#i'm the only one awake rn though so can't eat them until the Special Eating Hour

[keeps-ache]

!!! my skates came :DDD

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary323

8/7-8/24

wednesday - thursday

normal day inside.

i started the day with an abstract nightmare with eminem in it... and then there was this other dream about raising worms, and my aunt hating them. i can't really even begin to describe either, the eminem one especially, it repeated one time after, that dream included me writing what eminem had rapped, and then it ended the same, with like, this screamer of a demonic eminem appearing, but it was like actually scary, somehow, at least to my body, it shocked me awake. i really cannot express what these dreams felt like, what they looked like, they were like, paper mache or early flash, some point between those, just of totally flimsy, unconvincing material, and still i believed, because the threat seemed real.

the other dream is much harder to describe, it involved going to the movies, the movie being like a game i was playing... and these worms, the kind who shoot their insides out all over what they're trying to eat, and then sort of digesting it like that, those sorts, i was raising them, my aunt hated them, we were in a place...it was somewhere like egypt, and it was somewhere like the poorly lit room in my stepdad's house with green carpet.

other news, my gf and her mom went to pick up my package... i didn't realize until the other day it was in retention and i realized that this meant more than like... waiting to ship from one spot to the next. and then i put the tracking info into usps today... and they already claimed it. that was so crazy... maybe i am just dumb but yeah... the new clothes are here. i am sure i will post myself in these pieces soon but i'm really happy with the order, a couple shirts, a tulle bolero thingy, a slip dress, a corset belt, 2 necklaces, and a heart bag from milk, and this cardigan type deal, it goes over stuff, it looks like fruit netting, it's super pretty and it'll look good over sleeveless things, it's gonna be so perfect with a lot of shirts where i want an extra crazy layer.

i wanted to work on music today but i did not... i didn't do much productive today, and no one came over, our friends had another emergency, things are not going well for them,.. very unfun for them and i feel bad, obviously i don't mind or anything, it's just sad that their lives are a bit rough rn. even if it's just like, a vet visit, that can be all kinds of unpleasant, on the spectrum of waste of money to oh no my beloved animal will die soon. hopefully i guess it's just not too bad a waste of money.

i did cook today, i'm happy with how the food came out, i need to set the chicken aside and then put it back in the stir fry from now on, i guess i just avoid that out of laze... no more... it's not like it even tasted bad before it was just a bit less flavorful... now it goes crazy... yay i suppose. i also need to call my mom soon, i'll ask about that tomorrow probably.

i keep listening to swan lake / death disco. maybe i need to just work out some stuff on the bass soon. just go crazy, write riffs for bass, get in on some locked grooves. that would be fun.

i still hafta work out, guh, i'll do it now...

i did it , and i got distracted by rfactor2 racing videos and music by a guy i've liked since hs, but no one knows him cuz he's like, just a guy who does stuff, kind of how i do things.

i knew him as bettenhaus rhyne in hs, years ago i went looking for that record to hear it again, that he did, and then i found him as terre noire, and then upon rediscovering him and loving the newer stuff, i posted some in a server i was in, and it turns out one of my friends is friends with him, crazy coincidence, small world and all that. i think his music is really special though, it's some of the only post punk stuff made recently that really does keep at the avant garde goals some bands in the original scene had, kinda brings lemon kittens to mind, or at least how i felt when i heard lemon kittens for the first time. a lot of the song structure weirdness, it's all very intentional and alien, he's a great songwriter when it comes to dislocating things, kind of makes songs that ache and creak in their slithering/unfurling.

interesting, there's a music vid for one of his songs, the song's like 7 years old, at least, but the vid's 2 months old:

this video gets at one of the cooler things about his visual aesthetic, which is all the worlds.com early freaky 3d type stuff he's into, the video was made by other guys but it's in keeping w/ what he likes, he's always been big on that, i remember.

whoever did the animation for that vid is in this band:

this song's pretty good, some of the other stuff... not so much, but this is really bizarre. the vocals, the banjo, it shouldn't work, but it does... really really weird. rocks though. it's like a poppier version of mamaleek or something.

the song right after that one is like. really awful rap rock. that's crazy. i guess i respect how much this band throws at the wall. they're in a really cursed zone, nearly too indieshit too handle, doing some really interesting stuff... so odd how bands like this appear. guys who know all that weird noise stuff but still really like... i dunno... i can't gather what's going on here. i do think i wasn't there is gonna stick with me though, since it is a confluence of that weird zone of like, local band that's just doing wayyyy too much, and then that turning out a good song somehow. fucked up.

need to sleep, now, too late / too early but not even early it's almost gonna be almost noon almost almost noon. 9:30 feels so close... how odd.

listened to this alex g song and now i must sleep:

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!