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sjsmith56 · 8 months ago

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The Way Station

Summary: Bucky waits out a heavy fog at gas station restaurant where he is confronted by a man with an agenda.

Length: 3.5 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Dorothy (OFC server), Red (OMC trucker), assorted bystanders.

Warnings: Implied homophobic and racist slurs by one character, bullying, supernatural vibes.

Author's notes: Something a little spooky. I've been fooling around with the idea behind the Way Station, as an original short story, for some time but was never satisfied with it. Thought it might fit with Bucky Barnes as the main character, so I adapted it and changed it to fit him. A way station typically referred to a station on the railroad where a slower train could pull off to allow a faster train to pass, or was at a junction where transfers of passenger or freight could be made. Image of Bucky on a motorcycle was created by the author on Microsoft Copilot app in Designer mode.

🌫️ 🏍️ 🥧

At the time Bucky thought it was a good idea to ride his motorcycle from New York to Delacroix. Hitting the open road, going at his own pace and stopping where he wanted, when he wanted, sounded like a recipe for an enjoyable time. He could listen to his favourite music playlist without anyone (Sam) asking why it always had to be 1940s music. Now on the third day, it was getting close to sunset, and he still had an hour before his destination. After texting Sam with his ETA, he knew a cold beer would be waiting and probably some jambalaya. Then the fog drifted in, accumulating in some of the lower marshy areas and ditches at first. Slowly it spread its tentacles across the road, making it harder and harder to see. Not only that but there had been a few close calls with vehicles going the other way passing others in his lane, and barely missing him, even though he steered his motorcycle as far to the right as he dared. When the last pass got too close for comfort Bucky decided that enough was enough and he pulled in at the next rest stop, a gas station with a small restaurant attached in a place called False River.

Pulling up to the restaurant, he parked his motorcycle, took off his helmet and looked at where he was before taking his cell phone to text Sam that he was going to be late. Noting the no cell service message, he sighed then stepped inside the restaurant, to ask if they had a pay phone. They did, but it was out of order. He asked to use their business phone but when he called Sam, the connection was poor, and he gave up in frustration.

The waitress, sorry, they were called servers now, a matronly woman with dyed hair and a name tag on her uniform that said Dorothy, looked at him with sympathy.

"It gets like that sometimes," she drawled, in a thick southern accent. "Especially when the fog comes in. Don't know why it does that honey, but it does. So, sit a spell, have some coffee and a piece of pie. You'll feel better."

With a nod, Bucky sat at the counter, ordered a black coffee and a piece of apple pie. It arrived in moments, and he took the first bite, then smiled at Dorothy.

"That's good pie," he stated.

"I know, honey, that's why I recommended it," she replied. "Where you headed?"

"Delacroix. Staying with a friend for a while."

"If he's a good friend he'll understand. I'm sure they get their share of fog there as well."

The door opened to a senior citizen couple, who commented about the thick fog and almost getting sideswiped by a semi. Dorothy was just as sympathetic to them as she was to Bucky and offered them the same thing, coffee and pie, before asking where their destination was. As more people came in to wait out the fog, Bucky began wondering how many apple pies she had in the back. They all came out warm and tasty, while the coffee was hot and plentiful, as she continually topped up the cups. After about an hour, the number of people entering seemed to slow down, until a woman and her young daughter arrived, followed by a trucker with a company shirt on and the embroidered name tag "Red" prominently displayed over the left front pocket of his shirt. No one came in after him. He took his hat off when he sat at the counter.

"Dorothy," he said curtly. "Got any apple pie left?"

"You know it, Red," she replied, her usual cheerfulness dimmed a bit. "Coffee, too?"

"Yup. Going to be a long night. Haven't seen fog this thick in a while. I'm sure by morning we'll be hearing of a few accidents."

"Well, we'll see," she replied, looking out the window in a worried manner. "Hope it's not too many."

"You know how it is, Dorothy," answered Red, sipping his coffee first. "People in a hurry never seem to watch where they're going."

She didn't look convinced. Bucky finished his apple pie, then looked up at Dorothy as she approached with a coffee pot.

"How much do I owe you?" he asked politely.

"$5 but why don't you keep your tab open in case you get hungry? You could be here for a while."

"I like to pay my debts," he smiled. "It's just the way I am."

"Fair enough," she winked back.

Taking the twenty he gave her; she rang it up on the till and brought back $15. In his wallet, Bucky had a dollar bill, and he gave her that for a tip, earning himself another wink, as she tucked it down the front of her uniform and into her bra. Several other people asked to pay, and she said the same thing to them. About half decided not to pay until later, ordering some French fries or beignets, with a refill of their coffee for the latter. Someone put some money in the jukebox and some lively Cajun music started playing.

Red, the trucker, finished his apple pie and carefully wiped his mouth with a napkin, looking all around at the various people before settling on Bucky.

