#i'm usually a chaotic cook so they often turn out burned

[philemonsdarling]

feeling like a chef after cooking one really good dish

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt: How I think a relationship with Simeon and Barbatos looks like <3

Pairing: Barbatos × Gn!Mc × Simeon

Genre: Fluff, headcannons

TW: NA

AN: I'm having thoughts about these two, so suffer along with me lol. If I think of anything else later I might add <3

You being in a polyamorous relationship with Simeon and Barbatos is basically three tired caretakers taking care of each other. Doesn't matter if you're a chaotic little shit (affectionate), just being around these two will bring out their nurturing side.

You three bring out the best in each other and your children, and yes, by your children I do mean Luke, Diavolo, Solomon and the brothers.

Your relationship often includes making sure Barbatos doesn't overwork himself, that Simeon is not just putting up a smiling facade, and that you do not burn yourself out due to the various shenanigans the brothers get into.

Tea time is a must, at least twice a week. Barbatos needs the time to unwind with his most beloved darlings. It's usually held at the Demon Lord's Castle, and everyone else knows better than to disturb you three when you're having tea time together unless it's life-threatening.

Not much pda in the relationship, unless you initiate it. Both Simeon and Barbatos are the kind of people who don't see a reason to flaunt your relationship, unless they are jealous or want to make a point, but neither are opposed to giving you the affection you want. Simeon is comparatively bolder in public, often pressing his lips against your forehead or cheeks in a chaste gesture of affection before you have to leave for class, while Barbatos is more reserved, opting to place a guiding hand on your lower back when you walk alongside him. Even with each other, they are the same way; very subtle in their affections.

They are very affectionate in private though. Within the privacy of Simeon's room (because yours is basically the HOL's living room now, and Barbatos' room just has... doors), expect to be utterly drowned in their affection. So, so many kisses they shall bestow upon you, make sure to give some back to them. Also, both of them are big fans of ganging up on you, but with enough of an incentive, one of them (usually Barbatos) can be convinced to betray the other(usually Simeon) and help you bully him <3

Barbatos is the biggest tease when he wants to be. He'll spend the entire day giving you and Simeon just enough fleeting touches and soft affection that by the end of it you will have gotten permission from Diavolo to steal his butler for a few hours, while Simeon would have made arrangements at Purgatory Hall for the three of you to spend time basking in each other's presence and love.

Picnic dates! Where Barbatos chooses the spot and you and Simeon make the food! And you guys make flower crowns for each and talk for hours or just sit in comfortable silence.

Also, your relationship dynamic is very domestic. Like yall have been married for years. It especially shows when the three of you cook together. As rare as it can be, it's always fun, with gentle and soft kisses exchanged as you work in the kitchen seamlessly. Anyone watching the three of you in the kitchen will feel like it's a carefully choreographed dance, with the way you all move around each other, each one working on their task while stealing glances at their lovers.

Simeon loves watching you and Barbatos interact. Especially when Barbatos knows exactly which buttons to push to get you flustered and has made it his life's mission to make you blush as much as you can. He also thoroughly enjoys himself when you turn Barbatos' subtle flirtations against him and fluster the ever-composed butler instead. Also gets ideas to base the main characters of his next works off of you two, but always ends up liking what he's written too much to share with anyone else.

Barbatos, on the other hand, likes to make Simeon flustered himself more than watching you fluster him. Simeon has the cutest reactions, and so whenever he gets the chance to, Barbatos makes sure to fluster him as much as possible.

Luke sees you as his parent, no doubt about it. Solomon is a little shit who likes to tease you, while Diavolo is positively ecstatic for the three of you. Lucifer and the brothers, despite trusting Simeon and Barbatos, are almost comically overprotective of you.

Barbatos is more accepting and open about his possessiveness over the two of you, but Simeon will be a little more reluctant to act on his possessive tendencies. But you best believe that Barbatos will coax him into acting on his desires a little more.

[soft-ris]

Hello, Cupid's Pick sounds fun! If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to request one for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (I'd prefer Part 5 since I'm most familiar with it, but only if it's okay with you!)

