#i'm trying so hard to stay away from spoilers but goddamn when i see a pic of that set i sob

[ex0tic-butters]

lil drawing of @amazingphil and @danielhowell :))

(click for better quality)

[imsoquarky]

Hi, Hello, I need to talk about Bruce

This beautiful man right here <3

IDK how much of this to consider spoilers for Trolls Band Together, so I'm doing all of it!

♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️ SPOILERS FOR BAND TOGETHER ♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️

Y'know, Branch's purple haired brother who's my favorite of his brothers for a few different reasons that I'm about to spew onto Tumblr at an unreasonable hour?

Okay so, Bruce is my favorite, and I think it's bullshit that the wiki calls him Spruce despite that not being his name anymore.

Trans headcanon? Maybe. Anyways!

I love how Bruce is written for many different reasons, I also love how he's handled when it comes to his body type.

1 minute before going on stage, JD says he expects 100 more crunches before show-time, which is insane considering Bruce (I know that's not his name at this point, but that is what we're calling him) has already done over 500, and 100 crunches in 60 seconds? I don't think that's even possible.

Ofc this is who JD is as a character, BUT THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT HIM, he's just a walking ick.

I can't imagine this kind of treatment, which is implied to have gone on for quite some time...

...would give anybody a positive view of their body. I'm not going to add things on to make JD a worse person, even if I don't like him, but from what bits and pieces we do see, he puts more emphasis on Bruce's physical body than any of his other brothers.

For his other brothers, it's more about their clothing and personality presentation. Bruce? The emphasis was his body, abs specifically.

It's not like he wasn't proud of them, but I feel as if they were another thing that still connected him to JD. All the brothers changed things about themselves that JD put emphasis on (Except Floyd, ig?).

But I'm straying away from the point I was trying to get to.

By the time we see Bruce again, he's lost the abs and put on some weight. However, this is not treated as a bad thing. Which I absolutely adore.

He's still perceived as attractive!! No jokes about "letting himself go" or even any jokes about putting on weight because he got married or whatever.

He's not muscular anymore, he's more laid-back and lives on VACATION ISLAND FOR FUCKS SAKE! He doesn't appear to have such a rigorous work-out routine anymore... Except his kids. I'd say having children 3 times your size would be intense.

Speaking of his children...

THIS MAN HAD THIRTEEN CHILDREN??? My man, why

But I digress.

Also, not only is him being plus-size not treated as a joke or a negative thing, but

HE STAYS THAT WAY!

Genuinely he makes me so happy, you guys have no idea. I love him.

Anyways, some smaller tid bits that I love about Bruce~

THIS MAN'S HAIR <3 <3 <3 <3 I will explode. ALSO THOSE BANGS AAAA

Him and his wife ughhhh <3 They're so goddamn cute.

Also we have a similar taste in women, which is "tall".

There are too many screenshots of his kids I could share, but I love dad Bruce.

This fucking quote.

It lives rent free in my brain and I laugh like a child every time I hear it.

Probably my #1 favorite quote from the entire movie I laughed so hard

Look at how cute he is here

Him looking so proud of his baby brother

Anyways it's 1 am and my alarm is set for 7 so ima go to bed. I have negative points about Bruce too that I do wanna touch on at some point, but I just needed to dump all my love for him.

This is my coping mechanism for finals week.

[basilone]

Hi Killy? How about #20 caffeine, dealer's choice for characters. Thank you!

Ooo, thank you for this one! 💙 I'm delighted at it being dealer's choice, as this got me to try my hand at writing my fave of faves: Rosie. I do hope I've got him down right! (Slight, slight spoilers for the most recent ep apply!)

caffeine

The base is somewhat beautiful when the sun’s still low. There’s a slight haze hanging just above the dewy grass, too thin to be a full-on fog but lending this early morning a particular enchantment all the same. Gold streaks flicker through the last vestiges of night. If she squints at the treeline hard enough, its greens will mingle with the twinges of red in the dawn. Like Christmas painted through a misty window.

It’ll be a while before Christmas comes, now, though the mornings aren’t getting any warmer.

Imogene puffs up her cheeks. Blows warm air between her hands, then rubs them together briskly. She’s forgotten her gloves again. Margaret’s not about to loan out her perfectly good set of spare gloves, either, if that glare from earlier is anything to go by. And Jeannie is nice and all, but the knitwork on her gloves is absolutely drenched in perfume. Imogene lets out a sigh. Contemplates the risks associated with running back to her bunk and praying her own gloves will be in the place where she put them last.

Truth is, she hasn’t got the time. Jeannie’s already taken off at a dead run for the bathroom for the second time in an hour, which has got Margaret fuming in a way that’ll at least make sure the sink’s going to be so spotless you could eat out of it. Imogene would be more worried about Jeannie if this wasn’t already the fourth time a girl like her was prone to retching her guts out in the morning and being just fine and dandy in the afternoon.

These girls, like some of the men, barely stay long enough to learn their names.

And then, of course, there are those few who seem to stay a lifetime.

“One for the road, Captain Rosenthal?”

His answering laugh is soft, but his joy somehow never fails to meet his eyes. “If you can spare me a cup, yes. Thank you.”

“It’ll be a little minute, sir, sorry.” Imogene shoots him the closest thing she’s got to an apologetic smile. “I hope you can wait that long to get your latest dose of caffeine. These new coffee makers are a bit slower on the uptake.”

Captain Rosenthal hums a little to himself. “I believe I can find the time for it this morning, Imogene.”

“Glad to hear it, sir. Congratulations on your twenty-fifth, by the way!” She’d meant to say that about five days ago, but the party had turned raucous and strange in equal measure before she’d had the chance. And the men had been pretty tightly knit around him, at least before the mood had taken another tailspin downward. “When are you due to go home? Is it a ways away yet?”

He shifts his weight from foot to foot the way he always seems to do when contemplating something important. His gaze fixes on the horizon. Well past the planes on their hardstands, beyond the line of trees and buildings. Like there’s something in the early morning sky only he can see.

Imogene waits him out the way she always does. There is no hurrying Robert Rosenthal, not when he is pondering something important before his first coffee of the day. He might have something interesting to say once the idea lands and takes root inside him. Last time, he had made a small comment about bird migratory patterns that had somehow evolved into a conversation about penguins at the zoo. The time before that, he had asked her something about hairpins – not a topic for a man, or so Margaret had scoffed after – before he’d leaned forward ever so slightly and told her some of his men might have gotten their hands on a second helping of chocolate through the cunning use of hairpins. (DeBlasio, if she had to name one. It’s always the goddamn Italians getting into trouble on this base.)

“I’m not too certain Florida will agree with me.” His smile is almost remorseful, as if he has contemplated the idea and found himself to be rather like a fish out of water. “I’d miss this weather. Gruesome chill in the air this morning.” He shudders just a little, more to himself than to her. “And I have to say, Imogene, I’d be hard-pressed to find better coffee than this.”

“Now you’re just flattering me, sir,” she laughs, grabbing a pristine white cup for him. “We do what we can, but the stateside coffee just tastes better if you ask me. I dream about it sometimes.”

“The perfect cup of coffee? Bit of milk, two sugars. Little bit of foam on top, perhaps.” There’s a twinkle in his bright eyes as he steps closer, keenly awaiting his morning shot of caffeine. “What is your poison of coffee choice in this world, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Imogene hums to herself. “Bit of milk, bit of caramel, sir.” She almost wishes she had enough time to foam the milk up a little, give it a bit of a whisk before stirring it into his cup. “The sugar’s too cloggy. Caramel syrup works just as well to sweeten it.”

“I take it there is no secret stash of caramel syrup on base here?”

“You”– she gestures with the little spoon –“would be correct, Captain. Perhaps you can sneak me some, once you’re back home?”

The shadow that passes over his face is gone as swiftly as it came, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t see it. Imogene sucks in a rather noisy breath. Feels a chill swoop down and back up her spine in a way that’s got very, very little to do with the morning cold of early March. He glances back at the horizon a moment. Wistful, her mind supplies. Then: yearning.

She’s seen it before. In Major Cleven and Captain Rivers, every time they were kept on the ground too long. In Major Egan, once Major Cleven had vanished and left a hole in the fabric of reality itself. In Stella Lombardi, whose eyes never quite seem to meet the ground anymore, and in Two, who might just survive them all. There’s something in the set of their shoulders. Something in their eyes, once you know where to look.

Imogene looks. Sees. “You’re not going home.”

Blue eyes, brighter than any morning, meet her gaze. “Not just yet.” His confession hangs in the air between them a moment. She fills up the space with a mostly full cup of coffee, milk and sugars already stirred in, and is proud when her hand does not tremble. “We have work to do here, don’t we, Imogene?” His bare hand brushes her own before he lifts the cup in clear gratitude. “Thank you for the coffee, as always.”

She takes a deep breath. Steadies herself on the counter, just out of his keen gaze’s reach. “You’re very welcome, sir. Same time tomorrow, then?”

A laugh startles out of him, bright and beaming and so alive that she wants to cry. “Same time as always, ma’am.”

[jae-birde]

The Legend of Vox Machina Liveblog: Episode 2

I just finished the second episode of TLOVM season 3, and this breakdown got long.

(I reference the campaign again some, so if you don't want spoilers for that, maybe stay clear from my breakdown)

(Breakdown under the cut)

Starting off immediately with Orthax and Ripley is exactly what I wanted holy shit. I need to know if Percy's okay

holy shit is it just me or does Orthax look even more terrifying here? because he does to me oh my gods.

"You left it a whisper, but that whisper found me" Is the word choice of "whisper" intentional? Because I'm just thinking of the Vestige rn

Okay, that shot of Percy with Ripley walking away reflected in his glasses is SO GOOD. WHY DOES IT GO SO HARD

And Ripley admittedly looks really badass with Orthax coming up behind her like that (it's mostly bc of Orthax tho) And the delivery of her last line there? So good

I've talked about it before but HOLY SHIT THE INTRO GOES SO HARD

THE MUSIC IS AMAZING

THE ANIMATION

THE GODDAMN STORYTELLING HOLY SHIT

Gods above it just makes me so much more hyped for the whole show omg

Keyleth immediately blaming it on Raishan, lol. In character

Oooo, the idea of using Mythcarver to find Ripley + Percy. I don't think they ever did that in the campaign, though I might be mistaken lol

Vax amping up his flirtiness with Gilmore to get him to help, heh, I don't think that'll work

Oh, never mind it did work

OOOOOO, DESGUISE SELF, COOL!

Omg I turned on subtitles for when Gilmore was speaking Marquesian, and it actually had the translations! That's so cool!

And ah, yes. The twins sneaking in together. Honestly? The best two to go in

Aaaaannndd now Ripley monologuing about spreading the guns around Exandria. Perfect

Okay, but they're actually making Ripley's point seem somewhat understandable. Like, I get where she's coming from, but she's def not seeing the whole picture about the guns. Like, if everyone in Exandria had one, it would be, like Percy said, chaos. Plus I still absolutely despise her.

OOOOOO, RIPLEY WANTS THE VESTIGES AS A POWER SUPPLY

I honestly never thought too much about why she wanted them in the campaign, but this is interesting!

And now we're back to the twins!

Honestly, a little sad we didn't get the absolute madness that was Vox Machina trying to cover their tracks at the murder scene, as we saw in the campaign, but I def understand why they didn't. Plus, this is really interesting to see the twins investigating!

OMG CLASP MENTION

"Oh, I'm Vax, I was in a thieves' guild, I'm so cool" "seven days a week" gotta love the sibling teasing and banter between the two of 'em! XD

OOOP, THE OTHER GUARDS MIGHT BE CATCHING ONTO GILMORE, FUCK

Poor Gilmore, man. If the spell he used is the same as Disguise Self in D&D, then he was waiting out there for almost an hour for the twins.

OH NO, A GUARD SPOTTED THEM, FUCK

OMG KAYLIE! YAY

And Scanlan is such a proud dad watcher her too, aww. (I doubt she'll appreciate it much tho)

"That's my daughter up ther" OMG HE'S SO SO PROUD I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH

DOCTOR DRANZEL! Everyone give it up for Dr. Dra!

NICODRANIS MENTION?

And we're once again at Ripley. Of course

OH FUCK MASS PRODUCED GUNS POWERED BY VESTIGES? FUCK NO

"Once the weak rise up, what's to stop the oppressed from becoming oppressors" THANK YOU PERCY, THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING

"That's why I need you Percival, you understand humanity far more than I" Yeah, bitch, it's cuz you aint got much left

PERCY NO DON'T SAY YES DON'T SAY IT. PERCY NO.

PERCY YOU BETTER BE PLANNING SOMETHING I SWEAR TO THE DAWNFATHER I WILL REACH THROUGH THE SCREEN AND BEAT YOUR ASS IF YOU HELP HER

omg the rest of the party's at a Gilmore rip-off. Why is that so funny?

"I'm sorry about earlier, I just-" "Didn't believe me? No one does." KIKI BABY NO

Keyleth, stop lying, it's clearly not fine, you need to talk to someone about this!

Vex worrying about Percy, ah! My heart can't take it!

OMG SHE CARES SO MUCH FUCK GLINTSHORE IS GONNA HURT SO FUCKING BAD FUCK

Vax clearly SEES how much his sister cares for Percy, you can see it so clearly on his face.

Omg, is that the githyanki skull over where Grog was looking?

Oh, Grog playing along with the kids, he's so freakin' cute, I love him so much.

