#i'm waiting for my motivation to return from vacation

[fluentmoviequoter]

Imagine: being in a long distance relationship with deacon and you surprise him at home. He doesn’t know it and is still at the HQ. Hondo knows about your surprise and sends him home with a knowing smile after the shift. When Deacon comes home he finds you sleeping in his bed

Oh my gosh, this is adorable. I'm not totally sure if you wanted a fic or not, but I wrote one! I hope you like it and please let me know what you think!

Warnings: fluff!

Word Count: 1.3k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Long Distance to the Future

Since you left Los Angeles to take a new job across the country, you’ve stayed committed to Deacon and he to you. The job is supposed to be temporary, only it is indefinitely temporary. It’s been nearly three years since you started dating Deacon, but it will be your first anniversary away from him. It would be a lie to say long distance is easy, but it’s worth it. You haven’t used a single vacation day since you started, so you’re checking the price of flights to LAX, hoping you can afford to surprise Deacon for your anniversary. The first few months of long-distance were surprisingly easy since you were getting settled and forming a new routine, but now that things are settled, you miss Deacon more than anything. The screen finally loads, and you cheer in your quiet bedroom when the low price appears. You quickly book your ticket, prepared to see Deacon in person again. You text Hondo and ask him to call when he has time, hoping to get his help in the surprise.

Your phone rings less than a minute later, and you answer before the second ring. “Hello?” you greet, expecting Hondo.

“I have big news!” your boss cheers. “You got the promotion; if you want it, its yours!”

“Are you serious?” you ask, experiencing the second miracle in less than ten minutes. “This is such an honour, I don’t know what to say.”

“Think it over for a day or two then let me know, okay? Congratulations, you deserve it!”

“Thank you! I- can I sign the contract while I’m on my trip?”

“Oh, I forgot you’re off this week. Yes, we can do it online or we can just get a written acceptance and handle the paperwork when you get back. I’ll let you get back to your vacation, but I couldn’t wait to tell you. Have a great time and talk soon.”

The call ends, and you lay back on your bed, kicking your feet up in excitement. Your phone rings again, and you see Hondo’s name, smiling as the pieces of your plan begin falling into place.

✯✯✯✯✯

The landing in LA is a little bumpy, but nothing can take the smile off your face. You practically skip through the airport, energized by your countdowns until you are back in the same time zone, state, county, and now, city as your boyfriend. Hondo is leaning against his car, smiling, when you walk out.

“Thank you so much,” you tell him, hugging him before he takes your bag to put in the trunk.

“I should be thanking you. He misses you,” Hondo replies as he opens your door.

“I missed him, too.”

“When do you leave?”

You let the question hang, waiting until Hondo is in the driver’s seat with the door closed to answer, “About that.”

✯✯✯✯✯

Hondo drops you off at Deacon’s house, giving you his spare key to get inside before Deacon returns from work. Waving at Hondo, you go inside and lock the door behind you. You leave all of the lights off and hide your shoes and bags in Deacon’s closet so there is no evidence of you visible when he walks in. Checking your watch, you see that Deacon should be home in about an hour, so you order his favorite food for dinner and wait in the kitchen, away from the windows (in case he gets home early), for the delivery. Once the food is dropped off, you hide the containers in the microwave and throw away the bag before walking to Deacon’s bedroom to wait. The adrenaline is wearing off, and you’re getting tired, even though you know Deacon should be home soon. Sitting on the edge of his bed, you wipe your eyes before realizing how tired you are. You yawn once and fail to find the motivation to get back up.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Alright, Deac, head out and get some rest,” Hondo says. “The rest of us got behind on our paperwork.”

“Okay,” Deacon says, his brows furrowed as he walks by. “Have a good night, guys. Don’t work too hard.”

He walks out to his car, a little suspicious as to why Hondo seemed so eager to send him home, but he’s tired and misses you, so he’s okay with a quiet night at his house.

Parking in his driveway, Deacon sighs before exiting the car and going inside. He puts his backpack in the front closet and then walks toward his bedroom, ignoring the kitchen and planning to order food later. When he walks into his bedroom, he freezes, part of his mind telling him to get a weapon while the other works on recognizing who is sleeping on his bed.

He whispers your name and smiles when you move your arm, exposing your face. He sits on the edge of the bed beside you and lays a hand on your back, leaning down to kiss your temple. You stir slightly under his touch, unconsciously moving closer to him.

Running his fingers over your hairline and down your jawline, Deacon keeps his attention on you, questions to ask when you wake up flooding his mind.

You stir again and crack your eyes open. When you see Deacon, you sit up slightly and blink before asking, “Deacon?”

He nods, slipping his arm around your waist to help you sit up. You lean against him and look up into his eyes. You missed his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I was trying to surprise you and didn’t realize how tired I was, I guess,” you apologize, pinching Deacon's shirt collar between your fingers.

He takes your chin between his forefinger and thumb, looking into your eyes as he speaks. “Don’t apologize. I’m so happy to see you. Why am I seeing you?”

You laugh at his question, leaning against him as he twists you so your legs are draped across his lap as he leans against his headboard.

“I had a bunch of vacation days built up and.. I really wanted to see you. I missed you so much and our anniversary is coming up,” you explain.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” you and Deacon say together.

“Well, it’s an excellent surprise. You didn’t leave any evidence you were here. Although, how did you get in?”

“Hondo let me use his key.”

“Hondo. Of course. That’s why he wanted me to go straight home. Are you hungry?”

“I ordered food. It’s hidden in your kitchen,” you reply.

“You’re amazing.”

“I know. You’re pretty amazing, too.”

“This was an excellent surprise. Thank you,” Deacon says as he pulls you to your feet.

“There is one more thing,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Okay,” Deacon says slowly.

“I got a promotion.”

Deacon’s eyes widen as he picks you up, twirling you around. You laugh, holding onto his shoulders. Your hands stay on his shoulders as he sets you back down.

“That’s amazing! Congratulations, you deserve it!”

“That’s not the good part.”

“What’s the good part? That seems pretty good.”

You lean up, close enough to kiss him, as you say, “It’s in Los Angeles.”

Deacon closes the small gap, kissing you like you’re his source of life. When you finally pull back, breathless and feeling whole with Deacon in your arms, you know you made the right decision to come home and take the job.

“Did you forget about the food?” you ask, laughing as Deacon kisses your cheek.

“We can reheat that. I had food earlier, I haven’t seen you in,” he looks at his watch to say, “11 months, 2 weeks, and 14 hours.”

“No minutes?” you ask.

“Just this one,” he replies, pulling you in just to push you backward onto the bed where he found you.

You laugh and cup his face in your hands. “I love you, Deacon Kay.”

“I love you,” Deacon says, his eyes glancing toward the top drawer of his nightstand, where a black velvet box is hidden. Future Mrs. Kay, he adds to himself.

[theoneandonlysemla]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @thequeenofthewinter and @skyrim-forever

Tagging: @ladytanithia @ladytanithia @tiredela @dirty-bosmer and anyone else, I'm tired and can't really think.

So, I'm back from my vacation in Denmark with renewed loathing for my work ( @did3lphis knows what I'm talking about). I'm so awfully tired, could do nothing but sleep and can't find any motivation to write on my chapter or anything else. Also, vibes are off.

Totally unrelated: Does anyone have recommendations for music to write an assassination scene (like witnessing one) to?

Anyway, I did fabricate something in Denmark and have a longer part (because we need context) for you to read. Little info on that: Morotar has arrived at an Inn in Shore's Stone (that I totally made up) and is glad to get a bed after over a week of camping. The inkeeper is not that glad to have a Thalmor in his tavern. Anyway, great chance for Morotar to show that he is, in fact, an ass:

This taproom too was deserted, not a sign of guest or even the innkeeper. A bar stood on the gable end of the dwelling, so he crossed the room, spying into the darkness and strained his ears for any possible sounds. Nothing, only a child’s doll, lay in a corner. Reaching the counter, he peeked around the corner. Light filtered through the gap in an ajar door, a sign of life.

“Hello?” he spoke into the silence, hearing nothing in return.

His hands rested on the countertop, the fingers of his right drumming with impatience. Unconsciously, he lowered his eyebrows and wrinkled his mouth. He wanted nothing more than a warm bed and having to wait now was driving him mad. “Someone there?” His voice echoed in the emptiness of the taproom. A chair scratched over the floorboards; steps sounded. The light strip between door and frame disappeared for a brief moment, then the door swung open. A man stepped out, his hair thinning and his nose the form of a misshaped potato. As his view found his new customer, he stopped and eyed the Altmer before him, eyes narrowed in animosity. “We don’t serve vermin like you here,” he uttered hoarse, mucus stuck in his throat. Morotar closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath. Was he going to have to have the same discussion in the east of Skyrim every time he wanted to rent a room? Long ago he had given up trying to reason with the tavern owners and explain his situation to them. Only clear words were of any use with those kinds of people. Instead of reacting to the man’s offence, he pulled up a barstool and sat down. From under his hood, he glanced at the man. It was difficult to put a finger on, but he may be Imperial of origin. Too short for a Nord, the tone of his skin a touch to much of an olive undertone. “I’d like an ale, if you don’t mind,” he said, his voice bordering on monotony but still housing a friendly undertone. “Piss of to Riften and see if the thieves will give you any,” the man spat, still standing in the frame of the door. “Careful,” he warned him, turning his head to stare directly in his eyes. “How’s the wife? The girl?” All colour left the man’s face and he became as pale as a ghost, staring aghast at the Altmer. It had been easy to make that guess; the doll was a clear indication. But that, the man did not know, and he now thought Morotar knew things about him. That the Thalmor knew about him and his family. “Good,” he breathed and finally got going. He rummaged under the bar, pulled out a bottle of ale and placed it in front of Morotar. As he did so, he kept his distance, his hand trembling. “My, thank you!” He flicked the cork out of the bottle and took a sip. Bitterness and the flavour of hops caressed his palate and he looked at the bottle with satisfaction.          “Anything to add?” he continued, piercing the Imperial with his glare.

[crowfootwrites]

What Happens on Risa [Gul Macet x Fem!Reader]

So, the other day, I found a document in my Google Drive from OCTOBER 2023 that just said, "Gul Macet takes his "nephew" (Gul Dukat’s son) to Risa for his 16th birthday, where he meets reader and they *ahem* keep in touch (2376 – post-Dominion War)" and had a singular page written. Then ✨ B A M ✨, inspiration hit and I sat down and wrote the rest, smut and all. I'm not even bothering to share it in pieces, because why wait, you know? You can also read it on AO3!

Without further ado, here's a little Gul Macet one shot!

Tagging some fellow space lizard-lovers, in case y'all wanna read: @horta-in-charge, @starrynightgardens, @sleepycat82, @vreenak, @deepspacedukat (please let me know if you don't want me to tag you, lol, I just be takin' liberties at this point)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ on this, bois, 'cause there's some vacation hanky-panky goin' on: inter-species sex (sex involving Cardassian genitals), oral sex, vaginal fingering, PIV smut, unprotected sex; but generally fluffy sweet love-makin! Not beta'd, we die like men. | Words: ~6,555

“Bo’yadik!” his nephew called from the open front door.

Gul Akellan Macet grinned at the sight of the young man, grown several inches since the last time he’d seen him, his posture proud and calm, despite the eagerness in his voice. He made his way up the sandy front path, grasping his nephew’s shoulder and giving it a firm squeeze.

“It is good to see you again, Mekor,” he commented, unable to temper the satisfaction on his face. His last stint on the Trager had taken him from Cardassia for far too long, and although he loved his ship and his crew, there was nothing like coming home again. Although, this time around, he had something special planned for Mekor and wouldn’t be remaining on Cardassia for very long. He’d returned to his own home near the Imperial Plaza to drop off belongings and pack a bag before coming to collect Mekor.

“Akellan!” The call floated around Mekor from further inside the house, heralding the arrival of his cousin’s wife just before she arrived in the doorway behind her son, whose stature already towered over hers.

“Kelana,” Macet greeted her with a smile and a nod, eyeing the baby clinging to her hip – this would be Dukat’s last son, then. It infuriated Macet to dwell on the way a beautiful and proud woman like Kelana continued to bear children for his cousin, even as he slept with half the Alpha Quadrant. He did not know her motivations, nor did he care to know. He only cared that they were taken care of, and Kelana was nothing if not resourceful. No one had heard from Dukat since last year and it had been generally accepted amongst their family that he had died or been otherwise lost in the Dominion War.

It was precisely why Macet was here, planning to ensure that Mekor’s 16th birthday was special, unmarred by his father’s absence, although that had been the case for much of his life, even before Dukat was presumed dead.

Mekor stepped to the side slightly, giving his mother room. “Will you stay for dinner, Akellan? It’s been so long since your last visit,” she asked with a genuine smile, bouncing the fussing child on her hip.

Akellan sighed good-naturedly. “I wish that I could, my dear, but Mekor and I have a transport to catch. When we return, however, I have several more days before I must report back for duty, and I would love to spend time with you and the children.”

