#i've been driving celebrity chefs and their managers for like
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This is kind of blowing my mind--I'm American and we are obviously a very big country, but I'm trying to imagine anyone having so much land (or just so much land being available anywhere) that they would have to drive four hours even to reach the edge of their own property
Yeah, I mean!! Australia's a big country, and - globally speaking - no one lives here, lol. I can't articulate to you how small some towns in rural/remote Australia are, despite the country's size, but mm, okay, I'll try, haha:
When I did that particular tour of rural Queensland [I live in Melbourne, Victoria, but 'm from Brisbane originally, which is the capital city of Queensland], it was a part of a creative project funded by the state archive to build a food memory of Q, and a part of that was taking celebrity chefs to remote parts of the state to help people write about passed-down family recipes. It was genuinely one of the most fun jobs I ever had, and I met so many interesting people, and I think about it all the time, haha.
In that, we flew into Mount Isa, which is a mining town, and then just - - drove! For hours! And the landscape just alternates between this:
And this:
(Both of these are literally just Mount Isa too)
It honestly is such a unique landscape, and when you're out in it truly, you don't feel like there's anyone else in the world. Like, God, half of Australia's entire population lives between Sydney and Melbourne! That's always crazy to me, especially given the breadth of the country. Jodie Foster filmed a movie here years ago and just said she couldn't believe how much of Australia was untouched, which is a lovely thing to say, but only partially true, of course.
But yeah, like, I also did a year-long freelance writing contract for the Q Department of Education about five years ago, and there are schools there which have literally six students per year level MAX. One school we were preparing child safety documents for was a prep-10 school (a lot of remote schools don't offer year 11 and 12) had eight students total in the entire school.
(Slightly off topic, but a lot of the resources I was writing there were just begging children to stop daring each other to eat kangaroo poo, because they kept getting Q Fever, so there's a little bit of trivia for you, haha).
It's why a lot of kids are still sent out to board in city schools - particularly if they intend to graduate - hence Sam going to school in Sydney doesn't surprise me at all. Again, I don't know if he was a boarder, but Cranbrook offers it and I know anecdotally farm kids tend to board (again, my mum did, and I know a lot of other people who did too), and I know Cranbrook caters to rich rural farming families.
Also just anecdotally, outside of schooling, my sister has been living regionally so when I say she's in family court, she's in a regional one, and one of the things that I hate to say surprised me given what I talk about above was that in the Readiness & Compliance Hearing where a group of us are all getting to hear each other's business, the average time to get to the closest court from remote Australia was 7 hours. So yeah.
Big country, and a very, very dispersed population.
#can i also tell you my favourite story from that mid-west queensland food history tour?#okay okay okay#i've been driving celebrity chefs and their managers for like#six hours#it's exhausting#everyone's been very lovely#but one of the chefs (who again - lovely)#had recently had sydney paparazzi hound her and her (at the time 15yo!) son who's profoundly disabled#it hadn't been a known Thing at the time that she had a child with a disability#and it blew up a little#and she was (understandably) very upset and angry about it especially because it caused her son great distress#so we're all talking about that and i'm on her side and she ditches her manager and climbs into the passenger seat to talk to me#as i'm driving and we're chatting away and it's all red desert and ant hills that are literally taller than me (i have pics of that lol)#and then i just see on the side of the road a child flying a kit#insane right?#i was like no WAY#and this celeb chef beside me was also like wtf is that#and i told her i think it's a kid flying a kite#and she was like no its a bag and a trick of the light#and we got closer and it was a dead kangaroo#sitting up beside the road#and a wedge-tailed eagle in the sky#and the line that i thought was a kite string in the distance#was the kangaroo's intestines in the eagle's mouth lmao#we both laughed and wailed a lot#and then drove into a dinosaur-themed town#truly an out-of-body experience lmao#and she brings it up every time i see her at events lol which is not often!!! it's been a decade!#anyway haha yeah australia's a funny place#sorry this reply is all over the place haha
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My African Food Chef
Hey there, My African Food Chef fam! I am here to continue from my last update, so I wanted to touch base and share where I am with this incredible culinary journey. So grab your favorite brew, get cozy, and let's dive right in!
What's Working?
Let's kick things off with a celebration of our victories! Our community engagement has been booming lately, and I can't express enough gratitude for each of you who've joined us on this flavorful adventure. Your enthusiasm, feedback, and support have been the driving force behind My African Food Chef's success. From sharing your own recipes to spreading the word about our platform, you all are the real MVPs!
Plus, my recipe development process has been yielding some seriously mouthwatering results. We've been playing with traditional African flavors and adding our own twist to classic dishes, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. It's incredibly rewarding to see people trying out our recipes in their own kitchens and sharing their delicious creations with us.
What's Not Working?
But of course, every journey has its hurdles. One area where we're still finding our jogging is in reaching new audiences. While the current community is engaged, I am eager to connect with even more food lovers curious about African cuisine. Navigating the realm of effective marketing strategies to attract and retain new users is a challenge we're actively tackling.
Also, balancing the demands of growing a business with other commitments can feel like a juggling act. Some days, it feels like there simply aren't enough hours to tackle everything on our to-do list. However, we're committed to finding sustainable ways to manage our time and prioritize effectively.
How Do I Feel the Project Is Coming?
Reflecting on our journey so far, I couldn't be prouder of our progress. My African Food Chef began as a passion project fueled by a love for African cuisine and a desire to share it with the world. Witnessing that vision come to life has been nothing short of incredible. Every day, I'm inspired by the creativity and dedication of our team and the unwavering support of our community.
Still, I am aware in the early stages of the journey, and there's much more to accomplish. I am constantly pushing to innovate, improve, and grow, and I'm genuinely excited to see where this journey takes us.
What Am I Learning About Running a Business?
Running a business is a journey of constant learning. Adaptability has emerged as a crucial lesson. In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, the ability to pivot and adjust course quickly is essential. Whether it's responding to community feedback, refining our business model, or navigating unforeseen challenges, flexibility is key.
Furthermore, collaboration has proven invaluable. Building a successful business is hardly a single endeavor. Surrounding ourselves with a talented, supportive team has made all the difference. By leveraging each other's strengths and working towards a common goal, we're achieving far more than we ever could alone.
What Am I Learning About Myself?
On a personal note, this journey has been a profound lesson in resilience and self-discovery. Moments of doubt and uncertainty have been plentiful, but through them, I've learned to trust my abilities and keep pushing forward, even when the path ahead seems daunting.
Embracing vulnerability and risk-taking have also been significant revelations. Launching My African Food Chef required a leap of faith, teaching me that growth often lies beyond our comfort zones. By embracing the unknown, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities for learning, growth, and transformation.
In conclusion, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to each of you who've been part of this incredible journey. Your support means the world, and we're grateful to have you along for the ride. Here's to many more delicious adventures together!
With love and gratitude, DANIEL MADU Founder, My African Food Chef
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HI SNOOKUMS ILY🫶🏼 HOPE YOU'RE BEING KIND TO YOURSELF! also i’ve been doing some thinking and i’m an only child so by proxy, i have an issue with sharing so like… nanami... get lost :/ jk lol
ANYWAYS the weather’s still cold but bearable and the snow’s already melting and the weather forecast says upper 40’s for the week, but then again it also said only monday would be 5℉ and it was in the negatives the entire weekend so… we’ll see 🤡
got a whole chicken so planning to break it down into filets and use it for chicken soup! but that bento and seafood sounded yum! i wish for your mom to have infinite health, love, and joy for many more birthdays to come! 🥰
be careful when driving home in the rain, i’ve managed to catch a cold from standing in the rain without cover so i expect you to dress accordingly and stay warm and cozy too! proud of you for what you’ve accomplished this week, i’ve lost my sense of time and somehow it’s already thursday! prep for the weekend, we’re almost there!!! hope you’re having a lovely morning, afternoon, and night when you’re reading this. i love you sosososo much daisy!!!<3
it's you and me, wifey, forever and ever! sorry nanami, he'll never stand a chance against my snookums ♥️
at least it's warming up! keep staying cozy in your big blanket burrito! were you able to enjoy the snow at all before it melted?
omg!!! I am constantly impressed by your culinary skills! breaking down a whole chicken is so intimidating to me, I've seen videos of celebrity chefs doing it expertly and I could never! homemade chicken soup sounds so wonderful, I already feel warm just thinking about it, especially when it's made by you. 🥰
I have been managing the rain fine so far, thank you for the concern as always! I can't believe it's Thursday already too, though I'll admit, I think this month has been going by ridiculously slow. it feels like months have passed but it's only been three weeks 🙃 but yes, we are almost there!
I hope today and the rest of this week treats you kindly! sending you all my love as always thea ❤️❤️❤️
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sO I've quite always been Feral for Cassian Andor, and with his new show out I'm even more feral, especially after reading your Cassian stuff which is *chef's kiss* literal perfection.
I'd like to submit a Kinktober request, and if I do it wrong just, like, literally yeet me into the sun.
Can I get a breeding + floor sex + "Shhh. There's people in the other room." with a Mr. Captain Cassian Andor, please and thank you? 🥺
(hi hi thank you so much 🧡! i hope you enjoy this!)
Crossing Lines
(sequel to Off Limits)
Cassian Andor x f!reader
Summary: With the promise of your long-awaited freedom from the Empire just on the horizon, you and Cassian have a risky celebration the evening before your escape.
