#i'm still your favorite regret
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I want to be forgiven I want to choke up chunks of my own sins Even if the sky cracks in mourning And the heavens just won't open up for me Would you invite me in again? Let me pay for my arrogance? Won't you show me your weakness?
"Blood Sport," Sleep Token
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Big man, Big mouth
Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!reader (because demeaning girl usage) WC: 4.9k it's just gross smut and simon gets kinda mean sometimes nothing crazy :) ty to the brain to my pinky @xoxunhinged and precious beta @waves-against-a-cliff catching my errs
The smile youâd had on your face all morning is subsequently wiped once youâre told that you wonât, in fact, be spearheading a team meeting with air conditioning and a cup full of your favorite medium roast, but instead, youâre being sent somewhere where practical experience trumps theoretical, textbook knowledge. And alone, at that.
Guess your travel mug is about to make its big debut.
The construction site is alive with purposeâ the buzzing of drills, raucous banter, and the low hum of music from a stereo. You run a hand down the back of your skirt that is more tourniquet than office attire you were forced into wearing, regretting not drawing the line at the heels pinching your toes. "Professional setting, professional appearance," your boss had said. Nothing here demands you to stand in ironed clothes with dust settling on your eyelashes and the taste of grit on your tongue.
You feel out of place, a white-collar worker surrounded by hard hats and steel-toe boots. Perhaps taking this job for a promotion was hasty on your part. But itâs too late now and the sun above you is wilting the starched collar of your blouse.
Best get this over and done with. (The bottle of barefoot wine at home will be your reward for your suffering.)
Walking to the home still in a semi-skeletal phase had been a bit uncomfortable, anxiety gnawing at your nerves and the polished shoes at the skin of your heel. But what made your shoulders tense and spine stiffen was the crew. You'd expected disgruntled workers, sure. A bit of grumbling here and there. No one likes to have someone with more authority and less experience trample all over your work, telling you what's what.
Not them eyeing you like you're a fish in a shark tank. A little minnow pulled out of her natural habitat and into the mix with dominant predators. The paper on your clipboard crinkles audibly as one of themâ the leader, you gatherâ stops you before you can get any closer than he feels necessary. He plods over, hard hat tucked into his arm, wiping his sweaty brow with his sunbaked forearm, a few wood curls nestled into his beard.
"Ya lost?" he grunts.
There's a guy with a comb for hair and limpid blue eyes staring right at you from the back as he leans on a half-built wall with a smarmy grin on his thin lips.
"No! No, I, umâ" you stammer, "I'm here as a temporary replacement for, umâ"
He cuts you off with a dismissive wave, fingers thick as steel beams. "Right. Yeah, yeah." Bloody rude. "The inspector." His head tilts and spits on the cement, eyes giving you a once over, lingering on the bare skin of your calves. "John," he says then jerks his head behind him, to the shady inside of the home. "Let's get ya out this sun 'fore you melt like sugar on the driveway."
You keep your lips pressed in a line, swallowing down the retort sitting on your tongue with a hint of frustration, and follow him on swift feet. It is unforgivingly hot and at least there's a roof overhead. Most of the walls were still just wooden beams, the foundation concrete covered in dust. Rough-bristle brooms lean in corners, the stereo now sitting silently in the center of whatâs to be the living room next to a man with a massive frame and a sweat-soaked wifebeater who didn't bother turning around as you made a beeline for the only fan feebly cutting through the muggy heat inside.
John from behind you grabs your attention. "So? What's the issue this time? We jus' had tha' muppet pass through a week ago." You turn around, the breeze now somewhat cooling the back of your neck.
"Just need to personally check what's leftâ" you clear your throat, giving the clipboard a waggle, "on this. Nothing too grand." The blonde one with shorn hair hasn't looked up once from the blue cooler between his legs.
John scratches his head. "Right." There's a drag of heavy boots behind you. "Temporary, eh?" His eyes are like cerulean rivets, pinning you in place.
Gruff Scottish cuts in, tone dripping with amusement. "Will ye look a' tha'," he mutters, accent thick and deliberate, "bosses up top sent a bonnie wee lass to keep an eye on things. Make sure ye pay good attention, aye?" The brute comes to stand in front of you, flexing one arm, bicep like a knotted tree trunk. "Would hate ye missin' the show."
Show âem your teeth, little fish. That promotion is already in your hands, don't let it slip through your fingers.
"Listen, youâ" you snap back, cheeks burning hot but then his eyebrows raise to his hairline, the corner of his lip curling in challenge.
"It's Soap, hen."
â...Right.â
What the hell kind of name is Soap?
A third voiceâ crisp English just like John'sâ cuts through the air from the second floor. "Wipe the slobber off ya chin 'nd leave 'er alone, Soap! You still hav'ta sweep up 'ere!" A man with bronze skin and a cap adorned with the Union Jack in the center pokes his head out from over the wooden railing. His smile looks stiff.
"Miss." His eyes flash to Soap. "Move it. You can get your cockâ" wow, mouth like a sailor, that one, "wet while on company's time." His gaze falls on you for a moment longer before disappearing back into the upper level.
Soap grumbles what sounds like a "fuckin' 'ell Kyle" but heads for the stairs anyway, steps creaking under his weight. "Ah'll be 'round if ye need me," he says with a wink.
Unlikely.
John absently shakes his head and turns to the grizzled, mountain of a man still hunched over that cursed cooler of his. "Simon." He suddenly moves then, rising smoothly to his feet for someone his size. He's a wall of muscle, a very clear force of nature, and he's now staring at yourâ
your shoes?
"Alrigh'," he gruffly says, "We'll get outta your way. The faster you can look for, whatever it is you're lookin' for, the faster you can get out o' my beard." He places his hard hat back on and gives Simon a nod. "To work, break time's over."
Simon walks past you without so much as a glance, his thick arm brushing roughly against your shoulder with enough strength to make you take a step back but then he speaks. "Don't trip on nothin', girl. I'd hate f'r our pretty mascot t'get injured on the," he emphasizes the last word, tone heavy with mockery, "job."
Your tongue is pressed firmly behind your clenched teeth as you straighten your skirt. Get this shit over with.
--
Their attitudes toward you had left some to be desired, but they had done their job seamlessly. Not a crack in place nor a bolt out of it meaning that ticking off the rest of the boxes on your clipboard had been a cinch, making the promotion even easier. By the time you were ready to go homeâ the thought of leaving behind the tangy scent of sweat and iron adding a pep to your painful stepâ the sun had already dipped, casting long shadows over the construction site.
Until John's unwelcome chivalrous gesture: sending one of his to accompany you to your car. "t's late out," he says, leaving no room for lip. Fine, whatever. The faster you get out of here the better. Saliva pools in your mouth at the thought of having a chilled glass of wine with chinese takeout for dinner.
Except the one waiting for you in the garage with a lit smoke between his chapped lips is Simon. He flicks it to the ground, smothering out the embers with the heel of his boot. "Move. Ain't got all day."
The last strand of your patience snaps and your mouth twists into a snarl. "Then leave off! I don't need a fucking chaperone. Believe it or not, I do know how to look both ways before crossing the street."
You'd only taken three irate, swift-footed steps away from him, clipboard trembling in your grip when the back of your shoe dug into raw skin; a sharp, sudden agony flaring out in a hot, thick wave and you stumble. The world spins for a second, colors blurring together untilâ
The relief is immediate. The hot needles on your raw nerves dulled down to a throb, vision blurring from the brief bite of intense pain. You breathe in a deep lungful of air, tasting salt and sawdust while you flex your feet, hissing when the blistered skin stretches. At least the damage to your toes is minimal.
But not to your pride. Tripping over your own feet, because the driveway while unfinished is still flat, now means you're being hauled over his shoulder, which is broad enough to be surprisingly comfortable, in the opposite direction of where your car is with your heels in hand. The fabric of his tank feels stiff under your sweaty palms.
"Is this kind of behavior normal for you? Or am I just lucky?" your voice is tinged with a mix of irritation and embarrassment. His arm tightens uncomfortably around the back of your bare thighs even though the office skirt you managed to squeeze into is knee-length.
"Only when I spot clumsy-footed birds like you. Can't 'ave ya splat on the concrete like a crime scene outline." A slow creeping flame spreads from your neck to the apple of your cheeks when you notice the guys staring at you from a window upstairs, Soap giving you a toothy smile. Even Kyle seems amused. Mortifying. Someone strike you down now. Actually, no. Then who'd feed your cat once youâre gone?
"'nd John would chew me out f'r lettin' ya break these," his long fingers circle your ankle, "in 'alf." You try to muster a response, but the words sit behind your teeth, your chagrin having tangled your tongue into knots.
Then he stops and the creaking of hinges reaches your ears. "Wait." Your eyes land on a black cargo bed, caked with dried mud. "Are you just going to sit me in your car?" He sets you down in the back seat anyway, tossing your shoes inside.
"Truck. I can drop ya on the patch of grass if ya like." Simon leaves you there, going to the driver's side rummaging through the middle compartment. His work truck is exactly what you'd expect from a man like him. The seats are covered in a thin layer of dust, you imagine he gives no one a ride, a well-worn visibility vest strewn about, an extra pair of work boots stained with splatters of white paintâthe size difference of your shoes compared to his has you swallowing a lump the size of your fist down.
Simon pulls out a mid-sized red box and places it on the floor mat then props your leg up on his. His grip is firm but gentle as he inspects your open wounds and then sucks on his teeth. "A bit stupid, wearin' ankle breakers when out on a job." He prods around the inflamed skin, the pain making you tense.
"Don't worry about me and miâ" you hiss when he digs his thumb into the arch of your foot, "mine. Maybe I wanted to look nice." Fuck those shoes.
"'m sure ya did, though the skirt's all ya need." The warmth of his breath spreads through your toes and up your calf, raising gooseflesh.
You can't hold back a snort. "And now you're going to tell me that you prefer women in skirts and dresses?"
Simon switches legs, careful to not aggravate the blisters further. "I prefer my women with no clothes. But both of those make it f'r easier access. Like yours. Can see your knickers from 'ere." That has your heart skipping a beat, eyes widening with disbelief. Instinctively, you sit upright, back straightening with a pop.
"They're red."
You chuff out a breath. He's lying. You'd put on the only available pair you had at the time since you'd forgotten to dry your laundry the night prior. A simple, cotton grey. "Youâ! Fucking hell, I almost kicked you in the teeth." Simon's looking at you now, eyes dark and intense.
"Wouldn't be the first time someone's tried," he says with a smirk, voice low. "White, then."
The first aid kit still lies on the floor mat. "Stop talking." Simon ignores you, instead grabbing your other leg and pulling you closer toward the edge of the seat. Toward him.
"Green," he rumbles, his hands cupping the bottom of your feet, thumb and pointer coming to gently tug on your toes before moving his way up. You feel like a young, dewy-eyed farm girl having her first tumble in the hay and he's only now stroking the protruding bone of your ankle. The motion is slow, deliberate, a tender caress that sends a shiver up your spine. Has it truly been that long since you've had your body shape imprinted into the mattress?
"How about," you swallow thickly, "you patch me up proper and I'll be on my way?" If anyone else had heard, they'd say you're trying to convince yourself that being here isn't what you really want. But the little garble in your voice gives you away.
Simon hums, a sound that vibrates in your chest, sinks into the marrow of your bones. "Little bird wants tâgo home 'nd 'ave only a throw 'nd a cat t'warm 'er bed?" You feel a different kind of ache this time, pulsing sharp and deep in your core. "Eh? Y'wanna curl up on the couch with one oâ those sex books while playinâ with your pretty cunt?"Â
The idea of having to use the blue bullet sitting inside the nightstand drawer sounds unappealing. And itâs probably out of battery too. Damn.Â
You sink your teeth into your bottom lip and shake your head. He doesnât accept that as your answer.
"Wha's tha'? You will speak when spoken to, pet. Do you," he emphasizes the last word as he begins to open your legs by the knees, "wanna go home with an empty pussy or let me fill it 'til you're leaking cum out ya ears?"
Can't say no to him serenading you like that. You clench around nothing, hesitance crumbling like sand. "B-but what about your job? Aren't you still working?"
Simon grabs you then, dinner plate-sized hands wrapping around the softer part of your waist. "'M on a break. I'd say I deserve it after all my 'ard work." He lifts you effortlessly, the hem of your skirt rolling as you widen your legs further.
He rolls his hips once, feeling the bulge in his jeans brush against your sex, feather-light, and you bite on the thickest part of your tongue to keep from moaning like a cat in heat. "And what about us being in the open?" you ask though the question is redundant. Besides the crew's work vehicles, there's not another car in sight. If anyone else had been working nearby, they've long since left.
He seems to share your sentiment. "If tha's all? 'm tryin' t'see if I got it righ'."
No, that'll just about do it. "Okay. Alright." God knows you need this. Even if it comes from a stranger you'll probably never see again. Simon doesn't wait any longer, pushing up the rest of your skirt to pool above your thighs.
He hisses long and low through his teeth. "Tight little thing, innit?" Yeah, well. You were going to tell him that while putting on your skirt that morning had been an absolute nightmare, it wasn't that small on you until the tips of his fingers glided along your clothed slit. Oh. He's not talking about that.
"I guess grey's my new favorite colour. Especially thisâ" he thumbs the darkened wet spot on the fabric, "shade." When he adds more pressure, you can't help but let a gasp out as you buck your hips in want of more. "Easy. 'aven't even started with you." Simon opens the front of your blouse with a single hand, coming undone easily. He goes for the clip of your bra that's serendipitously placed on the front.
"Gotta let the girls breathe," he says. Whatever his reasoning doesn't matter because all there is, is relief. No more underwire digging into your skin, no more suffocating restraint. You only wore the blasted thing because all of your sports bras would've been visible through the blouse.
Simon rolls a hardened bud with one hand while unbuttoning the front of his jeans with the other. "Eatin' this," he gives the mound of your pussy a mean tap, "gonna 'ave t'wait. I'll get ya off though, don't worry tha' little head o' yours."
You wonder if he says that to everybody he fucks in the back of his truck. "What? Why?"
His length sits hot and heavy over your cunt. And it's big enough to kill. Death by cock. That'll be on your epitaph. "'m a big geezer," he mutters, fingers toying with the side of your panties, "lyin' down so you can sit your cunt on my face isn't gonna work righ' now."
Definitely says that to everybody. "Doesn't matter. I'll take care o'ya 'nother way." Simon pulls the dampened gusset to the side and lowers his head toâ "Pretty like I thought it was." A fat glob of spit lands on the puffy lips of your pussy and he smears it around with his cock, tip sliding right along your clit. He uses his thumb to press himself down harder, more friction, more sensation, each slow roll of his hips pricking neglected nerves awake, alive, and it feels good. Surprisingly good.
The way the scar on his lip whitens as he bites it tells you it's just as good for him too. "Thought about it much, did you?" He goes lower this time, ruddy tip catching on your entrance momentarily before returning up.
"Since you walked inside a place you 'ave no business bein' in. Birds like you shouldn't be minglin' in the trenches with us grunts." The tips of your ears are hot as he stares down at you. "Should be sittin' nice 'nd pretty in a cubicle with air conditionin' 'nd an oversized mug o' watered-down coffee."
Simon cups the swell of your arse, canting your hips to glide himself better. Every bump and ridge on the underside of his cock is rubbing slowly on you and the thought of licking a slick stripe on the vein only tightens the white-hot coil below your navel.
"Or better yet, sittin' at home doin' wha'ever else while waitin' f'r a man like me to come back from work with a ribeye 'nd redskin potatoes in the oven." He lets your panties fall back into place; the sodden front almost transparent as he rubs against your swollen clit at the same time. God, he's fucking. your. panties! And you're bloody letting him.
What a way to break this year-long dry spell.
He bends your legs so that your feet are now being held flat on the thick of his chest with his hands as he picks up the pace. The suspension springs on the truck begin to groan. "I like mine medium rare."
Your back's come off the seat, spine bowed. You're close, so fucking close, you've got slick coating the inside of your thighs, dripping down to your arse, probably staining his polyester material underneath. This is torture and your pussy feels tender, raw, yet he's barely touching the focal point of your desire. If he doesn't make you come in the next minute, you're breaking that thick neck of his.
It's like he read your mind because he uses his cock to tap on your clit firmly, hard enough to hear a wet thwack and he does it once, thrice andâ
And then your body gives, an intense climax that steals the breath in your very lungs, has you your blunt nails biting into the muscle of his forearms, his groan drowned out by the shrill ringing in your ears. Your face feels hot, probably is hot to the touch and there's a sting on the middle of your bottom lip and can taste iron on your tongue. Even the tips of your fingers tingle.
Through your half-lidded gaze, you see Simon holding onto the top of the truck while his breath comes in ragged gasps. Did he come? You curiously touch the expanse of your stomach. Not sticky.
"No. I didn't come. You," he takes in a deep, steadying breath then reaches to squeeze the sides of your face, cheeks plumping under the pressure. "You almost 'ad me, though. I don't remember the last time I 'ad to think tha' 'ard of London t'not finish. But I'm not done with you."
Simon hooks his thumbs into the waistband of your panties and takes them off with urgency only to stuff them in his back pocket. "Better with no clothes on, remember." You can feel his twitching cock leak onto your heated skin.
"If ya need, use this." A black bundle of fabric lands on your chest, what isâ It's a mask? If he means to hide your identity from his coworkers, you're not sure this skull mask is going to work. He drags you to him roughly until your arse is hanging off the seat. And then there's a hot, dull pressure pushing against your entrance that's followed by a searing sting, and it, it's so much, it's too m-
"Tight fucking-, Ya need t-, fuck, to relax," he grunts, fingers dimpling your thighs. Simon's thrusts are jerky, short, as he wrenches your walls apart. Even with your creamy cum and his spit it's still a struggle. "'Alf way there," and a rattled breath escapes you. You're being split right down the middle and there's still some left?
For the next few moments only your squeaks and mewls can be heard as he makes room for him, your hand flat on his lower stomachâ feeling the coarse, thick patch of hair on itâ as if you're trying to keep him away, out, something but then he snarls and snaps his hips. You've heard of a ring of fire some women experience at some point in their life and you think this is yours. The thin skin of your entrance burns, most likely stretched to its limit, like a rubber band about to snap.
"Easy," he drawls out, "The worst's over. Took me like you're made f'r me. G'mme ya 'and." He takes your clammy hand and has you touch where the two of you meet. His eyes are glued to your fingers that are split into a v, pads feeling your cunt soaked in viscous slick.
The groan he lets out at the sight makes the world around you spin. "Stay jus' like tha'." Sure, not like youâve got anywhere to go. Not with his hands tight around you like metal cuffs. Simon holds nothing back, not even in the very first minute. Doesn't warm you up to it, don't let you try to get used to him turning you inside out. His thrusts are long, firm, hungryâ bottoming out every single time until he sits snugly at the plug of your womb. Grinds up when he meets resistance, eyeing your features in case there's discomfort.
The only ache you've got is the one he's fucking into you. (And you also might be partly lying on his tape measurer.)
But then he hitches your legs up, hands around the back of your thighs as they're pushed toward your chest and that pulls a whine out of you that you're sure John and the crew heard. "There she is, bird's got a healthy set o' lungs on 'er." He keeps the same, unforgiving angle and doubles down, using the bulk of his weight to pin you in place, forced to do nothing but take and take and take.
Until Simon's strikes the side of your arse with an open palm. "D'ya hear 'em?" Wha? What? Hear who?
And then you hear it. Him. The handsome one with the hat from upstairs. "Ghost?" he sounds right across the street and Simon hasn't stopped rocking the truck as he fucks you right through it. "Wha's tha' Kyle?" His voice is steady even though there are beads of sweat rolling down the side of his temple.
"I said good job on all your 'ard work 'nd we'll see ya tomorrow. You 'ave a good night too, Miss." There's a crude whistle followed by a pained grunt and a quick mumbled apology. Maybe if you don't respond they'll just get in their car and go home.
But then John calls out to you too.
"Simon mustâve missed you, sweetheart. âWow. He barks out a laugh. " 'ave yourself a good night, Miss.â Then, sternly says, âTomorrow at 6, Simon.â
Simon, though, has no intention of letting you take the easy way out. He smacks your arse again, right in the sameâ already tenderâ spot from just moments before. "Answer 'em, pet. Or 'ave I fucked all the manners outta ya?" He accentuates the last three words with thrusts so sharp that if he hadn't been holding you in place, you would've been sent sprawling back.
Whatever words you're supposed to say are snagged in your throat like hooks, only whimpers and high-pitched gasps falling past your trembling lips. He drags his thumb over your bottom one, the calloused pad of it tough. "Go on. Be good 'nd tell 'em to 'ave a good night too. And no names. Only one cominâ outta you should be mine."
When you open your mouth, he weaves a hand down to your clit, jerking it in fast little circles that have you forgetting where you even are. "Mf- g-good," he gives you just a second of respite to spit on it. "Good night-," his fingers are almost torture, and god, you're going to come in front of all of them. You warble out the words hastily, feeling your impending orgasm come at you with the speed of a freight train.
"Tha's a good bird, singin' when I tell ya to." There's no stopping this, not with all of his focus on the little bundle of nerves and every drag of his cock making your spine arch as if he were winding it. "Squeeze my cock, tha's it."
Your legs shake violently, toes curled, and you can feel a cramp begin in your calf but none of it matters, not when you're seeing bright lights behind your scrunched eyelids, not when you feel fingers in your mouth to stifle the scream that's viciously wrenched from your throat nor when Simon growls out a "Fuckin' 'ell."
"I told ya, if ya needed somethin' t'bite on, use tha'," he jerks his head toward the mask that's tight in your fist. Your soul is still floating adrift in the wind and he's already trying to make conversation. And he did not say to bite on it.
"I'm not puttin' this unwashed thing in my mouth." You languidly watch him inspect his hand, looking at the deep purple teeth imprints on his fingers. Whoops.
"But you'll 'ave me after sweatin' under the bloody sun for 'ours." His hand slides behind your nape, lifting your head a bit as he lowers his chest to meet your sweat-slick one. Your hands come to claw at the shifting muscles of his back when he begins anew, this time his pace is relentless, sharp, predatory. He's a shark that has scented blood and is now on the hunt.
The prickling bristles of his facial hair scratch against your temple. "This," the hand around your neck tightens, your rapid pulse now roaring in your ears, "is the best pussy I've ever had." His thrusts are jarring, make your teeth clack together hard enough to hurt, and after a dozen of them, he comes with a cruel bite to the junction of your shoulder, snarl animalistic.
Hopefully, the guys drove off a while ago otherwise you're re-dressing and driving home with that mask Simon tossed your way.
Your blouse is unfortunately beyond saving. Your skirt isnât faring any better if that massive tear in the front has anything to say about it and your shoulder will require at least half a bottle of concealer plus a couple of bandaids, which the first aid kit is completely empty of. Not even the first aid guide is inside.Â
You sluggishly begin to button up one of Simon's spare flannel shirts when he asks you if you're hungry.
"No." Not really. Hard to feel much when most of your nerves from the ribs down are shot.
"Get in the front, I'd like t'eat my dinner soon." He's staring right at the apex of your legs, your cunt still throbbing from the abuse."'m 'ungry." Thereâs no tow car sign on the street, actually, thereâs not even a simple stop sign here.Â
It better not get towed. Youâre not paying a dime if it does.
(Are your feet still hurting or can he fuck those too? No? Next time, then.)
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod mw2#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley x f!reader#cod smut
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and somewhere, somewhere the atoms stopped fusing / i'm still your favorite regret / you're still my weapon of choosing
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"you have really long eyelashes"
it catches him off guard. you guys are just laying in your bed scrolling on your own phones. he didn't even feel you staring at him. how long have you been looking?
