansy’s hips and pulled her tight against her. Pansy thought she might just die, but she didn’t know what they’d do with her afterward since even heaven couldn’t beat this.

They finally broke away, breathless and close enough to each other that Pansy could see tiny freckles hidden between the more prominent ones.

“So…” Ginny said mischievously. “What does it take to get Pansy Parkinson to fall in love with me? Because I don’t do the whole unrequited thing.”

Pansy considered with a smirk. “A few more kisses like that would probably do it.” As an afterthought, she added, “And maybe some cuddling.”

Ginny feigned shock. “The famous Pansy Parkinson cuddles?”

“Only with stunning Quidditch goddesses.”

“Mmm, I hope I qualify.”

Pansy gazed at her studiously. “We’ll see.”

Ginny shoved her, flashing a playful smile. They started back to the castle together, and as they walked hand in hand, Pansy decided that maybe sometimes it was okay for Slytherins to act like Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors to act like Slytherins if it meant her slip-up could lead to a make-out session with the girl she lo–liked. After all, there wasn’t much traditional about this, and she sure as hell wasn’t complaining.

[queenarrow]

Hi geniewithwifi! I'm relatively new to the Arrow fandom and only started out reading fanfiction recently, and my friend recommended your stories to me. I've been thoroughly enjoying all of your fanfics, and just wanted to say you are an amazing writer! I'm now looking for more fanfiction to read, but wanted to ask, if you had to pick ten Arrow fanfiction writers you'd recommend to me to read their work, what would the list be? Thank you for all the wonderfulness you write, and in advance!

Anon, you are either trying to kill me or get me sent a lot of hate mail, I’m not sure which. TEN? Only TEN!? That’s practically impossible. I’m just going to make a list and that’s the number that it will be.

First off it depends on what you like. Authors have their niche that they like to enjoy writing. I tend to be on the AU side, but I write canon as well. And then sometimes, an author will write only two stories and they’re both really good, but I forget about them because they no longer write Olicity Fanfiction.

And If I make a list, I’m gonna miss them, and they will see this because Murphy’s law, and then they’ll wonder “why didn’t Genie mention me?” see how dangerous this is? But I’ll humor you, but please know that this list isn’t exhaustive, there are amazing writers out there that I’ve forgotten or haven’t read; or that others enjoy and I don’t. This is very subjective and I”m honored that you asked me. 

These authors are in no particular order (re alphabetical) and on here because I’ve read almost every single one of their fics. 

@ash818

This is a must read series. It’s not your typical Olicity fic, but it’s Next Gen, and Jon is a little shit and I absolutely adore Abby. You’ll look at it and say… but Oliver’s not the Arrow? What is this? AND THEN YOU’LL BE SCREAMING FOR MORE BY THE END OF IT.

Start Here: Legacy Series

@alexiablackbriar13

Lexi writes a lot of AU fics; and I’m not talking coffeeshop AU. I’m talking full blown she created a new species MULTIPLE times and makes it work. Find her HERE

@anthfan 

anth has been here forever. She tends to write a lot of Canon and Alternative Canon, so check her out. Her tropes series is a good one, as well as the devil’s backbone. Find here HERE

@beinmyheart

I love her AU’s. THere’s the spy one oh i love that one.  They’re mostly one shots but I love them all. Find her HERE

@dust2dust34

BRE WRITE EVERYTHING. Okay. You want smut? BRE. You want Bratva? BRE. You want ghosts? BRE. You want canon? BRE. 

Find her here

@bri617aroundtheworld

bri writes typical AU’s (not extreme like Lexi) and I love her Across the Highs, the lows, and the inbetweens. Find her HERE

@ghostfoxlovely 

Sammy writes EVERYTHING. She’s also considered among the Queens of Evil. (She will kill people. Watch out for that). Her Icing on the Cake right now IS SO ADORABLE. FIND HER HERE

@machawicket

I BOW DOWN TO MACHA. THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE MACHA. REad it all. Read everything. DOn’t stop. Read Velocity. Read E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. Find her HERE

@dettiot

Dettiot is a really great author, i’ve really enjoyed all her multichapters. Find her HERE

@so-caffeinated

Janis has figureheaded FICoN. You don’t know what that is? you’ll soon find out. Ask ANYONE. Find her here. 