 “I look forward to it,” Kelana replied. She placed a hand on Mekor’s arm and smiled up at her son. “Have a safe trip, cestUl. Be careful, listen to Akellan, and have fun.”

Mekor’s hand reached over to rest atop his mother’s. “I will, adik.”

The baby in Kelana’s arms began to fuss more loudly, and she turned to stride back into her home.

“Let me grab my bag!” Mekor exclaimed before rushing inside to gather his belongings.

Macet rested against the doorframe, embracing the damp heat of his home world, lounging in a ray of dusky sunlight like a contented gettle. He chuckled at the din that his nieces and nephews were creating inside the house, their chatter and the clanging of dishes and toys carrying through the open door.

Mekor bounded back through the door, nearly breathless, his dark eyes lit with excitement. “I’m ready.”

Akellan laughed and pulled his nephew under one of his arms, mussing his hair. “Let’s go, then,” he crowed, leading Mekor back down the path toward the street, headed for the transport site where they would catch their passenger ship.

• • •

The bar was crowded, packed with bodies of all shapes and sizes and colors (and in various stages of undress), as people waited for their drinks. A heavyset Bolian man stepped backward, bumping into you soundly before turning to offer profuse apologies.

“It’s alright,” you assured him with a small smile, although truthfully, you were at your limit of social interaction for the day. The heat of the Risian twin suns high overhead and the press of bodies surrounding you made you grouchy, irritation drawing your shoulders up toward your ears.

A handsome Risian bartender finally handed you your fluorescent blue drink, topped with piles of fruit and colorful flowers, tossing a charming smile your way as you backed away from the bar desperately. You turned away to watch where you were going and made your way past clusters of palm trees and bushes full of magenta flowers back onto the sandy beach where your companions had gathered.

Although, they were gone by the time you arrived – you spotted one of the three friends you’d come with chatting with a Risian woman in a gorgeous silver swimsuit near the ocean’s edge. It was anyone’s guess as to where the other two had wandered off. You settled yourself back in your plush chair beneath a wide umbrella, taking a bracing sip of your very sweet, very alcoholic beverage.

Taking a deep breath of salty air, you closed your eyes, enjoying the way the breeze caressed your skin. It had been… too long since you’d last had a vacation. Being a teacher aboard Starbase Epsilon was an exciting and fulfilling job, but you’d been doing it for a long while. You’d taught there all through the Dominion War, which had only ended the year before, even as the Cardassian Union’s treaty with the Dominion threatened the safety of all outlying Federation planets and bases. It had been a stressful time, to say the least, and even in the year that had passed since the Dominion forces surrendered, there was little respite from the damage that had been done while the war had rampaged.

Given the starbase’s proximity to Cardassia Prime, Epsilon, along with Deep Space Nine, housed scores of displaced Cardassians, as well as Starfleet officers and Federation civilians who flocked to Cardassia to help them rebuild.  

Your student body population had swelled then, and you’d had to hire more teachers to assist you – your three companions who were with you now on Risa. You’d decided a few weeks ago that you all deserved a break, after a long year of modifying curriculums, wrangling students, and managing parent expectations.

And so you found yourself on Risa, unsure how to relax like this after so long without any leave.

A spray of sand jerked you from your thoughts as it surged over your legs and chair. You bolted upright with a surprised yelp, eyes wide as you looked for the source of the shimmering sand now pooling beneath you in your chair.

A shadow fell over you from the side as a tall Cardassian rose from the ground, dusting himself off. He looked young, his chu’en and scales still relatively smooth. He looked at you sheepishly, and you glimpsed the hoverball he tucked nervously behind his back. “I’m very sorry, miss, I –”

With a laugh, you waved him off. “It’s alright. I’d rather get hit with sand than a hoverball.”

The Cardassian laughed with you, his relief evident in the sound.

Another Cardassian man came jogging up behind the first, this one older and bare-chested, with small patches of hair adorning his chin.

His eyebrow ridges rose slightly as his gaze fell on you, taking in the sand dusting your bare legs and settled in your lap, a light blue tint coloring his chufa.

“I must apologize, miss, my nephew and I were getting a little out of hand, it would seem,” he confessed, his voice low and more than a little captivating. He bumped his nephew with his shoulder. “Did you apologize, Mekor?” he asked.

As Mekor began another guilty apology, you chuckled again. “It’s quite alright,” you assured him. “I’m fine, no harm done.” To demonstrate, you rose from your chair, sand cascading down your legs as you wiped at the bottom half of your swimsuit and the tops of your thighs with one hand, the other still clutching your drink.

A glint of something like hunger flashed across the older man’s eyes as your gaze met his, but he blinked and it was gone.

“Perhaps I could replace your drink,” the man offered.

“Oh, I-,” you began, glancing down toward your hand to find the fruit and flowers atop your glass indeed shimmering with sand. You looked back up at him shyly. “Oh. That would be lovely, actually – thank you.”

The man nodded and motioned toward the bar. His hand came to rest softly on your lower back as you stepped around the chair and to his side.

With a smirk and a benign shake of his head, you saw Mekor toss the hoverball up and follow it back to wherever they’d camped out along the beach.

“What is your name, my dear?” the Cardassian at your side asked, his head turned to watch you. You smiled, biting your lip nervously. His proud posture and the way the sun gleamed against his bare chest made you a little self-conscious.

You gave him your name, trying to force some nonchalance into your tone.  

“Lovely,” he murmured. He guided you back towards the bar you’d come from not too long ago, the shady seating area still overrun with patrons. Unlike your last excursion, however, the throngs of people seemed to part without thought for Akellan’s presence. “I am Akellan.”

As you went to respond, a group of young, rowdy humans veered drunkenly into your path. Before any of them could collide with you, however, you felt Akellan’s hand grasping at your waist, tugging you closer to him. 

You glanced over at him, your heart stuttering at the proximity. He kept his arm wrapped around you and, with excitement coursing through you, you couldn’t bring yourself to mention it. You ducked your head slightly to hide the smile that painted your lips. He guided you forward slightly as you approached the bar top, protecting your back from the jostling of others with his tall frame. 

You ordered another of your gaudy blue cocktails and Akellan ordered a kanar for himself, to be charged to his room. Mesmerized by the crystalline ocean beyond the bar and beach, you didn’t notice his careful observation of you. His eyes traced the gentle slope of your neck down to your shoulders, the delicacy of your collarbones, the way the shimmery green swimsuit you’d chosen accentuated your curves. He’d never been more grateful for Mekor’s youthful ungainliness than he was right now.  

As the bartender handed you your respective drinks, Akellan stepped away from you, but held out a hand, a smirk playing over his lips.

Offering him a smile of your own, you slid your hand into his, allowing him to tug you gently back the way you came.

“So, what brings you and your nephew to Risa?” you asked curiously, your toes relishing in the warmth of the sand. Akellan slowed his stride as you reached the beach, as though he wasn’t particularly eager to get you back to your chair. 

“Ah,” he started brightly, his blue eyes glimmering in the sunlight, “yesterday was Mekor’s 16th birthday, and I wanted to do something special for him.”

“That’s very kind of you!” you replied, squeezing his fingers lightly. 

Akellan chuckled, a rich, gravelly sound you immediately wanted to hear again.  

“I certainly try to be a good uncle. His father is not around anymore and as the oldest, Mekor has many responsibilities and not much time to enjoy his youth.” A mixed group of very attractive Risian and Trill women passed you both and, despite their giggling and heated looks in Akellan’s direction, he didn’t spare them a glance, his gaze focused firmly on you as he spoke. “I suppose I’m spoiling him a bit, but I can’t help but want to provide him with good experiences. Living on Cardassia, he’s been through plenty already.”

You nodded somberly at that. “I can certainly understand that,” you murmured, reluctantly pulling your attention away from him as you approached your beach chair. A sinking feeling tugged at your chest, realizing it was likely time to part ways. But Akellan hadn’t released your hand yet. He was standing so close to you. You wiggled your toes further into the sand nervously, willing the tension out of your muscles.

“Thank you,” you offered, lifting your drink up slightly.

“Of course.” He glanced around at the vacant chairs, strewn with your friends’ abandoned towels and half-finished cocktails. “Have your… friends abandoned you?” he asked, the ridge above one of his eyes raised slightly. You heard the question behind his question and exhaled a laugh. 

“Yes,” you replied as you placed your drink on the small table beside your lounge chair, “my friends seem to have found other diversions for themselves.” 

He paused, studying you again, a mischievous curiosity in his features. “And, if I may ask, what diversions will you be partaking in?”

You glanced skyward, tapping a finger against your chin theatrically. “I’ll probably go for a swim. I have a new novel I’m looking to finish… Perhaps I’ll do some people-watching.” You shot him a sly grin. “There are some very attractive people here, you know.” 

“Oh, I am well aware,” he muttered darkly. Heat rose in your chest and cheeks.

As his gaze returned to yours again, he looked hopeful. “I’ve promised to thoroughly beat Mekor at hoverball today,” he explained, and you laughed. “I have a reputation to uphold, after all… But perhaps you would like to join me for dinner this evening?”

The butterflies in your stomach erupted into your tightening chest, the prospect of taking a deep breath daunting in that moment. You nodded enthusiastically, biting your lip to keep from grinning like an absolute fool.

“How does 1900 sound?” he asked, sounding somewhat relieved that you’d agreed.

“That works for me!” You cleared your throat quietly, trying to take the overeager pitch out of your voice. “I’m in room 151.”

With a nod, Akellan began to walk backward, as though he wasn’t quite ready to take his eyes off you. You took the opportunity to appraise him, to appreciate the patterning of his scales and the way his muscles shifted beneath his skin. When your gaze returned to his, although he’d put considerable distance between the two of you, he smirked. He finally turned away from you to watch where he was walking, and you sank back onto your beach chair and off of your wobbly legs.

Akellan and Mekor had settled themselves not far from your location on the beach and you found yourself unable (and frankly, unwilling) to stop stealing glances at Akellan. You tried to focus on your novel, you really did, but your eyes flicked up over the top of the PADD in front of you often, in an almost compulsive way. Sometimes, you’d glance up to find him already looking at you and, playing coy, you’d bite your lip and refocus on your PADD.   

After an hour of re-reading the same page of your novel, you finally put it down, groaning at your own giddiness. You stood and made your way into the crystalline surf, hoping a swim would clear your mind. You could see, in your periphery, that Akellan was watching, shading his eyes from the sun with one hand, the other holding the hoverball teasingly above his head as Mekor jumped desperately for it beside him.

Trying not to focus on his staring, you let the sea pull you in, diving beneath rolling waves until you were past any other tourists, capturing a bit of ocean for yourself. Taking another deep breath and feeling the pull of currents against you, you floated onto your back, the rocking waves indeed soothing the somewhat overwhelming anticipation that had been zipping through you since Akellan first approached.

You let your mind wander, contemplating how long it had been since you’d felt this way about anyone. Too long, if the lack of surfacing memories was anything to go by. Even your last couple of boyfriends hadn’t really inspired that kind of energy in you – you’d loved them, certainly, but in each instance, there was some measure of passion missing that never really materialized.

But it felt ridiculous to think that maybe Akellan was what you’d been looking for. After all, you were just vacationing in the same place. You didn’t know anything about him or his life. Maybe he was just after a one-night stand. A fling. A little vacation hanky-panky. The thought made your heart feel leaden behind your ribcage. 

Blowing a raspberry at the sky, you glanced toward the shore to ensure you hadn’t been pulled too far out.

A small smile crept across your lips as you watched Akellan and Mekor play together, their laughter and teasing carrying on the wind.  

You stayed in the water a while longer, letting the setting suns warm your skin as they painted the sky in gorgeous ribbons of pink and orange. When you finally swam back toward the shore and strode out of the surf, you noticed Mekor and Akellan packing up. As Akellan’s gaze landed on you, you smiled and gave him a small wave, continuing on toward your chair and your own belongings. You caught his grin before you turned away, his hand lifted in a half-wave as though he’d lost his train of thought.

• • •

You agonized over what to wear. It wasn’t like you to fuss over outfits, and you knew it made little sense to care so much about what a man who’d already seen you in next-to-nothing thought about your clothing choices. But still, you agonized. You certainly hadn’t anticipated a dinner date on this trip, meaning you hadn’t brought too many options with you. After significant pacing and long stretches in front of the mirror, you decided on a blue, strappy linen dress that hugged you in all the right places. 

By the time you’d gotten yourself ready, your door chime was sounding. You zipped to the door to answer it. 

As the door slid open, you were greeted by Akellan’s wide smile. The sight of his lean frame clad in a soft, deep green shirt and loose brown pants stole all the thoughts from your head for a moment. He looked so… touchable. 

“You look stunning,” Akellan remarked as his own gaze appraised your exposed shoulders and the way your dress wrapped around you. 