"thanks?" he replies
"no i mean seriously like drop the lash serum." you joke at him as you continue to observe him.
they're long and thick. the kind of lashes that have a natural curl, unlike yours, that fall straight down and take several minutes to curl to your perfect liking. not to mention the layers of mascara you apply to get them to even remotely look like his.
he turns his head to you and you don't miss his dilated pupils as his eyes bore into yours. you take note of how the lashes perfectly frame his eyes. and you're so jealous.
but then an idea pops into your head, you smile to yourself and he senses it coming.
"can i-"
"no" he cuts you off.
"babe please you don't even know what i was about to say!" you grab onto his shoulder as you plead.
"whatever it is im sure it's going to be bad." he retorts, turning his face away from you and going back on his phone.
"i'll buy you you're favorite food."
and that's how you end up here on his lap with your mascara in your hand. his hair is pushed back as his hands rest on your hips, drawing small circles as he awaits your actions.
you open the bottle with the black liquid and bring the wand close to his eyes. "don't move" you whisper and he listens. mainly because he's scared that you're going to poke his eye out as you bring the wand to the base of his eyelashes and wiggle it slowly before moving it up to coat the length of the lashes. some of the mascara gets on his eyelids. you repeat the actions on the other eye before going back and doing a second coat. you can tell that he might be slightly nervous that you're going to blind him with the way he holds his breath and the grip he has on your hips get ever so slightly tighter.
you move yourself off his lap and he goes to grab his phone so he can see what he looks like.
"wait no not yet, i'm still not done" you say as you go and grab ur q-tips and micellar water.
"still?"
"yes still, i need to clean up the mascara on your eyelids," you say as you place yourself back on his lap. you open the bottle of micellar water and carefully put the clear liquid on the q-tip. you bring the white stick of cotton to his eyes and you tell him to close them. he feels the wet cotton and it's a weird feeling. you watch the q-tip turn darker the more mascara you wipe off.
"okay i'm done!" you say and he opens his eyes and you don't think he's ever looked more majestic. his already long lashes looking even longer and bolder now that he has the mascara to bring them out. you notice that the color of his eyes pop more. "you look so pretty" you smile as lean in to pepper kisses along his face. his cheeks feel warm and he can already tell that they're probably red.
he reaches over to his phone and opens the camera app and switches the camera so he can see himself. and he immediatly notices the stark difference in his eyes with the mascara. he brings his fingers to his lashes to touch them. it feels weird and his eyes kind of feel weighed down. but he has no regrets when he sees you smiling at him so fondly.
"they look nice." he smiles at you, dropping his phone to the side.
"i know right, ugh im so jealous i wish i had your lashes. all my problems would be solved." you say, thinking about the long and excruciating lash routine you perform every morning.
"all of them?"
"yes, all of them."
he chuckles at your words. "alright, but can you take it off now, it feels weird." he says, hands coming to touch his lashes again. you pout as you grab the micellar water you put away and a cotton pad and remove the mascara from his eyelashes, being gentle so that he doesn't lose a few. he appreciates the action. and maybe he would let you put more than just mascara on his face another day.
KAGEYAMA (has the best lashes argue with the wall), suna, tsukishima (genuinely terrified that you're going to make him go blind), OSAMU, kuroo, MATSUKAWA MY LOVE, iwaizumi, OIKAWA (he would eat that shit up), akaashi, kenma, +ur fav.
#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu scenarios#hq fluff#hq imagines#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!!#tsukishima fluff#kageyama fluff#suna fluff#osamu fluff#kuroo fluff#matsukawa fluff#iwaizumi fluff#oikawa fluff#akaashi fluff#kenma fluff#tsukishima x reader#kageyama x reader#suna x reader#osamu x reader#kuroo x reader#matsukawa x reader#iwaizumi x reader#oikawa x reader#akaashi x reader#kenma x reader
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LOADS OF FUN : TODOROKI x READER
SUMMARY: After moving into your first apartment together, Shouto seems more amorous than ever. You're not sure whyâbut when he comes home to you doing a load of laundry, more than your clothes are about to get tumbled. TAGS/WARNINGS: nsft (18+ only, minors please dni!), pro hero au, gn + afab reader, established relationship, fluff, emotional sex, table sex, cunnilingus, the shouto domesticity kink agenda goes absolutely crazy in this one lol (2.8k) NOTES: This piece is part of my pretty boy summer Shouto x Reader collab! Please go check out the other incredible fics people have written over the course of the summer; you will absolutely die over how good they are. This fic was also made possible through donations to the Fics for Gaza project. I cannot thank everyone who donated to one of the charities enough, as well as those who organized, reblogged, discussed, and got the word out. Lastly, I am so grateful for your immeasurable patience with me as I take time between fics to manage my workload, I hope I'm not too out of practice here lol. In summary: thank you, thank you, a million times thank you.
The sound of the door opening was hidden in the thump and glug of the washing machine starting its spin cycle.
Halfway across the house, you were obliviousâyou had the clean laundry spread out on the kitchen table, hunting through the pile trying to match one of Shoutoâs socks to another that seemed to have vanished into that mysterious void which opens somewhere between the laundry basket and the dryer. One of his shirts was half-folded over your shoulder, abandoned in favor of the sock search.
The rest of your things were still mostly tangled together on the table, warm and fresh and cottony, the few shirts youâd already folded sagging off the kitchen chairs.
It still gave you a little thrillâeven several weeks after youâd moved in togetherâto see Shoutoâs things twined up with yoursâhis enormous socks dwarfing yours, your sweaters clinging to the occasional piece of his hero suit that hadnât seen enough action to need his agencyâs industrial cleaners.
It all added to your sense of satisfaction with your afternoonâa frosty weekend day youâd spent cozy indoors, moving slowly and leisurely through some chores. A pot of soup simmered on the stove, and your favorite playlist worked itself through in lazy loops. Shouto was due off his rotation soon, and you hummed contentedly to yourself, entertaining pleased little fantasies of curling up with him for the rest of the weekend.
Which of course is when something moved in the corner of your eye. Your hum sawed up into a strangled screech, and you whipped around, flailing. Shoutoâs sock launched itself full force at the intruder before you even registered youâd thrown it. In your shock, your leg caught against the table and you went stumblingâ
âright into a pair of warm hands that caught you about the waist.
Your hands were on the manâs shoulders to push him off before you realized you recognized the touchâand that youâd caught sight of a distinct mop of scarlet and white hair as youâd whipped around.
âShouto! Again?â you scolded reflexively, even as your heartbeat stuttered out of its wild kick into high gear. You tipped your head back to stare your boyfriend in the face, shoulders slumping in relief, letting him take some of your weight.
Shouto peered down at you, that tiny scrunch between his brows that indicated concern. âAre you alright, love?â
Your heartbeat pounded thunderously in your chest. âIâmâfine. But my god we need to get you a bell. I almost peed.â
Shoutoâs mouth shifted minutely into something that might not have registered in anyone elseâs face but was most definitely a regretful downturn on his. He looked even more unfairly beautiful than when heâd left you this morningâa little flushed and windswept from the unseasonable cold, that full mouth pink and pretty.
Your mind flicked momentarily off and back on like a circuit breaker, the way it always did when you had to process Shouto.
Youâd understood he was once-in-a-generation levels of beautiful before youâd even met him, his face staring up at you from the glossy pages of various tabloids over the years. But in person, even after years of knowing him and several more dating him, Shoutoâs appearance still managed to cross all the wires in a personâs brain. His features were an incomprehensible blend of aloof and elegant, sensual and warmâlike a cold masterpiece of a marble sculpture had suddenly found himself with a consciousness and human desires and miles of warm skin.
âI did not mean to startle you,â he said, his voice low and warm. He sounded sincerely regretful.
You knew he hadnât meant toâyouâd long suspected his silent tread was habitually ingrained in him from years of hero work. And, in your most private and ungenerous thoughts, you suspected from years of making himself unobtrusive in his fatherâs home. The thought sat sour in your mouth, like a slice of pickled lemon.
You resisted making an equally sour face, shoving the thought away to make space for the reflexive flush of pleasure seeing Shouto always brought you.
âWelcome home, Sho,â you said instead, smiling up at him. Shoutoâs hands moved on your waist, sliding gently beneath the hem of your tee-shirt to rest on the skin there.
He was still in his hero uniform, and as usual you felt a little goofy in comparison, in nothing but a tee and a well-loved pair of fraying sweatpants, which were this afternoon decorated with little flecks of soup from a brush with the pot.
But Shoutoâs eyes were warm where they rested on you, and that perfect mouth crept back into a contented set. His long fingers smoothed over your skin as he watched you, thumb brushing your hip. He did not look like he found you at all goofy.
In fact, as his eyes dropped down to your ankles, slowly dragging back up to your face, you rather thought he looked a little appreciative. He even took a rather ungentlemanly step back, still holding you, to better take in the whole picture. His eyes wandered over the swell of your hip, the lines of the shirt against your chest, before darting to his own shirt, still folded over your shoulder.
His fingers flexed tellingly on your waist, and those heterochromatic eyes were both a little bit darker as they flicked back to yours.
His obvious regard made you feel warm. You shifted on your feet, shuffling.
âI was justâdoing laundry,â you said for something to say, your mouth feeling kind of dry. Something about him always made you feel sort of shy and light-headed, even after all this time together. âAnd I made soup. I was thinking we could eat on the couch and watch one of those horrendous old All Might films?â
Shoutoâs eyes darted to the stove, then beside you to the pile of your laundry, lingering for a long minute. His long lashes dipped, almost fluttering as his gaze traced over the tangle of your things together. His eyes flicked back to you. He was still for just a moment, watching you assessingly.
And then all of a sudden the world spun in front of your eyes. The hands at your waist lifted you clean off your feet, and you let out a startled âoof!â as you found yourself laid out in the pile of laundry on the table, sheets and sweaters bunching beneath you.
Shouto moved over you, stepping between your spread thighs, right at the edge of the table.
âYou have no idea,â he intoned in a deep, delicious tone that went right down your spine, âwhat it is to come home to you like this.â
You wondered at that, feeling a strange combination of confusion and flattery, when Shoutoâs mouth descended onto yours. His mouth was soft and sweet and insistent and absolutely perfect. The table groaned as he laid some of his weight out over you, pinning you into the laundry as he kissed you.
Your fingers clutched at him immediately, curling in his silky-soft hair, cupping his face to yours. One of Shoutoâs own hands shifted to your thigh, holding you against him as he pressed himself harder into you.
You heard yourself making little gasps of appreciation as Shoutoâs mouth moved down to your neck, laving hot kisses down your throat. You reveled in the feeling of him over you, broad and strong, his shoulders blocking the glow of the overhead light, casting shadows over you.
Heâd been a lot like this lately, ever since youâd moved in together. Heâd been adequately amorous before, of course, and blessed with a pro heroâs strength and unflagging stamina. But a few weeks after youâd moved in together youâd actually decided you needed to reactivate your gym membership given the amount of incredibly athletic sex you were suddenly having over almost every surface in the house.
One of the only spots yet to be touched was the table though, which Shouto seemed determined to rectify at this very moment.
He pulled back from you, his mouth flush from your kisses, looking a little entranced as he stepped out from between your thighs. You made a little noise at the loss of weight and heat over you, but Shouto caught the fabric of your sweatpants, gently but determinedly tugging them off of you. Your underwear was tossed right over one broad shoulder as Shouto went to his knees, and then his mouth was right back on you.
A wave of wild heat licked up your stomach at the noise of appreciation he made before sealing his mouth over you, strong fingers clutching your thighs to keep them apart.
âOh my god!â you said, pleasure zinging right up your spine with the first lave of his tongue over you. âShouto!â
Shouto let out a deep, pleased hum, two long fingers sinking into you embarrassingly easily as he worked your clit with his mouth. Your back arched and you could feel your clothing shift with you, Shoutoâs shirt balling up under your shoulder blade, still half-draped over your shoulder.
âOh, oh!â you heard yourself saying as your fingers twisted in the clothing, shuddering with every lick and suck of Shoutoâs perfect, amazing, talented mouth.
He worked you with the expertise of long, dedicated practiceâeverything about him calculated to drive you insane. One moment he was excruciatingly soft, mouth slack and the touch of his tongue as fleeting and light as the brush of a butterflyâs wing. Then the next he was sucking relentlessly, teasing firmly with the tip of his tongue as his fingers played with you.
Your first climax hit you mortifyingly quickly, and Shouto seemed to know it before you did. His grip tightened on you, holding you down as you bucked against his mouth. Shouto looked more than a little smug as he got to his feet again, unbelting himself and laying back out over you.
He kissed you some more, the taste of yourself always a sort of shock to your system. But Shouto never seemed to mind, and if anything only seemed hungrier for you, mouth pulling at yours like he meant to devour you.
You felt the touch of his hand between your thighs as he lined himself up, then sank into you easily, groaning appreciatively like heâd just sunk into a hot bath. He bit carefully at your neck, one large hand pressing your stomach down to keep you pinned against the edge of the table where he wanted you.
âI always want to come home to you like this,â he intoned into the skin of your neck, his mouth sucking dizzying patterns into your skin. âAlways.â
You could barely think past the slide of him inside you, thick and full and blissfully exquisite. He really was the most perfect man on earth, and he always felt like it too.
You barely managed to blink your eyes open to watch him, trying to catch his meaning in his face. Shouto watched you back, those blue and grey pinned on you like he couldnât bear to look away from you as he moved inside you.
âYouââ you panted out, trying to cling to the thoughts threatening to wiggle out of your grip. âWhat do youâ? Of course youâll always come home to me.â
Shouto bucked into you harder, the slap of his hip against the bottom of your thigh echoing loudly over the burble of soup on the stove. His eyelashes fluttered, mouth softening, and a realization struck you almost dizzy.
Oh, he really liked that.
You suppressed a wave of giddiness, charmed and helplessly pleased that he seemed to like the idea so much. Was that why heâd been so especially ardent this past month? Was it really because youâd moved in together?
Shoutoâs arm hooked under one of your legs, drawing it up firmly over his shoulder so he could press even further inside of you. He looked so good like that that you nearly lost the thread of your thoughts, especially when his next thrust felt like that. Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head.
âAh!â escaped you. âFuck, Shouto. Like that, please!â
Shoutoâs thumb pressed down on your still-sensitive clit and he had to dig the fingers of his other hand into the flesh of your leg to keep you from bucking him right out of you with the way you squirmed. Sweet fucking gods he was unreal.
Shouto fucked you harder, the sound of your skin slapping together obscene in the quiet of the kitchen.
You tried again, struggling to watch his reaction with the way you wanted to throw your head back and babble nonsense instead.
âYouâll always come home to me,â you repeated, gratified when Shoutoâs grip on you tightened, a soft sound escaping him. âYou want me right here for you?â
âAhâyes, love,â Shouto panted, staring down at you again. He looked like he knew what you were doing but didnât care. âYes,â he hissed.
âJust like this?â you prompted, trying not to slur the edges of your speech when he gave another particularly mind-bending thrust of his hips. His chest rose and fell heavily and he looked a little wild-eyed, gazing down at you.
âLike this, for me,â he said. âIn my home, in our homeââ
You could hear the table squeal and groan with the force of his next thrust, and then you had to grip the sides of it to steady yourself as he fucked you, looking blissful. Your nails scrabbled at the edges of the table, caught in between a million sensationsâthe glorious fullness of Shouto inside you, the gentle grind of his thumb against your clit, the way he looked all flushed and beautiful and panting and wantingâ
You squeezed your eyes shut, too overcome with the sight of him to look at him anymore, but it was no use. Your entire body trembled as you came, and Shouto let out a low swear at the way you clenched up around him, hunching over you and pressing himself so impossibly hard against you as he came too.
He slumped down against you, weighing you into the soft-smelling cotton of the laundry you were now definitely going to have to rewash. You could feel his chest rise and fall as he panted, his breath tickling the skin under your ear. He left an unbearably soft, sweet kiss just under the lobe, at odds with the near-wild way heâd just been fucking you.
You warmed, petting through his hair with a helpless affection.
âWell now I know what time I should always do our laundry,â you said.
Shouto huffed into your neck, but you could feel a tiny smile curve his mouth.
âIt is not just that,â he said, but did not elaborate for some minutes until you elbowed him gently. He peeled himself off of you just enough to look down into your face. âIt is the thought of our life together. Our clothes piled together. You in the home we chose and we madeâŚâ he said, trailing off.
But you thought you got the sentiment. It was about how easy it was, how uncomplicated. A safe place to come home to, no expectations, just soup and a pile of sweet-smelling laundry and someone happy to see you. It was something far away from what he'd grown up thinking a home was, possibly something heâd thought heâd never haveâsomething you were determined to make him realize now that he always would.
You let your fingers pull through his hair again, smiling up at him. âI am going to have to do our laundry again, though,â you teased. âIn case that interests you.â
And despite what heâd just said, Shouto did in fact look a little too interested. You watched his mismatched gaze trail over to the closet that opened onto the washer and dryer. A contemplative look snuck across his handsome face, carefully curling the corner of that plush mouth.
âThere is another place we have not yet broken in,â he said slowly, voice dipping low. He looked down at you with an earnest expression completely in contrast to what he was suggesting.
You couldnât help but laugh, and that was all the permission he needed to pull you up, gathering you up in his arms and layering a fat handful of laundry on top of you. His belt buckle rattled loosely beneath you where he'd barely done it up in his haste, and you laughed harder when he turned off the stove as you passed it.
Though it turned out to be a needed precautionâas neither of you found yourselves free to sit down to dinner for several hours yet.
#todoroki x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#shoto x reader#shoto x you#todoroki x you#todoroki x y/n#shouto x reader#shouto todoroki x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader
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The Accidental Influencer
In which you're reminded why you fell in love with Lando in the first place.
Warnings: nothing Pairing: Lando Norris x Influencer!Reader Word count: 1.5k(ish)
based on this request Master List
yourinstaname posted
598,029 likes liked by landonorris, charlottetilbury, kikagomes, and others yourinstaname 'tis the season and all that (tagged: charlottetilbury, landonorris) user444 love when we get @/yourinstaname and lando content >>>user837 for real. charlottetilbury so excited to see you tonight!!! user009 body goals fr landonorris hey cutie, you got a date for tonight??? >>>yourinstaname eh, just my boyfriend but i'm willing to ditch him if you're offering đ¤ >>>user928 their interactions are always so sickeningly cute. >>>user829 always flirting, never serious. my favorite F1 couple fr.
You hadn't meant to become an influencer. Honest to God, you really hadn't. But then your Get Ready with Me, Cheerleader Edition had gone viral during your senior year of college and that had been that. Even though you'd been in the influencer world for a few years now it was still a place where you weren't totally comfortable. Sure, you had made some really good friends and had even found the love of your life in F1 driver Lando Norris but there was still something about the parties and late nights that had you feeling anxious sometimes.
Anxiety that spiked on nights like this, despite the fact that you had brought said boyfriend with you as your plus one, where you found yourself just wanting to run back to Lando's apartment and snuggle on the couch.
It had been a few weeks ago when the email invite had landed in your manager's inbox inviting you to Charlotte Tilbury's annual Christmas party in the heart of downtown London. It was a big deal that you'd been invited, an American that had moved across the ocean 2 years ago, and your manager had insisted you go and network. You had been reluctant even back then though. It had been a difficult and busy year, with Lando's season being hectic and you trying to be there for him as much as possible while fulfilling the brand deals and obligations you needed to do. You wanted nothing more than to spend the evening alone in your flat hibernating with your boyfriend.
In the end, it had been Lando that had convinced you to go, offering to be your plus one. Which you were now regretting as you stood in the corner of the room near one of the giant Christmas trees watching the room buzz with activity.
Girls in tiny sparkly dresses stood in little groups, laughing and socializing. Girls that were dressed to the nines, makeup applied perfectly probably by professionals. Girls that kept tossing you glances every once in a while, as if they were wondering what in the world you were doing with someone like Lando. Fairy lights twinkled above, creating a soft ambient glow that you knew would create good lighting for some photos later in the evening.
Across the room, you spotted Lando standing at the bar getting you another French 75, your favorite drink of the moment. Lando stood behind another plus one date dressed in a charcoal grey suit waiting to order you a drink. As he waited, his head turned just slightly and you caught his gaze, the eye contact with you sending a cool shiver down his spine. You'd been dating for nearly two years now and the sight of you still set something squeezing in his chest you were just so pretty. But beyond your looks, you were authentic and felt everything so deeply and fully, something that he found was missing from a lot of people in your world. He knew you didn't like these kinds of nights but he was so proud you had put your anxieties aside in order to put yourself out there.
Once the drinks were ordered, Lando started back towards you, surprised to see you chatting with one of the other girls that had been invited. As he crossed the room, his eyes stay locked on you despite several women trying not so very subtly to get his attention. A few just simply called out his name, voices thick with flirtation and innuendo. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your boyfriend approaching and also noticed how many heads turned in his direction, sending something painful twisting in your stomach. You struggled to keep the conversation up with the girl across you, someone who you'd met a few times before and genuinely did like, just watching Lando approach you with 2 drinks in his hands.
"Baby, look they put glitter in the drinks tonight." Lando gushes when he finally reaches where you're standing, handing you your drink before slipping his now empty hand around your waist.
A sharp streak of desire skitters across your skin at being claimed by Lando as he pulls you in for a quick kiss. The small reassurance that he's here for you and only you settles something in your bones and you don't miss the glint of jealousy in your friends face as she watches the two of you come together.
"You guys are so cute together." Fiona coos across from you. "How did you meet again?"
Your eyes dart over to Lando, and he winks at you, encouraging you to answer the question. A small smile plays on your face as you recount the beginning of your story with him. "I had been invited to be at the Miami race last year by Ferrari."
Next to you, you can practically feel Lando roll his eyes. 2 years later, he's still bitter you started off as a Ferrari fan and not in papaya. You pinch at his arm softly, knowing that he was shaking his head at the thought.
"And I was in the paddock when Fernando Alonso went flying down the sidewalk and nearly took me out. My knight in shining armor pulled me out of the way just before I was nearly made road kill."
"Swept her right off her feet." Lando quips as he squeezes your hip, nostalgic smile playing at the corner of his mouth as he barely resisted the urge to kiss you right in front of everyone.
"He offered to take me to lunch in the McLaren hospitality suite after threatening to put Alonso into the wall as retaliation for nearly killing me."
"I was a goner the moment I saw her walking down that sidewalk and then Nando did me the biggest favor of my life." Leaning down, Lando nuzzles into your neck, not caring that your friend is right there, watching you both with an amused smile on her face.
"I somehow found myself in the McLaren garage a few weeks later in Montreal, which someone still refuses to admit he's responsible for two years later." You bump your hip against your boyfriends, grinning over at him like a lovesick puppy.
Lando just shrugs, "I had absolutely nothing to do with that." He says, faux innocence lacing his voice.
Which, of course, was been a total lie. Seeing you draped in Ferrari scarlet had jealousy coursing through his veins the entire time he had been with you that first day in Miami. Lando had fallen hard and fast for you, something that had taken him completely by surprise. The way you laughed so quickly and easily, the way you put your entire soul into anything you did, the way you loved so loud and so boldly had him craving time with you, no matter how short it was.
He had gone straight to the PR department the next time he had been at the MTC, requesting special VIP passes be sent to you to the next race you were available for. Gina, who was responsible for coordinating guest passes and celebrity invites, had been shocked at his insistence at inviting someone who didn't do F1 related content or anything but had, of course, complied with the driver's request and began working on getting you to another race.
When that invite had landed in your managers inbox, you had agreed nearly instantaneously, remembering how good it felt to have Lando's full attention on you even as briefly as it had been in Miami.
"God, you guys are so cute, it's gross." Fiona gushes as you two get lost in each other's gaze as if she's not even standing right in front of you.
