#i've been able to finish some since 2020/2021

[homosexualcitron]

I finished half of my silly project.. good for me

[maybankiara]

okay but i'm working on phone swap again and i had to read the full thing to remember all the details and man. the way i was squealing like i was 14 again, reading some cute shit. the way i woke up in the morning and my boyfriend was trying to get me out of bed but i was just like 'no i can't i have to keep reading it's so tense these characters just broke up' and he was like. okay. aren't you reading your own story. and i was like yes i am sir and that is precisely why i need to get back into it because holy shit phone swap is so good in some aspects and i just. i can't wait to start sharing it with the world again, whenever that may be

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[kozachenko]

A Retrospective Analysis on Touhou 17

So it's finally here, and even though I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to get the Keiki drawing done by this time (I'm having trouble with the eyes, for some reason it's always that aspect of drawing her that's difficult for me, I can never really capture the essence of her character no matter what I do) I still wanted to post something about this game today since it's the game's 5 year anniversary. I have a lot of thoughts on it, and my views on the game have changed quite a lot throughout my time being a Touhou fan. This is going to be very long so I'll put the rest under the keep reading tag.

So for some background, Touhou 17 was the first Touhou game I ever played, I got into the series during 2021 shortly after my Hunter X Hunter phase ended (since the manga was still on hiatus at the time) and I remember playing 17 during that time as well. I'm pretty sure that the reason I played it was because of that one nitirushh animation where Keiki disses the animal spirits so hard that they die (still my favourite fan-depection of Keiki tbh, it's just really funny to me) and that set my interest in the game itself. It was also the newest Touhou game at the time and none of the other games interested me as much. Then I actually played the game and at the time I found it insanely fun. I remember feeling so excited playing the stage 1 of the game and thinking to myself "Holy shit I'm actually playing a Touhou game" and having a lot of fun with it. Even though the game itself is the easiest out of all the Touhou games, it was still a challenge for me at the time since I had never played a bullet Hell before. For this reason, the game as a whole struck a chord with me. Funny Touhou animation aside, I don't know if it was because I had only recently gotten out of my Hunter X Hunter phase after finishing the whole 2011 version of the anime and had caught up with the manga during 2020, but maybe some aspect of 17 kinda scratched a similar itch in my brain and it really stuck with me IDK.

As for what I think of the game itself now.... gameplay wise, it could be better, it's still fun but there was so much potential for the game to tell it's story through the medium it chose to present itself in. Why did we not have more similarities between Eika and Keiki's danmaku styles to show their connection? Why did we not have a moment similar to what happened in TD during the final boss fight where Mayumi comes back in to take over during the fight in a last ditch effort to protect Keiki? It's the final boss so go all out! The animal spirits could also be balanced a lot better as well, especially with Youmu becoming incredibly overpowered with the wolf spirit, and visibility is a bit of a problem in this game. Some of the tracks could use a bit more polish too, I commend ZUN for being experimental with his newer tracks but the stage 3 theme and staff roll theme are both kinda eh, and while the boss themes have a lot of good punch to them and can be really good, it still feels like some extra spice could've been added to really make them stand out (which is why I love the theme remixes Saki and Yachie got in Touhou 19). I also wish the Animal Realm got explained better within the lore of the series, mainly because it raises a lot of questions about how Hell was founded and it kinda needlessly complicates things. I would've rather it be introduced as it's own region of Hell rather than being a separate thing entirely that just so happens to be located next to it. I also wish that we got more stuff with this setting that explains how it connects to the rest of the worldbuilding a lot more, I definitely feel like actually having it explained more in the mangas would definitely help to make it feel less convuluted, but unfortunately the closest we're getting are cameos in Lotus Eaters and very brief mentions of the games themselves. I still like the game though, as I've mentioned I do love a lot of the music and I love all the characters we got introduced to in this game. I've been appreciating Eika a lot more recently, I do like Urumi but she's neat and I like her design a lot, Kutaka is a fucking shithead who kept FUCKING UP MY 1CCS IN BOTH 17 AND 17.5 THE FUCKING BITCH- who is very funny and I love seeing more insight into Hell's management. Yachie's great and I find her relationships to the other characters in this game very interesting, Mayumi is awesome and the more I think about her the more I like her, and I love how Saki contrasts Yachie in her strategies. That being she has no strategy and just goes "fuck it, we ball" with no hesitation lmao.

I'm pretty sure you all noticed the absence of one character in particular, that being Keiki. I've made it no secret on this blog that Keiki is my favourite Touhou character, and a lot of that is because of her role as an antagonist in Touhou 17. I always found it really fascinating how ZUN created her as an allegory for AI (I don't know if Apollo just randomly blessed him with the gift of prophecy because MAN does that statement hit harder now more than ever) and the fact that she's portrayed as a very morally grey character in the game itself and Reimu's reaction to her, stating that she can see an "evil aura" in Keiki. I've already talked a lot about Keiki on this blog and I don't know what there is that I haven't said, but I wanted to start off with her because it ties into a big part of why I still find this game's story interesting. That main aspect being it's parallels to Gensokyo and Touhou's overarching them of humanity's relationship with nature.

So to step back from 17 for a second, I feel like we should look at what the Youkai represent in the story. Youkai in Touhou are created from humanity's fear, and back before science was able to properly explain anything, this fear very often manifested into a fear of nature. Natural disasters would end up wiping out villages, dangerous animals would often lurk in forests and end up killing anyone who would go in them. Overall nature isn't very kind to humanity, and humanity knows this. This is why humanity would often try and find reasons as to why these things would happen. This brings us back to the Youkai in Touhou who are the embodiment of the unexplainable. In manga like Forbidden Scrollery and Lotus Eaters, we often see how the humans in the human village are at the mercy of these Youkai, the only reason that they aren't being slaughtered is entirely for their own benefit so they don't run out of resources. The only hope the humans in the village really have is to turn to the gods, another product of man's desire to explain the unexplainable, to potentially save them. The survival of the people in the human village will always be in the hands of beings beyond their comprehension. No matter what, humanity will always be at the mercy of nature.

Coming back to Touhou 17, we can see that the relationship between the human and beast spirits isn't exactly.... pleasant. The beast spirits all see the human spirits as slaves essentially and they gain strength from their torment. The only way that the human spirits are even able to stand a chance against them is to submit themselves to a god and pray for their protection. And even then there's no way in Hell that they're getting out of this situation since the god they're praying to views them the same way as the animal spirits (whether they are aware of it or not).

So if you haven't noticed by my word choice, there are quite a lot of similarities here with the dynamics of the Animal realm and Gensokyo. That's not even mentioning the fact that in both places we have at least 3 different parties fighting over control of the humans, whether it be animal spirits or Youkai. Hell, this race for power in Gensokyo is a plot point in Lotus Eaters and Forbidden Scrollery, so it's not like this is a new concept for the series to explore either.