“As do you,” you replied, your fingers twitching at your side. You tucked your traitorous hands behind your back, trying not to give yourself away or paint yourself as too eager, but if his smirk was anything to go on, Akellan hadn’t missed the minute movement.

Akellan offered you his arm as the pair of you made your way down the hall toward the lobby of the hotel. 

“And where is Mekor this evening?” you asked conversationally. “I hate to steal you away from him,” you added, although you knew your tone gave away that you didn’t feel that badly about it. 

Akellan chuckled. “He has found some entertainment of his own, I fear, in the form of a group of Risian teenagers… I believe they’re going to see some live music in one of the coves.”

It was a perfect night for it, you thought. Balmy and pleasant - you looked up into the rapidly darkening night sky scattered with stars. Akellen followed your gaze.

“I must admit that I simply assumed you were from Earth - how far are you from home?” he asked quietly, steering you beside him on the paved path towards Suraya Bay. 

You hummed, mapping planets in your head. “Only a little closer than you, I think.” You glanced over at your companion, whose browline ridges had raised in interest. “You were somewhat correct in your assumption - I’m originally from Earth, but I’ve been living on Starbase Epsilon for the last five years.”

“Ah,” came Akellan’s quiet response. As the two of you made your way toward the cove, Akellan’s demeanor seemed to have shifted. He held himself less cavalierly, appeared less amorous and more curious. It was… comforting, you realized. It made you feel less vulnerable. “You are very close to Cardassia, then. I understand that Epsilon is one of the starbases that has seen the most refugees from the war?”

You nodded. “I’m a teacher on the ‘base, so I’ve had the unique opportunity to have Cardassian culture taught to me by children,” you responded with a laugh. 

Akellan chuckled. “I couldn’t imagine the chaos, honestly.”

“It’s been an adjustment, to be sure, but I enjoy teaching. And the new students I’ve had have generally proven themselves to be very capable and bright.”

“That’s a relief,” Akellan said, sounding like he was only half-joking. 

Your jaw dropped slightly as the pair of you rounded a corner, revealing a small, open-air restaurant strung up with twinkling lights sitting just at the water’s edge. The stars and lights glinted white on the rippling surface of the sea and you knew you couldn’t wait this long for another vacation again. There was nothing like this view on the starbase; even the holosuites couldn’t compare to the real thing. 

“I didn’t even know this was here,” you murmured, feeling slightly choked up. This was very romantic.

“I like to think I have a few surprises up my sleeve,” Akellan told you, guiding you by the elbow through the double glass doors. A very tan Risian waiter inclined his head with a smile before guiding the two of you directly toward a patio filled with small, intimate tables, surrounded by a low stone wall. The waves lapped softly against it as Akellan pulled out your chair and you glanced up at him as you sat, the lights on the ceiling glowing like a halo behind him.

He bent toward you as he pushed your chair in, his breath whispering against your ear. “You look lovely in this light.”

Heat crept into your cheeks and you bit your lip to stop from kissing him then and there. As though sensing this, Akellan winked then turned to take his own seat.

Dinner was a delight. Over wine and fresh seafood, Akellen regaled you with tales from his ship, the Trager, as well as stories from his own childhood and family life back on Cardassia. He asked about your youth and experiences teaching children on a starbase. Humor seemed to be a shared language for the two of you, and you were granted your earlier wish of hearing Akellan’s laugh over and over again. His bright smile was contagious and brought with it a tightness in your chest that you identified as falling hard and fast for someone. 

“So, how often do you get to spend time with Mekor?” you asked over a sip of springwine. “You two seem very close.”

Akellan’s eyes darted away from yours briefly. He sighed. 

“We are very close. Mostly because his father spent much of his life putting his military and political ambitions above all else, including his family. Even when he could have returned to Cardassia, he often did not. I have always had… different priorities than my cousin,” he told you earnestly. “So I have helped to raise Mekor wherever I could. And lately… well, Dukat has been missing in action, though likely deceased, so I am trying to do right by my family.”

You choked slightly on another sip of wine, covering your mouth as you coughed. “I’m sorry,” you croaked. “Gul Dukat is your cousin - is Mekor’s father?”

“You know of him?” Akellan looked genuinely surprised.

“I do,” you admitted. “I have friends on Deep Space 9. I’m assuming you probably already know, but there was a rumor going around that Dukat had gotten in with the Pah-Wraiths, causing trouble for Captain Sisko, the Emissary. I think he thought that the Pah-Wraiths could maybe turn the tide of the War in favor of Cardassia and the Dominion.”

To your surprise and immediate dismay, Akellan looked somewhat ashamed. You hated it - it was an expression that did not mix well with his proud, sincere features. You fidgeted with the stem of your wine glass.

“I apologize for bringing it up,” you murmured. “I imagine it can’t be easy to talk about.”

“My lovely girl, you needn’t apologize. Dukat made his decisions, whatever they were. I now have the distinct pleasure of taking over where he has failed - I will be the person that Mekor and his siblings go to when they need a father’s advice.”

A seed of dread sprouted deep in your belly. “Does… When you say that, is there a Cardassian tradition wherein you… take over for Dukat? As in… I mean… I’m sorry, I’m normally more eloquent than this you,” you mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed. You pinched the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes to collect yourself, but they opened again when you felt Akellan’s soft grasp on your hand that remained on the table. 

“You have no reason to fear me, dear girl. Ask away.” The openness and curiosity in his face was going to kill you, you realized.

“Um.. is it a tradition in Cardassia,” you began slowly, “that you must take over Dukat’s family for him? As in, marry his wife and raise his children as your own?” You bit your lip awkwardly. You couldn’t even imagine having to end this because Akellan wanted a fling before he returned to Cardassia to marry his cousin’s wife.

A slow smile graced his lips. There was compassion in his gaze. He took a deep breath before ending your suffering.

“Certainly not,” he said with a meaningful shake of his head. “One day, I would like to have a wife and children of my own. I would not take up Dukat’s - besides, I doubt Kelana would have me,” he added with a chuckle. “She can be quite… prickly. It was a good match for Dukat, but would not be so for me.”

He gently squeezed your hand that rested under his.

“Family is very important on Cardassia. I want to help mine, where I can.”

Relief flooded your system as rapidly as though Akellan had thrown cold water over you. “I can understand that,” you replied sheepishly. “I just… I didn’t want to get involved if you had something else going on back on Cardassia.”

Thoroughly embarrassed, you moved to pull your hand away from his on the table, but he grasped it firmly and cradled it in his.

“I have no such obligations to anyone. I would, however, like to find out what this could be. With you.” The words sat heavy over the table between you both.

Your heart had lodged itself in your throat. You swallowed around it and nodded. “I’d like that,” you whispered.

• • •

The cool night air caressed your bare shoulders as you stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the pale sands on the beach below. Leaning forward onto the railing, you took a deep breath to settle the nerves that Akellan’s very presence seemed to set on fire. 

As though your thoughts had called to him, you heard him approach behind you, felt the solidness of his form as he pressed close to your side, handing you a small glass of kanar. The two moons of Risa cast an ethereal light across his features, contrasting sharply with the dark, desirous look in his eyes. Feeling somewhat spellbound, you took the drink from him and brought it to your mouth. Akellan’s eyes tracked your every move, fixating on the way your lips pressed against the glass.

A sound almost like a growl rumbled in his throat. His fingers slipped beneath yours, removing the drink from your grasp and setting it on the railing with a loud clink as his other hand rose to cradle your jaw. His lips connected with yours feverishly and, without conscious thought, your body responded - your hands grazed upward over his firm chest and shoulders, looping around his ridged neck, your whole body surging upward, pushing you closer to him. 

Akellan’s free arm wrapped firmly around your waist, keeping you trapped against him. He broke from you with a groan, his mouth traveling to pepper rough kisses along your jaw and the column of your neck. 

You tilted your head back with a whimper as he sucked at the sensitive spot just below your ear. 

“Do you know how long I have been considering how I might get you to make sounds like that?” he demanded, his lips drifting over your skin in a way that sent shivers down your spine.

“How long?” you breathed up into the night sky, twining your trembling fingers together at the nape of his neck.

“Since you first… brushed that sand…” he muttered between restless kisses, “off your lap.” He sighed, his hands tracing your sides to settle on your hips. “I would have given a great deal to replace your hands with mine in that moment.”

You moaned at the thought, shifting your fingers to pluck needily at the collar of his shirt. He hummed against your skin. “You like that, don’t you, darling girl?” You could do no more than nod, dropping your head forward to brush your nose against his.

Akellan separated from you a bit, and you released your hold around his neck as he tugged his soft shirt up over his head, tossing it to the side. As if drawn by a magnet, your hands returned to his skin, palms tracing the scales and ridges decorating his torso. He sighed again as your fingers traipsed over the spoon formation on his chest; a very different kind of sigh this time, one that foretold heated gazes and lingering touches between crisp sheets in the warm Risian night. You couldn’t wait.

Smoothing his hands down your sides, Akellan caught the hem of your dress and began to push it upwards, his palms caressing your sides as though you’d disappear if he stopped touching you. Heat built between you as you pulled your dress up and over your head, leaving you standing before him in only your mismatched undergarments. 

His fingers traced your jaw lightly as he shifted into your grasp again, a stark contrast to the firm tug of your hair tangling in his fists. A moan slipped through your lips just before they collided with his. Distractedly, the pair of you gravitated toward your bed in the center of the room, not bothering to close the balcony doors behind you. 

Akellan guided you down onto your back on the bed, his palms tracing your skin, mapping the hills and valleys of your body. Memorizing them, if the concentration in his eyes was any indication.

His gaze caught yours as his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your panties, pausing, asking silent permission. You rolled your hips slightly, spurring him on. “I want you, Akellan,” you managed, the heat rolling through you making your thoughts fuzzy. You felt as though you were consumed by thoughts of the Cardassian hovering above you and what he might do with you. 

Any restraint he might have been showing seemed to disappear then. Your underwear were on the floor in a matter of seconds, and Akellan was running slow kisses up the inside of one of your legs. Your whimper hung heavy in the air between you and you couldn’t miss the arrogant smirk that played at the corner of his mouth.

Your head tipped back against the comforter as Akellan’s fingers finally (finally!) stroked the apex of your thighs. As Akellan shifted, resting his free hand beside your head before leaning in to capture your lips in a slow, deliberate kiss, you felt a telltale hardness against your thigh. Your mind whirled with the possibilities lying before you this evening and the realization propelled you forward. You surged upward into a seated position, pushing Akellan back without breaking the kiss. 

With an unexpected level of gracefulness for you, you managed to pull Akellan onto the bed beside you and, kneeling beside him, your fingers made quick work of his belt. There was a brightness around his eyes, as though both surprised and incredibly turned on by this little display of assertiveness. 

“My, what an eager girl you are,” he murmured, his fingers again finding the cleft between your legs and continuing his earlier ministrations. The slick sounds of your pleasure, in combination with Akellan’s teasing, gravelly voice sent shudders rolling through you. You’d just managed to get Akellan’s pants over his thighs and pulled out his prUt with minimal fumbling when he slipped slipped a finger inside you. The moan that tumbled from between your lips was nearly shameful, but the hungry look in your lover’s eyes dismissed any cares you might have had. One of your hands rested on Akellan’s scaled thigh, clenching as you adjusted to the intrusion and the wave of pleasure that his curling, exploratory finger brought. 

You thanked past you roundly for doing some cursory studying of Cardassian anatomy when the starbase began housing so many Cardassians - Akellan’s cock was only intimidating in the way that first-time sex usually was, instead of the “I have no idea what to even do with this thing and it’s the first time” kind of way. 

With gentle fingers, you traced the length of Akellan’s everted prUt before landing on the especially-sensitive ring of scales at its base. A deep groan reverberated beside you, Akellan’s head thrown back and his free hand gripping the comforter like a lifeline. The groan morphed into a predatory growl as you brought your lips to his slippery length and licked from base to tip. 

You faltered for a moment in your quest to take him fully in your mouth as he added another finger to your needy cunt. But only for a moment - you were determined to show Akellan the same kind of pleasure he was bringing you as he curled his fingers experimentally inside you. 

The air around you was thick with groans and gasping breaths. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remembered the open balcony doors, but in that moment, lost in the haze of mounting ecstasy, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Akellan’s free hand loosened around the comforter and grasped instead at your hair, gently guiding you into a rhythm that quickly had his hips rolling. You massaged the irllun at his base as you did your best to take him deep into your throat. Akellan moaned your name desperately, and then the world was spinning around you as he maneuvered you over him and pulled you into a searing kiss. 

His tip teased at your entrance as he growled, “As much as I’d love to continue fucking that pretty mouth of yours, the feeling of you clenching around my fingers is driving me mad. I need you on my Cho’Ch.”

A whispered sigh of his name slipped between your lips as you sank onto him, fulfilling his need and yours. Your palms found their home pressed against the scales patterning his chest as you lifted yourself slowly onto your knees and back down again, rocking in a rhythm that made Akellan swear in Kardasi.

