#i'm well aware this is both nothing and extremely late

[thepringlesofblood]

stardew valley 1.6 be like

[lucanderie]

Still need to mull this over some more, but it's very intriguing how much player-defying Kris proves themselves physically capable of this chapter.

They maliciously comply with our exact wording when asked to turn a doorknob. They cover their mouth midway through a sentence. When asked to say Berdly's name, they repeat themselves loudly in shock. They do PLENTY of physical actions or gestures unprompted, such as kneeling down and touching Ralsei when only prompted to talk, pushing Susie out of harm's way for the second time, giving her their knife with a flourish, laughing or nodding to clarify a statement... as well as their unprompted hijinks at the church. They act by themselves both in the spur of the moment and premeditated, in both low-stakes interactions and highly emotional, instinctive reactions. It seems like they're capable of doing any emoting, physical gesturing, or creative prompt interpretations they so desire apart from a) speaking, b) when directly commanded to do something else and c) in many weird route sequences (will circle back to this). They know entire commands word for word before they execute them, and they are aware enough of the fact that we have goals and what those goals may be to actively conspire against us. Kris knows our "rules".

This is extremely interesting because we saw very little of this in the previous chapters- leading us to believe Kris had basically zero input on Dark-World happenings, and had less understanding of their own situation then say, Ralsei did. But here, Kris isn't just getting more clever about or more accustomed to defying us- they're proving progressively more capable of just doing things of their own volition that any possessed kid who was randomly dropped into this situation with no warning or context would not wait two days to try.

Combined with the fact that from the beginning, they defy us to limit what we see long before they defy what we actually force them to do, (even when they clearly don't like doing it!), and that there's precedent for a character's mindset determining the player's level of control with Susie, it's seeming more and more like Kris is purposefully limiting themselves in earlier chapters. They have a vested interest in "playing the part", coming across to either us or someone else like they have less agency than they do, and they get progressively more open about the amount of defiance that they are capable of.

This is just, a fascinating jump in Kris's amount of agency! At the very least, they may know a similar amount of meta-info to even Ralsei. It changes some of their earlier actions from purely-forced to compliant. And there's a lot of (non-evil, you guys) reasons they would do this- they're probably at least, (at this point), afraid of some kind of retribution from us or their co-conspirators. They want to stay ahead of us by hiding their agency, they may not be comfortable enough with themselves to show express in certain instances... And this changes their defiant actions from things that they are allowed to do into things they are willing to risk doing- saving Susie twice, not hurting Ralsei's feelings, comforting Noelle, slorking down those juice cups like they're NOTHING- all little risks they're willing to take.

This just leaves the weird route- which may either be a route where the player simply gains more control over Kris, or maybe the "proceed" commands could be more general and therefore more inclusive. Or Kris could be initially, willing to play along with freezing the Darkners in order to achieve their goal, to bide their time, and once they realize how fucked up we can get it's too late.

I don't know. I'm definitely missing things, but I just love how much more Kris we have and are eventually going to get.

[ilysungho]

been thinking a lot about a fic with either taesan, myungjae or leehan where reader is in an established relationship with one of them and they haven't even spoken about sex or anything (mostly because either both are virgins or he's had a little bit of experience) since they've dated and it's been a few months since they've started dating, but they're kinda wanting to go further than just some little cute kisses (like maybe they wanna make out, or they give each other head)- and maybe he guides her? or they talk each other through it? talking each other through it would go INSANE

sorry kinda rambled there but are you picking up what I'm putting down (PLSPLSPLS)

a/n: i’ll just keep it general in this! not a fic but it got sorta long, i hope you like it <3 contains: dom!member x sub!reader, inexperienced!member x virgin!reader, nicknames, mutual masturbation, phone sex, praising, edging

a sleepless night of having your fingers in your panties leads you to do things you’ve never thought of before. your boyfriend is nothing if not a sweetheart as he wakes up at 4am to a phone call from you, his sleepy voice filled with concern as he asks you whether you’re alright and why you’re calling so late. he just doesn’t know how badly you need him at the moment, anything about him that would help you reach your fifth climax you’ve been holding in but unable to let go. instead of a proper sentence, the whimper of his name makes him shoot open his eyes, suddenly hyper aware of every sound coming out of his device. the way your breathing is just a mess all over the place as you’re trying your hardest not to moan, the faint sounds of your extremely wet folds as your fingers rub the hell out of them, the light whirring of the fan above you—everything before you croak out a “n-need you p-please,” in your sweet honey like voice.

it drives him over the edge as he hears you plead, asking you what you’re doing as you just blush behind your screen, not even sure why you’re hiding your face because it’s just a voice call. maybe it’s the fact that it’s so late at night, or maybe it’s because you asked, but your boyfriend is nothing short of cooperative as he asks what you need from him first. he himself frees his growing length as you tell him to just say anything, and he doesn’t know much about what you’re like and what you like in bed, so simple praises of you doing so well for him are easily at the top of the what-to-do list. and then next would be to encourage you to make more sounds, to let out whatever you’re holding in, because he wants to hear your pretty voice. as you open up your throat, he arches his back while rubbing up and down his shaft faster. he couldn’t help but think about the faces you’d be making as he pushes his entirety in you, wondering how tight your virgin cunt is. he’s not that experienced either, but he’ll happily take the lead because it’s you he’ll be taking care of.

you already feel close as he instructs you so sweetly, his voice alone getting you where you needed to go in the first place as you build on your past orgasms. but his grunts as you hear him through the phone make you want to be a good girlfriend and wait for him to cum before you do. you start telling him all your fantasies as you edge yourself, stopping your motions every time you feel like you’re about to cum. moans between your sentences telling him how you need him to fuck your hole, denying yourself the pleasure you needed before the phone call as you wait for him to get close, telling him how you wanna cum so so badly, whining so sweetly as you breath heavily every time you let your fingers stop. he’s so close too because of how you’re just… so hot right now as he imagines you splayed on your bed, naked and masturbating because of him.

“ngh doing so… s-so good princess. y-you can cum,” he says as he gets close, giving you permission. your fingers kept going this time, rubbing until the knot in your core exploded like never before. it’s the loudest you’ve moaned all night as you chant his name over and over again, still begging for more as you plead him to fuck you. on the other end, ropes of his hot white semen spill onto his hands as he groans simultaneously, cursing curtly as he hears you beg. he chuckles after, simply asking you whether you can take him as you shut up and moan as the answer, fingers still softly rubbing your clit as you come down from your high.

his soothing voice comes through after, a kiss before as he tells you to go to sleep. the authoritative yet gentle tone he held made you squirm thinking about what he’d be like in real life, wishing you could see him as soon as possible as you give a kiss back, a soft good night falling out of your lips as you close your eyes to fall deep asleep, him doing the same right after.

[ranticore]

I really find the personal side of Qedivar's study of Ishmael and how he relates to him interesting. Are there any misconceptions that Qedivar is kind of projecting onto him because of this feeling of closeness and relatability?

oh GOD yes !!!!!!

i'm going to copy paste some stuff from my dms because i was talking about this exact thing with a friend recently too:

For background I'd not really thought much of the emotional bond between Qedivar and Ishmael until about this week aside from a few jokes about him developing a crush but when actually thinking about it, what stood out to me is the parasocial nature of the bond because of course one is dead and never could have imagined somebody like the other ever existing. There is a voyeuristic slant to it, it's almost similar to making up an oc who suffers continually for your entertainment/catharsis, but it gains this new dimension when the historical figure was real and not just someone you invented, an extension of the self. In this case he's almost turning Ishmael into that extension of himself, adopting him as part of his identity - his biographer.

