#i've been laughing at how bad this trainwreck of a movie looks but this takes the cake for stupidest shit i've seen today lmfao

[juniperjelly]

"we can always tell" motherfuckers when they see a teenage boy, a teenage girl, a black woman, and a bearded man in pink;

[martieshub]

Fingertips played with hers as a means to keep busy when his mind ran rampant. He was now realizing why as a child he'd always have someone's hand to hold whenever he received news whether good or bad. His mind never calmed unless it was made to. While, that'd been a thing with family, that changed now with Liz. It was the weirdest yet made the most sense. Emerald hues glanced up and almost like he was watching a favorite movie or reading a favorite book, the tight lipped line from her made him softly smile. This was something that hadn't gotten better as time went on and he could tell that bothered her. He gave her a curious look as he waited for her to finish her thought. He'd seen that look on her face before. Now, it was memory but he still saw it clear as day in his mind. It was the same look she gave him when she wondered why he didn't just leave her behind after she'd helped him finish a task. It was the same look that made him wonder if anyone had actually given her anything other than their backs as they walked away and left her behind.

❛What would make me happy, is spending my life with you. Bonus would be actually catching Celina in a lie and eliminating her as a threat. But really, you make me happy. I'd give it all up, all of that, if it meant spending my life with you. ❜ He stated honestly as nothing he ever did tell her was a lie. She just hadn't quite grasped the fact that she was more than enough for him and that her flighty nature wasn't a deal breaker.He grabbed her hand and sighed into it. ❛Funny because that's exactly what I want for you. For you to be happy. I mean, I know this wasn't exactly in your plans but this is where I wanna be. ❜

His thumb caressed her jaw gently and made her look at him. ❛Hey, we made it through. I'm sure that she will want to talk your ear off over your missed week as if nothing had happened. You're still her second favorite. ❜ He tried to bring some levity to her, if he had to guess she would take this one and feel guilty about it. He also wanted to let her know that he didn't blame her and if he had known why she freezed him out, he still would have thought the same. She needed to do this for her. He'd always support that.

Along with that trademark smirk of his, came a curious look. His expression was hopeful, despite the trainwreck of his week, there was hope in his eyes, light in his features as he laid here with her. She already had an open door to his life, he knew that he'd always be an open book for her. Just would take time for her to truly get into the crevices of his mind. ❛The important thing is that we got here and we're gonna figure it out together. I'm no expert but I know one thing. I believe in us. ❜

He smiled as she stretched out in front of him and couldn't believe he'd get to love her. What he once thought nothing could make him love anyone more, he clearly was wrong. He'd found his person who made loving easy. Easily he put his hand in hers and pulled her into his side. He could close his eyes and know the way to her room. He could draw it if he knew how to draw and had that talent. A small laugh escaped him as the thought of kittens posed a tough answer. The fact she had named the cat made him tilt his head in that way of him thinking she was cute. "Truthfully? We could foster them until someone adopta them? Shelters are pretty packed and always look for foster parents to help with the overcrowding. Also, I know Annie and Sarah would go nuts over taking care of kittens since their cat is now an old lady. We'd find a way." But the thought was overwhelming. Though, Wally did love chaos. "Did you try leaving treats on the floor for her to follow?"

He rolled onto the side he had usually claimed whenever he'd slept over and stretched out his neck. "I don't think she even realizes I've been gone. That's a bit surprising since when I see her she pretends like she doesn't care." He laughed, thinking back to the times he'd accidentally gotten between her food and her. "You know, maybe it's Dolly she's scared of? Have you tried coaxing her when Dolly is here?" Wally looked up and chewed the inside of his cheek. "Seriously, do you wanna adopt her? She does have a pretty cool name."

❝ I know, ❞ The words were soft to convey her empathy at the situation, having come to know just how close the siblings were she knew was probably having a rough go of it. Especially a twin. Not that she would understand their connection, they had grown up together. Her fingers continued to stroke through his hair softly as they spoke. Lips pursed in a tight line as he spoke about his career, she wanted to be able to take that concern from him, she knew how hard he worked at it, what good he wanted to do with what he could. The fact she was being included in this choice of his put a weight she didn't quite understand on her. While she could admit that she was in love with him, she also held the idea that sooner or later, he'd tire of her, her past, her issues, and her flightiness, and eventually he would move on to someone better. This decision would affect his life, not hers, right? She didn't want to say the wrong thing, was there a right thing to say? ❝ I think,❞ she chose her words carefully as she looked off for a moment before looking back at him. ❝ That you are amazing at what you do, but you also need to do what makes you happy. What would make you happy? If putting work second or third makes you happy, then do it. That's all I want for you, is to be happy, you deserve it Wallaby. Whatever form that takes, I support it. ❞

There was that guilt, she felt horrible for not being there when she could be needed, a lot happened in that week. There was also anger at the woman that made his life miserable. Many thoughts and plots had occurred to her, but she would never do any of it without his wanting it. It would also mean reaching out to people she had left in her past long ago. The people she would be willing to do that for, she was able to count on one hand, and he was on it.