There's also something to be said about how Keiki and the technology she brings with her are seen as a threat to the order of the animal realm. Throughout human history, humanity's creativity and ingenuity have always been major factors in our survival as a species. We created tools to use the nature around us and make it work to our advantage, we created weapons to more efficiently hunt and find food to survive, and we created art and literature to document our histories and make sense of the world. Going back to 17, Keiki is the epitome of humanity's evolution and creativity and she is the one who responded to the human's cries for salvation. Another thing to think about is that in Gensokyo, the best the villagers are going to get in terms of technology are old computers that are very limited in their use, and even then barely anyone will have any idea how to use them. The reason that Gensokyo even exists in the first place is to preserve the Youkai and Gods that would become forgotten by humanity's technological advancement. In both of these places, technological advancement is seen as a threat to the natural order and must be suppressed at all costs.

Of course in Gensokyo it isn't as extreme as the animal realm. The Kappa, the Tengu, and even gods like Kanako are all quite technologically advanced and/or are introducing new technologies to Gensokyo (those are just the ones I could list off the top of my head, but please tell me if there are more that I forgot). But here's the interesting thing, notice how none of the examples I listed there were humans. The only way for the humans of Gensokyo to have these technologies introduced to them is if the powers that be, nature, let them have those technologies. Going back to the animal realm, even after Keiki is defeated we can see that the beast spirits are still using the technologies she (most likely) introduced, i.e. that one chapter in Lotus Eaters where one of the otter spirits introduced what is essentially a GameBoy to the Kappa and Nitori saying stuff like, "oh yeah the animal realm is actually pretty technologically advanced nowadays" as well as that one story in CoLA where Ran and Yachie deal with the AI Sumireko made. Once again, the only times when the use of technology goes unprotested in this series are when it's kept out of the hands of humans and back into the hands of nature. Even when humans are able to fight back and create their own technology, nature will always win in the end, no matter how hard humanity tries to defeat it. The way Touhou 17 ends is indicative of this, with Keiki being defeated and the Animal Realm returning to it's status quo.

However, Gensokyo has never had this kind of issue before.... or so it may seem. Yes there's never been any technological uprising by the human villagers and with the way things are there most likely never will be, but when you take away the potential for technological advancement from humans then the next best thing would be magic. And when humans in Gensokyo use magic to find a way to gain power and be more than just fodder for the Youkai, they end up being punished. This is most prevalent in Forbidden Scrollery when Reimu kills the fortune teller. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this moment since I already did so in my Forbidden Scrollery review but this once again shows a parallel between Gensokyo and the Animal Realm.

So what am I trying to say with all of this? I've been bringing up a lot of the similarities that these two places have but similarities can just be chalked up to coincidences that don't mean anything. What I've been trying to say with this whole thing is that the Animal Realm represents an extreme version of Gensokyo, one where every ugly aspect of it is dialed up to 11 and the law of the strong eating the weak rules all. It's a Gensokyo without a spell card system to level the playing field. I do want to say that I don't believe Gensokyo is a grimdark setting, sure some parts about it are bleaker than others, but there are also many good aspects of Gensokyo that I feel like I should bring up. It's a safe-haven for the forgotten, and if we continue viewing the Youkai and Gods from the lens of both of them being allegories for nature, Gensokyo is a place where nature can fluorish outside of humanity's hands. Unlike the Animal Realm, Gensokyo was never established with the intentions of harming people. Nature is both beautiful and terrifying, and where Gensokyo displays the beautiful sides of nature, the Animal Realm displays all the ugly sides of it. Even then, there is some overlap between the two, Gensokyo does have a nastier side to it and the Animal Realm is a place where nature can exist unrestrained by humanity (even if the place is still a shitshow overall). Now that I think about it, this sort of duality between the two realms is kinda fitting for Touhou, and I can't stress enough that when I say that Gensokyo and the Animal Realm have some parallels I am not trying to say Gensokyo is a grimdark dystopia. Hell even going back into the Lotus Eaters manga, the otter spirit that escaped from the Animal Realm even said that Gensokyo was a better place to live.

So yeah, I don't really have any good way to end this aside from saying happy 5 year anniversary Touhou 17. You are a flawed game but god do I still love you. Oh yeah, and if there's anything I missed or any mistakes I made, please correct me/let me know.

[whoregaylorenzo]

do we have any idea what happened between mavio? oh fellow mavio lover please tell me you have an idea 🥺

oh bestie....*pats seat next to me* we're really in it now aren't we..😭😭

okay there's definitely better ppl to ask this since I've only been here for a few months but I'll tell you what I think I know

disclaimer: a lot of the gaps of my knowledge (so a lot) are filled in with dramatic exaggerations and my own headcanons so don't take it too seriously

1. maverick comes into motogp with one championship under his belt (moto3) and a third place in moto2, from what I've gathered he'd been seen as one of the real next talents, I'm not 100% sure of the timeline but I know I've heard vale mention him as well as marc as someone who could be quick/has a lot of talent

2. he starts off at suzuki (with aleix), gets some good results even a win and a couple podiums and after two years moves to yamaha in 2017 after coming 4th in the championship im 2016

3. he fucking wins his first two races with yamaha, talk about an entry to a team. oh and his teammate was valentino rossi. enough said.

4. mav having a grand time at yamaha, finishing 3rd and 4th and 3rd again (2017,18,19) in the championship. then shit starts going downwards.

5. in 2019, fabio arrives on the motogp stage with the petronas yamaha. he has an amazing first season, getting like 7 podiums and finishing 5th overall.

6. 2020 (ooh getting spicy) so there's a lot of very friendly interactions between mav and fabio from this time, it really seems like they were good buddies, n then preparing to be teammates in 2021, being excited about it!! looking at results tho - even though fabio only finished 8th that year, he won three races, meanwhile mav got one win plus two second places - both behind fabio...

7. so going into 2021 the situation is basically - fabio, boy wonder replacing motogp legend and maverick - not quite being able to fulfill the potential ppl said he had, getting this new teammate, a fast young guy - [threatening music starts playing]

7. and then the season starts off not too bad for mav with a win but after that - forget it. mav getting worse, fab winning and winning and winning. mav starts thinking yamaha have clearly moved on from him and are backing fabio, casting him aside a bit (in his perception, I can't really speak on what really happened I simply wasn't present in the fandom and I've not dove that deep yet), and then ofc it culminates in the whole debacle with mav just having enough of the frustration and doing sth rash, leading to the yamaha fallout and him leaving the team - well being fired really - and going to aprilia

8. as far as I know, it wasn't this alone that broke mavio? I think fabio said sth to the effect of he doesn't really care about mav leaving the team, and then there's a mav quote I think of him saying he's surprised to hear that from fabio

9. and then ofc there's fabio on that podcast this year answering the question "who's the rider you have the worst relationship with" with maverick.

IN CONCLUSION I think a culmination of fabio riding high on success, mav spiraling and lashing out, all that lead to the sorta icy relationship they have now....*sob*

anyway at the bottom of this I gotta add these tags from vic @distinguishedfifty to lighten the mood bc I simply love them uwkfjfkd

if any motogp mutuals have more to add here or maybe wanna correct me on things pls feel free!!

[im-immortal]

2023 Writing Wrap-Up

I'm a little late this time around since it's already 2024, but I haven't done a writing wrap-up since 2021 and I thought it would be fun to bring back!