Qedi lives in a repressive work-work-work environment and he is discriminated against for his characteristics, so he has a natural empathy for Ishmael, but he has these small freedoms that Ishmael couldn't hope for. He is aware of all of this - he's a good scholar and he knows perfectly well (again, more than anyone) what he has and what Ishmael lacked. Basic comforts, for instance

Ultimately the "next morning knowing he's wrong" part comes from some late night imaginings, he has this extreme almost x-ray view of Ishmael at this point, inside and out he has all this information from a 100 year lifespan accessible all at once, this insight which lets him know exactly when he could intervene to "save" Ishmael. If he had a time machine he would know when to appear in Ishmael's life and exactly what he could have said - he could have intervened, because nobody else did when the time was right - but it's a saviour mentality based on an empathetic response to tragedy. In the cold light of day he can go back to writing the paper with objective, detached language, knowing he could have done nothing even if he had been there at the time, because if they were both born in the same time period, he'd have no insight at all into that weird freak from lab block 1. He would behave exactly as everyone else had, with the information available to them.

Which is the big tragedy of being a historian I suppose

The culture Qedivar lives in is one of alienation where you can't even really be friends with anyone, so him thinking he and Ishmael could be friends isn't exactly the right language but an approximation - he'd think they could be close colleagues with an informal friendliness lol. But yes as a bit of an outcast himself the empathy has enough space to turn to this possessive attitude [towards Ishmael]. We're BOTH outcasts therefore I have some degree of authority over how YOU feel.

His own paper is objective and he does a bit of speculation with evidence but the fact of the matter is that outside of Ishmael's own journals (which are not at all exhaustive, he gave up journaling every few months), Qedi has no way of knowing how Ishmael actually felt. He's interpreting and he's fairly accurate but he cannot know the inner thoughts just from video footage and lab write-ups. And in looking at these write-ups, he's also aware that he's participating in the dehumanisation of their subject, hundreds of years later, because they were written by people with zero interest in Ishmael's mental state.

This frustrates Qedi which leads to all that wishful thinking and private speculation and saviour fantasies. But ultimately it does boil down to a kind of "wowww you're so interesting and weird and abused.. I bet I can fix you" arrogance. And, again, knowing from the evidence in front of his eyes, that this is not the case. But it would be nice if it was.

[newkatzkafe2023]

For the March cartoon theme, I'm curious what romantic Disney (or non-Disney) love song would fit each Wukong? Just imagining them stuck in a big animated musical moment with their SO. (Dasheng def strikes me as the guy in Enchanted whos aware he's in a song and is confused)

Yeah you would be right about the confusion 🤣🤣🤣🤣

(Lmk Wukong) After a long time thinking about it this song would fit Wukong so well, it's heartbreaking. Wukong is known for his mischievous antics and endless energy with some bout of irresponsibility, but nobody ever talks much about his darker issues. Nobody ever accepting him, all the mistakes he had made, the friends he lost, and his extreme fear of death going as far as to look for ways to run from it. Nobody bothered to understand him basically ignoring his depression and lost burying it under bravado and recklessness. Which is why you sing this song to him remindeding him that he had and still have people who love and care about him, especially you. You love your husband no matter what and remind him of all the people who have loved him as much as you do, telling about the place where the lost things go.....

(HIB Wukong) Yeah you are so right if Wukong were to ever find himself in a song, he would be extremely perplexed. You have this habit of breaking out into song no matter the situation good and bad, and as annoying as it was he felt somewhat better afterwards. Though depending on the music and contents of your song Wukong would be either embrassed or flustered since alot of your songs are about love. You also loved to burst out singing to the children and the fact that Luier sings along with a giggling silly girl, doesn't help your case at all. Their was even a time were pigsy sings with us but only because he knows it's gonna mess with him. Theirs also instances where you would sing and depending on the region and land every animal inhabitant would show up and help you with whatever you need them for making all kinds of friends along the way. He loves you but sometimes it's too strange.......Is it too late to go back to his crystal prison????😮‍💨

(NR Wukong) You know you and your husband have been so very busy with various projects and errands, you haven't been able to spend time together. Everything became very stressful lately running around, training Li and keeping him from burning down your house and home, helping Su at her job as an intern and making her lunch. Then you secretly keeping an eye on Ao bing because his dad kept f*cking up him mentally, and you being the only one that cared enough to check on him. This was to much running around, to much coming and going, and quite frankly to much pressure. However when all of that is done and theirs currently nothing else going on, that's when you and your hubby go wild. Putting on your best clothes jumping on your motorcycle and driving in the streets of donghai, dancing at the nightclubs, eating junkfood together and drinking on the rooftops. Your husband Wukong and you dancing wildly and well being free demon celestial monkeys, laughing and screaming like you both used too🥳.

(MKR Wukong) HIS TSUNDERE ASS would find himself singing this song, especially when he feels his heartbeating around you and finds himself smiling with you. The final blow is how you kissed his cheeks and how he doesn't exactly know how to feel about you. Wukong would never address it, but he is used to losing things or having it taken away from him. However, when he first met you, it was like his life was getting brighter. You were kind, patient, intelligent, strong and mischievous in your way, but Wukong found all of it to be super adorable but would rather die than admit it. Him fighing his feelings for you and you invading his thoughts and heart all the time and fight tooth and nail to battle these emotions, but it's not like he'll have to say it out loud........that he's in love❤️‍🔥.

(Netflix Wukong) You know in the past many people and demons warned you about Sun Wukong. The great sage equal to heaven was a huge troublemaker and an outcast to even his kind, but you just couldn't resist him looking like a cute little grubby boy who just needs some YLC (Y/n) loving care😉 but not like he'll could ignore you either a pretty monkey girl who looks like she wants snuggle and smooch him. nights like this where he had snuck you out of your house to have endless romantic date nights and listen to music being played during shows and plays in the town. Wukong and you would also share peach snacks and peach drinks together as you both sat in trees under the stars with the other Village couples. Tonight as always was perfect and judging by the way he smothered you in kisses and hugs, he thinks so tooo😍😍😍

(BMW Wukong) pffffff oh my god🤣🤣🤣 this is gold!!!! It would totally be in character for Wukong to sing a song about himself!!!!🤣🤣🤣 Like seriously it happens when he's trying to impress you and brag about his accomplishments. He even has the gall to go and say your welcome like he's doing everyone a favor, and to hold their applause. Wukong would tell all kinds of glamorous stories about himself and his victories about becoming the great sage equal to heaven. You had admit that alot of tnr stuff he did was cool and impressive in a way, but you'd think he's being cocky about it however you do like the way he stuck it to heaven especially that 3 eyed b*st*rd Erlang. He would always bring up new things to impress you with and it's honestly funny really.

(Destined one) You both have been together for years traveling together and making discoveries. To be honest, life was pretty mellow and openly mediocre doing the same thing at home. That was until you met the Destined one and Uncle Bajie and that's when life was splashed with some color. Joining the Destined one's journey you find that you two have somethings in common enjoying the silence, making new discoveries and bonding over battle. When you both fell in love you were shy and nervous around each other but eventually found that you belong together, and are ready to take those first steps🥰

(Lotmk Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhh your first meeting was soooooooooo cute, but it was also feels like you both met before. You were singing in the forest when Wukong surprised you by joining your song you were shy and a bit shocked to see him. However you both blushed lightly as you both sing softly together, as you begin to open up to him and bond together. It was love at first sight and song as you both even danced together lost in your own shared worlds, it was quite romantic and exciting and lovely🥰

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🎵

[stellae-de-baphometis]

Important Announcement: Art/Writing Commissions, Ko-fi Subscription Tiers, Possible Etsy Store Reopening, & More

⚠️ THIS POST IS URGENT AND IMPORTANT. I KNOW IT'S A LONG POST, BUT PLEASE READ TO THE END IF YOU CAN. ⚠️

Hello everyone. So I'm aware that I've barely been active here lately, and while I've wanted to be more active here, I've had a lot of stuff going on.

So if you've been following my Ko-fi page, you probably saw my periodical status updates a while back saying that the book I'm currently writing (Beyond The Goetia) is almost finished. Unfortunately, I found that a bunch of the English translated content I had included was copywritten, so I legally wasn't able to publish it in its finished form. As a result, I have had to rewrite the book and start making my own translations of the original manuscripts, which has been very tedious and is taking an extremely long time to do lol. Nonetheless, I am still making progress on it, and I'm really hoping it will be finished by the end of the year.

