#i'm your left arm
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writinganon1 · 4 days ago
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@cokoweee
Ya’ll ever have a dream so lifelike it feels aggressively real until one thing goes a little too wrong and then you start to realize that maybe you’re in a dream but it’s also too real to convince yourself it’s not real that you can’t wake yourself up? 
TW: panic attack, I say gun, uhhh blood ig? Bishop says a kinda weird thing but that's just him bein him
can I say blood? last time I did it marked me as mature...
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Her heart thumped against her chest, lactic acid building in her legs as she ran. She tapped furiously at her phone, fingers slipping over the screen as she tried to deploy Sheldon. 
Donnie says “no no no” chimed a pixilated picture of Othello, his finger waving back and forth. 
“What the-” She slammed against a wall, her shoulder crunching against the brick. 
His stupid programming on the poor thing to keep Sheldon at his house. Maybe she could override it? 
No, not enough time. She was just going to have to run and hope for the best. 
Her shoulder screamed in protest as she climbed the ladder in the alley. Scrambling over the side of the building to catch her breath, she tapped at the screen again. 
There had to be something she could do to foil his programming. She wiped at her nose, the cold still not quite gone even after days of bed rest. Bullets flew over the edge of the building, seemingly locking on to her body heat. Throwing herself at the ledge at the last second to force the bullets to crash into the wall she coughed violently, phlegm coating her throat.
Stupid sickness. 
Stupid Othello leaving her with the stupid rabbit farmer.
She pushed herself off the ground, arms struggling under the weight of herself. It was as if every muscle in her body was on fire, each fiber screaming at her to stop. She gulped raising her head over the ledge. Agent Bishop was standing on the adjacent rooftop, his face curled into a sneer, eyes unblinking despite the sun in his eyes. 
He waved at her, fingers waggling in the air as he pulled a small gun from his pocket. Aiming it directly at her chest he grinned, his eyes flickering with something distinctly unhuman. 
She stumbled backward, her feet skidding over the concrete as he seemed to lock onto her. Loose rock dug into her knees as she clambered over the rooftop. 
Away.
All she needed to do was get away. 
She placed a hand over her stomach, feeling the raised bump of the scar, as she moved.
This was…
This was wrong? 
It didn’t happen this way. 
No. She didn’t need to get away, she needed to get out. 
The bullet ripped into her skin, tearing away at muscle, and shattering the bone in her rib.
She screamed, blood pouring from the gaping hole in her chest, as Bishop moved closer. He walked to her side, footsteps clanking against the concrete. 
Clawing at the ground she dragged her body along the roof, rocks digging under her nails. Bishop laughed, his foot trampling her hand, digging it into the ground. She gasped, breathing shallowly as she fought to get loose. 
He grabbed her hair, wrapping it between his fingers and tightening his grip as he pulled her from the floor. 
“Oh, this is wonderful.” He smiled, voice dripping with venom. “Such a pretty little thing I caught this evening. I’ve been dying to chat with you.” He pulled her hair up, forcing her to rise. “I wonder if she’ll do any tricks?” 
She spat in his face, her ears filled with an all-consuming ringing. 
Away. 
She needed to get away. 
It didn’t matter how. She needed to get away. 
He said something else, flaunting some sort of mechanism he had hidden in his shirt. She tried to focus on his words, but her breathing was too shallow, her limbs too shaky, the ringing too loud for her to hear a word. 
She clamped a hand over her chest, a sorry attempt to staunch the flow of blood from the gaping hole in her body. Cursing softly she watched as the red seeped into a slithering pink fleshy mass. 
She stifled a scream as the pink turned an orange maroon, her own blood fueling some sort of monster. 
“Shhhhhhh.” Bishop whispered against her ear, “It’ll be done soon. Just one quick slash and you’ll be out of my hair for good.” 
The mass jumped forward, faster than she could comprehend, her body spasming in pain as she scrambled back.
Was this the Krang she’d heard so much about after she’d left the jail? Weren’t they supposed to be mindless or something? 
It lunged forward again, tentacles lashing toward her face. Bishop shook her in front of him, like a toy for a dog. 
“Kendra?”  