Okay, but Grog is actually lowkey really clever for asking the kids about that

Grog I adore you

OMG IT'S THE CLIP

IT'S THE CLIP THAT DROPPED THE SAME DAY AS THE MIGHTY NEIN SNEAK PEAK

I KNOW THIS SCENE

"There are times to talk and times to fight, but sometimes you've just gotta run" That's a really good quote by Pike

Holy shit what kind of armour do the guards have? damn that's cool

PLS DON'T GET ARRESTED GILMORE

FUCK HE GOT ARRESTED

Omg Vax is fucking Narruto runnign. First Percy, now him? lol

Aaaannnddd, now we're back to Scanlan & Kaylie. Say what you will about splitting the party, but it adds a lot of intrigue to a show like this!

"You're not making this easy on me are you?" "Did you make it easy on me and mum?" Scanlan, she's definitely got you there

Okay, so my first thought was don't mention the vestige, but if Kaylie found out later than she'd definitely be more upset he lied, so good job Scanlan!

Scanlan I swear to god if you run off because you're worried about being accused of being one of the "foriegners who killed someone", I will punt you. You CANNOT leave Kaylie again, I will actually reach through the screen to punt you, I'm warning you

Okay, it cut. He better not fucking run.

Percy, I will beat your ass later assuming you're not trying to play Ripley, but also I feel bad for him considering he has to listen to the demon that was in his head for several years talk about wanting his soul to the woman who literally tortured him. Cannot be easy

"That is very disconcerting" LITERALLY WHAT I'M SAYING

PERCY WHAT ARE YOU DOIJNG YPOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS DONT WORK WITH THE BITCH

NEVER MIND I LOVE YOU PERCY KILL THE BITCH

Wait, the plate was damaged. OH MY GOD IS IT A FAKE?

OH FUCK ORTHAX AND RIPLEY (also the shot with Ripley holding Percy by the throat and Orthax curling above lowkey goes hard)

Ooooo, Ripley DID get the black and orange eye! Cool!

FUCK YEAH VEX SAVE YOUR MAN

COMING IN LIKE A BADASS I LOVE THIS WOMAN SO FUCKING MUCH

FUCK YEAH GROG

FUCK NO RIPLEY YOU BITCH

VOX MACHINA GET HER ASS

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH NO ONE SPEAK TO ME PERC'AHLIA HUG PERC'AHLIA HUG I'M GOIGN TO COMBUST

"I thought I'd lost you" "I'm here, Vex'ahlia" And what if I just died, huh? Because I love them so much (and also because Vex does lose Percy and there is a time where he won't be there, and fuck I'm sad again) AND OMG THE WAY THEY ARE HOLDING EACH OTHER I CAN'T I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THE WAY SHE LEANS INTO HIS HAND

I'M GONNA DIE AND THEY ARE THE REASON I LOVE THEM

YES KIKI FREEZE RIPLEY'S ASS

OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT RIPLEY'S GUN. FUCK

VEX NOOOOO! OH NO OH NO OH NO OH FUCK

OH FUCK NO VEX GOT SHOT AND PERCY'S GONNA HAVE A GUILT COMPLEX OVER IT BEING HIS FAULT AND I SWEAR NO ONE BETTER BLAME PERCY OR I WILL RIOT

YES KEYLETH BREAKING OUT THE SUNLIGHT SPELL, QUEEN!

Oh fuck i thought Vex was hit in the shoulder not the chest FUCK (at least it's not lethal tho)

OH GOD THE MIXING OF RIPLEY'S AND ORTHAX'S VOICES IT'S JUST LIKE S1 WITH PERCY

Oh fuck VEX

Thank SARENRAE Pike was there my god. Also really good to get the bullet out, I was worried about that too

"You saved me. Twice." "What would you do without me?" *Cradles Perc'ahlia in my hands* No, you don't understand, I would die for them

FUCK THE GUARDS ARE HERE

THAT'S NOT GOOD

OMG J'MON SA ORD IS COMING IN, HELL YES! I cannot WAIT to see what they'll look like!

SCANLAN NO, DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE

Scanlan I swear if you get you're daughter arrested we will have words

Scanlan, if you keep acting like this, you're gonna make it worse. You can't be distracted for this conversation, man!

"The truth is, when I'm on stage, I'm golden. Straight fire. But when the lute goes down, I kinda... I don't know who I am." Oh Scanlan, the poor man. I appreciate that we're getting into these issues earlier, like, it's so clear throughout Campaign 1 that Scanlan struggles a lot with who he is, but hearing him actually really talk about it, especially before his Bard's Lament, is something I appreaciate.

SCANLAN, THEY AREN'T EVEN LOOKING FOR YOU

JUST TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER MAN

OMG VOX MACHINA IS ABOUT TO MEET J'MON SA ORD, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT (...let's just hope they don't fuck it up)

Percy, darling, don't blame yourself, please

OMG THE SMILE THAT PERCY GIVES VEX I CAN'T. AND THE SMILE SHE GIVES HIM. They are seriously trying to kill me with the amount of Perc'ahlia this season. AND IT'S THE SECOND EPISODE

I appreciate them showing Vex sensing J'mon, considering they are a dragon too.

OMG J'MON LOOKS SO GOOD

And them having (what I presume is) a pseudodragon is such a nice touch!

yeah, i don't think talking it out is gonna quite work Gilmore, but good shot!

Keyleth, honey, I love you, but I don't know if this is gonna help!

"Where you not here to steal them?" Oop. Caught red-handed. I Y'all better say that you were gonna ask or you're basically screwed.

Vax, you idiot.

Oh fuck, this is exactly the problem with Percy existing in Ank'harel at this time, Ripley is fucking things up. As she does

PERCY NO

I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO PROTECT EVERYONE ELSE BUT DARLING NO

Oh fuck and him saying "i take full responsibility" is him saying that he takes responsibility for Ripley and Orthax, because they were his problem first and in his mind he "let them" get here. Fuck

Vox Machina trying to convince J'mon of their collective innocence vs. Percy's raging guilt complex. Which will win?

Oh god, Vex's face. Oh no

THE TRANSFORMATION? WHAT THE FUCK

FUCK VEX'S FACE AS THEY'RE BEING DRAGGED OUT NO FUCK PERCY

Oh my GOD Scanlan are you shitting me? Did you get the fucking Sandkeg's Hide? Please tell me you didn't. This is a conversation to be SOBER

"I just wanna be in your wife, I mean life" Scanlan you are clearly too drunk for this

Scanlan. Man. Please. Good god, I feel bad for Kaylie because she has to deal with this.

Oh Kaylie, honey no, he does wanna change, he just doesn't know how yet.

Oh, I feel bad for Scanlan too. Fuck

Finally! Finally, Vox Machina found him!

Aw, Pike jumping in to protect him <3

Oh, poor Scanlan. He's really struggling rn, and I feel so bad because I know that it gets worse

Vex, I know you're worried, trust me, so am I, but c'mon, the man is struggling!

I'm onto Percy's next bit now. *chuckles nervously* what the fuck

OH FUCK THAT'S WHAT J'MON MEANT WHEN THEY SAID TRANSFORMATION

Oh Percy, darling, FUCK I'M GONNA CRY

OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING THIS IS SOME FREAKY SHIT GOING ON

OH GOD HIM SEEING VOX MACHINA FOR A MOMENT STOP MY HEART

Scanlan coming in clutch with the "OBJECTION" thank FUCK

Okay, but the guards picking him up by the arms and him staying exactly how he was is unreasonably hilarious

Oh god, he's still drunk. Fuck. This might go terribly

WAIT OH MY GOD WE'RE GETTING BURT REYNOLDS THE LAWYER NOW OH MY GOD YES

Using Mythcarver to prove Percy's innocence is actually GENIUS

Holy shit the animation when J'mon uses Mythcarver and their eyes light up and hair gets all flowy and shit goes HARD

OH FUCK ORTHAX SAW? FUCK

Can we all just say together THANK YOU SCANLAN

OH MY GODS THE LOOK THAT PERCY AND VEX SHARED

AND HER HOLDING HIS HAND

FUCK I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Oh Scanlan, he still feels bad about how things went with Kaylie

OMG MORE FORGIVENESS TALK WITH PERCY AND VEX LETS GOOOO

"But I am to blame for what I made" I FUCKING CALLED IT. I KNEW THIS WAS HIS THOUGHT PROCESS

Also, can we talk about how beautiful this animation is? When it does the close up on Percy it looks SO GOOD

Like, LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS GORGEOUS

(yes I'm watching with subtitles, i wanna know what they say in Marquesian)

"And above all else, I just didn't want you to see me that way" PERCY DARLING, YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO MY HEART

OH MY GOD THIS SCENE IS BEAUTIFUL

I SIMPLY ADORE THEM

"I've been thinking long and hard about our options." "What'd you come up with?" "Nothin'. Just wanted you to know I'd been thinking" And this, everyone, is why I adore Grog strongjaw

I KNEW IT WAS A FAKE I FUCKING KNEW IT

MAGIC ITEMS THAT STRONG DON'T GET DAMAGED LIKE THAT, THEY DON'T

"I did the only responsible thing." Did you put the real one in the Hells?

"I hid it in a place beyond even Thordak's reach" It's the fucking Hells isn't it

"Are you familiar with the Hells of Despath?" I fucking knew it

WAIT ZERXUS? AS IN THE FIRST KNIGHT OF AVALIR DURING THE CALAMITY ZERXUS? HOLY SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK? OH MY GOD REALLY? PLEASE TELL ME THEY GOT LUIS CARAZO TO PLAY HIM PLEASE

OMG THE END CREDITS IS DRANZEL'S SONG

OMG IT'S ABOUT RUBY LAVORRE

I FUCKING KNEW IT

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING KNEW IT

Okay is this Matt singing? Because oh my god if is he is seriously so good! Whoever it is, but still

Okay, so I absolutely LOVED the episode! It was only like 25 minutes but it felt so much longer! (and that might've been because I kept pausing to write this, but shhhh)

This was really good, and I really enjoyed seeing everyone throughout the episode, and seeing the changes they're making too! It's so cool to see and I'm definitely looking forwards to what comes next! (i am both terrified and excited at the prospect of Glintshore happening soon, oh my god)

I don't have time to watch another episode rn, but this one was so good!

[anastacialy]

you know, with this third episode of hbo's the last of us series, the writers strayed farther from the source material than i ever thought possible, telling what was almost an entirely different story than the original game intended.

and i wouldn't change a single goddamn thing about what i just watched.

major spoilers under the cut.

my heart has been ripped from my chest. i wasn't expecting that in the slightest — i thought, yeah, we'd see a bit of bill and frank's backstory, then the content from the game would pick up, but i didn't think we'd get this beautiful feature-film about the two of them.

i had even made a comment to my partner just saying i hoped they'd make their relationship clearer as it had been mostly implied in-game. my expectations were low. and then they were completely blown out of the water. i'm trying to articulate my thoughts but it's so difficult. i cried so hard my chest felt like it was going to split open.

i feel like they stayed true to the characters, while changing the circumstances surrounding them. if this version of frank had been bitten, he'd have made the same choice as he did in-game. they even showed them fighting, both hot-headed, not always seeing eye to eye. bill would have grown far more bitter and angry without him, especially had he died while they were in an argument. but i am so glad that wasn't the choice the writers went with. yes, there were some imperfections about this plot, obviously i'm not going to deny that, but it may be a discussion for a later post. right now, i'm just taken aback by the whole thing.

i'll try to start at the beginning. obviously, there was a bit of interaction with joel and ellie, which i loved. they just went through something awful, they're still being defensive and standoffish and joel's life has just been torn apart yet again. and now he's saddled with this angry teenager who loves running her mouth. but we get some glimpses of his caring for her. him being worried when she's getting herself in trouble — i could write a separate essay about the choices she made in the shop basement, honestly, i probably will — and him trying to steer her away from the carnage and cruelty of FEDRA in the earliest stages of the outbreak.

i loved her acknowledgement of the fact that she was raised by FEDRA and therefore has gaps in her knowledge about how the outbreak occurred — "they don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic" what a line. i loved joel's explanation of the events. no one knows for sure, but it's stated so factually: so how many times must he have run it in his head? how many times must he have done the math, figured out why he didn't get sick, why sarah and tommy didn't get sick? why what happened happened the way it did. what an amazing addition.

and then, bill. ah, bill. made one thousand times more incredible by this adaptation of him. living every survivalist's dream. not without the tragedy we know lends him those resources, of course, but what a way of establishing how he came to be, his securing of the area, etc. it was believable, but more importantly incredibly fun to watch him work through each issue he faced. it was interesting to see they chose for him to live alone that way for four years, until frank stumbled into his life.

frank, who started out with ten people leaving his quarantine zone behind and ended up as the last alive. who knew how hard it was going to be to survive on his own. who took a chance, asking a stranger for help, and found his next sixteen years of joy beyond that electrified fence. i loved the way it was clear he may have been doing part of this all — the flattery, the flirting — in order to keep himself safe. but it was subtle, and it ended up working out, growing into something beautiful.

the way their first meeting went, the dinner and the wine and the piano. and the unexpected scene upstairs. it was so sweet and well done and they were a fantastic amount of awkward, and shy, and it was amazing. bill's nervous hands. the way that their kisses grew more familiar and natural as the episode went on. i feel like i'm already going on far too long — what could be said has been said by the show itself.