With that being said, my partner and I are having a very hard time finding work and are currently struggling financially, so it would really mean a lot if you could help us out in any way possible. My partner's apartment lease ends soon and we don't really have anywhere else to stay long-term, so we need all the extra help we can get. We make barely enough money from our social security pensions to get by, and it's been extremely difficult for us to find employment.

We need to save up our money fast so we can afford to both find and move into another place to stay before the lease is up, but we're practically living from pay check to pay check, so I want to try and earn some extra money through other means so we have a little more financial security; even if it's minuscule, it's better than nothing at all.

I am still looking for work and trying to get a mainstream job, but in the meantime, I'm also going to be opening up art/drawing (both traditional and digital) & writing/literature commissions over on my @vampydemonartz blog; I accept both SFW and NSFW commissions. I will be making an advertisement post for commissions over on my art blog soon.

For those who are interested in books/zines on demonology, spirituality, and all things occult, you can follow and even subscribe to me on my Ko-fi page. I have set up monthly memberships, and each tier gives you different benefits:

Lunar Tier ($2 AUD) - One month early access to zines/books

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Please Note: Galaxy Tier is not available as of right now, since I haven't set up the exclusive store items yet; but I will be sorting it out soon and making it available in the near future.

I'm also thinking about potentially opening back up my Etsy store, where I used to sell daemon sigil candles back in 2023. In addition to selling the candles again, I also want to eventually design and sell my own tarot deck, as well as sell my books/zines and maybe art prints of my drawings there too. I'm still sorting out the Etsy stuff though, so it's not definitive that I'll be opening the store back up; but feel free to follow my store in case I do open it again.

Additionally, my partner streams on Twitch from time to time (I also sometimes make an appearance on their streams too lol) and is working towards becoming a Twitch affiliate so they can eventually monetise their channel. If you could follow them over on Twitch, it would mean the world to both them and myself.

Now, obviously I understand that financial support is a lot to ask for right now, given the current state of the economy and the cost-of-living crisis; so please don't commission or donate if you can't afford to or are not in a financially stable situation yourself to do so. Honestly, reblogging this post and/or sharing it in other ways is more than enough help if you cannot afford to commission or donate.

If you do donate, please don't feel pressured to give more than what you can afford or want to give. Even if it's a small amount, it still goes a long way and helps us out a lot. Either way, I will still be eternally grateful for your support. 🖤

I am working hard to get my book finished and, even though I am publishing the ebook on Ko-fi at a price of pay-what-you-want with the option to download it for free, it would mean a lot if you could purchase it for a few dollars if you are able to do so. Additionally, I will also be self-publishing physical copies (as well as the ebook) through Lulu, so it would mean a lot if you could also purchase it through that avenue. But again, no pressure. Xx

That's pretty much all I wanted to say in this post. Again, please don't feel pressured to donate or commission if you can't afford to or simply don't want to. A reblog and/or share is honestly more than enough help if you can't help out financially. 🖤

Thank you so much for your support. Please know that I am eternally grateful for your help. Xx

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+ . . . Divider Credit . . . +

[daily-rayless]

2000

This is a bit late off the mark, but we're now a quarter of the way through this century. With this in mind, I want to take stock of myself creatively, as a writer and an artist. I want to look at my creative progress for the first twenty-five years of the century, from the years 2000 – 2024. Examine things both as someone who does original work and who's always had a lot of fun in fandom as well.

And because I archive and organize like a demon, I have the material. That is, the art and the writing. Whether I'll be able to properly shape and make sense of my creative evolution as its own narrative is less of a concern.

This is what I've been doing for twenty-five years.

2000

Fandoms I was really into at the time, to the best of my recollection: The Phantom of the Opera, Final Fantasy 4, Final Fantasy 6, Final Fantasy 7, Sarah McLachlan, Sarah Brightman, Loreena McKennitt

Art:

(original characters)

Rosa from Final Fantasy 4, Celes from Final Fantasy 6

Sephiroth, Cloud, and Aerith from Final Fantasy 7

OC, based on a photo of Sarah Brightman

I was a total Final Fantasy fiend, so it's no surprise Yoshitaka Amano and Tetsuya Nomura were both powerful artistic influences. Lots of improbable outfits and long flowing hair. At the tail end of the year, I got really into Sarah Brightman and would do a lot of studies of her (helped along that I based my OC Claire's appearance after her). I was ridiculously pleased with that last one and tucked a copy of it into the front of my school binder to display proudly.

Writing:

While I'd done some fanficcing before, I was mostly focused on original writing at this point. And I had that ideal combination that makes for very fast writing:

Many ideas

Low standards

Lots of unstructured time

Armed thus, I wrote a fantasy trilogy in 2000. Each entry at least partially reflected the vibes of whatever JRPG I was playing because I was extremely suggestible and didn't have much experience to draw on. The trilogy was called Crystalia. The novel I'm excerpting from is the second one, Life Uncommon (named after the Jewel song, yes), which was very much influenced by Suikoden and Suikoden 2, about a small rebel army trying to take down a powerful magical warlord called the Magister.

This scene occurs late in the book, and it features one of the main characters, Tarla Dragongaze, a mysterious woman who was once a dragon. While she's aware of this, she only has faint, confused memories of that past life. Tarla has come to this lonely mountain in the hopes of summoning her dragon brethren to aid the rebel army in battle. You may notice a similarity to Susan Fletcher's Flight of the Dragon Kyn.

Excerpt:

Tarla moved away from the other four and walked to the very top of Jagged Peak. She kept a good distance from the edge because she wasn't sure what to expect.

Tarla let her cloak fly out behind her. She wasn't sure what she should do. She reached inside of herself, looking for some draconine instinct. She recalled words that had been spoken to her before. She had no idea how long ago. Call to me and we shall come.

Call? She was supposed to call out a name? Whose? She racked her brain, trying to recall one of those names that she recognized but didn't understand; names from her former life. One name leapt out at her: Valpas. It was reassuring and wise, yet unmistakably hot as well. Feeling slightly foolish, she called out, “Valpas!”

The snow swirled round her but nothing else happened.

Tarla sighed. She'd realized her mistake already. That feeling of embarrassment. A creature as proud as she wanted would never come if she asked like that. She took another deep breath and this time, shouting above the wind and snow, cried out, “Valpas! Come to me!”

The first thing that happened was a silence. The snow still fell and they could still feel the wind around them, but the roaring and rushing had ceased. Even the lumi were silent.

After a few moments, the roaring and rushing began again, but now ten times louder and more violent.

The snowfall decreased. The setting sun had changed the sky to a fiery red. Suddenly – emerging right out of the air – appeared a dragon only fifty feet away. Then another. Then another. They beat their leathery wings; they breathed fire; jewels glistened between their fiery eyes. Fifteen dragons appeared and, as they did, swooped and dived until they formed a semicircle in front of the cliff that Tarla stood on.

They were huge – sixty feet from nose to tail – and with brilliant coloring: gold, red, purple, gold, gray, bronze, rose, black, and various color combinations. One of them flew forward. It was a bronze-colored drakaina with a ruby in her forehead and deep red eyes. (Who has summoned me?)

Tarla didn't hear the question, she felt it, like hot water running through her veins. Dragons speak an even older language that what the other Goecians speak. Theirs is based more on feeling and the senses rather than words. Tarla closed her eyes, drew a deep breath, and replied, (I did. You are Valpas.) It wasn't a question.

Valpas surveyed Tarla, the doubt evident in her ruby-red eyes. Though none of the other four – not even Luce – could feel the conversation, they knew it had reached a critical point: Would Valpas listen or burn them all to a crisp?

(Who are you?) asked Valpas. (What are you? You're not a human...)