Akellan’s hands squeezed tightly about your hips, grinding you into him with every downstroke, the gratifying friction against your clit building until you were practically wailing into the balmy Risian air. The Cardassian beneath you pulled himself into a seated position, expertly removing your bra and burying his face in your chest, biting and sucking at your skin between groans that were starting to sound pained and impatient. You understood the feeling, rising ever higher toward your peak and ready to crash over the edge with Akellan. 

The amber-lit bedroom tilted around you again as Akellan maneuvered you onto your back on the soft sheets. He wasted no time thrusting back into you, his pupils wide in blue eyes that were focused intently on yours. 

“You feel exquisite,” he said darkly, resting his forehead against yours without losing his rhythm. 

“I’m so c-close, Akellan, please, please don’t stop-'' you begged, one of your hands coming up to squeeze Akellan’s bicep while the other raced down to twirl frantically around your clit. 

“Oh, I won’t, lovely thing, not until you’ve come for me,” he whispered, the heat of his words cradled in the shell of your ear as he buried his head against your shoulder, the tickle of his facial hair a pleasant contrast to the heavy, overwhelming sensations emanating from the meeting points between your bodies. 

And suddenly it was all too much - the heat, the grind and press of your bodies, his voice, the feel of his lips tracing the slope of your shoulder. The ever-tightening string in your core snapped and with a loud cry, an explosion of starlight burst behind your eyes. You vaguely registered the sharp intake of Akellan’s breath as you clenched around his length, the sound heralding his own climax as Akellan buried himself inside you, deeper than you thought anyone ever had before. 

In the heady, panting, messy afterglow, you felt Akellan pull out of you and you winced. Akellan appeared to notice, peppering your face with kisses and brushing your hair away from your face. He pulled you against his chest as you each caught your breath and you realized you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been this comfortable.

 • • •

“Come on, babes, we’re gonna miss the transport!”

You could hear your friends shouting for you to hurry, but it felt near impossible to let Akellan Macet out of your grasp. You hugged him tighter and he returned the gesture, his palm cradling the back of your head where it was nestled in the crook of his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, my sweet girl, I’ll see you soon enough. I promise,” he whispered into your hair. You’d spent every remaining day of your vacation with Akellan and Mekor and the time spent with them had only solidified the hold he was building around your heart.

You pulled back just a bit, to meet his gaze dubiously. There was affection and patience in his smile. “You forget,” he murmured. “I have a ship at my command, and you are rather close to my homeworld. Besides, I have your personal number - I will write to you often, I swear it.”

You nodded a little mournfully. 

“And you will write back?” he asked, a little insecurity coloring his voice.

“Every day, if you wish it,” you whispered in return, meaning it. 

Akellan beamed and you couldn’t help the lifting of your own lips in response.

“I so look forward to our next meeting.” Akellan’s thumb gently traced your jaw before pulling you in for one last, slow kiss. As it ended, he bumped his nose against yours playfully. “Have a safe journey, my dear. I will see you soon.” With that, he turned you around carefully and nudged you towards your waiting friends, a couple of whom were sporting raised eyebrows and impressed looks. Heat flushed into your cheeks as you realized just how much explaining you were going to have to do on the transport home.

TRANSLATIONS:

Bo’yadik – uncle [lit. father’s brother] – in this case, Macet is technically his first cousin - once removed, but for the purposes of this story, it’s just simpler to say that he calls Macet uncle.

CestUl - child

Adik - Mother

Chu’en - the collective term for the Cardassian dermal spoon formations (chufa, chula, and chuva)

prUt - term for the Cardassian penis (Cho’Ch is a slang term for this)

[thepaperpanda]

Christmas Spirit || Hawks x fem!reader

Masterlist ❄

Summary: Hawks decides to motivate you to prepare your apartment for Christmas.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1351

Authors: Bear & Cass

A/N: today’s prompt: Decorating a House

Due to his childhood memories of Christmas, Hawks enjoyed it a lot. There was a genuine love of Christmas in his heart. Due to Keigo's unhappy childhood, he chose to keep the best, most joyful memories from the family home.

When the holiday season was at its peak, he decided to visit you to see if you needed decorating assistance.

A tune played in the background while you worked on your cookies in the kitchen.

A few knocks were heard on the balcony's door. You opened it immediately with a smile.

Hawks was standing on your balcony, leaning comfortably against a wall with his left leg bent at the knee. "Finally. I've been waiting for so long, I assumed you weren't at home."

As you walked toward him to fix his jacket's collar, you rolled your eyes. "Don't be such a drama queen and get inside. I am sure you are cold from flying around."

Before entering your living room, he brushed some snow from his wings and said, "It's chilling, certainly, but I'm used to this." After he entered and took a look around, he asked, "Wait. And what is that?"

"What is what?" You asked, eyebrow cocking as you closed the door so that more cold wouldn't enter your apartment.

He held up both hands, pointing at your living room. "This. Basically, I mean this. Your decorations, where are they?"

As you returned to the kitchen, you questioned, "Ah! You mean Christmas decorations? I don't decorate much. I'll probably put a few things on tomorrow morning, and that'll be enough for me."

At you, he made a finger gesture, raising one eyebrow. "Oh no, dear, no, no. The holiday spirit is desperately needed here."

"Aren't my special cookies enough?" You teased.

Keigo gave his chin a few taps while he was looking at you. "Oh, no, they're not sufficient, I'm afraid."

As you sighed, you questioned simply, "What's the point in decorating this place when I'll have to take it all down, pack it all up, and put it away soon?"

"Because it's enjoyable! Decorating can add charm and beauty to your area and is a lot of fun. It will spread holiday cheer in this area. It is necessary."

As you turned to him, your arms crossed over your chest as you watched him talk. Everything he said didn't make the idea of hanging stuff around for you any better. "For me it's not enjoyable."

Hawks flopped on your couch and crossed his legs. "Why is that?"

Sweetie, that's a lot of work just to take it down in a few days. The fake tree and some lights will be put up tomorrow morning," you shrugged. "I will probably spend Christmas alone, so there's no need to overdo it."

Keigo once more arched a brow. "So you won't be inviting me over or paying me a visit on Christmas Day? Is this a sign that you don't want my attention anymore?"

Your eyebrows raised as you asked, "How can I invite you when you openly announced you would work a few days ago?"

He rose from the sofa and began to circle the room. "Really, how difficult is it to comprehend? I was hoping that you would ask me for a day or two of vacation so that we could have fun, but of course you never did."

As you groaned, getting frustrated with his behavior, you said, "Keigo. I didn't ask because I know it's difficult for you to get a single day off."

"You are aware of the fact that I would stop at nothing to earn a day off for you. Come on, I'll assist you with decorating the apartment."

After a deep sigh, you rubbed the bridge of your nose. "Okay. Fine. Let it be."

"Where do you have your decorations hidden?"

"They should be in the closet. I have a big box stored there."

Hawks calmly made his way from your living room to the hallway, where you had your closet, with his hands in his pockets. He opened the door and flew up a little, using his beautiful wings to get the large, cartoon box.

"You could at least remove your shoes!" You shouted at him.

"Sorry!"

Taking a deep breath, you left your current work to assist him in the living room.

After the box was brought, Keigo placed it on the carpet and then, for you to notice, he took care to take off his shoes in a theatrical manner.

After ignoring his little show, you opened the box and took some decorations out.

Keigo looked into the package and concluded, "You have some wonderful Christmas ornaments here." He took out some glitter stars and paper chains.

"You want to see something cringy?”

"Now I'm curious," Hawks rolled his head back a little as he chuckled.

You went to your bedroom and returned a few moments later only to show him the ornament that looked like a mini version of him. With a blush, You explained, "I bought it yesterday while shopping."

He grinned, "Well, well, look at that! We have some little, decent Hawks here. I won't lie, as much as I find it sweet, it's also a little creepy, not to mention the fact that they weren't able to duplicate the beauty of my face."

"It's not my fault, you have so much merch!" You grumbled. Furthermore... I found it cute. So, Mr. Christmas Spirit, what's next?"

He threw the glitter stars at you. "Start hanging those around."

With a nod, you followed his little order and started to hang the stars around your living room.

Hawks got up and placed a few paper chains on the shelves.

As you work, you start humming a quiet tune. Once you were done, you looked at him. "I am done here."

Meanwhile, Hawks was already done with chains and some small baubles.

As you looked around, you agreed, "This actually looks nice."

"Right? Can you feel the Christmas spirit now?"

Shrugging, you replied, "Not really, but I like how it looks."

Hawks came to you and booped your nose. "Don't make me ask that again?"

The nose boop made you giggle. "Oh, okay, fine. I kinda feel it!"

He stole a kiss from your lips, humming.

You booped him in the nose this time. "I'll get the tree. Just so you know, it's a fake one."

Keigo sat back on the carpet and dug further through the box.

Dragging the tree back to the living room took some time. You set it up straight and put it in its proper position with a loud groan. "Here. Did you find anything interesting in the box?"

"Just more baubles," he raised his head, and you could see two baubles hanging off his ears.

"You really like Christmas, don't you?"

"Yes... The only happy childhood recollections I have are of these times."

You kissed his cheek, removing the ornaments from his ears with a small smile. "Let's make it a good memory this year too. Let's decorate the tree together."

Keigo worked tirelessly to adorn your tree with decorations, chains, and other trinkets he discovered inside a box. Hawks placed his arm around you and got out his phone to take a picture of you with the tree in the background after it had been fully adorned.

Just to get a picture, you laughed and kissed his cheek. Then you looked over your shoulder and rubbed his shoulder. "Babe, we forgot something. Can you lift me up?" You asked with a gold star in your hand.

Hawks took you into his arms and used his wings to lift you both up to the tree's top.

With a happy sound, you placed the star on top of the tree and clapped your hands.

There was a certain charm to this whole thing, and it certainly gave you a feeling of Christmas cheer. "Now it's perfect."

Hawks kissed your cheek briefly and nuzzled your neck after landing back on the floor with you, setting you down carefully. "Merry Christmas, little doll."

Before kissing him, you said, "Merry Christmas to my hero."

[foundfamilymafiaboss]

Final(?) Update:

Hey, Everybody. So you've probably noticed my last post was from quite some time ago, And I've been silent since. Well, There's a reason for that. And I wanna finally address this and dust off this blog.

A while ago, I promised a fanfiction that was massive, And was gonna tell the story of the Mafia Boss's revenge after getting a new body from the empress and engineer metro cats. I started writing it, and last year when I went on a vacation, I wrote while I was away. I really wanted it to work because I had the entire plot I've had for a few years about this mech revenge thing, and I was so excited to share it with everyone on this website. I had made a lot of posts about it on an art website I was on before I moved to Tumblr and with the new audience I had and the Fandom being able to see it, It made me even more excited.

But then I didn't touch it. I took what I thought was going to be a short break, but weeks turned to months, Days into nightsbrain rotation, And then an entire year, And it sat in my Google docs, collecting dust. I realized I had hit huge burnout. And then I never recovered. It was a mix of both writers burnout and Fandom burnout. (I love you all!! It's not you I just meant the fandom itself. Not anyone in it.) I still love a hat in time, Don't get me wrong, As it's still one of my main special interests, But around October, A new special interest came to me. I fell head over heels for the game "Poptropica." At first I thought it was just brainrot, But I started making ocs, Stories, And nonstop the characters and lore took up my brainspace. I even started drawing fan art, and it turns out it was a special interest. I joined the fandom shortly after, And it kinda overtook others for a bit. Basically, What I'm trying to say is.. I lost motivation. The project became overwhelming, and I wound up not wanting to work on it. And burnt myself out. It's not that I've stopped liking a hat in time (My main blog theme proves that) but Poptropica is just what's been on the brain. ..That and something else but we'll get to that. Also, I don't think I'll have a blog for it.

I think I'm stepping down from this blog. I'll return to it one day, maybe, But for now it's on permanent hiatus. I don't know when I'll come back, but maybe it'll be with a post summarizing the story I was gonna tell. I love this game but it's just not the main fandom anymore. A Main special interest? Yes! But not the main main one anymore. (Also, life stuff. That was a huge factor for this blogs inactivity.)

I'm sorry to anyone who was excited to see where it went. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and went radiosilent. I'm sorry I didn't fulfill my promise. I should've made this post way earlier, but i didn't.

One day, Who knows when, The Junior Mafia cook and Jar Man Mob Boss will make a return. Maybe not into a large fanfiction that I didn't calculate it's length for and thus led to it's early cancelation, But still a return in some way shape or form. (I also lost the file and all my progress for the cover art.. Haha..)

That being said, I still post about Piper sometimes. Or Ahit as a whole. But just.. Not as often. To those who see this: Thank you for understanding. And for sticking around as long as you did.

This isn't goodbye, This isn't the end, This isn't even the final act. It's just the intermission. It's just the pause. It's just the wait. It's just the rest.