and what was also left horribly, tragically unsaid when it came to tess and joel. compared directly to the very-clearly-a-couple bill and frank, joel skirting around their relationship yet referring to tess as 'mine,' seeing her bright, excited, hopeful face interacting with frank when the wound of her death is still fresh on our minds. and that last heartbreak, which i'll circle back around to.

every scene with bill and frank was incredible. i loved the way they were written, both imperfect, both selfish and stubborn and frustrating in different ways. both incredibly loving toward one another. their fight, frank's insistence on making their home nice, the stores nice, the boutique nice. "let me love it the way i want to." frank growing strawberries in secret to surprise bill. tending to his bullet wound — i was truly afraid, as they had changed so much of their plot already, that was going to be the end of him. then, another ten years pass with a sigh of relief. bill carrying frank to bed, giving him his pills, caring for him.

and a heart wrenching decision made in the face of pain and health in decline. i liked that this now had little to do with the outbreak itself and instead with those who get left behind (pardon the title reference) in the thick of it. of course there are still other illnesses and disabilities, those don't just vanish in a pandemic. and without doctors, without access to medical care, what other choices get made. feels poignant for the moment, but again, the connections to real world events could be a separate post. and they likely will be, hah.

but frank's final day, what he has chosen to be his last day, mirroring their first day together absolutely ruined me. my heart, torn asunder. they dressed in their finest from the boutique frank had insisted on fixing years prior. "love me the way i want you to." marrying one another on the piano bench (something, maybe, that they hadn't thought too much about doing, before. their marriage wouldn't have been recognized when the outbreak started, certainly not everywhere. so they left it undone until it was almost the end.) the dinner. bill turning the plate with a little flair the way he had before. the wine. the fact that, in classic tragic romance, bill's wine was already drugged. that we don't know if he'd have even told frank he was choosing death too, had frank not called him out on it. but that he did, and we got to see them know they were going out, peacefully, in sleep, together.

and that last letter to joel, the final wrench to my heart. "there was one person worth saving. that's what i did. i saved him. then i protected him. that's why men like you and me are here." [...] "i leave you all of my weapons and equipment. use them to keep tess safe." again, acknowledging she was who joel cared for the way bill cared for frank. that final mention of her made me weep even harder than her death scene had. because it was a glimpse into the joy they might have had, if things were just a little different. a glimpse into what joel has just lost.

and that final shot a bookend to bill and frank's story, which had opened, unbeknownst to us, at the end of episode one. eighties music and two closed windows. then their song, and an open one.

this was all so far and away from the game's story. and i am so, so thankful that they changed so, so much.

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i debated saying anything, or talking about this at all. i know it's super personal and a very touchy subject and one that a lot of people shy away from or even hide. it's frowned upon to talk about and, for some, i know it's triggering to see it talked about it, but i kept thinking of one thing....

so, if seeing or discussing this is triggering to you? i understand. i get it. look away and don't click the readmore if discussing heavy mental illness topics and struggles/mentions of self-harm and suicide are something that you cannot handle. that is so valid and you need to keep yourself safe. skip this post and read the next and know i love you.

please understand that i am not looking for pity or for judgment. i am simply being transparent and real. i am advocating for mental health and for others that may be struggling too.

i will not go into much detail on what my bad news was. just know that it means another very crushing blow to my already non-existent self-worth and our financial status. it was such a crushing blow that it pushed me off an edge i had barely been hanging onto from months worth of physical health issues (christ i have had 3 surgeries since december and been in and out of the hospital.) it's been hard. it's been real hard and this was something i had put a ton of fucking work into and fought like hell for for over a year all for... nothing. all to be de-humanized and be forced to question what my worth at all is anymore or why i'm even here or why i should bother to keep going at all.

i won't lie. it got dark. it's still dark. i'm still struggling. it caused me to spiral into a near catatonic dissociation. i spent all day in bed crying before i just sat staring and out of it. all my brain could even think of was how much i wished i was dead. it's still there. i still question why i'm here, but i'm getting to the part where that gets a little bit better.

this is not a new fight to me. it's not. i had a complete, ugly mental breakdown in feb of 2020. jesus, february is a shitty month for me historically. i broke while at work - my job that i thought was going to be the career of my life and at the time i was going to college to further my study in. too much stress and too many years of masking and pushing everything away and ignoring...things i hadn't even realized i was doing.... and it was like someone had built a fucking damn around niagra falls. everything came rushing out all at once. these are things i am still trying to even begin to process. and when you snap, find yourself under a desk screaming and crying and trying to claw at your face at work? you don't come back from that. you don't get to stay at that job. my dreams and plans for the future washed away that night.

i didn't give up then. i went into intensive outpatient after several hours in a ward. i spent nearly 4 months in near daily several hours therapy and this was in the heart of the pandemic. it was at this time that i started attempting to finally transition. in the midst of everything, i was denied hrt for health reasons which only set off my shitty feelings and body image more. i closed myself back off and went non-binary again and convinced myself i didn't fucking deserve to live my life as the right goddamn gender and i needed to just accept and live life as a cis-woman. spoiler alert? that shit doesn't work. it will eat you alive.

i attempted to get jobs again. i had a seasonal job that i lost in jan of 2021. i got another job that i was placed in while working with a state vocational program. that one worked out well. it wasn't a fancy or great job by any means, but it was one i could do and could make money from. my boss was nice and i found parts of it interesting, but can you guess where this is going? my health popped back up. first i broke the scar tissue in my right hand where i had carpal tunnel surgery in 2020. then i got a concussion. then, out of nowhere, i started getting violently ill and was in and out of the ER like 4 times in 2 weeks for the worst pain i have ever felt. basically? my gallbladder went to fucking shit. i had to have it removed. in order to do that? they made me quit my job and come back when i was cleared post op to lift again.

i went back to the job. it didn't last long until a mishap with the pharmacy caused me to be off my meds for 5 days. this caused me to have a black out episode where i have no idea how i got there or why i was doing it but i was in the bathroom cutting myself. again. another trip to the psych er. they corrected the med issue and i got to go home. the takeaway from this? please please please please do NOT fuck around with your meds. don't just stop taking them. it's dangerous as shit. take care of yourselves.

i was fine for about a month until more stresses started to come back at me one after the other. they were piling up and i was breaking more and more. i admit it. i have next to none stress tolerance. i can't deal with change, especially sudden and a lot. i can't deal with blow after blow. i literally cannot process it or cope. it sucks and it sounds like i'm just being dramatic or a baby, but i mentally and physically just... can't. it's debilitating.

i found myself walking back home from a doctor's appointment and my ideations were running rampant. the next thing i knew, i started to make a move to walk into traffic. luckily, my brain pulled me back out of it and i damn near ran the fuck back home to tell my wife i was not okay and i needed to go to the er. this time? landed me in a full week of inpatient stay. that entire ordeal caused even more ptsd than i already have. it was traumatic as fuck and took me MONTHS of working with my therapist weekly on to even begin to process. it sucks, it does, but the mental health system is broken as fuck. a place like that should have been helpful and healing to me in a time like that, but it was anything but. it just kept me alive and i suppose that was part of the point and good enough.

by the time i was released, i had lost my job. they didn't even fire me to my face. just told my wife. the end of that year was... not good. nor was the beginning of 2022. i took the opportunity to go ahead and get my other wrist operated on for carpal tunnel and got both elbows (cubital tunnel) done in january and march of 2022 as well.

it was around this time-ish last year that my body image issues started to tank. my dysphoria was so bad i wouldn't even look in a mirror. i hated myself. everything about myself. the body i saw was not me and and i could not continue long that way. i met who became my closest friend and ally in this time. with his help and support.... i fought to fully transition. I literally do not know where I would be without him and I hope he knows that and how much he means to me. i came out publicly and socially completely and in july i finally got to start T. i am just over 7 months in and in may i have my consult for top. i'm getting there.

you would think this would mean i was finally happy and things should be good, right? while i am on a journey that has been a lifetime in the making and am changing daily and week to week closer to my true self? it's a very slow and long process. especially in a time like now when the rights of trans and lgbtqia+ people are constantly being threatened and challenged. it's scary and it's a struggle daily to be who i am. there are a lot of challenges that come with this and it is not an easy road and anyone who thinks we just up and choose to be this way can eat shit and fuck right off. nobody would choose this kind of pain and struggle.

to top that off... in case all of this wasn't clear? i have a giant list of things diagnosed and wrong with me. cptsd, ptsd, mood disorder, severe treatment resistant depression, anxiety disorder, borderline, gender dysphoria, panic attacks etc. these are things that don't just disappear. it means i still go to weekly therapy. it means i keep having to adjust to and come off meds and start new ones etc. it is a constant trial and error and a constant fight to keep going and be able to be better and just be okay. some days i'm fine and some days i'm not. sometimes i can be fine one moment and not the next. this is the nature of the beast.

so that brings us to now. once again... too many stresses.... too many blows one right after another snapped me. i broke and this time the difference is i knew it. i could feel it happening and see all the signs. the positive light here? in recognizing this, i knew i needed to fight like hell. i needed to get help. i knew i couldn't do this by myself. i can't keep going like this. so, i took the steps necessary yesterday to get in touch with my therapist and the location that handled my inpatient stay to get an assessment. this was so fucking hard to do because you run the risk of them saying you need to go inpatient. i took the risk because i knew i couldn't do this alone. bad things would happen.

so, that brings me to where we're at now. after being discussed with the psych on call, my assessment was recommended i do partial hospitalization. php is basically as intensive and the same thing as inpatient except you get to go home at the end of the day. this is the best possible outcome for me. i am scared shitless and it's a huge change and my social anxiety and ptsd for being back in the facility are through the fucking roof. i start monday. i'll be there monday-saturday 8am-3pm basically for 2-4 weeks. after that time, i will more than likely be moved into intensive outpatient for another 4-8 weeks. but you know what? i'm committed. i want to learn. i want to get better. i want the fucking help. it's not going to cure me, but it can damn well help me. that's all i want. (it's also breaking my heart that i now have to miss my best friend's wedding because i can't get out of the hospitalization. once i'm in, i'm in. it breaks me and i know he understands, but i wanted to be there for him and with him and it was important to me, but this can't be helped and i know that. it still hurts.)

so... that's my story. that's where i am. every day is a struggle, but right now... the struggle is damn near impossible. it is excruciating and it is draining of almost all of my emotional/mental/physical spoons/capacity. it makes daily life hard to even get through the day, it makes talking with people like i normally do extremely hard and it makes having enough brain power to be on here and get to anything substantial a crapshoot. some moments i can do it and have a lot of muse and feel the need to distract and writing has always been my favorite coping tool. but i just can't guarantee. i can't make promises about my activity and i hope that's understood and okay at this point. just know i WANT to be here. just know i am TRYING.

again... let me reiterate that i am not looking for pity in all of this. i'm not. honestly? i hope this HELPS at least one of you. i hope it shows you that sometimes it is okay to not be okay. it sucks, but it doesn't make you broken, even when it sure as fuck feels like you are. i hope it inspires someone to get help. i hope it makes someone remember to take their meds. i hope it lets someone know they are NOT alone. i hope it reminds someone to check in on a friend/love one. i hope it nudges someone to come out and be themselves and fight for who and what they are. why do you think i resonate with chris so much? why i love him so much? he fights. he never fucking gives up. no matter what. he grits his teeth together and he fights for himself and everyone he cares about.

"No one gets left behind. Not on my watch."

be kind to yourselves. know that you can always talk to me if you need to. if i have the spoons i will be here to listen and help if i can. know you are not alone. and most importantly?

remember that everyone behind one of these blogs that you're writing with or following... everyone on the street you see... we're all fighting our own invisible battles. you never know what someone is going through. you never know the struggle they're hiding. be kind to people, especially your fellow RPers. respect each other. lift each other up. befriend and love each other. nourish each other's creativity and hobby. stop fucking being so quick to break each other down.

mental illness is just as valid as physical illness.... you just can't SEE it. it's time to start treating it that way. it's time to stop looking down on people for what you don't understand. be glad you fucking don't if you haven't had to experience this shit then you're lucky. listen. be kind. learn. advocate.

Love, J

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[that-bajan-kid]

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 292 SPOILERS

(Pogchamp)

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Imagine staying away from Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter to avoid spoilers, only to get spoiled by a fUCKING WHATSAPP GROUP CHAT I'M SO MAD RN

Y'all better believe I freaked out when I saw this. I've seen lots of theories about this too. Mostly traitor!Kirishima since Bakugou's doing his pose and the other two are posing like villains. Also fan art. So. Much. Fan art. Now on to the chapter.

We see Jeanist in the plane getting ready to jump out while the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Todorokis plays in the background and he's not too happy about Dabi using his and his family's trauma to destroy hero society. I get that Dabi shouldn't have exposed Endeavour in the most damaging way possible for everyone involved but in his defence 1) it's not his fault Enji was a peice of shit to his family and 2) Dabi's a Todoroki, being dramatic is ingrained in their DNA.

YAS JEANIST FUCK EM UP. Bakugou you really should not be standing right now, I can see the pain it's causing you all over your face. So was it really a dead body in that bag? And Dabi, didn't you also not believe it was actually Jeanist or did the months of him missing convince you it was actually him?

Dabi is glowing like the sun and smoking like a Colorado wild fire which can't possibly be healthy for him. Dabi is all "Whatever bitch, the Todoroki family drama is to strong to be defeated by mere steel wires. Right, Shouto?" as Todoroki charges towards his previously-thought-to-be-dead older brother with some fire of his own. Compress and Spinner are talking about how Jeanist actually managed to subdue Machia and Spinner is all "Doesn't Machia have super strength tho?" and I'm here sitting in my seat wondering if the anaesthetic finally kicked in as Jeanist tightens the wire around Machia.