Word Count: 1.3k
Rating: 18+ EXPLICIT
Content: NSFW, smut, floor sex, forbidden relationship, established relationship, unprotected p in v, creampie, fingering, dirty talk, cassian's filthy mouth, breeding kink, cockwarming
A/N: This is a sequel to Off Limits. I'd suggest reading that first for full context if you want to understand the plot!
MASTERLIST || MORE KINKTOBER
Cassian Andor.
His name was Cassian Andor.
Though he was initially hesitant to tell you much of anything at all, countless nights spent together after your first dalliance loosened his lips considerably. Your suspicions that something seemed off about your Imperial guard were proven to be correct—he was a spy for the Rebel Alliance. And if you were both lucky, you’d be escaping this miserable planet with him when all was said and done.
While Cassian was well aware of your disdain for the Empire, something which you’d made abundantly clear long before his mouth laid claim to yours, he was surprised when you whispered to him in the darkness of your room one evening, asking if you could join the Rebellion. He’d been planning to pilfer you from the clutches of your Imperial general father one way or another before taking his leave, but he’d expected that you’d want to take off on your own to find a quiet planet on the Outer Rim to disappear into anonymity.
But no, you wanted to fight.
And Cassian could hardly turn down the opportunity not to let you slip through his stained, battered hands.
The union of your bodies brought you together, and you continued to tread a dangerous path as Cassian discreetly took you to bed each evening, taking his duties as your “assigned guard” a bit more literally than your father had likely intended as he fucked you deep and slow until you were a trembling mess in his arms. But it’s what came after that found him nestling deep into the crevices of your heart—the hushed, soft conversation across the expanse of your pillow as Cassian gradually dropped down the walls of his hardened exterior bit by bit and let you see inside.
After his name came his story—from his heartbreaking childhood to all of the harrowing, traumatic, and tumultuous years that eventually found him rooted deep in the heart of the Rebellion, a cause that, while he hadn’t believed in it at first, was now the one thing that kept him standing despite the demons of his past that chased him. The memories of the blood on his hands, the choices he’d had to make.
“You’re a good man, Cassian,” you’d told him, letting your nose brush against his.
“I’m glad you think so,” he’d breathed out, cupping your cheek and running a thumb across your jaw.
–
Cassian had already managed to gather a goldmine of information while stationed a room away from where your father often discussed Imperial tactics and planning with his fellow officers, but with your added help, the information you left the planet with would be priceless.
The night before you were both set to flee, you and Cassian took a chance at sneaking into a building where you were convinced your father had stored several crucial files that could change the game entirely for the Rebellion. Your hunch ended up being correct, and while you both still kneeled on the floor after working together to pry the hard drive from the computer sitting beside you, Cassian surged forward and kissed you as you both laughed in elation at your success.
Perhaps it was the taste of freedom on the tip of your tongue that let you grow reckless, but as Cassian’s stubble brushed against your cheek, you couldn’t help but relax your jaw to deepen the kiss, inviting his tongue to probe further into your mouth. Rather than pull away and find a more inconspicuous place to continue, you let yourself slowly sink to the floor, grabbing the front of Cassian’s uniform to pull him down on top of you.
“Right here?” he asked breathlessly as he broke the kiss, both of you all too aware of the sounds of footsteps echoing down the hallways and muffled voices nearby. While you’d barricaded the door the moment you entered the room, it was risky nonetheless.
“We can’t go anywhere until the shift changeover, anyway. Might as well get comfortable,” you responded with a smirk.
Cassian shook his head, grinning, before he leaned in to nip at your bottom lip. Your hands trailed a familiar path down his chest, slipping his straining erection from his pants. In turn, he tugged down your bottoms, helping you pull one leg free so you could spread your thighs wide for him. He teased your damp entrance with two digits before thrusting them inside, and you moaned.
“Shhh,” Cassian hushed you. “There are people in the other room.”
You snapped your mouth shut, but when the silence was then punctuated by the wet, lewd sounds of his digits plunging in and out of your fluttering cunt, a bitten off whine managed to escape your lips.
“But I bet you want them to hear...don’t you? You want them to walk in here and see you, the general’s daughter, spread out on the floor for me, whimpering and desperate to be fucked and filled.”
Lining himself up with your entrance, Cassian wiped the head of his shaft through your slick folds.
“You want them to watch while I stuff my cock into your tight little cunt, a dirty, filthy Rebel fucking the Empire’s finest.”
“Cassian—” his name punched out of you as he buried himself in you to the hilt, your tight walls stretching to accommodate his length.
“You want them to know how filthy you are, too. How you beg me to pump my cum into you every single night. How nobody knows you sit at that table for dinner with your family while my seed still drips from your messy little hole.”
He drug his shaft from you slowly, only to penetrate you once more with a swift, brutal snap of his hips, and you gasped as he slammed into your cervix. The floor was hard and cold beneath you, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.
“I watch you drink that tea every morning, but I know you want those bastards to see just how badly you want to be bred, your belly full and round for the Alliance. For me.”
Heat pooled in your gut as Cassian’s cock massaged your inner walls at a relentless pace, and you arched your back up into his thrusts, wrapping your legs firmly around his waist.
“You want the whole Empire to know you’re mine.”
He sought out your mouth in a bruising kiss, licking across the seam of your mouth and taking claim of your bottom lip with his teeth, and you threaded a hand into his messy hair while fisting another in the front of his shirt.
“Yes,” you managed to get out in between the stilted moans you were doing your best to swallow down.
For all the tenderness that Cassian regarded you with normally, he quickly learned exactly what his filthy mouth did to you, and he used it to his advantage to consistently turn you into a simpering mess in his arms.
“When I get you back to the base, I’ll fuck you properly, and you can scream as loud as you want while your tight little cunt gushes all over my cock.”
With the promise of what was still to come lingering between you, Cassian clapped a hand over your mouth as he felt you clench down on him, muffling your choked out sob as the ache between your thighs bloomed white-hot and exploded, your entire body writhing with the force of your orgasm. He dropped his head down to mouth at your collarbone as his shaft began to pulse, painting your inner walls with his hot seed.
Even after the last of his cum finished pouring into your womb, you kept your legs wrapped tightly around Cassian’s waist, relishing the feeling of his softening cock nestled inside of you. He pressed an affectionate flurry of kisses across the curve of your jaw.
Turning your head slightly to capture his mouth with your own, you asked, “I mean…do we have to wait until we get back to the base? You do have a ship.”
---
#dameronscopilot kinktober#kinktober#cassian andor#cassian andor fanfiction#diego luna fanfiction#cassian andor smut#star wars smut#star wars fanfiction#cassian andor x reader#andor#andor x reader
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Oh, love
Summary: It takes a year of trial and error, of love and heartbreak, for the two to finally realize there's no one else they'd rather be with. Or in which she becomes they're photographer for a summer tour and falls in love with the dark haired drummer.
Word Count: 10.3k
Warnings: swearing, angst, sexual content
A/N: I just want to say a huge thank you to @ethanesimp for proofreading and hyping this fic up, thank you so much amore! This is the first piece I've written for any of the members of maneskin, and also the longest thing I've ever written! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
January
It’s a call in the middle of the day that begins it all. She’s been in a shoot all morning, running around snapping photos of a wanna-be teen idol. She’s been here many times, being hired to do promo shots for someone who never makes it farther than this. But this call, she knows it’s different. She’s heard the name, seen some videos, she knows this won’t be like the rest. She’s instructed to clear her schedule for the week and to be in Rome by the end of the day.
The cold air hits her as she leaves the building, suitcase and camera bag in hand. This is the moment she’s been waiting for since joining the company, the chance to become a permanent fixture instead of hopping from gig to gig. She’s told that they requested her specifically, that one of the band members saw her collection from a festival last summer and was dead set on booking her for their summer tour. It’s all new to her, the feeling of being the first choice and not second best. She barely hears anything that’s said on the plane by their manager, too busy trying not to freak out.
It’s only a few hours plane ride, but it feels like a lifetime. Thoughts run wild in her head as the seconds tick by, she can’t remember the last time she’d been this excited, or nervous, for something. She’s greeted by more people from their team as she steps off the plane, and is quickly ushered to the villa they’ve been staying in. She barely has time to process the beautiful new city she’s in before she’s hidden by walls of an even more beautiful place.
They give her time to relax and unpack, but clear instructions to not leave the property without security. Things have been crazy, she’s told, since their winning last year fans have become more clever with their tactics. She laughs at some of the stories, but heeds the warning all the same. She’s seen quite a few things that have shaken her to her core, so she knows to be careful and wary.
Music floats through the halls and into her room, the band practicing on the other side of the villa. The music fills her veins with a feeling she can’t quite place, but it’s a welcome humming that gets her blood pumping. She grabs her camera and follows the melodies, laughing at the jokes thrown around in english whenever someone messes up. She angles herself behind a corner just right where she can take pictures while still being hidden from the band.
Her heart races at the scene in front of her. It’s a family like she’s never seen. They all seem to orbit around each other, pushing and pulling each other into their atmospheres. She watches Victoria dance around the room, bass in hand, strumming the lines to an old song. Thomas lays on the floor with a notebook reading off words, Damiano repeating them as he draws on eyeliner. And Ethan, who sits at his drum set, twirling the drumsticks in his hand as he observes the scene before him.