Over time, My focus just shifted. That's all. And it sounds redundant, I know. If you want more activity, Check out my main blog @gengar-pixel-2 . It's where most of my stuff is, including fandom things.

That being said.. Here's what I've been up to:

-Gained two new special interests. It's four now instead of two. These being Poptropica and the Jumanji Franchise. (Minus the reboots.)

-I did start writing a fic.. But this time I prepared myself. It's only gonna be 13 chapters long, And isn't even Canon. It'a a crossover fic. I'm taking my time.

-Made new fandom friends.

-Reunited with old fandom friends.

-Went to Chicago for my birthday.

-Made a bunch of new ocs, Little guys.

-Birthday and Christmas happened I suppose.

-Got onto DND. (Haven't played yet though..)

-Got nominated for fan awards and won fourth place. And more..

..Anyway I'm sorry for this sad sounding ramble post. But I wanted to say...

Thank you. For the support, For sticking around, For listening to the stories I had to tell, All the asks, The fan art, The jokes, All of it. You made my day, and I'm not even joking. You all made it worthwhile. I didn't think anyone would even enjoy a story about one of the fandoms most hated characters. Thank you for showing me otherwise.

Anyway, I hope we meet again, Soon. Only time will tell. ..But for now.

"Keep it up! You are amazing and my best friend!! Remember! When you come to HQ, I'll have a sticker for you! Remember: I'm always gonna be there for you. Even if I'm not there!"

"Goodbye, For now. Come back anytime! It does tend to get boring around here. ..But you better not plant any bombs inside of my headquarters. Maybe I'll have a new body next time."

"..Farewell, I suppose. Perhaps you can stop by my metro sometime? Maybe then we can discuss some business.. There's a place in my metro where you would fit right in. ..So long as you fulfill the end of your bargain, Of course."

"I'll see ya some other time, Sugar cube! And you better be ready because I'll whip up something delicious for the next time you come to the island! Remember, I'm always in the rafters. I'll be there for ya when ya need me."

..And from me, Gengar, I'll see you on the other side. Wherever that may be. -Gengar, Signing out.

[theduchessofconnaught]

Chuck throwing Harry and Meghan out makes for a great distraction from the meeting w Ursula Von Der Leyen and the colonzier diamond drama so that's why he did imo. Even if it's proving the Sussexes point it isn't as controversial as his political meddling.

I'd definitely agree that that's what the leaking was. I'm gonna take it as pretty much a fact that the palace leaks stories about family members to distract from negative stories about themselves, so you're totally right on that part and going forward I think people need to consider with every negative story if there is an ulterior motive and what it is. Also, I think the people who would care about him proving the Sussex's point aren't exactly the people he's trying to court for popularity, so it wasn't a risk for him.

However, them getting evicted happened back in January, so the eviction itself definitely had a different motive thus an entirely different discussion. Whatever reason he had for it, it was definitely a deliberate choice, I wouldn't say he needed the property back (with the Queen's death and Charles becoming King, there were several properties that would have been vacated, not to mention how many properties that are available to them, so it definitely was not needed). I think it's likely it was a kind of message, perhaps like so many people are trying to put it, as "retribution" for Harry's book (which, in my opinion, was more "damaging because it was revealing" than "damaging because it was critical" to the BRF). Or else giving a reason for H & M to decline their coronation invite, instead of any bad press or backlash that would come from not inviting them.

On the rumours about it being because they wanted a place for Andrew (& the Wales' getting Royal Lodge), there are so many other properties he could have been booted to. Perhaps because Frogmore was already renovated and ready to live in, and essentially just sitting there.

My concerns have more to do with how Harry and Meghan did pay to have that place renovated and leased it (though I do not know for how long). Just from the point of view of landlord and tenant, if he's kicking them out prematurely after they paid for a lease and paid for it to be renovated, that seems really crappy of him. This also may have an impact on their ability to return to the UK in the future, which was foreseeable on Charles' part, and might be interesting to see going forward. I can understand the reasoning in taking a house back that is not being lived in, and I guess ultimately Charles can do what he wants and all anyone can do is be mad about it.

In all, I'm waiting to hear what the ladies at @onheirpodcast have to say about this, because I think they give really informed opinions and definitely know more about the implications and machinations of this than me.

[elenajournals]

Coming back for 2023!

I'm journaling again, with both words and art.

I let a lot of things go this year, for a lot of reasons. My author platform disappeared--no blog posts since March, a barely-there tumblr where I reblogged stuff in spurts but never promoted my work. I stopped reviewing books and posting to my booklr as well. (I am still reading, all the time, but I even stopped recording my books on Goodreads, which I had been using consistently since I found in 2015.)

A lot of times, when someone disappears from social media and come back, they cite depression, and given my history, I'm surprised to say--no, I wasn't depressed, I was busy with a new job, I was focusing my energy elsewhere, but also I was creatively stagnant in my writing and grappling with my lack of "success," and that damaged my motivation to do other creative things.

I needed the time off to figure out what I really wanted to get out of my creative practices, because the pipe dream of making money from it wasn't happening. (Y'all didn't see that part, because elenajournals was never trying to make even the slightest bit of money, this was the safe space where I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, be inspired by anything or nothing, and be answerable to no one. Those of you who found me randomly and followed me for pretty art journal pics would be forgiven for not even knowing I was an author, as I rarely self-promote here.)

But recently, a few things have changed. The one most relevant to this platform is that I found a (lightly used) guided transformation journal at a thrift store on Small Business Saturday during their half-off-everything sale. Sure, the first two pages of lessons, someone had already written in, but they gave up on the journey almost immediately, and I dearly love "used" things that have a history I can share in.

I've been writing in that journal every day since, and I'm not going to share those pages online. They're too personal, too intense in self-examination, and I'm simply not comfortable opening up publicly to that degree.

What the first three weeks of guidance have taught me, though, is that I have, for various reasons, completely cut myself off from anything spiritual, and that I need to make space for meditative practices in my life.

Hence, the return of art journaling. (Also slow stitching, which I may or may not talk about or chronicle here. Stitch journals are a thing, even a thing I've tried before, but I'm still figuring out if that's a good fit for me and if/how it would be practical to share here.)

Later today, I will finish the final spread in my Rose Journal, the found poetry one I started in 2017, and before this past week, hadn't worked on since January of 2021.

I picked that one to finish because it was the closest to done, it has small pages that I don't feel intimidated by (large blank spaces can feel so challenging sometimes!) and though I tried out many techniques and styles over the course of filling it, it was primarily a zentangle book and I felt comfortable returning to it with the goal of meditation-as-art, rather than Making Art to Maybe Impress Other People.

Over the next few days, I intend to photograph and post those pages, plus the usual finished-journal retrospective of my favorites. Also to talk about some of my journal-related goals and practices for next year.

Then it's going to be radio silence for a week, because holiday vacation with no laptop and limited time to be online. So yes, I will disappear again for a bit, if I haven't gotten enough done to queue. Though I'm sure I can find enough stuff from others to queue for inspiration, which was always half my blog (when it was active) anyway.

So that's the update. I know that I've said before that I'm coming back, and then little or nothing happens. That's why I waited until I actually had done some journaling before I said so, rather than feeling vaguely inspired, saying so, but not following through.

[rigidmisfit]

10.16.24

Not necessarily a life update but just current thoughts.

I'm afraid to ever fall in love again. Or to be in love in general. It really is the person you meet at 19 that fucks you up the most. We were together for 4 years.

Two years ago I thought things were perfect, I felt loved, I felt that our relationship was strong and even when I questioned if he did love me or if anything was going on, he would look at me in the eyes and tell me nothing was wrong and how much he loved me. He would swear up and down, make pinky promises that he would never hurt me and that he would give me the world.

He was cheating on me with people he met online for at least a month before I found out. It ruined pinky promises for me.

We got back together after a month while stating that I did not feel comfortable with him making online friends, after three months of being back together he made an online friend and proceeded to hide it from me, because "how long was he supposed to go with this no-friends rule". I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. I. wasn't. ready.

Yet he did it anyway because he couldn't wait for me to be ready. And I forgave him again, because maybe I wasn't thinking clearly, maybe I should let him have friends.

A year later I end up having an emotional affair with a coworker, I invested emotionally into this person when I should have been doing it with my partner. It ended with my partner saying "I'm not ready for you to have friends, you have to be okay with that even if it is years" and I agreed, even with the knowledge that he didn't give me that same respect a year earlier. I agreed because I'm not sinking to that level of getting a surprise new friend like he did. I was going to adhere to the rules because I love him.

A year after that, he asked if I had any motivations, any goals, any dreams. (Reference previous post) I wasn't prepared in prepping for the future because I wasn't always sure I would see the future. Which ended with him saying "You are like a crudely made robot who only does three things, I don't even need to ask you what you did today because I already know."

Later that day when asked why I was upset after the whole conversation, I repeat to him his robot comment and he said it was a miscommunication and that he didn't mean it. I chose to believe him. Maybe not fully, but I hoped he didn't mean it, so I chose to pretend he wasn't being honest when he called me that crude robot.

These past few months I thought we were great, we went on vacation together, I travelled with him when he had to go to a new city for several months for work. We return from our cruise in early September and all is well, it was well enjoyed, we spent time together, had laughs and cries and had a great time.

I wake up the day after our cruise and he is not there but I find a text on my phone saying he wants to talk. He tells me he has not been in love with me for nearly a month. Amidst that talk he says "part of it is physical". I ask if it was because I'm a "crude robot" and he has no idea what I'm talking about, it was a random slip of the tongue for him, so easy for him to forget, when those words were tattooed on my heart by someone who should have been protecting said heart to begin with.

Later he says it is a miscommunication, meaning the "physical part" of not being attracted to me, but I wonder if it was.

For the past two years, since he gaslighted me, making me think the signs were all in my head with his cheating, I couldn't do pinky promises as a form of undeniable truth. I just had to take what he said at face value. I had to take that him saying "I love you" for the past month at face value, and that was a lie, to some degree, he may love me but he does not love me in the way I should be loved in a relationship. I had to take at face value that he meant it when he said his robot comment.

That's the problem with lying, and lying while making promises that you aren't lying to begin with, is that when you say things then I have to take them at face value. I have to hope you aren't lying once again.

I worry that even if I work on myself, even if I build myself to reach my dreams then I wont be able to love again. I will meet someone who looks at me and tells me they would move mountains for me, that they love me from their soul and I will fail to blindly trust them, I will fail to take what they said at face value because doing so has burned me. No pinky promises, no looking me in the eyes, no swearing to god, nothing, will convince me that you or any new person could actually love me. I was told I was loved by someone I considered a soulmate for years, and twice now, it was been wrong, it has been a lie. Even if we do not fall in love I wonder if when we have sex and that I look at them with adoration, that maybe they will look at me with anything but. Maybe you saying that was a miscommunication but its part of me now, I can't shake that maybe being found attractive was a lie too.

I wonder if I will ever be able to be loved again, if I will let myself pretend to believe whatever lie they are spinning when they comb through my hair with their fingers and tell me they love me. Maybe I will go along with it even if I think they are lying just so I can pretend things are normal. So I can pretend that someone might love me, or might find me attractive.

You made it that I had to blindly trust what you were saying, even when I did not fully believe it because what else did I have, all I could do was hope what you were saying was what you meant, yet you remained uncareful with your words, you used them to say cruel things that ended up fading into your memory when every time I think of you or you say something nice to me, the memory of those words burns deeper into my flesh and just now you said "You know I would never fix my lips to say that to you" and I don't know. I. Dont. Know. I. DONT. KNOW. IDONTKNOW.

I don't know if you would say that to me. You could, clearly, maybe in a moment of argument, maybe in sadness, maybe in anger, but if you say something to me, I don't entirely know if I would believe you. I can't keep believing you, your words hurt and then you try to take them back after the damage is done. If your words are what I have to go on then how can you retract what you say, how can you be so cruel as to imprint those words onto my soul and then forget that happened. Periodically saying things to hurt me, to mar my soul, and we wonder where Roe went, they're gone. I can't be Roe because Roe was before you cheated, before you said you couldn't last without friends, couldn't give me the time I needed to heal, they were before you imposed a hypocritical rule of no-friends onto me, they were before you let me believe for a month that things were fine, that I was wholeheartedly in love with you and you said you were too, but it was a lie.

Roe can't come back. Maybe just not to you. Maybe not ever. I don't know where they went but it was easier to sacrifice Roe than it was to force them to be the one to take the hurt of all the comments, and the actions you have said and done over the past 4 years.

Maybe its not fair but those comments and the way things played out, I feel didn't help when I started loathing myself. I hated that I wasn't okay with you having friends, I thought it was a me-problem that I wasn't okay with it. I thought the only option was to be okay with it or at least to pretend to be because when I confront you about it you got defensive. So I stayed and buried my emotions on it. How can I love myself when you called me a crudely made robot? I force myself to do things, anything, because otherwise I feel that maybe I will just be doing those same three things you believed I'm programmed to do. How can I love myself or even want to be seen by anyone intimately when you said part of the reason was physical, yet pretended things were fine for months, told me I was beautiful but if its part physical, it had to have been a lie, and I can't imagine showing myself to someone when all I will be thinking about is if, regardless what they say, if internally they will be disgusted with my body.