Spinner realises that Machia has been panting ever since they arrive, aka when his orders were full filled. So now he's disparately trying to wake Shiggy up so he can give Machia a reason to stay awake but then a wild Nejire-chan appears out of no where and she looks fucking pissed the fuck off and I am here for it.

FOR FUCK SAKE DABI GOD DAMNIT FUCK

Istg if she's dead I'm gonna fucking riot. Man Shouto is not having a good time. Midoriya better has sit his ass down. The fuck are you gonna do? Cry at them?? You ain't got no arms bitch.

Oh look a new background for my phone.

(Edit: I like how the heat from his flames are warping the panels)

Izuku you are physically incapable of doing anything rn. Yeah Shouto is in pain but at least his bones weren't turn to liquid. Is Jeanist talking about Endeavour or himself? Cause Hawks is down for the count and I'd be pretty pissed if Hori let Enji keep his hero licence after this.

There was a house. I think it might have been Tenko's, I'm not sure. So anyway, Shiggy woke up and he's thinking to himself "Damn I'm itchy but I can't move. Lemme fix that." and then orders Machia to break free. So Machia is doing that and now Jeanist with his one (1) lung are having a hard time keeping up.

It's been like six months since I last visited duolingo but I'm pretty sure those sound effects say "Aaaaa" which I find hilarious. I also completely forgot this was happening. Is Shiggy calling back the NHE? Cause the others are fucked if that's what's happening.

I had the ending of this chapter spoiled for me so I already know who that is which sucks all the fun out of it but I'll act like I don't know who it is out of respect for their character.

Oh my god Burnin was save at the last second who could it possibly be????????

This panel looks really cool also Shouto's flames?

So Dabi and Shouto are battling it out final agnikai style and Shouto is all "So your the one who sent that villain to our house!!?! NATSUO ALMOST DIED YOU ASSHOLE!!! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE BROTHER?!!!!?!!!" And Dabi's stone cold response is "But Endeavour would have suffered" so Shouto has the natural response of "HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MIND" to which Dabi responds with "YOUR GODDAMN RIGHT I DID." and how he no longer has the ability to care about anything anymore which is very sad but damnit this panel would look godly animated.

So Dabi is like "Now I can finally kill you" as he gets ready to kill Shouto and the NHE are showing up and Jeanist is completely out in the open now. Whatever shall happen now???? Oh dearist me. If only the heroes had another secret ace up their sleeve that was not in anyone's plans because of how unlikely it was to happen. I wonder.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN PAST TRAUMA AND CURRENT TRAUMA MIX IN THE MOST TOXIC, SELF DEPRICATING WAY POSSIBLE???? Izuku, who has done literally everything in his power to keep everyone from a groosome desintergrating demise, the one who is physically incapable of moving, is really sitting here calling himself a useless hero because his body's natural instinct to not die, which he still has apparently, is preventing him from floating head first into the arms of Death. BOI YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CONCIOUS RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN!??!!?

I swear if these kids don't get some therapy after this.

Oh my god it's lemillion what a surprise. Also, did he really just say "Pogchamp" lmfao. I'm still salty about being spoiled but that was really funny. How long has he had his quirk back? We know Aizawa has been training Eri's quirk but when did she get enough control to be able to fix him? I'm so glad she can control her quirk now cause it means she won't be scare of accidentally uno reversing someone out of existence.

Still very disappointed the Mirio reveal was spoiled for me. Pogchamp was hilarious but still. I'm sure the official translation will have him saying something boring like "POWERRRRRRRRR". Sigh. Welp time to commit verbal assassination.

Until next time.

[ernmark]

Hi I love all your penumbra metas. In the latest episode I'm still confused by what actually went wrong with the dome, was it the society or the dome that didn't work?

Is this gonna be a thing I do?

I am totally cool with this.

Again, major detailed spoilers for Promised Land under the cut.

And an anon asked:

Thanks for explaining the end of the episode! I’m a little confused about what happened with the dome in the first place. I mean, I know the free dome wasn’t real. And Erin tried to get her son(?) to get it to work and he was a giant dick trying to torture people looking for it. Did Erin set up the dome stuff prematurely? Did it ever exist? Marshall’s son felt really bad and wanted to warn everyone. Where did the hallucination gas fit in? Did Erin and company think they had it but didn’t?

One thing to keep in mind is that we’re deliberately not given the full story, so all we’re left with is bits and pieces that we can glue together to kind of get a vague impression of what happened, but the way I put them together won’t necessarily be the way you put them together. 

So let’s get to it, shall we?

Why was the Free Dome important?

Real estate on Mars is expensive, outside of super low-income neighborhoods like Oldtown, The Boiler, etc. 

This is because 90% of Mars’s surface is uninhabitable. If you want to live somewhere, you better be willing to fork over a ton of cash for a tiny place, or else you’re going to be buddying up with your immediate family/seven of your closest friends/etc. 

JUNO: Mars only has a couple cities and a few desertoutposts cuz the radiation will bake you like a potato if you stay out theremore than a few hours, and Domes can’t be built just anywhere. So if you want anew city, you’ve got to figure out how to build a place to build it. You haveto invent a better Dome.

Life cannot exist underground, because the ambient radiation is just too strong:

PILOT: A lot of space in this subway. I wonder why I neverbuilt anything down here. Some housing or something.

PIRANHA: People lose their marbles if they live under Martianground too long. Radiation burns, Brainswell…

STRONG: You know whatbeing under all this radioactive sand too long does to you? Drives you crazy.Makes you see things.

This is likely why the subway has been closed off everywhere except Oldtown– most likely it wasn’t safe for the people working there, or for the people using it for transit.

Oldtown was the only part of Hyperion City that still had a connection to the Old Subway, behind a boarded-up door in a nondescript office building. (Stolen City)

This is probably also why the only thing that lives in the sewer are giant mutant rabbits. 

Notably, though, both the subway and the sewer system are in fairly good repair because they’re both under Hyperion City and its protective dome. The same doesn’t hold true for structures built outside of that protection:

People hadbuilt things down here, signs and lights and tracks, but the radiation hadclearly done damage even this deep below the surface. Fixtures corroded. Trackslike time had taken a blowtorch to them.

Even the existing domes are fragile. We know that Hyperion City’s has some places that are protected better than others.

RITA: Well… sounds like a pretty bad sandstorm is gonna hit this afternoon. You’ll probably want to be out of Oldtown by then; the shield over there’s about as strong as used tissues. They went into lockdown three times just last month. (Day That Wouldn’t Die)

Our Man-Who-Wasn’t picked a good neighborhood to set up shop in: the Old Industrial District, a place blasted by sandstorms and cosmic rays so hard that not even the roaches would live there anymore. The shields protecting the rest of Hyperion didn’t reach this far, and so neither would most of its citizens. It was the perfect place to do bad business – so long as you didn’t mind a tumor or two. (Prince of Mars)

That’s important: You can’t build domes just anywhere, and the domes that do exist have to be heavily shielded from sandstorms and cosmic rays. 

If you can solve those two problems, then you can build a dome wherever you want, you can build as many of them as you want, and all the unclaimed land on Mars is effectively yours for the taking– and that means that you now have the power to decide who gets to live there and who doesn’t. Do you give affordable housing to anyone who wants it, like Erin Marshall D’Arc? Or do you do like Pilot wanted, and make the hyper-wealthy pay top dollar so they can have their own personal golf course? Either way, that’s an incredible amount of power.

The Family D’Arc

So we have three main characters in this story: Erin, the scientist; Marshall, her son; and his kid, Domer 3 (they’re never given a name, but that’s what the script calls them).

We started in a reception hall that didn’t lookprepared to receive anybody. There were portrait frames on the walls, but mostof them were empty, and the ones that weren’t just showed family photos. A momand her son –- the D’Arcs, probably. The kid all grown up, moody, wild-eyed.The only full portrait in the room had the face scratched out – and theydidn’t look like Erin or Marshall. 

Erin was a military scientist who thought she had a solid technology on her hands, and believed in it enough to run away with a group of other believers. Erin was an optimist who seemed to genuinely believe in her Utopian dream.

After her death, her son Marshall took over leadership of the dome.

MARSHALL: Cuz Ma might’ve had allthat crap about everyone being her neighbor or whatever, but guess what? She’sdead.

The character descriptions in the script talk about how Marshall was a believer who wanted desperately to be good enough, but neither he nor the Free Dome ever lived up to expectations, and that broke him.

But all of that is background information. From what we see in the episode itself, Marshall was… not a nice person. His tests were murderous, sadistic, and full of gaslighting and victim-blaming, and the way he addressed his prospective “neighbors” was nothing short of abusive. 

So you’reprobably wondering why I stopped you out in these irradiated badlands, with allthe oogidies and the boogidies waiting to getcha. I’ve got three answers forthat. Answer one: it’s none of your business. Two: my testing materials havegot to last a long time, forever probably, and it’ll help wear-and-tear if lessof you make it to them. Three: it’s still none of your goddamn business.

“Anyone whowishes to enter the Free Dome must be generous, and give more of themselvesthan they can afford. So sit upon this Chair of Charity and give to us… fromyour blood.”

Congratulations.You’re a very generous idiot. Here’s the Dome… and here’s your blood back,weirdo. Just do me afavor: if you feel like you’re gonna bite the big one, show yourself out,alright? We’re already behind schedule without cleaning up your carcass.Marshall out.

That’s it!Easy, right? Just hold the Dome and walk straight. No matter what. You hear me?No matter what. (AN UNDERCURRENTOF DARK, DARK ANGER) And if youknow what’s good for you, you’ll listen.

That’s way beyond unreasonable. But it wasn’t just toward the test-takers. His kid flat out tells us that this was regular behavior for him.

Dad was a good guy, too. I mean… well, no hewasn’t. 

I never met her, but Dad… Dad wasn’t good beforethe radiation either.

(Notably, this is the same kind of language that Juno uses to describe his own mother.)

We don’t know Domer 3′s name, but we know that they lived outside of the dome with Marshall long enough to know him (and his abuse) before the radiation made him worse; we also know that Erin didn’t live to meet her grandchild. 

After Marshall presumably died, Domer 3 seems to be the last person here. They recorded warning messages to keep everybody away, and encoded a kill switch into the final recording so that once it was activated, nobody could enter the Free Dome again.

There is a fourth character here, but we only know them incidentally. I don’t know whether they were Marshall’s ex-partner or his co-leader, but Marshall really did not like this person:

MARSHALL: … a test tosee how generous you are. You want in you gotta have a sense of charity. Notlike that weasel Malvin, I swear ifyou’re listening to this, Mal, I’m gonna tear your—

Alright, fine.Test of Faith. You’ve got to do whatever I say exactly, right? That’s how youprove you can be faithful. That you’re going to listen when I tell you to dosomething. That you’re not just going to run out. Malvin.

I suspect Malvin is not Domer 3, because otherwise Domer 3 would have been given a name in the script. Also because Malvin clearly left on their own terms, whereas Domer 3 was clearly the last one there.

So what went wrong?

As near as I can put it together, there were two main problems, one structural and one societal.

Structurally, the dome tech just didn’t work.

I’m sure it did in the short term– after all, the dome sample that Pilot received was powerful enough to protect them from most of the dangers of the third trial, and it was stated to be a much less powerful version of the real thing. 

I genuinely believe that Erin set up her city on the other side of those doors in the end. But what worked in a lab setting just couldn’t hold up to the brute force of sandstorms and constant cosmic radiation. As soon as the dome failed, everybody had to rush back into the relative safety of the underground areas on the other side of the door. The ruins of the city were likely warped by radiation and ground up by sandstorms until they were reduced to nothing at all.

Underground, Erin kept trying to fix the dome tech, and then brought in her son to give it a go. Both of them failed.

I wish they made it. I wish it was possible. Erin, I think she really thought, even if she couldn’t do it… maybe Dad could. She believed in him so much. And when he realized he couldn’t make it work, he just… (BIG SIGH) It was bad. He was… bad.

They were underground in the facility long enough that they started to hallucinate death millipedes, undercrows, and from the sound of it, the functioning dome itself:

I don’t know how it happened. The undergroundradiation, maybe, making them see things, or… maybe they just wanted to see it. 

What exactly happened to them isn’t elaborated upon, but the implication is that they assumed that the tech worked and walked into the desert unprotected, which killed them within a few hours.

(Just to clarify: there was never any hallucinatory gas; the hallucinations were a result of the brainswell, which was in turn a result of the underground radiation.)

But there were some societal issues at play, too.

I’m gonna step back for a second into the real world: historically, there have been a handful of experimental Utopian colonies over the years, with varying degrees of success. A common thread, though, is that a lot of them tend to fall apart when people stop dividing things evenly and start hoarding and hiding an unfair share of the goods for themselves (among other things). The test of charity suggests that this is one of the things that went down here. Once again:

MARSHALL: … a test to see how generous you are. You want in you gotta have a sense of charity. Not like that weasel Malvin, I swear if you’re listening to this, Mal, I’m gonna tear your—

But it’s not the only thing that went wrong. 

Erin’s answer to a galaxy-ending conflict wasn’t to address any of the existing problems that broke the world, but to just pack up and move somewhere else.  Which is not that great of a strategy.