So this year, I was on quite a roll for the first half of the year. And then July rolled around and I started slowing down until it came to a screeching halt. Not sure what happened. Maybe it's my ADHD and constantly shifting hyper-fixations to blame. But I gradually managed to come back around just in time to post something for Christmas, which I'm still working on finishing. However, my hiatus doesn't take away the pride I still have for what I was able to write during the year. And I look forward to writing more in 2024! So here's all I managed to finish/get a good start on and post during 2023.

A Kiss For A Drink: 6,740 words; one-shot I actually started writing this back in 2020 or 2021, intended to be posted on Valentine's Day. And then I got a point where I couldn't finish it and let it sit for about 2 years. I finally came back with some inspiration and motivation and finished it just in time to post for Valentine's Day 2023! I'm really happy with how it came out. It was a fun idea that turned into a fun fic with a few laughs included, even if it is one of my least-viewed fics lol I had fun writing it too, which is all that really matters!

Lunacy Fringe: 62,690 words; 8/8 chapters To say this fic suddenly came out of nowhere would be an understatement. I literally got inspired out of the blue while listening to an episode of the Therapy Gecko podcast and the next thing I knew, I was balls deep in a psychological thriller. I actually managed to write it in just over a month or so!! Which is really incredible for me, especially considering I didn't step away from it at all or lose inspiration before it was finished. I'm really proud of how it turned out, and I haven't really told anyone, but I am working on converting it into an original story and possibly self-publishing. It could end up being my very first original novel :) the feedback I got was far more positive than I'd expected, especially considering how I portrayed Beth. I'm overall so so happy with how it turned out!!

Longer Than A Heartbeat: 157,289 words; 29/29 chapters Now this... this fic is one of my proudest pieces by far. I'll never get over how happy I am with how it turned out, and how I was actually able to finish it. For the last few years, every time I rewatched "28 Days Later," I couldn't stop thinking about how it would make such a good Bethyl fic, and how I wanted to convert it into a Bethyl fic that included Rick and Judith. I finally did it!! Technically, I wrote it in 2022, but I didn't completely finish it and post it until 2023. When I say I write for myself... this fic really proves it, because I go back and read chapters from it all the time just because it's so fun and I love how I wrote it. I was also pleasantly surprised by the reception and how people who hadn't ever watched "28 Days Later" enjoyed it! Not to mention, @boltthrutheheart made some incredible custom manips for me that I can never get over!!

hot girl summer (playing by the rules); 167k+ words, 16/30 chapters Ah yes, here she is... the companion piece to the first 3 fics of "in for a penny, in for a pound" that I've been planning/contemplating ever since I did that first fic from Beth's POV for the series. I always wanted to show Beth's POV for all the major moments in the series, and then once I got started, I figured why not go all in and just do her POV for the entirety of the series thus far? It gives a little more insight into how she's feeling, why she does the things she does and says the things she says, and we also get to see exactly what she was doing all those times that Daryl couldn't help wondering about her (because I already knew in my head, but I thought it might be fun to share with everyone else). I also thought it would make the set-up for the next fic a little better, so we could try and understand Beth's motivations better and where she's at in her head. Of course, I got pretty into it and then hit a speed bump and then suddenly, lost all ability to write. It'll come back soon, though. I can't wait to finish this fic and move on to the next in the series, and eventually conclude Beth and Daryl's tumultuous journey in this fun little AU.

Small Miracles; 39k+ words, 6/10 chapters This is the fic that finally pushed me back into being able to write. I had no plans of writing for BHF 2023, and then I suddenly had this strike of inspiration for a very weird idea and decided to go with it and try and finish it in time to post for Christmas. I did manage to finish about 1/3rd of the fic in time, but I'm still writing it and haven't lost motivation yet, so that's a good sign! It's also just really fun and kind of cathartic to do a new exploration of Beth's journey through the eyes of an older Beth who survived Grady, with that fun little supernatural twist added to it. I can't wait to finish this one, because I've had a lot of fun writing it and really look forward to seeing what people think of her entire journey and the way it will conclude.

To everyone who's read my fics, left feedback, kudos, bookmarks, or even helped me bounce ideas off and come up with plans for fics... thank you so much! I appreciate everyone in this little fandom so, so much. Y'all mean the world to me, and I am so grateful that we have this wonderful community in our own little corner of the internet. Happy New Year to you all, and I hope 2024 brings you nothing but blessings!

[oddmawd]

How about 2, 4, 6, aaaaaaand 14 :P

two people asked me for 2 and 4 at the same time, so i'll answer 4 here and 2 in the other ask!

4 - what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

of the works i've published, i've carried around The Sight Unseen since 2019, so that's definitely a big one!

as for my unpublished works...i have been sitting on MULTIPLE My Hero Academia fics since 2018 (Kurogiri/OC, All Might/OC, Gang Orca/OC), a Sukuna/OC fic since 2021, an Oni/OC fic (Dead by Daylight) since 2022, an Alucard/OC fic since 2020, an Armstrong/OC fic since 2021, and a Jigen/OC fic since 2020...and in more recent months i came up with ideas for multiple BG3 OC and/or reader fics...

these are the ones i've actually put time into outlining, and most are fully outlined to the point it's feasible i could write them someday! i have more ideas that are older and less well-formed though...i have some VERY old story ideas from before those dates (mostly for Yu Yu Hakusho) but i've determined i won't be writing them...just kind of outgrew the concepts

there's also a DMC story i came up with in 2004 (i was one entire teenager) that i've attempted to write multiple times LMAO so i think that one takes the Old Plot Bunny cake, but idk that it'll ever get finished AND YES I EXPERIENCE EXISTENTIAL DREAD OVER EVERY LAST ONE OF THESE FICS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

6 - do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

i try to write daily, but life often gets in the way

i definitely don't only write when i'm "inspired" though, you'll never be able to write consistently if you wait around on that kind of thing...so i try to write even when i'm not feeling it, though obviously it's not always possible due to ~life reasons~

adulthood is great because you have your own money, but damn does it come at the cost of your free time!

14 - what’s your worst writing habit? 

probably not being able to cut content or trim down...i am bad at "killing my darlings," so to speak, so my stories end up being way longer than necessary...general wordiness i guess

also em-dashes, i love those little shits way too much LMAO

find the fanfic writer ask game here!

[ultraviolet-ink]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @aawrightworth, thank you so much for this!! <3

How many works do you have on Ao3? 117, but I have four more on the roster due to @aaholidayrare!

What's your total A03 word count? 427,315 (OH WOW???)

What fandoms do you write for? Ace Attorney/Great Ace Attorney!