I'm a very open minded person, kind of quiet but I get talkative the more I know you. I'm the chaotic friend who's usually down to do anything with you. You could literally talk about anything (except math), and I would listen to you attentively if you sound excited enough. I do swing from lazy to hyper and energetic. There's very few people I genuinely open up to, but I dearly love them so god help anyone who insults them because I can and will fight them (nothing can stop this 4'11" gremlin!!!). My humor is either dirty innuendos or sarcasm. I am also the kind of person who can cry just cause someone else is crying. For hobbies, I'm very fond of cooking, singing, and playing video games. I absolutely love sweets and I am very much a cat person. I hate bugs with every fiber of my being though, I will definitely run out of the room like my life depends on it. An ideal date would probably be relaxing at home or going somewhere quiet to hang out and talk.

Ahdkakjda wait, I'm so sorry, I got so excited I misread your Cupid's Pick post... if it's alright, could I choose Melone, Ghiaccio, and Risotto as my top 3 picks? (I was the anon who asked for Part 5 of Jojo specifically...)

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Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...

...Melone!

I personally think Melone would only be open to a relationship if he believes the other person is a perfect match for him (and his genes)! And guess what? He believes you are and so does Cupid!

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I'm a very open minded person...

Necessary for their line of job, but definitely a plus for Melone due to his…tendencies and personality and interests. So I feel like he would be very into open minded people (like yourself) because that just means more acceptance and more things to try out ;)

I mean he may brush off or ignore other people’s disgust, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be accepted too uwu so your open mindedness is one of the big reasons you’d catch his heart!

If you have limits, he will push them from time to time, but reign him in and he’ll be more than willing to behave (with a price ;3)

...kind of quiet but I get talkative the more I know you. + You could literally talk about anything (except math), and I would listen to you attentively if you sound excited enough.

Melone strikes me as someone who talks moderately in general (he just talks to himself a lot), but he will talk more to the people he’s close to/comfortable with, and his excitement when he realizes you’re actually listening to him will shoot up and up and up (like his rate of talking).

He knows you tend to zone out when he’s talking about math related stuff, so that won’t come up often with him, but it still will sometimes because he probably thinks your expression is just Di MoLtO~🥴

He also loves collecting data/information on you, so whatever you talk about to him, he’s gonna be typing it down simultaneously!! So not only does he listen, he remembers (and has like 50 sub-folders on the stuff you say lol). This is mainly because he wants a more cohesive file on you. Like I said, he already believes you’re practically the perfect match for him with all the information he has on hand already, but his appetite for more information about you drives him to do this because it’ll just affirm for him that ‘ok wow this person really is my match made in genetic heaven’.

Ghia’s excitement comes in the form of rage and it happens often, so while he loves that you’re listening to him, I think he would almost never show you that he appreciates it. Also, if you’re talkative when he’s stressed or angry, he will yell at you to shut up. Ris would be straight forward (tells you that he’s not in the mood) and Melone would say stuff like “Not now. Later.” (but he doesn’t sound as gruff as Ris).

Ris is the same way with the quiet to talkative thing (in my HC at least), so getting past that initial stage would be hard as hell with him. Imo Melone would be the easiest to get past that stage, and Ghia…depends? If you keep pissing him off though (bc yk…tsundere with anger issues lol), he’ll be the hardest to get to a comfortable stage.

There's very few people I genuinely open up to, but I dearly love them so god help anyone who insults them because I can and will fight them (nothing can stop this 4'11" gremlin!!!).

All of them would appreciate this one way or another, but Melone more so because you’re fighting…for him. Him who’s always touted as gross or perverted or disgusting by the majority. Him who never fights in a confrontational manner because he isn’t comfortable with that and prefers long range tactics (satisfactory but seeing u fight face to face for him just hits different YK?). And it means so much more to him than you’ll ever know.

He’ll also be standing behind you, cheering u on with the biggest smile on his face too :’) also would jeer & taunt ur opponent LOL

I'm the chaotic friend who's usually down to do anything with you.

I HC Ris as having a routine set of things he enjoys doing and it’s on permanent rotation (I’m not saying he won’t go out of his comfort zone, but he knows what he like and if he doesn’t like something, it’s hard to change his mind), whereas with Ghia I HC him as only having 2 interests – cars (more specifically the type of car he drives) and knowing facts (+ disputing and ranting about them). Ris would indulge in some chaos once in a blue moon, but I feel like him & Ghia are set and happy with their current interests.