She captures picture after picture of their dynamic, taking the most of Ethan, who seems to have a magnetic pull to him. She only pulls herself from the moment when she’s spotted. “Sai, qualcuno chiamerebbe questo strano comportamento.”
The words are warm against her ear, and she jumps at the unexpected presence. She turns around, laughing to hide her embarrassment, trying to translate the words in her head. She freezes when she sees it’s Ethan, trying to figure out when he slipped away from the rest of the group.
“Ah, niente italiano. Er, it’s unusual, what you are doing.”
Another nervous laugh leaves her lips, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be creepy. There’s something about the way the group is when no one is watching, it’s hard to ignore, it needed to be captured.”
He smiles at that. It’s soft and warm and she feels as if the world has stopped spinning. A song plays between their hearts as a silence falls over them. There’s a beauty about him that makes it hard to focus on anything but him.
A series of crashes followed by loud curses in Italian breaks the spell that they were under and Ethan pulls himself away from her to go and manage his friends. She uses this moment as an excuse to slip away and tour the rest of the house, ending in the kitchen where dinner is being prepared. She snaps a few photos of the chefs cooking, already envisioning the blog post they’ll go along with.
When everyone has made their way to the dining room a toast is made; to new adventures, to new friends, and to family. Sweet wine and light rain makes the time pass faster and the evening flows into night easily. The group parts only moments after midnight, long days ahead calling them to catch up on sleep now.
The month flows by with days and nights blurring together. It seems the studio is really the only place they call home, spending every waking moment in the room that houses their instruments. She stays with them through the long hours, snapping photos of the weird things they get themselves up to. Her hard drive slowly fills with collections of each band member, ones for the public eye and ones she sends to them to make them laugh.
The end of the month brings a party, something small to celebrate sold out tour dates. A night out to a local bar and far too many drinks. She dances with Victoria, who has become her best friend in the few weeks she’s been with them. Damiano and his girlfriend are not far away, but much more caught up in their own world. Thomas has disappeared somewhere, no doubt warming someone's bed for the night. But through all the commotion, she can’t stop watching Ethan.
He’s sitting at a table nursing the only drink he’s had that night, planning to take on the role of babysitter at the end of the night once everyones had too much to drink. He drums his fingers on the table, following the beat of each song that plays. He seems lost in his own world, content with being by himself. She moves away from Victoria, who easily finds another partner, and makes her way to the table.
“Sembri solo,” the words fall from her lips quietly as she takes a seat beside him.
He smiles at her, “Seems your little lessons are paying off.”
She blushes at that, not realizing he’d picked up on her daily lessons with their English tutor. “Only enough to not seem like a tourist.”
A small chuckle escapes his lips, and she wishes she could bottle the sound.
“But don’t change the subject. Tonight was about having fun, celebrating a big accomplishment. Yet you’re sitting here alone.”
He sighs at her insistence, “Sometimes we don’t need to celebrate everything so publicly.”
Something pulls at her heart. She can’t imagine having such a public life, but she understands how it must feel to never have anything to yourself. Before she knows what she’s doing, she places a hand on his arm and gives it a reassuring squeeze, a light tingle shooting between the two of them.
She pulls her hand away quickly, a small blush forming on both their cheeks. He offers her a small smile to make the moment less awkward, and she returns it.
The night ends not too much later, the rest of the crew having decided that warm beds would be much more comfortable than the crowded bar. She helps Ethan herd their friends home, laughing along with him at their drunken antics. Victoria jokingly calls them mom and dad as they help her to bed, and the blush that was plastered on her face earlier that night makes a second appearance.
It’s almost morning by the time she makes it to her own room. Ethan isn’t far behind her, realizing for the first time tonight that they share the same hallway. “Buona notte,” comes his voice from down the hall.
She turns to face him, catching herself stuck in his stare. She can’t quite place the look in his eyes, but it gives her butterflies all the same.
“Buona notte.”
February
February brings more time in the studio and less time outside the walls of the Villa. While winter in Rome is not like the ones you’d experience in colder places, it still brings a chill to her bones. She steals one of Victoria's sweaters after a night spent lounging under the stars, a small break from a busy schedule.
A fire had been lit and a bottle of sweet wine was making its way around the group. She’d set her camera aside for the evening, planning on enjoying a night without the calls of work. She doesn’t know when it happens, but suddenly she’s swaying to a drunken beat in the arms of Damiano who can’t stop giggling at her two left feet. The man had not believed her when she said she couldn’t dance, but was now biting his tongue as they moved around the courtyard.
As the night seemed to come to a lull, a game of truth or dare was proposed and all were in agreement. She finds herself sitting beside Thomas on the floor as Victoria begins the game, a stupid dare aimed towards Damiano that earns him a new haircut. The night drags on in a flurry of laughter and silly dares. By midnight half the group is wearing someone else’s clothes, and the others have barely any on.
She’s moved to be sitting by Ethan, who has an arm casually draped across her shoulder. It shouldn’t feel so electric, his skin touching hers, but it does and it’s the only thing she can focus on. Her heart feels like it’s almost beating out of her chest and the blush on her face isn’t caused by the alcohol in her system.
Damiano is the first to notice her situation, and starts poking fun at her whenever it was his turn to ask her something. It started off innocent enough, small questions aimed towards her love life, but it soon caught the attention of Thomas who was the first one to issue a dare towards the girl. This was how she’d ended up sitting beside Ethan, cuddled into his side. Ethan was oblivious to the things going on around them, until Victoria dared her to kiss him.
It seems as though time stops, the laughter fades and the silence becomes deafening. She turns towards Ethan, a mixture of panic and excitement painted on her face. He smiles at her, “We don’t have to, amore.”
“A dares a dare.” She shrugs at him.
A round of cheers raises up around them as the two lean in. It’s meant to be only a small peck, something good enough to count in the eyes of those around them. But as she goes to pull away his hand reaches up to tangle in her hair and he pulls her closer. Their lips meet again without any hesitation and it’s like the world lights up around them. Blame it on the alcohol, but if she were to die right now she’d be happy.
They pull away a second later, a small laugh leaving both of them, chests rising at an unsteady rhythm.
“Awe, they’re blushing! How cute!” Comes the voice of Damiano, further pulling a blush from the girl.
She grabs one of the pillows beside her and aims it at his head, laughing when she misses terribly.
The night fades into morning and they all climb to the roof to watch the sunrise. It’s a moment she wants tattooed in her memories forever. She’s got her arms wrapped around Victoria and the three boys huddle around them, alcohol still flows through their veins and they’re all singing different versions of the same song.
March
The beginning of spring in Rome is magical. Flowers start to bloom, mornings are coated in a light dusting of rain, and clothing starts to become less of a necessity. She takes photos of the band trapezing the streets. The Villa studio has become too familiar, moving instead to a studio in the city.
By now, a routine has been put in place. Mornings sipping coffee and eating fresh pastries while she laughs at the varying states of wake the band is in. Afternoons in the studio, recording their new album while she collects photos and videos for their ‘making of’. Evenings spent in restaurants and bars, eating some of the best food she’s ever had, and she swears she’ll never eat anything better.
She’s never fallen in love with a city like this before. Maybe it’s the city, or maybe it’s the people she’s with, but she swears she never wants to leave. It suffocates her in the best way possible, the feeling of being home. She hopes that when the tours over and her contracts up, that she’ll move here, maybe even keep these people she’s grown so close to in the past few months.
She’s thrown out of the daydream by Thomas yelling at her in a mix of italian and english for not paying attention. It’s the middle of the afternoon, they’ve taken a lunch break at a restaurant down the block, and Thomas is expressively telling a story. His hands are in the air and he’s almost knocked his wine glass over too many times to count.
Damiano sits across from her, fiddling with her camera, snapping his own photos that he presents to her proudly. She laughs at every one, but never discourages his actions. Victoria is on her left, Ethan on her right, both vying for her approval as they argue over something. She’s overwhelmed by the different directions her brain is being tugged, but the hand that snakes its way into hers calms her.
She looks down to see Ethan rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand, a soft smile grazing his lips as they make eye contact. She returns it, whispering a small thank you to the boy.
That night, she lays in bed, in the room she’s begun to finally call hers, thinking of the boy with stars in his eyes. She doesn’t know if it’s feeling like she finally belongs somewhere, or the wine that still coats her veins, but there’s something about him that she wishes she could become a part of. She wants to wrap herself in it and never leave. She’s falling for him, hard. Vaffanculo.
April
It is Victoria's birthday and everyone has decided that she must be princess for the day. Ethan and Damiano have been up since dawn making an extravagant breakfast, something that should be put in a five star restaurant. Her and Thomas had disappeared shortly after waking, returning with a stack of presents that was almost as tall as him, and the best bouquet of flowers she could find.
After decorating the patio with anything and everything they could find, it was a mad dash to Victoria's room to wake her up. She protested, claiming that sleep was more important than being awake, but at the mention of presents she was the first one out of the room.
It was a morning of happiness, and a much needed break from their hectic schedule. She recorded the entire day, from the dramatic wake up call to the celebratory sparklers that were set off that night, it was all captured.
After breakfast the princess requested a trip to the beach, and no one would dare refuse her. They found something private, a little hidden oasis an hour's drive from the villa. They spend hours there, switching between swimming and laying in the sun. She finds herself alone on the sand with Ethan at one point, watching the others like proud parents.