Your wholething is that the world’s a train wreck, so you open up a new city and just letanybody who wants walk in? That’s not anew world. That’s not a utopia. That’s the old one all over again. Justsmaller.

Erin’s strategy was apparently to please everybody, which is also not a great leadership strategy, especially in a small place with limited resources. Marshall had a lot of things to say about that, but he wasn’t much better. Apart from being seriously abusive, Marshall wasn’t the kind of leader that could command respect, which he clearly resented. 

… what isthis, second? Uh, Test of Faith, how about that? Listen to whatever I say.Somebody’s got to. Somebody should.

Hey, you listened. Nice work. If you’re alive. Which you probably aren’t. Because you probably didn’t listen. Nobody does. Why would you? Why would anybody? 

On a societal level, the Free Dome was doomed to fail even before the brainswell started making people hallucinate and taking away their ability to think rationally.

From the sound of it, people stopped listening to the D’Arcs, they started hoarding things, and then they started leaving or dying, until the only ones left were Marshall and his kid. And then it was just Domer 3, who shut down the whole thing and walked away.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: This is dire Rio: but effective contraception, like Buster: Swap with me Buster: I know my mum wants that lesson drilled into me, like Rio: Happily, Indie is so gutted she weren't allowed to be on team lads lads lads today Buster: I bet Buster: Never been more buzzing to be one Rio: That's saying something, you were such a baby misogynist Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm already mad at you Rio: Bringing it back for the day are we? Buster: Might do Buster: 😂 Rio: Rude Rio: What did I do to you, except let Indie borrow your shirt soz about it Buster: Her wearing my clothes instead of you ain't how I want it Buster: You had the perfect excuse, babe Rio: She was in need Rio: I had too many choices Buster: Well, me too Buster: Of seeing you in my shirt and nothing else Rio: There's always later, babe Rio: When I get it off you, like Buster: Great compromise, babe Buster: I like how you're thinking Rio: Got nothing but time here Rio: It's seriously awkward Rio: thank fuck for the kids for distraction Buster: And you've always got me Buster: Christ knows you distracted me with the outfit you did choose Rio: 💗 Awh baby Buster: You look so good Buster: We should go out later Rio: Please Rio: Gotta salvage this look and day Buster: I wanna make the most of every minute I've got left with you before I have to go back for school again Rio: Same Rio: Final stretch now though Buster: Yeah Buster: Thank fuck Rio: Family functions are so boring without you Buster: Come to the pub, seriously Buster: Janis is loving it Rio: I wish, there isn't enough of a party amotsphere here to slip outta Rio: gotta do my part Rio: she's loving life by default for dashing that matching sequin moment Buster: 😂 Buster: I can't say the same 'cause granddad is likewise feeling it and there's a proper party mood Buster: off Nan's leash like Rio: 😂 Rio: dont get used to it like, if a bitch refuses the dress code she can leave early, like Buster: Has she actually? I thought he was joking Rio: 'Course Rio: the silent protest we all needed Buster: I could've sorted her out as well Buster: But you know it could be worse Buster: If the booze was flowing there like it is here, especially Rio: I'd love to see you offer 😂 Rio: Yeah, apart from Indie we all being very reserved for that reason Rio: can't live the cliche of this ending in a brawl Buster: I'll drop her a text right now Buster: It ain't too late, yeah? Rio: She gonna fight you and Grandad when she get there Rio: You're funny Buster: I need the practice Buster: I haven't been to the gym enough this hol Rio: Could've fooled me Rio: 😍 Buster: You're cute Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Rio: I might go get a drink Buster: A drink or a drink? Rio: Oh don't, we've played enough cringey games today Rio: a drink drink Buster: Cheers then Buster: I can't tell you not to, 'cause I'm well on it Rio: 🥂 Buster: I reckon you've got competition for the shirt off my back by the way Buster: Pablo is eyeing every label Rio: Yeah watch him fr Rio: also glad that's what you meant 'bout to go 👀 on you 0-100 like Buster: What can I say? I may have deliberately phrased it how I did Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't be mad, you know I like it when you get like that about me Rio: If you like it then lemme be mad 😜 Rio: can't have it both ways baby Buster: As long as you're not properly mad Buster: You're having a shit enough day, like Rio: Nah, I'm good Rio: though I can't convince your Sister to drink with me Rio: in bad company, like, Drew is gone Buster: It's probably for the best that she won't, fun as a drunk Nance sounds, she might go harder than Nan in changing the mood Buster: I'm sure Indie would though, nobody wants to be at that thing less than she does, right? Buster: Except Drew maybe Rio: My dastardly plan, obvs Rio: draws the line at calling you out, clearly 🙄 Rio: Guess so but not really tryna get her crossfaded like I'm him Buster: Standard Buster: The 🚬 will wear off well fast though, especially if she got it from Drew, like Rio: [Sends Indie's snap] Rio: She ain't playing Rio: had to hide 'em in my bag like the meanest bitch ever 'cos the kids nearly got hold Buster: She ain't thought that through Buster: Clearly not thinking though so Buster: Did she hear from that lad yet? Rio: Yeah, other day, like Rio: He's a twat but she was pretty buzzin' Rio: what can you do Buster: 🥊 him Rio: It ain't him I need to keep away Rio: she's gotta get over it herself, like Buster: Don't act like it wouldn't feel good still Rio: Obviously Rio: I gotta be the good guy tho 😇 so when it goes tits, she's not gotta hate on me instead, like Buster: Yeah Buster: But I won't tell, babe Buster: You can be as bad as you want with me Rio: Yeah? Rio: That's good 'cos I've already got a surprise for you later Buster: Yeah? Buster: Do I get any spoilers? Rio: It's pink Buster: In theme Buster: Nicely done Rio: Knew you'd like it Buster: I'm trying to think what you're planning Buster: Excuse me lads Rio: Yeah, don't make it a pub quiz tah 😏 Buster: 😂 Rio: I told you I had too many outfit options Buster: Behave Buster: You're gonna make me blush Buster: Keeping it pink, like but Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: but okay, save your blushes babe Buster: How long for? When can we leave Buster: I want to be with you now Rio: Patience Rio: You said you'd take me out first Buster: I will Buster: But I can still take you up against a wall when we are, can't I Rio: Who are you if you don't, like Rio: gotta make my day somehow Buster: Think about how I'm gonna make you feel, that'll be a start Rio: It's helping Rio: can't get too happy like, start looking outta place Buster: I'm sure you can find some privacy somewhere Buster: You're a smart girl Rio: Yeah but can you? Or are you gonna sit there and have me like it ain't no thing Buster: How do you really want me, baby? Rio: Boy 😩 Buster: Tell me Buster: I'll stay or go, whatever you say Rio: Stay there Rio: I like the idea of it Buster: Then I won't move Rio: I'm gonna go to my room, no particular reason, like Buster: Yeah you are Rio: Okay, now what am I gonna do? Buster: Make me regret saying I won't move Rio: Easy Buster: We'll see won't we Rio: You will Rio: I already got a pretty good view Buster: I bet you do Buster: Show me something Rio: Not to be that bitch but I think someone else is coming up 😑 Rio: Hold on babe Buster: 😒 Buster: I'll be here Rio: Oh, okay, it was just Diego getting some shit from his room Buster: Good Rio: How I ever got any fucking done in this house was a miracle Buster: It's inspiring Rio: You know the hero you deserve and need Buster: Coming for my 👑 but yeah Rio: There's room for 2 rulers, babe Buster: I know babe Buster: We're living it Rio: 😊 Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Rio: Can I pretend that I can't hear my name being called? Buster: You have to 'cause I'm not the one saying it Rio: I like that rule Buster: It's just me and you Buster: Pretend that for me Rio: Yes Rio: I want that so bad Buster: You need it Buster: Tell me how badly Rio: Bad Rio: as bad as I wanna be for you baby Buster: What are you gonna do for me? Rio: Whatever you want me to do Rio: Anything and everything Rio: Start slow though Rio: [Pics] Buster: [messes around with the app while he pretends like he's thinking] Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah, babe? Buster: Just thinking here, like Rio: Take your time Rio: Seriously, give it a good ponder Buster: How hard do you want me to think about it? Rio: Really long and hard Rio: it's important Rio: wanna get this right for you, like Buster: Okay, good Buster: What other toys do you have there still? I wanna make the best choice possible, you know Rio: You know me so well Rio: [Selection] Buster: [Still on this goddamn app while he pretends to ponder] Rio: You're taking this very seriously aren't you Buster: 'Course Buster: Not moving either as promised Rio: Can't say they same Rio: also can't type, already Buster: 😏 Buster: We have to stay in theme so you gotta use the pink one, obviously Buster: Why didn't I immediately think of that? Rio: It's almost like this shitshow is the last thing on either of our minds 😜 Buster: Nah, I'm so unaffected, still the life and soul here Rio: 😔 Rio: oh Buster: If anyone can change that, baby, I know it's you Buster: You're so bad, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: You just need reminding Buster: Make me wanna leave this pub for you never mind this chair Rio: Fine Rio: you can see the outfit Rio: just not on, not yet Rio: [Snap] Buster: Now who's taking things seriously? Rio: Now I know you're playing hard, gotta up my game too Buster: I can go harder Buster: Barely touched this app yet Rio: Please Rio: You're driving me crazy with all this teasing Buster: Is that better, babe? Rio: No, I want you Rio: You could come here and fuck me and be back before anyone even noticed Buster: Can you be quiet? Buster: They'll notice if not Rio: No, but you can put your hand over my mouth Buster: That never works you just end up putting my fingers in your mouth 😈 Rio: You have to give me something to keep my mouth busy Rio: maybe you can take this vibrator out of my pussy replace it with your dick Rio: I wanna taste me Buster: Okay now you're having good ideas Rio: Yeah? Rio: It's 'cos I'm thinking of you Buster: Now I wish I could move Rio: I wish you were behind me Buster: I wish you were on top of me Rio: That's how you want me, daddy? Buster: I wanna see your face when you're about to cum Rio: You can see how every single thrust makes me feel Rio: if you can focus on anything but how good my tits look Buster: Jesus Buster: I need you so much Rio: I need to say your name Rio: I miss the feel of it in my mouth Buster: Say it for me now Rio: I am Rio: and I push it deeper every time Buster: Let me see you Rio: Make sure your audio is off Rio: [Video Buster: I nearly made my own sounds then Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: I love turning you on when you're in public and with other people Buster: I know you do Buster: It's making you so wet Rio: If you could listen to my video Rio: You would know Buster: Am I allowed to move to get my earphones out of my bag or not? Rio: Anti-social baby Rio: but yes, because every sound I'm making is for you Buster: Fuck Buster: Rio Rio: Come moan that into my mouth as you cum deep inside me Buster: I want to so bad Rio: I'm gonna have to go soon Buster: Don't Buster: Stay for me Rio: I really fucking want to Buster: I need you Rio: Are you gonna come see me? Buster: Tell me I can Rio: You can, but you might have to make polite small talk first if you get seen Buster: What am I gonna say? Buster: I can't act like I just really wanted some tea and cake Rio: Sure you can Rio: she's your auntie too, get so many good boy points 'fore you come up here and lose 'em all Buster: Is it not no lads allowed? Rio: Yeah but Rio: ugh Rio: you probably shouldn't, I'm just being a brat Buster: Can you meet me outside so I don't need to officially come in? Rio: This is why I let you tell me what to do Rio: you have the best ideas Buster: Find us somewhere we can be alone and I'll get there as fast as I can Rio: I'll come get in your car Buster: I don't have it Rio: Oh damn Rio: 'course you don't Buster: This isn't gonna happen, is it? Rio: Fuck sake Buster: You should just go back Buster: I'll make it up to you later Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm just gonna mope Buster: I'm sorry, baby Rio: It isn't your fault Rio: I just wanted to escape Rio: the vibe is so weird here Buster: I don't blame you Buster: I can only imagine Rio: He shouldn't be here, he should be with you lot Rio: of course he ain't but Buster: I can't believe he's lasted that long there Buster: Not that I want him here but Rio: Aside from being a little drunk Rio: he's being pretty engaged and friendly Rio: guess he's doing his family guy act again but no one is really biting, he's getting frustrated Buster: 'Course he is Buster: Any way that shit is gonna wrap up soon? Rio: Well, if everyone just heard me fucking myself to the thought of you it might be time to give out the party favours, yeah Rio: the kids were keeping it from getting that tumbleweed moment but who knows Buster: Don't Buster: I mean, our ma's gotta know that he's a bad idea and bad news, yeah? It can't just be you seeing it, like Rio: It's no secret how much your Ma actively hates him, I'm surprised she's even here Rio: Mine tries to not badmouth him but you know Rio: It's kind of sad, even Meena isn't feeling it and she's invested on both sides Rio: this is fucked Buster: Yeah Buster: If you wanna leave I'll come and get you, seriously Rio: I'm going to Rio: I'll tell you when I'm ready Buster: I'll be when you are Buster: It's gonna be alright Rio: I hate how he looks at me Buster: I know Rio: See if I left a turtleneck around here Buster: You can have my jacket Rio: I can't before I say my goodbyes Buster: Fuck saying 'em Buster: Just go Rio: I guess Rio: I'm being mean Rio: I should try some more Buster: You've tried enough Buster: If you won't leave for yourself do it 'cause I want you to Rio: You should go back to having a good time babe Rio: I'll be fine Buster: Baby, please Rio: Okay, okay Rio: but I feel bad about it and I'm gonna be 😒 about it Buster: I don't care Rio: Hmpf Buster: I love you Buster: And I hate him Rio: He's not being so bad Rio: I promise Buster: I don't give a shit about Drew Buster: Only you doing what you want Rio: I know Rio: I will, I'll go down and see how it is now Buster: Make sure Indie ain't fucked up my shirt, like Rio: On it Rio: though adding a new one to my shopping list already 'cos I know her Buster: 😒 Rio: Don't be grumpy baby Buster: It's just Indie Rio: What you mean? Buster: Neither of you should have to be there Buster: I'm mad about it Rio: It isn't Ro's fault Rio: I mean, I don't know why she's done this but Buster: Nobody made her fuck him again so yeah it is Rio: It ain't just fucking for her is it Rio: I assume he weren't that hard up either but Rio: whatever it is, ain't love Buster: Don't Buster: It's worse Buster: I don't reckon either of them know what love is Buster: It's fucked Rio: It's horrible Buster: I haven't seen my mum in a mood this bad in such a long time Rio: He will fuck it up Rio: before they get down the aisle Rio: congrats on bringing another kid and woman into it though, Drew Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm scared for her, how she'll be when he fucks up and fucks off Buster: He knows how to pick them, no offense to your ma, like Rio: I doubt she can get much worse Rio: She's never not been a mess, sorry but it's true Buster: You really reckon this is rock bottom though? 