#i'm weak and fatigued and exhausted and dizzy

[sapphire-weapon]

update: i am Unwell

[valkyriexo]

You Faint | Bang Chan

ᑉ³pairing; Bang Chan x Reader

ᑉ³genre; Sickfic, Comfort, Fluff,

ᑉ³warnings; Fainting due to Dehydration and being busy, mentions of not eating, mentions of not drinking water, kissing, Implied Female reader, Established relationship

ᑉ³Authors Note; Other members coming soon!

Part of the "He helps you when.." collection. Other members parts: Chan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

In the flurry of your responsibilities as a personal assistant to the CEO of a massive corporation, every second counts, every task critical to the smooth functioning of the business. Despite the hunger gnawing at your stomach and the parched feeling in your throat, you soldier on, driven by the need to ensure that everything operates seamlessly for your employer.

Hours blur together as you navigate the demands of the corporate world, your own needs pushed to the sidelines in the relentless pursuit of success. The weight of expectations presses down on you with each passing moment, propelling you forward even as exhaustion threatens to overwhelm you. You don't have time to notice the way your limbs grow heavy with fatigue, the world around you fading into a distant blur as you push yourself beyond your limits.

But as the day wears on, your body begins to rebel against the neglect it's been subjected to. Dizziness clouds your vision, a warning sign of the toll the day's exertions have taken. With every step, your limbs grow heavier, protesting against the punishing pace you've been maintaining.

And then, without warning, it all becomes too much. Your vision blurs, black spots dancing at the edges as dizziness overwhelms your senses. Your knees buckle beneath you, unable to support the weight of your weakened body, and before you can even comprehend what's happening, darkness claims you.

As consciousness slowly seeps back into your awareness, you find yourself nestled on the plush couch of the CEO's office, the soft hum of the air conditioner the only sound in the room. Your head throbs with the remnants of your fainting spell, a dull ache echoing through your skull.

Blinking groggily, you glance around the room, your eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. To your surprise, you find yourself surrounded by two or three other assistants, their faces etched with concern as they hover nearby, murmuring amongst themselves.

"Hey, are you okay?" one of them asks, her voice laced with worry as she kneels beside you, her hand hovering over your forehead. "You gave us quite a scare there."

You nod weakly, the events of the day slowly coming back to you in fragmented pieces. "I... I think so," you mumble, your words slurred with exhaustion.

The other assistants exchange worried glances, their concern palpable in the air. "You should rest for a bit," another assistant suggests, her tone gentle as she helps you sit up, offering you a glass of water.

Taking a sip, you feel the cool liquid soothe your parched throat, the sensation a welcome relief. As you lean back against the cushions, you're grateful for the support of your colleagues, their presence a comforting reminder that you're not alone in your struggles.

"Thanks," you murmur, offering them a weak smile. "I appreciate it."

"We were so worried about you," one of them says, her voice filled with genuine concern. "You gave us quite the scare."

You offer a weak smile, still feeling disoriented and unsure of what happened. "I'm sorry," you mumble, your words barely audible.

Another assistant nods sympathetically. "We called for help," she explains gently. "We wanted to make sure you were okay."

You furrow your brow, confusion clouding your thoughts. "Called for help." you repeat, the words sinking in slowly.

Your mind feels foggy, memories hazy and fragmented, making it difficult to grasp the severity of the situation. The concern in the assistant's eyes only adds to your growing sense of unease, prompting a knot of anxiety to tighten in your chest.

Before anyone can elaborate further, the door to the CEO's office swings open, and Chan rushes in, his expression a mix of panic and relief. "I got here as fast as I could," he says breathlessly, his eyes darting around the room until they land on you. "Are you okay? What happened?"

You swallow hard, the reality of the situation hitting you like a ton of bricks. They called Chan, your emergency contact, before they even called the paramedics. You feel a pang of guilt knowing that he's here now, worrying about you, when you hadn't wanted to burden him.

As Chan rushes to your side, his expression a mix of relief and concern, you can see the worry etched into every line of his face. His hands tremble slightly as he reaches out to grasp yours, his touch both reassuring and desperate.

"I... I don't know," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I fainted, I think."

Chan's eyes widen with alarm, his grip on your hand tightening. "You fainted?" he repeats, his voice tinged with disbelief. Chan's concern deepens, his brows furrowing with worry. "Do you know why?" he asks gently. "Did you eat today? Drink enough water?"

You shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny, the guilt of neglecting your own well-being weighing heavily on you. "I... I may have forgotten," you admit sheepishly, avoiding his gaze.

His expression softens with understanding, but a flicker of frustration dances in his eyes. "Y/N.."

"I just didn't have time," you whine, feeling the weight of his disappointment settle over you. "I have deadlines to meet, and it's been really busy here with the CEO prepping for a major partnership with another company. Plus, I'm in line for a promotion, Chan. If I do well, it's almost guaranteed. But if I fail, then I have no shot."

Chan's expression doesn’t give much away, but his resolve remains firm. "It's not that important," he insists, his tone gentle but firm. "There will always be other opportunities. Your health should come first."

You shake your head, frustration bubbling to the surface. "Not everyone can lead and be super talented like you, Chan," you argue, your voice tinged with emotion. "Some of us have to work twice as hard just to keep up."

"I know it feels that way," he says gently, as he reaches out to cup your cheek, his touch warm and comforting. "You're already doing more than enough," he assures you, his gaze unwavering. "But your health should never be sacrificed for success."

You sigh, feeling the weight of his words settling over you. "I know," you whisper, your voice heavy with resignation.

Chan's hums at your response, his hand lingering on your cheek for a moment longer before he reluctantly withdraws. "Let's go home," he says gently, " You need rest."

With a heavy heart, you rise from the couch, your legs trembling beneath you as the full extent of your exhaustion becomes apparent. Chan's eyes widen in concern as he notices your struggle, his expression softening with empathy.

"Here, let me help you," he says, moving to your side and slipping an arm around your waist for support.

You lean into him gratefully, feeling the warmth of his embrace. With Chan's steadying presence, you manage to make your way out of the CEO's office and towards the elevator, your fatigue pressing down on you with each step.

As you reach the lobby, Chan guides you towards the exit, but when you attempt to take a step forward, your legs buckle beneath you, weakened by fatigue. Chan's eyes widen in alarm, his arms wrapping around you protectively as he catches you before you fall.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.

You nod weakly, feeling embarrassed by your inability to stand on your own two feet. "I'm just... really tired," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

Without hesitation, Chan sweeps you up into his arms, his strength a reassuring presence against your exhausted frame. "Let's get you home," he says softly, his voice filled with tenderness.

You nestle into his embrace, feeling safe and secure in his arms as he carries you out of the building and towards the waiting car.

Once you're settled into the car, Chan drives you home with careful attention, his concern never wavering as he steals glances at you from time to time. When you finally arrive at your apartment, he helps you out of the car and guides you inside, his arm wrapped protectively around you.

As you enter the cozy sanctuary of your home, Chan guides you towards the couch. However, he senses your hesitation, the way you lean heavily on him as if struggling to keep your balance.

"You need to rest," he insists softly, his voice laced with concern as he helps you settle onto the cushions. Despite his gentle urging, you remain silent, the weariness evident in every line of your body.

"I feel gross," you finally murmur, your voice barely above a whisper, admitting to the discomfort that weighs heavily on you.

Chan's brows furrow with worry, his gaze searching your face for any sign of discomfort or pain. Seeing your distress, he nods in understanding.

"Would you like to take a shower?" he suggests gently, his tone filled with empathy. He waits patiently for your response, ready to provide the support and comfort you need

You shake your head slowly, a feeling of exhaustion washing over you. "I don't think I have the energy," you confess, feeling a pang of guilt at the admission.

Chan's expression fills with empathy as he steps closer, his hand reaching out to gently squeeze yours. "That's okay," he reassures you, his voice soft and comforting. "Why don't we start with something smaller? Like washing your hair?"

You blink back tears, starting to feel overwhelmed. "I just... I feel so drained," you admit, your voice trembling with emotion.

Chan nods sympathetically, his gaze filled with compassion. "I understand," he says softly, his words a soothing balm to your weary soul. "Let's take it one step at a time, okay?

As Chan helps you make your way to the bathroom, you feel the weight of exhaustion pulling at your limbs. With his steady support, you settle on the edge of the bathtub, feeling drained and weak. Chan kneels beside you, his gentle hands reaching for the shower head. His concerned gaze meeting yours.

"Lean back," he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody in the quiet bathroom. You obey, allowing your head to rest against the edge of the tub as Chan pours the water over your hair, the liquid cascading down in a comforting stream.

The sensation of the warm water against your scalp is both soothing and revitalizing, washing away the weariness that has settled deep within your bones. Chan's touch is tender, his fingers massaging your scalp with care as he works shampoo into your hair, creating a rich lather that fills the air with a subtle scent of eucalyptus.

As Chan tenderly tends to your needs, a wave of helplessness crashes over you, leaving you feeling small and useless. The inability to perform even the simplest tasks on your own gnaws at you, a constant reminder of your vulnerability. You watch as Chan effortlessly takes care of everything, his competence highlighting your own shortcomings.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you struggle to suppress the rising tide of frustration and self-doubt. "I hate feeling like this," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, tinged with the bitterness of inadequacy.

"Like what?" Chan's voice is gentle, his concern evident as he seeks to understand you.

"Helpless," you confess, the word heavy with emotion.

Chan notices the heaviness in your sigh and the sorrow in your eyes, and his heart aches with empathy. Leaning closer, he places a soft kiss on your lips.

"You're not helpless, love," he murmurs, his voice soft and filled with affection. "You're just taking a break. Everyone needs a little help sometimes, even superheroes like you."

His words are like a warm embrace, wrapping around you with love and understanding.

"You're my baby," he whispers, "And I'll always be here to take care of you, no matter what."

As Chan rinses the shampoo from your hair, the water running clear and pure, you feel a sense of renewal wash over you. With each gentle stroke of his hands, you can feel your energy slowly returning, a flicker of hope igniting within your chest.

When the task is finally complete, Chan reaches for a fluffy towel, wrapping it around your shoulders with care. He helps you to stand, guiding you away from the bathtub.

"Let's dry your hair a bit so you don't go to bed with it wet," he suggests, his lips forming a shy smile. He grabs a hairdryer, carefully adjusting the settings before starting to blow dry your hair, the warm air a comforting embrace against your skin.

As he works, you feel a sense of peace settle over you, the sound of the hairdryer a soothing backdrop to the quiet intimacy of the moment.

Chan concentrates intently, his brow furrowing as he focuses on the task at hand. His brow furrows in concentration, his lips pursed in determination as he attempts to weave the strands of your hair into a braid. With each failed attempt, a mixture of frustration and amusement flickers across his features, his cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment.

You can't help but find his earnest efforts endearing, and a soft chuckle escapes your lips as you watch him work. The sound fills the small bathroom, mingling with the gentle patter of water droplets.

"Where did you learn to braid?" you ask, genuine curiosity in your tone.

Chan looks up at you, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "I've been teaching myself," he admits, his fingers still fumbling with the strands of your hair. "I thought... one day, when we have kids together, I want to be able to braid their hair. I want to be the kind of dad who can do that."

His vulnerability touches your heart, and you reach out to gently squeeze his hand, a tender smile playing on your lips. "You'll be an amazing dad," you assure him, your voice filled with love and admiration. "And you're already an amazing partner."

"I want to be better,"he says softly, his voice tinged with sincerity. "For you."

He leans in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. His lips are soft against yours. As he pulls away, his eyes shimmering with adoration, he presses another tender kiss to your forehead before returning to his task.

"You did great," Chan whispers, his voice filled with pride and admiration, as he guides you to your bedroom. The soft glow of the bedside lamp casts a warm, comforting light across the room as he fusses over you, fluffing pillows and tucking blankets around you until you're cocooned in warmth.

With gentle hands, he arranges the pillows behind you, ensuring you're propped up just right for maximum comfort. He tucks the blankets snugly around your shoulders, his touch tender and reassuring as he ensures every corner is tucked in securely.

After making sure you're settled, Chan disappears into the kitchen, the faint clinking of dishes drifting through the air as he prepares your meal. Moments later, he returns with a tray laden with food – a simple yet nourishing meal, prepared with love.