(I was once a dragon,) Tarla replied. (But I had to shift into human form to survive.)

(What was your name?) asked Valpas untrustingly. (How did you know to call my name?)

(I... I don't remember,) Tarla admitted.

(Open your eyes. Let me see if I recognize them.)

(If you do, will you listen?)

(It depends on whom they belong to.)

Though frightened, Tarla knew better than to disobey. She opened her eyes.

Valpas was a menacing creature. A huge dorsal ridge and horns four feet long. Her teeth glittered like silver.

But suddenly her face softened and her “speech” softened as well. (Kirkas...)

Tarla sighed deeply, as if hearing her name again had lifted much of her doubt. From that name, memories came flooding back. (Mother...)

(What has happened to you?) Valpas' speech was once again harsh, fiery, as though she might roast the first person to slight her daughter.

(I almost died...) Tarla answered. (This was the only way.) She indicated her human body.

(How could you almost die? They are only humans... One sweep of your tail could easily kill ten.)

(It didn't happen that way. I offered myself.)

(What?!) Fire shot from Valpas' mouth. Tarla felt a searing pain in her forehead. Realizing that she had caused her daughter's human body pain, Valpas softened her tone again. (Why?)

Tarla couldn't answer. (I'm not sure...)

Valpas looked at her for a few moments, then asked, (Why did you summon your kin?)

(I need your help,) Tarla replied. (Lacorrhin and my friends are in danger. A great battle is to be fought and I must win, for I shall be leading part of it. But we're not strong enough. I need your help.) Tarla paused; here was the tricky part.

(What do you want me to do?) asked Valpas warily.

(I want you to fight with us.)

(With humans?)

(Yes. I love them, Mother.)

(Kirkas!) Valpas looked away. She seemed to be thinking. (Will the humans fight? Even if the dragons don't help?)

(Yes.)

(Will they win? Or will the ones you love die?)

(They will die. We're too weak without you.)

Valpas considered this, then – (How many will you need?)

(How many will come?)

Valpas smiled, revealing teeth like knives. (How many do you need?) she repeated.

[nomoreusername]

Impulsive Greenie

Pairing:Thomas x gender neutral reader

Summary:Despite the lecture you give Greenie you can't help but find yourself attached to him.

He was so ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. He gets told the exact same thing by everyone. Do not go into the dangerous Maze full of things that could kill you, and what does he do? He goes into the dangerous Maze full of things that could kill him.

Am I surprised? Not exactly.

Am I disappointed that I thought he was capable of following directions?

Yes. Yes I am.

Now he was in the pit late at night, and I was glaring at him while holding bread.

“Before you say anything, it all worked out. Right? Alby’s alive, Minho’s alive, I’m alive, and there's one less Griever. Aren't those all really good things?”He reasoned.

“Yes they are,”I agreed.

“So-”

“But you know what isn't a good thing?”I interrupted, crossing my arms as I kept my stern look.

“Y/N-”

“The fact that after everything kept saying Thomas no, you heard Thomas yes. We have three rules here, and you managed to break the most important one in less than a week.”

“I mean that's kind of impressive. It's like a world record.”

“Yeah. World record for most impulsive Greenie. What? You think you have plot armor?”

“No. I just didn't want them to die,”He repeated.

“Yes, yes. That's nice and all, but you literally could have been crushed by the wall. You could have died before even going inside. You could have been killed by a Griever. You could have been stung. The list of why that was a dumb idea goes on and on.”

“Nobody got hurt though so is it really that bad?”

“It's extremely bad. You're lucky you're sitting there being scolded by me instead of inside a Griever's stomach.”

“This does not feel lucky,”He mumbled.

“What was that?”I asked, giving him a chance to correct himself.

“I said I’m extremely lucky,”He lied, though we both knew the truth. It's just that you have to pick your battles, and that one was not worth it.

“From now on, you follow the rules,”I said firmly.

“I know I didn't, but let's look at the other bright side. I’m a Runner now. Newt said so.”

“I don't care if Newt made you president of the damn world. You keep your head low from now on. A few people are starting to get suspicious of you-”

“Gally.”

“Yes. Definitely Gally, but he isn't the only one. You just have to be more aware of what's going on. Nobody here is worth fighting. Out there, in the Maze, that's the only place you want to be doing so,”I explained, sitting on the grass to be just a little closer to him. Party because I wanted to and partly because I wanted him to see how sincere about this I actually was.

“Okay. I’ll follow the rules from now on. When I can,”He half accepted. While it wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, it was better than nothing.

“That's clearly the most I’m going to get so okay. Also, good luck on your first day tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll do great,”I promised, giving a small smile.

“So you aren't going to be mad when I go in the Maze tomorrow then?”He asked slowly.

“No. Now that you're a Runner, that would be stupid,”I admitted.

“See? So aren't you glad I ran in?”

“Don't push it,”I said firmly, leaning a little close and gesturing for him to hold his hand out. When he did without question I gave him the bread through the bars. With our fingertips touching for a moment, I was sure Greenie had just sent goosebumps up my arm as we stayed still.

Then, as quickly as they came, they were for as we pulled away.

“I thought I'm not supposed to have food?”He said in a teasing voice as he ate some of it.

“Yeah, well, whatever. I don't have to explain myself to you,”I pointed out.

“Is it because you secretly really like me?”

“Goodnight Greenie,”I sighed, standing up.

“Wait, Y/N,”He called before I could leave.

“What do you want? It's time to-”

“I secretly really like you too,”He admitted, looking me in the eyes as he did. Despite the complete darkness, I knew. Not because I could see, but because I could feel his gaze.

“Goodnight Thomas. Sleep well, and good luck again,”I nodded, turning around to go to my hammock.

And so he wouldn't make out the grin growing on my face.

[madcatlad]

I just came to a angst realization....

(Thank you to @shirazens for allowing me to use their comment)

I literally just came to this conclusion in a comment threat under my "Aaron Needs Friends" post with @shirazens .

In summary Aarmau comes off as unnatural

I think the main issue is how rushed and force the relationship was in the series, and the fact that it change key elements in the story to make a place for itself.

The Aarmau agenda also had to down other characters to build itself up, which sucks. A lot of character assassination stem from Aarmau. Including the way Aphmau interacts with her support. But I'd like to focus on how unnatural (and frankly problematic) this relationship comes across if you actually pay attention to how they interact with eachother.

And their relationship is certainly off.

@shirazens

THIS is why I've always disliked his character, he felt so disconnected.

also he continues to constantly mourn his past wife WHILE getting closer to aphmau which feels like to me he was just using her if that makes sense?

Their relationahip has always come across as strange.

In my former post I address a portion of this problem with Aaron not having any relationships outside of Aphmau. It is odd.

Aaron- despite being so closed off and mysterious and (quite rude in some instances), CONTINUED to follow her group around for months...but NEVER take an interest in ANYONE??? Except Aph. That is mad weird. If you like her so much to risk your life for her consistently why avoid her Support System so adamantly???

It makes the relationship seem very strange. Almost like Aaron is isolating Aphmau from her friends when building their relationship. They only really talked about his trauma or her stress-

Aaron and Aphmau are TRAUMA BONDING...

It hit me like a train! It isn't romance, it isn't a love story. It is codependency!

Aph ONLY goes to Aaron when she is stressed about her responsibilities. "Because he understands". And in turn Aaron's only personality trait is trauma- and he only really opens up to (or talks at all) to Aphmau. Think about it, this man is FOLLOWING her- for seemingly NO REASON by time the Post-Irene-Dimension arc roles around! "Having nothing" isn't really a logical reason anymore. He had NO motive to be present. He's made no connections, no character growth, no earthly ties, so WHY are you following the 🎆"magical friendship woman"🎆 if you don't want to make friends???

And I think this is great writing potential. This makes sense for the storyline in season two, as Aph was extremely overwhelmed, and the steaks had just risen from village quarrels to Armageddon. And I definitely can see where @shirazens was going with the how Aaron saw Aphmau, as a stand in or familiarity to his wife, or that he was using Aphmau to get a semblance of his late wife, Lily.