"I know your face," he said. "You're that fellow that helped Captain America in New York with those Flag Smashers. What's your name, son?"

Sighing, Bucky answered, keeping his voice lowered so as not to attract attention.

"Bucky Barnes."

"You used to be that Winter Soldier, too, didn't you?"

He could feel the warmth on his face, when several others looked at him, feeling their eyes assessing him, perhaps passing judgement on him.

"Yes, but I'm not him anymore. I'm James "Bucky" Barnes and I received a pardon, plus I made amends to the families of my victims. I don't kill anymore."

"Hmph," grunted Red. "How do we know you're telling the truth? Why, I bet if you wanted, you could kill everyone of these fine people without building up a sweat."

"Red, leave the man alone," warned Dorothy. "He hasn't done anything untoward since he got here. He paid for his actions."

Smiling slightly at Dorothy for her intervention, Bucky turned his attention back to Red.

"I don't kill anymore. I never wanted to be that person. It was forced on me."

"So, you say. How many of you good people in here believe that?" Several people raised their hands. "Hmph. Looks like you have fans."

"Red, I'm warning you. Play nice or you're out the door." Dorothy frowned at him, as she poured Bucky another coffee. "Pay him no mind. He's always been grumpy, for as long as I've known him."

Red raised his hands in surrender and turned his attention away from Bucky. The wife of the senior couple had pulled some cards out of her purse and was dealing the cards for some game, Hearts maybe. Red watched them for a while, making a suggestion or two. But the couple ignored him, and he got bored, and moved along, looking at what others were doing. Another woman was playing solitaire and he made suggestions again which earned him a frown. Once again, he put his hands up in supplication. Bucky didn't turn to watch him, but he was listening, and he made himself very aware of where the man was, wondering what his problem was.

"Damn," muttered Dorothy, shaking her head. "He's bothering that lady with the little girl now."

"Well, sweetheart, what might your name be?" he asked, in a syrupy sweet voice that set Bucky's nerves on edge.

"Pansy," she replied, in a shy voice.

"Like the flower?" he asked. "Or like the little boys that were scared of their shadows?"

"Hey, don't say that to my daughter," responded her mother. Bucky turned around, ready to intervene. "She's named after my grandmother, okay? I happen to like pansies. They're happy flowers."

"If you say so," answered Red, stepping back with his hands up again.

Bucky looked the man in the eye. "Hey mister, why don't you leave people alone?"

"Or what, you'll go all Winter Soldier on me?" joked Red. "I'm sure all these people would like to see that."

"No, but I will pick you up and take you outside. No one's bothering you but you sure seem intent on bothering them."

"Oooh, I'm scared. I'm just bored, Soldier Boy. Speaking of boys ...." Red turned to see an Afro American family sitting together in a booth. "Why don't you give us a little song and dance while we're waiting."

"Say what?" asked the man who was obviously the father. "You're way out of line, mister."

Red mimicked the man, looking like a spoiled child as he did it, while Dorothy shook her head in disgust.

"If you want to bully someone, bully me," said Bucky, standing up now, and looking directly at Red. "Don't pick on kids or anyone else. Give it your best shot."

The man grinned and came over to Bucky looking up at him as he was several inches shorter.

"You couldn't take what I want to say to you."

"Try me."

"Okay." Red put his hands on his hips. "I think you liked killing. How many people did they say?"

"They didn't because even I don't know for sure. At least 60 that I do remember."

The trucker nodded. "Kids, too?"

"Sometimes, and women. I couldn't disobey. Not proud of it, but I'm trying to reconcile it and several of my victim's families have forgiven me."

"But not all of them. Tell me how you did it."

"No, not to you, not to anyone. That's my horror to live and I'll take that to my grave."

"Coward."

"If that's what you believe, nothing I say will change your mind. I'm no coward. I'll help anyone who needs it, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else."

"You try to help those Flag Smasher people?"

"I tried to talk them out of it, but their leader had already gone too far and wasn't ready to turn away from what she started. She made her decision, and it killed her."

"Well, I think you're a liar," sneered Red. "I think you should be shot for what you did."

"You're entitled to your opinion," answered Bucky. "The people that decide those things disagree."

"And what do you think, really, deep down? You think you deserve that pardon? You think you deserve to live? All those innocent people that you killed, with their blood on your hands, you think you're better than them?"

Bucky looked at Red for a long time, not feeling angry or disgusted really by his line of questioning. The man's hate oozed out of him like sludge, and it seemed like everything he was saying was meant for Bucky to react in a negative way, tempting him to lash out. The thing was, that Bucky had already gone through that process. How many walls had he punched in despair? How many times had he woken up screaming in the night after a nightmare? How often had he had a flashback in the middle of a happy occasion, because some small detail reminded him of one of the victims?