Melone however would be the most open in terms of what he’s willing to do as long as his safety is guaranteed or if the activity does not involve him getting hurt. Like stealing a yacht or hacking ur annoying neighbour’s computer system LOL

Because you bring that chaos, Melone would be the most fit with you. I know you’re probably like “Huh? Ain’t Ghia chaotic too?”, or “Wouldn’t Ris handle chaoticness the best?”, but chaos (Ghia’s) feeding into chaos (yours) might burn the both of you out, and Ris already deals with chaos 24/7 and he just wants to relax imo. Melone though, looks the most flexible and can probably match up with you the best because of that since he deals with Ghia and the rest on the regular without looking like he’s Tired™️ lol

I do swing from lazy to hyper and energetic.

Like I just mentioned, Melone most likely deals with Ghia’s energy on the regular and he looked chill with the other members too, so he (and Ris as well since yk…he’s the one overseeing everyone in LS) would adapt to your moods the best.

Ghia…I feel like because he has such a short fuse AND is a tsundere (well, at least that’s what I get from his vibe), he would not deal well with your energy if it’s higher up there. He might blow several fuses if the situation and your mood and his mood doesn’t align properly. I also think if he happens on your lazy mood, he would just leave you alone and go do his own thing.

My humor is either dirty innuendos or sarcasm.

Melone is technically a pervert, so when you make dirty innuendos, he’ll absolutely eat it up like a wet ass pussy.

I feel like he definitely prefers that over sarcasm, unless your sarcasm is aimed at someone else (especially if it’s someone he doesn’t like). He’ll probably just ignore you if you’re sarcastic to him lol, but Ghia would absolutely take it too far too quick. Ris enjoys the sarcasm more than the dirty innuendos I feel, but because he’s also your boss, you have to know where the exact boundaries are when y’all are in a professional setting. He’s not quite forgiving if he feels undermined or disrespected. But if Ris is in the mood, he’d dirty innuendo you back, but if he’s not then he’d either brush you off or pretend you didn’t just say that lol. Overall, kinda dry with your humour bc in my head his humour brand is Dry too LOL

I am also the kind of person who can cry just cause someone else is crying.

Ghia would scold you or make you feel like an idiot because of that (he might think it’s a liiiiittle cute, but the chances of him telling you that is like 0.0001% lmao). He’s prideful as hell too so…. But he might also find it annoying or ridiculous (depending on the situation). 0/10

Ris would hand you a tissue and maybe offer his embrace. He thinks it’s a little odd, but it’s not something he would give most of his attention to after you explain it to him. 4/10

Melone would coo at you. Would tease you with it too. He’d also love your tears. Something about you crying…kinda turns him on…maybe. Overall, he’d be the one who doesn’t mind it the most and likes it the most too. 100% wouldn’t make u feel stupid or weird about it, that’s for sure. 8/10

For hobbies, I'm very fond of cooking, singing, and playing video games.

Cooking - Ghia’s taste is Picky, so he won’t eat everything you cook and will 100% complain if it’s something he doesn’t like smh. Ris enjoys the domesticity when you cook with him, but he’s 90% in charge bc he likes certain dishes a certain way. He would also give you constructive criticism like you’re on masterchef or some shit😭😂. Melone would eat it all up. No complaints. On the pan, on the plate, on the cutleries, on your body. Man don’t give a fuck. Put your cum in it too and he’ll gobble that shit up SO quick😭 Overall, would eat anything you give him because he’s chill in that aspect bc I see him as kind of a trash eater? 😂

Singing - Ris would listen and dish out a compliment once in awhile, Melone would verbally appreciate it the most (and also secretly record it and save it amongst the 2k other files he has on your singing lmao), and Ghia in all his tsundere-ness would ask you to can it (he really doesn’t want u to shut up but you don’t actually know that lmao).

Video games - Risotto would never LMAO. If he sees you playing games, he’s just gonna go about his day or even turn around lmao. Ghia probably thinks its childish. Melone would indulge in this hobby of yours the most. Probably buy some for you or even make hentai games just for u💓

I hate bugs with every fiber of my being though, I will definitely run out of the room like my life depends on it.