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1) Once Upon a Christmas (2019)- NRMT first kiss prompt 2) 12:26 AM (2019)- Forbidden Hospital Scene 3) The Talk (2020)- Greg notices that Baby Miles has a crush 4) Oh Shirt! (2019)- Phoenix can't find his shirt at Miles' place 5) Litigation in the Streets... (2021)- Miles and Phoenix become the subjects of tabloid gossip NGL, I'm not surprised that my top rated fics are NRMT, they're oldies but goodies! I've definitely grown as a writer (not to mention grown UP since these were all written when I was 18-20), but it really is lovely to see that they're still getting love! <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? OMGOMGOMGOMG!! Yes!! I love doing it because it lets the commenter know that I've seen their comment, and that I really do appreciate them! No matter how old a fic is, I will comment back as soon as I get that email, haha! In all seriousness, it's my way of giving back a kudos, a sort of "kudos to the reader" if that makes sense. They really do make me smile and I like to print out some of the comments that made me cry happy tears and save them in a scrapbook so that I can read them when writer's block hits me. Also, commenting brought my some of my greatest friends <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ohhh DEFINITELY I Dreamed A Dream (2022)!! Not only is the title from the Les Mis song of the same name (where Fantine's life is just absolutely ruined), but I did the one thing I never thought I would be able to do... I KILLED one half of the otp!! It's a RyuuSusa fic, and of course, Major Character Death, proceed with caution!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oooohhh this is a really hard one since I'm such a sucker for happy endings! I think the one that makes me the happiest now is from The Caterpillar Man (2022). It's a fic I wrote to sort of conceptualize Yujin and Susato's relationship when the former came home from the original study trip, and it takes place over a year and among other tragedies and growth. It's from the perspective of Susato, and I think it's one that still makes me tear up (and I got fanart based on it once!!)

Do you get hate on fics? I've never been John Phoenix'd which is very rude, am I not GOOD enough for you DaKoolGuy?? but in all seriousness, I don't really get hate on specific fics, but because I'm so vocal about a certain pairing (being Ryuu X Susato.... if I'm not supposed to ship, why game make so cute?)

Do you write smut? Not on Ultraviolet_Ink, but I do on Infrared_Quill! Fun fact, Infrared got put on a blacklist when I only had one work, and Ultraviolet wasn't on it, I found it quite funny XD

Do you write crossovers? The Journal of Dr. Yujin Mikotoba (2022-????) is just one giant crossover with ACD canon, and I'm planning on having Raffles and Arsène Lupin making an important appearance in the future! It's very self indulgent XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen? God I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I do have a blanket statement saying that I am a-okay with a translation of any of my works!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? It's always been in the "omg we should totally do this" phase, but given how I am with my own works, I feel like I would be a nightmare to work with XD

What's your all-time favourite ship? Honestly... It's between HomuMiko and RyuuSusa, especially since that's just what I've been writing recently XD

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? That's a good question that I don't have a single answer for XD I have a notepad full of a WIP list, but I think one that intrigued me when I first started off was this sort of continuation of the JFA 2-4 bad ending, just kind of coming from the ashes and then De Killer eventually kills Phoenix for betraying Matt Engarde (just because of the principle). It's really interesting to think about, but I honestly don't know how I could workshop it, and I remember stopping because It made me too sad haha! If you come across this and like the idea, please feel free to adopt this bunny, no credit needed! I'm not the first person who came up with a continuation of Miracle Never Happen, and I'm sure I won't be the last!

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm getting a lot better at dialogue, especially since I have a very good friend who helps me workshop them through a sort of RP! I would say that I'm also good at making a sort of vibe/ambiance, I know how to dress a scene B-) (Yes I was a theatre kid)

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue is also something I struggle a lot with, but I would say I get into my own head too much, and I over think and try to over explain to cover up "holes" (Cracked.Com owes me reparations for this)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm a linguistics nerd, I love writing dialogue in other languages! I even wrote a fic entirely in Latin because I wanted to practice (Miles et Phoenix Romae Sunt (2021)). That being said, you have to use more than Google Translate, I've studied and majored in Spanish, so I'm confident enough in my own skill to write, but I don't really know German despite English being Germanic! So, while I do use Google Translate to get a base understanding, I try to run it by a native speaker, or at the very least, someone who has studied the language, to see if it makes sense haha. Or don't, I'm not your mom, and we're all just doing this for shits and giggles XD

First fandom you wrote for? ...... Oncest Those journals filled with Oncest have been burned since 2014 in the traditional "middle schoolers host a bonfire at the end of the year" that my friends hosted, and they will never see the light of day XD But then again..... how ba-a-a-ad COULD it have been? Tbh, I do regret getting rid of them, not because they were actually lost Great American Novels, but they were something I created and I could look back on and see how I've grown and what I've just stuck with over the years XD

Favourite fic you've ever written? It's honestly a tossup between The Journal of Yujin Mikotoba and The Caterpillar Man! I just love playing around with the empty playground canon left me haha

[sassybluee]

Dramas in 2023 roundup!

It's midway thru January, but it's never too late to reflect on the year before. I think I watched the most dramas I've ever had this past year, so I wanted to write a little roundup with my thoughts.

Here's an overview of the ones I completed!

Unchained Love (2022) ⭐️ 7.5

I've Fallen for You (2020) ⭐️ 8

Miss the Dragon (2021) ⭐️ 7

The Rational Life (2021) ⭐️ 9

Till the End of the Moon (2023) ⭐️8.5

A Romance of the Little Forest (2022) ⭐️ 7

Back from the Brink (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

The Starry Love (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

The Wolf (2020) ⭐️ 8.5

My Journey to You (2023) ⭐️ 8

Never Give Up (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

Ancient Love Poetry (2021) ⭐️ 9

Destined With You (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

Here are the ones I placed on hold/dropped

Legend of Anle

Love You Seven Times

Love in Flames of War

Only for Love (dropped)

The Snow Moon (dropped)

More detailed thoughts below the cut!

Unchained Love (2022) ⭐️ 7.5

Part palace drama, part comedy, this was a fun ride. I really liked watching the relationship between Bu Yinlou and Xiao Duo develop from friendship into romance. The comedy moments were really well done, and had me actually laughing out loud. The fight sequences were also really well done, and I liked the costumes. However, the last five or so episodes had such an abrupt tonal shift, and there were some questionable decisions made by otherwise smart characters, so it kind of fell flat at the end. BUT I would still watch it again, just maybe just skip the last eps.

I've Fallen for You (2020) ⭐️ 8

I didn't expect to like this one as much as I did. The basic concept is: childhood sweethearts try to find their way back to each other, end up married after a strange series of events, but they aren't sure their spouse is the childhood sweetheart they're looking for. It's silly, cute, and very good fun. I really liked the secondary couple as well. The ending managed to make me very emotional, which surprised me. And I enjoyed that the heroine was a fan of doing autopsies (something that does occasionally become plot-relevant).

Miss the Dragon (2021) ⭐️ 7

Okay, first off, I know this one has a reputation of being a bad drama. And tbh, I agree! Objectively, it's not very good. HOWEVER! The viewing experience? Was so fun. The characters? Very entertaining. The frenemy dynamic between the ML and 2ndML? Hilarious and also a bit gay. The FL is a bit flat, but she does develop more personality through her various reincarnations. My fave life of hers was the 3rd, I believe (the lady general arc). Wang Hedi's acting is not the best but I still think he's very cute lol and he's watchable! It's just maybe not what you'd expect from him if you saw CLJ or The Rational Life first.