Lando reaches in his pocket for his phone before handing it over to Fiona. "Would you mind taking some pictures of us in front of the tree?"
You glance over at him, somewhat surprised at his request. It wasn't that Lando didn't like taking pictures with you, most of the time he indulged your requests because he did love getting those pictures together with you and he knew it was part of your job, but you knew that he preferred his privacy when it came to his personal life. "You sure?"
Lando nods, no hint of insincerity on his face. Fiona takes Lando's phone without hesitation and directs the pair of you on the best angle to take advantage of the twinkling fairy lights above and on the tree behind you.
As you listen to your friends direction, enjoying the way Lando's hands sit heavily on your hips when he pulls you closer, you're filled with gratitude and appreciation for your boyfriend, glad he had insisted you come tonight despite your initial reservations.
yourinstaname posted
299,948 likes liked by therealfiona, landonorris, charlottetilbury, and others yourinstaname It's the most wonderful time of the year. thank you to @/charlottetilbury for inviting us out for such a lovely evening. (photo cred to @/therealfiona.) (tagged: landonorris, charlottetilbury) therealfiona I should look into a career as a photographer. lovely to see you babes, can't wait to see you for New Years!! >>>yourinstaname profesh photog material for sure! xox landonorris whoever had the idea to take these pictures deserves an extra kiss tonight >>>yourinstaname you're literally sat two feet away from me rn, come get your reward. >>>user938 i'm obsessed with boyfriend lando >>>yourinstaname me too! đ
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(If you want to be added or removed, let me know! Also, if youâd prefer to only be tagged in certain types of fics, like just my Lando or just my max stuff, send me a message. Iâm going to try to keep a better tag list organized going forward and I donât want to keep tagging people who donât want to be tagged đĽš)
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#boyfriend lando#christmas fic#lando norris fluff
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Mr. Flanagan, Iâd like to ask a question and I deeply hope that it does not offend or upset you. I am strongly considering canceling my Netflix subscription due to their new password sharing policy. However, Midnight Mass is one of my favorite shows of all time and I know it isnât available on DVD, and Iâm also profoundly anticipating your take on my favorite Edgar Allen Poe story. So I wanted to ask your take on people accessing your work through, uh, other means. If itâs something thatâs offensive to you or will harm you or the other people who work so hard on these shows, Iâll happily keep my Netflix just so that I can keep supporting your work. I respect you far too much as an artist to do otherwise.
Again, I really hope Iâm not upsetting you by asking this question. Thank you for everything, and I hope youâre having a great day!
(NOTE 6/4/2024: I'm editing this entry because, well over a year since it was posted, some journalists dug this up and used it to create click-bait headlines that are misleading, out of context and artificially combative. While I was of course disappointed over the years that Netflix opted not to release my work on physical media, I never experienced any hostility or aggression in those discussions, and I sincerely regret the manner in which this post was used in the press this week.)
Hi there - no offense taken whatsoever, in fact I think this is a very interesting and important question.
So. If you asked me this a few years ago, I would have said "I hate piracy and it is hurting creators, especially in the independent space." I used to get in Facebook arguments with fans early in my career when people would post about seeing my work on torrent sites, especially when that work was readily available for rent and purchase on VOD.
Back in 2014, my movie Before I Wake was pirated and leaked prior to any domestic release, and that was devastating to the project. It actually made it harder to find distribution for the film. By the time we were able to get distribution in the US, the film had already been so exposed online that the best we could hope for was a Netflix release. Netflix stepped in and saved that movie, and for that I will always be grateful to them.
However...
Working in streaming for the past few years has made me reconsider my position on piracy.
In the years I worked at Netflix, I tried very hard to get them to release my work on blu-ray and DVD.
It became clear very fast that their priority was subscriptions, and that they were not particularly interested in physical media releases of their originals, with a few exceptions.
While companies like Netflix pride themselves on being disruptors, and have proven that they can affect great change in the industry, they sometimes fail to see the difference between disruption and damage. So much that they can find themselves, intentionally or not, doing harm to the concept of film preservation.
The danger comes when a title is only available on one platform, and then - for whatever reason - is removed.
We have already seen this happen. And it is only going to happen more and more. Titles exclusively available on streaming services have essentially been erased from the world. If those titles existed on the marketplace on physical media, like HBO's Westworld, the loss is somewhat mitigated (though only somewhat.) But when titles do not exist elsewhere, they are potentially gone forever.
The list of titles that have been removed from streaming services is growing.
I still believe that where we put our dollars matters. Renting or buying a piece of work that you like is essential. It is casting a vote, encouraging studios - who only speak the language of money - to invest more effort into similar work. If we show up to support distinct, unique, exciting work, it encourages them to make more of it. It's as simple as that. If we don't show up, or if they can't hear our voice because we are casing our vote "silently" through torrent sites or other means - it makes it unlikely that they will take a chance to create that kind of work again.
Which is why I typically suggest that if you like a movie you've seen through - uh - other means, throw a few dollars at that title on a legitimate platform. Rent it. Purchase it. Support it.
But if some studios offer no avenue for that kind of support, and can (and will) remove content from their platform forever... frankly, I think that changes the rules.
Netflix will likely never release the work I created for them on physical media, though I'll always hold out hope.
Some of you may say "wait, aren't The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor available on blu-ray and DVD?" Yes, they are, because they were co-produced with Paramount, and I'm grateful that Paramount was able to release and protect those titles. (I'm also grateful that those releases include extended cuts, deleted scenes, and commentary tracks. There are a number of fantastic benefits to physical media releases.)
But a lot of the other work I did there are Netflix originals, without any other studio involvement. Those titles - like Midnight Mass, The Midnight Club, and the upcoming Fall of the House of Usher - along with my Netflix exclusive and/or original movies Before I Wake and Gerald's Game - have no such protections. The physical media releases of those titles are entirely at Netflix's discretion, and don't appear to be priority for the studio at this time.
At the moment, Netflix seems content to leave Before I Wake, Gerald's Game, Midnight Mass, and The Midnight Club on the service, where they still draw audiences. I don't think there is a plan to remove any of them anytime soon. But plans change, the industry changes.
The point is things change, and each of those titles - should they be removed from the service for any reason - are not available anywhere else. If that day comes - if Netflix's servers are destroyed, if a meteor hits the building, if they are bought out by a competitor and their library is liquidated - I don't know what the circumstances might be, I just know that if that day comes, some of the work that means the most to me in the world would be entirely erased.
Or, what if we aren't so catastrophic in our thinking? What if it the change isn't so total? What if Netflix simply bumps into an issue with the license they paid for music (like the Neil Diamond songs that play such a crucial role in Midnight Mass), and decide to leave the show up but replace the songs?
This has happened before as well - fans of Northern Exposure can get the show on DVD and blu-ray, but the music they heard when the series aired has been replaced due to the licensing issues. And the replacements - chosen for their low cost, not for creative reasons - are not improvements. What if the shows are just changed, and not by creatives, but by business affairs executives?
All to say that physical media is critically important. Having redundancy in the marketplace is critically important. The more platforms a piece of work is available on, the more likely it is to survive and grow its audience.
As for Netflix, I hope sincerely that their thinking on this issue evolves, and that they value the content they spend so much money creating enough to protect it for posterity. That's up to them, it's their studio, it's their rules. But I like to think they may see that light eventually, and realize that exclusivity in a certain window is very cool... but exclusivity in perpetuity could potentially limit the audience and endanger the work itself.
#midnight mass#haunting of hill house#the midnight club#the haunting of bly manor#physical media#streaming#piracy#torrent#film preservation
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A very self indulgent Billford playlist!
Self indulgent, because this music does not appeal to the masses at all; these songs are limited to the stuff I listen to. So Iâm being VERY transparent about my embarrassing taste in music right now! Plus, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!!! But I hope some of these resonate with you. This is a little collection Iâve formed in my phone notes since I got into this ship a couple weeks ago.
Not a fancy spotify playlist, itâs just links to the music on youtube.Â
Iâve got this divided into parts:
-The Billford Songs
-The In This Moment Billford Songs
SO MUCH of their music is enemies/lovers perfection. Iâve thought about so many *killing you but also making out with you* pairings to this shit, because these songs were like, DESIGNED to be recycled for any and all love hate relationships, and still hit insanely hard EVERY TIME. So now that you have these songs under your belt, you have them FOREVER. Youâre welcome. I havenât even listened to all their music, Iâm sure thereâs more songs for this category that I simply havenât discovered.
-TheâŚMaybeâŚBillford Songs
My standards were kinda high for making this list. But every song is about your ship when youâre insane, right??? So these are the maybeâs. Oneâs Iâve thought about billford to, but maybe the lyrics donât totally align.
Playlist under the cut! I wasnât gonna ramble about each song but WHOOPS I DID đ¤ˇââď¸
The Billford songs:
Monophobia - Deadmau5 (Extended version, cuz itâs the best.)
THE LYRICS⌠THE LYRICS!!!! Definitely bill pining in theraprism.Â
Propane Nightmares - Pendulum
This one WAS gonna go in the maybeâs, but I convinced myself otherwise after listening to it eighty more times, and now itâs up here on top. And fuck it, this is the *self indulgent* billford playlist, so I do what I want. I go into a fucking trance when I listen to this song, so I canât really explain 110% why this is a billford song to me, but Iâll try. Apparently, this song is about the heavens gate cult. So not enemies/lovers angst. But looking at the lyrics, you could interpret it as giving yourself to something greater, and coming to the realization that what you pledged yourself to is actually a very bad thing which will ultimately destroy you. (also, you canât deny that there was some cult like manipulation happening with Bill and Ford. Sense of purpose and friendship.) Definitely billford-y when you consider Fords commitment to bill. And Iâll admit, when I listen to it, there is some pov switching. Because the âtrail of fireâ, âwe will be as oneâ, and âbring it on homeâ is VERY reminiscent of bill executing weirdmageddon. So overall, my interpretation of this song is Ford feeling torn about bill, feeling regret, feeling scared, and Bill of course, just wanting to bring the dimensions together. âBRING IT ON HOME!!!!â Or I just like the song.Â
Rule 34 - Fish in a Birdcage
Bestie recommended this song to me. It needs no explanation.
Painkiller - The Queenstons
âŚNEEDS NO EXPLANATION DSKFDSKJHF Itâs similar to the above, just more⌠scary imo. Violent. Definitely bill being a little psycho. I really love this song. Itâs very recyclable too. You have it for any toxic ship now.Â
9V - The Queenstons
One of my favorite Lapfox/Halley Labs songs⌠Iâm gonna give you the lyrics, itâs a bit hard to understand without them. In my eyes, itâs about betraying Ford. Also these vocals (and other music by this artist) works so well for bill because of the synthesized voice.Â
LoveBOMB - S3RL
This is a new S3RL song. This song sounds like a tantrum, and I really liked it when I first heard it, but it didn't fit anything I was into at the time. Luckily, bill suffered a horrible breakup, and now this song has itâs meaning.Â
When I'm There - S3RL
Bill thinking about joining the third dimension with Ford.Â
Click Bait - S3RL
Iâve listened to this one a LOT before this, and I surprised myself with how much it aligns with bill, specifically, him tricking Ford.
Space-Time - S3RL
Speaks for itself.
Sodom & Gomorrah - Dorian Electra
This oneâs just funny :)
The In This Moment Billford Songs
Sick Like Me
Sexual Hallucination
This is one of those recyclable songs, but I was damn surprised at how well the lyrics suited them, because it alludes to being out of body, possession, etc.
Blood
Half God half devil
Roots
Whore
Damn it, I cant deny this one suits them.
Big Bad Wolf
DAMN IT I wasnât gonna include this one, but I just checked the lyrics and fuck, it works. In this moment, how are you so wonderful
TheâŚMaybeâŚBillford Songs
Illuminaughty - Infected Mushroom
I'm kind of grasping at straws with these lyrics, but with a title like that? Come on
The Pretender - Foo Fighters, Infected Mushroom, Turbo Remix
Three versions, for whichever suits your fancy.
Leopold - Infected Mushroom
This one has NO LYRICS, but it has this buildup that sounds really cool, and it has an abrupt decrescendo. Reminds me of their "friendship" and how it all came crashing down.
Idolize - Dorian Electra
Hmmmmm, I just like Dorian. But the idolization thing works for obvious reasons.
Thatâs it! Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll do an expansion pack of sorts if I find enough songs for a part 2.
#billford#billford playlist#gravity falls#bill x ford#ford x bill#stanford pines#bill cipher#playlist#gravity falls playlist#billford fanart#gravity falls fanart
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Knock, Knock
Billy Loomis x Fem!Reader x Stu Macher
(NSFW)
This is my first time writing oneshot, let alone smut. English is not my first language so bear with me.
Warning: Reader is a Virgin, Cussing, alot of cursing, knife play, mask kink, bondage, fingering, cunnilingus, deep throat, anal, threesome, and double penetration.
*Bold - Voice modulator, Italic - inner voice
âHello?â
âHello.â
You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn't recognize this deep voice talking to you.
âWhoâs this?â Instead of hanging up, your gut feeling tells you to continue the conversation with this stranger. Maybe youâll get something out of it.
âYou donât need to know about me. I just want to talk to you.â
âNow why should I do that? Stranger danger. Didnât your parents teach you that?â You saunter around the kitchen counter and stare at the sets of kitchen knives. You pull out a cleaver and wait for them to reply.
The stranger chuckled, amused with your response.
âJust want to call you so I get to know you better.â
You poked your tongue inside your cheek. You put the knife back in its place, humming to yourself.
âAlright, Mr Stranger. You got my attention and I'm bored as hell. Shoot your million dollar question.â You leaned your back on the counter, hand in pocket while another's still holding the phone.
âTell me, do you like scary movies?âÂ
âUhh, yeah.â
âWhatâs your favorite scary movie?â
âDoes The Addams Family count? 1991 is the best.â You shrugged, checking your nails. The voice grumbled, annoyed with your movie choice.
âThatâs not even a scary movie. And itâs a kid show.â
âExcuse me, that movie is my fave and you donât get to judge my beloved Morticia Addams just because I watch a âkid showâ. Besides, that movie is still considered horror okay. Take examples like Tim Burtonâs production. Even though most of his movies are suitable for children, he still wants to insert horror elements so they could find comfort and wonât make them feel scared anymore. You should try Nightmare before Christmas or maybe Edward Scissorhand for starters.â you jested. Â
âNot my kind of style. Edward is weird as fuck.â
âOh now youâre crossing the line Mr. Nobody. Fun fact for you, Johnny Deep with or without heavy makeup is hot as fuck. Hell, if thereâs any Johnny copycat out there, Iâll ride his dick straight away.â you mused. The audacity of this guy.
The stranger hummed.
Is it creepy that I can see him smiling through the phone?
âYou should be careful what you wish for. It might come true.â
âThen, Amen for that. I ainât regret what I said so if you have a problem with it, you jerked your tiny dick somewhere else.âÂ
He chuckled darkly.
âSo, do you have a boyfriend?â
"What if I have one? Or maybe a girlfriend? What ya gonna do about it?â You rolled your eyes.
The phone went dead silent until a deep growl came out on the line. His voice changed to menacing.
âYou donât have a boyfriend. Youâre not even lesbian.â
âSlow down tiger. I can change my preference wherever I want. Anyway, congratulations! Youâre successful become from a total stranger to a fucking creep. Now no more games with me. What do you want?â You huffed, getting annoyed and a little creep out with his manic voice.
âOh baby, you think this is a game? Iâll play a real game for ya. Knock, Knock.â
You yelped when you heard someone banging on your front door.
Shit. Wrong move.
You pull out a metal bat under the counter like you knew this would gonna happen and check around, especially every closed door inside the house. You already watched too many horror movies with Randy that you even know where the killer always comes out from.
âI ask you want more time. What the hell do you want from me?â
âYou wanna know, you have to play the game with me.â
You jumped when you heard another banging. And this time, at your backyard.
âKnock. Knock.â
You gulped and took a glimpse at your back. As you saw nobody's there, you pressed your back on the wall and focused on the front door.
âWhoâs there?â
You make sure all the doors and windows are already locked as your father went out training with his buddies. He says he will be coming home late. Â
Double. Shit.
âJohnny.âÂ
You innerly scoffed. Oh he likes this game too much.Â
âJohnny where?â
âClever girl. Guess.â
You rushed to the front door and took a look outside from the window. No one was there. You blurted out the answer.
âThe backyard.â
âWrong.â
You shrieked as the sound of a crash came out from the living room. You ran there to see a big gape hole at your now shattered window. You scanned the whole room. Only one wooden chair and shattered glass all over the floor.Â
He couldnât make it inside that fast. You raised the phone as you heard his voice.
âI give you a second chance. Knock, knock.â
âOh fuck you with your knock knock shit game! What do you want from me?!â
âI want youâŚto ride me.â
You inhaled sharply at his answer as you turned around with a bat raised in front of you.Â
âYouâre messing with the wrong person here.â You spitted. He chuckled mockingly, amazed that you still have a bit of spite even though you know you're about to lose the game.
âYou should be asking where I am, (Y/N).â He enunciated your name deeply.
Sweat trickle down your temple as you took a step back one at the time. This stranger knowing your name just shot up your nerve haywire.
âWhere the fuck are you shithead.âÂ
âBehind you.â
You turned around and hit the phone right to the side of his face.
His Ghostface leather mask to be exact.Â
He covered his head from the hit with his gloved hand and you took that opportunity to bash his head with your metal bat. He doubles in pain as you hit his back with more force and knocks his feet to the floor. He lay on his back, gripping his back painfully as you stepped on his body.
âNow letâs see who's behind the mask.â
Before you could bend down to grab his mask, the air got knocked out from you as someone rammed from your side. Your head got slam on the floor hard followed by a body that stumbled right above you.Â
Thereâs two of them?!
You tried to pry him off from you but it was no use. You could see from your blurred vision that two masked men were now crowded right in front of you.Â
The first guy above your head took both of your hands and held them tight, giving out a painful moan from you, while the other one sat on top of your low waist between his thighs, securing your legs from moving.
You tried to trash your body only to feel a sharp knife under your throat. You looked up to see the second guy shaking his head.Â
A warning.
âLooks like you lost the game.â Second ghostface seems satisfied seeing you beneath him. The knife in his hand trailed lower and lower to your neck. You could feel a prick of pain as the knife cut deep at your collarbone.
âLosers need to pay the price.â The first ghostface giggled, bringing out a rope from his black robe and tied your hand above your head.
âTwo against one? Really fair, does it?â You gritted your teeth. Even though youâre already at their mercy, your mouth still runs like a goddamn sailor.
âDidnât know this should be a fair game.â Second ghostface shrugged, still lingering his knife around your neck area.Â
âSo what? You gonna kill me?âÂ
âCareful, you shouldnât challenge a killer with a knife. Now you said it, that does sound tempting.â The killer dragged down his knife to your waist. The cold of his blade sent chills down your spine as it put pressure on your stomach, emphasizing his words.
You gulped as you eyed the two ghostface. The one that sat on top of you seems like a person you donât want to mess with. The way his voice held authority, meaning if he wants to kill you, heâll make sure youâre good as dead. Even though heâs wearing a mask, you could feel his hot gaze on your throat to your collarbone that already bleed out from the small cut. His gloved hand reached out, smearing your oozing blood with his thumb. He loves it, you can tell.   Â
Another one above your head, however he's a different kind of persona. He seems to like goofing around and having fun stabbing his victim. More sadistic, more of an unhinged bastard. If he takes his mask off, you bet he'll be that funny, easy going guy. His head tilted to the side, staring at your body in awe. Like you'll become his biggest meal tonight.
"But since you beat my friend here, I'll give you a chance. If you want to live, you need to do something for me." He hinted at the end of his sentence. The first Ghostface started to laugh hysterically.Â
Somehow you know what he meant, knowing what they're gonna do to you.
"What do you mean?" You shuddered.
In a split second, he pulled your body and switched position, making you on top of him. You could feel the bulge between your legs as his hands gripped your waist.
"You know what I meant."
Your whole body shivered in fear and excitement. You donât know why your body react that way. Fear, yes but also excites you?
You already soaked in your panties, though it was the adrenaline of the chase.
You subtly rubbed yourself on his groin. He sighed in content as you kept rubbing his hard on.Â
âThatâs it, babe.â His breath ragged as both his hands moved your hips and pressed deeper to his crotch. His hips thrust to your core, making you let out a soft moan.Â
You feel someone's hand held the back of your head, turning you to meet the first Ghostface. His gloves were already gone from both hands, as heâs working on to half-done his zipper jeans.
âOpen your mouth, kitten." He slipped his thumb, pressing your lips to open. He inserted two fingers in and out as you swirl your tongue around his fingers. They were so long that you gagged as it reached at the back of your throat. When he pulled out his fingers, a string of saliva coated them.
âIâve never done this before.â Your face was red, embarrassing to admit that you never had sex before.
âWe know youâre a virgin.â He whispered. His thumb stroking your lower lip, his mask titled to the side.
âDon't worry about that. We promise to make you feel good, m'okay?" The Ghostface under you sat up, his hand tugged teasingly at your waistband while the other one caressed your cheek. His deep voice is surprisingly tender, luring you in like a moth to his flame.
Without thinking, you nodded at his words.
Beneath those masks, their smirk grew wider, finally getting you hooked with them.Â
"Lift your hips for me, baby."Â
He tore his gloves from his hands and guided your hips upward. As you stand on your knees, he tugged down your shorts and panties in one go. You gasped at how rough, desperate he wanted to strip you naked.Â
He took out his knife and started to rip them in half. You shiver from the cold as your clothes discard aside.
A pair of hands from behind reach out to your breast and fondle them. You whimpered as he pulled and squeezed your nipples. Another hand slipped to your wet cunt, thumb circling your clit.
"Gosh, your pussy is so wet for us. We're just getting started." He mused. Slowly, he inserted two fingers inside you, thumb still rubbing your clit. You shuddered, your back laid on someone's chest, who still continued grasping your breast.
"Look at you, seeking pleasure from two psychotic serial killers. Ain't ya a dirty little slut." The one from behind cackled in manic, enjoying seeing you completely vulnerable for him.
You subconsciously ride your hips with his fingers inside you, reaching your high. Your tied arms pressed in front of his chest as his friend from behind starts to dry hump your ass. You could imagine how big their dicks are, one pressing from the back while the other one underneath your pussy, still finger fuck you.
As if they knew you're about to come, he pulled out his fingers. You let out a small whine, feeling the loss of your pussy to be filled. He dip his finger beneath his mask, groaning in pleasure as he tasted your juices with a mix of blood.
Your hair got clutched from behind and dived you to his tent. When he pulled down his boxer, you were awestruck at how thick and veiny his hard rod is. He tapped his dick on your mouth, precum smeared at your lower lips.
"Like what you see?" He chuckled, seeing you looking at his cock like that got him more turned on.Â
You flustered, eyeing the two black holes resemble eyes staring at you, silently to gain his permission. He nodded, pushing his tip further into your lips.
You subtly open your mouth, licking his precum and heard his deep groan in return. This made you sucked and licked his tip and moved your hand up and down his length.
He tilted his head back. Though you couldn't see with his mask on, a sense of pride grew in you, pleased to see him feel that way.
"You're sure this is your first time? Fuck, this feels amazing." He bucked his hips in your mouth.
"Open your mouth wide open, tongue down. I'm a deep throat till you swallow all of my cum." You do as he said. He thrust his dick deep in your throat, making you gagged but you held it in.Â
He fucked your mouth relentless, both his hands keeping you in place. Tears pooling down your face as saliva spilling from your mouth until your nose touches his pelvis. You tapped his thigh, coughing up when he pulled out his dick from your swollen lips.
You're too focused on the man in front of you, that your ass was raised in the air and gasped as you felt a tongue licking at your entrance.