"I'm no better than anyone else." His voice was calm. "I was captured by HYDRA, tortured until I didn't know who I was, and forced to be their killer. Since I broke away from them, I haven't killed anyone because it's not in my nature. Everything HYDRA did to me was undone, except for the deaths that they were responsible for, their targets. I will never forget the people I killed and even if they had no one else to remember them, they have me."

The man scowled and turned away. Bucky glanced at the people around him, seeing respect in their eyes as he returned to the counter. Dorothy smiled at him and topped up his coffee. Red was looking outside, then came over to the counter and threw some money on it. Taking his cap, he jammed it on his head and headed for the door.

"The fog is letting up and I've got a shipment that has to be in New Orleans in an hour. If anyone wants to convoy with me, you're welcome to do it."

Then he was out the door. Several people got up and came to pay their tab. Dorothy tried to caution them about listening to Red but none of them hesitated and after paying her, they headed out the door. It was definitely quieter in there after the man and the others left. After almost an hour, someone else stepped outside and came back in.

"Sky's visible," he said. "Looks like the fog has moved on."

The people lined up to pay their bill. The woman with the little girl spoke up.

"My car broke down a bit north of here. Can anyone help?"

"I can," said Bucky. "If you're okay with it."

She smiled and he waited for her to pay her bill. They headed towards the door, but Dorothy called out to him.

"You're a good man, Bucky Barnes," she pronounced. "Don't let anyone say otherwise. Red's always itching for a fight, and you stood up to his nonsense very well."

With a wave, Bucky, the woman and her daughter headed out into the dark together and walked north.

"Thank you for standing up to that man," she said, along the way. "He gave off a lot of bad energy." She looked at Bucky. "You don't."

"Thanks," he replied. "I don't like bullies. My friend had to deal with them as a kid and I always backed him up."

"You mean Captain America?" she asked. "We saw the display at the Smithsonian."

"Yeah? They changed my part, now that they know I'm alive."

"I'm glad you are," she said. "To come through what you suffered is a testament to your real character. That's how I see it."

"Thank you."

They arrived at the car, and she popped the hood, both of them activating the flashlights on their cell phones. Bucky checked all the connecting wires, then saw her one battery connection was loose. Using his metal hand, he tightened it, ignoring the strong electrical shock he could feel.

"Try it now," he said, stepping back.

She got in, put the key in the slot and turned it, smiling as it started right away.

"Thank you, I'll give you a ride back," she said, as she belted her daughter into the car seat in the back.

Sitting in the front with her, he buckled up and she drove towards False Creek, but it was gone. His motorcycle was on a bare patch of ground next to the road, but the gas station and restaurant weren't there. They both stepped out.

"Where did it go?" she asked. "You were parked right in front of the restaurant, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I was."

He walked past his motorcycle towards the bushes that were there, using the flashlight function on his cell phone to illuminate beyond them. There were only more bushes and trees. Scratching his head he turned back to her.

"Okay, that's spooky. Why don't you wait until I start up my bike and I'll tandem with you, just to make sure there's nothing else spooky going on."

She nodded, returning to her car and getting inside. When he pulled up behind her, she put her car into gear and led the way. About 10 minutes later they saw the tell-tale red and blue flashes of emergency lights as an accident had blocked the road. All of the cars of people who had just left from the restaurant were ahead of them, as they had been stopped by a deputy. Bucky stopped his motorcycle and put the kickstand down, then walked towards the lights, stopping at the car with the woman.

"Stay here," he advised, before moving on.

The next car's driver rolled his window down and stuck his head out.

"Looks like a bad one."

"Yeah," replied Bucky. "I'm going to check it out."

He got to the front of the line, recognizing every one of the drivers as patrons in the restaurant that waited. Approaching the deputy who kept them there he nodded towards the tangled mess.

"Looks bad. Anyone killed?"

"Most of them. Happened during the fog more than an hour ago. What they were doing driving is beyond me. This part of the highway is bad for it and most people just wait for it to pass but these guys must have been in a hurry to get to New Orleans, or something. It's going to be a while, so stay put and we'll let you through once we clear one side of the road."

Bucky nodded and headed back, telling everyone what he had found out. As he sat on his motorcycle he took his phone out and saw he had a signal. He dialled Sam.

"Well, we were wondering what happened to you," came his friend's response.

"Yeah, there's a big accident on the highway south of False River," said Bucky. "Waited out the fog in a restaurant there but several people headed out with a trucker to get to New Orleans. They didn't make it, although I didn't notice the truck, come to think of it. I don't know when I'm getting there."

There was silence on the other end for a while. "You said False River? Bucky, there hasn't been a town called False River since the 1850s. There's no restaurant near where it used to be, either. Are you sure of your location?"