The Rational Life (2021) ⭐️ 9

Yes, this was for a bit of a palate cleanser after the overall ride that was Miss the Dragon. I wasn't sure if I'd be into the modern cdrama genre cuz fantasy/historical is more my preferred vibe of media, HOWEVER, I wanted to give it a shot because I'd seen some cute gifs. I really loved it, far more than I expected to. Every character was really well done, and I really liked how the story was centred on women's experiences in various workplaces/times in their life. It also gave me age gap brainrot, I won't lie. I loved the gradual build from coworkers to friendship to romance with Qi Xiao and Shen Ruoxin. I will say tho... I would like to know what whoever dressed Wang Hedi in this show was thinking. Some of those outfits were... a choice lol.

Till the End of the Moon (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

Everyone has seen or at least heard about it at this point. Dare I say it's iconic? I won't lie, my rating upon finishing it was lower. I had issues with the pacing in parts and I found the last episodes difficult to get thru because they just didn't capture my attention the way the beginning of the drama did. However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. Plus, the performances by Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu are amazing. And I really feel they embody the "enemies to lovers" trope better than anyone!

A Romance of the Little Forest (2022) ⭐️ 7

Tbh... this show deserves less than a 7, but I rated it as such because I love my queen Xinxin, and her chemistry with Zhang Binbin was good. I think this would've worked better as a 24-episode drama, as the last couple plot arcs felt kind of tacked on. It's great if you want to see Yu Shuxin in various adorable outfits and a fun fake dating plot, but maybe stopping midway is good enough. Fair warning, the second couple's storyline was awful on several levels. Essentially, the man lies about being in a wheelchair to garner sympathy with his crush, who herself is partially Deaf. Yeah, it's BAD. Just skip all their scenes.

Back from the Brink (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

I really enjoyed this, especially how silly it could be. They really amped up the humour, and to me that worked well. At the same time, there were also some very heartfelt moments that made me tear up. I really liked the side couples as well, they were all quite likeable. It was just a really fun show from beginning to end.

The Starry Love (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

I really enjoyed this, up until the last arc. I found after that, it dragged a bit. To be honest, it dragged a bit in earlier parts too. What saved it for me was the humour, the relationship between the two sisters, the Void Realm subplots, and the adorable Di Lanjue. Unfortunately, Yetan/Youqin didn't really do much for me, but I still found them enjoyable at times.

The Wolf (2020) ⭐️ 8.5

This was a surprise for me. I didn't expect I'd like it much going in, but I still wanted to give it a try for my guy Xiao Zhan. I'd tried watching it before when it first aired, but I found the first couple episodes too cheesy. I still found them incredibly cheesy this time, but after about midway through episode 3 when the main plot kicked off, I found myself really invested. Fair warning, Xiao Zhan only shows up in episode 11, so if you're watching it just for him, you may be disappointed. Fortunately, I found myself invested in all the characters quite a bit. If you like messy toxic bitches, this is the drama for you. Warning: there was an attempted rape scene I found quite uncomfortable (though it's not played as being romantic, thankfully). There are a couple other dubcon incidents I wasn't a huge fan of, and one character has a miscarriage. Just things to keep in mind before viewing.

My Journey to You ⭐️ 8

Where do I even start here? Once again, I probably should rate it lower, because the story itself is a mess. HOWEVER, the characters, aesthetics, and cinematography are all excellent. The characters are really what stayed with me the most, and the episode focusing on Yun Que was devastating in all the best ways. The beginning episodes were also fantastic, the way the story unfurled. It just became clear in the latter half of the series that the writer had written himself into a corner and didn't know how to get out. Frustrating, but I don't regret my journey with this show (heh, get it). It's for that reason I'm not sure I can ever rec it to anyone, but I'll gladly talk about it to anyone who will listen.

Never Give Up (2023) ⭐️ 8.5

This was a fun office sitcom-style drama that I really breezed through after the horror show that was MJTY. Lighthearted with short episodes, it was very enjoyable. If you've ever worked in an office, you can probably relate. Once again, I'd like to speak with whoever dressed Wang Hedi cuz they made some interesting choices lol.

Ancient Love Poetry (2021) ⭐️ 9

Another surprise for me. I had tried the first episodes a while back and found it a bit dense, but restarting it this year I found it a lot more interesting. Maybe having more xianxia general knowledge helped me out. It was a really beautifully done drama. The CGI and sets were all superb. There was a whole host of characters to get invested in as well. It was a truly epic story from start to finish.

Destined With You (2023) ⭐️ 7.5

The one Kdrama on this list! I really loved the two actors, their chemistry, and the plot in general, but the pacing in the middle took me out a bit. I would still recommend watching it, as there was lots to enjoy. The modern with magic elements were really intriguing, as was the concept of past lives. I also like that the ML and 2ndML work together instead of constantly butting heads once it becomes clear who the FL will pick. The flashbacks to the past life were also really interesting--I wish we'd had more of that tbh! I'll definitely be looking out for both actors in other dramas!

As for the shows I placed on hold, I will likely stop lying to myself and drop them. But I might give them another shot before doing so. I'm still really disappointed by Only for Love, but I couldn't bring myself to finish it. Not even the power of Didi and Bai Lu could make me do it. It just got too frustrating.

Now, I'm currently watching Story of Kunning Palace, Royal Rumours, and The Last Immortal. I'm not super sold on the last 2, but SOKP has really grabbed me by the throat (just like Xie Wei to Jiang Xuening) so I'm glad to be starting the year off strong!

[daily-whistlepaw]

No way ur on day 1296

yes way I am

(And I could go on with even more screenshots of my folders, that's a lot of files and probably a good part of the reason my laptop makes more sound than an airplane)

I carefully number them all and yes I have been at it for three years and a half by now. If you scroll down this blog you will see them all day by day.

Daily whistlepaw began early 2021 (january 10th to be exact), but I had been thinking about it since late 2020 and was mostly inspired by daily squirrelflight. I too had a thing I wanted the authors to do and after some careful consideration of if I'd actually be able to do it and not have it be a short stint, I just began.

You will see that my early art is quite different because I grew A LOT while drawing Whistlepaw every single day (with a few misses that I caught up as soon as possible, that's why sometimes you'll see a few drawings posted the same day when I was too tired or swamped with schoolwork the day prior or so). It's been a long project so far and I am spiteful and will not stop any time soon. Daily whis is my silly obligation of the day, the One Thing I know I will do in a day, no matter if it's a detailed piece or the hastiest class doodle. I do not like missing days and will often make a traditional piece on the spot with other people around if my daily quota hasn't been reached and I manage to find even the smallest opportunity.

Honestly a big reason it ever go so big was that I had a lot of time in those early years of daily whis. the schoolwork wasn't as heavy and I was just freestyling this all for funsies and I got attached and it led to three and a half years of daily whistlepaw, some very nonsensical or half batshit ideas/headcanons (gotta use those starphones more), a whole google docs to try and keep things more organized that I began working on a little while ago and should finish, and just a lot of fun. Usually I keep these sappy rants for the big day celebrations, but Whistlepaw has genuinely become a huge part of my life and the one thing I default to doodle whenever I'm bored. Most of my profile pictures and even my phone background are all drawings I did for daily whistlepaw. My friends know that cat as ME; When I draw something for a silly joke of ours, it's Whistlepaw I use and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.