The aroma of home-cooked food fills the room, mingling with the soft scent of freshly laundered sheets. Chan sets the tray down on your bedside table, arranging the dishes with care before settling in beside you.

As you eat, Chan sits close by, his warmth radiating beside you. He regales you with stories and jokes, his laughter filling the room with a sense of joy and ease. Each tale is punctuated by his infectious laughter, and despite your weariness, you can't help but smile at his antics.

As you finish your meal, feeling the warmth of the food spreading through your body, Chan rises from his seat beside you, his movements fluid and graceful as he clears away the dishes. The clinking of plates and silverware fills the air as he tidies up, his attention to detail evident in every gesture.

Once the dishes are cleared, Chan returns to your side, settling in beside you on the bed. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle embrace. The familiar scent of his cologne envelops you, soothing away the remnants of tension that linger in your muscles.

With a contented sigh, you snuggle closer to him, reveling in the warmth and security of his embrace. Chan presses a tender kiss to your forehead, his touch a silent reassurance that everything will be okay.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he murmurs, his voice low and raw. As he speaks, he guides your hand to his chest, letting you feel the rapid thud of his heart beneath his shirt.

"Every time you're in pain or in danger," he continues, his voice barely above a whisper, "it's like my whole world stops."

You feel a lump form in your throat, a rush of emotion threatening to overwhelm you. "I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. "It wasn't on purpose."

Chan shakes his head, his grip tightening around you as if afraid to let go. "I know," he says softly. "But I need you to promise me something."

"What?" you ask.

"Promise me that you'll always try your best to care of yourself," he says, his tone earnest. "Promise me that you won't push yourself too hard, that you'll listen to your body and prioritize your health."

You meet his gaze, seeing the depth of his concern reflected in his eyes. With a nod, you offer him a small smile, filled with gratitude and determination.

"I promise," you vow, your voice steady with conviction.

Chan's eyes soften, a tender smile playing on his lips. "And I promise in return," he says softly, "to always be there when you need me, or a little extra help."

He settles back against the pillows, pulling you with him until you're both comfortable. As you nestle into each other, Chan reaches for the remote control, flicking through the channels until he finds a movie that catches your interest.

The soft glow of the TV bathes the room in a warm, flickering light as the movie begins to play. You rest your head against Chan's chest, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat getting faster beneath your ear. It's a comforting sound, a reminder of the love and stability that he brings into your life.

As the movie unfolds, you lose yourself in the story, the worries and stresses of the day fading into the background. With Chan by your side, you feel safe and at peace, cocooned in a bubble of love and warmth.

ઇଓ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support ♡ | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like ♡ | © 2024 Valkyriexo 

[shitsndgiggs]

Hey girl....before saying anything else.... i think that your fics are the best... like they are so well written... can you write something fluff about kenan yildiz x reader where they're married and she is like constantly sick and dizzy because she is pregnant and something happens and they find out they're going to have a baby....?

SURPRISE ADDITION - KENAN YILDIZ

After fainting at work, and being taking to the hospital, you and kenan end up getting some news

Kenan Yildiz x pregnant! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

I had been feeling off for weeks. It started with occasional dizziness, which I brushed off as exhaustion from work.

But then came the nausea and the constant fatigue. Kenan noticed my waning energy and growing irritability, but I dismissed his concerns, attributing it all to stress.

One evening, while I was at work, staring at my computer screen, when the room started to spin. I gripped the edge of my desk, willing the dizziness to pass, but it only got worse.

I tried to stand, but my legs felt like jelly. The last thing I remembered was my colleague's concerned face before everything went black.

When I came to, I was lying on the floor with a small crowd gathered around me. Someone had called an ambulance, and I heard them talking about getting in touch with my husband.

Kenan arrived at the hospital just as they were wheeling me into a room.

His face was a mix of fear and concern as he rushed to my side. "Y/N, what happened? Are you okay?"

I managed a weak smile. "I fainted at work. They said it might be dehydration or something."

The doctor came in a few minutes later, holding a clipboard and looking serious. "Mrs. Y/N, we're going to run some tests to find out what's causing your symptoms. It could be a number of things, but we want to be thorough."

Kenan nodded, his grip on my hand tightening. "Thank you, doctor."

As they drew blood and hooked me up to an IV, Kenan stayed close, his worry palpable. "I hate seeing you like this," he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. "You've been so tired and sick lately. We should have come here sooner."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. "I didn't think it was this serious."

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice firm but gentle. "I just want you to get better."

After what felt like an eternity, the doctor returned with the results. "Well, we have some news," she began, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Congratulations, Mrs. Y/N. You're pregnant."

For a moment, the world stood still. Kenan and I stared at the doctor, trying to process her words. "Pregnant?" I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

The doctor nodded. "Yes, about eight weeks along, from what we can tell. The dizziness and fainting are due to severe morning sickness and dehydration, but both you and the baby are fine. We'll give you some fluids and medication to help manage the symptoms."

Kenan let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, a slow smile spreading across his face. "We're... we're having a baby?" He looked at me, his eyes shining with joy and disbelief.

I nodded, tears streaming down my face. "Yes, Kenan. We're having a baby."

He leaned in and kissed me gently, his hands trembling as they cupped my face. "I can't believe it. This is the best news ever."

As the nurse hooked me up to an IV, Kenan pulled a chair close to the bed and took my hand. "You scared me," he admitted softly.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, squeezing his hand.

“Promise me you'll take it easy from now on," he said, his voice firm but gentle.

"I promise," I said, tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm just so glad you're here."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "There's nowhere else I'd be. You're my world, Y/N."

The next morning, after being discharged from the hospital, Kenan insisted on taking me home and making sure I rested.

He took a few days off work to stay with me, his protective nature in full force.

One evening, as we were lying in bed, Kenan turned to me with a thoughtful expression. "You know, when I got that call from your office, it was like my worst nightmare."

I looked at him, my heart aching at the worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kenan. I didn't mean to scare you."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault. But it made me realize just how much I love you and our baby. I can't bear the thought of anything happening to you."

I reached up and cupped his cheek, feeling the roughness of his stubble under my fingers. "We're going to be okay. We have each other."

He smiled, his eyes softening. "Yes, we do. And I promise to take care of you, no matter what."

[spectersgirl]

i love love love any and all domestic harvey specter posts. i have pots which causes me to faint sometimes (but i love the attention so it’s whatever). what would it look like if harvey had a wife with pots? much love xx

"but i love the attention" I am CRYING LMAO

I actually had to research this a bit because I've heard of it but didn't really know what it was. if anyone else is curious, this is the article I read!

I'm sorry this is so late, I really didn't know where I was going with this so I just had it rotting in my drafts

I hope you enjoy it, I probably was not super accurate but I tried!

Tough Days

Harvey Specter x Reader

--------

The morning sunlight streamed through flowy white curtains as Harvey Specter woke up to find you already stirring in bed. He blinked away the remnants of sleep, taking a moment to appreciate your beauty.

"Morning, gorgeous," Harvey greeted, his voice warm with affection as he propped himself up on an elbow.

You smiled softly, though there was a hint of exhaustion in your eyes. "Morning, handsome."

He could tell it was going to be one of your tough days. You had been diagnosed with POTS a few years ago, and while you and Harvey had learned to manage it together, some days were still more challenging than others.

"Need anything?" Harvey asked, already shifting into protective husband mode.

"Just some water and maybe breakfast in bed?" You replied with a faint grin, voice laced with tiredness.

"Consider it done." Harvey slipped out of bed, tucking the duvet around you and dropping a kiss onto your forehead before heading to the kitchen.

He returned with a tray bearing a glass of water, a bowl of oatmeal, and a side of fruit. Setting it down carefully, he made sure everything was within your reach. Harvey sat on the edge of the bed, watching you eat.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked gently, concern visible on his face.

You sighed, setting the spoon down. "Dizzy and fatigued, but I'll manage."

"You shouldn't have to 'manage'" Harvey said firmly. "You've got me."

You smiled gratefully, reaching out to take his hand. "I know, and I'm thankful for that every day."

Harvey leaned over, pressing a tender kiss to your temple. "Let's take it easy today. I'll cancel my morning, we'll just relax and take care of you."

You snuggled closer to Harvey, feeling the warmth of his presence soothing you. But suddenly, a wave of dizziness swept over you, and your vision blurred. Before you could even voice a warning, the room spun, and your strength wavered. You struggled to sit up, gasping for breath.

"Y/N?" Harvey's voice was laced with worry as he noticed the change in your demeanor. In an instant, he was upright at your side, steadying you.

"I'm okay," you managed, though your words were shaky.

But before you could finish the sentence, the world tilted, and everything went dark.

Panic surged through Harvey as he caught his wife, your body slumping against him. "Y/N! Hey, baby, stay with me," he urged, laying you gently on the bed.

Your eyelids fluttered weakly as consciousness returned. You blinked, disoriented and weak, trying to focus on Harvey's concerned face.

"Easy, take deep breaths," he coached, his voice calm despite the worry etched on his features.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, feeling embarrassed and frustrated by your body's betrayal.

Harvey shook his head gently. "No apologies. You don't have to apologize for something you can't control."

He quickly ran to get a cold towel and placed it on your forehead, helping you sit up slowly. He monitored your pulse and made sure you were comfortable, something he'd done countless times before on days like this.

"You scared me for a second there," Harvey admitted softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek.

You managed a weak smile. "Sorry you have to deal with that."

"Don't be ridiculous," Harvey replied firmly. "You're my priority, always."

He stayed by your side, ensuring you had fully recovered before he even considered leaving you alone. As you regained your strength, you felt grateful for Harvey's unwavering support.

"Thank you for being here," you murmured, leaning into his comforting presence.

"For you, always," Harvey assured, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

As the morning passed, Harvey stayed by your side, making sure you had everything you needed. He adjusted the room temperature, brought your favorite books, and even ran a warm bath to help ease your discomfort.

"You're spoiling me today," you teased as Harvey helped you into the bath.

He chuckled softly. "With everything you do for me all the time, it's the least I can do."

Once you were settled, Harvey stayed close, chatting about anything and everything to keep your mind off the discomfort. He'd perfected this art, knowing when to distract you and when to let you rest.

Later in the evening, as you settled back into bed, feeling a bit better, you looked at Harvey with gratitude in your eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," he assured, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "I'll always be here, taking care of you."

And as they curled up together, you felt a wave of love and appreciation wash over you for the man next to you. He always put you first and made sure you were taken care of, and while this felt unnatural to you at first, you'd learned to stop fighting it and just let him care for you.

[kisses-for-you]

Hurt - Jill Valentine

Jill Valentine X Fem!Reader

Summary: You get injured by a Pale Head and Jill has to help you before it's too late.

Word Count: 1,103

September 28, 1998.

The day the world went to utter shit.

You and your girlfriend, Jill, have once again found yourselves caught up in a dire situation. This time, however, it involves fucking zombies, of all things.

Currently, you're sat in a room deep within Umbrella's underground lab, propped up against a cold, unforgiving wall.

You and Jill had been fighting some sort of monster that might have been called a 'Pale Head'. Or at least that's what you think it was. Both you and Jill had been trying to kill the fucker, not realising it's fast regeneration. While trying to kill it, it dug its nasty claws into your thigh, ripping the skin. As it viciously tore into your thigh, a scream escaped your lips, the pain finally registering.

You were now left with an excruciating wound, that was bleeding more and more by the second.

Jill shot her gun one last time at the creature, knocking it down for god knows how long. All you hoped for was that it would be long enough for you to get to a safe spot.

You were barely standing as you tried to stop the intense bleeding coming from your thigh. Jill immediately ran over to you, wrapping your arm around her shoulder, her arm going around your waist.

"Y/N, you're going to be okay... I promise," she said, still panting as she tried to catch her breath from the fight that happened just seconds ago.

She led you away and into some room that surprisingly didn't have any undead lurking in the shadows, ready to jump out at you at any given second.

"I have to let go of you for a second, Y/N. I have to lock the door. Can you stand on your own?" Jill looked down at you as she spoke.

As she spoke to you, you noticed the concern that was painted across her face and the worry that laced her voice.

"Y-yeah. I think so," you stuttered, feeling dizzy and light-headed as you responded.

"Alright. Ready?" Jill asked, her words filled with a tone of uneasiness.