"Hold on," said Bucky, as he checked his map app. There was no False River. "You know, it's the damnedest thing. A lady needed help getting her car started, a bit north of the restaurant. I left my motorcycle there while we walked to her car. When she brought me back, the gas station and restaurant were gone. It was just bush."

"Wait a second," said Sam. Bucky could hear a muffled conversation, presumably with Sarah. "Buck, was there a waitress there named Dorothy and the trucker was Red?"

"Yeah, those were their names," exclaimed Bucky. "She was nice but he was a major asshole. Tried to goad me into reacting but I kept my cool. That's when he convinced people to convoy with him to New Orleans."

Sam passed that on to Sarah, who shrieked in response.

"Damn, you were at the Way Station," said Sam. "It's a local legend, that says the Devil and one of God's angels have an encounter. People are brought in, including someone who will face judgement on the day of their death. If that person defends themself righteously, the Devil loses but it's said he often tries to convince people to trust him and leave with him, to make up for not getting the big fish. Those that do, don't make it. Those that don't leave, live and get to go on their way."

"And the person being judged?" asked Bucky.

"They'll go to heaven," stated Sam. "They'll be pronounced a good person who has earned the right to pass through the Pearly Gates. Sounds like you faced the Devil and won."

"You know I'm not a believer anymore."

"Doesn't matter. Someone up there believes in you. We'll talk tomorrow about it. I'll make sure the door is open. The couch is ready and waiting."

"Thanks, Sam. See you when I see you."

He hung up and sat there for the longest time, not noticing when the car ahead of him began to move until the vehicle behind beeped its horn. With a wave, he put his helmet on and started up his motorcycle for the final hour of his trip. Even with that time he found it hard to believe that he had faced the evil one himself. Yet, the proof was there. The restaurant and gas station had disappeared into thin air, followed by the fatal accident on the way to New Orleans, not 10 minutes away from where he sat out the fog. Then he thought of Dorothy's words that he was a good man. Maybe, just maybe there was something to the legend of the Way Station.

One Shots Masterlist

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#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #judgement #fog #spooky vibes #james buchanan barnes oneshot

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hopeymchope · 1 year ago

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I almost always seem to have the minority opinion on media. And I'm really sick of it now.

I've been on a Fire Emblem kick again lately. But unfortunately, as much as I love all of the Fire Emblem games on 3DS? That's approximately how much I hate Fire Emblem: Three Houses on Switch. ....which is, of course, the most popular/successful game in the series to date.

Okay, look: In Fire Emblem, I really like the strategy-combat stuff and the storylines + support conversations. THAT'S the tasty meat. Anything else? Is irritating busywork to me. So if I spend between 2/3-3/4 of a supposed Fire Emblem game doing the other shit? You've crafted a great recipe to make me feel like I'm MOSTLY doing stuff I hate, and thusly I shall hate your game. And that's the START of the issue with Three Houses. (I must resist getting into the protagonist being a mute cipher OR how multiple side activities require blind luck or a guide to succeed OR bitching about the weak battle map design... oh shit oh SHIT I'M OUTING MYSELF, RUN FOR IT MARTY!)

By comparison, this year's Fire Emblem Engage feels like a step back in the right direction! I'm playing it a lot right now, and I'm mostly having a good time! Still more busywork than I want in these games, but it's at least back on the side of "more good than bad." So of course, if I look this game up and read any fan reviews or watch any videos... they're all about how disapppointing and sucky it is in comparison.

God. Of COURSE they are.

I really don't know why the advances they made with Fire Emblem Echoes haven't carried into the newer games. 3D dungeons you can explore for items and enemy encounters in a Persona-like fashion? Genius! Make it the template going forward! ..... What's that? Not even most fans bothered to buy or play that game??? So no one fucking cares about that feature?

.........fucking hell. Of COURSE they don't.

See, this is how it always goes for me. If I fall in love with a movie, I'll later learn it's either hated or ignored by its own fandom or by the masses at large. If I get emotionally invested in some weird game and its characters? There's a high probability that almost no one played it. And those who did? They didn't like it as much as me. If I think a game is really annoying and full of boring shit? Great reviews, huge fandom, etc.

I could make an utterly wild fucking list of things I like/love that other people hate. And the same is true in reverse. Sometimes, even when I agree with the hate on something, I don't agree with ANY of the reasons for WHY other people hate it!

Before you ask: It doesn't matter whether I know the "majority opinion" in advance of seeing/experiencing something, or I have no clue wht people think of something until I look it up later. I've gone to many midnight premieres of movies that weren't yet screened for critics, and I typically always wind up on the wrong side of the majority. I've played obscure games just because the premise sounded good, fallen in love with them, gone looking for a fandom... and found out that everybody thinks said game is utter shit.

So I'm not just being contrarian; this shit comes NATURALLY.