'Cause that's where she's gonna hit Buster: I dread to think how she's been today Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: She'll just stop eating again, no doubt Rio: Her response to everything Buster: Don't say it like that Rio: I know she's your Auntie Rio: but that's how it is Buster: The whole point of him being at this fucking fam function is to look after her Rio: He can't force feed her Buster: He could do something Buster: More than he ever does Rio: Whatever Buster: Are you actually gonna defend him now? What the fuck Rio: You can't blame him for not 'fixing' her eating disorder Rio: and she shouldn't even be having this baby if she's not willing to get help for her mental health bullshit Buster: I'm not asking him to fix anything, I'd just take the cunt not making everything worse for a change Rio: Why would you expect that of him Rio: as bad as her Rio: she should know better Buster: I know Buster: I'm just Buster: over it Rio: Aren't we all Rio: I'm sick of this family using him as an excuse to be fucked Buster: You can't blame them 'cause he ain't exactly blameless Rio: Focus on getting better Rio: like, why is he still here if he's so bad Rio: Just, whatever Buster: He ain't got anywhere else to go Buster: There's nothing heroic in it Rio: No, I mean Rio: why do we all put up with him Rio: and then hate him Rio: it's pathetic Buster: I don't Buster: Take it up with everyone else Rio: Good for you Buster: Don't get an attitude with me Rio: I'm going Buster: Good Rio: Prick Buster: What the fuck, Rio Rio: What? Buster: Why are you acting like this? Rio: Because it's all bullshit Buster: It's not my bullshit Rio: I know Rio: but you didn't have to say it was good I was going Buster: I thought you meant you were leaving Rio: Oh Rio: Sorry Rio: I'm just stressed Buster: I know, babe Buster: I'll come get you Rio: Indie ain't even here Buster: Where is she? Rio: Don't know Rio: she did a bunk about 15 minutes ago, apparently Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Did she take her phone back from you? Rio: Nope Buster: Talk to Drew, he's got everyone's number like Buster: Bound to have her mates or her lad Rio: Yeah Rio: Can't blame her frankly Buster: Me either but it'd be better if she'd got her phone off you first Buster: Then you could just drop her a text Rio: Fuck this Rio: Oh well Rio: Talk to you after Buster: Alright Buster: Rio? Buster: Talk to me Buster: It's been ages Buster: Are you okay? Buster: What the fuck? Buster: Everyone's going home so I guess will Buster: Babe Buster: You're scaring me now Buster: Seriously Buster: Come on Rio: I don't know what to say Buster: Tell me you're okay Rio: I'm not though Rio: Sorry Buster: What happened? Rio: Didn't your Mum say Buster: No Rio: Oh God Buster: I haven't seen her Buster: But now I'm losing my shit Rio: She might still be with Ro, actually Rio: someone was going to the house to clear out his things, maybe that was her Rio: I can't remember Buster: Did they have a domestic? Rio: Ha Rio: no, not quite Buster: What then? Rio: Depends who you ask Buster: I'm asking you Buster: What the fuck did he do? Rio: I went to talk to him like you said Rio: just about Indie Rio: but he was being funny and nice and then Rio: Idk, I can't even remember if it's how I'm saying or how they are now Buster: Rio, what did he do? Rio: We were kissing and his hands were everywhere and my Mum walked in and she just lost it Buster: He was kissing you, you mean Rio: That's what I'm saying, I can't remember Rio: but Ro said I must've started it because well Rio: I don't know why Buster: Bullshit Buster: You love me and you love Indie Buster: You wouldn't do that Rio: I didn't try to stop him Rio: he said if I had he would've stopped straight away so that means I was kissing him back at least doesn't it Buster: No Buster: I didn't stop Chlo but that doesn't mean I wanted to be with her, you know that Rio: I wasn't even tipsy though Rio: What the fuck is wrong with me Buster: It doesn't matter, babe Buster: He fucking cornered you in your own house Rio: He's going to tell everyone about us Rio: they didn't let him say much because Mum was going to kill him and Ro was hysterical but I know he will Buster: He won't 'cause I'm gonna kill him first Buster: Where is he, do you know? Rio: I don't know where anyone is Rio: all busy salvaging from my mess Buster: His Buster: Not yours Buster: Where are you? Rio: I'm such a baby person what if Ro's baby dies from the stress Rio: what if she gets so depressed she doesn't look after it Buster: Stop Buster: My mum is with her she's not gonna let anything else happen Rio: The worst already has Rio: I've ruined her life Buster: You haven't done anything wrong Rio: I have Rio: I tried to fuck Drew at her baby shower Buster: Don't Buster: He did that to you Buster: All you were trying to do was find Indie Rio: Indie Rio: What are they going to tell Indie Rio: what's he Rio: and I don't even know what to tell her to rebuff it so why wouldn't she believe him Buster: Baby, I need you to breathe right now, for me, yeah? Buster: Tell me who's with you Rio: I don't think anyone is Rio: I'm scared, Buster Buster: I'm coming over Buster: Keep talking to me until I can get there, okay Rio: I can't see you Rio: He's ruined it he's ruined everything Buster: I love you Buster: I need to see that you're okay Buster: I need to make sure you are Rio: I'm so far from fucking okay Rio: I'm a mess Buster: All the more reason for me to be there Rio: You don't get it Rio: I've always been a mess Buster: Everyone is Buster: I'm the biggest mess going Rio: You said it yourself Rio: he knows how to pick 'em Buster: Shut up Buster: He doesn't get to choose you Rio: He was saying so much stuff Rio: stuff he shouldn't know about me no one should Buster: Tell me Rio: I don't think I can Buster: You have to Buster: Who else is there? Rio: I think Lottie and Meena are here, with their kids, and keeping an eye on the rest Rio: Mum and Nan went to find my Dad and your Ma and Nance went with Ro Buster: That's not what I meant Buster: You're not gonna tell them Buster: So its me or nobody Buster: Don't keep his secrets for him Buster: He barely did Rio: I don't even want to think about it Rio: never mind say it Rio: I want to forget the whole thing Buster: I know you do Buster: But that's not gonna happen Buster: I'm sorry but it won't Rio: It's so Rio: embarrassing doesn't cover it but that's all I can say when all the stuff he knows, anyone could Rio: really Rio: it's not like he had to try hard to get the info Buster: He knows things about you, he doesn't know you Buster: If he did he'd know you don't want him to do that shit to you Rio: He said he reckoned I was ready for the real thing Buster: He's full of shit Buster: What the fuck is that even meant to mean? Rio: He heard what I call you Rio: 'cos I fucking let him Rio: you know Buster: He's such a sick fuck Rio: I am Rio: what doesn't turn me on Buster: He doesn't Buster: And he knows that Rio: Clearly not Buster: You've made it clear enough times Buster: He should only need to hear it once Rio: It's all part of the game isn't it Buster: It's not a game, babe Buster: None of this is Rio: It shouldn't be but Buster: It isn't Buster: Listen to me Rio: What Buster: Don't let him in your head like this Rio: How can I think of anything else Buster: That's why you need to talk about it Buster: If you can't now then later but Buster: It's not his fucking story to twist it happened to you Rio: It's better for everyone if it was me Rio: it's too much Buster: It's not better for you Buster: And you're the only one I care about Rio: Why Buster: Why what? Rio: Why do you care about me or like me Buster: I love you Buster: I know he can't make you forget that Rio: I know but I don't know why Buster: You're smart and funny and beautiful Buster: You care so much about everyone and everything and you make me feel not only like I'm not a piece of shit but that I'm actually good Buster: You're literally the most generous person I've ever met in my life Buster: With your time too, like Buster: You're always saving me when I should be saving you Rio: I'm glad I make you feel like that Rio: you are good Buster: So are you Buster: You're so good, Rio Rio: I really don't mean to do the wrong thing Buster: And you really haven't Buster: He fucked up, not you Rio: I wanna believe you Rio: but also everything is so bad now it doesn't even matter Rio: and it's only going to get worse Buster: Of course it matters Buster: You matter more than anything Rio: Everyone hates me now except you Buster: No they don't Buster: They love you Rio: Nah Buster: If they hated you it wouldn't be such a mess Buster: You'd just be gone Buster: Like he'll be Rio: I don't wanna deal with this Rio: can we go somewhere Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm stuck in traffic but its moving Rio: I mean forever Rio: or I'll just curl up into a ball and die Buster: You can come to London with me Buster: But that's as far as I can go right now Rio: I know that really Rio: I can't think straight or work out any actual plan right now Buster: You don't have to Buster: I can't think straight either and he didn't do it to me so Rio: I'm sorry Rio: I didn't want to tell you but I had to too Rio: can't expect my Ma to do that like she is my Da 'cos I can't fucking look at him Buster: Don't ever fucking say sorry Buster: Not for this Buster: I'm sorry that this happened to you Buster: I should've been there Rio: You can't always be there Buster: Well then, I should've stopped him before now Rio: You can't do that either Rio: it's not your fault Buster: I could've Buster: I could've broken both his arms and then he'd never be able to touch you Rio: Buster Buster: Don't Buster: It's better than the alternative of sitting in traffic crying which is all I can fucking do now Rio: I don't know what to say Buster: You don't have to say anything Buster: Not for my benefit Rio: I wish this wasn't happening to you though Buster: Well, I wish it hadn't happened to you Rio: I love you, you know Buster: Yeah, I do Buster: I love you too Rio: I'm going to be able to fix this Rio: aren't I Buster: There's nothing you need to fix Buster: But it won't always be this bad, I promise Rio: Come on Rio: There's plenty Rio: everything is basically fucked Buster: But none of it is your fault Buster: You can't fix everyone else for them Rio: Who else will, babe Buster: They'll either do it or they won't Buster: It ain't your job Rio: I'm so tired Buster: I know, baby Rio: I can't live like this Buster: Tell me what I can do Buster: If you wanna leave, we'll leave Rio: Maybe I should just fuck off somewhere Rio: for a bit Buster: Do you not want me there? Rio: Of course I do Rio: I mean a bit more long term though Rio: you've got to go back to School Buster: Fuck school Buster: I wanna be with you Rio: You need School, babe Buster: You need me and I need you Rio: Maybe I'll come to London Rio: what if Ro does though, 'cos what the fuck is she gonna do now Rio: I've got to avoid her forever Buster: No you don't Rio: you didn't hear her Rio: she definitely hates me Buster: I didn't have to Buster: He's just headfucked her like he tried to do with you Rio: he's going to want his flat back isn't he Rio: where am I gonna go, back to my parents, fuck Buster: I'll get you a new one Buster: Here or in London, wherever you want Rio: Don't be ridiculous Buster: I'm serious Rio: You can't just do that Rio: we can't can we Buster: Of course I can Buster: I was gonna sort one for Chlo and I can't stand her Rio: I don't know Rio: sounds too good to be true Buster: Trust me Buster: I'm not gonna let you down again, okay Rio: You haven't Buster: That ain't true but it will be Rio: It is! Buster: I've let you down loads of times, today is just the worst one Rio: Shut up Rio: You don't owe me anything Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I mean it Rio: you can't be taking any blame for any of this Buster: I do though Buster: Only my share but still Rio: No Buster: Come on Rio: No, I'm serious Rio: this is going to fuck with so many people Rio: not you too, I can't handle it Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I'm not trying to upset you Rio: I don't care about me, just don't be sad Buster: I care about you Buster: I'd do anything for you, you know that Rio: Just stay you Rio: that's all I want Buster: I promise Rio: Good Buster: Are you letting me in or coming out? Rio: Come out, only your Dad should be home, right? Rio: I can't face anyone yet Buster: Fuck knows where he is Rio: Just make up an excuse and I'll apologise to them later Rio: I can't be here and I can't go to the flat Buster: We can go anywhere, my car's full Rio: It'll all be better in Skerries, yeah? Buster: It can't be worse Buster: And it'll just be me and you Rio: Yeah? Rio: You know, we're going to have to tell people we're together Rio: or they'll probably phone the garda like I'm a suicide risk if they reckon I'm on my own Buster: I'll sort it Buster: Do you need me to get anything from the flat for you before we go? Rio: Something comfortable and baggy and not this fucking stupid dress Buster: Easy Buster: I'll go there now Rio: Have you seen my wardrobe? Harder than it should be Buster: I've left more than enough stuff there to make it work Buster: Which is just as well if I don't wanna drive back that way again to pack Rio: Yeah, I don't care Rio: I don't much feel like being a person anyway Buster: Anything we don't have I'll buy it Rio: I'm sorry, this is so stupid Rio: Are you sure I'm not being a pussy? Do I have to stay and face this now Buster: No Buster: We're going Rio: Okay Rio: I was hoping you'd say that Buster: I know what you need, babe, that's never gonna change Rio: I love you Rio: I wish I was better for you Buster: You're the best Buster: I love you so much Buster: Whatever else you are, you're perfect for me Rio: You're so nice Buster: And honest Buster: So believe it Rio: I'll try, like Buster: Good

[mightybigpill]

YOU’RE NEGAN NOW.