Times like this made her wish she could read his mind. Know what he was thinking, see things as he saw them. She had spent so much of her life always reading others and giving them what they wanted most, with him it was different. He always seemed to see the best in things, draw her out of her shadows to see the light in things, like he had seen her. ❝ Yeah, slow and steady. ❞ She echoed, a small smile at the thought of how she was finally catching up to things that she should have realized ages ago. Habibi, the term of endearment brought a blush to her cheeks, never being one for such things, there was something about it coming from him that seemed to mean the world. ❝ You weren't and I was just blind. ❞

❝ You have a deal, ❞ she stood up to stretch for a moment, not wanting to admit how much she missed him coming over and being there when she couldn't sleep. Or just being in her space period. There seemed to be a calmness to things whenever he was around. The casual way he dropped we, made her heart skip a beat. How did a word so small and simple make her feel like this? A part of something, something loving and whole, and part of her wanted to run from it, but that was what she was working on wasn't it? Letting it in. Letting him in. Accepting love that was being given.

❝ Maybe. Might be. ❞ Tilting her head as she thought about it, she held her hand out for him to take and lead him down the hall to her room as if he hadn't been there before. ❝ I might just be feeding her a lot. I usually spot her in the mornings around seven and then sometimes I'll hear howling around eleven so I go out and feed her again.❞ The thought of one cat was adorable, the thought of so many was a little overwhelming but also adorable. She couldn't bear the thought of separating her from her kittens if she was pregnant, that sounded evil. It was a bit of a catch-22 at this point for her. ❝ I might, but if she is pregnant, what are we going to do with a litter of kittens? Also, Antares, that's what I've been calling her, doesn't seem like a house cat. I haven't coaxed her back in here. I would leave the door open and waited a bit to see if she'd come in a couple of times. Once, she spent the night downstairs in the office, but besides that never came up. I think she might have been looking for you, seeing as you were the one that brought her here to begin with. Maybe she comes back looking for you. ❞

[mizzpinkiewrites]

my Solondz deep dive/

While listening to Selma Blair's autobiography yesterday, she briefly mentioned Storytelling (2001), reminding me how much I love that movie and of the existence of its controversial (but highly esteemed) director Todd Solondz.

I decided to look at his other movies, of which I'd read detailed Wikipedia descriptions in high school, but never had the stomach to attempt screening. Starting with his beloved 1995 classic, Welcome to the Dollhouse. After devouring the first film I dove straight into Happiness, and promptly vomited at the 30-minute mark. I needed to take a long shower before I felt clean enough to continue.

My feelings on Happiness were so strong that I needed to pour through reviews, many of which praised the director as a visionary and called the movie laugh-out-loud funny- a guilty pleasure, so bad its good, etc... I wasn't shocked at this because honestly, most movies in the white/ hipster/ male/ manic pixie film canon have quite a bit of subject matter that I've been immediately horrified/repulsed by, but Solondz had me feeling conflicted. There's a feeling that because he's calling the bullshit out, he's not a part of it. Is he blameless in the culture he depicts? What are the consequences of the discourse he creates? Is it..funny? are these even comedies? A self-fulfilling prophecy? Where is the line? Why would you make this movie/ what is the urge to create... this? Does it serve a purpose? Does this reflect the violent culture of this era later to be marked by the themes that his films predict, or does it instruct them? I also am perplexed by these feelings of guilty pleasure many of us find in these movies, the urge to peek through our fingers and watch, to take a shower and try again, to experience and enjoy the trainwreck.

This era of films is marked so distinctly by the way children are used to display violence, perversion, corruption and overall plain evil to drive home a message about suburbia, internet culture(sometimes), and banality. Though played out by kids of the millennium, the messages are the gospel of Gen X, cynical and ironic to a fault, playing upon their own experiences growing up, but also blending with anxieties for the generation they were watching arrive. These movies say something about "late" capitalistic trends and the depravity of white suburbia, the dream sprung from colonial acts of violence, but also seem to intend to reveal something inherent in mankind itself.

It is with these thoughts and questions that I intend to work through a deep dive into Solondz's works. Or at least the reasonably accessible ones, if my brain can stand it.