"Damn I can eat this pussy all day." He growled from behind, licking and biting your clit. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as his tongue does wonders to you.Â
You gagged as he pounds in and out of your mouth, while from behind a tongue lick deep in your entrance. His nose teasing your clit, earning you a moan vibrating through the dick in your mouth. Both of them release low moans, reaching their high.
You tap his thigh, pull you away from his dick as you feel a knot in your stomach.
"I-I some-something d-down there." You cried out, feel his friend's wet tongue thrust in and out of your cunt. You gasped from sensation, as he's licked your rim hole.
"Then cum all over his mouth, princess. Let him taste every drop." He strokes his dick as you stick your tongue out to his tip. You feel your release as the man behind lapping your juices clean.
"God, she tastes so good. I wanna fuck her wet cunt till she's scream."
The killer in front of you didn't say a word, staring at his friendÂ
"You can't have her. She beat you up, remember?"
"The fuck that's supposed to mean? We won, she lost."
"Correction, you get beat to a pulp and I'm the one stopping it. So, I get the prize and you just, I don't know. Enjoy the show?"
"I'm already hard and youâre telling me just to watch you all over her? Hell no man!"Â
They way they're talking about you like you aren't there bothers you, but at the same time kind of hot.
You could tell his friend was frustrated, agitated while him with you on his lap stroking his tip to your folds. You whimpered as he nudged his face mask closer to your neck. You could feel his wet tongue licking and sucking at the cut he gave you.Â
Deep down you know your choice terrifies you but you don't want his friend left behind.
"There's two holes for a reason, ya know." You mumbled low, but somehow both killers caught on to what you said. They both were stunned. Not long after, the one you sit on his lap snickered darkly.
"You're one dirty little virgin. Didn't know you're into that." He gripped your hips closer to his already hard crotch. You blushed at his indication.
Truth is, you stumbled upon a porn magazine from Stu's wardrobe, asking you for his sweatpants as he was in the bathroom. Curiosity kills you when you open the magazine, the page showed a blond woman penetrated by two men, dick in her cunt while another in her ass.
The image haunted you yet deep down you want to know how it feels like, to get banged by two. As you stare at her lustful face, you jump when you hear Billy's voice from outside Stu's room. So, you threw away the magazine and hastily grabbed his shorts. When Billy enters the room, he stares at you intensely. He always does every time you're in his sight. He raised an eyebrow as you gave the shorts, muttered, "Give it to Stu, he wants it." and you made a mad dash out of his room.
You know for the fact that the chances you're getting DP is slim to none. But seeing as of now, your fuzzy brain was like why not.
"You're an angel, you know that? That's why you're perfect for us." The frustrated Ghostface was now like he's in cloud nine when you told him that, hugging you from behind.
"You're meant for us, (Y/N). Remember that." The one with you on his lap was now laying down on the floor, bringing you with him so that your pussy was placed right on his outstretched cock. As his tip penetrated your entrance, you whimpered as the slight discomfort got you. As your tied arms gripped the black cloth of his front, his hand teasing your clit, trying to distract you from the pain.
As he is completely inside you, the discomfort was replaced slowly with pleasure, fullness from his thick length. His sighed in relief, loving his dick snug deep in your pussy like a vice.
"Fuck you're so tight, baby." He rasped as he helped adjust his length inside you. When he felt you ready, he slowly thrust in and out of you, making you moan.
"You like that? You like riding this cock?" His slow thrust became erratic as he rammed your throbbing cunt. Your mouth gaped open, couldn't reform words when he hit you at the right spot.Â
"Y-yes, right there. Shit! You're so big." You uttered breathlessly, bouncing his dick as he thrust deeper in you.Â
As you ride him, you feel another one trying to penetrate your asshole. You jumped at the sudden intrusion, stopping you as he continued to push in, hissing at your shoulder.
"S-shit! My cock gonna cut in half if you keep squeezing me like that." He buried his face on your neck as he roughly thrust you in one go, making you scream.
"M'sorry babe. Can't help it."
You try to glare at his face, or more precisely his mask. You could imagine his stupid grin, staring at you adoringly.Â
This is too much. For you, a virgin and never been fuck let alone anal, this is a lot to take in. You could feel their dicks stretched inside every hole of you down there. You try adjusting to this new stimulation. Theyâre both moving in sync, in and out of you, feeling both of their dicks rubbing your wall one at the time. It makes you see stars as they fasten their phase.
Skin slapping filled the room, with your moan and their groan in a mix.
âFuck fuck fuck Iâmma cum!â You feel his hand gripping your hips as his thrust turns sloppy. Your body started to shake as the one beneath encircled his arms around you, keeping you close to his chest as he slammed you hard on your g-spot.Â
You nearly scream from pleasure as orgasm washed over you, followed by the one behind, pumping his seed into your throbbing asshole. Your pussy tightens is all it needs from the one beneath you to paint his cum on your walls.Â
He gave his one hard, second thrust at your asshole then pulled out his softened cock. The way he stared at his cum spilling from your ass stirred something inside him.
His fingers subconsciously slipped his overflow cum inside your hole. For some reason, he doesnât want a single drop of his seed leaking out of you.
You take a deep inhale as your eyes flutter close, trying to calm from your euphoric state. You could hear his heartbeat thumping as your head laid on his chest, with him too catching his breath.
The only thing you remember is feeling a peck on your forehead and a kiss from your nape, with a deep raspy voice you manage to hear before exhaustion overtook your body.
âThatâs my good girl.â
After you pass outâŚ
âMan, thatâs the best thing happen in my life!â Stu sighed, satisfied as he pulled off his Ghostface mask and slipped in his now soft dick in his pants. He looked over at his friend who was still lying on the ground with their favorite girl on top of him.
âYou're lucky I came up with this plan. Knew it our girl had same fantasies like us.â He grinned, smiling like an idiot, while Billy too slowly took off the mask.
âIf you didnât pull out that porn magazine, she wouldnât even think about it, genius.â He murmured as he stroked your arm. He sighed in relief with his eyes closed, hearing your soft snores calmed him.
Maybe they could pay you another visit, and it will be on nice bed this time.
And sure as hell he'll make sure of that.
#billy loomis#stu macher#billy loomis x reader#stu macher x reader#ghostface x reader#poly ghostface x reader#billy loomis x reader x stu macher#billy loomis x stu macher x reader#scream 1996#scream fanfic
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golden retriver... bttm male reader
!!.. golden retriever bsf, yn is slightly tipsy but still fully aware, rough sex, creampie, grinding.
if your best friend is a dog type he would be a golden retriever.
he's quite literally the embodiment of it. everywhere you go he follows behind, a happy smile plastered on his face. he was almost like a lost puppy.
he also loves taking care of you and doing things for you every chance he gets, even things you could do yourself!
" yn, good morning! here, i got you your favorite drink. " he practically shoved said drink into your hand, your half-asleep state still trying to comprehend your surroundings.
" huh.. oh hey. thanks... " you groggily said, stepping away from the door and heading towards the bathroom to freshen yourself up. he let himself into your place, already familiar with it.
you came back to see him cooking your breakfast, humming a soft tune while placing your eggs on the plate. " yn, come sit down. "
you sighed while taking a sit on the stool of your island, your eyes boring into his back as you watched him lightly sway to the song he was humming.
" you know you don't need to cook me breakfast almost every day right? " you cracked open the drink he bought you and took a big gulp, already feeling rejuvenated by the drink.
he hummed and placed the breakfast in front of you, sliding his own portion next to yours. " eat up! "
after the delicious breakfast, came the time for you to do your house chores. you got up and grabbed both of his and yours plated, bringing it to the sink to clean it.
only for him to snatch it from you and wash it himself. along with the stacks of dirty dishes in your sink. you only rolled your eyes and walked away to do other stuff, knowing fighting against him would just be useless.
" so any plans today? " you asked him while folding your remaining laundry, him soon joining you. " ..mm nah. what's up? " he folded the last article of clothing and lay beside you, opting to place his head on your thigh.
your hand found its place in his hair almost immediately as if it was muscle memory. " well that one show that I've been wanting to watch finally dropped so.. beer and chicken tonight? "
he snickered below you, " you already know my answer, of course! "
and so, cans after cans of beer later and some delicious fried chicken, the both of you lay in each other embrace. the two of you weren't all that drunk because of your high alcohol tolerance yet you find yourself struggling to focus on the show.
were you actually drunk or is it because of the way your best friend is holding onto you right now?
you knew it was pretty common for best friends to cuddle but the way his big hand is cradling your waist right now along with his other hand right under your ass, his finger slightly touching it, is making your head spin.
not to mention his growing hard-on that you could literally feel since you were on top of him!
and you didn't know if there was something in the air last night or if tipsy you were just bolder but you decided to slowly grind against him causing him to have a full-on boner.
he on the other hand decided to ignore it and tried to focus on the movie in front of him.
you pouted at this and decided to continue grinding on him, trying to chase your own climax and also attempting to drive him over the edge.
but a firm hand grabbed onto both of your thighs, causing you to stop. " what do you think you're doing, yn? " he asked you, his voice way deeper than usual.
" i think you know what i'm doing. so stop playing dumb and give me what i want. " your voice is adamant, as your hands roam his chest.
he smirked and flipped the two of you, him now on top of you. both of his hands caged you in, making you more turned on than you already were.
" you better not regret saying that. "
" ahn! s-slow down! " you mewled out while gripping his biceps. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your dick twitched. your release finally comes soon after. the milky white substance staining your already cum stained stomach.
" again? we've barely just started, yn. " he chuckled above you. he loved seeing how overstimulated you look right now. he's been dreaming of making you a mess for a long time now.
when you first started grinding into him you didn't expect to get dicked down immediately by your own best friend and after experiencing just how rough he actually is, well, you're not complaining.
just seeing the desperate look on your face is making him go crazy. he's been dreaming about this moment for a long time.
he wondered just how you look like when he's on top of you, making a mess out of you. how do you look when you're overstimulated beyond your limit all because of him. just what type of sounds will pour out of you while he's deep inside of you.
and oh, this exceeds his expectations.
" mmh, yn. you look so pretty right now. " he sighed into your ear, his voice sending shivers up and down his spine. " i'm sure you can handle a few more rounds, yeah? " he gripped your hips again, getting ready to abuse your already puffy hole.
" no! i-i can't cum anymore-! " your whining was cut off by his harsh thrust, your tired voice seeming to be the cause.
you hooked your arms around his neck as a way to support yourself. loud moans escaped from your mouth, this only leading him to go faster. " fuck.. i-im cumming soon yn. "
your hole tightened as you heard his husky voice next to you, the hint of whining in his voice making you shake. " come inside me! p-please! need you in me so bad! "
he grunted out loud, his thrust soon stuttering and slowing down. " yn, fuck. you don't know how long i have been waiting for this.. "
with one last thrust, white soon painted your inside. his warm cum kept flowing more and more into your hole, making your own cum squirt out of your cock.
he immediately devoured you in a kiss, saliva dribbling everywhere. wet squelching sound enveloped the room accompanied by your heavy breathing. the movie that was long forgotten acting as white noise.
he separated himself from you to admire you and the mess he made of you. he smiles as he sees all the bite marks and hickeys littering around your body. the cum seeping out of your hole only made his dick hard again.
" shit.. i don't think i can let you go after this, yn. "
#tyunniez đˇ#tyunniez asks đ#x male reader#bottom male reader#bttm male reader#male reader#uke male reader#male x male smut#amab reader#is my writing still comprehensible
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sacred monsters: part one
pairing: lee heeseung x f reader
genre: academic rivals to lovers, vampire au, slow burn
part one word count: 19.3k
part one warnings: swearing, blood and all sorts of other vampire-y things, semi graphic descriptions/depictions of violence, I don't know anything about publishing and wrote about it anyway, not quite as much in this part, but I want to forewarn you that while there is still nothing explicit, we do get a little ~sexier~ than most stllmnstr fics
note/disclaimer: I have been itching to write an enha vampire fic for ages because hello? the material is RIGHT THERE!! this is a story I'm super excited about, and it's definitely gotten me out of my comfort zone. in order to help build this world, I did draw from some outside sources. primarily, a lot of the vampire lore and some plot elements are inspired by the dark moon webtoon series. I did also pull some things from twilight and other well-known vampire myths. lastly, there is a section with "poetry" in it. these "poems" are translated lyrics from still monster, chaconne, and lucifer by enhypen. some are in their original form and some I altered slightly. everything else is straight from yours truly! as always, happy reading âĄ
soundtrack: still monster / moonstruck / lucifer - enhypen / everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears / immortal - marina / supermassive black hole - muse / saturn - sleeping at last / everybodyâs watching me (uh oh) - the neighbourhood
â.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ë
A literature student in your third year of university, youâve been dreaming of having your writing published for as long as you can remember. With a perfect opportunity dangling at your fingertips, the only obstacle that stands in your way comes in the form of a ridiculously tall, stupidly handsome, and unfortunately, very talented writer by the name of Lee Heeseung. Unwilling to let your dream slip out of reach, you commit to being better than the aforementioned pain in your ass at absolutely everything.
But when a string of vampire attacks strikes close to your city for the first time in nearly two hundred years, publishing is suddenly the last thing on your mind. And, as you soon begin to discover, Heeseung may not quite be the person you thought he was.
â.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ë
The last sip of your coffee tastes bitter on your tongue. Acidic, like it was left to brew too long. Or maybe not long enough. Your limited knowledge of coffee extends to its effects on your alertness and little else.Â
Taste has always been an afterthought, something of little consequence. Besides, some bitterness is to be expected when you take your coffee black.Â
Suppressing the small wince that always follows your final sip, you set the reusable thermos down on your desk. Next to your open notebook and favorite ballpoint pen, it settles in nicely with your other class essentials.Â
Call it poetic or romantic or unbearably pretentious, but you actually do prefer to take your notes by hand. Partly because it feels more fitting for a literature major and mostly because your laptop is on its last leg and between tuition and rent, you donât exactly have the funds to shell out for a new one.Â
Frowning at the bitter taste that still lingers on your tongue, you feel another pang of regret for forgetting to pack your water bottle this morning. But no matter. Today is a day for optimism. The bitterness now only means that your imminent victory will taste that much sweeter in comparison.Â
Because today is the last day of the fall semester of your third year. Which means that this is the last morning youâll be sitting here in this lecture hall in the minutes preceding 9 am.Â
Which means that today is the day of your professorâs long awaited announcement. You still remember the day, nearly four months ago, when he first told the entire room of undermotivated, overcaffeinated students about it.Â
A publishing opportunity. A real, actual publishing opportunity. Something most literature students would sell their soul for.Â
Because Professor Kim, while a rather mediocre professor who prefers to dish out criticism and bite back praise, has an excellent eye for great writing. So much so that nearly twenty years ago, he founded his very own publishing house.Â
Known by the name New Haven Publishing, itâs a small operation that deals mostly in short pieces that are marketed more for niche literary circles than mass public appeal. Being published by New Haven may not be a straight shot to the New York Timesâ Best Sellers List, but itâs still professional publishing.Â
And a week into classes, he announced that for the first time ever, he would be choosing one of you to not only intern at New Haven the following semester, but also to publish an original piece of short fiction with them.Â
Youâve been fantasizing about it for months now. You can already imagine it. A piece of your very own, marketed and edited by professionals. Published and complete with Professor Kimâs stamp of approval.Â
Itâs what youâve been craving ever since you decided to switch paths and pursue literature studies at the end of your first semester. Itâs everything youâre sure you need. Validation that your writing is good, that your words are worth reading.Â
Hell, maybe it will even earn you the approval of your parents.Â
And, perhaps most satisfying of all, you will have officially beaten Lee Heeseng once and for all. You donât want to speak poorly of the rest of your classmates and their writing abilities, but this has always been a competition between you and him.Â
Or, at least, it has been for you.Â
Itâs the last day of the semester, and honestly, you wouldnât be surprised if Heeseung still had a hard time remembering that the internship was even happening. Then again, you wouldnât exactly be shocked if he couldn't remember your name, either. Â
And if you were hard pressed to choose only one thing, that would probably be what annoys you the most about him. Not the way his hair is alway somehow perfectly mussed. Not the way his writing is painfully beautiful and poetic that you swell green with envy just thinking about it.Â
No, the root cause of your infinite ire when it comes to Lee Heeseung is how damn aloof he is. Like his classmates and professors and even his greatest rival arenât worth the effort of remembering.Â
And itâs not like itâs because heâs got some kind of crazy social life outside of academics. Other than mandatory discussion groups, youâre not sure youâve ever seen him so much as talk to anyone.Â
But thatâs just the way he is, you suppose.Â
Perfect Heeseung with his perfect hair and his perfect writing and perfect attendance record doesnât need anyone but himselfâ
Wait.Â
Perfect attendance record.Â
Glancing at the clock mounted high above the front door of the lecture hall, you can hardly believe what youâre seeing.Â
8:59.Â
Thereâs no way. Thereâs no fucking way that the universe is rooting for you this hard, that the stars are aligning this perfectly.Â
Despite your doubts, the second hand continues its onward march. You suppress the sudden urge to bounce your leg in a matching rhythm.Â
He has five seconds.Â
Four. Three. Two. One.Â
And itâs official. A ridiculous amount of pent up tension drains from your shoulders as your spine straightens. You canât believe it was that easy.Â
A semester of agonizing over every word, every sentence, every assignment you handed in for this class. A semester of panicking over missed buses and waking up way too early just to make sure you always beat the clock.Â
But today is the day where everything comes to a head.Â
And Lee Heeseung is officially late.Â
Professor Kim, at the beginning of the semester, had only two pieces of advice to offer his students that were suddenly all gunning for a shot at being published:
One: âDonât make me read awful writing.â
And two: âDonât be late to class. I have zero tolerance for tardiness.â
Heeseung has just broken a cardinal rule. One row down, nine seats to the left from where you sit. Itâs the place that would usually be filled with an annoyingly broad set of shoulders and distractingly sharp jawline. In fact, Heeseung usually beats you here most days. Not that youâre keeping track, of course. And not that it matters.Â
Because this morning, this fateful morning, that particular seat, his seat, is glaringly, gloriously empty.Â
Your eyes flicker over to it again without your permission. But you canât help it. Youâre so antsy now, teeming with self-satisfied excitement. Itâs almost unbelievable actually. A golden stroke of luck that he chose today, of all days, to be late.
In fact, you think the more you stare at the empty seat, Lee Heeseung is such a reliable presence that the entire lecture hall suddenly seems a bit off kilter. Tilted too far in some precarious state of imbalance.Â
Your smugness is still there, yes, but now thereâs also a heavy feeling beginning to settle at the bottom of your gut. Why on earth is Lee Heeseung late?
Youâre so distracted by his absence, the endless loop of possibilities and explanations running through your mind, that you almost miss the second abnormality of the morning.Â
Because now the clock reads 9:04, and Heeseung isnât the only one missing.Â
All at once, your attention is on the podium at the front of the lecture hall. Itâs empty, too. And Professor Kim may be a hardass, but heâs no hypocrite. Never once throughout this entire semester has he ever begun a class even a millisecond late.
Frowning, you pull out your phone to confirm that the clock on the wall is not playing tricks on you. Maybe there was a power outage or something, and maintenance hasnât had time to correct it yet.Â
But your phone screen lights up, and 9:05 is the time that stares back at you.Â
Glancing around, no one else seems too particularly bothered by this. There are a few titters, a few annoyed grumbles that sound like hypocrite and double standard where they reach your ears.Â
But still, the clock ticks forward.Â
The minute hand has fallen another two notches when the front door finally opens, Professor Kim striding in unhurried. Despite his lateness, his steps are steady, even. Thereâs nothing frantic or apologetic about the way he sets his briefcase down next to the podium, pulling out his laptop and a small stack of notes before clearing his throat.Â
As the students around you fall silent, class begins as it always does. Other than the time, nothing is out of the ordinary.Â
But your spirits are still high, and you figure you can cut your professor some slack. Maybe he ran into a bad bit of traffic or spilled coffee all over his shirt. Maybe heâs too embarrassed to draw more attention to his error and has decided that not acknowledging it at all is the best course of action.Â
Oh, well. Itâs no use ruminating on it now. Settling back into your seat, you do your best to focus your attention on the front of the room and not that damn empty chair. But the distraction isnât necessary for long.Â
The clock is just striking 9:12 when a second late arrival draws the eyes of the class to the front door of the lecture hall. Like your professor, Heeseung maintains a certain air of composedness as he makes his way towards his seat wordlessly.Â
Thereâs a moment, a fraction of a second, where Professor Kim pauses, letting a sentence drift into silence.Â
Twelve minutes late. Itâs a rookie mistake. For a fleeting moment, you almost feel bad for him. Because surely Professor Kim is about to make an example of him. No one walks into his lectures late and leaves unscathed.Â
Wincing, you remember a handful of weeks ago when a poor girl that sits a few rows behind you arrived late. Not only had Professor Kim stopped the entire flow of his lecture to draw attention to her tardiness, he had also assigned her an extra short story for homework. One on the merits of punctuality.
But the ebb in the lecture begins to flow again, the moment passing as soon as it comes. Heeseung settles into his chair. Your professor resumes his sentence.Â
For the remainder of the class, you do your best to pay attention, but youâre having trouble finding a point. Itâs not like he can assign homework or an exam or a discussion on the last day of the semester.Â
Like you, most of your peers are fully zoned out, just waiting for him to get to what everyone has been dying to know for months.Â
Whoâs interning at New Haven? Whoâs getting published?
But distractions in this class have never been hard to come by. More than once, you find your wandering gaze drifting to the back of Heeseungâs head. Usually, youâd be bitterly admiring how soft his hair looks. But today, thereâs only one question that plays in your mind as you stare.Â
What on earth happened that made perfect Lee Heeseung late?
Your thoughts are only interrupted by the sudden shuffle of small movement around you as everyone sits up a bit straighter in their seats.Â
âAh,â Professor Kim glances at the time. âThat wraps up our semester, then. As promised, I would like to announce the student who will be interning with New Haven Publishing this upcoming semester. And, of course, the student that will have the opportunity to publish an original piece with us.â
He pauses for a moment, looking down at his notes. You wonder if the people sitting close to you can hear the way your heart pounds in your chest.Â
Please be me. Please be me. Please be me.Â
The rushing in your ears is so loud that you almost miss it. But not quite. Because the sound of your own name is something youâd recognize anywhere.Â
Because it was your name that he said. Not anyone elseâs. Not Heeseungâs.
You. You did it.Â
Youâre officially going to be interning with New Haven. Youâre going to be published.Â
When he asks you to stay a minute after class to discuss the details, itâs all you can do to nod. Butterflies are still scattered in your stomach.Â
As the rest of the students begin to file out, you pack up your materials with hands that shake slightly. It doesnât feel real. It feels too good to be true. You poured your everything into this all semester long, and now itâs actually happening.Â
Your mind is a mess, and an erratic movement almost sends your empty thermos flying. Luckily, you snap out of it long enough to catch it before it hits the ground. With everything packed back into your bag, you make your way down to the podium on slightly unsteady feet.Â
A handful of passing classmates congratulate you on their way out, and you smile in return.Â
Youâve almost made it to the front of the lecture hall when a body blocks your path. It takes a moment for your brain to register the identity of the offender. And once it does, it spits his name with venom. Heeseung.Â
Oblivious and self-centered as always, he nearly knocks you over. Rolling your eyes, you move to step around him. Apparently whatever gift he was given for writing doesnât extend to his spatial awareness or consideration for others.Â
But as you lean to the left, he follows the movement, still in your path. Your gaze snaps up, eyebrows raised when you find him already looking at you.Â
Oh. So itâs not a spatial awareness problem, then. Heâs in your way on purpose.Â
As always, his expression is infuriatingly blank. You canât get any sort of read on him, and it unnerves you. Irritates you. Here he is, blocking your path, and the only thing he has to offer you is an empty, silent stare.