The Erins have acknowledged my existence (at least in an oblique way) in that article about Whistlepaw they did a little while ago and new material for Whistlepaw is actually being written in the books. Whis is a relatively major part of ASC and Ivypool's Heart, and even then I have my own entire world with this little blue cat. Heck, I began an original little story that's been posted as part of the daily drawings on occasion now and it is just very fun to be doing all of this and that's the main part of this. I enjoy this. I love this actually. Whistlepaw is my silly character, mostly divorced from canon, yes, but what does canon have to offer? I like the Whistlepaw I draw every day, I like drawing every day, I like the years-long effort I've put into this and how much I've grown because of daily whis and how much daily whis has grown with me.

Sometimes it feels like a chore, but that's the rare occasions when I am tired or dealing with a bad case of artblock and daily whis, when pushed a little harder, is often a good part of what drags me out of artblock again, and it is good exercise to draw every day. You only becomes good at something by doing it regularly and the massive improvments I made with my art here are quite good proof of that.

So to finish an answer that truly shouldn't have been this long, but I like talking. Yes way I am at day 1296 and I'm aiming for day 2000 and more!

[thereallivingded]

8 months

Nearly 8 months have passed since I blogged. Damn.

I apologize profusely if anyone was interested in my ramblings. I have zero excuses other than life got hard. Full time job. Which I hated profusely - not that I'm not going to be working full time again soon - tends to bring on crushing depression when I feel stuck in it. Which I did, and I was. When you are paid bi-weekly and you see that entire paycheck go to your cost of living.. well. It doesn't do good things to your psyche. Energy levels get low and all that extra you had energy for before gets used up with day to day survival. Getting out of bed. Getting to work. Feeding yourself. Cleaning your house. Squeezing in workout (a thing I do now).

It's not all bad I suppose. I've finally been able to interview for and obtain a position that will not only net me a raise but be closer to home. Hopefully, that should get me more free time to pursue the things I actually enjoy.

I'd like to say that in this time I've been able to tackle my backlog of Steam games. But. Well. BG3 happened. And I spent even more time in the game than I had in early access. It's maddening how much time I've sunk into Faerun. I have no regrets though.

The only thing really that's kept me from finishing my campaign - as I am in Act 3 - is my computer. I haven't upgraded the beast since 2020 or 2021-ish. And it's starting to show. My mobo is acting extraordinarily peculiar. Sometimes I'll walk away from my computer to come back a couple hours later and find it stuck in bios. Super fun. The connection to the mobo gets wiggled a little and everything pops back on. Super. However, anything heavy to run - like BG3 - tends to get very crash-y.

Again. Super.

T.T

AND. Due to my financial constraints because of the job I recently left, I was completely unable to fix this. I'm hoping with the advent of the new job, getting a few paychecks in to stabilize, I can rectify the problems. Hopefully.

I started a couple of fanfics for the first time ever. I am ridiculously shy about them. My writing skills have become so sodding rusty. The stories came to me while I was playing BG3 and I was compelled to write them down. Note now, that the frequency of updates directly reflects the time I have to invest in them. So keep that in mind.

Be gentle on me here lol!

I have been able to get some gaming done. I have ceased playing Back 4 Blood, as it became no longer supported by its dev team. A sad move really. The gaming industry as a whole has become this parasitic beast. Devs work on a game for an extremely limited amount of time and abandon it the moment it becomes less lucrative than their board of directors care for.

There is a trend towards monetization of minutiae and online play in inappropriate genres, that has become an insidious infection in the game industry. It robs us of good game development. There's this mentality of more, more, now that's just slow poison to the whole beast. It makes everything very same-y and boring.

Which is why I strive at this point in my life, to not give money to the companies which I feel are most guilty of this. The only way to make these corporations listen is to hit them in the $. As such I will probably be carefully curating any games I discuss or mention on this blog from here on. My next post will likely be discussing a visual novel I've spent some time in that I equal parts enjoyed and became frustrated with. So that's in the pipeline. Until then keep to the lights lovies. <3

[revilleaj]

Art update & 3D Robodi model images

It has been quite a while since I've last really done anything online. I've been heavily burned out and tired constantly since at least December or so (I have done drawings in months prior, but I have never posted them publically). I still do not have a new computer, even though I have enough money (about £1k) to buy the parts or even an entire computer, but there are other factors in life that need more attention being put towards right now.

I'm still in the midst of trying to get a job (damn required experience and driving license listings!), and drawing right now is bottom priority. It feels like a chore and it's not fun when I have rusted from not drawing in so long (making so many mistakes really sets off my anger problems). I really do not like being pressured into trying to do things, and I have been experimenting with 3D, but only to an extent.

So, with that said, I am going to put making newer drawings on hold for an indefinite amount of time until I feel motivated enough to draw. I'm not done with art entirely and I never will be, but I think I really shouldn't pressure myself as if art is some kind of requirement in life. I've been also having drawing tablet issues, and I noticed there's a small crack in my Huion that I haven't been able to use almost ever since I had it (thankfully the thing still works, and the crack is near the top, only half getting on the drawing area).

I may also finally add some images to my empty DeviantArt account. As much as I do not like that website nor its community, I think it would work if I just put my favorite drawings I've worked on there, specifically ones up until the end of 2023. All of the really old and weaker art (mostly from 2018 and 2020, and anything from 2017) I won't be reposting, as they no longer reflect me, and have not done so for a very long time.

-----

Now, for the second topic of this post, and in a much better light; the 3D Robodi model. I'm sure I've talked about this years ago on Twitter. Back in 2020, when I was still in my first year of university, I worked on a 3D model of one of my characters named Robodi, using Cinema 4D. It was never finished, but I did learn quite a bit when working on it. Here's some newer screenshots of him, now that I've managed to pick back up an older version of C4D (I do not like the 2022 UI layout change):

This is the last version of the model to not be animated, from May 2020. The image is rendered using the Sketch & Toon shader with the Standard renderer. A few options were altered to remove unnecessary outlines.

The model in the renderer itself; right is the objects list, bottom are the materials (vertex colors and textures, some with C4D specific features).

The last ever version of this specific model from September 2021, with the FOV heavily reduced to improve the depth. A single black thin cube was added between the eyes to create a fake extra outline. A bit of a hacky effect; I did not know how to do inverted normals, in fact I don't think I knew that was how most computer games handled outlines.

The very first saved version of the model, in Cinema 4D's editor, made earlier in May 2020. The pieces have default names and are not parented, some materials are not added yet, and the shapes are noticeably bigger, especially the base of the head and the torso.

I once experimented with "realistic" materials and shading (including the dreadfully slow Global Illumination), which doesn't make the most sense for a cartoon character. Here you can see the unit plate on the back of his head, which I don't think I have ever shown before. The camera may look close here, but it's actually extremely far away with a very low FOV (dubbed Super-Telescope). Some textures are no longer in the project files, so this looks slightly off from how it did back in 2020.