Ris is the best candidate for this because he would kill it for you, Ghia would walk out, and Melone would scream and run with u LMAO

An ideal date would probably be relaxing at home or going somewhere quiet to hang out and talk.

Melone would try to push you to go out & try different kinds of dates, which is fun in its own, and a good balance for compromise between the two of you. But then again, it’s not like he’s constantly going out lol, so when you go on your ideal dates with him, he’s reminded that intimate quality time like these are so important too (and it secretly becomes his favourite types of dates as well because more time = more info on his lovely baby)

Risotto would match up with this the best, but that would also mean these kinds of dates (chill, lowkey & personal) will make up majority of your dates. And he (imo) is quite fond of chill lowkey routine type dates, so...unless you’re the homebody introverted type, I don’t think Ris would match the best.

Ghia’s ideal date is probably travelling? And 60% involves his car and other cars & 40% involves trivia & debates (whether it’s a game between you two or at a bar against other teams). No other interests LOL

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All in all, Melone x anon 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope you enjoyed this 💜

[hanmemyphone]

{Part 1} Hello human! May I have a ship? I'm a straight female Libra. On the outside, I usually act shy, polite, and love to give a helping hand. Once you get close to me, I transform into my true form: pure chaos. You'll want to suffocate me because I'm the most annoying and talkative person in the universe. I'm loud, funny, and love to annoy my friends. I always make insults that will turn you into ashes (people call me Satan's child, but I think even Satan disapproves of me)

I’m super sarcastic and a huge smart mouth (people think it’s mean but it’s the truth that no one else is willing to say. Where else can you get such an honest friend? 😌) I try to have no feelings and soul, but fail as I smile every 2 seconds and laugh all the time. I appear to be confident and can even come off as egotistical (What can I say? It’s not my fault I’m so awesome. I’m just blessed 👸🏻💁🏻‍♀️) However, I always make fun of myself to prevent real arrogance from developing

I’ve stopped caring about what others think of me and am ambitious. My goals are my top priorities (why worry about haters? When I become rich and a millionaire, they’ll be kissing my feet) and am competitive. I’m an avid bookworm and like to daydream about book worlds (I mean the real world sucks, am I right? I’d rather be riding dragons than doing calculus). I also love to write novels and short stories (its one of the few things I’m not an utter failure in). My writing is based off

my so-called feelings and reveal a less evil side of me. I love to dance but I know my skills are worse than Seven’s dietary habits. I also like to cook and like me food spicy like me 😉. One good thing about me is I’m logical. I always think with my brain and refrain from making rash decisions. (Yeah that’s it because the devil has very few good qualities 😂) I’m awfully afraid of storms (I hate my 2nd grade teacher for making me believe that a small storm can kill you) and failure.

My Myers Briggs results was INTP. I guess I’m proud that I have proved everyone who believed I was a failure that I can be smart (academically and common sense wise) So what do you say? Do you believe even I have hope or should I just stick to ruining people’s day? *So sorry for this essay 😂 I hope you weren’t bored to death and found at least a little of it funny. If not, I give you full permission to punch me but not the face because it’s just too beautiful to touch. Thanks byeee*

ALRIGHT FINALLY I’M HERE TO DO THIS MATCH UP I apologise so much for the wait (so I hope this post is sufficient for an apology!)Thank you human so much for requesting and yes you can have a ship!

Your match is 707!

holy moly reading through this I couldn’t help but think you were perfectly matched for one of our favourite redheadsstrap in for a long post

Just from the beginning, you seem to be quite quirky and funny. One of the only people who could truly appreciate and play along with this quirky nature of yours would be Seven as he himself is the same!I have to admit, this kid will probably get annoyed at your chaotic nature. At times he’ll want peace but this doesn’t mean that him himself isn’t an annoying or talkative person. Most of the times, he’ll be just like you.He’ll be loud, while you two banter together, he’ll be funny, cracking all his jokes over and over, and lastly, he’ll love to annoy the crap out of you.Also be ready for burn battles, Seven will NOT back down after hearing an insult that required some ice to heal.