Personally I'm not amongst the re-write clan of aph-fans, (I prefer to progess with the shit show we were given). But this is a juicy narrative to explore for both, especially if you don't want to throw out Aarmau all together.

If you want to get angsty, you could argue that Aaron being so distant to Aph's support group was to isolate her from them. Again, this fits, and I am well aware Jesson did not intend this BUT Aphmau DID become a lot more distant to her companions for Aaron's sake. She became dismissive of their concerns, argued with their suspicions, and lowkey berated them because "she trusted him" and expected everyone to follow suit (fr a lot of them were so real for that, homie was acting up- ahem- Laurence- ahem- Katelyn). She put Aaron on a pedestal out of nowhere, and vouched for him undeservingly. You could argue that this was a result of isolating her, you could argue that this was just Aph blindness to Aaron's faults.

And this also really REALLY fits well with the Irene VS Shad motif and how that entire mess went down between them. I can totally see those two being codepent with one another as well with their similar struggles and pain. I can see them relying on one another too heavily. I can see that leading to suck strong feelings of betrayal. Especially if Shad was as isolated as Aaron. In fact I'd say Irene and Shad damn near prove this idea.

Fun right?

[alivingolive]

First of all, whose idea was it for Billy Joel to be born so long before me? Now I’m stuck in a timeline where I’m frantically hoping he doesn’t call it quits before I can see him live (IT SUCKS 😣)

I’ll admit, there’s a certain charm in being late to the party—like finding a book everyone’s read and realizing it’s every bit as good as they said. That’s how his music feels to me: timeless. 

So.. this leaves me with no choice but to dive headfirst into a very enthusiastic (and probably incoherent) rant about his music.

This is probably just me and my low-level understanding of music (i'm self-aware, okay?), but I’ve never experienced anything like his discography before.

Usually, I’ll find one or two songs I love, a few I like, and the rest are... there. But with his works? Well, I’m not saying every single track is a masterpiece (calm down, super fans), but liking almost 90% of someone’s work? That’s unheard of for me.

Maybe I just don’t “get” other artists, or maybe I’m just clueless about music. Either way, he’s different. I’m over here liking entire albums. Who does that? Is this what having standards feels like? 

Now, after hours of unnecessary self-inflicted stress (and questioning whether I even understand what “favorites” mean), I’ve landed on a top three.

Is this ranking stable? Absolutely not. But for now, these are the songs I’m obsessively replaying while pretending this choice isn’t tearing my soul apart. Let’s unpack them while I still believe in my own decisions. (spoiler: i don’t)

Got to Begin Again is the first. This song doesn’t just ask you to feel; it demands it. And I’m not usually the type to be all lyric-driven, but this one? It kind of broke me.

The whole thing feels like it’s saying, “Look, life sucks, but it’s cool. You’re fine... Probably.” (notice the optimism dripping off that word) And the melody? It’s like the universe is both yelling at you and patting you on the back at the same time.

I don’t know how he managed to create the musical equivalent of a therapist with zero solutions but a really good playlist, but here we are.

And Going to Extremes? Don’t even get me started.

“And if I stand or I fall, it’s all or nothing at all.”

That line is so ridiculously good it makes me want to get up and do something dramatic—like, quit my job, burn a bridge or two, and then confidently walk into… I don’t know, the nearest cafe? Because I didn’t plan that far ahead.

For exactly four minutes and twenty-three seconds though, I’m convinced I’ve got life all figured out.

Then there’s 52nd Street. I’m not even going to try and pretend I understand what’s happening in the music (do me a favor and listen to the 1:02-1:19 part)

I don’t know why it works, I don’t know how it works, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel—but wow, does it work.

It’s so perfect it makes my brain short-circuit. It’s the musical equivalent of staring at a masterpiece in an art gallery and thinking, “I don’t get it, but I love it.”

And... it’s frustrating because I know just enough about music to know that I know nothing (cue existential dread) Like, how does someone even create something like this? It’s so good it feels unfair.

But here’s the thing: I’ve always loved music—it’s been a big part of my life—but now it feels different. For the first time, I feel like I want to do something with that love for music.

Like, he’s set some kind of invisible bar that I have no business trying to meet, and yet, here I am. It’s not about connecting with people or becoming the next big thing, though. Honestly, I don’t care if no one ever hears it (definitely a lie)

But.. I want to take all the messy, confusing, slightly chaotic parts of me and turn them into something that makes sense—something that sounds like me (no clue how to do that)

So yeah, he’s officially turned my interest in music into an existential crisis. I’m supposed to be figuring out how to do something with this inspiration, but instead, I’m writing yet another long-winded Tumblr post about him while procrastinating on literally everything else in my life.

[copperbadge]

Having an entertaining, low-key Shivadh Saturday around here today. One of the subplots of Royals/Ramblers involves some light underwater archaeology, but Monday doesn't want to dive while she's pregnant, so Michaelis volunteers to let her train and direct him, diving in her place. He's just come up from his last practice dive in the harbor, and it's time to break for lunch...

"The gossip about these lessons is very funny," he added, nodding subtly at a man with his phone out, clearly trying not to seem like he was taking their picture. "Your brother sends me regular reports of my fame, you know. Lately it's half wild speculation about why you and I are spending so much time together and half amusement that I've decided to take up extreme sports late in life."

"Nothing salacious, is there?"

"Well, salacious, yes. Malicious, I don't think so," he said. "Nobody takes that kind of thing seriously, or if they do, the palace finds a way to deal with them. I've found that, once you cross fifty, you are assumed to be in a mid-life crisis until you die, so someone's always imagining that I've lost my senses. Currently, the question is whether the mid-life crisis is the scuba diving or the imagined affair."

"What a soap opera that would be," Monday said. "In this scenario are you also secretly the father of my child?"

"Naturally. The whole surrogacy is just a ruse to cover it up." 

"Scandalous. I guess it speaks to your character that a lot of people think your idea of a mid-life crisis is diving, though," she said. 

"Well, most of them have met me," he said. "Aside from driving too fast and always thinking I know best, my sins are few and mild. And I would put up with a great deal more aspersions on my character," he added, "for both the pleasure of your company here and the eventual grandchild. Although if it bothers you, you should tell Theophile, he'll put Comms on it."

"Nah. I never really hear much about it," she said, as they reached land. There was a little bank of outdoor storage chests, mainly for the few boaters who used the pier; he began packing the equipment into one of them, slipping some sandals on while she continued. "And I'm used to it from my surf days. Not exactly this, obviously, but when you reach a certain level in any sport, as a woman, people start to insinuate things."

"Unconscionable," Michaelis said, locking the trunk closed. "Unfortunately also a reality of life -- every few years, when the news cycle was slow, there'd be some ass who'd dig out a photograph of me with a random woman at a party and claim I was running around on my wife. It used to bother Gregory. Miranda found it uproariously funny." 

"What about you?" she asked, and he was quiet for a moment as they continued walking.

"It never really registered, I think. Some things did, some things I took very personally, but that always felt so childish. I couldn't take it seriously. May we all be so blessed, eh? Given the lives we lead." 

"Before you guys came to visit, our dad said to me that Ed doesn't look super far forward into the future," Monday said. "Dad wasn't sure Ed understood how huge a commitment he was making. Not like a two-year Eat Network contract, was how he put it. Ramblers do tend to live in the moment, but when he said that I thought, well, that won't be me. I might not have a life plan or anything but I know the proportions of the promises I make. Now...maybe I should have taken a long look at myself, too."

They'd reached the curve of footpath that would lead them around the Maritime Academy's building, to the little grassy area with tables and benches; he paused, glancing out at the harbor and then back at her. 