You gave her one small and simple nod and as soon as you did, she let go of you. Immediately, she went to lock the door. You swayed for a couple of seconds before falling to the ground, just barely catching yourself. You leaned against a wall, now sitting.

After successfully locking the door, Jill turned back to you and straight away took notice of how pale and weak you looked. She rushed to you, kneeling on the ground next to you.

"Fucking hell, Y/N. That doesn't look good at all," she mumbled as her gaze locked on the wound on your thigh and then back on your face, "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can last like this, Jill..." You sounded just as drained as you felt..Tears shimmered in your eyes, threatening to spill. The pain, the fatigue, it was all just more than you could ever possibly handle.

"Please don't say that. You'll be fine. We'll make it out of this, together." It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself rather than you.

Jill's hand reached out to yours. She let her hand rest on top of yours, her hands extremely warm in comparison to yours. Or maybe you were just extremely cold.

Sweat fell from your forehead and down your face, even though you felt like you were freezing. This wasn't looking good. You were even starting to get a fever.

"I'm going to look for some bandages. Something has to be around here," Jill said, now standing up, letting go of your hand.

She didn't realise just how bad this whole thing was until now. Her fear and anxiety were at an all-time high. She was scared for you. She didn't want you to leave her yet. She wasn't ready at all.

You just nodded your head once, feeling even more tired than before; if that was even possible at this point. Jill looked around the room, opening every single cabinet that she could.

As a S.T.A.R.S. officer, Jill had basic first aid knowledge that she would hopefully be able to use in this situation. You trusted her and you knew she'd try her best, no matter what.

After finishing looking around the room, she came back with some bandages and a bottle that looked like it could be antiseptic.

Jill looked down at you and she noticed how you were finding breathing harder and harder. Your breathing appeared difficult and shallow. She knew she would have to act fast.

"Y/N, I have to warn you; this is going to sting like a bitch," she felt sorry for the fact she was about to cause you more pain, but it had to be done.

"Just.. do it," your words came out quiet, almost like a whisper. You just wanted this to be over with already.

Jill pours some antiseptic onto a gauze pad. Almost right away, she wipes the gauze over your wound causing you to bite your lip and draw in a sharp breath. She muttered a small 'sorry' as she cleaned the wound on your thigh.

Once she was done, Jill put some dressing directly on top of the wound. She then wrapped a bandage over the dressing.

You felt like you were about to pass out. You had lost so much blood in such a small amount of time, it was honestly a miracle you were still alive. "It's done," she told you as she glanced at your face, "Y/N?"

You're on the brink of unconsciousness. But it's almost like hearing your girlfriend's voice makes you feel like you have to fight. You can't leave her alone. Not now, not ever. You try to fight the exhaustion, for Jill.

"Hm?" is all you could say.

You don't have the energy to say anything else. But you just want to let her know you're still here, with her.

"Just hold on. I'm not letting you die tonight. Not like this," her words are filled with a tone of confidence. She's not letting you go out this way.

A small smile plays on the edge of your lips at her words. You manage to gather enough energy to respond, "I love you."

"I love you too, Y/N. That's why I have to get you out of here."

She scoops you up into her arms, holding you bridal style. She's ready to take on anything and everything, just for you.

[ignisomniac]

so i've been asked a couple times:

fox where have you been

fox are you alive

fox are you okay

and my answers to those questions are as follows:

very sick and losing a lot of blood

yes unfortunately

not really

more shit under the cut

so basically... yesterday i was informed that i had lost so much blood from my period (that started again and hasn't stopped for nearly 5 weeks) that i went from perfectly healthy to needing emergency treatment.

the doctor literally walked in the room and apologized and told me it was no wonder i've been feeling awful. her face was just full of... concern? like almost fear.

i went from about 12 for my hemoglobin stat to 7.5, which is only .5 away from needing blood transfusions and even worse emergency stuff. i was given an iron infusion, where they set you up with an iv and directly infuse iron-rich fluids into your blood stream. i'll be receiving a second treatment next week.

i have been dealing with:

a horrible, HORRIBLE period and waking up covered in blood most days

heart issues

breathing issues

extreme exhaustion and fatigue

weakness, dizziness, lightheadedness

occasional nausea

and yeah.

nothing except the iron infusions are working for me to keep me healthy.

i switched my obgyn to a new one and despite her being booked up for months, they squeezed me in for next week because my symptoms are just so severe.

so... yeah. that's where i've been... i hardly have the energy to get up and make myself food every day, so i'm even more forgetful than usual.

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

a whisper in the autumn wind

Heist!Mark x reader | Words: 1647 | Read on AO3

A chill racks your body as you and Mark make your way through the cool night. You mentally curse, wishing you were wearing more layers, though you know anything more wouldn't have fit under the tactical vest that sits snugly around your torso.

Your heist partner doesn't seem to notice you shiver, busy making sure the coast is clear before proceeding and gesturing for you to follow.

You do your best to keep pace with your friend's manoeuvres as he darts an odd pattern through the museum, triggering a bout of slight nausea that causes you to stop in your tracks.

‘Hey, keep up!’ Mark whisper-yells, turning around just in time to miss you steadying yourself after a wave of dizziness.

Somehow you make it the rest of the way without collapsing or being seen, but you're now all too aware of the fatigue in your muscles and the soreness in your throat. Meanwhile, your partner in crime carefully but swiftly wraps the stolen artefacts and slips them into his bag.

Your prize this time? A series of ancient tablets that you plan to sell to an illegal collector. You can't imagine what practical use someone would have for these, but at the end of the day, a job's a job and money is money.

It is only on your way out, that you feel the tell-tale itch in your nose that you have been dreading all evening.

As you scrunch up your face, Mark looks at you in confusion.

‘Buddy, you've been acting off all night, what's up with you? You good?’

You nod, desperately wanting to move on and for this to be over with.

The first couple of sneezes you manage to quell without too much fuss, but you can already feel a larger one threatening your nostrils.

While crouched behind a display, hiding from some guards, comes the point at which you can no longer hide that you're suppressing sneezes.

‘Alright, we are so close to being scot-free— hey what are you —? You're not sick are you? Really? Now?!’

Mark shakes his head back and forth with a string of frantically whispered "no"s as you fight your reflexes, but it's futile.

The sneeze that finally escapes you is resounding, and there is a beat of stunned silence and lack of movement from every party involved before you and Mark react first, bolting out the exit with the guards in pursuit.

It's a mad dash with a lot of ducking and diving, adrenaline probably the only thing keeping your body going, but by some miracle the two of you manage to lose them, eventually making it to where your getaway vehicle is parked some ways away so as to not be suspicious.

Piling into the passenger seat, exhaustion hits you all at once and you're thankful that Mark is the one driving. You pull off your gloves and hat and he does the same.

With no one following you, your partner drives cautiously in order to not draw any unwanted attention, careful to abide by traffic laws and always on the lookout for cops.

‘There's tissues and water in the glove box,’ he says after a few minutes, expression hard-lined and inscrutable, eyes focused on the road.

There's a thick tension in the car, uncharacteristically quiet save for the limited traffic outside and the rumble of the engine. You blow your nose, and it feels awkward in the silence, only broken on occasion by your sniffing. You take a sip of water, grateful for the coolness against your chapped lips and dry throat.

Eventually, you decide you don't want to endure the tension any longer, and you're too tired to let your little mishap turn into an argument; it was your fault, after all.

‘I'm sorry.’

Mark sighs. He glances at you, then back to the road.

‘It's okay. It's not your fault you're sick, it's just… Why didn't you tell me?’

‘Didn't want to ruin the heist.’ You laugh, but it's strained and weak, void of any real mirth or humour. ‘But I guess I kinda messed up on that anyway, huh?’

He lets out a small huff of laughter. ‘Yeah, no shit.’

You look down at your hands, folded in your lap.

‘Hey, it's not a big deal,’ he consoles. ‘We got what we came for and we didn't get caught. That's about as much as we can say for most of our heists.’

Your gaze stays downcast; he does make a good point, but it doesn't stop you from feeling a little guilty.

Mark must notice, because he reaches across to place a hand on your shoulder reassuringly, other hand still keeping the wheel steady.

You put your own hand over his, grateful for the comfort. You close your eyes and will away the growing dizziness and brain fog, the warmth from his now ungloved palm reassuring.

‘Look buddy, I need you to know I'm not mad or anything, just a bit upset that you didn't tell me in the first place… and annoyed at myself for not catching onto the fact sooner. I just thought… I thought you felt like you could be honest with me about this stuff.’

There's an undeniable hurt in his tone that makes you look up at him. He is still intently focused on the road ahead, despite there being rather few other people and cars out at this time of night, and you know it's out of choice — he takes his eyes off the streets in favour of looking your way for much longer than necessary when he wants to. Usually you'd chide him for doing so, but right now you can't help but wish he'd properly meet your eyes, just for a moment.

‘No – I can. I can tell you nearly everything, I – I'm sorry.’ You take a steadying breath, organising your thoughts. ‘You were just – really looking forward to this one, and there was no better day for it, everything lined up perfectly for us to go tonight. This stupid cold had to turn up and it started out as just a sore throat, no big deal, and well… I thought I could stick it out a little longer despite feeling like crap, but…’ You trail off, turning to look out the window as he approaches your shared base, returning his hand to the wheel.

He pulls up, setting the car to park, and finally turns his head to fully face you, placing a hand on your knee to get your attention.

He says your name, and it sounds like a term of endearment. For someone so bold and often brash, he can be surprisingly tender, a side of him that rarely anyone but you gets to see. ‘I rely on you, and you can rely on me… but part of that means we have to tell each other these things.’

‘Yeah, OK…’

‘Pinky promise?’

‘What are you, five?’

‘I'm serious,’ he says firmly, holding out his finger to emphasise the point.

Smiling, you hook your pinky around his own and shake on it, but not without rolling your eyes first.

‘Good,’ he says, pleased. ‘Now that that's settled, let's get inside, hm?’

While Mark retrieves the loot and stows it for the time being, you let yourself in, settling on the small couch in the living room. You take off your shoes and unzip your vest, easing it off your aching limbs.

The nausea and dizziness seems to have passed but you feel hot, yet a little shivery, and you're on the verge of nodding off when Mark appears in front of you, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. If it's even possible, you feel incrementally hotter with his touch as you return his concerned gaze through sleepy, half-lidded eyes.

‘I think you've got a fever, bud. C'mon, time for bed.’

You groan in protest, too drained to move, instead letting your head fall forward to plop against his chest, the soft texture of his plain black sweater a comforting feel against your fevered skin.

‘Oh boy, what am I gonna do with you…?’ he murmurs, bringing a hand up to pat your hair. He speaks softly, and with such affection that your heart would probably be doing somersaults if you weren't so tired and ill.

‘Alright, upsy-daisy.’ In one quick motion, he picks you up, carrying you bridal style to your room, and for once you don't object.

‘Hey, you better not make me sick too,’ he warns without an ounce of actual distaste, as you practically nuzzle your face into him.

He gently lays you in bed, tucking covers around you.

‘I'll be right back.’

You instantly miss his presence, tugging the blanket up a little around yourself.

He returns before long with a box of tissues, the bottle of water you'd been drinking and some painkillers, leaving them by your bedside. He places a wet face cloth beside you as well.

‘I know you're probably feeling cold but I don't want your temperature to get too high, so use this, and keep drinking water.’

You nod, about ready to drift to sleep.

‘Call me if you need anything, OK? I won't be far.’

‘Don't you want to sleep?’

‘I will in a little while, but you can still call me.’

‘Ok,’ you reply appreciatively. ‘Thanks for… looking after me.’

‘Someone's got to.’ He smiles at you gently, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.

After a pause, he gets up to leave, pulling the door closed but leaving a gap the width of his face.

‘Rest up, buddy.’

He makes a quick kissing sound in your direction before shutting the door fully, his footsteps receding down the hallway.

Your face feels very warm.

Must be the fever, you think, placing the towel on your forehead with a yawn, before swiftly falling asleep.