You could just say excuse me, force your way around him, and be done with it. You should. The semester is over, your professorâs decision is made, and you have no stake left in this game.Â
But youâve been biting back snarky comments and masking irritated expressions with mild indifference for months. The nerve he has to block you. The utter gall of it all. To physically stand in your way when heâs been your metaphorical obstacle to success all semester.Â
When every time you look at him, you still remember that one sunny afternoon, early in the semester. The time you tried, actually tried to be his friend. When he waved you off like a buzzing fly that was nothing more than a nuisance.Â
You inhale, weighing your options. His head tilts slightly at the movement, and itâs your last straw.Â
Thereâs poison in your voice when you bite, âOh, what? Now that Iâve proved myself, you can spare some time out of your day to talk to me?â
Heeseungâs eyes widen, lips parting slightly. Itâs the most emotion youâve ever seen from him, and heâs wasting it on shock. As if he canât quite comprehend why the girl heâs been giving headaches for months might not want to stop and have a friendly chat with him. Not that you imagine heâd even be capable of that if you tried.Â
Already, you regret your comment. In a perfect world, you wouldnât have said anything. Youâd be just as detached and cold and aloof as he was on that day you hate to think about. You still remember it like it was yesterday. Without your permission, the memory floats front and center to your mind.Â
It was warmer, then. The last clutches of summer were still holding on tight. Sunlight was bright in the sky, and it felt like a good time to breach the barrier of your comfort zone.Â
Class had just ended. Usually, Heeseung was one of the first to leave. You had to pack up abnormally quickly just to catch him in the quad right outside the lecture hall.Â
But you did catch up to him.
And in a voice braver than you felt, you asked, âHey, itâs Heeseung, right?âÂ
Youâd been brighter, then. Still full of an energy you havenât been able to muster since midterms. Not yet burdened by the weight of assignments and rejection, your disposition was as sunny as the sky above.Â
Heeseung hadnât bothered to dignify your question with an actual answer, but he had at least stopped walking, and that seemed like an invitation at the time. Now, with the power of hindsight, you wince. You should have spared yourself the regret.
You remember watching as he pulled out his earbuds, tucking them back into his pocket before turning his attention to you. Or at least half of it. Even then, you never felt like he was truly looking at you, hearing you. His mind always seemed off in the distance, preoccupied somewhere you could never quite reach.Â
You recall being nervous, heat in your cheeks as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes tracked the movement like a cat tracks a ray of sunlight. Lazily, intently. With an energy you werenât quite sure what to do with.Â
Instead, you had stuttered, âI, uh, I wanted to tell you that I thought your analysis today was brilliant.â The worst part is that it really was a brilliant analysis. Although youâd never admit that today, and much less to his face.Â
Instead, you cringe just thinking about it. You should have taken his blank stare as a sign. You should have just let the one-sided conversation die there. With at least a little dignity and some of your pride left to spare.Â
But you hadnât.Â
âI never thought about the use of sunlight as a metaphor for life. I mean, now that youâve pointed it out, it seems kind of obvious.â The memory of your nervous giggles settle like rocks in your stomach. âAnyway, I feel like Iâm rambling, but if you ever want to get together and look through assignments or review each otherâs analyses, Iâd love toââ
Youâd heard his voice before, of course. In class discussions and presentations. But never this close. And never directed at you.Â
He kept it short, his interruption, his response to your shaky offer.Â
âIâm busy.â
And that was it. Two words. Two fucking words. And not even an explanation or an Iâm sorry or a sheepish expression to go along with them.Â
With that, youâd watched, a bit helplessly, as he pulled his earbuds out of his pocket, put them back into his ears and turned away from you before you could realize just how thoroughly youâd been rejected.Â
With a sudden haze in the air and hope dying in your heart, your friendly smile slipped into confused dismay as you watched him track a steady path across the quad.Â
If your cheekbones felt warm before, you were sure they must have been aflame by then. After all, it was your bodyâs natural response to the crushing weight of the embarrassment and thoroughly bruised ego heâd left you there standing with.Â
Fine then, youâd resolved after walking as quickly as you could in the opposite direction, sending a prayer to the heavens that no one from your class had just witnessed the most mortifying interaction youâve ever had. If Lee Heeseung wanted nothing to do with you, the feeling could be mutual.Â
In fact, it was probably for the best. You were vying for that internship and if the past class discussions were anything to go by, Heeseung would be your only real competition. If he was too busy for you, then you would just have to be too busy for him.Â
Too busy perfecting every assignment and acing every exam. Too busy drowning in dictionaries and thesauruses and reference materials to make sure everything you submitted was perfect â no, scratch that â better than perfect.Â
Too busy to attempt another conversation or interaction or do anything but nod along politely whenever he did make an unfortunately great point in class.Â
So, no. Heeseung doesnât get to dictate your time or attention or conversation now that youâve actually been awarded with a publishing opportunity, now that all of your efforts and dedication and late nights have paid off.Â
If Lee Heeseung wants a bit of your attention on today of all days, at this moment of all moments, then youâre just going to have to be too busy to entertain him.Â
Standing in front of you, still blocking your path to the podium, Heeseung has the nerve to look confused. As if you have no reason to give him the cold shoulder. As if youâre the one being unreasonable here.Â
His brow furrows further. âWhat?â Itâs the third word heâs ever spoken directly to you. It makes your blood boil. âNo, IâŚâ he trails off. You can practically see the gears running in his mind, like this wasnât the conversation he expected to be having. Like he has no idea how to navigate it now. âI was just going to say that you should maybe reconsider.â
Your voice is ice when you ask, âReconsider what?âÂ
âWellâŚâ Heâs treading in dangerous territory, and he seems to realize it too. âThe internship,â he clarifies, and itâs the second most insulting thing heâs ever said to your face.Â
You screw your eyes shut. Cold and detached. Blank and aloof. All the things you should be. But youâve always run a little hot. And end of the semester exhaustion finds you more willing to throw caution to the wind.Â
âYou have got to be fucking with me.â Eyes reopening, youâre met with that same expression of mild shock. Brows raised, lips parted. And god, he even looks good like that. âYeah, right. Let me guess, so you can do the internship and publish a piece of your own? If all you came over to do is insult me, then save your breath.â
âWhat?â He still looks so damn confused. âNo, Iââ
You donât want to hear it. âI have nothing to say to you.â If he wonât get out of your way, youâll just have to go through him. The shoulder check is maybe slightly more intense than it needs to be as you shove your way past him. He barely stumbles back an inch. It makes you want to rip your hair out. âBesides,â you add, not bothering to turn back to look at him. âIâm busy.â
Itâs a dig at him, yes, but itâs also true. You are. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and Lee Heeseung is not about to ruin it for you.Â
To your unending gratitude, he doesnât try to intercept you again. Your path to the front of the lecture hall is clear, and Professor Kim is just tucking his laptop back into his briefcase when you reach the podium.Â
Ultimately, itâs a watered down version of the million times youâve imagined this moment in your head. Even coming on the tail end of the most annoying interaction youâve had in months. Professor Kim congratulates you again, and hands you a printed schedule of when youâll be expected at the publishing office for the first time.Â
There are also submission dates. Deadlines for you to submit drafts of the piece that youâll be publishing. You take it all in with a beam and enthusiastic nods, mishap with Heeseung from minutes ago all but forgotten.Â
That is, until Professor Kimâs gaze lands somewhere over your shoulder after he tells you heâll also send you a follow-up email with all the information you need.Â
You watch as his expression shifts, something uneasy, distrustful entering his gaze as he looks beyond you. âSomething I can help you with, Mr. Lee?â
Following his gaze, you turn to look behind you. The lecture hall is empty, students cleared out from the class that dismissed nearly five minutes ago. All except for one, that is.Â
Gone is the shock from Heeseungâs delicately sharp features. Instead, he wears his mask of indifference again, betraying no emotion. You must be imagining the way it looks almost strained this time, as if heâs forcing his expression into neutrality instead of it there of its own accord.Â
Wordlessly, his gaze shifts to you.Â
And now itâs your turn to be confused, but you wonât let it last long. At least not outwardly. Youâre quick to match his gaze with nothing but pure ire, venom dripping seeping from every inch of your glare.Â
Is he seriously still trying to ruin this for you? So much for being busy.Â
âNo, sir.â Heeseung shakes his head. Heâs addressing your professor, but heâs still looking at you. A muscle ticks in his jaw, betrays a hint of tension. âI was just on my way out.â
True to his word, he begins a steady descent towards the front door.Â
Your professor clears his throat, turns his attention back to you, resuming the wrap-up of your conversation.Â
Youâre extra grateful for that follow-up email now, given the way movement in your periphery distracts you from Professor Kimâs last few statements. Instead, your focus hones in on the even footsteps that carry Heeseung to the door, allow him to slip through it silently.Â
It must be a trick of the light, must be a figment of your overworked, over irritated imagination. But you swear you see him linger there, just on the other side of the small glass window carved into the door.Â
Professor Kim says his parting words, and you thank him one final time. If thereâs an unnatural quickness in your footsteps as you turn to leave, you tell yourself that itâs because youâre excited to get started on your draft, not because you have the sneaking suspicion Heeseung is still standing just on the other side of the door.Â
But you swear thatâs his silhouette you see as you draw closer, shrouded in shadows but distinct all the same. Youâre debating the merits of shouting at him or maybe accidentally shoulder checking him again as you pull open the door handle, a little more roughly than you intend.Â
But the only thing that greets you on the other side of the door is a nearly empty hallway, save for the pair of students bent over a laptop a few paces away. You ignore their twin expressions of shock as you let the door fall closed behind you, much more calmly than you opened it.Â
âŚ..
The blank expanse of your notebook stares at you accusingly.Â
Youâd stare back, if that would somehow make words appear on the page. Sighing, you reach for your long forgotten cup of tea sitting on your desk. Taking a slow sip, you realize itâs gone cold.Â
That just makes you double down on your frustration. How long have you been sitting here, waiting for inspiration to strike?Â
People always talk about the merits of a change in scenery, but ever since you started your first semester of university three years ago, your favorite place to write has always been here, at the small, simple desk that sits in the corner of your bedroom.Â
Back then, writing was a hobby. Something to do when the last of your biochemistry homework was finished. A way to release pent-up stress and tension from long days in the university lab and long hours feeling like you were drowning between all of the extra study sessions, TA workshops, and office hours.Â
At first, it had been worth it. You maintained high grades and high spirits. Mostly because of the small sprinkles of support your parents showered you with.Â
Every little You got this! that lit up your phone screen on dreary afternoons and We believe in you! that made your evening lectures a little more bearable felt like tokens of your parentsâ affection. Something tangible to show for the care they held for you.Â
Most of all, you cherished the Weâre proud of you messages. You canât remember the last time you received one.Â
And itâs not like they were mad, exactly, when you told them you wanted to change majors. They did their best to be supportive in the ways that they knew how.Â
For your father, that was concern. âAre you sure? Literature? What do the job prospects after graduation look like?â
And for your mother, that was letting you know that she thought you were capable of more. Of better. âItâs not that literature is bad, sweetie. Itâs just⌠Well, youâve always been such a smart girlâŚâ
You get it; you really do. All the questions and prodding comments that felt like criticism were wrapped in nothing but love. But that didnât do much to soften the sting.Â
In the end, it was this desk that made you follow through with your change in major. Slumped in your hand-me-down chair late one Friday night, half finished lab report sitting untouched in your bag, the threat of tears burning at the corners of your eyes, all you wanted to do was write. Â
To put into words the feelings and emotions and fantasies and frustrations that you could never seem to express otherwise. To commit a piece of your soul to paper and wonder if maybe, just maybe, there was someone else out there who would read it and find a sense of solidarity, of common ground.Â
You submitted your official change request the next morning. You never regretted it once.Â
But your parents still make comments, still share their concerns. And for the last three years, you havenât had anything to show for it except for empty promises. But now, you have something. A real something.Â
Publishing a story of your own is the exact validation that you need that your choice was the right one. And itâs the proof you need to assuage your parentsâ fears, to show them that pursuing literature was the right call. That you can carve out a life for yourself with it.Â
Youâve fantasized about this for years. For the chance to have your voice heard, your words read. There are a million half-baked thoughts and partially written drafts scattered in your notebooks and digital documents and on the corners of takeout napkins that have been lying in wait for a moment just like this.Â
But no matter how hard you stare at the page in front of you, the words just wonât come. The more old drafts you scour, the more amateur your writing feels. The more you feel like maybe Heeseung should have won the internship over you.Â
Itâs a miserable cycle your brain works itself into. The less you write, the more you criticize, the more you wonder.Â
What if he hadnât been late that morning? What if Professor Kim was hoping to choose him instead? What if the reason he didnât say anything when Heeseung finally arrived in class was because he was so disappointed that his first choice wasnât an option anymore?
Groaning out loud to an empty room, your head falls on your desk with a muted thud.Â
Itâs there, facedown on your desk, where an idea strikes you. If you canât manifest a draft out of thin air, maybe you just need some parameters. A general guide to get the creative juices flowing.Â
Lifting your head back up, you push your notebook to the side and reach for your laptop. Opening a web browser, you navigate to New Haven Publishing Houseâs homepage.Â
Itâs a simple website, reflective of its simple namesake. Chin in one hand, you click the link that reads Recently Published.Â
The list that pops up is modest. Unlike a larger, more corporate publishing house, your professorâs self-made enterprise is churning out new releases at a slower rate and smaller volume.Â
Perusing the titles and descriptions, you note that the vast majority of the works are short form fiction. There are very few full length novels. The majority is made up of essay and poetry collections, short stories, and memoirs.Â
Scanning the list again, a title close to the top catches your eye.Â
The Thirst for Revenge: An Analysis of Contemporary Vampire Activity. It was published less than a month ago.Â
Your cursor hovers over the link, brow furrowing. It strikes you as odd that something so⌠archaic would be published so recently.Â
Professor Kim has always come across as a discerning man. Someone that prides himself on his well curated taste.Â
But vampires⌠thatâs hardly a headline worthy topic these days.Â
While most people still practice caution walking down dark alleyways at night and some even go so far as to carry charms infused with garlic cloves, monsters of the night are by and large a thing of the past.
The entire species of bloodthirsty, ravaging immortals were hunted to near extinction almost two hundred years ago. Those that survived relocated to remote areas. Some adapted to life in the countryside by learning to enjoy the taste of animal blood. Others found humans willing to donate small portions of their own blood intermittently. You wonât pretend to understand, but you suppose itâs preferable to the alternative. Â
Some still hunted in the traditional way, of course, but vampire attacks on humans are few are far between these days. After all, vampires, as a means of survival, have all but forsaken major urban areas. Population density spells demise for their species.Â
Youâd have to confirm through research, but if you remember correctly, the last recorded vampire-related death in your city was nearly two hundred years ago.Â
Without bothering to click on the link, you continue scrolling down. Honestly, it was probably just a fluke. After all, who knows? Maybe thereâs some niche circle out there that enjoys analyzing vampire literature, regardless of how outdated it is.Â
The next title seems a bit more promising. Shadowless Nights. The brief description marks it as a short story published half a year ago.Â
You click on it, take a sip of room temperature tea while the page loads.Â
Night was my favorite time of day, the first line reads.Â
I loved the stillness of it all, the all encompassing serenity. With the moon in the sky and stars in my eyes, every moment felt like a secret between me and the universe. Something we alone shared.Â
I whispered secrets to the earth and held hers in return. My days felt like dreams. Distant, blurry, faded. It was only then, in the distinct stillness of midnight, that I truly came alive.Â
Interesting, you think. Itâs a bit more melodramatic than you expected, but maybe your professor prefers a poetic touch.Â
In the night, I earned peace. And in the night, I learned fear.Â
It came slowly at first, that sinking feeling of dread. The horrible suspicion that made the hair on the back of my neck feel sharp, the air in my throat feel shallow.Â
But if I have learned anything of monsters, it is that they revel in that fear. That sickeningly overt reminder of mortality, of humanity. The way I couldnât help the racing of my pulse, the darting of my eyes.Â
He enjoyed it, toying with me from the shadows. Watching me become desperate, watching me become weak.Â
But it paled in comparison, Iâm sure, with what came next. Every story has its climax, and every beginning has its end. For him, it was the sweet, clean taste of my blood.Â
Wait. Another vampire story? One was strange enough, but for the last two published works at New Haven to be vampire related doesnât feel like a coincidence. Especially since the more you read, the more you realize itâs not as much of a story as it is thinly veiled anti-vampire rhetoric.Â
The dramatized descriptions of a weak, innocent female lead being victimized by a faceless, bloodthirsty monster. It just feels⌠strange. Outdated. Irrelevant, even.Â
Clicking back to the list, you scan over the next five entries. All of them are more or less the same. Some are more metaphorical than others, abstract in their rhetoric, but the topic is always the same. And the conclusion always affirms the immense, inevitable, irredeemable blight that vampirism is to the world.Â
Itâs just bizarre. Especially considering that Professor Kim never once had you analyze any anti-vampire propaganda throughout the entire semester. In fact, you were never assigned to read anything vampire related at all.Â
If this type of literature is so central to his professional career, it doesn't make sense to you that he wouldnât incorporate it into his class. Especially considering the fact that he was awarding an internship at New Haven to one of the students.Â
You take another long sip of cold tea. Well⌠you could try to come up with something that aligns with the current profile of New Havenâs recently published works. Itâs not like youâve ever written anything related to vampires. Maybe you just need to think of it as a writing exercise, a challenge of sorts. Producing a piece that feels relevant and fresh even if the central topic is a bit out of style.Â
According to the revision schedule Professor Kim gave you, your first draft issue in a week and a half. The same day that youâre set to go to New Haven for the first time and tour the office youâll be interning at once winter break is over. Itâs an ambitious timeline, but he did specify that heâs looking more for a solid concept than a well polished draft. But something in you wants to have more than just a concept. You want his approval, to impress him.Â
So you have a week and a half to come up with a draft that will catch his attention, that will convince him that you were the right choice for this opportunity. Not anyone else in your class. Not Heeseung. You.Â
A concept that will excite New Haven Publishing Houseâs usual reader base, that will maybe actually earn you some commercial success.Â
A story that will prove to your parents that literature was the right choice for you. That your words do matter, that you can make a name for yourself with your writing.Â
Well, you think, suppressing an internal groan, it looks like you have your work cut out for you.Â
âŚ..
Despite your admitted lack of vampiric knowledge, once you have your topic, the words start to flow. Youâre not sure if itâs your best work. Youâre not even sure if itâs good. But it feels a hell of a lot better than staring at a blank page for hours.Â
This afternoon finds you in the corner of your favorite coffee shop. Mostly because they offer half priced lattes on Wednesdays. As you make a dent in yours, the pen in your other hand continues to fly over the pages of your notebook, occasionally stopping to scratch out a word or rewrite a sentence.Â
The bare bones are there. Just like in the handful of stories you perused on New Havenâs website, your plot features a young woman. Itâs a historic setting, mostly because you still canât quite bring yourself to write vampires into the modern day when the reality is so starkly different.Â
And itâs not a vampire story. At least not at first glance. Instead, you weave an enduring metaphor to symbolize a parasitic relationship between two lovers.
The woman in your draft is young, full of life and energy and optimism. And she dreams. Vivid, brilliant dreams that she clings to in order to escape the harshness of her reality as a lower class woman in the countryside.Â
Her husband, however, is a brute. Older than her and with a decidedly less sunny disposition. When he learns that his health is failing, he discovers that he can heal himself temporarily by stealing these dreams from her.Â
So, no. Itâs not overtly about vampires. But it does fall into step with some of the more abstract anti-vampire tropes you came across in your preliminary research.Â
Crossing a dark line through the word you just penned, you sigh.Â
This is the fastest youâve put a story together in ages. Itâs cohesive, and the writing is solid. Your use of metaphor is strong and concise, and the prose feels true to your identity as a writer.Â
But something in you withers a bit with every new word you commit to paper. Itâs not that you hate your topic. If anything, itâs just that you have no stake in it at all. It doesn't feel innovative or exciting or representative of your creativity.Â
No matter how easily the words flow out of you, something about it just feels⌠flat. One dimensional.Â
You need something new. A different angle or an alternative perspective or⌠Or a fresh set of eyes.Â
Struck with a sudden idea, you pull out your phone, plan taking form in your mind. The literature club at your university hosts bimonthly peer review sessions, and you havenât taken advantage of them nearly as much as you should. Theyâre a chance for any writer, literature major or otherwise, to come together and workshop any piece of writing of their choice.Â
Tapping your finger impatiently on the table, you wait for the page to load. The fall semester did end almost a week ago, so it may be a long shot. Youâre not sure if the club typically holds sessions over winter break. But as you pull up the clubâs calendar of events, a small smile tugs at your lips.Â
Luck seems to be on your side this time. Itâs written there in plain, bold font that there will be a session this upcoming Friday evening. That means that if you attend the session and get some solid ideas for revision, youâll have exactly five days to refine your draft before you present it to Professor Kim.Â
The idea of having not only a topic, as the schedule outlined, but an actual complete, well-written draft to show him next Wednesday, turns your small smile into one that overtakes your features.Â
Energized with a new vigor, you reach for your pen again. It doesnât have to be perfect, you remind yourself, even as a turn of phrase makes you cringe. Even as a piece of punctuation feels out of place. It just needs to be written. You just need to have as much content as you can to share on Friday.Â
Besides, youâre sure that a second opinion will help you fine tune this story into something youâre proud to share, something youâre excited to attach your name to.
The afternoon is quick to blur into early evening, and youâre still bent over your favorite corner table. Coffee long drained, youâre full of a new confidence. The thought of proving yourself suddenly doesnât seem like such an unachievable, out of reach task.Â
And when you do finally gather up all of your belongings and make your way back to your apartment for the night, youâre sure that this is the exact boost you needed.Â
That same stroke of self-assuredness carries you all the way through a finished first draft. Itâs rough and messy and littered with loose ends, but itâs tucked away in the bottom of your tote bag with a smile as you haul it to classroom number 105 in the university liberal arts building Friday evening.Â
You pause at the door to the classroom, only for a moment. The inhale you breathe in is deep, full. Nodding to yourself once, you push open the door.Â
You havenât been to one of these workshop sessions since the second semester of your first year, back when you had just switched to a literature major. You remember being wide-eyed and incredibly protective over your work. It was hard to part with it, to let anyone else read over the sentences you were so unsure of. The writing you had little confidence in.Â
But your partner had been kind. Another girl in her first year, she had nothing but gentle feedback to give and reassurance that your writing was worth reading. Honestly, it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience that you would have come back for more sessions if you werenât constantly struggling to find minutes to spare in the day.Â
Youâre hoping that tonight will be just as rewarding as you enter the classroom, tote bag in tow. But as you survey the space around you, your face falls flat, easy going smile dropping from your lips.Â
You werenât expecting a big crowd, considering that it is winter break and most students are deliberately avoiding campus right now, but you were hoping thereâd be more than one other person in attendance.Â
Well, you think, deciding to look on the bright side of things. At least youâre not the only person.Â
The other attendee is sitting in the far corner of the room, occupying a desk near the front of the classroom. At the sound of your entrance, they turn to face you.Â
With that, your small disappointment is quick to snowball into an intense wave of exasperation. Because why is the universe so hellbent on playing games with you?
Your mouth drops open without your permission. âHeeseung?âÂ
Your sudden outburst fills the room and lingers long into the awkward silence that follows. You hadnât meant to say anything, but really, what are the god forsaken odds?