In October 2021, I went back to the older May 2020 model and decided to try and remake it. I realized that using one mesh and extruding it works a lot better with the Sketch & Toon shader, as it does not create unnecessary outlines when the default shader options are left the way they are. The lines in the middle of the eyes and nose are from the shader, rather than a black material cube. Of course, it would be more wise to just duplicate each mesh, enlarge them and invert the normals while applying a pitch black texture to them. I abandoned the model shortly after the progress I made here, and I am not sure why. Maybe I was burned out and lost interest.

I should probably try to attempt making a 3D model of him again and some others, now that I know a lot more than I did nearly 4 years ago (yeah, can you believe it has also been nearly 6 years since my Reville character was created? Robodi was first created in mid-2019; almost 5 years ago! Good things take time and care). It will be a difficult task, but I'll make sure to export whatever I make to a .FBX model, so that it doesn't get lost to C4D licensing Hell. Hopefully, that would make the models work in Blender and such (the materials will have to be baked into textures however, instead of being separate C4D ones. At least .FBX doesn't use an external material file unlike .OBJ, which I and others have had issues with). Maybe I could use them for rotoscoping or somethin'.

Here's hoping to me eventually finding motivation, losing my tiredness, and getting a job with stable income alongside continuing to work on my passion projects, no matter how much time has past since the day I first thought of them. I want to keep doing things, not resting in bed most of my days. Too bad winter is freezing cold where I live, and I suffer from mild hypothermia...

[yakool-foolio]

this is just a loser finding ways to partially vent but my story it's cringe, undeniably funny, and related to Danganronpa in ways So, uh yeah, if you want to read that'd be nice but if not I understand. When I say Danganronpa is the most impactful media I've ever consumed in my entire life I'm not joking.

I got into Danganronpa after GameGrumps played the first game in 2020, when they finished it I loved it so much I went on to watch someone else play Danganronpa 2. At the time my life was pretty awful, I was sort of becoming numb emotionally everything felt the same day after day, and it's stupid, but when Nagito Komaeda made me feel something after feeling so numb during that time I kind of got obsessed. It was so bad not only did I make myself so much lonelier, but I had to research hyper fixations to know I wasn't insane. So you could say Nagito caused me learning and acknowledging i'm autistic! Which sounds like a big impact until you hear the biggest one.

It was 2021 now, I was still obsessing over Nagito Komaeda and the fixation was so bad that I joined the fandom early before playing v3, Danganronpa on the Nintendo Switch was announced and I was eager and excited so I looked up a ton of reactions on Youtube. A day later Youtube recommended me a live stream, two guys were just joking and playing Danganronpa. My humor was changing but I knew that I laughed at their streams and videos so I stayed, I watched every stream I could and every video uploaded. Eventually I joined their Discord Server, I edit videos so after a while I asked the main owner of the channel for advice on videos and such, and then we bonded over some videos and songs like the v3 hated by life itself animation. After that I always thought of something to text to him every day, as a matter of fact we talked so much that I became behind on School because I'd be talking to him instead. After a while we started calling every day, and then we started face timing, and after that he had confessed to me. At the time I wasn't sure about my sexuality and I had repressed any attraction I felt for anyone out of "respect" So when he confessed to me I was able to think about it finally. It took me 3 days to think about my life and myself and I said yes and we started dating. We met in person 2 times, and dated for 2 years before he broke up with me a few months ago just because life has been hectic I suppose. The channel doesn't have any of its videos public anymore, the server is somehow barely alive for now despite one of the owners already leaving and the other just not talking much, and basically anything that came from all of it no one will know about other than the small group of mutuals that keep in touch and me making these. Most of those mutuals still don't even know that we ever dated. The channel is Emigc btw I think the only thing ever left public is someone reacting to a video he made on Danganronpa S.

anyway boohoo story sad ending but yeah that's how Nagito Komaeda helped me experience my first romantic love and know that i'm autistic, that's it. he's still funnily enough one of my favorite characters of all time i'm normal about him now at the very least Lmao. I finally got into Rain Code after the breakup since I got it for Christmas and it's stupid but it really does feel like the next step? if that makes sense? Danganronpa was the impact to my life, Rain Code is what I'm loving in the aftermath of what Danganronpa has done to my life. I honestly have loved Rain Code somehow even more than I loved Danganronpa, maybe not to the insane extent of Nagito though Lmao. Oh yeah, I also completely skipped over how Danganronpa helped me bond even more with my best friend who feels like a brother to me now but this is already long enough! I've just been making messages about what happened because those were the happiest years of my life and I miss it.

thanks for reading if you did

Goes to show that media really does have a grand effect on our daily lives. From my personal experience, I wouldn't have met any of my friend group, aptly named Ding Dong Bing Bong, without Danganronpa. Long story short, I started playing the first game after watching Game Grumps' playthrough of the 2nd game (and proceeded to spoil myself about the entire trilogy), and I did so in a Discord server. Someone ended up joining me during the start of the prologue, and we shared in voicing the characters. After a few days, another person joined, then another, then another. And now we're a tight huddle of ten after more than a year of playing games together!

It's interesting to hear how the Dangan series, Rain Code, and other media has affected other people as well. Meeting new people, discovering new things about ourselves, and watering our creative roots! Looking back on the moments can boost our spirits, too! I hope the future bodes well for you as you continue to enjoy your interests!

[rubalotl]

Tunnel vision

I get such tunnel vision when something grabs my interest, I focus on that thing so much to the point of making my brain feel exhausted. Honestly, it's kind of a problem. I shouldn't push my brain's energy capacity to its limit all the time.

Lately, that has been with games. But I hope I can direct that hyperfocus into art one day once again, but learn to pace myself better so I don't exhaust my brain and burn out again.

At least I've got to play a lot of games during my art burnout (which started around mid 2020 or the start of 2021), a bunch of these games were on my to-do list but didn't have time to play and it feels very good to have gotten through them.

I'm gonna try to remember them all and roughly when I played them:

Replayed Okami on Switch

A bunch of small indies: ABZU | Koral | Fe | Koi DX | The First Tree

Pokémon Sword & Shield (Started Nov 2019)

Animal Crossing New Horizons (Started Mar 2020)

Guild Wars 2 (Started Dec 2020, still playing daily)

Age of Calamity (Feb 2021)

Shiny hunted all the legendaries in ORAS (Finished Apr 2021)

Temtem (Apr 2021)

Pokémon Snap (May 2021)

Pokémon XD Gale of Darkness (Won an auction for it Jul 2021)

Monster Hunter Stories 2 Wings of Ruin Demo (Jul 2021)

A little bit of Planet Zoo (Aug 2021)

Shiny Hunted some in HG (Lugia Oct 12, 2021 | Mewtwo Oct 31, 2021 | Charmander Jul 7, 2022 | Kyogre Jul 19, 2022)

ACNH Happy Home Paradise (Nov 2021)

Pokémon BDSP (Nov 2021)

Pokémon Legends Arceus (Jan 2022)

GW2 End of Dragons (Feb 2022)

Kirby and the Forgotten Land (Jul 2022)

Coromon (Aug 2022)

Replayed Slime Rancher on Switch (Aug 2022)

Ooblets (Sep 2022)

Pikmin 3 Deluxe (Sep 2022)

Slime Rancher 2 Early Access (Sep 2022)

A Short Hike (Sep 2022)

Stray (Oct 2022)

Nexomon (Oct 2022)

Bugsnax (Nov 2022)

Pokémon Scarlet & Violet (Nov 2022)

Nexomon Extinction (Jan 2023)

Age of Calamity DLC (Feb 2023)

Monster Hunter Stories 2 Wings of Ruin (Mar 2023)

Next on the list is: Monster Hunter Rise + Sunbreak DLC | Tears of the Kingdom | Yooka-Laylee | A Link Between Worlds | Four Swords Adventures | The Teal Mask & The Indigo Disk | More Planet Zoo

I want to finally build a proper zoo in Planet Zoo, it's not a game that goes well together with creative burnout since it requires creativity to build stuff in it. So I haven't been able to give it the attention it deserves.