However, I should make some caveats about this weirdness clear:

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the wrong side of JUST the outspoken part of the audience... but there's evidence to support that my own stance maybe ISN'T so weird. For example: My family and I have always loved 2009's Avatar. We never were dressing up like the goddamn Na'vi or anything so fanatical, but we've rewatched it many times over the years. We regularly quote it to each other around the house. And the massive success of that movie (and its recent sequel) seems to back up that this admiration/enjoyment isn't THAT crazy or esoteric, RIGHT? It's just that the Internet is extremely outspoken about Avatar supposedly being lame and totally unmemorable. Remember how people in 2022 kept being like "You can't remember even three character names from that movie! Nobody quotes it!" and shit like that? I was one of the people going "I will list you NINE characters and spew DOZENS of quotes at you."

My "minority opinion" thing only stretches so far. It's not like I thought The Room was the best movie I'd ever seen or angrily felt Tears of the Kingdom was the worst game I ever played. That would be beyond "minority" and more "MADNESS." There's a limit to this weirdness; it has to be within a certain degree of reason, you know? Some things just aren't POSSIBLE to totally flip the script on. Birdemic will always be embarrassingly terrible, and I refuse to believe anyone would legitimately feel otherwise. OK?

This isn't completely universal, either. There are always exceptions where I actually wind up on the right side of the majority. They're just... rarer than the other thing, honestly.

It gets exhausting to always feel like I'm on the defensive or at worst, utterly alone in how I think among the larger community. I don't want this anymore.

But I don't get a say, clearly. I'm just going to keep doing this. I'm going to go see a movie on opening weekend and think "Wow, what an awful piece of shit" only to find that DECADES LATER, people still cite it as one of the best movies in its genre. I'm going to adore a modern revival of a classic comic book, then I'll go online and find that it's widely considered an abomination before god. This is who I am. It's just REALLY tiring to be here.

#minority opinions #navel gazing #fire emblem #fire emblem engage #fire emblem: engage #memes #fire emblem memes #just bitching #sorry

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la-galaxie-langblr · 3 months ago

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6 Week Challenge Week 2 Day 2 12/11/24

Today I:

Had a chill morning before class, who knew that when you get up earlier you have more time

Went to oral class, it went better than usual :D

Went swimming!! I've started 'training' to swim a mile, there's this programme called 0 to 1650 and while it's measured in yards it converts to 1500m (swimmer's mile apparently), so slowly starting to work on that :)

Had a sweet treat and a yap session with a friend

Went grocery shopping

Tutored

Cooked dinner - tried a new recipe, bbq 'pulled pork' mushrooms :D

Worked on my next pragmatics assignment, it's so hard 😭

Daily joys:

I was so relieved that oral class went well, I usually struggle in them because of low confidence so it was nice to have a break and feel things are going well for once

I did my 700m in the pool as per the programme, and since I had some time left I did 300m more in the last 15 mins of my session :D it feels very cool to say I swam 1km in 1 hour, in a couple weeks I'll be able to do that distance with no breaks!!

Because I had no groceries at home I had a rare meal deal from the students' union, their strawberry yoghurts are SO GOOD

It was lovely talking to my friend, we have no classes in common this year so making the effort to meet up has been so nice

I gave into the appeal of the £2.60 triple chocolate cookie at the coffee shop, a financially good and physically healthy decision? Probs not but I don't care, it was so tasty and slightly warm <3 and I almost never get sweet treats when I'm out so I'm giving myself a pass

My tutoring session went really smoothly, I've had a couple of rough sessions recently so this was a nice change lol

Dinner was tasty and I have enough ingredients to make it again :D

I did my homework in the living room w my housemates and we made some v silly jokes and laughed a lot :)

Goals progress:

Listened to another French podcast episode when walking to uni this morning, I can't note it on my learning log because I've done too many similar activities recently but it's good for my skills anyway

Swimming ✅

Today was so packed and it feels like I've had no time for studying 😭 gonna have some late nights this week

#langblr #studyblr #galaxiegoals

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recurring-polynya · 2 years ago

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Writing/Art Update 3/28/2023

At my old job, one of my big job functions was taking someone else's code and trying to figure out why they got one answer when they ran it on their system and we got a different answer when we ran it in the operational environment. This was often a long and painstaking process and among the worse parts of it was going to status meetings and announcing that I worked on it all week and found 5 bugs and none of them were the one I was looking for. Literally, no one was ever once disappointed in me for this because a) that's just how this work was and b) everyone knew I was good at it and if I was stuck it was because it was hard, but also, it sucked for me, personally.

Anyway, these weekly updates are starting to feel like that, where it's like "yet another week of not finishing the fanfic." I don't really mean to be pessimistic about it, because I actually feel like it's going decently well, it's just that the progress is not happening in any kind of linear or predictable way.