I don't blame you, but I did not come out unscathed.

[ufohio]

Local Boy Prepares for Charity Bike Ride to the Moon

Earth, Ohio—If you asked any other eleven-year-old boy of Earth what he's been up to lately, he might tell you he's focused on hoverball or rocket hockey, stellagaming, or perhaps even math homework. But if you asked Buster Martianberg, local sixth grader at Sally Ride Middle School, he would tell you a different story.

“I'm preparing to ride my bike to the moon,” says Martianberg matter-of-factly. “I've been working on it since fourth grade, and I'm almost ready now.”

Martianberg first came up with the idea in Deanna Dukes's fourth-grade class. “We had to do a project on Solar System records and come up with something no one had ever done before. Most things have been done? So it was, like, kind of hard?

“I wrote my paper on a bike ride to the moon. And later I started thinking, well, why can't I ride a bike there? My uncle runs a hover- and rocket-cycle shop, and he says in old times, people would ride across the county on antique bikes—with wheels. It would take months.” When Martianberg pitched the idea to his family, they were excited to see him so motivated.

“He came to us with all these blueprints he'd done himself,” say Cosmo and Dan Martianberg, Buster's fathers. “We couldn't believe this was our son! We'd never seen him like this before.” The Martianbergs say they were a bit shocked and initially nervous about the idea, but now, they couldn't be more proud of their rocket cyclist pioneer. “My brother gave him a custom rocketcycle from his shop—and the two of them have been practicing ever since,” says Cosmo.

But that wasn't the end of Buster's journey. In fact, according to Buster, it wasn't even the beginning.

“After we installed the rockets, we had to calculate for distance and rest, figure out how much food and supplies we'd need, fit the bikes with bubble tops and room to sleep, eat, and, well, you know…” In fact, the revolutionary waste disposal system the Martianbergs installed ended up being one of the most costly inventions.

It was Dan Martianberg who then suggested getting sponsorships from local businesses and donating any extra proceeds to a charity that provides children all over the solar system with their very own bikes.

“But I was his first supporter,” says the boy's Uncle Astro of Astro's Hobby & Cycle Shop.

Buster and his uncle expect to be done with preparations for their historical ride by this upcoming summer, just in time to launch toward perigee. They've estimated that the trip will take them two months—that's two months of biking, camping, and laughing … and it's practically all of Buster's summer vacation. “I can't wait,” says Buster. “My uncle’s been everywhere and has the best stories. We're gonna cook on open rocket flames and stuff. It's going to be cool.”

And back on Earth, the Martianbergs will eagerly await their return. “I'm glad,” says Dan Martianberg. “I was nervous about letting him go at first—I love Astro, but he needed a lot of second chances before he got that shop running and settled down. But I'm glad they're spending time together. Buster has really come out of his shell since he started hanging out with his uncle, and you know, Astro has been a lot more responsible, too… I think I was wrong to ever doubt them.”

[clemsimunch]

OK.

Hi ! My name Is Clémentine! I'm an high-school AND college drop out from Belgium 🇧🇪

I self taught myself math science and shit to get my high school diploma to start biomedical science studies but turns out the school system is just not made for my brain 🙃

So 3 months ago I decided to drop out and tbh I've been really happy and really scared ever since.

I have a part-time job as a cashier rn but it's not enough to pay the bills so I returned to my mom's house

Problem : For the last 5 years, every psychiatrist I've been to has concluded the same thing; staying with my mother is toxic for me.

It's hard. I do really love my mom and my mom loves me but our relation is just destroying me and she doesn't wanna accept that so it won't get any better any time soon.

Solution: leaving the nest. I had a dorm for college, and tbh most of the time, I was thriving. If it wasn't for school, I was really happy to have my autonomy and shit.

My life has been a shit show for the past 11 years and tbh I really want a clean slate so I looked into leaving belgium and be on my own in another country !

Turns out as a EU citizen it's not hard to move to another EU country and as the depressed and cold person that I am I always wanted to move towards the north.

So after some looking into Finland Sweden Norway and Denmark I threw my interest at Sweden.

I, 21 F, am actively looking to move to Sweden with barely a high-school diploma in my pocket, and I dont know Swedish, of course.

The only thing I got going for me is the fact that I'm bilingual French and English and that I learn very fast.

Also, I'm motivated to work ? I discovered with my cashier work that I loved feeling useful and having things to do.

My mother obviously has no idea I'm planning this move. She would never agree to it. She has good and bad reasons for being overprotective of me but still, I'm a 21 year old woman in this fuxking shit show of a world and I wanna try and fail at things and have no regrets.

Last year me would not have the audacity to do this but one thing I did that changed my mind was last September I went to Madrid for a week all on my own. No friends no family just me.

I was so afraid that I would be bored and not like it but I was sick of waiting for the perfect opportunity with the right person to do things so I took a leap of faith and I loved it !

I dont think I've ever had a better vacation, and it's mostly because it was just mine, and I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. If I wanted to stay in bed, I could. If I wanted to walk the streets of Madrid at 6 a.m., I could.

Now being back at my mom's I can see how being here is toxic to me. Being dependent is a burden on both sides.

So I applied for a job in Stockholm and I'll apply to more until I get something and I'll leave.

I only have 3 friends and 2 of them live 3 hours away from where I live anyway so it won't change much. They're all supportive of me. Seeing that made me so happy I cried ahah. I just thought, "My mom would never."

Right now, I'm a 21 year old chronically depressed woman with crippling anxiety and attachment issues who can't stay sane without 40 mg of fluoxetine a day.

I dont think moving will fix everything but taking my life in my own hands getting a full time job and seeing a therapist could definitely help.

Life's fucking scary but we'll all die anyway so do what's best for you.

[michu-chaotic]

Hii, I was wondering if you could do headcanons of a Witch!Reader who is best friends with Technoblade? (she/her pronouns :D)

A/N: Sorry for the wait! My motivation has been down and I'm also going on vacation D: ! But I hope u enjoy <333

You're a witch? That's so cool!! Technoblade definitely had a hard time trusting you at first because the other witches would always attack him- but he knew you were friendly!

He met you as he was searching for materials, and stumbled upon your house deep in the forest which he has never seen before. He thought it was kinda weird and decided to knock on your door to check if anyone was inside, but no one came. He knocked again but louder just to make sure. Again, nothing. Without thinking, he walked in and only saw a bunch of potions and witchcraft, immediately realizing he entered a witches house. He wanted to look around a bit more, but figured it was too dangerous and he couldn't risk getting hurt at the moment. Just as he was about to leave, you were standing right behind him, already bringing out your potion in defense until he pleaded. "No wait! I'm not here to fight, I promise." He held out his hands as no signs of hurting you, surrendering himself. Still skeptical, you lowered your hand that was holding the potion, but you didn't put it back yet just incase it was a trick. "Tell me the reason of your presence." You demanded. Technoblade felt quite intimidated for the first time in a while, but it's mostly because he didn't prepare any armor or a proper weapon.

After Techno explained himself, you felt quite bad. You offered him for any materials or potions since you had plenty, he gladly accepted it as long as it was totally fine for you. You insisted and gave him three different potions of his choice.

After that you guys just kinda kept in touch. Techno would visit you from time to time if he just wanted to relax or needed something from you. He'd return the favor by also bringing you any ingredients and materials for potions and witchcraft!! You'd also teach him how to make potions himself as well so he appreciates it a lot :D!

One day he went to visit you bringed Philza with him to introduce you to him. Soon you three just kinda became best friends lmao. You and Philza would go out and fly around above the forest with your broom in the night (away from the SMP because yk).

I also feel like you and Techno would be partners in crime (in a plotanic way). You the two of you look rlly intimidating together and ppl wouldn't lay a finger on you.

[canonical-transformation]

Continued from previous ask:

YF/YL/ZL coming home [post Archon interlude]

Three separate stories, each showing the characters in qn returning to the 'real world' after the Hidden Peril / Fantastic Compass questline.

The first two I only have the broad strokes of: Yanfei has dinner with Itto and Shinobu, tries to process the near not-quite-death experience she just had. It's so far removed from her everyday experience and she doesn't know what to feel about it. And she's fairly sure she doesn't want to go home to an empty flat, so... well, perhaps if she's upfront with Shinobu about her motivations...?

Yelan isn't even going to get started on Itto's idiot move back there, because Xiao. Xiao. Yelan has seen far too many people die senselessly. Yelan knows damn well how dangerous the valorisation of self sacrifice is. Yelan is horrified that she couldn't stop him in time, that if it wasn't for some freak miracle, Xiao would have died, and that stupid determined-serene face of his would be the last thing anyone would have seen of him.

Yelan wanders aimlessly. Eventually she goes back to one of her old safehouses, the place where she first got her Vision.

Zhongli is the one I have the most written for. A few excerpts:

"You're not due back in until next week."

Ah. The front desk wasn't empty. The Director's voice was coming from somewhere behind the stained pine counter. It took Zhongli a moment to spot the woman herself: with her hat on, her head down, and surrounded by stacks of paperwork on all sides, she was almost invisible from the doorway.

"Good evening, Director Hu," said Zhongli, with a nod of his head.

"So what happened? You can't have run out of places to vacation to... did your knee go bad, old man?, or..."

The Director glanced up from her paperwork to look at Zhongli. She squinted, and her expression flitted from bored whimsicality to confusion, then worry, then an inexplicably mournful look, before returning to bored whimsicality again, but now her eyes were sharp—all in the space of two seconds.

"Yueru, Yanhu," Director Hu called out, getting the junior undertakers' attention, "you've been at those boxes for hours. Call it quits for the day."

"We're close, Director!, just the last three left—"

"Don't care. Come deal with it tomorrow. It's getting late and I don't feel like babysitting you kids."

Director Hu waited for the undertakers—both at least a decade older than her—to file out, then crossed the room to lock the door behind them.

Her eyes, deep and dour, had not left Zhongli the entire time, and now the rest of her face grew serious to match.

"Well, you look like you've had a day," she said. "Wanna talk about it?"

and:

"I wouldn't call it a 'cost'," said Zhongli. "An expenditure of... something I cannot get back so easily these days—"

"Because you quit your old job?"

"—indeed. And were I still playing that role, such a choice might have necessitated more calculation, for all that the act itself would have been easier. But today it was simply... my choice. Made quite freely."

"And so you shaved off a little of your own vitality to preserve someone else's." Director Hu smiled gently. "A noble deed, done by a free man. Very poetic."

Zhongli nodded. "I suppose."

"And yet," she continued, "you find yourself here in the halls of the dead." The tea was ready: she poured for them. "Now, why do you suppose that is?"

"Are you suggesting I'm in grief?" said Zhongli, raising his brow.

"Heck no. Or, um, not necessarily, at least. Grief isn't the only state of mind we counsel within this fine establishment. You, Mister Zhongli, look as lost as any of our clients."

"Lost?" Zhongli cradled his cup, musing over the word. "I... am not sure I agree. I'm the same man I was this morning."

"Oya? Perhaps you've not changed... but has your understanding of yourself?"

And this, Zhongli supposed, was why he had unconsciously wandered to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in his daze. Seventy-seven Directors and each of them, in their own way, remarkably perceptive in a way that he himself could not be.

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 9-10

Anyone mentally exhausted from watching DAYS? Well, you’ve come to the right place where I do the thinking for you, so you don’t have to! As always, if you have any questions, feel free to click on the ask question button! Happy Readings !

The Contract Revisited

While reviewing the contract, I realized there was something major that I had completely missed! Anyways let’s go over the contract again to clear up some confusion.

The Contract is as follows:

1) Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before she dies (It could be rephrased as Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before her tentative expiration date)

2) During Dong Kyung’s last 100 days, Myul Mang will prevent her from feeling any pain

3) Myul Mang has to grant her one real wish

4) If Dong Kyung breaks the contract (does not wish for the world to be destroyed) then the person she loves the most will die

If Dong Kyung does not violate the contract as in she wishes for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies anyways because you know.... the world is non existent. If Dong Kyung does violate the contract, meaning she does not wish for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies too because her doom is transferred to them. Some have also wondered whether she can has to ask for the world to be destroyed in order to get her one real wish to be granted. In my opinion, I don't think so. I think she can still get her one real wish to be granted regardless of whether she wishes for doom upon the world or not. Other things to note is that nothing will happen to Myul Mang if he does not stick to the terms of the contract (i.e keeps Dong Kyung pain free and granting her one real wish) because as Dong Kyung said "If I violate" not "If either you or I violate".