She tries not to think about how close his body feels to her, how she can feel the heat his body is radiating seeping into her, the smell of his body wash. He’s invading all of her senses and she’s trying so hard to focus on anything but him. “Let’s go on a walk?”
His voice is warm as the question escapes his lips. She turns to look at him and she’s thankful to be able to blame the sun for the blush on her cheeks. She nods and gets up to follow him, brushing off the sand that’s clinging to her bathing suit and wrapping a towel around her shoulders.
They disappear down the beach, walking side by side, a comfortable silence enveloping them. It’s not till they’re halfway down the beach that either of them speaks. “Are you enjoying your time?”
She doesn’t miss the hint of worry that laces his voice, and she’s quick to reassure him that she is. “Yes, very much. This is probably the best job I’ve had in years.”
He softly chuckles at her words, “Good. Good. We’re trying to make you feel like one of us, don’t want you running away.”
She’s grateful for the confession, glad that they don’t see her as just another person that works for them. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”
He bumps her shoulder with his, a small smile forming on his face, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
They head back to the group soon after, realizing they’ve let the day slip away and need to leave soon if they want to make their dinner reservations.
A small vineyard hidden in the valley, they’ve booked the place so it’s just them, and ordered every bottle of wine on the menu to taste. They laugh away the night, enjoying plates of delicious food and letting their minds wander. A gorgeous cake is brought out at the end, half of which ends up destroyed thanks to an impromptu food fight. More presents are opened and Victoria starts tearing up, blubbering about how much she loves the idiots she’s surrounded with.
They walk through the dark streets of Rome, singing happy birthday loudly in every language they know. It’s unusually cold, but she’s somehow been wrapped in Ethan’s jacket, his arm slung over her shoulder. She’s holding Vic’s hand, Damiano and Thomas taking turns with her camera.
The air surrounding them is electrified, she looks up into the sky and thanks the stars for the life she’s living.
May
The summer tour is fast approaching, and nerves are starting to set in. The already high energy group somehow is bouncing off the walls even more, making for an interesting collection of photos. Nerves are starting to get the better of them, and she often finds one of them wandering around the Villa at odd hours of the night. She’s good at being able to channel her nerves into something else, focusing all of the energy on a new project.
One night though, it gets the better of her. She tosses and turns in her bed for hours before she decides that sleep isn’t coming. Instead of lying in bed willing her brain to shut off, she throws on a pair of shoes and heads for the front door, thinking a walk in the warm spring air will do her some good. What she doesn’t expect to find is Ethan sitting out on the terrace, cigarette in one hand and a book in the other, lost in his own world.
She doesn’t mean to catch his attention, hoping to allow him this little bit of uninterrupted peace, but he spots her anyway. “Buona serata,” He rasps, voice laced with the quietness of the night.
“Buona serata, Ethan.” She returns the greeting.
He motions for her to sit down in the chair beside him, closing the book and placing it on the table. “What’s troubling your mind tonight?”
She’s not used to the way someone can read her so well, but there’s something about Ethan that brings her comfort in the fact that he can. “Nerves, I guess. I’ve never done a gig this big, never spent so much time with one group. I’m used to being moved around a lot, still getting used to being a permanent fixture I guess.”
The words are heavy on her tongue, never having voiced her worries out loud before. He takes a long drag of the cigarette hanging from his lips, “La vita ci dà solo ciò che sa che possiamo gestire.”
“Some would think you were a poet in a past life.”
A small laugh escapes his lips, and he shakes his head. A comfortable silence falls over them and she wishes she could bottle this feeling to keep with her forever. He turns to look at her, and it’s hard to put into words the feeling that washes over him. He’s not sure where it comes from, the urge to kiss her, but it sends him spiralling.
He reaches his hand up to brush a few strands of hair out of her face, “Le stelle brillano più luminose nei tuoi occhi, amore.”
The words and his actions cause her heart to raise and her breath to hitch. They’re close now, the closest they’ve been since that night in February, and all she can think about is that kiss that they shared.
Neither knows who leaned in first, but suddenly their lips are touching and it is everything and nothing like they remembered. While the other kiss had been hesitant and brief, this one was full of purpose. Their noses brush and their breaths tangle together, he bits her lip for a moment and a small moan escapes her. He swears it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.
He grabs at her hips, lifting her from the chair and placing her so she’s straddling his lap. She tangles her fingers in his hair and tugs softly, earning a groan from the man. The sound sends shockwaves through her and she rocks her hips against his almost involuntarily. His lips move from hers to the side of her neck, pulling small whimpers from her as he nips and sucks at the skin. It’s everything she’s ever imagined and more. The feeling of his body pressed to hers, the pleasure he can so easily give to her.
She moves her hands down to fumble with the hem of his shirt and that’s when he pulls away. “While I would normally love to do that here, how about we continue this somewhere more private?”
She nods eagerly and removes herself from his lap. He all but drags her inside the villa and towards his room. She trips over her own feet and they both laugh at her clumsiness, falling into each other as he tries to catch her but trips over his own feet in turn. He leans in to kiss her again as their bodies collide, this one sweeter and softer than the previous one.
The moment passes quickly and soon she’s being dragged through the halls again, only to be met with a half asleep Damiano standing in the doorway of his room. They stop in their tracks, jumping apart, trying to act like nothing was happening. “It’s rude to have a party and not invite everyone, you know.”
She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, glad that he didn’t know what had been happening moments prior. Ethan is quick to explain that they were just having a cup of tea on the terrace and were now heading to bed, and thankfully the lie is believed. Damiano wishes them a goodnight, heading back into his room, and the two are left in silence in the hallway.
“Maybe we should go to bed,” he whispers to her.
Her heart sinks, but she nods her head in agreement and turns to walk back down the hall to her room. She’s not really sure how the night was going to end, but this was definitely not how she wanted it to; walking in silence next to someone her heart aches for, pretending that nothing had happened between them.
He walks her up to her door, still ever the gentleman, and places a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Buona notte, amore.”
The words should not sound as sad as they do, and she tries her hardest to keep the tears welling up in her eyes at bay as she watches him turn and walk away.
June
How do you go back to being just friends after making out with someone? Well, you don’t. At least, not fully. They dance around each other without knowing it, avoiding any contact that could lead to something more or allude to something else, but there are still moments where the world seems to slip away and it’s just the two of them.
The tour kicks off at a festival in Amsterdam. Blue skies and sunny days greet them as they get off the plane. They have a day to explore before their first show, and no one can decide how to spend it. In the end, Victoria drags Thomas off to do some shopping, Damiano plans a trip to a few museums with his girlfriend, and she is left with Ethan.
She’s not truly stuck with him, but she doesn’t feel like wandering a forgein city all by herself. Since the night in the Villa, they haven’t spent longer than a few minutes alone together, both refusing to acknowledge what had happened.
A trip to the beach seems like the best place to be, and within the hour she’s lounging in the sun listening to Ethan read a book. It’s peaceful, the sound of the waves and his voice lulling her into a half sleep. She’s got a drink in her hands, something sweet and fruity, and she’s sharing a cigarette with Ethan. It’s a scene she thinks one would find in a movie.
She rolls herself over so she’s laying on her back, staring up at Ethan who sits beside her. She places her hand on his leg and traces random shapes into his skin. Goosebumps rise in the wake of her fingertips, and he tries to stay focused on the book in his hands but finds it hard to do so. “You are very distracting, amore.”
She looks up at him innocently and she can’t help but admire him. His hair is tucked away in a bun, but a few pieces have fallen out and are flying in the gentle breeze. He’s only wearing a pair of swim trunks, broad chest on full display. He catches her roaming eyes as they make their way back to his face, a smirk slowly forming on his face. “Or maybe I’m the one distracting you, no?”
She smiles shyly and looks away from him, because yes, he is distracting her, and she’s finding it very hard to not kiss him right now. He chuckles at her, reaching his hand towards her face and turning it back towards him. He leans down towards her, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”
All she can do is nod, and a second later his lips are on hers. It’s sweet and slow, she can taste the tobacco on his lips and it’s intoxicating. She moves so she’s sitting up, leaning into him more, the world around them fading out until all that is left is them.
A few days later they find themselves in a hotel room in Munich. There’s music playing and everyone’s laughing. Her camera hasn’t left her hands all night, every moment needing to be captured as they ride the after show high.
She’s in the middle of recording Thomas’ one man act when a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist. She knows exactly who it is by the scent that invades her nostrils and sends her brain into overdrive. She lets out a sudden, loud laugh, as his fingers trace themselves up and down her sides, collapsing into his chest as she struggles to breath.
He picks her up and spins her around, letting out an equally loud laugh at her protests. He’s happy, and it’s something that looks better on him than any designer outfit he could ever buy.
He falls onto one of the beds, pulling her down with him. She lands beside him tangled in his arms, he’s looking at her with a goofy grin on his face. The world seems to silence around them as their eyes lock. Her smile softens and she reaches her hand over to brush an eyelash off his cheek, he catches her hand before she can pull it away and brings it to his lips, kissing it gently.
He looks ethereal in this moment, hair strewn all over the place, a wild look in his eyes. She reaches for her camera and brings it up to capture him, never wanting to forget this moment.