She screamed as he tightened his grip on her, shaking her around like a bag of flour. The world around her turned hazy, her vision blurring in and out. 
She wasn’t going to go out without a fight. 
Throwing her head back she jammed her skull into his chin, breaking the grip he had on her hair. 
She clawed at the ground, a strange silky feeling coating her fingers. Pushing away the softness of what was sure to be Krang, she kicked at the mass as it wiggled unnaturally. 
“KENDRA!” A familiar voice shouted at her, a gentle three-fingered nubby touch against her arm. 
Her eyes flew open, arms flailing to the sides to swat at what was left of the Krang matter, as hands held her back. She gasped, her chest heaving as a sinking feeling hit her gut. Dread splashed over her head like a wave, drowning her, leaving nothing but fear.
Eyes widening she looked next to her for Tello, horrified as darkness encroached on her vision, leaving her staring through a pin hole. Nausea rolled through her stomach as she gasped for air, her chest shuddering to keep up with her breathing. 
It hurt. It hurt so bad. 
“Hey, hey, hey.” He whispered, hand placed against her back. “It’s ok you’re home. You’re with me.” 
She jerked backward. He was loud. So so loud. Even with the ringing in her ears, he was too loud. 
Breaths were punched from her lungs faster than she could finish taking them in. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes blew wide. Her chest tightened, lungs twisting as she shook. 
She’s dying. She has to be dying. There’s no other explanation. 
Dead in her room from a nightmare-induced heart attack,  
Her eyes flickered back and forth over the room, not focusing on anything, just wildly scanning for danger she knew wasn’t there. Willing her arm to move, she let out a chocked warble. 
The room seemed to melt around her. Things blurred together, a fuzzy abstract painting of almost-real-life. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tightened her muscles. 
Her whole body shook as she tried to take steadying breaths. 
“Did you know softshell turtles only have half a plastron?” 
She was in the middle of dying. 
She most definitely did not need turtle facts right now. 
“Technically a full one, but it’s covered by skin, rendering it effectively useless for plastron purposes.” He shrugs. “Same deal as the shell.” 
She looked at him, confusion breaking through the panic. 
“Makes us really flexible though. Wanna see?” 
He got off the bed, walked to the middle of the room, and bent backward. He smiled upside down at her from the floor and smoothly brought himself back up. 
“Pretty neat huh?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Bet no other turtle you meet could do that.” 
Amusement rippled through her as she watched him demonstrate his stretches and various yoga poses.
“I’ve never met another turtle like you.” She breathed, some of the panic melting away. 
“Precisely! No one can do it like me!” He said, pointing his finger at her triumphantly before his face softened. “ We starting to feel a bit better?” 
She brought her thumb and pointer finger close together. A little 
He nodded. “Am I good to come back up or do you need some space?” 
She patted the bed next to her, inviting him closer. She waited until he was seated comfortably before slumping against his shoulder, exhausted. 
He shifted slightly, reaching for his phone with one hand, the other wrapped around her. He let them sit for a moment, reminding her to breathe every few seconds before Sheldon zipped into the room. 
He whispered something to Othello before zooming out of the room. She watched passively as it happened, her body still not quite connected to her soul. 
Sheldon returned moments later, a bag of ice, a bottle of water, a cookie, and tub of lavender lotion in his little propeller arms. 
Othello took them from him, patted his head, and shooed him away. Taking one of the ice cubes he flattened out her hand and placed it in her palm. 
She jerked slightly at the sensation of cold in her hand, surprised when he placed another in her palm. 
“Focus on the melting.” He said, voice low and gentle. 
The ice filled the lines of her hand and dripped over the sides and down her arm. She shivered as the water pooled in her hand. Othello grabbed the cookie from the pile he had created and broke off half to give to her. 
“Thanks?”
He watched her carefully. “What does it taste like?” 
“A cookie?” She said through a mouthful, her hands still full of TV static. 
“I need details.” He pressed. 
She paused, taking a moment to consider the flavors in her mouth. “Vanilla, chocolate chips.” She took another bite. “ Like I left it in the oven a minute or two too long and overcooked them just slightly.” 