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: angst, risky pregnancy issues, fluff, fingering, masturbating (female receiving), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, size kink, exophilia (extraterrestrial kink), monsterfucker

GUYS I'M SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS FIC some of you already know why but to the ones who dont: my life became so chaotic, all of a sudden, that I could barely log in here. I literally spent days without logging on tumblr. I had zero time and was always exhausted. But now my life is back at the tracks (thank you God 😭) - even though it's still pretty hectic - so I was able to find time and energy to write this chapter. Hope u like it 😘👀

Not fully proofread 🤡

Chapter 7

♡

You woke up in pure bliss. Many moons had passed now, your belly had gotten even bigger, your baby had grown. You're living two dreams at once. You were a mother and mated with the one person you've always loved. The owner of your every thought and your every girl-in-love-kind-of-sigh ever since you remember. You were carrying his child inside of you, you would often feel the little baby you both created together kicking your ribs. It brought tears to your eyes. You still don't know how it came to be, how a fully hybrid baby could actually be conceived. You know very well how Neteyam and you *created* the baby, but you have no idea how you actually were able to get pregnant. If it makes any sense. You laugh to yourself.

Things had been a little hard given that your pregnancy was a risky one (interspecies relationship things...) but if you don't count the fact you were feeling so fatigued, heavy and having a bit of trouble breathing from time to time, you had been great. Nothing too much, nothing that made your life quality decrease.

You stretched yourself and got up from your mat, walking towards the space inside your home where you and Neteyam kept the food, water, cooking utensils and such, as you were dying to eat breakfast. This pregnancy was making you so hungry most of the time. It's no surprise. You're carrying a half na'vi child in your human womb. Your fragile body needed way more nutrients than the usual.

You stopped for a second and look through the entrance of your house. You smiled at the view of the Pandoran nature out there, the birds singing, the green grass, the heavy tree branches. It filled your heart with a comforting, wholesome feeling you can't even put to words.

Everything seemed so perfect. Too perfect, actually...

You were eating a piece of the meat Neteyam had hunt for the both of you at dawn, just before he went to train with Jake. You had cooked it with some herbs and a little salt, that you would always ask some human acquaintances to bring to you from the lab, when you felt a horrible, almost unbearable feeling in your belly. "Ma Eywa, what is this?" You asked yourself, heartache and anxiety covering you. "Please Great Mother, don't let anything happen to my baby. Please." You were in the verge of tears when you started to feel weak and dizzy. Everything around you looked weird and distant. Finally, you were unconscious on the floor. Thank Eywa you were sitting, not standing. The fall would have been way worse.

➳

You opened your eyes and sunlight was scorching your eyeballs. It came from the door. You were still at your home with Neytiri and Dr Evelyn looking at you, one at each side of your aching body, while you were laying down in your mat. Neytiri was the Tsahìk and Dr Evelyn was taking care of you as a medical professional since you first found out you were pregnant.

"What happened?" You ask, head aching and confused

"Oh, thank you, Great Mother!" Neytiri exclaimed "You passed out, my dear. Kiri found you laying on the floor unconscious when she went to visit you to bring you some fruits and herbs she had collected this morning."

"I was so worried, (y/n). I was afraid something very bad would happen to you or the baby. Or both of you." Kiri had tears in her big eyes and her pretty face was still recovering from the shock. Seeing that made you feel a stab in your chest. She really, really cared about you and your baby. And of course, it was her brother's baby too. She was now not only your best friend but also your sister-in-law.

"Is everything okay with my baby?" You asked, fear taking over you

"We've checked how she's doing through an ultrasound and yes, she's okay." Dr Evelyn says in a calming voice

"...She?" You ask

"Yes, it's a girl." Neytiri says, smiling at you. "You and Neteyam will give us a babygirl as a grandchild." She was smiling, referring to herself and Jake, such an honest feeling of pure happiness could be seen in the na'vi woman's yellow eyes

You smiled, your eyes gleaming with tears. You were gonna have a babygirl. You were gonna give Neteyam a little daughter.

"And there's something that we wanna tell you. Your baby looks really different as she is a hybrid. She has mixed features in her face, na'vi and human. Her nose is like Neteyam's nose and so are her eyes, but the rest of her face is more human like. She also has long slender legs, like her father. But she's still a little smaller than common na'vi babies. She has four fingers and no stripes. And she has a queue. She will be able to make tsaheylu." Dr Evelyn said, smiling

"That's... incredible. My babygirl... She will be so beautiful... She seems to be more na'vi than human, though." You laugh a bit, imagining your daughter's cute little braid and her small tendrils. "But you guys did not tell me what happened. I mean, why did I pass out? I remember feeling a terrible pain in my belly. But the baby is okay, I didn't lose her, thank Eywa. But what was happening to my body?"

Neytiri started to say: "My son is na'vi, even though he has human blood in his veins too. As he impregnated you, his na'vi DNA helped form your placenta." You felt your face burn as your mother-in-law was saying that. She was just nonchalantly saying that her son impregnated you. You didn't know if you were just too shy, if the na'vi had a way more chill perspective about these things, even more than you already were aware of, or if it was because you were the one in the spotlight right now, but you were blushing a lot, your cheeks so rosy. "Your body did not know how to react to that, as you're human. Your placenta is being seen by your body as an invasive substance, to sum it up, because of Neteyam's DNA being so different from yours. So, your belly started to hurt. But Dr Evelyn and I have already taken care of this. You don't have to worry, darling. I prayed to Eywa. I performed a healing ritual on you. You'll be fine, Ma (y/n)."

"I gave you an injection that eased your pain until it went away and eventually you woke up. You're gonna take one of these shots everytime you start feeling pain in your belly, okay? We think it will happen a few more times. Take it as soon as the pain starts. The sooner, the less risky for you and the baby. It contains chemicals and Pandoran herbs that will help your body slowly understand that it's okay for your baby's placenta to be inside you and it will also help you feel less pain." Dr Evelyn advised, holding a small glass tube in her hand filled with a greenish liquid.

Suddenly, you heard heavy hard footsteps approaching. You breathed in relief when you saw it was Neteyam. His dark braids dancing in the air as he approached the entrance of the house he built for the both of you and your child.

"Neteyam!" You exclaimed

"Yawne..." he said, looking at you with loving eyes "Are you alright? Is our baby alright?" He sounded so worried "Lo'ak reached me and told me about what happened. I came as fast as I could but, you know, the forest is very big."

He walked towards you and when he got to where you were laying, he sat on his heels.

"Yes, our baby is alright. I'm okay too. And we're expecting a girl, by the way." You looked at him smiling wide, chest filled with a genuine feeling of joy and almost euphoria

"I give you my gratitude, Great Mother." Neteyam said a prayer to Eywa, smiling in relief "I can't believe it! We're gonna have a little girl." Tears of happiness were streaming down his beautiful face, running through his dark blue stripes

Everyone in the room looked at you and Neteyam smiling. Neytiri looked in a motherly way to the both of you, her fangs showing as she smiled. Kiri was smiling widely, her brows furrowed. Dr Evelyn was smiling but showing no teeth. Every person there looked happy for you two, na'vi, human or mixed.

But nobody was happier than Neteyam and you. He kissed your forehead while putting his big hand on your pregnant bump. You felt your girl kick, a pain coming through your ribcage. Neteyam felt it too. "She kicked. Our babygirl just kicked, my yawnetu. I felt her little kick." Neteyam smiled in awe, looking at you as you smiled back at him, your heart beating fast

Neteyam looked at his mother. They smiled at each other and she put her hand on his shoulder, then, looked at your belly, in an affectionate way

"Oh, my Eywa. I'm starting to really love the idea of becoming an aunt." Kiri said, still sitting a little further from everybody "Damn, so many tears in only one place." The Omatikaya young girl said, chuckling, as she sniffed because she never stopped crying since she found you needing her help. Thank Eywa her tears were now tears of delight

A big wholesome laugh could be heard in the room after Kiri said that, coming from everyone's throat.

➳

After everyone had left, it was only you and Neteyam at your home. Jake had freed him from his Olo'eyktan training for some hours so he could stay with you after what had happened. He would only go back later in the afternoon.

"Oh, yawntutsyìp... I thought I had lost you and our baby." Neteyam said, holding your face with both his huge hands

You put your hand over his, rubbed your face on his palm and then kissed it. "You always act so tenderly towards me, my love. You're my everything. And I love the way you care so deeply for our child. I can feel your love for her pouring out of you. You're so amazing." He smiled and leaned in for a kiss, which you were already planning on giving him

Your lips touched and he held your waist tightly. Both big hands on each side of your body. You felt a shiver coming down your spine. He kept kissing you, slowly but passionately. His velvety lips so warm, wetting your lips with his saliva, setting your whole body on fire as he gave you many pecks but then slid his tongue inside your mouth, breathing deep through his nose, making you moan for him. "I wanted to die just thinking about losing my mate and my child. I'm thankful you're here. I'm so thankful our baby is still safe inside your womb." His hands moved from your waist to the sides of your belly. Neteyam kept kissing you, but, in a softer way now. "Your baby bump feels so good in my hands." He kissed your lower lip, suckling ever so slightly on it, your lip between his upper and his bottom lip.

"Teyam. Sit me down on your lap, please." You said, a knot forming in your belly

Neteyam gave you a small dirty smile and sat on the mat. He grabbed your hand and led you to sit on his lap.

"Like this, yawntutsyìp?" He asked, looking deeply into your eyes. His big amber eyes were so enchanting, so ethereal...

"Yes, my mate."

Neteyam opened your legs slowly, his hand traveling up your thigh while he kissed you. When his hand reached your pussy, moving your panties to the side, underneath your skirt, you whimpered at his lips. "What? You like this, my love? You like the way I caress your small body? Specially when my hand touches your little pussy?" He was looking at you, eyes so hungry for your body

"You get wet so easily now that you're pregnant. And your pussy feels even tighter." Neteyam says while two of his long four fingers explored your folds slowly. You moaned, biting your bottom lip. "So tight for me." He cooed. Neteyam's thumb reached your clitoris and he started to stimulate it, rubbing circles.

"Ahnnhh... feels so good, Teyam."

"Yeah, my yawntutsyìp?" You hum in confirmation "I love your little cunt. Love this swollen belly so much. Ahhh, baby... It makes me so hard. Do you wanna touch me and feel how hard I am for you?" Neteyam asks, breathing heavily

"Yes, Teyam. Please."

☆•.°☆•.°☆

Sorry for leaving you guys hot and bothered and cutting the smut in half like this 😂 please, don't hate me 🤡😇

Your feedback is always much appreciated 🤍🤍🤍

Taglist:

@lik0

@live-laugh-neteyam

@sweetllamaparadise

@a-blog-name-2003

@cautionworks

@behindthearcane

@yeosxxx

@anxietydrogz

@destinylb

@thelxnelyworld

@ducks118

If I'm forgetting anyone now or have forgotten to tag anyone in the past chapters, please, comment below asking to be tagged. Also, anyone can ask to be tagged too 💙 ily bye

[cherriesncinnamon]

conflicted / ethan landry x fem!reader

synopsis: with ghostface mercilessly terrorising her friends, staying close is safer than splitting up. after quickly realising her apartment is no where near large enough, sleeping next to ethan landry was the only option. but hey, what's the worst that can happen when two people with intense feelings for one another share a bed?

warnings/tags: one bed trope, sexual tension, male masturbation, handjob, dry humping (kinda) loss of virginity, unprotected sex (don’t try this at home), scream vi spoilers, fem!reader.

word count: 2.0k.

a/n: ethan's a desperate little virgin bitch in this. it gets kind of emotional at the end?? don't ask i'm having a hard day😭

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

With Tara, Mindy, Chad, Anika, and Quinn sprawled out on both her couch, and the floor, and one person without a place to rest, she fretted at the realisation that she would have to sleep next to a boy. And not just any boy, Ethan Landry. The tension between them was undeniable, they were just so frightened of the obvious truth. They weren't sure if they could trust themselves to not break lying beside one another, listening to the fast paces of their breathing, unbeknownst that they had the exact same tormenting thoughts.

The only light in the room is the soft glow of city lights cutting through the blinds, an amber hue covering the walls. They're both on the brink of sleep, staring blankly at the ceiling, waiting for their bodies to give in and allow them to drift off to the subtle sounds of New York City traffic.

“What’re you thinking about?” Ethan breaks the unbearable silence, turning his head to face her, his doe brown eyes tired with fatigue. 

“Hm? Oh, nothing. I’m just scared, that’s all. But, aren’t we all?” She replies nonchalantly, pained with mental exhaustion inside. Her wounds are continuing to heal following her last ordeal with Ghostface, acting as a constant reminder of her defeat.