The streets of Prague are empty, save for the two of them walking hand in hand down them. It’s early, almost too early to be considered an acceptable time to be awake, but they continue on nonetheless. A wild craving for something sweet had brought upon their adventure, and with the look she was giving him, he couldn’t say no to accompanying her.
They had been sitting on the balcony of her hotel room, watching the sun starting to peak out over the horizon and sharing a cigarette when she had turned to him with a mischievous look in her eyes. “I want something sweet.”
The comment had earned her an offer to order room service, but she shakes her head at the idea, standing up and walking back into the room. “No. Something real, maybe a coffee too.”
He follows her in, watching her pull on a shirt to cover the bralette she had been sitting in. “È presto, amore. Let’s go to bed. We can order something when the sun is awake also.”
She smiles at his words, but makes no move to stop dressing. She grabs her wallet and room key before heading to the door, stopping to turn and look at him, a question in her eyes.
“Fine, I’ll come with you.” He says after a moment, throwing on his jacket and walking over to her.
It’s 7:30 in the morning, the sun is starting to make it’s daily appearance, and they are happy. The small bakery they stumble into is just opening for the day and they’re greeted by the owner, an older lady with the sweetest smile. She speaks in broken English, an obvious language barrier between the group of them, but no one seems to mind.
She orders herself a poppy strudel and a coffee, Ethan ordering a croissant and an espresso, before sitting down at one of the small tables. He sits beside her, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side. He presses a soft kiss into the crown of her head and she sighs in content.
Moments like this are what she lives for. She might only be here because she works for them, but somewhere along the way she’s become part of their little family. She looks over to Ethan who’s lost in conversation with the owner, and she whispers to herself, “Penso di essermi innamorato di te.”
She doesn’t know that he hears her, his smile spreading wider across his face.
July
The turnover from June to July happens mid concert in Stockholm. She swears she can feel it, the sudden shift, a slight change in the air. She’s running around in front of the stage capturing pictures of the band in what she’s come to call their ‘natural habitat’. There’s an indescribable buzz in the air as they perform, the crowd becoming louder and louder with each song.
She keeps catching Ethans eye and there’s something primal in the way he looks at her. During a song switch, while Damiano rambles to the crowd, he motions her on stage. He tells her to get closer to everyone, promising that they won’t bite, and she giggles at him. She does what he says nonetheless, capturing some up close photos of the band and a few great shots of the crowd.
All too soon the show is ending and everyone’s piling into the car, a small party taking place in the backseat. Damiano has music blasting from his phone, Victoria and Thomas are dancing along to the beat, and Ethan is belting out the lyrics. She watches the group of them, laughing so hard her sides hurt, and she’s never felt more at home.
When they get to the hotel he’s quick to pull her towards his room, thankfully void of a roommate for the night. The second they get into the room, his lips are on hers. He pulls her close to his body and her hands tangle themselves in his hair. It’s nothing like any of their previous kisses, it’s heated and fast, every thought trying to be conveyed by the fever of it. She pulls back slightly to catch her breath and he leans in to whisper in her ear, “Join me in the shower?”
It’s not so much a question as a statement, but she nods her head eagerly, quick to follow him into the bathroom. He strips himself of the few clothes he’s wearing (most having been thrown off during the show), before turning to her. He reaches his arms out towards her, pulling her close to him and tugging on her shirt. She barely registers him pulling off her clothes, too focused on his body in front of her.
She’s never seen him so bare, and she’s having a hard time focussing on anything else. It’s not until her body hits the warm water that she snaps back to reality. He looks wild, eyes blown with lust, a wicked smile on his face. She firmly plants her lips on his, moaning into the kiss as he grabs at her. His hands are skilled and know every way to pull those delicious sounds from her lips.
It’s quick and dirty, and it is everything she has ever imagined it would be.
An hour later, she’s tangled up in the sheets of his bed, his entire being engulfing her as they watch the stars outside the window. She wonders if they are watching them too.
Paris is the city of lights, a statement she’s never been more sure of. The streets are lit with every light, shining brighter than the stars. She’s in a permanent state of bliss, after the night she shared with Ethan. Their relationship is hidden from the public, living in stolen moments and nights in hotel rooms, but she’s never been happier to be someone's dirty secret.
The band is electric on stage, something about the city they’re in taking their performance to a whole new level. The show goes on longer than it should have, but none of them even care when their manager comes over to reprimand them. They hang around to greet fans and take photos with anyone and everyone, and it’s not until security has to kick them out that they finally leave.
They find themselves in a bar, not sure what part of the city they’re in, but no one cares when the night feels like this. They drink expensive drinks that they can’t pronounce the name of, dance to songs they don’t know the words to, and feel more alive than they’ve ever felt. It’s like the world turned itself up to 11 just for them.
She dances with Ethan, not caring who sees because the night is theirs and no one cares. She kisses him in the middle of the dance floor and he pulls her into a vacant bathroom. It’s hot and heavy and the smell of alcohol envelopes them, but they couldn’t care less. Is this love? They don’t care. They’re young and dumb, and well, you only live once.
Back at the hotel they spend the night wrapped in bedsheets on the balcony, a bottle of champagne and a pack of cigarettes shared between the two of them. He points to the stars, a stupid grin on his face, “Le stelle brillano solo per noi.”
She snorts, throwing an abandoned pillow at him. He grabs her arm and pulls her into him, tickling her sides until she’s begging him to stop, tears staining her cheeks but a laugh like no other leaving her lips.
As the night bleeds into morning, and both are hazy with sleep, he whispers to her, “Sei il mio universo.”
They walk down the streets of London, his arm slung over her shoulders as she rambles away, both blissfully unaware of the few fans snapping photos down the street. They don’t notice the group of girls following them, cameras and phones in hand, capturing picture after picture of the couple.
By the time they reach the shop, the photos are already out into the world.
As they order, reposts and comments start flowing, and their phones start lighting up with notifications.
Before they can pay, she’s crying.
Rule number one of being in the public eye; never look at the comments, distance yourself from social media as much as possible, it will never end well.
The final stop in Rome was supposed to be a welcome home. A big celebration was to occur after their last concert, but now, it’s nothing more than finding the quickest way back home. She sits in one of the dressing rooms the entire show, waiting for it to end, scrolling through her social media.
She knows she shouldn’t be, that’ll all it’s doing is hurting her, making her feel worse. But she can’t stop. The comments aimed towards her and the drummer are terrible, and she wishes she could just delete herself from existence. They aren’t even dating, at least not officially, but she’s been deemed the girlfriend from hell. She’s unknowingly stolen something that never belonged to anyone to begin with.
Damianos girlfriend is in the room with her, telling her of her own horror stories dealing with fans, and she knows she’s just trying to help, but she really wishes she would just shut up. She loves the girl to death, she’s been a blessing this entire time, but she feels her mind is too far gone to be saved from the madness.
It’s only a few minutes later that the band wanders in, the usual after show high replaced with a sudden heaviness. Ethan comes to stand by her after putting his things away and pulls her into a tight hug. “Amore mio.”
He’s sweaty and could definitely use a shower, but the hug is comforting. She rubs his back soothingly, knowing this is just as hard on him as it is on her. Their management team has told everyone to remain quiet about it, disappearing from the internet until further notice while they figure out how to manage the situation. It’s maddening, the inability to speak out and protect her. He wishes he could snap his fingers and everything would be fixed, but he knows nothing is ever that easy.
They make their way back to the villa in silence, the car filled with a strangeness. She’s sandwiched between Victoria and Ethan, leaning on the bassist's shoulder, watching her play a game on her phone. It’s not how anyone wanted to end the tour, but the world is a strange and cruel place. Everything good always comes burning down.
August
There’s a party at the villa one night. Things have calmed down enough that she doesn’t spiral every time she looks at her phone, but there’s something in the way Ethan acts around her that makes her uneasy. She’s standing out on the patio, trying to avoid the questioning eyes from everyone in the house. She hasn’t spoken to Ethan all day, and the alcohol coursing through her veins makes her even angrier than she knows she should be.
Out of the corner of her eye she sees him walk out the door beside her, a small scoff leaving her lips as he tries to speak to her.
“Couldn’t be bothered to talk to me all day, what’s changed that you’ve decided to grace me with your presence?”
He looks at her, stunned. “I don’t get what you mean.”
She scoffs again, placing her glass on the table across from her. “Since London you’ve done nothing but ignore me. I get that this wasn’t easy for you, but it wasn’t exactly a cake walk for me. I needed you, Ethan, and you left me.” Her voice is raw and scratchy, the feeling of wanting to cry tickling the back of her throat.
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how Dami does it, how he can deal with the comments and messages. My brain won’t shut off, I can’t stop thinking about how if I had been more careful, I could’ve protected you and none of this would’ve happened. I feel stupid for thinking I could have. I hate seeing you like this, I wish I could take you away from all of this.” His voice slowly lowers, till it’s nothing more than a whisper, words meant only for her.
“I was never what you wanted, was I? This was just all some stupid game to you. I was just someone you could use to get off.” Her voice is laced with pain, a small crack coming out as she speaks.
He shakes his head, laughing slightly, and turns to look away from her. He walks a few steps before turning to face her again, “No. No, you were exactly what I wanted. You were everything to me. We were the same type of crazy.”
“I don’t understand Ethan, then what was the problem? This feels like a confession and a break up all in one.” She crosses her arms and leans against the wall, watching as he pulls a cigarette out from his pocket and lights it.