@thatmasquedgirl

Masque writes along the same lines as Lexi, with super extreme AU’s with badass Felicity most of the time. Her tamest one is Technical Assistance, which is a season 1 rewrite with Felicity falling in love with the Hood. READ THEM ALL. 

@hopedreamlovepray

Hope’s specialty is Fix-it fics. Didn’t like how an episode turned out? She’ll fix it for you!  They’re really short and sweet. The first Olicity fanfic I ever read was a hope’s and it was her “Not Just a Close Shave.” Find her HERE

@tinaday3w

Okay. Tina is smutty I’ll tell you that. I haven’t read Oliver on Vacation, but Felicity’s Sweet Revenge is really smutty. The one I am enjoying, however, the one that I drop everything to read when she posts is A SOUL LOST AT SEA. O.M.G. YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ONE IT’S FANTASTIC AND SWOONWORTHY AND GUh. READ IT. 

@rosietwiggs

I’ve read all of Rosie’s. She writes smut as well as some canon and AU. Her writing is exceptional and it’s worth a recommendation. She writes Felicity so damn well. AND SHE NEEDS TO UPDATE THE NEW NORMAL BEFORE I GO CRAZY Find her HERE 

@sarcasticfina

Fina! My gosh Fina tries to kill you with her masterpieces that aren’t done, but what is there is like a Mona Lisa. They’re excellent. However, if unfinish fics turn you off, I’ll be careful what you start. Because every single fic you want her to finish, it’s that good. HERE

@whatcuriousthings

she’s thelittlegreennotebook on AO3, and she’s underappreciated by the fandom. I personally love her oneshots. She has a Felicity Darhk one, and my personal fav–  The One You Can’t Repair. FInd her HERE

@writewithurheart 

Nic is my beta and my BFF so JUST READ HER. Once More is great and finished, her steampunk AU is GETTING SO GOOD. Find her here

@hannasus

Her two that I can pull off the top of my head is Into You like a Train, and The Way it was Supposed to Be: HERE

@entersomethingcleverhere

Carla IS AMAZING. She has really awesome multichapers, including a Pride and Predjudice fic. Her millitary one will make you cry tears. FIND HERE 

@mogirl97

MORGAN HAS SOME OF THE BEST FICS. I’ve read every single one of them. Find her HERE

@chronicolicity

He deserves a shot at being happy is the best season 2 rewrite. The end. 

Find her HERE

@ruwithmeguys

INDECENT PROPOSAL. Guys, this is as close to canon characterization as I’ve been able to find in Fanfiction. She has Oliver and Felicity’s relationship down to a T. There’s a section in there, (chapter 3 i think) that is the EPITOME of OLICITY. Find her HERE

@supersillyanddorky06

READ ALL OF MATTY’S. The Phoenix, the Albatross, the Firebird. (I personally do not rec The Predator because I have not read it, and refuse to read it until Matty finishes her other fic, or until predator is complete. That’s just my weird quirk, so go ahead and be obsessed with it like everyone else)  READ HER HERE

@bindy417

HER ALSAHHIM ONE IS KILLING ME. She has another one which I follow with Felicity an ARGUS agent and Oliver who’s been missing for five years . READ HERE

@melsanfo

Masquerade and the Mermaid’s Kiss are the best mentioned, as well as Two Men, Same Name written with dettiot HERE IS MORE OF HER

@adiwriting

I love her xmen and City of Fallen Heroes. Find more of her HERE

SuchaPrettyPoison

HER WWII OLIVER AND MATH FELICITY ARE ADORABLE AND I NEED MORE OF THEM. Her swooner series is also amazing. I don’t know her on tumblr but go give her my love if you do! 

THIS IS NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST. Because I read more than just all these authors. These are the ones I’ve read almost everything by and came to my head quickly. I love all fanfiction authors, and you know if I’m reading your fics or not because I do comment on them. 

Peace out and keep writing!!