“Yeah, I know. You don’t need to worry, I’ll be right here if he comes back.” Ethan consoles, smiling as he speaks to her in a soothing tone that makes her heart flutter. She responds with a subtle nod, not completely reassured, because who says he will be capable of fighting off a psychotic killer with a Buck 120?

The room suddenly feels hot, and becoming overheated under the thick sheets, she uncovers herself, revealing perhaps a little too much to Ethan, her nightgown laying loosely over her skin. He tries to stop staring at her, entirely captivated by her immense beauty.

"I'm going to try and get at least a minute of sleep, okay? Night." She says, turning over to her side, hair to falling down her back. Despite the blanket they are sharing being far too small, he doesn't say a word when she blindly drags the soft sheet over her shoulder, leaving half of his body exposed.

"Okay. Goodnight." Ethan answers back, his heart racing relentlessly while inappropriate thoughts dash through his mind at a dizzying pace. He stares shamefully at her soft defined curves, tensing the muscles in his abdomen in a weak attempt to halt the growing hardness in his sweatpants.

He felt disgusted with himself, taking advantage of her sleeping for the first time in weeks with his depraved eyes, yet he did not look aware for one moment while her virtuous frame lay flawlessly. Shifting in his position, Ethan gently rocks his hips, the contact with the fabric of his boxers and his crotch temporarily relieving the ache between his thighs. Every moment she stirs, his heart stops, frightened of waking her with his improper behaviour. He's close, so dangerously close that he's unable to stop, disregarding every particle of inhibition he had left.

Although Ethan believes she's completely knocked out, she can feel his jerked movements, surprisingly unfazed. She sits up, silk hair draping over her shoulders. His breath hitches, and he swiftly places his hands over his lap, blood rushing to more places than one.

"What're you doing?" She asks, not intending to embarrass him, simply intrigued to find out what mad excuse he was going to muster. Ethan stutters, face painted with fear, and oblivious to the fact that his hands are not doing much to hide him. She stares down at him with a lustful glare, lips gently pursed.

"Do you want me to touch you, Ethan?".

"Wh-what?" Ethan's eyes widen at her language, taken aback by the carnal hum in her voice. He's now so uncomfortably hard that even her fingertips on his hand would finish him off. His desires too powerful to stop, he mumbles please, unsure if he will be able to hold himself back from the softness of her lips, and the sweetness dripping from between her legs - something he had dreamed about for so long.

Wanting to please him, she inches her hand closer and closer to the place he needs her the most. Even under the layers, she sees the sheer size of him, suddenly feeling intimidated and flushed. With initial contact, he gasps, her touch being just as heavenly as he had imagined.

"Ah, fuck." Ethan can barely form words through his heavy breaths, his speech slurring as she touches his cock underneath his clothes, throbbing and painful. He hums softly, drunk, and too intoxicated to move. Seconds before he completely lets go, his conscience kicks in, and he grabs her wrist, halting her movements.

"We can't be doing this." He exclaims, his expression pained and frustrated. She tilts her head in confusion, swiftly retracting her hand while a wave of guilt blankets over her.

"If we go any further, I'll not be able to hold back, I can't resist you. I've wanted this, I've wanted you, for so long. You'll regret doing this." Ethan reveals much to his dismay, internalising how badly he wants this, and how much anguish is going to wash over him after he pushes her away. Her cheeks quickly bleed pink, the honesty and agony in his voice pulling at her strings.

"Why would I ever regret this? Why would I ever regret you?".

Without a single word or hesitation, Ethan turns and grabs the sides of her face, staring into her glistening eyes before finally making contact with her lips. His soft kisses place her in a tranquil state, she can no longer feel the constant racing in her head, or the weight on her back. Ethan takes her by her hips, grabbing her tightly and lifting her body onto his strong thighs. She sighs into his mouth in relief, sinking down onto his lap. He sucks gently at the supple skin on her neck, wrapping his arms around her sacred frame, bringing her as close to him as humanly possible.

As the pressure builds, she starts to grind herself against Ethan's hardness, to his instantaneous satisfaction. His eyes roll to the back of his head, and he picks up the pace by grabbing her waist tight enough to leave purple marks where he once was. The lack of direct contact only fuels them more, the tension becoming insufferable to the point of insanity.

"Can I?" Ethan asks through rugged panting, tugging at the band of her panties underneath her nightgown. She nods in desperation, kicking them off and onto the hardwood flooring. Eagerly, he dips his fingers into the pool between her legs, deliberately taking time on her clit, causing her head to tilt to the sky.

"Does that feel good?" He questions, genuinely distrustful of his abilities. She's able to mumble a mhm mhm through uncontrollable breathing, the flutters in her pelvis growing by the minute. Seconds before the cord within her snaps, she removes his hand.

"Do you want to feel me?" She questions, knowing the answer, but determined to hear the words sprinkle off of his tongue like sugar.

"Yes, let me be inside you. Please." Ethan begs, grinding his hips against her pussy to relieve himself at the thought. Once his boxers are sitting just at his thighs, his cock springs out, hitting his lower stomach, tip lubricated with erotism. Her wetness only grew at the sight of him, veins spiralling around his length, throbbing and tense. Teasing him to the point of anger, she takes his cock and slides him her folds, playing with his soft curls as she does. He grunts animalistically, unable to hold himself any longer in her enchanting hands. Waves of bliss rode through his entire body, and never having experienced such feelings before, he speaks his truth.

"Wait. I haven't done this before."

"Neither have I." She admits back, a little laugh slipping out when she says it. The situation itself was not funny, it's the fact that the both of them were complete frauds, pretending they had even a tiny idea of what they were doing. Being untouched was purely a choice for her, men threw themselves at her like wild animals, but she had her eyes on one person, and one person only. For him, he was invisible to women, which never really bothered him either way, he wanted her, and solely her.

Looking up at her in veneration, chest heaving with nervousness, Ethan grips the base of his cock, his free hand holding the flesh at her hips. Anticipation consuming them, she slowly lowers herself onto him, fire spreading through her body as he stretches her walls. She stifles her whines of half pain, half pleasure, and observes his face grimace.

"Fuck, you feel so..." He can barely express himself, tightening his grasp on her hips to deepen himself into her slick cunt. Resting his head on her headboard, Ethan shuts his eyes while she begins to ride him, placing her hands on his shoulders for support. Leaning towards her, he peppers kisses on her partially exposed chest, eager to massage her tits with his palm. Still adjusting to his cock, she deliberately slowed down, wanting to lengthen the exhilaration. Inside of her, he thrusts his pelvis into her, hip bones hitting off of her inner thighs, hungry for a release. Little whines and moans slip from her lips, and Ethan smiles at her in gratification, reaching his fingertips down to her bundle of nerves, drawing circles that only intensify the searing pressure at her core.

"You're gonna make me cum. Fuck." Ethan groans, dragging out the last syllables of his words. The noise level rises more and more, and although they are both conscious of their sleeping friends in the next room, they’re too disorientated to truly care. He takes a moment to admire the deity in front of him, appreciating the sweet whimpers, soft pink lips, starry gaze, and the wonders she’s doing to him. Quickening the pace, she kisses him, feeling his pretty smile against her lips, her high hastily approaching.

"You make me feel so good." She teases, raking her fingers through his hair, too overwhelmed to say another word. And with that slice of praise, Ethan shows that he can't hold himself a second longer, length pulsating inside of her pussy. She takes initiative to stroke his naval, raising the goosebumps on his skin, evoking the reaction she had hoped she’d see. Loosening his grip on her waist, he finishes a moaning grunting mess, his cum painting the inside of her. Her walls tightened around him, the built up pressure they both had suffered with finally breaking free. He places his hand over her mouth to muffle the screams, trying his hardest to cover his own, to little avail.

"Shit, shit, fuck. I'm sorry." Ethan apologises in breathlessness, watching in angst at his arousal dripping out of her, and down to the base of his cock. She laughs at his worry, forgetting herself that it probably wasn't the best idea to go without protection. Ah, fuck it, she thinks, coming down from her climax.

After slipping her panties back on, she throws herself onto the mattress. She turns her head to him, faces blushed red, and needs fulfilled. He sits up next to her, eyes half closed after an indescribable high left him worn out. Ethan places a single, prolonged kiss on her lips, before laying back into the sheets.

"I will keep you safe, you know? I'll not let anything bad happen to you." He says, staring up at the ceiling, guilt ridden. Pretending to be just as scared, traumatised, and hurt as her was unbearable, but it was the better option, compared to admitting the truth ; that he was a cold blooded murderer.

"I know." She smiles, not having a single shadow of doubt in her mind. He embraces her, pulling her body close to his, conflicted by two different sides of his psyche. One side is willing to do anything to protect her, and the people she loves. The other side is willing to do anything to make his father proud. He's filled with apprehension, fearful of the day he will have to make that decision. For now, he rests his head on hers, holding her close as she drifts off under the moonlight.

[sicknessbysalem]

Novemetober (Rescheduled) | Day Sixteen

prompt: waking up puking

hi yes sorry i died for a week. things were rough.

i swear i have other ocs. but something about making novak puke his pretty little guts out makes me happy inside. and i felt like that was a better thing to come back and write.

@monthofsick

if you have any questions, comments, or requests, feel free to send them.

tw emeto, fever, exhaustion, seizure mention (but no actual seizures this time)

Novak stood on the sidelines of the football field, observing the players as they ran through defensive drills. As the defensive coach for the Mavericks, he felt a sense of responsibility to ensure the team was performing at their best. Whether it was the defensive line, the offensive line, or even himself. Novak wanted everyone to perform at their best, even in practice.

For himself, he was desperate to perform at the top of his game, even though he was sidelined. He had to do well. He needed to prove that it wasn't a waste to move him to the coaching position that was open when he couldn't play anymore, not safely anyway. And usually, Novak was good at what he did. He was tough, but not relentless. He was determined for his team to do the best they could do, even in practice, and would hardly accept anything else.

But today, he felt like he was failing them. Novak couldn't shake off the feeling of exhaustion that seemed to weigh him down with each passing minute.

The sun beat down relentlessly on the field, intensifying the heat and adding to Novak's discomfort. Despite the temperature, he felt a chill run through his body, accompanied by a persistent ache in his muscles. Novak rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate the throbbing headache that had been plaguing him all morning.

As the practice continued, Novak found it increasingly difficult to focus on the drills. His movements felt sluggish, and he struggled to keep up with the fast pace of the players. Every step seemed to take more effort than usual, and he couldn't shake off the feeling of fatigue that weighed heavily on him.

Still, Novak pushed through, determined not to let his team down. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to keep moving, ignoring the protests of his tired body. He couldn't afford to show any weakness, especially not in front of his players. He didn't even know why he felt so... bad. Yuliya had been sick, he took care of her. But surely, Novak told himself, that wasn't what caused that. It couldn't be. Not right now.

He checked his watch briefly. His heart rate looked fine. He didn't feel like he was really at risk for a seizure, so at least that was good. He sighed to himself, before going back to his clipboard and resuming his duties, taking off his sweatshirt in hopes to make himself feel at least a little better.

As practice dragged on, Novak's condition only seemed to worsen. The pounding in his head grew more intense, and a wave of nausea swept over him. He staggered slightly, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

Despite his best efforts to hide his discomfort, one of his assistant coaches noticed Novak's struggle.

"Hey, Novak, you alright?" Kyle asked, concern evident in his voice.

Novak forced a tight-lipped smile. "Yeah, just a little tired. My girlfriend, she was sick over the weekend. SO I'm just a little worn out. Nothing to worry about."

But Kyle wasn't convinced. "You don't look so good. Maybe you should take a break, get some water or something."

Novak shook his head. "I'm fine, really. I'll tough it out."

With a shrug, Kyle reluctantly backed off, but Novak could tell that his condition hadn't gone unnoticed. He cursed himself for not being able to hide it better. The last thing he wanted, especially after the incident in July, was for anyone to be paying extra close attention to him. Even for a short time.

As practice continued, Novak struggled to keep his focus, his vision blurring at the edges. Each passing minute felt like an eternity, and he counted down the clock until he could go home and crash. Maybe that was all he needed, an early night and he would be fine in the morning.