WHO: Rick & Negan. @scatterbraincd

WHAT:  Rick comes to attempt to talk to Negan. 

WHEN: After the faux battle with the trash people, alexandria, and the sanctuary. 

NOTES: I FORGOT TO POST THIS FORGIVE ME. Contains slight TWD spoilers because while this verse does NOT follow canon, similar things had lead up resulting in said circumstances. There wasn’t much feedback in terms of what the overall hope for the group is, so A NEW REIGN IS UPON US! Try not to die.

VERSE: Here! Join it!

RICK:

Of course he hadn't planned on them doing anything of the norm after how the battle went -- but the least that could have happened was for him to SHOW UP for a second so they could talk. It wasn't the same when their people were ready to kill each other. Having a few moments alone without the threat of an attack happening within twenty feet of them made things more civil and calm. The conversation could have gone so much better than when they'd last spoken.

    Knowing his way there, and a way in creates strictly for his own use, Rick had given the excuse that he was going to go search for NEW guns and a new potential friend in all of the chaos, and left to find the other on his own. Thanks to a car - one that was dead not far from Sanctuary - he only had to walk the first and last leg of the path. Sneaking in, he'd almost expected to be stopped, but it was possible it’d been forgotten about in the anger created by the possible attack.

    “You need t’ talk t’ me,” Rick started the conversation with no greetings or small talk. It would have been blocked out anyway, Grimes was sure. “Ya know we can't leave things as we did last time I saw ya.”

NEGAN:

Oh he was gonna LOSE it. No amount of fucking his frustration away was working and typically when the world got to be a really shitty place, having a place to bury his dick often made it better. But even now? HE WASN’T in the mood. A hot shower, followed by sending his wives away and DRINKING had followed. His head was a goddamn mess but boy were the games about to begin.

Rick’s APPEARANCE had startled him, he’d been on his couch, lost in his thoughts and a glass of whiskey, a book open on his lap. So when it finally registers, Negan does a DOUBLETAKE. “I don’t need to do shit.” Negan admits as he throws  the remainder of his cup back, the familiar burn consuming his throat. It’s still not enough.

“You got a lot of fuckin’ balls showin’ your goddamn face around here after that SUPREME shitshow.” And it’s true. Negan doesn’t INSTANTLY slip back into the pissed off aggression, but he’s ANNOYED at the other’s arrival.

“And why’s that, Rick? Why do you think you deserve ANOTHER goddamn minute of my time? I think I’ve already WASTED way too motherfucking much.”

RICK:

By the time Negan acknowledged him, Rick had ALMOST talked himself into turning around and leaving before he had a chance to make things any worse than they already were. His eyes followed the liquid in the glass as it moved with the gesture; emptying out into lips he couldn't even BEGIN to think about if he was going to get anywhere with their newest discussion. “Because you KNOW me…” Even Rick had to admit that was a poor example for an excuse, but it made sense in his own head before actually hearing it out loud.

    “I woulda told you about the plan,” he swallowed thickly, kept his voice low to make sure he held at least a little of his discretion and secrecy. They didn't need others knowing he was there -- it wouldn't have worked in his favor, that much was obvious. “Ya know everything else about what we do--” fuck. Where had he been going with that? “I've given ya whatever was asked of us? More than! I wasn't plannin’ on hurting YOU -- I SAVED you.” Okay. Not the time for boasting that Negan would have been shot without him making the first move.

    And now they had one less enemy to worry about! “They woulda turned on you too, if someone else promised ‘em somethin’ else. Next time you saw ‘em, they could be the ones thinkin’ of ways t’ put you an’ your people down… We can HELP each other.” He sighed. How the hell could he make it any better? “They're all… Saviors. They just don't know it yet -- I'm workin’ on findin’ ways t’ show the difference…” and now he looked like he couldn't lead for shit. “I stepped down when that fight was called off. They won't listen t’ me now if I tried. You could-” shit it was another moment of wanting to kick himself for HAND DELIVERING the advantage to someone else. “Step in. Tell ‘em t’ look at their options. They gotta pick YOU over the show I just put on in front a’everyone.”

NEGAN:

“Did you SAVE me?” Negan questioned, brows HEAVY with CONFUSION, “Or did you KILL the fuckers that betrayed you?” Was it going to get ugly? Yeah, pretty much, but that was used to his advantage, ESPECIALLY when he was fucking PISSED at Rick for betraying him, and fuck if he wasn’t going to make him WORK to make it up to him. “It’s NOT fucking good enough, Rick!” Negan BOOMED abruptly, discretion be damned. His heels connected firmly to the ground before he was standing tall.

Rick was scrambling. Grasping at straws and trying so fucking hard to regain his footing and Negan’s trust. “Rick, what the fucking SHIT do you not understand? I have been TRYING to help you people.” Words were consistently stoney, unimpressed and completely aggravated once more. He went to step away from the couch, but his palm hooked onto the end of Lucille, bringing her ALONG as he closed the distance between himself and Rick.

“See, that is EXACTLY what I had been fucking thinking, but it’s taking a LITTLE too long with the bullshit you and your goddamn people keep throwin’ at me LEFT and RIGHT.” Personal bubble be damned, Negan was already in Rick’s face, Lucille bouncing between his fist and his finger tips.

“And lemme guess, just like that, they’ll all suddenly see the light.” It was one thing working with converting them one on one. Shit, Eugene hardly needed the explanation before he was proclaiming his loyalties and New World Identity. “I gotta fuckin’ ask… Who ARE you?” At some point his unoccupied hand had risen to Rick’s jaw, locking down under his chin, fingertips painfully digging into unshaven flesh.

RICK:

Truth be told, he wanted to answer that it's been BOTH of those things, but he kept his response to himself as Negan moved. Trying to make him see Rick’s logic on the topic wouldn't have gotten him and further along in the ‘making it up to him’ battle he'd found himself in. It was best to leave things as minimal as possible unless asked otherwise. Eyes closed just long enough to look to the floor, then back up in a more disappointed fashion. It wasn't going nearly as well as his imagination had played out for him before going to meet with him.

    “I know that, and they'll see that yer right at some point--” once they'd all realized just how much harder it was going to be if they stayed where they were. Alexandria may have looked nice (after getting the bodies burned, anyway,) but it was a sinking ship waiting to go down under the surface completely. The lack of supplies, the way the saviors took whatever they wanted, when they wanted. There truly was nothing for them there save for a small patch of land they'd been using for farming. That wouldn't last long while they gave up everything that came from it either.

    Damn that bat. Too close to his face, too many bloody memories tied to it. How was he supposed to focus when the weapon that'd killed members of his family (that would have taken his daughter from him if he hadn't given up the fight) was waving ever so subtly in his peripheral vision? “They'll get there,” Rick promised him again. The hold on his jaw was nothing new, but the question that followed made him falter. On one hand, saying he was Negan would have probably helped his case. On the other, the fact he had to CONSIDER the different options hadn't done him any fucking favors.

    Grimes swallowed, hands at his sides but fingers slowly twitching for something to do -- to touch or push that weapon away from himself, to rub his face or even pretend he'd needed to cover a cough -- anything to break up the tension in that moment. He couldn't say anything, which he figured was probably as bad (if not worse) than giving his own name. “I'm…” he slowly shook his head, staring at the other. “Leavin’ that up t’ you. Now, I can be NEGAN, and I can keep doin’ what I've been doin’... or I can be RICK, in which case I gotta get back t’ my people and plan how t’ kill you.”

NEGAN:

“I’m SICK’a FUCKING waiting Rick. I have been so goddamn patient and I really think that deserves a little fucking THANK YOU.” If Negan hadn’t grown FOND of the other, it was likely Rick would have been dead ten times over by now, purely on the lack of heads up alone. There’s a low GROWL of frustration as Negan SHOVES away from Rick, the rough grasp on his face thrown as he pushes  back.

Was that really how this was going to be?

Rick was leaving the choice in his hands, was he? There’s actually a twisted INTEREST that forms a second later, taking hold of his attention as he turns back around, eyes narrowing before there’s any other sign showcased upon his expression.

Rick’s way? It wasn’t working.

And Negan was sick of waiting. Closing the distance between them as quick as he’d made it, he stops inches from Rick’s face, eyes locked onto the other’s giving no room for argument. “You’re NEGAN now.” He was done looking like the one who didn’t have the upperhand. “You fuckin’ GET that?”

RICK:

Fuck saying THANK YOU if Negan wasn't going to give him a little understanding with everything that had gone on. If he didn't know that the people of Alexandria were going to look to him for an ATTACK at some point, that was his own damn fault for underestimating their ability to fight back. Of course, Rick could have done SOMETHING more to prolong it, could have worked harder to get them to see it was best to switch sides and follow through on the real deal going between the two leaders -- but his people wouldn't have gone for that in a million years.

    Eyes closed and Rick glanced to the floor when he'd been shoved away from; testing the alignment of his neck from the force for just a moment before looking up at him again. If they were going to fight, he was determined to keep his eyes locked on the opposing pair rather than keeping his head dropped low like some kind of scolded DOG. Despite the small bubble of fear that started in his gut at the other’s return to his PERSONAL SPACE, he held strong. Negan. He was Negan. Of course he was. That didn't mean he could waltz back into the Safe Zone and tell them all to pick up and just BECOME Saviors.

    A slow, but firm nod was given. “I GET it,” Rick said, no louder than a harsh whisper; eyes narrowed in frustration to match a second of flared nostrils. “But you SAW what happened! I can't go back in there actin’ like nothin’s changed.” His words were given with a gesture toward the door, spine straightening to finally stand at his full height (if only for his own sake of not feeling too submissive in the moment.) “And they won't look at me the same. They won't just ACCEPT that they'd all be better off here if I tell ‘em they would.” They wouldn't have believed him before -- they DEFINITELY wouldn't listen to him after he threw in the towel.

    “Tell me how t’ fix it, an’ I will. YOU’RE the one that messed this up this time.” Rick had closed the rest of the gap between them; nearly pressing their foreheads together. “I had a PLAN fer that fight. Now you need one. I can't keep lookin’ like you OWN me if I want them t’ keep followin’ me.” If Glenn was still alive, they probably would have latched on to him by then and left Rick without any hold over them when he started kneeling for the prick before him. “So tell me. Whataya want me t’ do about it?”

NEGAN:

Negan’s eyes NARROWED dangerously as he looked to Rick. He was soaked in gasoline and standing awfully close to an open flame and he didn’t seem to have the SLIGHTEST idea. Certainly not the best tactic to get what you wanted. “No Rick, you’re fuckin’ RIGHT!” Negan booms, not a care in the world that it’s the dead of night and people are SLEEPING.

“You’re NOT gonna go back here like NOTHIN’S CHANGED, cause shit HAS CHANGED. “I don’t GIVE a shit how they look at you, and if that’s the fuckin’ case, THEN BY ALL MEANS, please get on your fuckin’ hands and knees ands and THANK my MOTHERFUCKING GENEROSITY for giving YOU some goddamn ASYLUM AFTER THAT FUCKING BETRAYAL.” How bad had their wires gotten crossed. Rick stands to his full height and Negan matches, still in his face, still far too close, still SUFFOCATING.

“I’M the fuckin’ one that messed this up?” ABORT, ABORT. Legitimate anger flares in his eyes, suddenly he’s standing taller, looking down at Rick like he’s about to CRUSH him, Lucille held tight in his HAND. But his unoccupied hand is on Rick’s throat and he’s SHOVING his back into the wall, body flesh against the FALLEN leader of Alexandria. “Your plan was to take out my fuckin’ men. That plan is a SHIT FUCKING PLAN.” And not one Negan would agree to.

“I want YOU to show me some motherfucking APPRECIATION and LOYALTY.” After all, he was now offering Judith extended Aslyum, and retracting the offer to bash in her brains and…. This was the type of reaction Rick had? NOT. FUCKING. OKAY.

RICK:

He'd barely had a chance to be surprised at being RIGHT before Negan was continuing with his explanation of what he was right about. It was something he should have seen coming. Really, showing up there had been a mistake, but he hadn't seen it until it was already too late. Rick was in too deep but couldn't quite grasp the edge to save himself from drowning. The only thing he could do was let it play through -- take whatever it got him and move the fuck on with his life. There was no doubt in his mind that NEGAN’S life had continued on like normal when he'd skipped out on meeting with him, why couldn't Rick’s have been the same?

    He had a point regardless of how badly Rick wanted to say there wasn't one. If there was only Alexandria for him, there was no telling how bleak it would have looked for him after the way things had fallen apart for him -- BECAUSE OF him. The ex-sheriff could feel his exterior cracking. The enormous walls built with anger and the lack of consideration (Negan could have at least met him and said they couldn't spend any time together rather than leaving him to figure it out on his own,) beginning to crumble.