Seven would absolutely die of laughter seeing you try to be emotionless and failing horribly. Once he knows that you will always laugh in the end, he really comes to love this side of you. He always likes the sound of laughter, exuding that positivity.

I don’t know why but because you said you appeared confident and egotistical, I imagined Seven calling you his princess or “your majesty” as a joke. Though, as always, he’ll know that you aren’t self-absorbed and arrogant.

He admires your ambition and the fact that your goals can’t be blocked by those who want to block you. At times Seven can be quite pessimistic about his own circumstances, often resorting to acting only to avoid bad situations (if they do happen) but I think with your clear sightedness wait that was a word it could clear up his bad thoughts. He could even learn from you and learn to ignore those who wish pain upon him and make him be just a bit more selfish, allowing him to focus on his own goals without backtracking.There’s nothing like some good competition, and I can imagine that things between you and Seven could get really heated in a good game of Mario Kart.(I TOO WOULD RATHER RIDE DRAGONS THAN DO CALC)

I can see Seven reading what you had written (if you let him of course) just late at night only illuminated by a dim light, slowly learning about you and perhaps learning about a side of you he wouldn’t have known about. Can’t you just imagine him reading with a small smile on his face? It just makes my heart flutter. 

DANCING. TOGETHER. SPONTANEOUSLY. and don’t worry, I can’t help but believe Seven will have his own special moves to bust out. You already know about Seven’s dietary habits, so maybe with your interest in cooking you could spice up his meals and get something actually nutritious into his body.

Your logical mind could blend well with him. He is usually driven by logic but there are times where he can be overwhelmed with emotion and let it control him. In times like this you could act as his support and help him make the rash decisions he wouldn’t be able to. (If you’re the devil then you have a multitude of great qualities)Seven would either give you a big hug and shield you from storms…. or make the storms by playing sounds through speakers but he’s not that much of a prankster is he IS HE

Again, like what I said about your logical nature, as an INTP, you’re more composed than others and I think it could serve as a good backbone to the emotional side of the relationship you two share. Always nice to help each other out when you most need it!Seven would be proud of you too and although he would like to believe that you have some sort of hope, ruining people’s days are the way to go! (I believe in you though

So all in all, you and Seven have personalities that just blend extremely well together. You two are quite similar and often have the same mindset, save a few certain situations. This similarity just spells out great chemistry, and with you two also having areas where you can support each other, I can see a relationship between the two of you as fun and just absolutely crazy to be honest!

side note: DON’T BE SORRY FOR THE ESSAY I LOVED READING THROUGH THIS (sorry for taking so long)! IT MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD AT 2AM, I’m so sorry neighbours, and I would never touch your face

[vestiges-of-me]

I'd say 1-100 but I'm not trying to be satan here. But eh, how about 1-100? 😋

Thanks to everyone who inboxed me but Satan wannabe here made sure all questions would be answered soooo…