-

Novak had hardly stepped in the door when his mom came out. She immediately noticed the fatigue etched on his face and the weariness in his eyes, he could see her worry on her face. The thought made him feel guilty.

"Novak, you don't look well," Marina said, her voice filled with worry.

Novak forced a smile. "I'm just tired, Mom. Yuliya was sick over the weekend, you know... I took care of her. And took care of Elya. I'll probably just go to bed early tonight."

Marina studied him for a moment, unconvinced by his explanation. She knew her son well enough to sense when something was off, and today, Novak seemed more than just tired.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Marina pressed, placing her hand on his shoulder, "Do I need to call Willow?"

"I'm not going to have..." Novak couldn't make himself finish the sentence, "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Alright, słoneczko," Marina said, trying to hide her concern. "Why don't you sit down and rest? I'll make us some tea."

Novak nodded gratefully, sinking onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Marina disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Novak alone with his thoughts, trying to piece together why exactly he felt so fucking exhausted. He was tired, but it was more than that. Something told him it was much more than that.

Before he knew it, Novak's eyelids grew heavy, and he succumbed to the irresistible pull of sleep. Unaware of his own actions, he drifted off into a restless slumber, his body craving the rest it so desperately needed.

-

Yuliya's hands running through his hair are somehow incredibly comforting and makes his skin crawl at the same time.

He opened his eyes, staring at the living room ceiling. His head was pounding, the living room lights made him cringe and close his eyes again.

"You're sweating..." Yulia said, he heard the sound her her rubbing her hands on her leggings, "Do you feel okay?"

Novak mustered a weak nod in response to Yuliya's question, though he knew it was far from the truth. His body felt like it was on fire, and each movement sent waves of nausea rippling through him. Novak struggled to form a coherent response, his mind fogged by fatigue and the relentless throbbing in his head. He managed a weak nod, though he knew it wasn't entirely truthful.

"Just tired," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just need some rest."

Yuliya's brows furrowed with concern as she observed Novak's pale complexion and the sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead. She reached out to touch his cheek, her hand coming away warm and clammy.

"You're burning up," she said softly, her worry palpable in her voice. "I think you might have a fever."

Novak's stomach churned uneasily at her words, a wave of nausea washing over him. He swallowed hard, trying to push back the rising tide of sickness threatening to overwhelm him.

"I'll be fine," he insisted, though the tremor in his voice betrayed his uncertainty.

Yuliya's expression softened with understanding as she gazed at Novak with unwavering concern.

"Let's get you to bed," she said gently, offering him a reassuring smile. "You need to rest."

"I have to get Elya from-"

"Your mom took care of it," Yuliya said, "She's worried. Come on, lets get you in bed..."

Yuliya helped Novak to his feet, supporting him as they made their way to the bedroom. Novak's legs felt like lead, each step a struggle against the mounting exhaustion and dizziness.

Once they reached the bed, Novak sank down onto the mattress with a weary sigh, his body feeling heavier than usual. Novak laid on top of his sheets. He felt entiely uncomfortable, and though he felt slightly cold, he was sure the added feeling of sheets on his skin would send him into an overstimulated spiral.

Yuliya sat beside him, gently brushing her fingers through his hair, carefully detangling the ash blond locks that grew tangled from how wet they were from sweat.

"Do you want to change?" Yuliya asked.

Novak thought about it. And he thought about not changing. Just dealing with it. But, he figured he would probably be more comfortable. So, he nodded, forcing himself to his feet and grabbing a change of clothes. Yuliya looked away, occupying herself by picking things up off the floor. Her clothes, his clothes, she tossed them in the bin.

"I'll probably wash these when you fall asleep, okay?" Yuliya said.

Standing made Novak dizzy, he grabbed his dresser as he pulled on some comfortable clothes. He almost didn't answer, his brain not cooperating.

"You don't have to," Novak said, laying back down.

Yuliya sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing Novak's shoulder. Yuliya was the only exception in terms of his touch aversion. At least, to a degree.

"Try to get some sleep," she said softly, brushing a strand of hair away from Novak's clammy forehead. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

Novak nodded weakly, his eyelids already drooping with fatigue. He closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would offer some relief from the relentless ache in his head and the queasiness in his stomach.

Despite the exhaustion, Novak drifted in and out of consciousness. Each time he surfaced from the depths of sleep, Novak found himself enveloped in a fog of disorientation and confusion. His head throbbed with an intensity that seemed to reverberate through every fiber of his being, pulsing with each beat of his feverish heart.

His room is dark when he finally managed to pry his heavy eyelids open, the world swam in a dizzying haze before him. The room spun around him, tilting and swaying with each movement, leaving him feeling nauseous and unsteady, even as he laid down. He felt the weight of Yuliya behind him, her hand resting on the side of his head, as if she dozed off while lightly scratching the side and back of his head with her nails, as she always did. It was comforting, it made him feel better. Usually.

Now her hand just rested there, a surprinsingly comfortable pressure he could focus on that wasn't the nausea, wasn't the headache.

His stomach churned with a queasy unease, threatening to rebel against him at any moment. Novak clenched his jaw tightly, willing himself to hold back the waves of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Despite his best efforts, he could feel the telltale signs of impending sickness clawing at the back of his throat, a bitter taste flooding his mouth with each ragged breath he took.

Novak's limbs felt heavy and leaden, as if weighed down by an invisible force that sapped him of his strength and vitality. He longed to rise from the suffocating confines of his bed, to escape the oppressive grasp of illness that held him captive.

But try as he might, he found himself trapped in a state of being unable to muster the energy to move. He tasted saliva in his mouth, swallowing hard and shuddering against it.

The slight shudder must have woke Yuliya. He heard her behind him, heard her hum softly and sit up, reaching over him to turn on his lamp on his nightstand, Yuliya's concern deepened as she watched Novak struggle, his pale complexion contrasting starkly against the rumpled sheets of the bed. She could see the distress etched into the lines of his furrowed brow, the faint sheen of sweat glistening on his clammy skin.

"Novak, are you alright?" Yuliya's voice was laced with worry, her hand brushing over the side of his face, pushing back sweaty hair. He glanced at his watch, his phone was sitting on the nightstand. At least it wasn't that... she figured.

Novak couldn't even bring himself to shake his head at first. His throat constricted with the effort of holding back the rising tide of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Every slight movement sent a fresh wave of dizziness crashing over him, leaving him feeling light-headed and disoriented.

He tried to will himself to move, to push past the suffocating weight that pressed down on him from all sides. He needed to get up, to run to the bathroom, or to his desk, where his trash can was. Something, anything. But his limbs felt leaden and unresponsive, as if anchored to the mattress by invisible chains that refused to loosen their grip.

As the minutes ticked by, Novak's resolve began to waver, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps as the relentless onslaught of sickness tightened its grip around him.

"Novak.. Novak hey," Yuliya said, "What's wrong?"

Desperation clawed at his chest as he struggled to keep the roiling contents of his stomach at bay, his muscles tensed with the effort of holding back what he tried not to imagine was the remains of lunch and breakfast, and maybe dinner from the day before. He could finally move, briefly, only enough to cover his mouth with his hand.

"Shit," Yuliya said, starting to go to get up and grab something.

Novak shook his head. He needed to move, he tried to move. But he couldn't. That was when the panic started to set in.

Maybe he could just... breathe. Maybe he could settle his own stomach. Maybe, maybe.

But despite his best efforts, Novak could feel the telltale churn of his stomach intensifying with each passing second, a grim reminder of his body's relentless betrayal in the face of illness.

As soon as Yuliya set down the trash can, then he could move. He moved just enough to grab the bin. It was milliseconds vefore he started heaving, his body trying to purge whatever dared make him feel so disgusting.

Yuliya watched with a mixture of concern and helplessness as Novak's body convulsed with each violent heave, his features contorted in agony as he struggled to expel the contents of his roiling stomach.

She moved closer, her hand hovering uncertainly over his trembling form, wanting desperately to offer comfort but unsure of how to help.

"Easy, Novak," she murmured, her voice soft and soothing. "Just let it out. You'll feel better once it's all out of your system."

Novak could only nod weakly in response, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he rode out the storm of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. He clung to the trash can with a white-knuckled grip, his knuckles turning pale with the effort of holding on.

With each retch and gag, Novak felt a small measure of relief wash over him. Each wave of sick made his stomach feel less tense and full.

At one point, Novak stopped briefly to take a breath. His body giving him a split second relief. But when the nausea kicked back up again, this time Novak knew he coulf make it to the bathroom. And make it to the bathroom he did.

He bolted, abandoning the trash bin, knowing there was more in his system. Sure enough, as soon as he was on his knees if front of the toilet he was vomiting again.

Yulia sat it the doorway. Wincing as Novak retched up more and more waves of sludge from his stomach. Waves of gods knew what. Yuliya moved a little closer.

Yuliya reached out a gentle hand to brush the sweat-dampened hair from Novak's forehead, her touch comforting.

Novak continued to heave for what felt like an eternity. But finally, finally he was left gasping, trying to catch his breath.

He looked at Yuliya, who offered a small smile.

“It’s gonna be a long night, my love…” Yuliya said softly. “But, I’ll be right here.”

[cbk1000]

And part three. (Final part; sorry this is so long: it has been a fucking long four months.)

No problem, Doctor Dipshit, I guess I'll just do your job and continue treating myself.

After my period ends, my heart rate drops again. It's still not as low as it should be, but it's much better. I continue to gradually improve. It's not a linear process; some days are better than others, but I never feel as bad as I did at the beginning of all this. My main issue is really my heart rate at this point; I'm no longer dizzy, I don't have the extreme weakness I had, my nausea is gone, I'm sleeping much better, and I'm a lot less tired than I was even before all this started. But the high heart rate keeps me still mostly bedbound, and I'm gnashing my teeth, because at this point I feel well enough to be mad about it, instead of just lying in bed trying to stave off death.

I finally start turning a corner, almost three months into taking supplements. My heart rate is consistently lower; even my last period wasn't as rough. (I felt a little worse than I had been, but my heart rate didn't spike, and I mostly just felt more run down than I normally would during my period.)

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been able to sit and stand and walk around for much longer, and I was finally, after months, able to start writing again. My heart rate is still a bit higher than it should be, and I have chest pain and tightness that radiates into my throat (it almost feels like an asthma attack) if I exert myself too much, but I can sit up for a good couple, few hours at a time, then lie down for a few minutes till those symptoms improve, and then get back up again. It is more exhausting to do things because of this, but I still, honestly, feel less tired than when I was a fully functioning, 'normal' person, and I've noticed that the horrible, frequent anxiety attacks I was having multiple times a week, out of nowhere, with no trigger, haven't happened since I started supplementing. I have been stressed, of course, but not baselessly anxious. Apparently iron deficiency can cause or worsen anxiety, so the anxiety I was having for the last couple of years that I attributed to all the changes at work, and how generally stressful the world has been, was also likely related to this.

Today, three and a half months after starting iron supplements, I'm writing this sitting up at my computer. I have some chest pain, but right now it's more of an annoyance than anything, and I can push through for a while before I'll need to lie down for a bit. The last week I have been able to write 27,000 words, animatedly play a video game I'm into at the moment (I shout a lot when I play), take Seamus outside multiple times a day while Mr. Jenn is at work (albeit for very short walks around the backyard, but still), edit, and concentrate on my reading. I can now sit out and eat dinner at our countertop and visit with Mr. Jenn. I spend more time up now than I do in bed. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment with a non-lunatic, and will hopefully be able to get medical clearance to finally return to work (Mr. Jenn and I have rigged up my desk so that I can recline and still see my monitors and work if I need more than my allotted breaks to rest) and an order for an iron infusion to get me the rest of the way more quickly. It has been the longest four months of my life. I have felt trapped in my own body. There were points during that constant back and forth of regressing a bit, improving a bit, regressing a bit, that I was afraid I would be stuck like that forever. I've had enough of consistently being on my feet day after day over the last few weeks that, while I'm not yet at 100% and know it will still probably be a while before I am, I know I will be, eventually. I actually feel confident in that now.