Now something to pay close attention to is #4. In Ep 2, Myul Mang had said he would take Dong Kyung’s doom (brain cancer) and transfer it to someone she loves. This is the part I missed! I’d thought that all Myul Mang was doing was transferring the death that was meant for her, not that he was actually removing her source of death which was her brain cancer. Therefore, if Dong Kyung breaks the contract, she will live because her brain cancer is removed and is subsequently transferred into the person she loves, causing them to die instead. I feel incredibly stupid for missing this important piece of info. In light of this new info, I will therefore retract my previous theory that Dong Kyung’s one wish will be to cure her brain cancer.

For those who were confused by that scene of Dong Kyung going to the beach and staying away from everyone, here are my thoughts on that. Dong Kyung was trying to find a loophole. The loophole was that she was planning on violating the contract while protecting the people she loves. This means that Dong Kyung was planning on ending herself at the beach (you can't wish for doom upon the world if you're already dead) and accepting her doom (her doom can't be transferred to anyone else because she accepts it in herself).

Who’s Going to Get Dong Kyung’s Brain Cancer and Die?

I recently had a eureka moment a few days ago before Eps 9-10 aired that led me to formulating a new theory -- it's actually Dora who will inherit Dong Kyung’s brain cancer and die. Let’s think through some things first, “the person you love the most will die”. The most obvious choice is Myul Mang. However, if you think about that statement in a more abstract way, you can see that if Dong Kyung loves her life, then the person who will die is Dora. Remember that Dora is basically the personification of life.

To further add evidence that supports this theory, I present to you Exhibit A, Dora’s massive nosebleed. We know Dong Kyung has a rare type of brain cancer and it’s located in her frontal lobe. As days pass, the brain tumor is growing or metastasizing. In theory, the tumor could grow into nearby areas such as her nasal cavity and cause Dong Kyung to have nose bleeds (FYI: In real life, I’m a scientist with experience in the field of oncology and most of the time brain tumors don’t grow outside of the brain. It can happen, but it is very rare!). Now, think about the events that occurred before Dora's nose bleed. For example, Dong Kyung was out and about enjoying her time with Myul Mang and her family and friends. Essentially, Dong Kyung was beginning to love her life. This causes Dora to suffer because she is taking in Dong Kyung's illness into herself. Subsequently, this leads to Dora experiencing some of the symptoms of Dong Kyung's brain cancer (e.g nose bleed). Thus, as Dong Kyung is beginning to live, Dora is beginning to die.

Exhibit B: Adventures of Pinocchio. At the end of the story, the Fairy (Dora) heals an ailing Geppetto (Dong Kyung) as a reward for Pinocchio (Myul Mang) becoming a good boy. Following this, we don’t hear much about what happens to the Fairy except that she’s in laying in a hospital on the verge of death. It is implied that in order to heal Geppetto, the Fairy had to take his illness into herself. Afterall, nothing is without consequences, someone must pay so that others can be happy. Much like the story of Pinocchio, Dora is doing the same thing as the Fairy. Dora is taking in Dong Kyung’s illness so that Dong Kyung can freely love her son, Myul Mang, without consequences (e.g Myul Mang dying).

Exhibit C: Dong Kyung walking around like she didn’t have brain cancer while in seclusion. You would think that since she didn’t see Myul Mang to recharge, she would be experiencing some severe symptoms, but nope she was walking around as if she was cured! I wonder where her cancer went.......DORA!

Exhibit D: Dora telling Dong Kyung to be madly in love and live. Basically Dora saying, "Love my son and live, don't worry about your brain cancer or him dying because I'm taking care of it."

Why Dora Didn't Want Myul Mang To See Her

For those wondering why Dora didn’t want Myul Mang to see her, here are my two cents. One explanation is that Dora probably didn’t want him to figure out that she was inheriting Dong Kyung’s brain cancer. It would’ve made him feel guilty to see that his mother was willing to take on even more pain just so he could be happy. Another explanation is that Myul Mang still has a lot of growing up to do (to become human). Dora didn’t want him to get the idea that he’s out of the clear just yet. Meaning if Myul Mang had found out that Dora was doing this for him then he would’ve thought life was a breeze now and have no further motivations to want to grow, thus ruining Dora’s plan for him (to grow up to become a good human). There’s no better motivation to make someone grow than the thought of their love ones dying.

Final Theory on Dong Kyung’s Wish

In my previous post, I had discussed that without knowing the limits of what one could or could not wish for, it was difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung’s wish would be. However, in this week’s episode, I was finally given the limits: the wish must be a wish that is doom in nature. I thought to myself, what could be a good thing to end? Oh, that’s right, Myul Mang’s immorality. Dong Kyung must say “I wish for your immortal life to end” or something along those lines. The combination of Dong Kyung’s wish + Myul Mang’s willingness to sacrifice himself for her + Dora’s plant = the rebirth of Myul Mang into a real boy....oops I mean real hu-man.

The Ending of DAYS

So, what kind of ending will DAYS have? Prepare yourselves. I think it’s going to be a bittersweet ending because it goes with the one of the main themes DAYS which is dualism. I think Myul Mang will be reborn as a human, but still have his doom responsibilities (so more like a fake human). He will probably end up becoming like Dora in the sense that he gets to experience the cycle of life and death over an infinite amount of time. Dong Kyung won’t be reborn in his next life cycle (remember Myul Mang tells that crazy lady there’s no afterlife; humans only have this one life). I guess the notion that the love he and Dong Kyung share will always be with him and forever serve as a shining beacon even in his loneliest days is sweet, but still I want a happy ending!!!

Now excuse my language, but to hell with dualism and what is logical! I want a happy ending where Myul Mang becomes human, lives with Dong Kyung, and when he dies that’s it. No coming back to doing his doom job in a different life. Dora can create another herald of doom. Dora did it once before and she could do it again lol. Or if Myul Mang must come back in a different life, at least allow Dong Kyung to be reborn at the same time. I mean you can grow the same plant again…. EVER HEARD OF PROPROGATION DORA?!! Metaphorically speaking, if Dong Kyung is a sunflower, then wait until she dies, harvest her seeds and grow her again…. it’s that simple Dora!!!

Some Thoughts on the Writer of DAYS

The writer (Im Meari) of DAYS is at best, pretentious and at worst, derivative. She’s more or less just rehashing the works of other great philosophers (Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Deleuze, etc). She presents DAYS as a collection of major philosophical concepts with the intention to differentiate herself from that of other kdramas writers. She goes onto placing great stress on the idea that in order to innovate or bring about a new beginning, one must deviate from the norm, yet she herself does not diverge from the ideas of other philosophers. She does not present any philosophy of her own. In this aspect, she is a hypocrite to the very ideas she tries to preach. Oh well, to each their own. Who knows, maybe my opinion of Im Meari will change by the end of the series. Anyways, I’m still here for the romance between the actors and actresses and solving mysteries!

Ep 11 Preview Predictions

Here are my predictions for Ep 11 based off of the preview, they may or may not be correct !

Dong Kyung takes back the bracelet from Myul Mang after their conversation on the beach. Honestly, I’m growing tired of this whole giving/taking the bracelet type situation lol.

Dong Kyung enjoys a nice vacation with Myul Mang on Jeju island.

Dong Kyung returns from the vacation because she finds out that her aunt is sick (probably from worrying about Dong Kyung). Dong Kyung beats herself up about it.

Dong Kyung is sick again (probably from hating life...remember that I had theorized that the more Dong Kyung loves her life, the sicker Dora will be become) and Myul Mang in his desperation pleads with Dora to help him, but Dora’s version of helping him is to …. surprise surprise… teach him another lesson. The lesson is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and that Myul Mang and Dong Kyung complete each other for the better. Dora shows Myul Mang what their lives would've been like if they had never existed in each other’s lives.

Dong Kyung having never experience any kind of suffering would live a healthy life but become the most unappreciative and spoiled person ever. She may go on to finding that life was pretty meaningless and would want to put an end to it all. And Myul Mang having never met Dong Kyung wouldn't have any motivation or desire to grow as a person and so he would remain stagnant. And who knows… maybe at some point, that Myul would’ve became so angry with humans that he would personally go around killing every last one of them.

[scarletnakazato]

Keisuke Takahashi - Forever Love Me (Pt. 2)

• Keisuke Takahashi x Reader | Smut | • Word Count: 3,031. • Synopsis: In which the newly engaged couple was about to go out for a vacation dinner only to change their plans and skip straight to dessert.

➽───────────────❥

"Kick his ass, babe!" (Y/N) yelled as Keisuke and his final opponent revved their car's engines as the countdown started. The blonde glanced at her for a split second with a grin before returning his gaze to the road ahead of him. If he wasn't putting in all he had before, he sure as hell was now. This was the final race of Project D and he wasn't about to lose. (Y/N) came along to be there for the finale, supporting Keisuke the whole way through and giving him one of her pep talks as his car was being prepped last minute.

He was more motivated than ever. Both cars peeled out before taking off for the uphill when the countdown finished. He took the lead and both cars disappeared behind the first corner, the sounds of their engines and tyres echoing through the pass as they climbed it.

Keisuke wasn't the superstitious type, but he had a small charm of a little yellow FD that (Y/N) found. He had it tied around his car key's keychain, the little RX-7 dangling and swinging gently as he turned tight corners. She thought it was the cutest thing, saying it would help him win the last race if he had it with him. How could he say no to her? She had that gorgeous smile and gleaming eyes.

As the race continued (Y/N) chatted with the rest of the team. "So, Ryosuke, if you had to give a percentage on the chance of Keisuke winning, what would it be?" she questioned.

"Well," he paused for a second, "Given the amount of practice he's had with this course, the skills he's improved on previous races and the upgrades to his FD..." The older Takahashi continued giving an info dump on the topic rather than an answer.

"I said percentage, Ryosuke, not essay." She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Roughly seventy percent." He finally answered.

"Plus thirty." She retorted.

"Taking into account the skill of his opponent and that this pass is his home course, that's why I say seventy. There is always the chance he could lose, but nowhere near as high a chance as last year when he raced Takumi for the first time. He's come that far along since then."

"Yeah, true. I still stand by my plus thirty though. That little charm I got him adds onto it you know." She grinned childishly.

"I wouldn't dare doubt you." Ryosuke wore a small smile.

"Damn right."

--------

Kenta stood at the top of the pass, waiting at the finish line to announce the winner. The sound of an engine growing louder by the second. "I can hear an engine, guys!" he radioed in, "Sounds like just one, though. Someone might've spun out." Everyone waited in suspension as Kenta watched the road waiting to see which car tore around the last corner and to victory.

"KEISUKE WON!" Kenta screamed through the radio, continuing to cheer and yell his name. The Project did the same at the foot of the mountain. Ryosuke lowered his head with a soft smile. Seems like she was right. She had no doubt in her mind. Nice work, Keisuke, I'm proud of you.

When the blonde returned to the bottom to take a break and get ready for the time attack run, (Y/N) nearly tackled him in a bear hug the instant he got out of the car. Her legs wrapped around his hips and her arms around his neck. Keisuke leaned against the side of his car, holding her up with his arms hooked under her butt. She kissed his forehead, cheek, then lips before praising him thoroughly. "I am so proud of you! My man is a badass!"

He wore a boyish grin, showing his teeth. "You want to come with me on the time attack? See how it's done?"

"Really?! Hell yeah!"

Once Fujiwara's race was finished, Keisuke helped (Y/N) with the bucket seat harnesses, earning him a peck on the cheek from her as he did it. He chuckled before moving to the driver's side and getting in, doing the same for himself. Once everyone was ready and Kenta gave the ok to start, timer in hand, Fumihiro started the countdown. When "go" was yelled through the radio, Kenta started the stop watch and Keisuke took off up the pass.

(Y/N) sat silently the whole way up, watching how concentrated her boyfriend was. It was always such an experience sitting shot gun with him and watching him speed up and down a pass like it was simple. The more focused he was, the more thrilling it got. She watched him quickly downshift several times before drifting around a tight corner in second gear, straightening out and accelerating again. It was rhythmic how he controlled his car. Shifting, turning, and braking like clockwork all at the right moments and making the most out of his speed.

"We're almost at the top." The blonde broke the silence.

"That was fast." She teased.

"Would you expect anything less of me?" Keisuke smirked, glancing at her.

"Not even in my dreams."

"Speaking of dreams," he started, "I want you to know that all of mine include you in it." His smirk turned into a soft, warm smile. (Y/N)'s eyes widened and a blush heated up her cheeks.

"A lot of them are far in the future, years from now, even. I couldn't tell you if we'd live in the same place or hang out with the same friends. But I can tell you I see at least one of my dreams happening pretty soon. If you'll let it." He turned a corner before meeting her eyes for a moment.

"What do you mean "if I let it"?" she questioned, somewhat confused.

"There's only one way it can happen." Keisuke turned the final corner, speeding past the finish line, before slowing down to a stop, ending his timed run. Unbuckling his harness, Keisuke pulled a tiny box out of his pocket, turning to her and opening it. "If you'll marry me?"

(Y/N) nodded quickly, exclaiming "Yes!" several times. With happy tears forming in her eyes, she undid the harness and leaned in towards Keisuke, meeting him halfway for a deep, passionate kiss.