"You know, you're well liked here," he said. "Not just by us, the family I mean, but by the town. It seems like you've made friends, too. I don't know that it needs to be said, but in case you weren't aware, you'd be welcome if you wanted to stay. You'd have a place here. Not as the..." he gestured dismissively, "queen mother, or royal surrogate, or whatnot, but purely as Theophile's sister. If you wanted. No pressure," he added with a smile. 

"I knew, but it's nice to hear," she agreed, leading him down to the tables, setting the bag on one of them. "It's not...in the plan for me, I think, but if I did want to stay, I'll keep it in mind."

"Do. And now, let's see what Simon has sent us for lunch -- ah, excellent," he said, fishing a pair of plastic containers out of the bag. "Cold curried chicken or roast beef sandwich?" 

"Split 'em?" Monday suggested.

"Won't help the rumors," he said, smiling, but he took half the sandwich when she offered, scooping half the chicken into her container with a suspiciously sporklike object from the bag. 

A picture of them having lunch together did make the gossip blogs the next day. Monday, lying in bed next to a still-sleeping Georgie, took a screenshot of the photo and clickbaity headline and sent it to him without comment. 

His response came back a few minutes later. Our union can never be. A fish and a bird might fall in love, but where would they build a home?

[linkspooky]

Hi there!! I really enjoyed reading about how you approach writing and characterising characters like Nanako, Mimiko, Nobara or Gojo so I’ve been wondering how do you go about writing someone as angsty and downright violent yet soft and childish at times like Megumi? Boy really had a cursed life for someone named blessing… so I feel there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to his character. Do you have any headcanons for him or do you mostly base his characterisation on what we’ve been shown in the manga? And how difficult or maybe easy you find writing him?

Megumi's actually the most complicated and well-written character in the manga (this is the part where @theanimepsychologist appears to high five me) so it's understandable you might have trouble writing him.

You don't really need to fanonize Megumi, because everything you need about him is already there in the manga. He's a jungian character who literally uses his shadow as his weapon to attack people, so the story delves incredibly deep into his inner world probably moreso than Yuji the main character.

To begin with though, this is my favorite way to describe Megumi:

Fushiguro had intended to just pay and leave but with his serious personality, his idea of leaving was dismissed by Itadori’s reasoning. However, his eyes that were as deep as the night that peeped out from the bottom of a deep ditch became even more lifeless. Fushiguro tried once more to switch off his self-awareness. Numbness was the safety feature of life. If he did not think of a way to protect his spirit, it would not be strange if a curse was born.

"Numbness was the safety feature of life", every behavior Megumi exhibits is an attempt to suppress his emotions, to numb himself down and feel nothing.

This is what makes him a Jungian character. His primary personality trait isn't being grumpy, or serious, or anti-social, it's being avoidant. Which is why it's funny people often compare him to the other black haired rival characters in shonen jump, because he's nothing like Sasuke.

If you wanted a character to base your Megumi characterization on, the closest comparison is Killua. The abused child who ran away from a family of assassins, who thinks absolutely nothing of himself while describing his best friend in the gayest way possible as pure light. Killua's primary character trait is also avoidance. He doesn't really want to be a better person at the start of the story, he has no problems with killing people, he just wants to RUN AWAY. Which is also why he takes the one sibling he likes from the abusive household and kind of just leaves the rest of them behind like it's none of his business.

Megumi's primary character trait isn't anger, or violence, even if he's both of those things it's avoidance. He wants to avoid both the people in his life and his problems whenever possible until it's too late. He doesn't want to analyze himself or his own actions, which is why I made the banner image of this post Megumi straight up saying "I don't care if I'm right or wrong." This is how you get the contradiction that is Megumi, someone who self-righteously lectures Yuji in the first few chapters that he doesn't care if a prisoner died because they hit someone with their car by accident, then one hundred chapters later in the culling games blatantly says "I'll totally kill people to score points."

Megumi's simultaneously extremely strict and lawful, but also does not think those laws apply to himself because he doesn't want to think about himself. He has no image of himself. This is where you get to the childish aspects of his character. His second biggest character trait is that he's basically an eternal child. He can't handle any of his emotions in a mature way like an adult would so he just doesn't. The reason he hides all of his emotions in the dark and ignores them is because he doesn't have the tools to deal with them. His own feelings are the leaky roof that he can't afford to fix so he just has to pretend it's not there.

Megumi also isn't really trying to grow up or grow past his mistakes, because he is stuck in survival mode. Megumi's a child because he has no proper adult role models in his life. Yes, this is including Gojo. If you want a real life metaphor for the way Megumi behaves, he's like a foster kid passed from house to house until he's eighteen who never connected with any of his parents and was probably treated as a renter by them instead. Megumi himself in story is kind of treated like he's more mature than others too, just because he has a more serious personality, and has been forced to carry a lot of responsibility at a young age (by Gojo).

Which finally, you have to look at the two adults in Megumi's life who are responsible for a lot of his behaviors. Toji is someone who abandoned Megumi, and not only that he took the money he gained from his jobs, and selling Megumi and practically gambled it away and blew it on stupid shit. He failed in his responsibilities to Megumi every step of the way. Yet, there's a strong resemblance between father and son. Toji is the way he is because he was abandoned by his family his entire life and cast out, and wound up doing the same to Megumi. Toji also, seemed to use Megumi's mother as the only good thing / the only good influence on him and when she died he practically gave up. It's the same for Megumi, he basically used Tsukimi the same way as the person who inspired him to be good. Without Tsumiki, look at the despair that Megumi falls into and how he stops fighting Sukuna entirely.

Then you have Gojo, who let's just ignore the child soldier aspect of the way Gojo treats Megumi for now. I think the worst influence Gojo has on Megumi, is he expects Megumi to be exactly like him. Gojo and Megumi were both born with their clan's strongest technique, they're both natural geniuses who learn whatever they try to learn quickly. My friend Psycho had this to say about it.

Isn't it ironic how Gojo is the one telling Megumi he doesn't know how to bring out his best? Megumi is your class "I'm so naturally talented everything comes easy to me, but I don't know that I don't know this, so I don't try or strive hard for anything."

Gojo and Megumi are similiar in a lot of ways, but if Toji represents Megumi's violent side and the worst of his trauma, then Gojo is Megumi's avoidance. Gojo is also someone who doesn't want to form connections with people, who is stuck isolated in his own little world and never really changes or adapts to circumstances because he's always been perfect at what he does.

Gojo tried to raise Megumi into another Gojo, but failed because Megumi is different in ways that Gojo doesn't understand. Megumi doesn't really want to strive to be the best sorcerer in the way Gojo does, because Megumi was forced into it by circumstances. Gojo was like, Megumi if you don't come with me and do sorcery jobs for the school then your sister will be abused by the Zen'in. THis is totally a choice I'm giving you. Gojo doesn't understand why Megumi would have so many mental hurdles that would prevent him from reaching his full potential. And I think the biggest reason for this is because Gojo basically treated Megumi as a miniature adult from the day they met onwards, instead of treating him like a child. Gojo didn't have to raise Megumi, but the bare minimum he could have done is realized that Megumi is a child and not an adult and can't handle the responsibilities or an adult and doesn't have the emotions or maturity of an adult.

Gojo doesn't realize that however. He expects Megumi to deal with the crushing responsibility of being an adult, because that's how Gojo was raised and look at Gojo he's doing just fine he's the strongest.

So, like to cap this all off Megumi is a character with a pretty deep internal world made up of all the emotions he's repressing.

I'd say to other people he comes off as quiet and unpleasant. He also keeps interaction with others down to as minimum as possible. If he's interacting with strangers, he tends to be respectful, because he's projecting the personality of someone more mature than he really is. He's also the one who by default tries to act responsible and make the plans for other people even if he's the youngest one in the group. All of these things are because Megumi 1) feels a crushing responsibility to be the adult in these situations, and 2) also wants to avoid that responsibility hence his quiet and antisocial behavior as a default.

Megumi is also a male tsundere, which is how he deals with even the people who's closest to him. A lot of his dialogue in regards to Yuji is just some version of "Shut up, Baka" whereas with Nobara he tends to just kind of ignore her when she's being annoying and let her tire herself out.