    The mess Negan made of him on - what seemed to be - a regular basis needed to be easier to clean up. Because it had only started to pick up and Grimes was already swallowing down the lump in his throat. Of course that could have been from the way he'd come at him once again. It wasn't even the bat creeping closer to his face again -- it was the eyes, always the eyes, that spoke more danger than anything else. All that came close was that grin, but (unfortunately?) that hadn't made an appearance.

    Not while his back was shoved to the wall with a hand at his throat anyway. It HAD been a shitty plan, especially with the traitors that were supposed to have been on their side for the fight. Breath SHUDDERED in his chest and Rick finally opened his mouth to respond. If they were going to get out of the fight? It was going to have to be on him. It was best to give Negan what he wanted unless Rick wanted to start a whole new chapter in their war record. “Thank you.”

    His words were all but SPAT instead of whispered easily like before when he'd been held to the wall. “But how the hell’m I supposed t’ show you ANY of that if I'm supposed t’ be on THEIR side?” Well, at least until he could convince them to switch. “I can't TELL THEM I'm Negan now.” Or that he had been for far too long already. “HELP me.”

NEGAN:

The SPAT THANK YOU, deserves a GROWLED “YOU’RE WELCOME.” That feels like a blade across his throat with how sharp the fucking words are as they spill from a scowl, temper finally raised to where it ought not be. “You’re NOT supposed to be on their side any fucking more, Rick.” Negan spat back, just as ferociously as the other had tried to come off as.

“YOU’RE gonna go back there, get your fuckin’ shit, get your daughter, and say you’re TIRED of fighting. YOU’RE accepting my offer, You’re GIVING THE FUCK UP.” Negan informs him as if it isn’t rocket science. “You go, and you tell them you’re Negan now because you’re fucking SICK of fighting for scraps. You’re sick of how they look at you, You fuckin’ KNOW a good thing when you see one, AND YOU’RE DONE.”

It’s a demand, an order. “You fuckin’ do WHATEVER the fuck you gotta do, and then you come the fuck back here and START earning your goddamn KEEP and repaying me for my motherfucking time I wasted.”  At this point, if Alexandria wanted a war, they were going to get one. They could either join the Saviors, or they could perish as traitors and Rick could be on the right or wrong side of the line they’d drawn in the sand.

Regardless, it was going to be a bloodbath. “You start from the fucking BOTTOM doing whatever the fuck you have to do to earn my fucking TRUST back and when I think you’re fucking GOOD AND READY, I’ll give you your fuckin’ pea SIZED nuts back and you can get back to having a good fucking life.”

RICK:

How FAR he had fallen. Not only had he become someone his people (more than likely) couldn't look to for his guidance, but he'd put himself in a position that he could have sworn he would have never allowed himself to be pushed into. Over what? It wasn't like they HAD anything between them in that moment. There were no feelings - nothing more than anger, frustration and a growing pit of guilt and self-pity. And there definitely wasn't anything PHYSICAL going on in that room either. Was it worth allowing the kind of ABUSE?

    Rick wasn't one to take orders. He never had been, at least. Negan had become SOMETHING to him, which had driven his desire to follow what was asked (demanded?) of him. But with them all but screaming in each other’s faces, what was left to hold on to there? Had he really stripped himself of EVERYTHING over some asshole that put business before his personal life? One slow shake of his head, and he GLARED back into those darkened eyes. “Not until you give me a good reason -- one that doesn't include THREATENING the lives of those people.”

    Searching for some kind of validation from the ‘enemy’ probably wasn't the smartest idea, but if he wasn't going to get more than insults and a lack of self-worth out of it, what was the point? They'd all end up dead in the end anyway. “I wanna know this is more than a fucking BUSINESS DEAL t’ you… THEN I'll bring them all here.”

NEGAN:

Did he think this was his choice anymore? He had given up that option when he’d ASKED Negan to pick. Negan fucking picked the option Rick was too pussy to fully embrace, but sometimes, it took a PUSH in the right direction to get people to see your fucking side and for all intensive purposes, NEGAN WAS BEING REAL, REAL, MOTHERFUCKING PATIENT. A goddamn SAINT.

“Right now, with how I feel?” Negan questioned, a low whistle, eyes wide in HORROR at the other’s choice of action as his head shook slowly, back and forth. “You don’t deserve a goddamn thing.” It was a reminder, that Negan, as a leader would not be giving him ANY fucking special privileges after that shitshow had unfolded before his very goddamn eyes.

Negan WANTS to chuckle, but he’s thinking, eyes locked on Rick’s with an unreadable expression, tongue poking and pinched through pearly whites that look more VICIOUS than anything else. “If this were JUST a business deal…” Negan points out, words cold, calculated, and deathly transparent. “You, your daughter, and all of those fucking PEOPLE back at yours? They’d be DEAD after a motherfucking STUNT like that. I want you to take a moment to let that SINK IN.”

And silence followed. The calculated cold Negan projected down upon the other as his grip on his throat loosened so he was no longer making it hard for him to breathe. “This?” Negan pointed, a lazy finger motioning between their faces to PUNCTUATE his point, “This is the only thing that’s keeping Lucille from having a motherfuckin’ GRIMES BUFFET.”

RICK:

How had it gotten so DIFFERENT in his mind? That something had actually started between them that was more than some kind of stress relief? It wasn't like they'd filled their previous private time together with HATE sex -- well, at least not after the first time. It hadn't been that way to Rick anyway. But with ‘how he felt,’ if he could throw everything away, over a fucked up misunderstanding? He swallowed, waiting for Negan to finish what he had to say before being allowed to relax his stance -- breath coming back to him in full but still ragged in the face of what had been demanded of him.

    Perfect. He'd only managed to keep his family alive by having some personal secret kept between the two of them. Rick wasn't sure if he could take that as an insult to his leadership skills or the fact that - if it hadn't happened - there was a good chance they would have all died long before he could stand in Negan’s bedroom arguing with him about it. “Better--” he began. “I wanna know what I mean t’ you. Not just that you'd KEEP ME ALIVE.” Besides, their first meeting had included the idea that they couldn't work for him if they were dead.

    “You might not wanna HEAR it right now, but you NEED Alexandria regardless of what WE’RE doin’ t’gether. If not fer the SCRAPS, then fer the space, the farm land… Ya can't GROW anything on gravel and concrete.”

NEGAN:

WAS RICK REALLY TRYING TO PLAY THIS FUCKING GAME? Negan wasn’t entirely certain that’s where it was going, but at the gruff question of the other, there’s a long, DRAWN OUT fucking sigh, eyes rolling tediously. Did Rick think they were going STEADY? That T H A T was the type of outstanding gentleman Negan was?

Negan goes to speak but another sigh comes instead, this time turning into a laugh of disbelief, head shaking slowly. The thing was, despite Negan not wanting to admit it, the fact Rick was still alive meant he DID mean something to the other.

But even he wasn’t ready to admit whatever the fuck that was. It was having fun, relieving tension. Yeah they lingered sometimes, but it was GIVING IN to what felt good. “I told you.” Negan stated, finally pushing away from Rick, he was BORED now. “When you get your fuckin’ nuts back, and when you fucking EARN my goddamn trust again, I want you here.” As his righthand man.

Dwight was on the way out, Negan could feel something brewing, but he needed Rick. Rick had what it fucking took, and if Rick was in his pocket, he would have Rick’s loyalty. Rick was one of the few that many that could be driven by their emotions if given the right little push. “I need someone I can fucking trust, working BESIDE me. I had thought that was you.” But he was wrong. Still he had Harley, Simon… The others.

“Alexandria is prime goddamn real estate.” Negan pointed out, Lucille propping against the couch before he passed and moved over to the small bar, “We should be confiscating that shit for ourselves.” In the event they decided to kill everyone of course,”BUT I fuckin’ KNOW, Rick.” Anger extinguishes as quickly as it came and he’s pouring TWO glasses.

RICK:

His head dropped briefly, letting the words wash over him. To get himself back on Negan’s good side - to regain any small amount of his manhood back in the other’s eyes - he needed to give up again? Tell them all he was done fighting like some child tired of being pushed out of the playground and pretend they all should have fallen in line behind him for the sake of ‘once being their leader’? There was no way that would work out the way Negan mapped it out for him. (But really, what other option did he have? It wasn't like he could return and FIGHT after that huge disappointment.)

    Rick wanted to argue -- he could have been one hell of a right hand man, despite being better as a LEADER than a sidekick. Or, he had been at one point. But there was no point in arguing anymore. He saw that now. Judith would listen to him -- he hoped -- because she was his daughter. The rest? Maybe he could make something up to get them to cooperate. If he had to tell them it was the only way to keep Judith alive, they had to let it happen. And once they saw the other side, they wouldn't WANT to go back. (In a perfect world anyway.)

    “Fine,” he sighed, wetting his lips and crossing his arms over his chest if only to better close himself off from the situation. “I can't promise they'll all follow me, but…” fuck. “I'll bring Judith back with me.” Even if it had to be only for her safety. He wasn't about to leave her behind to be killed off like some common survivor that didn't know better. “We’ll stay here.”

NEGAN:

It was THAT confirmation that had a GRIN suddenly appearing. Look, he knew this wasn’t easy, but considering the shit they’d pulled it was necessary and he wasn’t TRYING to make this harder on Rick, not anymore, not now that he HEARD him give into exactly what he wanted. “At this point, I don’t care if they do.” It would be ideal if they did, but Negan knew it to be highly unlikely.

Negan took a slow stride over to Rick, holding out the glass he’d just poured. Grin slipping into something a little less irritating, an attempt at some REASSURANCE. “That’s a good fuckin’ choice, Rick.” He admitted with a nod, raising the glass for him to take.

“I’ve been TRYING to play nice, but my patience? They’re’a RUNNIN’ out.” And it wasn’t Rick’s fault, he could only lead his people to water, but he could not force them to drink. “Y’wanna see your rooms?” Negan offered, trying to give him something more to look FORWARD TO. “Listen,” It comes after a moment, with a sigh, “I’m not tryin’ to BE the fuckin’ prick.” Usually it didn’t matter, but this wasn’t an act they were putting on for the others.

RICK:

At least Negan thought so. Rick wasn't all too sure about it, but if it was going to keep Judith from having to fight anymore -- he'd give up just this one last time for her sake. There was still a promise that he would have been somewhere better than the bottom of the barrel (or the end of his fucking rope,) so it wasn't ALL bad. Besides, Sanctuary had EVERYTHING. They'd been taking and taking and making a life for themselves from the start, it seemed. They must had had a hell of a comfortable life despite the killing -- but Rick hadn't come all this way without getting his own hands dirty.

   Hell, killing people was what had really gotten Negan on their ass in the first place. No one was innocent anymore. A slight tremor played over his hand as he reached for the glass offered to him; frustration with HIMSELF over the man in front of him running his stability (or lack thereof.) “I have two demands,” he said against the lip of the glass before SIPPING at the liquid. “You don't TOUCH the kids -- Judith and Sophia. They don't have to fight anymore… and I want medical care for Maggie. Without having to work for it.”

    Negotiating made him feel a bit better; getting his side out in the open and not giving Negan the chance to call ALL the shots when it came to Rick’s people. “You agree to those terms an’ we won't have any problem.”

NEGAN:

Negan wanted to point out how they DIDN’T hurt kids, but threatening Judith had been a special scenario he needed Rick to realize, but there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as Negan’s eyes locked onto the other, “Done.” It was effortless, easy, as if without a thought, but this made Rick have SOMETHING to present his people. Yes, he got Rick, but the pregnant widow got taken care of and the kids were protected.

Plus… Anything he gave to Rick offered his own leverage because even still, Negan was MIGHTY fucking understanding of the shortcomings he had experienced at the hands of the other community. “I’m not an unreasonable fuckin’ person, Rick.” Sure he could appear that way, but there was a method to the madness.

“But I got ONE fuckin’ demand’a my own.” Negan pointed out, “You bring my PUPPY back and you both fuckin’ work for me.” It sounded like water under the bridge in turn of Daryl escaping, something an often punishable offense.

RICK:

That had been easier than expected; and the shock spread across his face said just that. Rick had almost prepared himself for another argument; ready in case Negan decided to make his demands even greater. But what he got in return was -- understanding. He'd gone there looking for it in the first place and (after too much of an argument) had finally gotten the smallest taste of it. The mention of Daryl, however, had his spine straightening. Something about hearing him called Negan’s PUPPY grated on his nerves.

    The only saving grace was that BOTH of them would have ended up working for him anyway. And he hadn't pictured leaving him behind to fight and search and starve. One firm nod was given in response with an echoed “done.” The last of his drink was swallowed with a DEEP grimace and a shove of the glass back into Negan’s hand. At least they were more on level ground than when he'd first shown up (and definitely more than when the Saviors had last shown up at Alexandria’s gate.

    “Gimme a couple days t’ convince the rest t’ come with us. If I can get Daryl an’ Maggie t’ come, the rest should follow in b’hind them.” He had an idea of how to win each of them over; medical supplies and care, a way for Maggie to get back to her sister, and a chance at helping him keep their people safe and taken care of for Daryl. It really had come to feel like the best option for all of them to stop trying to burn the bridge to the Saviors and join them on the other side. “Thank you,” he said again a few silent moments later; softer and more sincere than before.