What I mean to say with these three very long-winded posts is, please do not ignore what your body is telling you. I wrote off the extreme fatigue, and anxiety, and burning and tingling I was feeling in my legs and feet as poor sleep, the world going to shit, muscle strain, etc. etc. That was my body trying to tell me something was really wrong. I did not know these were symptoms of iron deficiency; and not everyone gets them, and not everyone gets such severe symptoms that their entire body shuts down and confines them to bed for months: but there was something wrong with me, probably for years, and I ignored that, and wrote it off, because the symptoms were non-specific, and I'd lived with them for so long that I normalized them. If you are having any of these symptoms, especially fatigue, especially if you're menstruating, and especially especially if most of your iron sources aren't from meat, please get an iron panel done. Not your CBC; that will only tell you if your hemoglobin is ok, and I can tell you, as exhibit A, that just because your hemoglobin is normal, does not mean you don't have iron deficiency. B12 deficiency will cause some of these same symptoms as well, so if you're vegetarian, definitely get that checked as well.

The only reason I was able to put two and two together was because I had had similar cardiac issues after a blood donation, when it was easy to go, "Wait, I think you bled too much; let's put some iron back in you." I don't want to think about how long I might have been stuck like this getting booted from specialist to specialist with no one thinking to check my iron levels because my hemoglobin was normal. If you do not have enough of this one single mineral in your body, it can literally be debilitating. I work a desk job from home; I have been out of work for four months now because I haven't even been able to sit up at a desk. I actually ran out of legally-protected medical leave a month ago and am just lucky that my employer wants to keep me enough that they were willing to put me on personal leave until I was ready to come back.

Anyway, that is my extremely long update. I sincerely appreciate everyone who has checked in on me and asked how I'm doing.

[xx0yeet-everything0xx]

going to quickly self-advertise my jercy fic: in which, instead of percy and annabeth, JASON and PERCY fall into tartarus!! woohoooo (below is an excerpt of the middle of the first chapter hehe)

· · ·

[jason] took hold of the winds bringing them closer to tartarus— as if they were puppet strings— and, with all he had in him, he pulled. as if his body was simulating his powers on a physical level, he felt himself pull the rope too, with a strength he didn't know he had. percy, annabeth, and nico were propelled far away from the range of the ledge they were at, crumbling on the floor behind him. hazel too went backwards, her back slamming into the wall. the wind didn't really affect jason: he didn't move.

although the adrenaline hadn't quite faded from him, the mix of relief and exhaustion hit him, and he let out a few tired swear-words. "annabeth!" hazel yelled and ran ahead to her, hugging the fatigued and stricken girl tight. in the gesture, they both took a step closer to the edge and jason winced.

"please," he croaked. "back off from the chasm, guys." he wanted to sigh but found it unnervingly difficult to take a proper breath. all eyes turned to him, but no one argued. the side of nico's head was bleeding from that crash against the ledge and he stumbled once when walking but pointedly denied percy's help. the other boy helped anyway. hazel steadied annabeth, still holding her in a half-hug and saying something to her as they walked towards the ship.

they were all quite far behind him, away from the ledge, when he felt the force that had tried to drag them down come again, but he was ready for it. he kept a strong hold of the winds, although the effort was making him dizzy and weak. "hurry," he said to the rest of them, but his voice came out so ragged he wondered if they could hear him properly. "the ground's unstable."

percy looked at him for a moment too long. a frown creased his eyebrows. "you hurry as well, man."

he wanted to smile but could only manage a weirdly twisted expression instead. "i can fly," he said. but, in the state he was, he knew that he sure as fuck could not. annabeth had boarded the ship first; she collapsed on the spot. hazel was climbing up the ladder, and nico was behind her. he watched with a spectator's dull stare, then remembered that he needed to move as well.

right then, jason realised how close he was to the pit. how had he even gotten there? he hadn't moved at all. yet there was the gateway to tartarus, hardly a metre besides him. he blinked. the pull coming from it had disappeared. just as well, because he was completely drained. even if it were a matter of life and death, he doubted he could even summon sparks.

its a trap, his rational would've known. but he was starting to see things in a blur, and all he could think was that he had to stand straight.

he took a step forward and swayed. he felt lightheaded. looking up, he saw percy's face: he was saying something, along the lines of, "are you okay?"

then he felt something pull him backwards. percy wasn't pulled though, and jason vaguely wondered whether it was a certain vengeance reserved for him. he didn't even try to fight it— he couldn't, really. his vision had turned grainy, like a spoilt television screen with coloured images just breaking through.

he was saying something. what was he saying? he felt his lips moving to form the same words again and again. later, he would learn that he was saying, "stay away. i'm alright."

tartarus didn't even need to drag him into the pit: jason did that for him. his balance and energy finally gave up, and he fell.

· · · read it from the start on ao3!! · · ·

and if u do read it comments would be appreciated ty 🥹👀👀

[crystalsnow95z]

Hobi was watching Taehyungs return from Mexico Airplane video and noticed how he tried to cover from head to toe. He messaged to ask if he was okay and Taehyung replied he was going to the hospital because he felt really weak and didn't feel well at all.

Hobi is too worried about his baby brother and has to go see him. The difference in weather really got to Taehyung. He got a bad cough and a fever. All he wants to do is sleep but his coughing won't let him so he's whiny and cuddly.

Interesting I've never did a story with a set timelines I just let the reader decide. I'll accept the challenge. A bit of truth mixed with fiction. This was actually a struggle to write and much shorter than intended.. I hope you like it at least!

Taehyung hears his phone ringing, digging his phone out of his bag to notice it was a video call. "Hobi-hyung, I guess you saw that I landed." His voice is soft with fatigue, feeling jet legged from the long flight.

"I wanted to see if you were okay. You looked exhausted, even with you trying to hide your face. Are you feeling okay?" J-hope worries over his dongsaeng. "Your face looks pale.."

Taehyung rests his head against the window."I don't feel right.. I know it's normal to feel tired after a long flight, but this feels different.. I couldn't even bow because I felt so dizzy.." Taehyung tries to cover up a yawn, pressing his lips tightly together, his cheeks puffing out.

"You should see a doctor." J-hope suggests. "Please go see one for me, I'm worried about you."

"Alright, I'll go, hyung.."

"Good..Tell me when you get home, okay? I hope you feel better soon. Hopefully, it's just from the different weather. I love you, bro."

"I will hyung..I love you too.."

Taehyung finally makes it home, plopping down on his bed. After two IVs, he felt a little better, yet the sick feeling wasn't going away and to make matters worse, between the time of landing and going back home, a persistent cough formed. I need to get better before tomorrow.. I'm not going to miss sending Seokjin-hyung off after rushing to get here.. Taehyung pulled out his phone, keeping his word to call J-hope when he arrived.

"What did the doctor say?" J-hope asks.

"I'll be okay after i rest.." Taehyung replied softly, pulling the phone away to cough.

"You still don't sound so good..maybe I should come over there to take care of you.."

"No, I'm okay.. really.. it's just a cold.."Taehyung tries his best for his voice to stay steady, but the end breaks off into another cough.

"I'm going over there. Do you have any medicine?" J-hope asks.

"No, but I can get some on my own. Haven't you been busy lately on your new song?"

"It doesn't matter how busy I've been.. I can't leave my little brother suffering on his own. Don't worry about me. I'll be there soon just try to rest."

"Okay, Hyung.. thank you.. I love you." Taehyung was relieved he didn't have to suffer alone. He curled up on the couch under a throw blanket, coughing into his closed fist. All this coughing is giving me a headache.. He tried to fall asleep, but his body wouldn't let him between the coughs and not making up his mind if he felt hot or cold.

As soon as he heard a knock on the door, he rushed to see who it was, opening it after confirming it was indeed J-hope. He pulls him inside and hugs him. "I missed you."

"Tete, I missed you too." J-hope smiles, wrapping his arms around his dongsaeng, then let's out a small gasp in surprise."You're sweating so much, Taehyungie.."

"Sorry, hyung.." Taehyung lets him go, trying to sniffle softly.

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant your house is cold, but you're sweating. I think you have a fever.." J-hope says worriedly.

"A fever? No.. no I can't have a fever.. Seokjin-hyung is leaving tomorrow.." Taehyung's eyes grow wide with fear. "I need to see him off, I even rushed my flight.."

"Tete, hey, you need to stay calm. We'll do what we can to get you better before then. As long as you dress warm and keep the face mask on, you can still go as long as you don't get worse.. Don't worry about it, okay?" J-hope hugs Taehyung close, rubbing his back. "You won't miss it because I'm here to take care of you." Taehyung squeezes him, coughing into J-hope's shoulder, trying to muffle the sound.

"Let's get you to bed, okay?" J-hope tries to avoid eye contact with Taehyung as he leads him back to the room. Did he get worse since the first time he called me? He wasn't coughing. I hope I didn't get his hopes up too high..

Taehyung lets J-hope lead him through his home, leaning his head on his shoulder as they walked.i feel dizzy again.. Taehyung held onto J-hope's arm, trying to ensure his feet wouldn't fall from under him.

"It's been a while since I've been to your place."J-hope says as he picks up Taehyung's tissue holder to take with him, taking a tissue and wiping the drip of snot that came from Taehyung's nose. That's when he noticed how unfocused Taehyung's eyes were, dilating to be just large black discs.

"Hyung I..." Taehyung's voice gets cut off by another fit of coughs, almost falling forward if it wasn't for J-hope putting his arm out to brace his fall, helping him move to sit on the floor.

Taehyung lays his head on J-hope's knee, waiting for the vertigo to pass. J-hope just strokes his hand through Taehyung's sweaty hair. "My poor baby, you really aren't doing well. We need to get you in bed..."J-hope gently moves Taehyung's head off his knee, gently lifting him up.

"I can walk.." Taehyung says softly.

"I want to carry you, and it'll only take a minute. Let hyung take care of you." J-hope leans to kiss Taehyung on his temple, carrying him to his bed and easing him onto it. "Stay here and rest. I'm going to go to the store, okay? I'll go as quickly as I can."

"Can you lay with me for a little bit first? At least until I don't feel as nauseous.." Taehyung uses the cutest tone he could manage with his throat being in such a bad condition.

"Alright, but just for a little bit. The faster you take meditation, the faster you'll get better." J-hope lays on the bed, laying his head on Taehyung's chest, softly rubbing Taehyung's belly.

Taehyung starts to relax, but before he could fall into a deep sleep, the persistent cough returned, him quickly covering his face with his arm to avoid coughing on J-hope.

J-hope could hear Taehyung's heart racing faster as he struggled to breathe, sitting up to help Taehyung. He helped the younger member sit up, rubbing his neck to try to give him some comfort through the pain. "I need to get you medicine.."

"Don't go.. I'm sorry.." Taehyung says through the coughs.

"I have to go. It sounds like you're getting worse. Taehyung I'm just worried about you. It's not your fault so don't be sorry.." J-hope hugs Taehyung close. "You didn't do anything wrong so don't apologize okay?"

"Don't leave too long.." Taehyung holds J-hope tight before letting go, knowing he can't hold him there forever."Can you lay with me again when you come back?'

"Of course. Anything you want, just try to sleep, okay?" J-hope covers Taehyung up with the blanket. "Do you want anything special from the store? I could buy you some ramen."

Taehyung shakes his head slightly. "I'm not hungry. I just want something warm to drink.."

"Okay, Tae. I'll bring you some hot cocoa. Does that sound good?"

Taehyung nods. "Hurry back.." He whines softly.

J-hope smiles. "Okay, I will. Go to sleep until then.." He finds Taehyung's keys so he could let himself in so he didn't have no knock and wake him up if he fell asleep, but this action wasn't needed. Taehyung could hardly even relax let alone fall asleep.

I'm so tired, but my throat hurts so much and my head is pounding. How could i be getting worse this quickly...Taehyung tried to obey his hyung's order, but each time he started to drift off, the coughing started up again. He swore in frustration, giving up on sleeping, going into the kitchen for some warm water, and adding salt, gurgling it to try to loosen the mucus to ease some of the pain.

When he tries, a cough interrupts him, the water dripping down his chin onto the floor. He accidentally swallows the rest, choking on it. Fu*k.. that hurts.. I can't catch my breath..

"Taehyung-ah are you okay?" J-hope rushes inside, running up to Taehyung.

Taehyung nods even though the coughing didn't stop, sliding down the cabinet to be able to sit, not trusting his knees to hold him.

J-hope rubs Taehyung's back until the coughing stops, then starts digging through the bags he brought, taking out some medicine and pouring it for his sick dongsaeng. "Here Tete.."