Megumi also has incredibly low self esteem so when you're writing his internal dialogue, you should have him basically describe people like Yuji in the gayest terms possible much like Killua, while at the same time insulting and belittling himself. He props other people up to make himself look smaller in comparison.

Megumi's also in general pretty self-loathing. That's another reason why he represses himself so much, because he just sort of hates himself. He thinks he's a shitty brat who can't do anything right. When Megumi tends to pull more morally ambiguous things like advocating for murder, or getting too violent in a fight, he tends to justify it as "I'm not a good person like Tsumiki and Yuji so it's okay if I get my hands dirty". Which isn't a good excuse but it's very sad that a sixteen year old boy is unable to see the good in himself and is constantly comparing himself to others and finding them to be better.

Finally, Megumi's kind of like a parentalized child, at least in the fact he's been treated as a mini-adult by the biggest adult caretaker in his life and is expected to function like one. Therefore, Megumi has an image of himself that he's more mature than the people around him and knows better when he doesn't. He also doesn't really seem to grasp when he's being childish or angry or immature because he doesn't see himself that way, he's the adult, he'a always forced to be the adult.

Okay, I hope that helped you even a little bit Megumi is a pretty complex character to grasp, if you want even more inspiration then just read Hunter x Hunter.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

BL Wrapped 2023

A little bit late, but I wanted to make sure to do this for my own records! I've watched so many shows now, it helps to have something down more formally to remember stuff.

A few notes:

This includes shows that started in 2022 and finished in 2023.

No shows that are currently still airing - how the ending lands is too critical for me.

There's some shows I know I'm going to love that I just haven't had time to see yet, so if there are any shocking absences, that's probably why.

Total # of QL watched: 37 (35 BLs, 2 GLs) (really looking forward to more GL offerings next year)

Favorite Thai shows:

Bed Friends

I was not the biggest fan of Cutie Pie, so entered this one with a fair amount of skepticism. But what a lovely surprise. Uea was such an incredible lead and so well-characterized, his trauma was handled seriously, and though there were occasional hiccups due to drama, overall King was such a respectful and supportive partner. And let's not forget the cat ears.

Laws of Attraction

What a ride this show was! I had not watched To Sir with Love, so had no familiarity with Jam or Film, but they were amazing here. The side couple of disaster muffin + loving bodyguard were pitch perfect, there were fantastic women characters who actually had significant roles in the story, and who can forget our wonderful chaotic Nawin? The story was compelling, the emotional points hit, and even when it leaned towards the ridiculous, it always remained aware of what it was.

My School President

I still remember watching the trailer for Our Skyy 2 and noticing two random dudes I had never seen before. Little did I know!

I don't have much to say except that this was pure charm from start to finish, and Fourth & Gemini were a delight. Pure comfort watch.

Unforgotten Night

I SAID WHAT I SAID! (and yes this aired in 2022, I was late)

Look, I know a lot of people thought of this purely as a trash watch, but it's so much more than that. I wrote a whole post on it. It was fantastic. I apologize for nothing.

Favorite Korean shows:

Our Dating Sim

I adored this show from start to finish. I could understand the motivations of both characters, I was deeply invested in their relationship, and they felt so utterly natural once they got together. 10/10, no notes.

Jun & Jun

This was a little messy at times, and missed an opportunity to lean more into D/s dynamics, but I really liked all the characters, the leads had great chemistry, and it was refreshing to see a Korean BL be more open about sexual desire in a relationship.

Favorite Japanese Shows:

The End of the World With You

This one could have easily gone off the rails. End of the world stories can be very tricky to pull off. But there was such a solid emotional core to the storytelling, and it kept such a hold of my heart.

My Personal Weatherman

One thing I think Japan does extremely well is stories about people who have extremely deep internal lives, but don't show much on the surface. As someone quite introverted, who keeps a lot of things on the inside, I relate a lot to this. This show did such a good job of showing how challenging it can be to communicate with those we love, and the rewards once you are able to break through and really understand each other.

Favorite Taiwanese Shows:

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Of course it's Kiseki. This series was amazing. I don't care we never really understood any of the mafia stuff, that was all set dressing for some of the best couple work ever.

Honorable Mention:

Midnight Museum

I will never stop calling this a BL. Some day GMMTV will realize that Gun has too much chemistry with other people to keep him only with Off. Also, we got Nanon playing evil, which was so sexy.

[bil-daddy]

Salutations Mr Bildad, Bildad the Shuhite, Bildaddy sir.

I'm so so sorry to bother you, or be a nuisance, but everything is getting on top of me lately and you give excellent advice.

Basically, the last 12-18 months have been awful - I'm acutely aware that in terms of what's happening in the world I'm pretty blessed 🙏🏻 However within around 12 months experiencing; a miscarriage, 4 bereavements, one parent being rushed into hospital, the other needing surgery (both are doing Ok now thank God 🙏🏻), two surgeries of my own within six months - neither of which have improved what they should have, chronic pain, multiple diagnoses - most of which were unexpected & should have been diagnosed a looonnnnggg time ago, reactions to any& all medications, finding out physio will be necessary for the rest of my life, a very upsetting break up, discovering people who were supposed to be friends can't be trusted...... Let's not forget financial issues due to being unable to work as result of illness etc .... I am losing hope that things are ever going to get better 😔

I'm so so sorry for offloading all this on you but work said they could no longer offer counselling which is infuriating because the counsellor was amazing! Sadly she isn't taking on any private patients for several months so we had to discontinue sessions for the foreseeable 😔

I'm so sorry but I don't really have any other people to talk to right now, my fiancé was my best friend so in a sense it's almost a double loss? Sorry this is pretty pathetic 😪

Yikes. And here I thought @blameless-job had it bad.

So, first off, let me tell you how sorry I am for all your losses. Any of which on their own are extremely painful, but all at the same time? Nobody should have to weather a storm like that. I am so proud of you, just for being here. You're incredibly strong for what you're surviving, even though you shouldn't even have to survive it in the first place.

So don't apologize cause there's nothing pathetic about reaching out for help when you're going through something--or multiple somethings, in your case. In fact, it's exactly the thing you need to do. A lot has been dumped onto your plate, so it makes sense you need to offload it.

I know your former counsellor isn't able to help you at the moment, but maybe they can refer you to someone else, because you deserve a professional (in psychology, not shoemaking and obstetrics) to help you through these tragedies. They might be able to get you a referral.

(If you want to try to find a counsellor on your own, there's NHS Therapy Services in the UK, and SAMHSA National Helpline in the US.)

In the meantime, though, I'll do my best.

If you're worried that things are never going to get better, you shouldn't be. I mean I understand why you are, but the fact is, as dark as this is to say, you might actually be at your lowest point right now. Which means, as awful as things are right now, things can only go up from here.

You got some new diagnoses, which suck to have, especially when they should have been caught earlier, but now that you have a diagnosis, you can start getting treated.

You're six months out from two surgeries and haven't gotten better, but in six more months, or even six weeks, you might start to see some improvement. Plus, once you start the phsyio therapy you now know you need, you can troubleshoot with the physical therapist on how to make more improvements on the issues you had surgery for, as well as the chronic pain. The physical therapist might also be able to refer you to a counsellor as well, if your previous counsellor isn't able to give you one.

But that's just the physical stuff.

It's the emotional stuff that hurts more. Losing loved ones, be it to death, breakup, or just realizing your friends aren't really friends. That kind of pain is even more difficult to deal with.

For the bereavements, it might be helpful remember the good times you shared with these people and the things you loved most about them. They may be gone now, but those memories aren't and they're even more valuable now that they are the parts of your loved ones that are still with you.

And when you're living your life, and you see or hear something that reminds you of them, like a favourite song, or the kind of car they used to drive, that's another way they're still with you.