I've already decided that 2023 will be another gaming year. I'm almost all the way through my to-do list of games, and after that, I'll assess what I want to do next.

[sugareey-makes-stuff]

Hey Krissy! For the ask game, how about numbers 1 and 3 or 4 from your Where do we go from here? series, please? (which I love to bits) You can do for all of the fics in it or one/some or overall,, anything you like ❣️ Thank you

Hi CBG! Oh gods, I've been meaning to answer this for a while, so now is better than never! I'm glad you're enjoying these little one shots for this whole arc (which will have something added to it later this year since I have 1-2 one shots in progress already). 1: What inspired you to write the fic this way? Where do I even start? You know, when I wanted to get back into writing again in 2020, I need something to motivate me so I thought I’d pick up a prompt table from rarepair_shorts to do that. I had already been drawing Perciver for a while, and I had binge-read everything that existed. But I wanted more content with missing moments and scenes from Percy’s PoV and Oliver’s PoV that loosely followed canon. So, I decided to go make that myself, I guess? I have no chill and I'm self-indulgent. 😂 Rather than writing a bunch of random one shots, I adapted the prompt table as my foundation to make a world where Percy and Oliver are best friends, go through the ups and downs of growing up, break apart and then reunite. Because those are all normal things that happen in life. And they're human. When I was outlining how each prompt would inspire something for a fic, I ended up with a really big doc that became my blueprints for this series. I also decided to say screw it with the "rules," and I've written what I have so far out of order and I've been updating that way too. A lot of my writing ends up being influenced by what I can provide at a given moment, and sometimes, chronological order doesn't always work (and can hinder the creative juices). When I finally posted up Little did I know in May 2021 (because yeah, it took a year to finish, edit and have the bravery to post something I wrote after not having done that in a looonggg time), I had low expectations. And I knew there wasn't nearly as much traction for rare pairs as there are for common ships. But I'm grateful I wrote something for myself, and I'm still proud of how it came out. LOL, little did I know that people would eat that story right up and want more. The rest is history. 😉 3: What’s your favorite line of narration? From Love me like that:

But there was something about the way Percy pronounced and stressed syllables so smoothly in Gàidhlig that made his blood run hot.

I adore this line because the fact that Percy knows how to speak Scottish Gaelic, and that Oliver likes that a lot gives me all the feels (and being able to incorporate Gaelic in this fic put some of my knowledge to good use!). 4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? From There's a guiding light, this is more of a dialogue excerpt:

“You’re already an expert though,” Percy stated, lips quirking up as the husky nuzzled his fingers before taking off. “Only because I know what to focus on now,” Oliver admitted, an unexpected flush colouring his cheeks. “Your turn.”

This right here, just shows how much Oliver cares (and loves) Percy. As a friend, and human being, and this is what I appreciate about these two. 💖 Thanks for the asks! ___ Have more fan fic q's? Feel free to ask away!

[girlstrider]

Hey, remember that self insert acecattorney au that i made? I got more lore for it and possible retconning because i realized my ideas back then weren't realistic

Here's how it is now:

In the beginning of the au, winter of 2020, i was quite shy and took a long time to even trust phoenix alone to be able to hold a comfortable conversation with him

Only towards the end of the internship, i become somewhat close to him

Around spring 2021, i was comfortable enough to come out as nonbinary to him, making him the very first person i came out to in this au

Upon hearing this, he gave me the nickname nat, which later becomes my new name

After that, we unfortunately fall out of contact slowly until we meet again almost two years later, february 2023

He has to defend one of my teachers who's wrongfully accused of murder

He comes to my school to investigate the bunker in the basement of the school, where the crime scene is

He's glad to see me again but is surprised that i've seemingly changed in attitude, but eventually just finds out i'm only like that around my best friend

Around him i'm still pretty shy at first, almost as shy as when my internship at his law office ended

Phoenix is a bit bummed at the thought of having to befriend me again, but decides to do it and talks to me whenever he gets the chance to

We both find out that we're big fans of doctor who and he finds out i've watched south park during the two years

Phoenix eventually befriends me again and gains the trust of my best friend, causing him to be included in the friend group

He learns about the way we show our friendship (showing each other the middle finger affectionately, insulting each other and lighthearted bullying) and is surprised and confused about it but tries to tag along, which comes off as awkward at first, but he does get the hang of it

He also finds out that in serious situations, where we need comfort, we immediately turn from well-meaning bullies to worried and genuinely caring friends, dropping everything to be there for each other

I've forgotten bits and pieces of the au, so i just decided to update it while knowing more of the lore than back then

Here are some important details:

Phoenix's disbarment never happened, but he still got to adopt trucy

Phoenix and miles married sometime in 2019

Miles got to adopt kay

The four moved to germany in early 2020, before the pandemic broke out in germany

And now for some stupid headcanons i made for this au thst make absolutely no sense whatsoever:

After my best friend finds out sans from undertale calls guacamole "guac dip" and gets offended by it, phoenix bullies him about it, to which he promptly recieves "friendly punchies" from him

He bullies my best friend multiple times throughout the same day and every time he does he gets friendly punchies

I manage to get phoenix into deponia, with him eventually admitting to me that he has a small crush on rufus

After he gets the games for himself, he calls me in the middle of the night, admitting that he's been playing all night and wanted someone to talk to after finishing the first game

Phoenix gets called "igelkopf" by the friend group, which translates to hedgehog head

Phoenix drinks energy drinks from time to time but will deny it, especially when you offer him one

When you offer him an energy drink, he'll snatch it from you WHILE STILL DENYING HE DRINKS THEM and as soon as he takes the first sip, he's like "alright, you got me, that stuff is alright"

(Now a few lighthearted ones)

He knows i see him like a big brother and plays into that role by accommodating my needs as an autistic person and caring for me

He felt pity for me when i told him my situation at home and my relationship to my mother got worse since the internship, which is also the reason he plays into the big brother role

When i first told him i changed my middle name to his name, he took it as a joke, but after i told him a week later that it wasn't a joke, he got very emotional

He notices i've gotten sensitive to loud noises and gets worried since during the internship he could slam his hands on the desk during trials right next to me and i wouldn't even flinch

Ok, this is quite a lot, but it needed to be written down or else i forget sone details again