The familiar sight creates something warm in her chest, memories of summer nights like this flash through her mind. Spending the evening sitting on the balcony of different hotel rooms, sharing a cigarette between the two of them while they let the events of the day soak in. She’d give anything to go back to one of those moments. He blows a breath of smoke out and starts to speak again, “I don’t know, amore. I don’t. I want to tell you I love you, to hold you and call you mine. But I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t.” It’s not a question, but a statement.
“No, don’t do that. Don’t turn this into something it’s not. I want to, believe me, I do.” He steps towards her and reaches out his arms, “But we both know we can’t.”
She doesn’t know where the tears come from, but they’re there, pooling in her eyes. It’s only been a few months since they’ve met, there were no promises to be anything more than a summer adventure, but this doesn’t feel right. Her heart should not be breaking at the thought of losing someone she barely even knows.
He stops when he notices her state, reaching out to wipe the tears falling down her cheeks. “Merda. Merda! This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.”
She looks up at him through clouded eyes, “Then how was this supposed to go, Ethan? Breaking my heart wasn’t supposed to hurt me this bad? I was supposed to smile and tell you that I'm not madly in love with you and these past few months meant nothing to me?”
His heart breaks slowly at her words. He never meant for the night to go this way, and he wishes he could just pull her into his arms and tell her he loved her, that everything could be okay. But he can’t, so he pulls away from her, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”
They’re the only words he can manage to get out without breaking down. He takes a second to watch her, memorize all the features of her face, before turning around and walking away. It’s a sight that rips her heart out, watching his form disappear back into the house. She knows this is it, the goodbye she’d been preparing for these past few weeks, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
Before she can help herself, she’s calling after him. “Being in love isn’t a weakness, you know!” But the words fall upon deaf ears.
Vic finds her standing in the same spot an hour later. She’s got a smoke lit in her hand, the third one from the pack. She hasn’t touched her lips to any of them, but the smell and the feeling of holding it brings her comfort. She was never really one to smoke, but she found it entrancing to watch Ethan do it, and right now, it’s the only thing keeping her grounded. It’s silly, how something so small can mean so much.
Her heart aches in the most unbearable way, but she can’t bring herself to do anything about it. Vic doesn’t speak, just stands beside her. She doesn’t need to ask to know that she is well aware of the events that have just unfolded, she’s just grateful for the company.
September
It’s stupidly hot in London for the time of year, but mother nature loves her unexpected heat waves. She’s home now, having left Rome shortly after the fight with Ethan, assuring their manager that she would be able to edit and upload all of the photos and videos from the comfort of her own flat.
Vic and Thomas had driven her to the airport, had walked her all the way to security and hugged her tightly before letting her go. She’d promised to keep in touch and Victoria had made her pinky swear that if she was ever in Rome again, she’d come visit. The flight was short, and she was glad the time difference was only an hour.
Her sister had picked her up and dropped her off at her flat, and she’d immediately collapsed into bed. That was three days ago, she’d barely moved since. Someone had caught her at the airport and the photos were everywhere, articles upon articles had been released, she’d had non stop messages from everyone, but all she could bring herself to do was turn her phone off.
Her photos make it to the front of magazines, her articles getting featured all over the globe, she’s made a name for herself. She gets emails from prospective clients wanting to book her in at shows, her boss sending her information for more high end gigs, but all she can think about is her drummer boy.
Her phone still sits turned off on her desk, she refuses to turn it on for anything, resorting to using only her email, but she knows everything that’s going on with the band. She’d been asked to join them again in a few months, to become a permanent part of their team. She hasn’t been able to reply.
She gets panicky thinking about seeing him again, about the things people will say if she’s caught in the same country as him. She’s stopped receiving death threats, but there’s still comments that creep in, fans thanking whatever gods made them seperate.
Victoria tries to reach out every few days, worried about the state of person she’s become, but she can’t even manage to type out an I’m okay. The world seems to be too fast and too slow, too bright and too dark, too much and not enough. Her heart aches and it’s a pain so deep she thinks she’ll never be okay again. Love is a cruel, cruel creature.
October
She finally brings herself to go back to work at the beginning of the month. She books herself in for a small band, someone no one really knows but she hopes they will one day. She’s in Amsterdam now, trying hard not to think of the memories the place brings. The band is good, the music heavy and the beat strong. They find a way to tell a story that leaves everyone with a soul searching question by the end of the night. Do you know who you are?
She’s only with them for a few nights, a short gig, but something she needed to get the ball rolling, to remember why she was doing this in the first place. After submitting the photos and writing an article that sends another wave of offers her way, she takes a few days to explore the city. It was wonderful before, when the air was warm and it felt like there was magic enveloping the city. But now, with the change of seasons, it’s even more beautiful than she remembers.
She walks the empty streets one night, huddled in the safety of her hoodie, camera in hand, and captures moments. A couple standing under a street light, a cafe closing for the night, kids running. It’s not until she hears a laugh she’s all too familiar with that her heart stops and her blood turns cold. She turns, ever so carefully, hidden behind the side of a building, and sees him.
He’s beautiful, even more than she remembers, and he looks happy. He’s walking with two girls, the resemblance making her sure it’s his sisters, but in this light she can’t be sure. She’s never met them, but he talked about them often, and she felt a pang in her chest for the homesickness he must have felt.
She tries to run, tries her hardest to get away, but she’s in an alley that leads nowhere and he’ll for sure be able to see her no matter what. The voices of the three get closer and she starts to panic, but there’s nowhere to go and she knows she’ll have to pull on her big girl pants and face him. But her heart won’t stop beating so loudly and she’s afraid she’ll break if he looks at her.
She pretends to be busy with her camera, focusing all of her attention on settings she knows are perfect, but a voice carries it’s way to her ears. “Hey stranger.”
It’s soft and it makes her knees weak and she hates herself for it. She looks up at him and his expecting eyes and her heart breaks all over again. She can’t help it, but suddenly there are tears running down her face and she can’t breathe. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.”
He places a hand on her shoulder but she pushes it away, “No it’s not.” She says between breaths.
“I shouldn’t be here, I should not be here. I have to go.”
She turns to leave, but one of his sisters stops her, “Let us walk you home, please. My brother may be a dumbass, but we have good genes. Let us make sure you get back safe.”
She doesn’t know why the words calm her, but she nods her head and lets the girls lead her in the direction of her hotel. The twins, Eleanora and Lucrezia, talk to her in fits of italian and english, trying to keep her brain occupied. But her whole body is on high alert, too aware of the man trailing behind them and how much of a fool she must look like. She feels like a mess, like someone drowning in a foot of water, but she can’t help it.
They walk her into the lobby of her hotel, the girls wish her a goodnight before shoving Ethan towards her. She doesn’t want to talk to him, and he must see it in her eyes because he tries to leave. But his sisters won’t let him, they stand tall and he looks like a child being scolded by his parents.
“Can we sit?” He asks, pointing to a couch.
She doesn’t want to, she wants to run up to her room and cry, but she nods. They sit and it is silent. Her stomach is in her throat, her eyes hurt from trying not to cry, but she sits and she waits. She studies his face, the crease in between his eyebrows that only forms when he’s confused or thinking, she wants to reach over and smooth it out. He turns towards her and catches her staring, a small smile forming on his lips.
He takes her in, allowing himself to really look at her for the first time in months, and something in his heart breaks. How did he ever let her go? Why was he so stupid to ruin something so beautiful?
“I’m sorry.” He blurts out before he can stop himself. “I’m so sorry, amore. I know I can’t say it enough, I know it’s not as easy as that, but I’m sorry and I love you. So much it hurts.”
The words hit her like a truck, they knock the air out of her lungs and the tears she was trying so hard to keep at bay start falling down her cheeks. She stands up so fast she gets light headed, “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.”
She turns and starts walking towards the elevators. He calls after her, but she’s determined to leave, to get away. He runs after her, catching her right before the doors of the elevator close, and he wishes she didn’t look so broken. The doors slip close and she is gone and he feels like he could break something.
Her room is cold and she wishes she was home in her flat. She throws herself into the shower, the water burning her skin, and she sobs. She sobs so hard her body shakes, she screams and hopes no one can hear her.
He’s still standing by the elevator, crying now, too. His body aches in a way he’s never felt before and he hates that he isn’t holding her right now. He knows he messed up, he beats himself up for it everyday, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. He can’t just say sorry and expect everything to be okay, but he has to do something.
November
The ground is covered in snow. It is peaceful and quiet. He’s not used to this, the cold and the snow, but he understands the appeal. He’s standing outside her flat, or at least what he hopes is her flat, Victoria wasn’t exactly sure which one was hers. He’s bought her favourite flowers and he’s prepared to pour his soul out to her.
He paces outside her door for what feels like hours, trying to get himself to knock, but before he can, she opens the door. “Ethan?”
Her voice is soft, his heart sings at the sound of it. He turns to face her and the sight before him takes his breath away. She’s wearing a dress that shows off everything he loved about her, a coat thrown over her arm, she looks like an angel on earth. “Do you have a moment?”
She’s running late for dinner with her sister, but she’s afraid if she says no to him, she’ll never see him again. She hasn’t forgotten that night in Amsterdam, wishes she would have been brave enough to stay and talk, but she can’t change the past. “Yes, yes. Come in.”