I made it most of the way through the editing and rearranging phase I was in last week. I still have about 3 scenes at the end that are unfinished, but I decided to put those off for the time being. I've mentioned before that this isn't really a story about events, it's a story about a time, so there's a beginning and an end and some stuff happening in the middle, and right now I'm trying to make the stuff in the middle feel like it's going somewhere and is not just a random collection of scenes. I've actually been thinking about the story when I am not actively working on it, which was hard to do earlier on. I've got a much better idea of what each of the characters is going through and I've been rearranging and adding scenes to try to punch up some of those themes. (The reason I left those last few scenes until later is that I need those to sort of wrap things up, and I can't wrap until I know what I'm wrapping, y'know?)

If you put a gun to my head, I could finish the thing in a day or two, but it would be kinda shitty. Every day, I work on it and it gets a little less shitty. There are definitely bits of it that I like. I hope to eventually get to a place where it's not shitty, or at very least, I'm out of ways to improve it.

I like to be done things and I have to remind myself that sitting with my work is good and important and also the point, like I write for the experience of writing and for my own mental health, not for churning out stuff, it's not like I get paid or anything. Also, I've worked on this fic for a really long time and it's a story that's important to me and I want it not to suck. I am, however, very very very sorry to all six or however many of you read these updates and sigh heavily.

Also, I kinda have a lot of other stuff going on. One of the effects of living under late-stage capitalism is convincing yourself that all the stuff that you do that's not paid employment, like grocery shopping and helping people move and running a child's health form to the doctor and back and doing taxes and driving the dog to chemotherapy all don't count and so I feel like I never do anything and am pathetic, but I actually do kind of a lot of things.

I realized yesterday that it was the 27th and I had not really drawn anything all month, so I started drawing a thing and I rushed through it a little, because I was mostly doing it so that I didn't have a blank space for March when I do my year-end retro, but then I realized I didn't want to put something that sucked there, either. (by rushed, I did spend, like an hour or two on this). I do have a few more days in the month, so maybe I can keep working on it.

I am pleased to report that I Made A Good Cake for Mr. P's birthday. It was an Almond Tres Leches Cake. It wasn't exactly pretty, but it was tasty. I made two modifications to the recipe. (1) It was just for our family, so I halved the recipe. I cooked the whole thing in one 9x13, and cut it in half widthwise and stacked the two halves. This worked out great, would recommend. (2) There was a comment on the recipe where someone said they used raspberry preserves instead of apricot and I did that, too, because Mr. P prefers raspberry.

This was definitely one of the nicest sponges I have ever made. I did a really good job whipping the eggs, if I do say so myself. It baked up nice and tall and had great flavor. If I made this again, I would consider using fresh raspberries and cooking them into a compote instead of storebought jam, but the jam was fine, actually! It was chilled from being in the fridge, and I think this would make a really nice summer desert. Both Mr P and Polynya Jr rated it among my Top Cakes. (Polynya the Smallest did not care for it, but it's simply not possible to please all the people in my house at the same time). The cake also gets bonus points for using some of the almond flour AND cake flour that I already had in my pantry from previous projects.

Oh, yeah, the childrens' spring break is next week. 😬

I almost forgot! We also went to the arboretum to see the cherry blossoms and we also visited our friends the koi. LOOK AT THIS BIG CHONK AND THEIR ENTOURAGE.

This wasn't even the biggest chonk there, it's just the one I managed to get a picture of.

#writing update #art update #koi update

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morphennox · 3 months ago

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12.11.24

I'm late with my monthly letter, aren't I ? And also with the last thing I said I was going to write you *laughs* apparently I slept for a month or what ? *laughs* did you miss me honey ? It would be a shame if you didn't * se awita*( means saddened) because I miss you a lot.

Yes I had written to you but I was saving it to make the letter longer (?) How was it possible in the past to wait more than a month for a letter? More than 10 years ago if I got to exchange letters with people from different countries, once a friend sent me several things from Korea, he really liked tea and sent me his favorite tea, I never ever tasted a tea as delicious as that, it was plum and came as ... powder, in Mexico as far as I know you can not get something like that, I would like to try it again but now it is only in my memories.

Another thing that was also sent to me was from a friend from China, he sent me a beautiful red envelope with a bill, I still keep it and in that envelope I keep the tickets for your concert 🫶✨️

Why don't people send letters anymore? It was so funny and so nice I still keep the letters they sent me, of all those friends I only keep in touch with a girl from the United States, I loved to wait for the letter carrier with my letters and see everything in the letters, from what paper and what envelope they used, the postage stamps, what kind of handwriting they had, what things they told me *sigh* what beautiful memories you have made me remember.