If heâs bothered by your reaction to seeing him, Heeseung doesnât show it. Instead he looks strangely⌠relieved. It makes absolutely no sense for him to feel any sort of relief at the sight of you, but itâs hard to put a more apt descriptor to the way tension drains from his shoulders, crease between his brows softening as he looks at you, scans you from head to toe.Â
A moment of stilted silence passes between the two of you. Another. Your heartbeat feels too loud in your chest.
You exhale, a cross between a scoff and a laugh so humorless it could freeze a flame. Weighing your options, the most tempting by far is to just turn on your heel and exit the way you came.Â
Heeseung seems to read your intention before you can commit to it.Â
Breaking the heaviness in the atmosphere, he acts as if youâve greeted him like an old friend, not as the source of all your recent headaches.Â
âHi,â he nods, so tentatively you almost want to let your jaw drop open in shock. Almost.Â
Because what the fuck does he mean by âHi?â This has to be some kind of mind game, some way to get in your head and ruin this for you.Â
âRight.â Your lips pull into a tight line. You donât bother to return his greeting. âIâm just gonna go, then.â Hiking up your bag on your shoulder, you turn to do just that. Your first draft will just have to be unpolished. Oh, well. Youâre sure Professor Kim will have better feedback for you than Lee Heeseung ever would anyway.Â
Once again, Heeseungâs voice cuts across the classroom. âWait.â Thereâs a command in his voice. Gentle, but firm. Insistent. So pervasive that you find yourself following without really meaning to.Â
Mind made up and dead set on leaving, now youâre just annoyed. What a waste of a Friday evening.
âWhat?â You turn back to him. Youâre not sure if thereâs more venom in your voice or your eyes.Â
And Heeseung, who commands a classroom with quiet grace, with his steady, unwavering presence, suddenly looks so damn unsure. As if tormenting you is uncharted territory. As if heâs never once left you in the cold with flaming cheeks and a thoroughly shattered ego.Â
âIâŚâ he trails off, not quite meeting your furious gaze. âDidnât you come here to get feedback?â
âRight.â You scoff again. âBecause Iâm sure youâd love nothing more than to tear my writing to shreds. Forgive me, but Iâm not interested in being the butt end of your joke tonight.â
âWhat?â If you didnât know any better, the ignorance he feigns would be rather convincing. âThatâs not why Iâm here.â He shakes his head. âI brought something I want reviewed too.âÂ
Your brow arches. He canât be serious. âEven if I did stay,â you counter, âyouâre actually the last person I would want to read my work. Feel free to be offended by that, by the way.â
For a solid minute, Heeseung just looks at you. He wears that same damn deer-in-the-headlights expression he had after you brushed him off when he intercepted you in class the other day. He pauses, weighing words on his tongue. âLook, ____.â The sound of your name on his lips strikes a strange chord in you. Until now, you were certain he didnât even know it. âDid I do something to offendââ
And no. Absolutely not. No way are you rehashing that day in the quad with him now.Â
âYou know what,â you interrupt. You need to go. Now. You need an out. âIâm actually, like, super tired. I think Iâm just gonna head back, andââ
But then itâs his turn to cut off your train of thought. âItâs your piece for Professor Kim, isnât it?â Heeseung takes your silence as confirmation. âPublishing is a big deal. A second set of eyes will only make your work stronger. And if you hate my feedback, itâs not like you have to use any of it.â
You hate it. You despise the way his reasoning matches your internal monologue nearly word for word. The way your thoughts align exactly.Â
You pause, a decision weighing heavy on your mind. He is an excellent writer⌠There would probably be substance to his feedback. Real, actual, good substance that you could use to make your writing bloom into something truly amazing. He could be the exact spark you need to make your story come to life.Â
You purse your lips. âWhatâs in it for you?â
Heeseung smiles, a nearly imperceptible quirk of his lips. He knows heâs won. âLike I said, I brought something Iâve been working on.â Thereâs an intention you canât quite read behind his gaze when he adds, âI want to know what you think of it.â
Hook, line, and sinker.
With a grumble, you take reluctant steps towards where he sits on the opposite side of the classroom. And if you slide down into the seat next to him with a little more force than necessary, well, itâs just because youâve had a long week. No other reason. None at all.Â
âFine,â you relent, reaching to pull your notebook out of your bag. âYou get twenty minutes.â
âThatâs not nearly long enoââ
âThirty,â you concede. âAnd donât push it.â
Sensing your disdain, Heeseung doesnât respond. Instead, he accepts the notebook you reluctantly hand him with an outstretched hand and an open palm. The transfer between the two of you is gentle. You have the distinct sense that heâll treat your work with care, in more than one way.Â
Still, something in your heart seizes at the thought of letting your work be read. Of letting him be the one to read it.Â
In return, he offers you a notebook of his own. Bound in brown, aged leather, itâs certainly much more refined than yours. Of course.Â
He hands it to you still closed. Staring down at the cover, you ask, âWhat page?â It feels intrusive to start flipping through his writing uninvited.Â
âThereâs a bookmark.â Heeseung nods his chin towards the small piece of paper sticking out of the top edge that you missed at first glance.Â
And then the transfer is complete. A piece of your heart is spread open on his desk, and a piece of his soul is in your hands.Â
Ignoring the way your fingers tremble with a slight shake, you delicately open his notebook to the bookmarked page, letting it fall open on the desk in front of you.Â
At first glance, the writing strikes you as odd. The paragraphs are strange lengths, ending at random junctures instead of extending all the way to the margins. And then it hits you. Theyâre not paragraphs. Theyâre stanzas.Â
Poetry. Lee Heeseung writes poetry.Â
You sneak a sidelong glance at him out of your periphery. Heâs already engrossed in the pages of your notebook, pausing occasionally to jot a note down on a scrap piece of paper. His brow is furrowed, and thereâs a tension in his jawline that only makes it sharper.Â
Still, the image of his profile is shrouded in a distinct sort of softness. The kind of effortless beauty that feels like it should be reserved for intimate moments in the dead of night, secrets passed between lovers. Itâs wasted under the fluorescent lights and patchy, beige walls of an underfunded classroom, but you waste another minute staring at him all the same.Â
For a fleeting moment, itâs not hard to imagine those hands, those long, delicate fingers maintaining an even grip on a ballpoint pen to write something as romantic as poetry.Â
Shaking your head, you clear the errant thoughts. Instead, you turn your focus back to the page in front of you and begin with the first poem. Forcing your eyes to focus, you read.Â
As if nothing happened,
She looks at me
With shadowless eyes.
But it is me who has beenÂ
Forgiven and reborn countless times.
You inhale. Exhale. Short and succinct with a distinct twinge of tragedy. That was⌠not what you were expecting. Pushing forward, you move onto the next entry.Â
Even the stars in the universe
Will close their eyes one day.
Underneath their watchful gaze,
All of these moments are precious.
For memory, for regret,
I will carve them
Into the repetition of the moment.
Again, you pause, taking a moment to breathe. Itâs so⌠melancholy, so poignant in its evocation of pain, of regret. While youâve been familiar with Heeseungâs ability to analyze the hell out of a novella, this was not something you thought youâd find in his repertoire. And the more you read on, the more you realize these arenât flukes. This is his identity as a writer, or at least a significant part of it.Â
The world that abandoned us
Slowly turns to ash.Â
But I donât feel the pain.Â
I only feel the cold.
My god. You nearly close the notebook on instinct. Without your permission, your eyes flick ove to the desk next to you. The broad set of shoulders that fill the seat. What has this boy been through? Why is he letting you read this?Â
Heeseung looks up. Not at you, but the movement is enough to startle you out of your staring. Returning your eyes to his notebook, you read the last entry on the page.Â
A shaded castle with no sun
The thick scent of dying roses never fades.Â
In a broken mirror, I see myself.Â
And my reflection whispers, âMonster.â
The breath you release is long. Audible. Youâre overcome with the urge to run your fingers over his words, to feel the indents his pen made as he carved pain into the page. His writing is gorgeous. Itâs beautifully, tragically haunting. Of that much, youâre certain. But you have no idea what to do with that information.Â
His words feel too raw, too terribly intimate. Like something that was never meant for your eyes. You canât understand what on earth possibly possessed him to let â no â to encourage you to read these.Â
You canât fathom any kind of feedback you could offer him. These feel like pieces of his soul, not something to be commodified or commented on in a writing workshop. Discussed in the cold, unfeeling walls of an old classroom.
Despite the discomfort that lingers with each passing stanza, his writing has an almost addictive quality. Over and over, you find yourself rereading each brief poem. Youâre searching for meaning, for clarity, for something hidden between the lines that you missed on your first handful of reads.Â
Thirty minutes pass in a trance, and Heeseung, true to his word, is the one to break the silence when your half hour is up.Â
Mind still reeling, you realize with a sinking feeling that you have absolutely no feedback to give him at all.Â
Instead, you turn to face him. Throwing a meaningful glance at where your notebook still lies open on the desk in front of him. Doing your best to not look too hopeful, you ask, âWell?â
For a moment, Heeseung just looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Tension pulls at his temple, his jaw. Frustration seeps from beneath his skin, and you canât tell where itâs directed.Â
âOh, come on,â you prod when his silence extends even longer. âI know youâre dying to spill the gory details of how grossly incompetent I am and how horrifically amateur my writing is, so donâtââ
Heeseung wastes no fanfare. âThis is awful.â
Your lips flatten. âOr just cut right to the chase.â
Heâs quick to clarify. âBut not for any of the reasons you just listed. I mean, sure, there are some craft issues here, but even those seem like a result of your concept.â
âWhatâs wrong with my concept?â The edge of defensiveness in your voice escapes without your permission.Â
Heeseung just levels you with a look. Returning his gaze to your notebook, he reads from your draft verbatim, â...Stashing away the light from her life. Tucking it into his back pocket like extra change just for the satisfaction of temporary happiness. It was never love that bound him to her, but the promise of a never ending fountain of life. Of wishes and thoughts and hopes and dreams that he could use to sustain himself as long as he subjected himself to the numbing pleasure of existing at her side.âÂ
He raises an eyebrow, turns back to you. âI mean, really, ____? Iâve read some nauseatingly vitriolic vampire pieces in my life, and this just about has all of them beat. Besides, the whole vampire thing just feels so⌠irrelevant. Do people still read this stuff anymore?â
Your first instinct is to defend yourself, your work, even if his thoughts mirror your own. Before you can, Heeseung is pressing on. You donât have the space to get a word in sideways. âI mean, what happened to the writing from that piece you presented back in September? I donât remember all the details, but there was something about watching birds land on water and connecting it to the feeling of belonging but never truly fitting in.â He looks at you again. Thereâs more emotion, more glittering life in his eyes than youâve ever seen from him before. âThat was a fresh take and a well done metaphor.â
Your mind is reeling. Itâs far too much information to take in all at once. But something stands out amongst the rest. Because that almost sounded likeâÂ
âWas that a compliment?â It seems unlikely, but you canât find another way to take his words. âYou paid attention to my presentation?âÂ
You liked it? You donât ask that question out loud, but the needier parts of you crave his answer anyway.
âYeah, of course I did. Peer review was a mandatory component of the course.â Heeseungâs cheekbones remain the same, even, honey-tinted tone, but you swear you see a flash of embarrassment in the way he averts his gaze.Â
âWell, yeah.â Itâs not a justification that holds much weight in your mind. âBut you donât exactly seem like the type to really pay attention to other peopleâs stuff. Especially if you think itâs not worth your time.â
âI just told you your presentation was good, didnât I?â
You arch a brow. âYeah, right after you finished calling my draft horrific.â
Heeseung shakes his head. âI didnât say it was horrificâŚâ
âOh, please. Spare us both the semantics. Thatâs what you meant.â Youâre not sure why your mind always goes back to that day in the quad, but you find yourself still sore from his rejection, his new assertion of your work poking at old wounds. Picking at poorly healed scabs. âAnd itâs not like you were jumping for joy at the chance to review my work back then, either.â
Heeseungâs brow furrows. You can practically see the gears turning in his mind. Youâre not sure if it makes you feel better or worse, the fact that he doesnât seem to remember that day at all.Â
In the end, you decide to spare him the effort of empty recollection. With a sigh, you spill your shame. At least this time around, youâre the only two that will bear witness. âThat one day in class. Back at the beginning of the semester. We had to present our analysis of that one short story. You remember, the one about planting seeds in bad soil.â Heeseung nods, but thereâs no spark of realization. Not yet.Â
Continuing, it only pains you slightly to admit, âYour analysis was brilliant, and I gushed about it in front of the whole class. Laid it on thick with the compliments. And then after class, I stopped you in the quad.â Something flickers over Heeseungâs features. A memory tugging at the back of his mind. âWhen I asked if you wanted to review each otherâs pieces for the next assignment, you completely brushed me off.â
Brow still pulled downwards, Heeseung is thinking back to that day, too. But it doesn't seem to hold the same awful, leaden weight in his mind. âI didnât brush you off,â he argues. âI think I said I was busy.â
It takes a lot of willpower not to let your jaw drop open. âThatâs brushing someone off!â Your voice is too loud for the near empty classroom, for your close proximity. âLike literally the textbook definition. Everyone knows that âIâm busyâ is code for âleave me the hell alone.ââ
Almost imperceptibly, Heeseungâs features soften as he watches yours strain. The fluorescent light bulbs that fill the room suddenly donât seem quite as harsh when he says, âWell, that's not what I meant. I was busy.â
Itâs hardly a satisfying answer. But you suppose it makes little difference. If he wants to stick to his story, youâll continue to feign indifference. âWhatever. Itâs not like it matters now anyway.â
And then your mind is back on his poems. His beautiful, tragic, gorgeously phrased stanzas scribbled in his handwriting. Fragments of vulnerability that he handed to you without hesitation.Â
Itâs like comparing apples to oranges in a way, but there is no doubt in your mind that between the two of you, the writing he brought tonight is better. Better than your story, better than most things youâve ever written, probably. The imagery is evocative, striking in a way youâve never quite been able to achieve no matter how many seminars and workshops and lectures you attend.Â
Not for the first time, your brain dangles a dangerous thought in a place where you canât avoid it. What if Professor Kim chose wrong? What if Heeseung hadnât been late to class that day? Would you be sitting here with a mediocre draft and a raging inferiority complex?
Youâll never know, not really, but you find yourself asking anyway, âWhy were you late to class that day?â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, you wish you could take them back. Itâs not like his answer will change anything. And itâs invasive. Far too personal to ask someone you barely know. That up until thirty minutes ago, you actively avoided.Â
But maybe the universe is on your side for once. Maybe you got ridiculously lucky and he didnât hear you, despite the fact that itâs dead silent in this classroom. Maybeâ
âWhat?��
Or not.
Well, youâre committed now. âThe last day of class. When the winner for the publishing opportunity was announced,â you clarify. âYou were late. Honestly,â you add with a wry smile, âyouâd probably be the one writing overdramatic vampire slander right now if you hadnât been.â
Itâs a self-deprecating joke. It might land poorly, but youâre hoping it will lighten the atmosphere.Â
A dark shadow crosses Heeseungâs features. âTrust me, ___. You winning had nothing to do with me being late that day.â
If he thinks flattery will get him anywhere, heâs wrong. You can feel your frustrations bubbling in your throat, clawing at your mind. You won. You beat him. So why doesnât it feel like it? Why doesnât it feel like anything you do is ever good enough?
âCâmon, Heeseung.â He doesnât deserve your anger. At least, not now. But he gets it anyway. Insecurities and inferiority and frustration all wrapped in rage. âYou were practically a shoe-in, and everyone knows it.â
Heâs just as insistent. Leaning towards you slightly, he looks anything but aloof now. âNo I wasnât. Professor Kim chose you to intern with him. He read both of our submissions all semester and chose you to publish with his firm. I told you, your writing is good. Really good.â Glancing down at your notebook, he adds, âEven if this one is a bit⌠uninspired.â
A compliment and a slight. His version of the truth, wrapped up in a bow and delivered right to your waiting ears. You donât know whether to be furious or overjoyed. Maybe it would be best to feel absolutely nothing at all. It scares you, just how much weight his opinion holds.Â
But approval from him has its way of feeling like a long sought victory, and now the air feels fraught with something delicate, fragile. Precarious, even.Â
Itâs early evening in a threadbare classroom. The most neutral territory imaginable. But itâs the two of you, alone, secluded. And suddenly, that frightens you.Â
âRight.â You wonât tell him âthank youâ for the compliment or âgo fuck yourselfâ for the criticism. Both options feel like you would be revealing too much.Â
Instead, you take a glance at the clock. Itâs not late, but itâs an excuse. âI should probably get going.â
Heeseung exhales. Leans back in his seat. âOf course,â he concedes easily, reaching to hand you your notebook.
You do the same with his, almost sad to watch his poetry pass from your hands to his. Itâs odd, the way his words already feel like something youâll miss.Â
You realize then that he hasnât asked you for your opinion on his work. For your advice on how to make it better. In all honesty, youâre relieved. You havenât the slightest idea what you would say.Â
So instead, you busy yourself with repacking your tote bag. In your haste, you knock your pen off of your desk. The sound it makes as it strikes the thinning carpet canât be loud, but it feels thunderous in your ears.Â
As you reach to pick it up, Heeseung does the same. Thereâs a moment, fleeting but unmistakable, when the skin of his hand brushes against yours.Â
Instantly, Heeseung recoils as if youâve burned him. His hand is back in his own space at a speed so fast you nearly miss it.Â
It was an accident, a tiny blip with no real consequences, but the way heâs looking at you with those damn eyes makes you feel like you should be apologizing.Â
âSorry.â The severity of his reaction stings like rejection. Itâs not like heâs exactly your favorite person either, but at least you have the common decency to not look repulsed at the thought of touching him. At the accidental brushing of your hands.Â
Heeseung frowns. Shakes his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts. âNo, IâŚâ he trails off, letting his words hang in the air for a moment. âIâm sorry,â he concludes, but it feels disingenuous. And he doesnât bother to elaborate. Looking over your shoulder, he reads the clock on the wall. âItâs getting kind of late. Where are you parked? I can walk you to your car.â
His hands are busy putting his notebook back in his back. Itâs a considerate offer, but coming on the tail end of everything else, it doesnât hold much weight with you. His words donât match his actions, and you decide youâd be a fool to take them at face value.Â
âDonât bother. Iâm walking home, not driving.â
Heeseung freezes, hand still inside his bag. Heâs not looking at you, but you feel the weight of his attention all the same. âDo you need someone to walk with you?â
The way he phrases the question makes you feel like a burden. Heâs asking if you need someone to walk with you, not offering because he wants to. A subtle difference maybe, but the last thing you want is to feel like you owe him any favors.Â
âNo, Iâll be fine.â
âAre you sure?â He does look at you now, concern painted across his features. âItâs getting dark earlier these days, andââ
His words are wasted on you. Youâre already halfway to the door. âIâm sure.â But before you leave, you decide one more hit to your pride canât worsen the damage thatâs already been done. At least this time, it will be by your doing. Standing under the doorframe, you turn back to him. âThank you for your feedback. It was good to hear an honest opinion.â
Your words sink into the air. Linger for a moment.Â
Heeseung nods. Something in his jaw tightens. âYou know, if you do decide to change topics, Iâd be happy to read whatever you write.â
It almost sounds like another compliment. Or maybe another insult. Either way, youâre sure that even if you figure it out, youâll still have no idea what to do with it. You nod, only once, and then your back is turned again before you can linger too long on any of it.Â
But his words, the sweet ones this time, replay in your mind the entire walk home.Â
Maybe if you werenât so distracted by the ghosts of compliments, youâd have noticed the pair of quiet, even footsteps that trailed after you in the distance. That only retreated once the front door to your apartment was pulled shut and locked tight behind you.Â
Then again, maybe not. Heeseung has always had a knack for going undetected.Â
âŚ..
You wake up the next morning with Heeseungâs words replaying in your mind.Â
Awful. Irrelevant. And of course your favorite, ânauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece.â
In the faded glow of morning light, you groan out loud to your empty bedroom. The worst part of it all is that heâs not even wrong. But itâs Saturday morning, and your first draft is due on Wednesday. The thought of starting a new story from scratch and writing it to completion within that time frame is enough to make you want to curl into a ball and screw your eyes shut until you can pretend the world outside your bedroom is nothing but a figment of your imagination.Â
So no, you donât think you can start over entirely. But maybe, just maybe, you can rework things. Tweak the narrative to feel less cliche, less outdated. More true to you.Â
Part of you wants to abandon the vampire concept entirely, convinced itâs whatâs holding you down. The other part is hesitant to do so based on New Havenâs list of recently published works.Â
And while Heeseungâs criticism was the confirmation you needed that your story needs reworking, itâs not like he gave you any ideas as to what you should change. What direction you should take.
Nauseatingly vitriolic vampire piece. That seemed to be Heeseungâs biggest problem with your draft. Not that it alluded to vampirism. No, you think he disliked that it was a tired and rehashed propaganda piece on the inherent evilness of vampires.Â
Everyone knows that vampires were monsters. Writing about it, no matter how many metaphors and symbolic phrases you wrap it up in, just isnât interesting.Â
Thatâs the route youâll take, then, you decide. You donât have to invent a new concept out of thin air. You just need to find a way to bring something new to the table. Something worth reading. Climbing out of bed, you switch your pajamas for clothes more acceptable in public.Â
And then you make your way to the university library.Â
Just as you suspected, itâs essentially empty. Between long rows of meticulously shelved books, vacant study rooms, and community computers, the only other person you see is the librarian that greets you as you arrive. Even her eyebrows raise in mild shock to see someone else during the break, and on a weekend at that.
Heading to the second floor, the first section you peruse through is historical records. But between old newspapers, reports, and journals, the content itself is quite cut and dry. Detached descriptions of vampire attacks that only contain details of the date, time, and death toll arenât exactly riveting. And you donât think theyâll do much for your feeble draft.Â
Before long, you move away from the nonfiction section. Navigating to supernatural fiction on the third floor, you start browsing titles. Vampire stories make up a rather small portion of the texts, and from what you can tell, the vast majority align with what you found on New Havenâs website.Â
From Demons of the Dark to Left in Cold Blood, you doubt that most of what you find will offer any kind of new perspective. But on your third, slightly desperate scouring of the shelf, you make a discovery.Â
Itâs a small, nondescript book. The muted tones and faded lettering on the spine go easily undetected amongst the much flashier copies of anti-vampire propaganda itâs nestled between.Â
Pulling the book out from the shelf with a delicate touch, you flip the cover face-up in your hand.Â
Sacred Monsters: A Collection of Essays on the Origins of Immortality
It piques your interest. At the very least, it seems different from all the other novels.Â
Book in hand, you make your way to a nearby desk. Once youâre settled in, you pull out your notebook, opening to a new page with the intention of taking notes.Â
The book you lay on the desk next to your notebook seems like itâs lived a long life, the old scent of dust and aged paper and time all contained within its pages. Flipping open the front cover, you look for an author or publication date. But thereâs nothing there, not even a title page or a table of contents.Â
Glossing over the slight oddity, you decide the beginning is as good a place as any to start.Â
The Taste of Blood, is the title at the top of the page.Â
And the first sentence begins:
It is neither sweet nor particularly savory. There is no distinct aroma, no compelling flavor profile, nothing that appeals to the eye or excites the taste buds. The only merit is the fact that it is necessary. For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die.Â
Frowning, you flip back to the cover, as if that will provide any clarity for the strange passage you just read. But nothing is different. Nothing new stands out. Just the same, faded title. No author or indication of any kind of publication date.Â
Intrigued, you turn back and resume where you left off.Â
Some are said to enjoy the act. The purity of release, of giving in to the instincts that can be convinced into domesticity but never fully silenced. I have never found such relief. The ghost of my humanity has always been stronger than the voice of the monster, even as he screams with unbounded ferocity.Â
Without it, I feel incomplete. With it, I feel irredeemable. Even now, I dodge the truth, omit the profane. I have seen many moons, enjoyed their silver glow. I have stolen the very same pleasure from countless others. And yet, I struggle to call it by name. I cannot reconcile the battles waged in my bones, the war fought in my mind.Â
There is no winner in either. All that remains in the taste of it. Lingering on my breath. Haunting my waking dreams. That which I cannot name.Â
The taste of blood.Â
In my fervor, it soothes like honey. In my regret, it turns to ash.Â
And still, nothing changes. And still, nothing remains the same.