--------

"Keisuke! C'mon, we're gonna be late!" (Y/N) yelled from downstairs. The blonde mumbled and shuffled around the corner of the hallway from his room.

"We have, like, six hours before we even need to be at the airport, babe." He whined.

"Yeah, but it's good to be early and make sure we get on, flights are stingy. You got your stuff?" She looked up at him from the bottom of the staircase.

"Yeah, yeah, let me get it." He said while yawning, shuffling back to his room. (Y/N) and Ryosuke chuckled at the blonde's tired self.

"He stays up all night racing but can't get up at six in the morning for a plane ride. He's strange." She said playfully.

"That's Keisuke for you. If it doesn't involve racing or watching one at the odd hours of night, he won't get up." Ryosuke spoke while slipping on his shoes, car keys in hand. Not a moment later, the blonde scampered down the stairs, two duffel bags in hand.

"'Kay, ready. Man, I need a coffee." He yawned again. "How far is the airport again?"

"About two and a half hours." Ryosuke replied.

"What?!"

"It's in Narita, Keisuke, it's east of Tokyo. I couldn't find a flight leaving from Haneda, which is in Tokyo, so we had to go with Narita. It's pretty much all highway driving so it shouldn't be too bad." (Y/N) explained, "Ryosuke is driving, so you can wake up on the way. Thanks again, Ryo." She smiled gratefully to the older Takahashi.

"Of course. We can stop for coffee before we get on the highway."

--------

Two and a half hours later, the three reached the airport, thanking Ryosuke for the ride and grabbing their bags before parting ways. "There isn't an airport in Gunma anywhere?" Keisuke suddenly asked.

"Nope. The biggest ones are Haneda and this one. And the one we're landing at on the island." The blonde whined at her words, following behind her as she leaded. He had never been to an airport before so he was trailing her like a lost puppy and looking around at all the small shops and food places. Their gate, being on the other side of the building, ended up being a fifteen-minute walk. Keisuke went to get another coffee after finding an open seat near their gate.

"They had a big latte, here." He handed her the warm cup before sitting next to her and dropping his head on her shoulder. She thanked him, taking a sip. (Y/N) was reading a manga that Keisuke read along with her, taking occasional sips of his drink until it was time to board and their names were called.

"My car is smaller than this and still more comfortable." Keisuke pouted, resulting in a small laugh from (Y/N). They were only seated for five minutes and the blonde wasn't happy. "Another reason why I wanted to drive there."

"You can't drive your car over the ocean, Kei, the FD isn't God. And you most definitely can't turn gasoline into wine, so that's not happening."

"Wanna bet?"

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. This man is a class all to himself.

--------

About two hours later, the couple landed in Okinawa. The minute they got off the plane and out of the gate, Keisuke stretched his legs, popping the joints. "Man, planes suck. My legs have been murdered."

"Aww, your giraffe legs will be fine. C'mon, we've got a hotel to check into." Taking his bigger hand in hers, she led themselves out of the much smaller airport and into a taxi that drove them to the hotel. The hotel had traditional architecture that was beautiful and was only a few minutes from the beach.

"So, what do you want to do first?" (Y/N) asked curiously as she unpacked a change of clothes and a hairbrush.

"You." Keisuke replied smugly, giving a signature smirk from his reclined position on the bed. She gave him a sarcastic smile followed by an eyeroll.

"Anything besides me?"

"No."

"Alrighty, looks like I'm taking myself out on a dinner date. Me, myself, and I could use a little girl time." She winked teasingly before going into the bathroom to change.

"Hell no! I'm not missing the chance to see you all dressed up." He got up and off the bed, rummaging through his bags for a better change of clothes as well.

"Your clothes alone are more than my net worth." (Y/N) said jokingly when she emerged from the bathroom, seeing him changed as well.

"Your worth more than that, love," the blonde wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, "and you will be even more after the wedding." He whispered, gently nipping at her ear. A small shiver ran through her as she blushed.

"You say that like you're my sugar daddy." She giggled.

"Maybe I am." He kissed her neck.

"If that's the case, at least I landed a sexy one." She gazed up at him, the back of her head leaning on his chest. He leaned down slightly, capturing her lips with his. (Y/N) turned around for a more comfortable angle. Keisuke hummed lowly, snaking his tongue past her lips and fighting for dominance.

He won quickly, sliding his hands from her waist to the underneath of her thighs, lifting her up. With her arms and legs wrapped around him, Keisuke moved to the bed. Lying her back on the soft mattress, he hovered over her, moving from her lips to the side of her neck. Sucking and biting on her soft skin, he left his mark on her several times, earning the delicious sound of her moaning his name.

"How about we skip dinner and go straight to dessert?" he whispered huskily in her ear. As a shiver shot down her spine, she could only nod, unable to formulate words. "That's my good girl."

He trailed kisses down her neck and chest. Keisuke's hands gripped her thighs harder, his nails leaving crescent marks on her skin. With her shirt now being in his way, the blonde quickly removed it, undoing her bra and slipping it off as well. Her breath hitched when he nipped at the inside of her cleavage before latching onto her breast.

(Y/N) moved one of her hands to tangle into Keisuke's hair, occasionally tugging on the soft strands. She bit her bottom lip, holding in another moan when he switched to her other breast, sliding her skirt and underwear down at the same time. Hooking his hands underneath her thighs once more, he pulled her closer to him, his arousal brushing against hers.

She blushed darkly when he grinded against her. (Y/N) tugged on his shirt, signaling him to take it off. He pulled away from her chest, removing it and dropping it on the floor next to him. His forearm muscles flexed as he undid his belt and pants, also dropping them to the ground once undone.

"Needy girl, aren't you?" he said roughly, lowering himself to her thighs and leaving more dark marks. Moaning his name only urged him on, his lips leaving rough kisses. Once he was satisfied with the numerous hickey's he left behind, Keisuke stood back up and slid off his boxers. He sighed lightly, no longer being confined by the pressure.

(Y/N)'s wrists were immediately bound together by one of Keisuke's hands, holding them over her head. "Ready gorgeous?" he put on his signature smirk, his eyes meeting her for a response.

"C'mon, Keisuke, I've been ready." She squirmed her hips, trying to create friction. Wasting no time, his free hand took a firm hold on her hip, holding her still. Parting her legs with his, he pushed himself in. (Y/N) was never fully able to get used to his size and mentally thanked him as he stayed still until she relaxed. When she wiggled her hips lightly to test the pain, giving a pleased sigh in response, Keisuke took that as his cue. Snapping his hips roughly, he easily reached a spot in her that had her mewling his name.

His grip on her wrists and hip tightened as he set a quick, rough pace. (Y/N) wrapped a leg around his waist, hoping it would allow him to go deeper. Letting go of her wrists, he moved his hand to the bed to hold himself up as he leaned over her. Crashing his lips onto hers, he gave rough kisses, occasionally biting her bottom lip.

Her moans and whines were muffled, her fingers tangled Keisuke's hair as they made out. When he gave a sharp thrust, she roughly pulled on his hair making him give a low, guttural growl. She almost came on the spot from that. When she felt his thrusts becoming sloppy, she lightly pushed on one of his shoulders, telling him to lay on the bed.

"And why would I do that?" his deep voice said between ragged breaths, "I've got you right where I want you."

"Just do it, Takahashi." She said with a hoarse voice. Her sudden commanding tone sent blissful waves through the blonde, who ended up doing as she said. Within a minute, he pulled out and was pushed onto back, landing on the soft bed; (Y/N) turning over and straddling him. Getting the idea of what she wanted, Keisuke once again took hold of her hips, slamming her down onto him as he snapped his hips up to meet hers.

Her nails dug into his biceps as she lowly moaned his name at the sensation. Keisuke watched her with glazed over eyes, reveling in the sight before him. With each time she came down, he thrust up to meet her, making the pleasurable feeling double. Sliding his hands down to her thighs, Keisuke gripped the soft flesh and leaned his head back with closed eyes and short, deep moans.

"Babe, f-fuck!" His moans and whimpers became shaky right before he came. He gave a few more thrusts until (Y/N) came as well, groaning his name. She let herself collapse on top of him, head resting on his shoulder as the couple breathed heavily. She felt Keisuke's arm drape over her back, his hand gently squeezing her side.

"You owe me two dinners now, Takahashi." (Y/N) mumbled tiredly, breaking the silence.

"Don't worry gorgeous, your sugar daddy's got you." He lightly teased.

"Mhmm. He better." She lifted herself off of him and the bed to put on one of his large shirts. Keisuke did the same, except he only put on loose sweatpants before falling back onto the bed. When she was in arm's length he pulled (Y/N) next to him, cuddling again, this time more comfortable and under the covers. She nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck and he wrapped his muscular arms around her protectively.

Keisuke kissed the top of her head while gently rubbing circles into her sides with his thumbs. "Hey, babe?"

"Hmm?" her voice was muffled.

"I was wonderin'... can we have the FD around during the wedding? Like in the background when pictures are taken, then have a group of pictures of us with it?" he asked shyly. "I'm sounding like my FD is the centre of my universe, aren't I?"

"I love the idea, hun. Let's do it. That makes it better since you proposed in it." She said lightly, leaving a light kiss on his neck.

"Really? Thanks, beautiful, you're the best." He said excitedly with a grin. He turned onto his side, hugging her tighter and leaving a kiss on her forehead. (Y/N) looked up, her eyes meeting his shining blue ones.

"You're adorable, Kei," she pecked his lips, "I love you."

"I love you more, (Y/N). My beautiful girl." Keisuke gave her several kisses around her face, earning a cute giggle from her, before he connected their lips in a soft, loving kiss.

[radiorenjun]

Grand announcement ❗❗❗

Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.

Honestly is it that much of a surprise?

Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.

LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?

First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.

Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then

Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.

Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.

If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?

I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.

Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.

I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.

To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao

I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid

I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.

I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that

You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.

Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.

Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.

Damn broken English 101.

As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.

Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.

I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha

I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.

Thank you and see you all later

[timextoxhajima]

Love Me A Little Less: Cast, Face Claims and Fashion Inspiration [Male's Edition]

Me trying to recall if I had more than 3 male characters in this fic LMAOOOOO

Lee Juyeon

Wardrobe Inspiration: Yoo Chang Soo (High Society), Cha Jin Wook (My Secret Romance), Ryan Gold (Her Private Life)

[Notable Outfits]

1. The day Kim Jo-Pil returned

"Both of them whip around to see the young man standing by the door, pushing himself off the frame and strutting into the private room. The whole fit he was wearing could buy a short vacation." Chapter 2, Auction

2. The day Jang Won cried in his arms

"His nose sours and his vision starts to blur when he can feel her torso shiver and jerk with every sob he hears. The side of her head nestles into his left shoulder, hands tightly clenched together against her stomach with his elbow resting on her bent knees." - Chapter 10, Pudding & Champagne

3. The day Juyeon confronts Yoo Hye In

"By the time Juyeon has his rear nestled in the leather seat of her car, his heart is racing from the undying need to crack the code to this person. Pure passion, mixed with a fiery motivation to protect his wife fuels his urges." - Chapter 15, Doctor

4. The day Juyeon finds her

"By the time she’s made it to where the field connects with the pavement, Juyeon’s sleeve was stained with darker damp spots and messy strings of mucus, unbothered about how expensive his blazer was." - Chapter 18, Fate

5. The day Juyeon received a hundred tulips

"With a hearty laugh, Juyeon nods, gesturing for Sunwoo to leave the office. But they find Young Jin Seol greeting a deliveryman and in his hands was a huge bouquet of yellow tulips, a brown envelope stuck in the midst of all the bright petals." - Epilogue

Kim Young Hoon

Wardrobe Inspiration: Lee Young Joon (What's Wrong with Secretary Kim), Cha Eun Woo (True Beauty), Lee Jong Suk, Ji Chang Wook

[Notable Outfits]

1. The day Kim Jo-Pil returned

"Younghoon waits for the staff to leave, then stands by the sofa opposite her, one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair. The late morning sun reflects off his soft, dark brown locks when he absent-mindedly rubs the back of his head and he proceeds to unbutton his blazer to allow him a seat." - Chapter 1, Frankenstein

2. The day his sister got married

"Younghoon offers a hand. “As a brother, I ask for your care and patience, nothing more." - Chapter 5, Hera's Princess

3. The day he sent his sister off on her honeymoon

“Oh, she’s definitely meaner!” Younghoon yells, earning a tight slap on the arm. “Y’know what, Juyeon? Just leave her there and come back. Oh, and take the plane with you!” - Chapter 12, Honey & Tea

4. The day Artemis Ent. surpassed H&A

"Younghoon’s eyes are stuck to the silk-wrapped item in the bag, the pool swishing echoing in the distance from inside The Artemis Apartment." - Epilogue

Kim Jo-Pil

Face: Choi Jin Ho

[i would include more pics but i'm at my limit SO]