Changing the subject let's talk about now, these days have been so busy for me and even busier days are coming... I will be free until January 🫠 I just hope I have energy for everything, please cheer me up! The weather has improved remarkably, I prefer cold to rain definitely, I don't love cloudy days yet but they are better than rain *laughs* I know that rain is important and sacred, and thanks to it everything is reborn but let it rain when I don't have to go out *laughs*.

These days I've been cooking a lot and I particularly found a recipe that obsessed me and I think it's in my top recipes this year, it's called Muŷaddara, and I started to prepare it every week to take it to work to eat it at least 3 days *laughs* it really doesn't bore me, it has a combination of spices that woow is such an interesting world of spices that I should study them! I don't know if the flavor that I prepare is the way they prepare it in the middle east but it's very tasty 😂👀👩‍🍳✨️

Here everything is going very well, I am healing day by day and I feel more comfortable with my own skin, my own essence, I am polishing myself day by day, giving myself to my own essence to my true self and I take care of the little Tan, cleaning in my being everything that no longer serves me, thanking my past versions because thanks to them I am here and I am who I am now, my best version, thanks to the strength and everything they endured I am here in a more peaceful and abundant life, where everything has become easier for me, I truly love each version of me no matter how dark it was, thanks to that version I am better now, I am infinitely grateful for everything they learned and endured, I am truly surprised by the strength with which they resisted everything, but it is time to rest, the battle is over.

At this moment I have changed many habits, places, even people, without hesitation I remove everything and everyone from my life without looking back, if they simply do not bring me anything in my life and if they only know how to subtract I simply remove them from my life, even friendships of 15 years goodbye *laughs* without fear of success😂😂.

And this brings me to thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there all these years and loving me no matter which version I was, the best or the worst, that's how you loved me *laughs* how things are, right? You realize things when you least expect it, I was always loved just not the way I " expected" thank you for everything always Taachan from my heart💖✨️ you have no idea of the good you have done me even in the "bad" because thanks to it I can be this original version , everything has helped me to transform me , I bless you and your way I love you 💖✨️

I'm falling asleep again *laughs* and I still haven't finished telling you what I wanted to tell you and there's still missing what I had already written and besides this is already very long *laughs* so you won't miss me 🫶✨️

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wanderingcas · 4 years ago

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i know that every person and their mother are doing it but MAN i want to start a cooking vlog

#i've been making so many tasty recipes lately #and i want to catalogue them all #what better way than a blog... or vlog.... or #bvlog #not spn

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punkass-diogenes · 2 years ago

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10, 12, 19.

Do you have a favourite classic novel?

Here is where I feel guilty about all the classics I haven't read. The one that immediately comes to mind is Nineteen Eighty-Four. I consider it one of the most terrifying books I've ever read - mostly due to the scenes between Winston and O'Brien. The "boot stamping on a human face forever," the part where Winston feels as if O'Brien's mind contains his mind and there is nothing he can think or do that has not been anticipated, Room 101 and the endgame being the breaking of the spirit and the betrayal of the other. Eugh. I haven't read that book in years and it still makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Do you prefer baking or cooking?

Cooking! Baking is a pain in the ass. I love baked goods, but the number of times I have had to deal with bullshit from my bread dough because of the temperature this and the humidity that and the age of the yeast this and that and the other thing. I've had so many meltdowns about baking. When it comes to cooking, I love being able to improvise and try things out.

My newest favorite thing to cook is a quick recipe for lemongrass tofu I figured out. It's hard to find lemongrass at non-specialty stores, plus it's usually expensive and there's no way in hell I will be able to use all of it. So I found this lemongrass powder spice at a Vietnamese grocery store. I cut the tofu into thin slabs and brush both sides with a mixture of peanut oil, lemongrass powder, and five spice powder. Then air fry on both sides until crispy. Serve with rice or rice vermicelli + veggies and mix it all together with hoisin sauce and a sprinkle of fish sauce.

Restaurant prices have gone way up lately where I live (and I believe this is the case everywhere) and I'm not really willing to pay $15 for a meal that used to cost $8 except on occasion. So I've been learning to make a lot of things myself that I used to get from takeout.

Do you prefer forests, sea shores, or meadows?

This is a tough one because I love both forests - particularly the coniferous forests of the Pacific northwest - and sea shores. I think I would have to say sea shores. I grew up near the ocean and it has always been a part of me. I hate being too far away from it for too long. I also have an elemental identification with water.

Also, a big strike against forests for me is bugs. Not bugs in general because I like bugs and think they are super cool. But bugs that BITE. Mosquitos, horseflies, gnats, and so on. These bugs seem to find me a particularly tasty morsel and I get bitten five times as much as most people. On top of that, I have strong allergic reactions to mosquito bites and some of them will swell up to a point that painfully limits circulation in my limbs. Every time I dare to enter a forest, I get bites of some kind. Even in the dry climate of southern California, my arms and legs get so covered with gnat bites in the summer that it looks like I have scabies. I see swarms of gnats on the beach and around the lagoons from time to time, but these beach bum gnats have never shown the same interest in biting me as their dickhead woodland cousins.