-- Anonymous
Well, if you were looking for something different, you found it. Because what the absolute fuck are you reading? If you didnât know any better, youâd think it were written from the perspective of a vampire.Â
Then again, shelved in the fiction section, you suppose itâs plausible. Actual vampires may have housed little room in their consciousness for anything outside of bloodlust, but it is an interesting idea to think of vampires as conflicted. Haunted by the brutality of their innate instincts.Â
Youâre not exactly sure how or if this will be able to influence your own story for the better, but something about it makes you want to keep reading.Â
Alone, tucked amongst the dusty shelves of a neglected section of the library, you lose yourself between the pages of the mysterious book.Â
As the title indicated, itâs a collection of essays. Most are quite short, around the same length as the first one you read. And none are claimed by an author. All are signed off with the same boldface type that spells Anonymous. There are subtle differences in the writing though, stylistic choices that make you think that more than one person wrote these essays.Â
Despite that, theyâre all woven together by a common thread. The first essay, as you discover, was not a fluke. Every single one is written in first person from the perspective of a vampire.Â
The writing is compelling, humorous in places and deeply upsetting in others. It seems odd to you, just how much humanity is captured within the pages, within each turn of phrase.Â
You feel inclined to root for the narrator in some stories and abjectly horrified by them in others. But never once does the writing make you think that vampires are incapable of self-actualization, of reflection, of morality.Â
In all honesty, aside from Heeseungâs poems, itâs the most interesting thing youâve read in ages. So much so that by the time you realize youâve finished the last essay, the winter sun is teeming dangerously close to the horizon, and the library is nearing its closing hours.Â
The notebook page you intended to use for notes, to jot down points of inspiration, is still woefully blank. But as you make your way back to the front of the library, the small, strange book comes along with you.Â
Stopping at the front desk to formally check it out, the librarian frowns when she enters the number from the spine into the system. She clicks around on her computer for a moment longer before handing the book back to you.Â
âIâm sorry, but the book isnât coming up in our system for some reason. Would you mind writing down your student ID number for me? Iâll have to enter the information manually.â
You oblige her request, tucking the book into your bag before you leave.Â
Itâs chilly outside, the cold clutches of winter gaining a full grasp on the crisp, frigid air. After a long day in a stuffy library, the freezing air is almost soothing. Tucking your hands into your pockets, you turn towards the direction that will take you home.Â
Youâve barely taken five steps when a voice calls your name from behind. Pausing, you turn to find the source of the sound.Â
âHeeseung?â But thereâs no mistaking it. That is most definitely Lee Heeseung, currently jogging towards you on the otherwise empty sidewalk in front of the university library.Â
He catches up to you easily, no sign of perspiration or even a hint of breathlessness when he asks, âWhat are you doing walking alone at night?â As if youâre the strange one in this situation.
You give him a once over. The loose jeans and dark winter coat he wears are nothing special, but he wears them well regardless. You suppress the urge to sigh. âI could ask you the same.â
âFair enough.â His tone is too light, too casual. Like heâs forcing it. Like heâs hiding something. âAre you headed home? Iâll walk you there.â
And if you werenât suspicious before, you sure as hell are now. Why on earth would he want to walk you home? âIâm fine, thanks.â You turn away from him, heading in the direction of your apartment and hoping heâll take the hint.Â
Your wish goes ungranted. He matches your pace easily, even as you try to quicken it. âItâs after dark, ___. And there are a lot ofâŚâ He trails off, searching for the right word. âstrange people out at night these days. Iâm not letting you walk home alone.â
Lips tight, you donât bother looking at him. The idea of Heeseung letting you do anything makes you want to throw things. âIâll be fine.â
But heâs persistent. Heâs all smiles and a strange amount of desperate when he says, âEither you let me walk you back or Iâll just follow you at a weird distance, which will be far more uncomfortable for both of us.â
That makes you stop in your tracks. And now you do turn to look at him. âWell, when you put it that wayâŚâ
Heeseung nods, âExactly. Soââ
You arch an unimpressed brow, crossing your arms over your chest. âIt sounds like youâre the strange person at night I need to stay away from.â
Heeseung sighs, matches your eye. A strand of hair falls into his eyes, and he pushes it away with long fingers. âAre you gonna start walking or are we gonna stand here and argue a little longer?â
âYou donât even know where I live.â
âWhat a great night to find out.â
You stare at him a moment longer, lips tight. You donât want to be the one to give in, to hand him any kind of victory, no matter how small.Â
But it is getting late. The walk from campus to your apartment is never one thatâs made you uneasy, but it never hurts to have someone at your side. Besides, you think he was serious about following you. Heâs made it clear that heâll be tagging along one way or another.Â
âFine,â you huff, arms still crossed over your chest. âBut only because the streetlight a few blocks away is out.â
Heeseung inclines his head, a minute acknowledgement. Thereâs a hint of movement at the corner of his lips. âNaturally.â
You resume walking, and he falls into your pace with a practiced ease, hands in his pocket, eyes on the stars. Itâs a cloudless evening. The sky above you feels vast, immense as the last rays of daylight lie to rest on the distant horizon.Â
With a slight shiver, you pull your jacket tighter around your body. Heeseung notices the movement. Parts his lips as if he wants to say something. Changes his mind. Closes them.Â
Youâve just reached the far edge of campus when he breaks the steady silence.Â
âHowâs your draft coming?â
âItâsâŚâ You trail off, not sure how well honesty will serve you here. It feels vulnerable, like a blatant weakness to admit that youâve got nothing. But something about cold air and the vast expanse of night has you wanting to tell the truth. âNot great.â
Heeseung lets your response settle. Turns it over in his mind a few times. Youâve noticed that about him. Heâs careful with his responses. Weighs his words before breathing them to life. âStill looking for inspiration?â
âI donât know if itâs inspiration I need.â Itâs easier to talk to him like this, when your eyes have something to focus on, when your body has the constant repetition of steps to occupy part of your mind. Without little distractions like these, Heeseung has a way of becoming all consuming. âI feel like I backed myself into a corner with the vampire concept. Iâm not sure if there's really anything there to explore that wonât feel outdated and irrelevant.âÂ
âMm,â Heeseung muses. Itâs noncommittal, neither an agreement nor an argument. âMaybe. You said it yourself; vampires are nothing but bloodlust. Riled completely by instinct. Nothing left of their humanity.â
Frowning, your footsteps almost falter. âI didnât say that.â
âForgive me.â If thereâs a tinge of bitterness in his tone, you suppose it must be because of the cold. The fact that heâs wasting his Saturday night walking you home. âHeavily implied it.â
âHonestly, the only reason I even wrote that story was because there were a lot of similar ones on New Havenâs list of recently published works.â Your reasoning feels almost stupid when you admit it aloud like this. Youâve always prided yourself on your originality, your commitment to staying true to yourself as a writer. But when push comes to shove, you let your desire to impress your professor get in the way of that. âI wanted something that would align with their usual publications.âÂ
Youâve admitted a weakness, a poorly made choice. Youâre expecting ire, more of that haughty contempt. But Heeseungâs mind is going in an entirely different direction.
Heâs not questioning your abilities, not even alluding to them at all when he asks, âWhat do you think of vampires, then?â
His question catches you off guard. Why on earth would he care about that? âWhatâs it to you?â
âMy bad. We can just walk in awkward silence if you prefer.â
It takes a ridiculous amount of your energy to swallow the laugh that bubbles in your throat. Since when did Heeseung crack jokes? Since when did you have to fight the urge to giggle at them like a schoolgirl with a crush? You suddenly find yourself grateful for the cover of night, the way shadows make the heat on your cheeks undetectable.Â
But his question still lingers. Ruminating on it, your mind flickers to the small, odd book currently sitting at the bottom of your bag.Â
Sacred Monsters.Â
It feels like a strange combination of words, two concepts that shouldnât fit together.Â
âI think itâs more complicated than that,â you breathe. You donât know if it could possibly be true, the idea that creatures of the night have a high level of consciousness, the ability to moralize, to feel conflicted. But it certainly makes for a more interesting story.Â
âI mean, vampires had to have some level of base cognition, right?â Youâll never know for sure, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. âThey were hunted to near extinction, but they put up a good fight. They hid. They fled. They tried blending in as humans. Some resorted to drinking animal blood. I guess thereâs no way of knowing, but that doesnât feel like pure biology or an evolutionary response alone. It feels like⌠something a human would do.â
âWouldnât that be worse?â Heeseungâs voice is low. If the faint hum of faraway traffic were any louder, you might not hear him at all. âFor them to know what it means to be alive and still make the choice to take that away from someone else? To exist as a parasite.â
âIt would certainly be tragic.â The words of the first essay come back to you.Â
For even those blessed with immortality know what it means to survive. And even those cursed to live forever know what it means to die.
âItâs a fatal flaw, a cruel design. They need blood to survive. The very thing that their bodies used to create on their own. Itâs parasitic, yes, but that doesnât make it animal instinct. I canât imagine the horror of having to experience that with the burden of human consciousness.âÂ
You feel the weight of Heeseungâs gaze on the side of your face. âItâs still evil, is it not?â
His words feel heavy, weighted under moonlight. Though you canât imagine why, you have the distinct sense that your answer is important to him.Â
âLike I said, I think itâs more complicated than that. Taking someoneâs life is evil, yes, but that was never unique to vampires. Is a vampire that chooses animal blood still evil just because theyâre a vampire? Is a human that chooses to kill another absolved of their crime just by virtue of being human?â
Your words settle into the space between you.Â
âThat,â Heeseung finally breathes, âwould make a much better story than the one I read last night.â
This time, you do laugh, a light airy thing. It feels easy, lighthearted as some of the tension drains from the atmosphere.
âUnfortunately, Iâm not so sure Professor Kim would agree. Based on everything New Haven publishes, he seems to have some weird anti-vampire vendetta.â
As you round the corner, your apartment comes into view. Nodding toward the staircase that leads to your front door, you tell him, âThis is me, by the way.â
Heeseung glances at the stairs, then back at you. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets. âWhen is your draft due?â
âUgh, donât remind me,â you groan. âWednesday.â
âMm,â he winces, an offer of understanding. âWhat time?â
âIâm supposed to be at New Haven by three, soââ
âWhat?â Heeseung cuts you off, expression suddenly tense, voice suddenly sharp. âYouâre going to the publishing office?â
âYeah.â You nod slowly, unsure why that would possibly warrant such a strong reaction. âIâm dropping off my first draft and getting a tour. The internship starts right when spring semester does, so he told me I could come in person to familiarize myself with the space first.â
âRight.â Heeseung nods. The tension in his jaw doesnât relax.
Itâs all so strange. He always seems to be speaking in riddles, dealing with invisible problems you canât detect.Â
Youâre tired and confused, and the moon that hangs above you doesnât feel like a remedy for either of those things. In fact, it might be making things worse.Â
Because despite the way you feel like youâll never quite understand him, bathed in the shimmering glow of moonlight, Heeseung looksâŚÂ
He looks like all the things youâve been trying to avoid calling him for the duration of the semester. Ethereal. Beautiful. Maybe even kind, at least when he wants to be.Â
After all, youâre standing at the base of your staircase with company, and it wasnât due to any insistence on your end.Â
The silence lingers. A string somewhere is pulled taught.Â
Youâre standing still, and youâre still a little breathless when you tell him, âI should go.â You donât want to. Youâre not sure why.Â
Again, Heeseung only nods.Â
The movement sends shadows dancing over his features. The bridge of his nose. The plane of his cheek. The line of his jaw. Things youâve never let yourself linger on. Things youâre having a hard time looking away from now.Â
 But heâs seen you home safe and sound, and even nights under the stars have their inevitable end.Â
It occurs to you then that you have no idea how he plans to get home, or even how far away he lives.Â
After he walked you home,itâs the least you could do to offer, âDo you live far? I could help you pay for a cab or something ifââ
Heeseung shakes his head. He smiles, but it doesnât quite reach his eyes. âIt wonât take me long. Besides, I like to walk at night.â
âOkay.â It feels strange, trading these bits of kindness. Youâre craving some normalcy, something unwavering. So with a final wave and a small goodnight, you climb the stairs to your door.Â
You couldnât say for sure if his eyes follow you on the way up. You feel the heat of them, the weight of a steady gaze on your spine. But itâs a fickle sensation and youâve been wrong before. And you canât quite bring yourself to turn around and look.Â
The door closes behind you. Surrounded by the stillness of an empty apartment, you release a long held exhale. It drains out of you audibly. You hadnât even realized you were holding your breath.Â
âŚ..
Dawn breaks Wednesday morning and carries with it a certain kind of dread.Â
Despite your efforts, and there have been many, your draft remains far too close to its original state for your satisfaction. No matter how many times you pour over Sacred Monsters, you can never quite seem to find a way to make your submission more interesting while also staying true to New Havenâs general themes.Â
If anything, the book has been a distraction. Long hours that you could have spent editing or revising or rewriting were instead dedicated to detailed web searches with a variety of keywords and spellings that never seemed to bear any fruit.Â
It doesnât matter which search engine you use. It doesnât matter which database you browse. Other than the copy sitting on your desk, Sacred Monsters doesnât seem to exist.Â
But the annoying, wonderful, awful thing about time is that it passes. Time doesnât care that you havenât found it in yourself to produce a draft youâre proud of. Time doesnât relent just because you always feel like itâs slipping through your fingers.Â
And Wednesday morning turns to Wednesday afternoon with the same steady predictability as always.Â
Youâd like to think that you know the area around your university quite well, but New Havenâs main office is in an entirely different part of the city. Youâll have to leave now if you want to catch the bus with a little cushion of time to spare. The last thing you want to do is be late to your first day. Especially since the draft tucked neatly into your bag isnât one you can hand over with confidence.Â
To your relief, the bus is relatively empty. You tuck yourself into a seat and thank your lucky stars that you missed the afternoon rush.Â
Popping your headphones in, youâre searching for something to fill the time. Thereâs the draft sitting in your bag, of course, but the last thing you want to do is spend the next thirty minutes agonizing over it. For now, it will just have to be the mess of mediocrity that it is.Â
Instead, you reach for your phone. Maybe some mindless scrolling will be what you need to put your nerves at ease.Â
But when the app loads, the first post you see doesnât have you giggling or rolling your eyes or scrolling on without a thought at all. Instead, your spine straightens, shoulders suddenly tense.Â
Because the words youâre reading are not something you ever expected to see in your lifetime.Â
Three dead in suspected vampire attack, the latest headline from your local news reporting channel reads.Â
Clicking on the article, the details are hazy, but that does little to lessen the grip of fear that makes a sudden grab at your throat. Fragments of sentences capture your attention as you scan the page.Â
Three bodies found near the riverâŚ
Bite marks on their necksâŚ
No trace of recent animal activity in the areaâŚ
Eyes widening with every new piece of information, fear claws at your throat.Â
Bodies completely drained of blood.
Two hundred years. Two hundred years of the belief that vampires have all but been eradicated. Shattered in one fell swoop.Â
And in your city, of all places. At the river. Somewhere youâve been. Somewhere you wouldnât think twice about going. Itâs not particularly close to your apartment or university, but itâs not exactly far enough away for comfort.
You shudder, suddenly grateful that Heeseung was there to walk you home last night. Not that he would be able to do much if you did stumble across the path of a vampire, butââ
Oh god. Oh god.Â
Heeseung.Â
You have no idea if he made it home safe after parting ways with you and you have no way of checking. He hadnât made any indication as to where he lived before saying goodnight. For all you know, he could have been heading in the direction of the river. He could have been at the river. Right when the attacks occurred.Â
Doubling down on your phone, you scour the article for any information you can find on the victims. Objectively, itâs probably a good thing that theyâre described only vaguely. Probably an intentional choice to protect the privacy of grieving friends and families.Â
But âthree victims, two men and one woman, all in their early twentiesâ does very, very little to assuage your terror. In fact, it only heightens it.Â
Blood pounding in your ears and dread pooling in your stomach, thirty minutes passes in the blink of an eye, you nearly miss your stop. But as you get off of the bus, youâre spiraling. Should you even be here? It feels wrong, leaving such a terrifying loose end untied.Â
But then you think it through a little further. Even if you got back on the bus, rode it all the way to the stop by your apartment, you have no idea where youâd go from there. You may have shared insults and confidence and a moment under the moonlight with Heeseung, but you donât know anything about him. Where he lives, where to reach him, where he could possibly be right now.Â
But Professor Kim might. Youâre sure that student information is strictly confidential, but if you explain the situation to him, he might be understanding, might just be willing to bend the rules a bit for you.Â
So with a heaviness in your heart and fire in your footsteps, you double check the address of New Havenâs office and start walking away from the bus stop. Your surroundings are not a primary area of your focus, but it does strike you as odd how deserted the whole area seems.Â
Other than a few residential looking buildings, the street you walk is mostly empty lots. Abandoned houses. Not the kind of place you would consider ideal for any business.Â
Despite the cold morning sunshine, the afternoon has brought a cover of clouds. Squinting towards the distance, you wonder if you should have brought your umbrella, just in case. It almost looks as if itâs going to rain.Â
When you do finally find the building, you have to stop to double check the address. Not only is there no signage, but New Havenâs supposed headquarters looks just as run down as all of the other buildings in the area.Â
Frowning, you reread your email. The address does match the faded numbers next to the front door, and Professor Kim seems too meticulous to make a mistake like an incorrect address. Then again, he also seems too well off to run his publishing company out of a decrepit building far away from any of the cityâs major business centers.Â
But you wonât bother worrying about it now. Even your dreary first draft feels like an afterthought at this point. Who cares if the buildingâs not what you expected, if the location isnât ideal? Right now, you need to focus on finding Heeseung, on making sure heâs okay.Â
Because the alternativeâŚ
No, you refuse to let yourself spiral there either. But the pressure of grief borrowed from the future is already pressing firmly against the backs of your eyelids, blurring your surroundings.Â
As you approach the front door, you notice a small, faded placard.Â
New Haven. Well, at least that confirms that youâre in the right spot. Even if it is a bit odd that they left off Publishing.Â
Standing at the door, you hesitate. Should you knock? Just walk in? You take a sidelong glance at the window, scanning for any sign of movement. But thereâs nothing there. In fact, it looks as if the lights are off.Â
Dark, quiet, desolate. Strange, yes, but not something youâll waste time ruminating on now.Â
You knock once. Twice. The sound echoes; the only response is the whistling of the wind.
Deep in the pit of your stomach, a sense of unease begins to build. It feels off, like something is wrong. Senses on high alert, you force the feeling aside. You need a way to find Heeseung, to make sure heâs okay. Besides, the lingering unease is probably just the anxiety of not knowing if heâs safe.Â
Steeling your resolve, you reach for the door handle, twisting it tentatively. It opens slowly, the hinges groaning in protest. As if the building itself doesnât want you there. Stepping inside does little to shake the feeling. Dark and devoid of any decoration, the interior is nearly as gloomy as the sunless sky outside.Â
And even the layout of the building is strange. The front door opens to a long, dark hallway with no lights on. Itâs eerily quiet. Too quiet. Too empty. You werenât expecting a welcoming party by any means, but itâs hard to imagine anyone, much less Professor Kim, even being here.Â
âHello?â You call, clutching your bag a little closer to your body, suppressing the shudder that licks at the base of your spine. âProfessor Kim?â You wait a moment, but sustained silence is the only response.Â
Forcing your footsteps forward, you tread tentatively down the hallway. After all, you didnât come this far just to turn around. Especially now that Professor Kim might be your only way of finding Heeseung.Â
Taking slow steps down the dark hallway, you pass two doors, both of them pulled shut. The end of the hall opens into a larger room, still empty of any furnishings. It certainly doesnât look like a publishing house. It doesn't look like much at all. At the very least, thereâs a bit more visibility here, faint traces of faded daylight streaming in through the half drawn blinds on the other side of the room.Â
Turning to your left, you see another door. This one is also pulled shut, but thereâs a name placard on the front. Drawing closer, you read your professorâs name. It still doesn't feel right. Ducking down slightly, you check the gap between the bottom of the door and the hardwood floor for any sign of light, of movement. But itâs just as dark, just as quiet as the rest of the strange building.Â
As you stand back up to your full height, you raise a hand to knock. Just before your knuckles make contact with the door, you see it. An odd array of crimson stains near the handle. Peering closer, your brow furrows in a combination of disgust and confusion.Â
If you didnât know any better, youâd almost think it looked like blood.Â
But that doesnât make any sense. None of this does. You wonât pretend to know Professor Kim, but heâs never shown up to a lecture with so much as a hair out of place. Why on earth would he run his publishing company out of a building thatâs nearly falling apart? Why would there be strange, suspicious looking stains on the door to his office? Why would it be empty at the time he asked you to come present your draft and tour your future internship location?
You have no idea what to do. Opening the door to his office and letting yourself in would feel like an inappropriate invasion of privacy, but youâre at a loss. This entire thing is so strange.Â
Before you can decide how to proceed, you hear something. A faint noise, barely there, but distinct from the wind that still whistles outside. Itâs disjointed, arrhythmic like the sound of hushed voices. Overlapping. Arguing, maybe.Â
Inclining your head, your brow creases further. It sounds like itâs coming from your professorâs office, but how could it be? The noises are too muffled, too distant to be coming from right in front of you.Â
You lean closer. Deciding youâre past the point of maintaining decorum, you press your ear to the door, careful to avoid any of the suspicious looking stains.Â
For a moment, you hear nothing. Half convinced the voices were nothing but a figment of your overactive imagination, you almost pull away.Â
But then you hear them again. Still muffled, still indecipherable, but undoubtedly louder than before. Which means they must be coming from behind the door. The voices pause, suspend you in silence once again.Â
And then you hear another noise, different this time. Less like a voice and more like movement. Scuffling, maybe. Feet dragging against the floor. Itâs punctuated by a strange gurgling noise. Something wet and thick and throaty. The kind of sound that makes you wince in a subconscious reaction.Â
And then a sudden thump has your bones jolting beneath your skin, everything muscle in your body tensing as you suppress an uninvited gasp. Because that didnât sound far away. It was loud, too loud to be anywhere but right on the other side of the door.Â
Mild unease is quick to transform into sheer panic as you stagger backwards on shaky footsteps. You need to leave. You need to leave now.Â
Youâll find another way to get ahold of Heeseung, to make sure heâs okay. And maybe thereâs a rational explanation for all of this. Maybe this is an old New Haven office and Professor Kim forgot to send you the new address. Maybe thereâs an email in your inbox now, and heâs apologizing for the oversight and rescheduling your draft meeting. Maybe heâsâ
The sound of the front door you walked in through minutes ago slamming shut kills the train of thought. This time, you canât bite down the noise that crawls up your throat.Â
Itâs stupid, from a logical perspective. A fatal flaw of human nature that your first instinct is to scream. To alert whatever danger surely lurks nearby of your exact location, the precise depth of your fear.Â
But the terror that leaves your lips is muffled. It comes from behind, the palm that covers your mouth. The outline of a body that presses into your back, forces you into submission with a hand around your wrist. Â
You thrash against the ironclad grip to no avail. Dig your heels into the ground but find little purchase in the hardwood floor as youâre dragged backwards, every nerve in your body singing with terror as youâre forced into a dark room. Even with your elbows flailing and head jerking, the grip on you remains steady, firm.Â
In the end, itâs a bite that frees you. The hand that covers your mouth drops away as soon as you sink your teeth into the flesh of your captorâs fingers. Thereâs a muffled grunt of pain in your ear as you spin on your heel.Â
Again, itâs stupid. You should be running, sprinting in the opposite direction, but everything in you is begging to know. To gain some sense of control over the situation. Eyes still adjusting to the dark and blinded by fear, you turn to findâ
âHeeseung?â Your mind is spinning a million miles a minute. There are too many thoughts, too many emotions to keep up with. Relief. Fear. Confusion.