She’d have to make another batch, this time keeping an eye on the time. 
He pressed an uncapped water bottle into her hand. “Drink.” 
She pressed the bottle to her lips, feeling the way the cold blossomed against her skin as she held it there. Quietly observing the way she could feel it go down her throat and into her stomach. 
“Are we feeling more alive?” 
She nodded, running her hand along her thigh to feel the fabric of her pajama pants as she pressed her head against his side. 
“Good.” He murmured, sleep creeping into his voice. “You had a panic attack I’m pretty sure.” 
“...Sorry it was for something stupid.” 
“I get worked up over stupid stuff too.” He mumbled, eyes half closed. 
“Your stuff isn’t stupid.” She countered. 
“Then neither is yours.” 
She stopped, lifting her head to look up at him.
He grabbed her hand, flexing the fingers for her. “You feel ok?” 
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly. 
He nodded and guided her to a lying position. “Tell me five of your favorite things.” 
She paused, looking around the room. “Hmmmmm. You.” 
“Thank you.” 
“Mhm. Uhhh, lavender. The color purple. Satin jackets. Baking. Messing around in the lab. Oh, I guess that’s more than five.” 
He tapped her shoulders rhythmically, “You can keep going if you need to.” 
She took in a deep breath. “I think I’m ok now.” 
“Positive?” 
Nodding she pulled the blankets over herself. What she really needed was rest. She was so exhausted from the whole ordeal that the idea of doing anything else felt impossible. 
He got off the bed again, searching beneath the bedframe for something before he pulled a large purple blanket from under the bed. She blinked in surprise as he placed it over her, a weight holding her down to the bed. 
“I should’ve mentioned it was weighted.” 
She pulled her hand out to give a quick thumbs up as he climbed back into bed. She shifted to hold out her arm for a hug. He smiled and pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist. 
“You smell like you’ve been using my soap.” She grumbled against his plastron. 
He shrugged. “ I like the way you smell.” 
Rolling her eyes she tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders smiling as soft chirping filled the room, the sound he always made right as he fell asleep. 
“Good night Tello.” She whispered.
His plastron vibrated as he churred back, gently running circles through her hair. 
She was home. And she was safe.
~
squad don't write stuff at four AM I'm pretty sure this only makes sense to me at this point. Anyway I was listening to my pretty princess playlist while writing this 💁‍♀️
the reason why this was written is in the tags btw
#Me and my friend were hanging out and she got all excited when I told her I was minoring in creative writing#she asked for me to read me some of my stuff and I agreed LIKE AN IDOIT#well i open my docs and low and behold it's what I posted yesterday#mind you that doc is titled ugly sewer man and his pretty wife#i scroll before she can see the title but at this point I have to read this one#its too late for me to exit the doc without me being suspicious#I read it and she's all like “Well butter my backside and call me a biscuit I forgot you wrote but you do a pretty dang good job!”#I'm just sweating bullets coz I just read her my fanfic of Donatello the ninja turtle and Kendra the dragon chick#she'll never know and I'll never tell her that she was read kendratello fanfic with the names and some of the words replaced#its worth it to say that this isn't the first time that this has happened with her#last time it was the freaking really long one with Leo dying dead and Don also trying to die dead#i went home and cooked myself some pasta to recover because wtf was that#and I was so upset by the situation that instead of sleeping I wrote more kendratello fanfic?#pee pee poo poo#caca dodo even#FOUR AM BABY AND IM STILL HEREEEEEE#Ya'll also got some free stuff to use to help a hommie out if they ever start having a panic attack#tapping method will work on yourself as well if you start feeling freaked out or not in your body.#just cross your arms over your torso and put your left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa tapping your shoulders one at a time#im sleepin now#gn yall
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chaikajpeg · 5 months ago
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Would you consider drawing chise x joseph?
anon you're not gonna believe what i've been doing the whole day today
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andy-clutterbuck · 1 year ago
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piningpercussionist · 7 months ago
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I d ont want to work on this anymore you can't make me,, sorry LisIm nation-
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wizardlyghost · 4 months ago
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need to be put in the machine that twists your bones and muscles into symmetrical and healthy positions
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keeps-ache · 8 months ago
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HEY
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#pink space#i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3#the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33#//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms#like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs#//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally#i need to digitize more of these. Because#though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to#change that lol :)#also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs#was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950#which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing]#1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :>#//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh#nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3#stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe#by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control]#//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way#/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol-#i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>>#i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere#even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol#i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs#//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>
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nobodyexpectsthe · 27 days ago
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anders: i need you to say it pirith: anders: pirith, say it or i won't forgive you pirith: pirith: i love you more than solas. pirith: but not as much as i love ghila anders: more than a god but less than a deer, I'll take it.