She lets him into her flat, taking the flowers he hands her, and brings him over to her couch. “So.”
The script he’d had prepared in his head is suddenly gone from his memories. “I’ve thought this through a thousand times, planned this out a million different ways, but I can’t figure out the right words to say. I’m sorry, amore mio. I can’t say that enough. I never should have left you, shouldn’t have let things happen the way they did. Loving you was easy, and I think that scared me.”
She takes a deep breath, not sure what to say. She feels tears bubbling in the back of her throat and she hates that this is her response to everything revolving around him. He notices the shift in her, can tell she’s about to cry, “Amore mio, please don’t cry. I’ll start and then neither of us will be able to do anything else.”
She laughs quietly at his words, “I don’t think there are any tears left inside of me. I cried them all for you.”
His heart breaks at her confession. He moves closer to her and wraps himself around her. She hates how easy it is for her to melt into his touch, but she enjoys the comfort of it. “Tell me how to fix this. Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me. I’m yours amore.”
“Please, don’t leave me again.” The words are barely more than a whisper, but he hears them.
He pulls her tight to his chest and holds her. She doesn’t care about anything else but this moment and him.
She wakes up the next morning in her bed. The sun is streaming in through the windows and she can smell Ethans body wash laced in the fibres of her bed sheets. She rolls over, expecting to see him beside her, but is met with an empty bed. Her heart sinks, afraid that everything he’d said was too good to be true, that he’d left her, again. But the sounds coming from her kitchen prove her wrong.
She gets up, quickly changing out of the dress she was wearing the night before, and follows the sound of clinking dishes. She’s greeted by the sight of a shirtless Ethan, back turned to her, hunched over her stove. There’s the smell of coffee brewing and something soft playing from the radio. If she doesn’t think too hard, she can almost imagine this being a daily occurrence.
He turns around when he hears the floorboards creak, a smile on his face, “Buongiorno amore mio.”
“Buongiorno.”
He hands her a cup of coffee and plates the pancakes he’s made. She smiles at the domesticality of it all. He sits down beside her on the couch and they eat in silence, leaning against one another. Afterwards, she washes the dishes and he dries them. Neither one of them says anything until the sun is high in the sky and they are laying in bed together. “I love you.”
It is the first time she’s said it in such a permanent way, she recites it like it is a fact written in history books. He looks down at her, she’s curled up on his chest, a hazy look on her face. He reaches down to tuck her hair behind her ear and leans his head towards her, “Ti voglio bene.” He seals the statement with a soft kiss.
It’s light and barley there, she chases after his lips as he pulls away, and he chuckles in a way that sends butterflies into her stomach. She places herself on his lap, weaving her fingers into his hair as his tether to her waist. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
He stares at her, memorizing all of the features of her face. He loses himself in thoughts of days spent exactly like this, of a life he hopes isn’t just a dream. He flips them over carefully, laying her down on the bed. He hovers over her, arms on either side of her head, “I’m going to show you how much I love you.”
December
“Move in with me.”
It’s early in the morning and they’re sitting in bed sharing a pot of coffee and a pack of cigarettes. His arm is wrapped around her shoulders, she’s leaned into his side, and he whispers those words.
She hasn’t yet told him about the offer from the band's manager, to become their permanent photographer, but it seems like the perfect moment to. “Yes.”
“Really?”
She laughs at his shock, “I was offered to come and work for the band full time, I haven’t replied yet. But I want to take the job.”
A goofy grin makes its way onto his face, “Do it! Right now. Tell them yes, come and stay with us. Be my girlfriend?”
He’s rambling and he doesn’t care. She smiles at him, her heart bursting with love for the man. “Okay, yes! Absolutely!”
Christmas is celebrated in their apartment in Rome. The band is there, her sister flies out and his family comes too. It is a day filled with love and laughter. They eat a grand lunch that they spent the previous day cooking, his mom brings a homemade panettone. They exchange gifts in the evening, and it is everything she’d dreamed of.
On New Year's Eve they make a trip to the villa. They sing songs and drink expensive wine. Fireworks light up the sky brighter than the stars. They sit out on the porch and tell stories of things that seem so far away. He’s sitting beside her, hands intertwined. He tells her about all of the things he wants to do in the new year and she is mesmerized by the way he talks.
There will be a moment in time when the world stops spinning and everything goes quiet, and she thinks that if that were to happen now, it would be the perfect way to go. Surrounded by the people she now calls family and the person she loves most in the world.
Fireworks go off in the distance, someone shouts out a drunken happy new year! and as time flows from one year to the next, she realizes that this is all that will ever matter.
#ethan torchio fluff#ethan torchio angst#ethan torchio smut#ethan torchio#ethan torchio x reader#victoria de angelis angst#victoria de angelis fluff#victoria de angelis smut#victoria de angelis x reader#victoria de angelis#damiano david angst#damiano david x reader#damiano david fluff#damiano david smut#damiano david#thomas raggi angst#thomas raggi fluff#thomas raggi smut#thomas raggi x reader#thomas raggi#maneskin#maneskin fanfiction#maneskin imagine#damiano david fic#maneskin angst
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Trip to the store with Tom and Harry
*This is actually part of a chapter of something I've been writing for myself, just for fun. Basically, the reader is staying with them for the weekend, things are still pretty recent with Tom, she's famous too, whatever, whatever... there are 15 chapters tho (48k + words)! This blurp doesn't contain smut, but the others do, so let me know if you like this, and I might post the full series.
Minor warning: people taking unsolicited pictures, panic attack foreshadowing. Also, this is in a world pre-pandemic (the series happens in June 2019) that's why no maks. But you live in 2021, so please wear yours!
Overall, just pure fluffiness and brother's bickering. Enjoy and please, please give me your feedback!
This is 2k+ words, btw
*edit! I did it you guys, here's chapter 1 of the whole series
“Just leave it, baby” Tom calls out when I get up from the breakfast table taking the dishes to the sink to wash them.
“It’s fine, just a couple plates” I say already washing them. “You wanna go to the store now or later?”
“Let’s go now” Tom says.
“I call shotgun!” Harry announces.
“Absolutely not! I’m driving and(y/n)'s my-” I keep my ear open for the end of that sentence, which apparently won’t be coming out because Harry starts to laugh and I can tell Tom wants to kill him for that. I just shake my head and keep washing the plates, pretending I didn’t hear anything.
We go back to his room to brush our teeth before heading out and I consider changing my clothes, but decide this is fine (out of laziness). Tom changes into a pair of joggers and shirt, he looks like he’s going to work out, but handsome as always. I wonder if he’s going to wear the cap and sunglasses that he keeps on his car for quick disguise. He grabs his wallet and the car keys and we’re heading out when I remember my wallet.
“Hold on, forgot my wallet” I say going back the hallway.
“What you need your wallet for?” He asks when I get back, he was waiting for me at the end of the corridor. We go down the stairs, Harry is already there waiting, flipping through his phone.
“You see, a wallet is where you keep your money and these plastic card thingies, which are like money, but virtual. Money is something you need to give the people at the store-”
“Alright smart ass, I get it. You won’t need to buy anything, it’s what I’m saying”
“Please don’t get him started” Harry pleads with me when we get outside the door.
“What?” I laugh. Tom unlocks the car and I go straight to the backseat, trying to avoid another awkward sitting discussion.
“Tom insists he pays for everything around the house. Part of the reason why we go grocery shopping without him” Harry says from the front seat. “He’s pretty good at making money, got admit. But terrible at managing it, the lads don’t even pay rent!”
“Would you like to pay rent?” Tom asks, reversing the car and taking a glance at me, winking.
“I’m your brother! Dealing with you IS my rent” I laugh the whole way to the store at their banter about money, the radio, the car temperature. I catch glances at Tom through the rear mirror, smiling every time he sees me watching him.
“Why are we here? I though it was only food” Harry asks with an annoyed voice when Tom turned to get in a parking lot.
“We’re getting other stuff too” Tom explains, parking and getting out of the car, taking my hand. He didn’t get his cap and sunglasses. We left the car at a parking lot and walked to a discreet door that read ‘collect by car’, was this some kind of celebrity special entrance? We take an elevator and when it opens it’s like a mall, or a department store. A fancy Target, I’d say. ‘Marks & Spencer’. Uh…very British. Harry takes a cart and Tom gets another. I follow Tom but notice that Harry goes solo on his shopping trip. Tom’s still holding my hand and I look around to see if anyone’s watching but apparently not. “Let’s look at the blown dryers first, huh?” He says and I nod, following his lead.
When we get to the beauty tools section (is that what they call it?) Tom reaches for the fancy, expensive blow dryer models and I reach for the travel-sized ones. I look at him smiling. “You were thinking about getting a blown dryer for the house, weren’t you?”
“Weren’t you?”
“Tom, you’re seriously buying a blown dryer just because I asked to borrow one?” I laugh at him.
“I could use one too, you know? It’s not just for when you come around” He says in a tone that gives away he was thinking exactly the opposite.
“Okay then. Not that brand, though. This one” I put back the travel size and step closer to him to look at the models, reading the boxes and considering the options. When we settle for one he puts it on the cart and we keep walking through the store, reaching the products section. “Shampoo” I indicate, walking towards the shelf with all the options.
“Hi, can I help you guys?” A store attendant asks approaching us.