Taehyung takes it gratefully, taking it like a shot, making a face at the bitter taste. "I couldn't fall asleep..I'm sorry.."

"That's okay Taehyungie, the medicine should help you sleep. Let's get you a new shirt and back into bed.." J-hope hands him the cocoa he brought him to help wash it down.

Taehyung took a drink of the cocoa, looking down at his shirt. He didn't realize how much water he spat onto himself from his home cure method. "Okay.."

J-hope keeps an arm around Taehyung as they walk, not wanting any chance of him falling again, leading him to the bed and pulling the shirt off of the young vocalist. "I'll find you a new one, you stay put." J-hope goes into Taehyung's closet, choosing a thin t-shirt.

Taehyung takes a few more sips of his cocoa, the warmth soothing his throat enough to stop the feeling of having to cough, starting to drift off.

"Woah Taehyungah, don't fall asleep holding hot liquid.." J-hope takes the cup from him, setting it on the table. "You can sleep in a minute.."

"I'm sorry.." Taehyung says sleepily as J-hope helps him put his arms through.

"It's okay.. You're so apologetic today.. You're going to kill me with your cuteness."J-hope says soothingly, gently putting Taehyung in a laying position and covering him up.

"Will you hold me while I sleep?" Taehyung looks up at him with big, sleepy eyes.

"Hang on.. there's one more thing I need to help you." J-hope quickly leaves the room before Taehyung can stop him, going in the shopping bag to get a cooling cloth to try to bring down his fever.

"Hobi-hyung...!" Taehyung calls for him hoarsely.

"I'm coming, I'm coming.."J-hope runs back into the room, taking the cloth and gently placing it on Taehyung.

"It's cold.."Taehyung shivers. "Come keep me warm.."

"Cute.. You are such a child when you're sick.." J-hope smiles, going behind Taehyung and getting under the covers, throwing his leg cover him and tucking his arm under his neck, resting his hand on Taehyung's chest. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes..." Taehyung replies in a soft, sleepy tone.

"Good.. I love you Tae. Rest well." J-hope lays his head on Taehyung's shoulder.

"I love you too.."

J-hope could feel Taehyung start to relax against him as he finally starts to fall asleep, only small coughs escaping. "My poor Tete.. Get better soon.."

[cam-ryt]

🤒 for drabbles ask :)

🤒 Needing to be looked after

____________________

- Magnus, please. Alec sighs for the hundredth time. You have to take a break. Eat something, drink water.

- I'm okay Alexander. The warlock replies stubbornly even though he really doesn't look okay.

His complexion is pale, almost yellowish, his beautiful eyes reddened and dry and his body is hot. Too hot Alec thinks while pressing a hand on his forehead.

- Don't force me to put you in bed. You obviously have a fever.

Which is odd because warlocks never get ill. That's why Alec is particularly worried.

Magnus tries to suppress a shiver that runs through his spine and fails pathetically. His entire body aches but he has to stay awake a little bit more to finish the complex bottle he's making for one of his client. An important client willing to pay a lot of precious gems.

- You wouldn't dare. He says, voluntarily avoiding his husband's eyes because Alec would be very likely to take that as a challenge.

- You think ?

Fuck.

- Alexander... He starts to plead, but gasps instead as the nephilim leans forward and puts his hands under his knees and behind his back to lift him up against him as if he weighed nothing.

- You're not reasonable. If I have to put you in bed like a kid and make sure you stay there until you're better, I'll do it. Alec says, severe consul voice activated.

Then he drops him gently on the mattress and proceeds to strip him from his wet shirt, glued by sweat to his skin.

Magnus just stares, feeling a little dizzy. His thoughts are not so clear anymore and he feels a sudden wave of fatigue fall over him.

Alec disappears a few minutes in the bathroom and comes back with a bowl of fresh water and a towel.

He sits next to him and starts to gently weep the sweat out of his face, neck and upper body until Magnus is clean and dry.

Then he takes one of his oversized old T-shirt that he knows his husband likes from the closet and helps him put it on. Magnus immediately snuggles in it and burries his nose in the collar to smell his scent.

- There. He says before leaning to place a soft kiss on his forehead. I'm gonna make you tea and then you're gonna nap for the rest of the day while I call Catarina. No complaints.

Magnus closes his mouth and tilts his head, feeling so exhausted anyway.

- 'Kay...

- Okay. Alec smiles and stands up to leave the room.

- Alexander...?

Magnus' weak voice makes him turn around.

- Yeah, baby ?

- Thank you for taking care of me. The warlock says with a small smile. I know I'm the worst patient.

Alec snorts.

- You are. But I love you anyway.

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

Seeing some other users pop up who also have pots, and reading their past and current struggles has inspired me to write a little about my experience. (From what I remember anyway.)

Just in case, tw/cw pregnancy loss is mentioned.

My symptoms started right smack at 13. I had always been slightly heat sensitive but not enough to really think about it. Then I turned 13 and it was like I was burning constantly. But also, even when I was hot, my extremities would still sometimes be ice cold.

I fainted in the shower, daily. I almost always felt it coming beforehand. The sudden dizziness and weakness. It was my normal routine to feel that, lie down, black out, wake up, then resume my shower. (Usually 5-15 minute black outs)

I knew something was wrong, but I was a young teen. My thoughts were "too scared to address it" and "I'm just being a baby" and "What doctor is gonna believe a teenager these days". So I suffered through it.

It was horrible. My teen years were riddled with unnoticed tachycardic episodes brushed off as "you're out of shape" and "just push past it". Meanwhile i felt like i was dying.

I know teenagers biologically need more rest, but i was chronically fatigued and of course, "lazy teenager" label got thrown at me constantly. I tried to stay active, productive, but it got harder and harder. (Not knowing I also struggled bcuz of audhd but that subject is touched on in a previous post.)

When I really branched out into life and into the workplace at 18/19, it hit me that this wasn't going away. This wasn't a weird teenage thing i was experiencing.

I could work, but was significantly more exhausted than my coworkers and the only one ever to stop a lot, Cool down, rest. Drove managers nuts because "you're too young to be this way" was said to me constantly.

Through a few job changes in my early twenties it got harder and harder to work. Exhaustion. Overheating. Tachycardia. I fainted at work idk how many times during a really bad streak.

On top of pots brain fog, I'm audhd (which i didnt know until mid-late twenties) so my brain just doesn't brain for me and all I had going for me were labor jobs. That's all i had. That's all i knew i could do.... and i was slowly becoming unable to do that.

I didnt push to see a cardiologist until i got pregnant with my first child. I was terrified. That pregnancy exacerbated my pots and i thought that pregnancy was going to kill me. If it didnt, then giving birth would. My resting hr was regularly in the 140s/150s and i was fainting/near fainting all the time.

But i saw a dick of a cardiologist who nearly immediately dismissed me as a hysterical pregnant woman who just had anxiety. Even in our first consult appointment he was already very not hiding the fact that he wasn't taking my concerns seriously. Even after I told him these symptoms weren't just popping up during pregnancy. That it'd been most of my life. (In one ear out the other let me tell you)

I suffered horribly through that pregnancy not knowing i also had pots so my heartrate and blood pressure were bonkers whenever i went to appointments, not knowing that i only had high bp bcuz they'd check it after I'd sat down in the lobby, stood up, then immediately sat down in a room. Which as y'all know fucks hr/bp and all that without being pregnant. But we didn't know. And the only dr I'd seen, dismissed me.

I thankfully got through the pregnancy and all was well. My symptoms went back to pre-pregnancy intensity. Life, a loss in between, and another full pregnancy happened. This time my pots didn't overly act up. I only struggled bcuz that baby was a biggg one.

After recovering from my 2nd birth i thought for months about everything. My health. My life with my kids. How i was sick of not having answers. Sick of how that first dr treated me. So i told my primary all of this and she sent me to the same heart institute, but a different dr.

NOW THIS DR LET ME TELL YOU.

From the GETGO the vibe was different. He listened. Talked with/to me not AT me. Actually listened with the intention of listening and absorbing the information, not listening with the intent to say whatever he was already wanting to say and just waiting until i stopped talking (like the previous dr)

He took me seriously. After info dumping my 16 years of suffering he was already ready to get testing done and scheduled and i nearly cried when he left the room because HE LISTENED HE TOOK ME SERIOUSLY.

I had my testing done (tilt and breathing) and he saw me for the followup but they hadnt gotten the results back so he pushed the dept for the results and one hour after that appointment, he called me and said basically "yea you failed the test almost immediately and your results were consistent through the whole thing so I'm proceeding with the diagnosis of pots"

He explained the basic no cure but you can try xyz to help and you need to listen to your body when it's having symptoms dont ignore it to your detriment. All that.

I hung up. And cried all evening/night. Happy tears. Tears of relief. I got my answer. I was listened to. I actually got through it. But also tears of grief. For the girl who suffered. For the young woman who thought she was gonna die during pregnancy/birth.

I'd had (and still slip into sometimes) a harsh mindset of self hate for years. Why am i so lazy. Why am i so weak. Pathetic. Etc. It just spiralled all the time and pots + audhd is a shitty mix and to be approaching 30, with answers I've wanted and needed for half of my life.... I just... uff da! It's a lot.

I was diagnosed February of this year. So it's still kind of fresh for me. I'm still trying to find what works for me officially to navigate it. But I definitely am trying to give myself grace for all the years I thought everything was my fault. Or that I just wasnt trying hard enough.

I'm sure I've missed some things but my memory of my life is really patchy from audhd and trauma. But I think this covers the bulk of it and feels good to info dump about life when, for most of it, I bottled everything.

[crazycatsiren]

Mother Lorelei, I apologize in advance, but I need your advice.

My birth mother is disabled. She suffers from severe chronic pain and fatigue, and physical exertion, unsurprisingly, causes her to feel far worse. But it often seems as if she prides herself on pushing herself past her limits despite that, and that she thinks because she's always forcing herself to do more than she should to her own detriment, that should be the standard everyone else holds themself to. Any less, and you've disappointed her.

While I find her willpower admirable, and I understand the pain she goes through daily to get things done, I wish she wouldn't expect me to do the same. I don't suffer from the same illnesses as she does, but even so, I'm incredibly weak, and have next to no energy or stamina at all. Even walking across my school's campus can get exhausting and painful, so any form of actual labor is pretty much impossible for me; almost immediately, I start to feel incredibly dizzy with vertigo and and feel faint, my muscles begin to ache and/or start to give out, and I become exhausted and unstable. This is to say nothing of the post-exertional malaise. I'm beginning to suspect that I myself am chronically ill, but no one seems to know what's wrong with me, other than that I'm an absolute wet noodle of a person.

Whether it's because I'm as weak-willed as I am physically pathetic, or because I, unlike my mother, know my limits and refuse to push myself to a breaking point, I always fail to "do my best" or "put in the effort" enough when I have to help do physically demanding tasks (like moving/carrying things out of storage, for a relevant example). I'm consistently below my mother's expectations, and she gets upset at me every time, saying how I need to try harder and that I'm being dramatic because I don't want to put in the work to get anything done. It's true that I'm not very good at doing these things and that I never get much done, but even though I give up so easily by her standards, I work my hardest until I quit. It's emotionally as well as physically painful and exhausting at times. But she keeps telling me I'm being lazy, and I don't know whether to believe her anymore. Do you think I'm in the wrong for not trying hard enough, or that I'm being lazy? Once again, I'm very sorry to complain and overshare to you in your ask box, but I'm not sure who else I can ask.

Internalized ableism is the devil, that's for sure. Not only does it distort your own perception of what's reasonable for you, but also it greatly skews your expectations of others.

And I think your mother is filled to the brim with internalized ableism.

Believe me, I tried the mind over matter method. All it did was made me sicker. It didn't make me any more abled, and it didn't change one bit of the reality that I will most likely never be abled again.

Capitalism glorifies grind culture. Anything less than pushing yourself past the breaking point is deemed unacceptable, and the solution is you just have to try harder.

It doesn't work this way. It never has and never will. And people keep wondering why so many are burnt out, even though the answer is literally right in front of them, and everyone knows it.

Our society doesn't want to allow anybody to become disabled. It's become so deeply ingrained into every aspect of life, that it's almost human nature. All the toxic positivity and inspiration porn sure as hell don't help.