My ideal would be a place that has conifer forest right up against the coastline, e.g. Big Sur.

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kierancampire · 3 years ago

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I've severely been struggling with food lately, i cannot tell you how many times i have chucked away literal plate fulls of food because i just can't eat. But yesterday i decided to dedicate myself to new recipes! I'm gonna be trying TONS of new things, and i definitely didn't like the price tag (spent a further £18 in Tesco to get bits i couldn't find). But it makes me so happy seeing my cupboards and fridge so full, land it is exciting knowing i will be trying so many new things! Also, it has literally just been meat, meat, meat lately. So all this veg (lots hidden in the fridge drawer) and trying new veg feels good! Only thing i am slightly nervous about is trying to eat it all and keep it all fresh, so probably need to meal plan

Left overs today, but hopefully on to some tasty, new, exciting meals tomorrow! Hopefully this helps get me out of this depression slump too!

#personal #Food #Shop #Food shop #Cook #Cooking #New recipes

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happymetalgirl · 6 years ago

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Jinjer - Micro

The Ukrainian band has seen the gradual build of a fair amount of viral hype over the past few years. Their skilled and varied blend of ambient elements into a proggy form of djenty metalcore is certainly interesting enough on its own to set them above the average, generic practitioners of downtuned metalcore, but even so, the subgenre has become so expansive and diverse that even a blend of musical styles such as Jinjer's is not enough to really separate them all too distinctly from the crowd they're in. What has really turned so many eyes toward Jinjer as of late is the similarly skilled, juxtaposed handling of harsh growls and angelic clean vocals by frontwoman Tatiana Shmailyuk.

The dual wielding of cleans and growls is certainly nothing new in metalcore; in fact it's pretty much standard in the semi-proggy niche Jinjer occupy, but the slightly different timbre of Shmailyuk's growls and the elegance of her clean singing (an element not too common in metalcore), combined with the rest of the band's technical and thoughtful approach to their style, has shown to be the recipe for just the degree of uniqueness they needed to get some traction in their field. They're not the first to be doing any one thing that they do, but they have become one of the most prominent in their niche lately due to the way they seem to have lined up all their musical elements in the right place at the right time.

I have enjoyed the songs I've heard from the band, but in what I've heard from them, their writing has often been based more heavily on the arrangement of the different musical styles they incorporate and less on specific musical ideas and motifs, which is fine; not everything has to be riff-centric. I love plenty of albums whose appeals are not based at all on riffage. But when it comes to Jinjer's style of prog metal/metalcore, the symphony of styles can come across as meandering or simply leaving something memorable to be desired due to the frequent deficiency in interesting instrumental motifs. So with the band's new EP this year, I was hoping they would step up that aspect of their game and inject some of what seems to have been missing from their music over the course of the few songs on this project.

At just 20 minutes with its five tracks, Micro is the baby-step in the right direction I had hoped for from the band, focusing on making their music about more than just their sound and their blend of musical styles. The first song, "Ape" wastes no time and kicks things off quickly with an allegro, djenty groove-fest, which, despite it not being super memorable, is still rather infectious and mobilizing. Shmailyuk's vibratos on the track alternate between haunting and ethereal and do well to bring the needed dynamic to the song.

The second track, "Dreadful Moments", loses a bit of the opening track's momentum in its mid-paced djent-fest, but Shmailyuk's cleans temporarily lead the song into the kind of menacing territory the band thrive in. Overall though, the song jumps around kind of aimlessly more out of a lack of its being able to conjure the kind of grooves or atmosphere it seems to be trying to.

The record's longest song, "Teacher, Teacher!", takes aim at religious indoctrination as the band go for a more alt-rock-oriented sound, losing a bit of their metalcore intensity along the way. Shmailyuk gives off some Otep vibes during her delivery of the staccato cleans, but only slightly. It's a little different for them, but it's not quite bold enough to be the kind of number it seems to be designed to be.

The album's crown jewel is the effervescent "Perenial", which finds the band hitting the sweet spot they need to aim for more often. With a tasty djent groove leading the way to a climactically clean-sung bridge made all the more lingering by the band's more post-metal approach at the right time, this song is a fine example of Jinjer at their most potent.

The EP ends with the short, titular acoustic outro, which really doesn't do anything for or against the album, but it's a decent bow-out. There is definitely some good progress to take away from this short release, as well as a reinforcing of where Jinjer need to continue to direct their energy in the future. Hopefully the band use this project to gauge where to put that work in on their next album and strengthen their attack.

Baby steps in the right direction/10

#jinjer #micro #djent #metalcore #progressive metal #metal #heavy metal #new music #new album #alvum review #new ep #ep review #review

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