You might cry the first few, or few hundred times you remember them, but after awhile you'll start smiling more and crying less when you think about them.

For the miscarriage, it's a bit tougher, since you're grieving what could have been, rather than what was. But it's still a loss as valid as any other loss of a loved one, so you have every right to grieve it as such. You have my deepest sympathy for the loss of your child. And the miscarriage is why your fiancé and you are no longer together, you have my deepest sympathy for that, too.

It would be easy for me to say "the trash took itself out" when it comes to ex-fiancés and fake friends, but much harder for you to actually feel that way.

You have the right to grieve the friendships and your relationship ending. To miss them even though they hurt you. To feel hurt, and betrayed, and angry, and still love them anyway, even if you can't be around them anymore. It's okay to hate them, too, if you need to. Not forever. But in the short term, it can be cathartic and exactly what you need.

It'll take time for all these overwhelming and conflicting feelings to fade, and it's possible they'll never completely be gone. But you will learn to live alongside them until you forget they're even there.

You will feel better, I promise you. Een if the light at the end of the tunnel looks like a distant star right now, you'll reach it.

So have an ox rib (platonic) for the journey

Hope this helps, even just a little. Mutuals, feel free to send good vibes @ashbunny2027's way

[llycaons]

reread ch 55 -56 : THEMES! OF! SEXUAL! REPRESSION! AND! SHAME! *clapping and cheering*

there's nothing in the next scene I want to particularly highlight but he's definitely become more open to and aware of his feelings of sexual desire since imuri moved in and that's on purpose on her end

OH BOY!!!!!!! this scene apparently got some pushback for being 'weird' but I support it as a writing choice! it's a bold move with thematic and character weight that pays off!

the glowing coming from it...😭

Fukayama does 'miserable shame' SO well. buddy :(

trying to read the bible...I wonder what those other books are and how many copies of the bible he has

last imaginings were various and non-specific but his next imaginings are ALL boob shots....okay no I won't make fun of him

there's real desperation here...the other part of dante's advice coming in handy

they're looking at him so he puts them all outside lmao...

I like how this scene progresses. it's extremely clear what's going on without any dialogue or internal monologue at all needed to convey priest's mental state or decision making process. the still is great too - an actual flashback would disrupt the silent, oppressive atmosphere

if this was ever animated I'm sure it would be endlessly giffed by both the most tasteless and creepiest people but anyway I think it should be totally silent except for the rain and his vocalizations

he's shaking so bad...aw buddy it's okay :(

it's a really great part of the series that he's horny. like I legitimately love that so much. it's normal! lots of people get horny! he's not a holy soldier made of stone, he's a regular teenage boy. and he gets horny

wow he really imagines a variety of situations like immediately. this is another point where the style really bothers me tho bc I feel like I'm looking at shitty cartoon porn 😭 everything is so exaggerated and almost infantile. and why do her boobs look so massive...

sees the aftermath of an expression of his own sexual desire involving nobody else and immediately throws up...this manga is so good

A LITTLE SELF-HATRED AND SHAME IS A BUMPON THE ROAD!!!!!!! HE'S STILL ON HIS JOURNEY!!!!! the dimensions that priest being transfem would add to this tho...like his intense religious repression and trauma and shame around existing as a sexual being would be even better...

actually tho I don't think this was a step forward after all. he just became more withdrawn and unhappy after this...

can't believe all she had to do was convince him to jack off...no I do not think this is a total victory for lust but priest becoming more and more close to his humanity HAS been weakening him so...maybe. and it actually is also distancing him from imuri because he feels so much shame about it and terror of hurting others and horror at his own desires...but that's not even from lust, that's from the church. I mean, partially. lust made it worse but they truly do pass horrors back and forth between them...

I wonder if it's like that for the other exorcists. I kind of doubt it bc the exorcists verge have been killing were corrupt for 'pimping'....and nicholas complains about dante being a 'womanizer' but never says it'll impact HIS power, only that the boy must never pick up his habits. I think regular exorcists have a lot more leeway, and the boy is a special exception spiritually

now I wonder if dante takes his own advice and does too...or if he's too miserable and focused on the verge issue post-2018...hmmm I am inclined to believe the 'jacks off alone and cries' reading <3 and fwiw I seriously doubt he thinks of verge's frozen-in-time body sexually at all I think he cries himself to sleep about it and about being too late and lost opportunities and betraying him instead

bel makes his appearance, we're in the sloth arc already! but how does he know now is the time?

SLOTH IS THE ONE PUTTING ON THAT OMELAS CHILD PLAY....oh you WOULD see a story about a child suffering and go 'oughhhh we need to end the world and kill ourselves' wouldn't you

I was so confused first read 😭 like 'damn, who could THIS be?' IT'S A CHARACTER THAT'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME, IDIOT! just...lurking in the shadows

god's most powerful soldier, felled by 'too horny to do domestic tasks'. sad!

for some reason this panel of him looks weird. too cutesy?

this IS kind of weak for rehab. also...does he not trust him? :(

dehumanizing :(

can I say something. Queen shit

also yayyy the witches!!!

charlotte really always looks pissed...

and she really always goes around without a shirt or pants, just that cape with sleeves and tights....enthralled by her choices

also I like how verge has a cute little smile even in the background and char's like :I

funny that he identifies indolence as the issue here but it IS the sloth arc...

he's couching it in language of practicality - and he's RIGHT, they can't keep using him like this and expect him to be fine - but I know he also heard about the situation and went FUCKKKKK this kid needs a break we have got to keep him off the battlefield for a while. they need a child therapist who isn't affiliated w the church onsite or something bc none of these people know how to deal w this

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Ok so I know you said you didn't care about pregnancy timeframes but I had to do it.

According to my calculations: I'm both stretching and squeezing the dates and numbers REAL HARD to make some sense. You're telling me, that Sonia gave birth to Solana EXTREMELY RIGHT BEFORE she arrived to take on Zetsubou and extremely right after her birthday. Damn girl. Again, I had to push and pull numbers a lot. There's no way Sonia secretly gave birth during being gunned down by soldiers. That's bullshit.

Also according to my calculations, I can barely pinpoint that back at the very close end of January last year, when someone (it might have been me anonymous) asked Gundham to french kiss Sonia and she was the one who pounced on him instead, that was likely when Gundham might have gotten her pregnant. (Then again, Sonia is horny and sexually active as damn hell so whatever).

If these are the cases then, the lots of things I wanted to point out are that:

1. Gundham literally had a conversation right after he got her pregnant about when they will have an heir and he basically said he's not ready yet and "when the time is ripe, I will be ready". Well, I think it was way too late for whether you're ready or not, bro.

2. Back in july of last year, I assume Sonia's already aware of her being secretly pregnant and was subtly foreshadowing it because Sonia was given "a vision of her secret child" and she referred to her future kid as a she and pondering how she would grow up compared to lil Natsumi.

And 3. I FUCKING CALLED THIS AND SONIA DISMISSED IT. Back in March of this year (so Sonia would have already given birth), when there was a conversation about how no one else has had a kid yet beside Fuyupeko, I saw that Sonia was acting a bit suspicious. I even pointed it out and said she was pregnant and some shit and she said she meant nothing of it. You lied to us!

//Fair analysis, but I will clarify one thing.

//For Kuroba, the circumstances are kind of backwards, so I will not touch on them, and let people figure them out.

//However, I can confirm that Sonia WAS pregnant with Solana while she was fighting Zetsubou in the factory. But knowingly hid that fact from her friends so they wouldn't grow concerned for her.

//Suffice to say the Remnants were not happy when Sonia finally told them the truth, but she justified it by saying she would not want to give birth to a child if they had to live in a world where Zetsubou had any sort of power.

//Besides, chances were they would have either killed Sonia, and Solana by extension, before she even had a chance to be born, or, more likely, they would abort the child when they abducted Sonia, then reveal that she was pregnant before her capture, and that they killed her baby to drive her into Despair again.

//And none of them could really argue against this.

-Mod