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robinmage · 8 months ago
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no kind of relationship will ever be as impactful as the slightly toxic slightly homoromantic hyperdependent bestfriendship you had with someone when you were like 12
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probably-voldemort · 7 months ago
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Update:
I am fully caught up on my course and have nothing else due for it until Friday next week so (theoretically but like incredibly optimistically hopefully) I should have time this week to get the next chapter of darling finished and posted
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ratcandy · 1 year ago
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literallyso embarrassing having to tell nurses yeah I have a horrible phobia of needles i can faint from it . yeah you have to talk to me during it or i will have a panic attack. yeah no you can't count down. no i can't watch it happen either. do not let me look at it . please keep talking to me if you stop for any length of time i will go insane. yes i have gotten blood work done 1 million times . no i'm not normal about it sorry.
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turtlemagnum · 7 months ago
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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andy-clutterbuck · 1 year ago
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8x16 | Wrath
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snowfea · 4 months ago
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Oh the pain in my right arm right now. Oh boy. The neurostimulator isn't even enough to make it less noticeable anymore.
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camellia-thea · 5 months ago
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my fucking tremor oh my god
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toughtink · 2 years ago
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okay new tlt psa post! except i really don't want to shame anyone since i also struggle with knowing left vs right, but............... ianthe tridentarius loses her RIGHT arm. not her left. her RIGHT arm gets the gold bone treatment. this is the same arm lost by edward elric, finn adventure time, and luke skywalker. does that help? she's joining the ranks of other scifi fantasy blondes who lose a right arm, except she's a way worse person than all those other ones i listed! i've seen more of left bone arm ianthe fanart in the last month than right and idk i just wanna flip 'em.
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spinoff-antithesis · 2 years ago
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(muth being music theory!)
#FUCK IT MY OWN EDITION OF THE ODDLY SPECIFIC POLLS BC THESE ARE FUN#me when i've been obsessed with space/time stuff since i was a KID its more an interest than hyperfixation rn but man.#media with any of those?? i am OBSESSED (star wars rottmnt movie etc etc) like i hyperfixated on dr who for a year in middle school#the skateboard one is so funny. in high school my guard instructor saw me with a friend's pennyboard & immediately said no.#me when i was notoriously clumsy in middle + high school so everyone i knew was like. “this is a bad idea” when i did anything#my first semester of college i bought a longboard off someone then 5months later i turned around & ate SHIT it was so funny in retrospect#anyway fun sage lore i have only ever heavily injured the left side of my body. my knee + elbow and the SAME FUCKING TOOTH. TWICE.#also i have a high pain tolerance. like idk how or when but in middle school it just got Really Strong. me when i injure myself and just#live with it for a year before it becomes a concern and i get told to get an xray (i will live with a fractured knee the rest of my life)#also when i fell off my skateboard and ate shit my first concern was “ah fuck my glasses did i break my nose” and#“nah my elbow isnt broken! my arm is just rly sore from how i landed on it” (readers. it was in fact fractured.)#like i literally went “no im fine we dont need to tell my mom or go to the er” and my friends said “call your mom and go to the er”#me spitting out my tooth and blood bc i also busted my lip: that hurt. time to hobble back to my dorm.#anyway hiding this one in the tags bc i will never not just ignore my issues LMAO did it with my ptsd dx and i will continue to do it#another incredibly hyperspecific thing: oh this doesnt seem normal! im gonna ignore it and hope it goes away#these symptoms match up to something? nah i'm sure it's not that! (proceeds to get dx'd with ptsd five months later)
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