What is you middle//full name?I’ll give you my first name – Raha How old are you?28What is your birthday?14 October What is your zodiac sign?LibraWhat is your favorite color?Uhh black?? Sometimes white What’s your lucky number?Not sure i have one but apparently my family should beware the number 8? Odd things associated with that number (i.e. major illness, house burning down etc)Interestingly enough my sister was born on the 8th *snickers* says it allDo you have any pets?I wish. I want a kitty.Where are you from?Uhh. I was born in France but live in the UK?How tall are you?5'8What shoe size are you?6How many pairs of shoes do you own?Uhhh 4 or 5What was your last dream about?Um one of my fictional characters What talents do you have?writing? I think haha Are you psychic in any way?I don’t know if it’s psychic but I can see patterns and predict how something will turn out even though it seems far fetched – I’m rarely wrong Favorite song?Not sure i have one but I love Mark Petrie’s music Favorite movie?Oceans Thirteen? A Beautiful Mind? The Hobbit trilogy? I have so many Who would be your ideal partner?Simply put? Someone with a sense of humour, compassion and someone who can be my best friend. I not sure there’s a straightforward simple answer to this one Do you want children?Oh yes I think so Do you want a church wedding?Not a chance Are you religious?My religion is important to me Have you ever been to the hospital?Once or twice yes Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Thankfully no… not yetHave you ever met any celebrities?Not that I can remember? I feel like I have though? Can’t be that famous or I wouldn’t forget Baths or showers?Showers What color socks are you wearing?I’m barefoot you weirdo Have you ever been famous?Does 600 people following me on FB for my writing count?Would you like to be a big celebrity?no thank you!What type of music do you like?Instrumental Have you ever been skinny dipping?O.O no and I don’t intend to How many pillows do you sleep with?Two What position do you usually sleep in?Back, side, stomach – whatever my back allows How big is your house?we have more room than we need but I wouldn’t say it’s bigWhat do you typically have for breakfast?….air?Have you ever fired a gun?Nope!!Have you ever tried archery?Yes and I love it!Favorite clean word?Brilliant Favorite swear word?A variation of fuckWhat’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?Just under 72 hours Do you have any scars?I do indeed, several Have you ever had a secret admirer?Yes Are you a good liar?As long as you’re not looking at me lol Are you a good judge of character?I am – I might play along but I rarely get played for a fool Can you do any other accents other than your own?FrenchDo you have a strong accent?I have a unique accent – I get comments on it very often. I’ve had dialect experts say that they can’t place me (in the UK), people say I have Egyptian, French, American tilt?? An odd mix. I am British. What is your favorite accent?French / German What is your personality type?INFJWhat is your most expensive piece of clothing?Lol I have a coat that I bought for an atrocious price but it was worth it Can you curl your tongue?*tries* ….apparently not Are you an innie or an outie?…..Left or right handed?Right Are you scared of spiders?They make me uncomfortable more than they scare me Favorite food?I can eat fries by the bucket load Favorite foreign food?Italian food Are you a clean or messy person?I can be a bit chaotic when I’m busy but I think I am generally an organised person Most used phrased?Are you fucking kidding me Or I told you soMost used word?EpicHow long does it take for you to get ready?Maybe 30 minutes – I’m not an uber fussy person Do you have much of an ego?Lol I doubt it Do you suck or bite lollipops?Lollipops are gross Do you talk to yourself?Does talking to my characters count? Cuz yes. I will often startle people by randomly exclaiming ‘shut up/go away/not now’Do you sing to yourself?noooopeAre you a good singer?NooooopeBiggest Fear?Tornadoes I guess?Are you a gossip?Hell no. I never know what’s going on with anyone. What an awful habit. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?LOTR / The Hobbit??Do you like long or short hair?Short but my hair is getting rather long Can you name all 50 states of America?I can name about 30, maybe 40 on a clear dayFavorite school subject?English LitExtrovert or Introvert?Introvert Have you ever been scuba diving?No but I’d love to give it a try What makes you nervous?New places but I also love travelling to new places Are you scared of the dark?Only when there’s something spooky going on Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Depends on the person - I won’t do it to people I don’t know or am not close to Are you ticklish?Yes -.- Have you ever started a rumor?Nope Have you ever been in a position of authority?Yes and it isn’t fun Have you ever drank underage?Nope Have you ever done drugs?NopeWho was your first real crush?Some boy way back when How many piercings do you have?2Can you roll your Rs?Yes I can How fast can you type?Fast enough How fast can you run?Depends on what’s chasing me lol What color is your hair?Naturally? Black What color is your eyes?*are And they’re brown What are you allergic to?MY DOOR BEING LEFT OPENAlso, SundaysDo you keep a journal?I try my hardest to forget things, not chronicle them What do your parents do?Well my mother wakes up earlier than she needs to and starts with the dishes, does the laundry, cooks dinner and then…Do you like your age?It’ll do What makes you angry?Stupid people. Lack of common sense will immediately send me into rage modeDo you like your own name?Yes, I sure do Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I love the name Gavril for a son and Annoria for a daughter Do you want a boy a girl for a child?Can I have one of each please?What are you strengths?I am super fast at learning new things What are your weaknesses?Texting / calling I hate talking on the phone How did you get your name?I changed it because my parents gave me such a weird name and it didn’t stick. I ended up with a dozen different names.Were your ancestors royalty?Yes Color of your room?Grey and black Color of your bedspread?Black Make up your own questionI’m waiting, you devil!