“Hi” I say smiling at her. “Just looking for some shampoo and conditioner”
“Something specific?”
“Not rubbish” Tom jokes. And she looks confused.
“He uses Head & Shoulders and is offended I called it rubbish” I explain to her laughing.
“Oh…that’s not good” She grimaces and Tom shakes his head.
“I know! Thank you! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy…I don’t know any of these brands though…” Me and the attendant start talking about shampoo and Tom zones out, looking around. When I finally pick one, along with conditioner, hair mask and styling gel I put it all in the cart and thank her. Tom was looking at a shelf with bath products, bath salts and bombs.
“Hi” I step to his side.
“Bath bomb? Doesn’t sound very relaxing” I laugh at that. Boys. When I was going to explain it to him two girls approach us.
“Hi, Tom!” One of them says, blushing furiously.
“Uh…hi!” He answers, slightly startled. “How’s it going?” He recovers his composure.
“Fine…Uh, is it ok if we ask you for a selfie?”
“Sure, no problem” He smiles. They look in between him and I.
“Could you take one, (y/n)?” Does she mean with me, or she want’s me to take the picture?
“Sure, give me your phone” I say reaching for her phone. And they laugh nervously.
“We meant with us”
“Oh, yeah” I laugh. “Course” Tom is watching and laughing at me. “But do you want me to take one of you guys with him too? So you don’t have only selfies”
“Oh would you? Thank you!” They say giving me their phones and posing along him. He keeps staring at you the whole time. I snap multiple pics with both phones and give them back to them.
“See what you think” I gave their phones back.
“Oh it’s great! Thank you”
“You didn’t even look at it. What if she’s a shitty photographer?” Tom laughs.
“Excuse me? I’m a great photographer” I answered him. “I bet the one’s you take won’t look so great” I said posing with the girls, who were just staring at the two of us in awe. I smiled while Tom snapped the pics and then he gave their phones back.
“Thank you!” One of them smiled.
“Yeah thank you!” They were walking away when one of them looked back and shouted. “You guys are really cute together!” And they sprinted away laughing.
“Teenagers” Tom says shaking his head and laughing.
“Don’t know, we ARE really cute together” You tease him, poking his side.
“I know, wasn’t disagreeing” He says defensively. “You can’t make every fan encounter this long though, or else you’re never gonna get anything done”
“Okay grandpa” You laugh. “Common, it didn’t even take that long”
“Not this time. Probably made their day, though” He says. “Just don’t get frustrated if every fan isn’t this nice”
“I don’t expect them to be. It’s just, they liked whatever we do and it’s part of their lives. Doesn’t cost anything to be nice, and besides, it’s a positive reinforcement. Next time they need courage to do something, it’ll be easier for them. People make too much fuss about celebrities, but like, asking a date out is way scarier and more common” Tom just smiled and shakes his head. “What?”
“I really love your mind, you know?”
“What did I said?”
“The positive reinforcement thing. I though you were going to say we’re leaving a good impression” You scoff.
“Bath bombs” I say trying to change the subject. “It’s like aspirin, for your bath. They’re really nice, wanna pick some?” He nods picking one up and trying to smell them. You guys joke around and pick some bath bombs as well as some bubbles and shower gel. “We got so much stuff” I say looking at the cart.
“Only essentials” He says and kiss me on the cheek. “I like this, get used to it”
“What?”
“Spoiling you. I’m like a sugar daddy”
“Oh my god, you didn’t just say that” I laugh. “That makes me a toiletries sugar baby” He laughs and pushes the cart along the corridor. We find Harry on the beverages section, picking up some beer boxes.
“So much for groceries” Tom says looking at his cart. Chips, candy, beer and milk. We get a few more items like some fruits and vegetables, yogurt, eggs and of course a bunch of ready meals, which seem to be a must for them.
“You guys don’t cook much, do you?” I joke.
“Only when Sam’s around. Which then he cook’s for us, of course” Harry answers and I laugh.
“Is he at school?” I ask.
“Cooking school. In Paris” Harry tells me, putting the groceries on the cashier belt.
“That’s so cool” I look at Tom. “That’s really cool”
“I know. Wait, are you really more impressed by my younger-chef-brother than my acting career?” He laughs.
“I mean…” I shrug and Harry laughs at us. We see a flash and turn our heads at the same time to the woman on the line behind us, who had her phone pointed to us. I look down and Tom puts his arm around me. “She’s taking pics” I whisper to him getting out of his embrace.
“So?” He says and puts his hand on my back, standing with his back to her in front of me. Harry hurries up and finishes putting the groceries on the belt, bagging everything up. I go to help him while Tom pays for our shopping. We put the stuff back on a cart and get out of the store. When we get out of the elevator and in the parking lot again, I hear Tom saying to Harry ‘Ride on the back now, yeah?’. We put everything on the trunk and Harry gets on the backseat, so I get on the passenger seat. Tom starts to drive and takes my hand laying on my thigh, he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand and I’m glad he’s being mindful because these encounters with paparazzi and random people taking pics really stress me out.
“I don’t really mind taking photos” I say out of the blue. “When they introduce themselves and ask for it”
“It’s so disrespectful, pisses me off” Harry agrees. “Like, you want a photo? Fine, just ask for it. You don’t simply snap photos of random people on the street, what makes you think you have the right to do it if you saw the person on a movie before?”
“We only saw that because the flash was on too. Makes me think of all the times I never see it. Like you’re always being watched. It’s…” Scary? Stressful? An invasion of privacy? All of the above?
“I’m sorry” Tom says, tightening his grip on my hand.
“It’s not your fault” I say.
“I’m still sorry” I give him a half smile. Nothing we can do about it, is there?
“Nice record Tom, where did you get it?” Harry asked lifting the Lime Cordiale record I bought Tom at Camden.
“That’s (y/n)'s” He says.
“I bought it for you” I smile.
“What? Did you?” I bit my lip smiling and nod. “I’m an idiot, sorry”
“That you are. An ungrateful idiot apparently” Harry says.
“It’s ok” I give Harry a glare. “It’s ok, really” I repeat looking over at Tom. “As long as you listen to them now”
“I will, promise” He smiles and lifts my hand to kiss it. Harry makes a gaging sound and I just laugh.
#tom holland#Tom Holland fanfic#tom holland one shot#tom holland imagine#tom holland blurp#Harry Holland#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x fem#tom holland x you
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"My African Food Chef, Reflecting on Progress and Lessons Learned"
Hey there, My African Food Chef fam! I am here to continue from my last update, so I wanted to touch base and share where I am with this incredible culinary journey. So grab your favorite brew, get cozy, and let's dive right in!
What's Working?
Let's kick things off with a celebration of our victories! Our community engagement has been booming lately, and I can't express enough gratitude for each of you who've joined us on this flavorful adventure. Your enthusiasm, feedback, and support have been the driving force behind My African Food Chef's success. From sharing your own recipes to spreading the word about our platform, you all are the real MVPs!
Plus, my recipe development process has been yielding some seriously mouthwatering results. We've been playing with traditional African flavors and adding our own twist to classic dishes, and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. It's incredibly rewarding to see people trying out our recipes in their own kitchens and sharing their delicious creations with us.
What's Not Working?
But of course, every journey has its hurdles. One area where we're still finding our jogging is in reaching new audiences. While the current community is engaged, I am eager to connect with even more food lovers curious about African cuisine. Navigating the realm of effective marketing strategies to attract and retain new users is a challenge we're actively tackling.
Also, balancing the demands of growing a business with other commitments can feel like a juggling act. Some days, it feels like there simply aren't enough hours to tackle everything on our to-do list. However, we're committed to finding sustainable ways to manage our time and prioritize effectively.
How Do I Feel the Project Is Coming?
Reflecting on our journey so far, I couldn't be prouder of our progress. My African Food Chef began as a passion project fueled by a love for African cuisine and a desire to share it with the world. Witnessing that vision come to life has been nothing short of incredible. Every day, I'm inspired by the creativity and dedication of our team and the unwavering support of our community.
Still, I am aware in the early stages of the journey, and there's much more to accomplish. I am constantly pushing to innovate, improve, and grow, and I'm genuinely excited to see where this journey takes us.
What Am I Learning About Running a Business?
Running a business is a journey of constant learning. Adaptability has emerged as a crucial lesson. In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, the ability to pivot and adjust course quickly is essential. Whether it's responding to community feedback, refining our business model, or navigating unforeseen challenges, flexibility is key.
Furthermore, collaboration has proven invaluable. Building a successful business is hardly a single endeavor. Surrounding ourselves with a talented, supportive team has made all the difference. By leveraging each other's strengths and working towards a common goal, we're achieving far more than we ever could alone.
What Am I Learning About Myself?
On a personal note, this journey has been a profound lesson in resilience and self-discovery. Moments of doubt and uncertainty have been plentiful, but through them, I've learned to trust my abilities and keep pushing forward, even when the path ahead seems daunting.
Embracing vulnerability and risk-taking have also been significant revelations. Launching My African Food Chef required a leap of faith, teaching me that growth often lies beyond our comfort zones. By embracing the unknown, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities for learning, growth, and transformation.
In conclusion, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to each of you who've been part of this incredible journey. Your support means the world, and we're grateful to have you along for the ride. Here's to many more delicious adventures together!
With love and gratitude, DANIEL MADU Founder, My African Food Chef
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