Relief, because heâs okay and heâs here, butâ
âWhat are you doing?â You have a million questions that demand answers. âWhy are you here? Why did you grab me like thââ
âAre you okay?â Heeseung takes a step closer to you, reaches his hands out as if to grab you again. Thinking better of it, he lets them fall back to his side with a slight shake of his head. Thereâs terror in his eyes too when he clarifies, âYouâre not hurt?â
âNo, IâŚâ What the hell is going on? âIâm fine, butââ
A flash of relief makes itself apparent on Heeseungâs features before theyâre morphing again, regaining all the urgency, the fear that was there before. Heâs serious, gravely so when he tells you, âWe have to get out of here.â
âOkay,â you stumble forward as he reaches for your wrist again, intent on tugging you behind him. âBut I donât understand. Whatâsââ
âIâll explain everything later.â Heâs frantic, you realize. Desperate. And so terribly afraid. Emotions youâve never seen him wear. Not in the cool, calm mask of indifference he had in class. Not in the faint flickers of vulnerability from stolen moments under moonlight. This is different. This is so much worse. âBut we have to go. Now.â
With that much command in his voice, that much fear in his eyes, youâre putty in his hands. But in the end, it makes little difference. The door to the room heâs dragged you into opens with a resounding bang before the two of you can make your escape. The sound is so loud, so frightening that you feel reverberations in your marrow as the door collides with the roomâs interior wall, no doubt leaving a sizable dent.
And standing there, shrouded by the gray tones of sunless winter daylight, your professor blocks the roomâs only exit.Â
Instinctively, you take a step closer to Heeseung. He does the same, pulling you towards him, behind him, until half of your body is covered by his. Peering over his shoulder, the sight that greets you is one that will haunt waking nightmares for a long time to come.Â
Professor Kim, who always prided himself on maintaining a neat, clean appearance couldnât be further from that now. His clothes are ripped, hanging from his body at odd angles, adding an element of disfigured monstrosity to his silhouette.Â
And his eyes. His eyes. Bloodshot and so wide they must hurt, they dart around the room, narrow in on you and Heeseung like he doesnât see humans. Only targets. Enemies. Prey. Mouth open and snarling, you swear you see a glint in his mouth, the shape of a tooth far too long and pointed to belong to any normal person.Â
But even those things you could force yourself to forget.Â
What horrifies you the most is the blood. Even in the shadows, the unnaturally potent shade of crimson is unmistakable. It stains him, covers him, drips from him. Seeps from his clothes and his skin and his mouth.Â
Panic clawing at your throat, you suppress the urge to vomit.Â
âGet behind me,â Heeseung whispers, low. âNow.â
But a split second of averted attention is all your professor needs. Professor Kim, lover of literature, beacon of taste, a role model youâve looked up to since the first time you stepped foot in his class a handful of months ago, pinches a tiny object between his long, bony, blood-covered fingers. And then he throws it.Â
With startling precision, it whistles through the air, races through a hazy cloud of confusion and panic before it strikes its target true.Â
It doesnât hurt, not really. The hand that flies to the side of your neck is instinct, more than anything. But the fingers that linger on your pulse point donât find the smooth expanse of your unblemished throat that they usually would.Â
Because thereâs something there now. An object lodged just beneath your jaw. Delicately, you draw your hand back in front of your face. Thereâs no blood on your fingers, but that doesnât stop them from shaking.Â
As you look over Heeseungâs shoulder, the world starts to blur around the edges. Darken, as if your eyes are closing of their own volition, against your will. You see him retreat, the terrible ghost of your professor. In the dark, he looks almost forlorn. Regretful.Â
âFuck,â Heeseung whispers. He doesnât see the way your professor spins on his heel, runs in the opposite direction. His attention is trained fully on the space beneath your jaw. âFuck.â
âHeeseung?â Your voice sounds strange to your own ears. Distant, muffled as if youâre submerged beneath water. You have so many questions.Â
But itâs suddenly so cold. And youâre so tired. Wouldnât it be nice to just lay down? Rest for a moment? Surely that couldnât hurt anything.Â
Your legs are wobbly beneath you, and you would collapse to the floor in an ungraceful heap if it werenât for the two hands on your waist, supporting your weight.Â
âIâm here,â he tells you. Cold. When did it get so cold? Your eyes try to focus on Heeseung, but your vision is swimming. You wonder if he would be warm. âIâm right here. Just⌠fuck.â
Gently, he eases you both to the ground. The floor is hard beneath you, but it feels like a reprieve. Youâre tired of holding the weight of your body upright. Your blinking is becoming slow, lethargic. Your head is suddenly far too heavy for your neck.Â
Slowly, Heeseung removes his hands from your waist, relocates them to either side of your jaw. With the care of someone well versed in patience, he delicately maneuvers your head to the side, exposing the length of your neck.Â
Whatever he finds there must be displeasing. You canât imagine why. You canât think much of anything. The world has taken on a sort of dreamlike quality in which everything feels loose, fluid and unburdened by the laws of any physics.Â
âFuck,â he whispers for the fourth time. The curse scatters over your cheekbone like a kiss.Â
Pulling back slightly, he meets your half-closed eyes. âIâm sorry.â It sounds like a prayer. âThis mightâŚâ he swallows, something in his resolve wavering. âThis might hurt.â
Pain. You can barely conceptualize the sensation. It feels like a distant memory.Â
And then heâs tilting your head to the side again. His face draws closer, overcomes the last of your remaining senses, demands the full attention of whatâs left of your consciousness.Â
You think he might kiss you. Whatever desire remains in you almost wishes he would.Â
Your eyes flutter shut, lips parting slightly as your eyelashes fan against the tops of your cheeks.Â
But his mouth never finds yours. Instead, you feel the soft caress of his lips against the side of your neck, a fleeting touch against the sensitive skin just beneath your jaw. Inhibitions whittled to nothing, you shudder against the sensation, release the airy ghost of a sigh.
He was wrong, you think. With his mouth on your neck, pain is the last thing you feel.Â
You feel his lips part against your skin, chasing away some of the cold that has only seeped deeper into bones, into the very essence of your being.Â
And then you feel it. Whatever capacity for sensation that remains all focuses on the sudden flash of agony as his teeth pierce the skin of your throat.Â
The tiny moan that escapes your lips is pitiful. Your ability to think, to rationalize, feels like something thatâs dangling in front of you, just out of reach. Your body is too heavy, too weak to respond to the flash of searing pain as your skin is pierced deeper.Â
He canât speak, but you feel the shallow vibration of a hum against your neck. Soothing, calming. His hand that doesnât bear the weight of your head moves to push a stray strand of hair from your forehead. Itâs gentle, reverent. In complete opposition to the war he wages against your neck.Â
Mouth still full of you, a groan escapes him. Itâs heady, throaty, and you feel it travel the length of your spine, settle in the pit of your stomach. Sensation is the only thing tethering you to this world, and you canât quite tell if this is pleasure or pain.Â
He pulls back, the absence of his steady heat leaving your jaw vulnerable to the chill in the air.Â
âHold on,â you hear. You canât pinpoint where the noise comes from. Sound surrounds you, washes over you in a strange uniformity. You feel the ground fall away, something warm and solid behind your shoulders and under your knees.âWeâll be there soon.â
Floating, you think. You must be floating. Itâs hard to tell. Moments are bleeding into one another too quickly for you to keep up.Â
Eyes closed, body molten, you relax into the steady grip that carries you.Â
And the last thing you hear before reality loses its hold is the fervent, whispered sound of your name.Â
â.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ë
CONTINUED IN PART 2 (which can be found on my masterlist!)
â.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ëâ.Ë⥠࣪ Ë
note: THANK YOUUUUU for reading!!! this is pretty different from what I usually write plot wise, so I hope it made for a good read. vampire heeseung and this oc are near and dear to me, and I'm excited to continue their story. the rest of this fic is fully plotted and partially written. I'm actively continuing to work on it, and hearing your thoughts/theories/screaming/feedback/etc. is great motivation! as always, I love know what you're thinking. âĄ
#heeseung fanfiction#heeseung x reader#heeseung fanfic#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x reader#heeseung x you#enhypen x you#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#heeseung scenarios#heeseung imagines
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hello! if you have the time could you please write soft Eddie guiding a shy reader when they make out for the first time?
part two
There's a knock on Eddie's door and he hurries to answer it, hoping it's who he thinks it is. He isn't expecting anyone else, but it's not uncommon for people to show up looking to buy from him, but he really hopes it's you. He's been looking forward to tonight for over a week since you suggested it. He opens the door and there you are, beautiful as ever.
He steps aside and you plant a soft kiss on his cheek as you enter the trailer. You hold out a DVD and a few of Eddie's favorite snacks and he can't help but smile at how sweet you are. You've only been on a few dates and hopes he wouldn't scare you off if he proposed. Because if he's being honest, he can't see himself with anyone else.
No one he's dated has ever been so sweet to him. All they seemed to be interested in was using him for his body and rarely anything else. He wasn't really known as Eddie "the freak" Munson (well, maybe in other ways) anymore, but it still seemed like people didn't want anything else from him besides drugs or sex.
But you? All you seem to want from him is his company, genuinely interested in all of his fun facts that he has about random subjects and you even laugh at his jokes. And they aren't pity laughs either. You're a breath of fresh air and he hopes you'll stick around forever.
"You didn't have to do all this," he tells you with a smile as he takes the stuff from you. You're staring down at the floor and he can tell you're getting shy on him again. He doesn't mind, though. He thinks it's cute.
"Of course I did," you insist. "I wanted to treat you for once," you then smile and Eddie never gets tired of seeing it.
"Well I'm not going to say no to that," he responds then takes you by the hand, threading his fingers through yours. "Now c'mon."
You follow him over to the couch and the two of you sit together, but you make sure to leave a little space to be polite. You want to be cuddled up into his side, though. You want rest your head on his chest as his hand lazily runs up and down your back.
A lot of the people you've out with all seemed to be after one thing so it warms your heart that Eddie is willing to go at your pace. He always waits for you to initiate things like hugs or kisses and waits until you pull away, never asking for more. He's nothing but a gentleman and you really like spending time with him.
Eddie spreads out all of the movies you brought, his eyebrows quirking at the variety. You seem to have an eclectic taste and he admires that. He plucks the horror movie from the selection and heads over to the VCR. As soon as his back is turned, you begin to panic. You had only brought the movie to give you excuse to get close to him because of the scary scenes, but now you're beginning to regret your decision.
Eddie turns back to you and you try to hide your fear, debating on telling him that you'd rather watch something else, but you can't yourself to form the words. So you just sit in silence as Eddie moves back over to the couch, sitting even closer to you now and your fear takes over as you throw yourself into his arms.
Eddie lets out a laugh at your eagerness but he wraps his arms around you anyway, pulling you even closer to him as he turns his head towards the screen. You instantly feel better knowing that he'll keep you safe but can't help but think about what Steve told you when he rented the movie out to you.
He told you that it was the scariest movie he'd ever seen and that he couldn't sleep for days afterwards. And you rented it anyway even though he had suggested many more options that weren't nearly as scary and would still help you get into Eddie's arms despite how silly he thought the idea was.
The movie hasn't even started and you're already burying your head into his chest, gripping his shirt in your fists as tight as possible. His hand moves up to stroke the back of your head as he murmurs something to you that you can't quite hear.
"Hey, hey," he says as grabs hold of your face, forcing you to look him in the eye. His are nothing but soft as they look at you, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," you shake your head, suddenly feeling silly for how scared you just were. "It's nothing."
"We don't have to watch the movie," he tells you. "If you were scared, why didn't you say something?" It's a fair question, but you stay silent, not wanting to tell him the truth.
"I-" you start to say but cut yourself off, not wanting to admit the truth nor finding the right words to use.
"You what, honey?" He asks, his hands moving up and down your back exactly the way you wanted him to. Sometimes you're convinced he's a mind reader.
"I just wanted an excuse to cuddle you," you tell him, your voice so soft he almost didn't hear you. And at that, Eddie lets out a laugh before pulling you to his chest, giving you a tight squeeze. You have to remind yourself that he's not laughing at you, but because of you.
"You could have just cuddled me," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and it is. Well, it should be, but you've always found it hard to voice what you want no matter how badly you want it.
"How about we call off the movie for now?" He asks and turns off the TV then pulls you closer to him, his hands still moving up and down your back. You look up at him as he licks his lips, now unable to think about anything but how inviting they look.
The two of you have kissed multiple times, but it's never gone any farther than little pecks here and there because you've been too afraid to do any more than that. But now you feel the need to go all the way, wondering what he tastes like, if his hair is as soft as it looks.
But you've never made out with anyone and that scares you. Even though you know for sure that Eddie would talk you through it, the whole thing still makes you feel nervous. But apparently not nervous to forget it completely because before you can stop yourself, you're looking up at Eddie, gulping before getting his attention.
"Eddie?" You ask and his head turns to you, those honey eyes boring into yours. You melt under his gaze but trying to muster up the confidence again.
"Hm?" He asks, that stupid smirk making its way upon his face, the same one that's always there when he looks at you.
"Can-" you cut yourself off for the second time tonight but Eddie just sits there, patient as ever as he waits for you to speak. He knows how hard it can get sometimes for you to speak your mind so he doesn't mind waiting for you to finish your thoughts. "Can I have a kiss?"
"Of course you can," he responds, taking your face in his hands and pecking your lips once, twice, three times before pulling away only for you to grumble in response.
"No," you shake your head. "I want a real kiss."
"Oh," he replies, wondering what made you decide on that, but wanting to oblige. He's willing to give you whatever you ask.
His hands move down to neck, his thumbs rubbing back and forth across your jaw as he leans in again, his lips slowly capturing yours as they move together slowly. He's nothing but gentle as he kisses you, showing you how it's done.
Your hands press against his chest and all you can think about how you can't believe you've gone so long without his lips attached to yours. They're nothing but soft and gentle and now you're sure that you can do this for hours.
Eddie breaks away before you're ready and you're breathing hard as you try to catch your breath. He stares down, a chuckle falling from his lips as he presses his forehead to yours.
"You're supposed breathe, baby," he tells you softly and you feel your cheeks heat.
"Can we try that again?" You ask as you pick up one of his curls, twirling it around your pointer finger, staring down at it as you speak again. "Do you think we could...make out? I promise to breathe this time."
"Oh, honey," he sighs before pressing a kiss to you lips. "I'd love to make out with you." Another and another until he's capturing your lips again, taking the lead again. You have no idea what you're doing but Eddie is being nothing but a sweetheart as he guides you through it.
He pulls away again and you whine this time at the absence of his lips, chasing him and getting in another quick kiss before you sit back, waiting for him.
"Do you want to sit in my lap?" He suggests. "I think that'll be more comfortable for you."
Eddie sits with his back against the couch and you do as he suggests and straddle his waist which feels foreign to you but he's right. It's much more comfortable. Your arms wrap around his neck as his rest on the small of your back, a good spot between your waist and upper back because this is just kissing and he doesn't want to give you the impression that he's going to go any farther.
"You kiss me now," he says and your heart races in your chest as you think about fucking it all up.
"Are you sure?" You ask, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling on it as you contemplate.
"Positive," he nods. "You've got this. Do whatever you want, baby. This is all about you."
"Okay," you nod, leaning forward and slotting your lips just like he did, Eddie immediately responding to you but he's moving at your pace instead of leading like he previously had.
You remember to breath through your nose as your fingers thread into his hair on each side of his head. His hair is normally off limits because people get too rough with it, but with you, he doesn't care. In fact, he loves when you play with his hair, a little bit of love sprinkles into every touch of it.
"You're doing so good, honey," he murmurs against your lips. "Do you want to try sticking your tongue in my mouth?"
"Please," you whine with a yank of his hair and if you can feel his cock hardening underneath you, you don't say anything. And thank god for that.
"Do you want me to show you first?"
"Yes," you breath against his lips and he's getting even more hard, knowing that he's going to have to get himself off later because there's no way he's going to expect you to go all the way right now.
Eddie captures your lips again as his hands rest against your waist, landing on the strip of skin where your shirt has ridden up. His lips are moving against you to warm you up and then he gingerly flicks his tongue against your bottom lip.
"Open up," he commands against your lips and you do as he says, opening up for him as he slides his tongue into your mouth. He swirls his tongue around yours and you mimic his actions, tugging on his hair as a moan falls from your lips at the feeling of his tongue moving with yours.
Your eyes widen and you can't help but pull away as you suddenly feel embarrassed at the sound you've just made. Eddie, though? Eddie's convinced that's the hottest thing he's ever heard and he really wants you to make it again.
"You don't have to be embarrassed," he says quickly, trying his best to assure you. "It was really hot, actually."
"It was?"
"Definitely," he nods. "Would it help if you made me moan too?" All you can do is nod and before he can say anything else, your lips are on his, only a few seconds passing before your tongue is flicking against his bottom lip. He opens up immediately and you mimic what he just showed you, your tongue swirling around his as you pulling on his hair even harder, a loud moan falling from his lips.
You haven't thought about it until now since you were so caught up in his kisses, but you're soaking wet between your legs and if you had more confidence, you'd ask Eddie to take care of you, but you don't so you don't. You don't think you're ready for that right now anyway.
You try to focus on the taste of him to get your mind off of it. He tastes like cigarettes that you know he smoked before you came over and you don't know why but you can't get enough of it. It's intoxicating.
You stay like that for a while until your lips are kiss bitten and your legs are asleep from you straddling him for too long. You both decide to call it a night and Eddie walks you to your car like the gentleman he is, kissing you one more time before you drive away. He then goes back inside and heads to his room where he collapses onto his bed, deciding that he's probably (definitely) in love with you.
#stranger things#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fluff#soft!eddie#soft!eddie x shy!reader#shy!reader#eddie munson x shy!reader
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Clueless
Jisung x fem!reader
Warnings: nothing!
Genre: colleagues to lovers, flufffff
Summary: You and Jisung are colleagues, and he's in love with you. But he's so nervous and clueless about how to win you over. And in come his brothers, to help out.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
It all began with Jisung staring at you for what feels like the 397th time that week. The way your soft smile lights up his world whenever you greet him, the way you tap your pen against your lip during team meetings, and the way you always manage to help him without a second thought - Jisung is completely, utterly gone.
And yet, he is clueless. Clueless as to how to make you notice him as more than the guy who fumbled through presentations and ogles at you like you're his favorite cheesecake.
So naturally, he turns to the only people he can think of for help. His brothers.
Jisung: I NEED HER.
I.N: Umm who?
Minho: Oh my god. Itâs that girl again.
Hyunjin: A girl, I see. Is she cute?
Felix: Guys, let him speak.
Chan: Okay, Jisung. Whatâs the problem?
Seungmin: Jisung has a crush.
Jisung: I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH.
Seungmin: Sure you don't. You're totally not unhinged rn.
Jisung: I'M NOT UNHINGED.
Seungmin: What's with the yelling then?
Jisung: I have⌠feelings. Serious ones.
Minho: So youâre down bad.
Hyunjin: Tragic. Whoâs the victim?
Jisung: Y/N Y/L/N
Complete silence.
I.N: Sheâs out of your league, bro.
Jisung: THATâS NOT HELPFUL.
Hyunjin: No, but seriously. Sheâs so sweet. Like so so sweet. Sweet sweet.
Chan: HYUNJIN.
Hyunjin: Sorry.
Felix: Thatâs why weâre here! To help him not ruin it. Right, guys?
Minho: um, sure.
Jisung stares at the chat, already regretting his decision. These are a bunch of maniacs for heaven's sake! He waits, holding his breath, while Felix breaks the silence.
Felix: Ok, let's brainstorm.
Minho: Easy. Corner her in the supply closet and say, âI need you. Now.â
Jisung: Excuse me, WHAT.
Hyunjin: No, wait. Thatâs brilliant. Push her against the wall for added effect. Women love tension.
Changbin: Are you sure about that?
Felix: Guys. Wtf.
Chan: Jisung, please donât do that.
Jisung: I wasnât GOING TO.
I.N: You sure?
Chan: Just start small. Be genuine. Compliment her work.
Felix: Yeah, that's a good plan.
Jisung groans, burying his face in his hands. Of course this is a bad idea. How's he going to compliment you when just the sight of you has him falling apart like a house of cards.
The next morning, Jisung walks into the office with a mission. Chan's advice sounds promising, so that's what he's going to follow.
At least that's what he thought he'd do. But the moment you walk into the room in that cute cardigan, his brain turns into mashed potatoes.
âGood morning, Jisung!â You say, smiling at him as usual.
âGood morning.â Jisung clears his throat, his hands turning ice cold.
âEverything ok?â You ask as you see him glitching.
âYeah, of course, perfect⌠you know, just thinking about.. um.. work.. it's good, you do good workâŚWork.â Jisung stares at you wide eyed, feeling faint.
Your brows furrow a little, but you still smile as you say, âThank you?â
Jisung barely makes it through the rest of the day without combusting. He just wants the earth to split open and swallow him whole because there's absolutely no point in trying to be alive after that.
Jisung: GUYS. I MESSED UP.
Minho: Shocking.
Jisung: I tried to compliment her, but I think I said âworkâ five times in a row.
Hyunjin: Should've cornered her in the supply closet.
Chan: Relax, Jisung. Everyone gets nervous.
Changbin: Nah, screw the soft play. You gotta go BIG.
Jisung: What does âBIGâ mean?
Changbin: Like a grand gesture. Buy her flowers or something.
Hyunjin: Or serenade her in the breakroom.
Felix: No. Don't do that.
Seungmin: What about showing off your strengths? Youâre funny. Make her laugh.
Minho: Yeah, tell her a joke about how bad you are at flirting. Maybe itâll cancel itself out.
Jisung decides to take Seungminâs advice. Because, even if he's a nervous mess, he is a funny guy. So the next day, during lunch, he manages to sit next to you.
âMind if I join you? â he asks, pretending his heart wasnât about to leap out of his throat.
Your smile and say, âOf course not.â
But then, he doesn't give it a minute before he executes his plan.
âIâm not great at this whole⌠flirting thing,â Jisung blurts out as soon as he sits. âBut I think Iâd like to learn. You. I mean, not learn you. I mean, yes, but not in the creepy way. Unless youâre - WAIT.â
He stops talking and breathing as he looks down at his food, trying to pull himself together.
You blink, biting your lip to stifle a laugh.
âYouâre doing fine, Jisung.â you say with a giggle and the warmth in your voice makes his cheeks burn.
âYeah?â he asks, looking up at you.
âYeah,â you say, tilting your head. âMaybe we can grab coffee sometime, and you can practice on me.â
Jisung didnât respond because he's too busy screaming internally.
Jisung: SHE SAID YES. OH MY GOD. SHE SAID YES.
I.N: TO WHAT?!
Jisung: COFFEE.
I.N: AHHH!
Hyunjin: Oh wow. Okay, donât screw this up.
Minho: Bring her flowers.
Changbin: And chocolate.
Felix: Just show up and be yourself.
Minho: Ew. Get out of here with that wholesome nonsense.
Chan: You'll do just fine.
Jisung puts his phone down, already plotting how to make the coffee date perfect. For once, he feels confident.
But then, as the date nears he's a mess again.
âDo I go casual? Or formal? What's even a business-casual?!â he mutters to himself before grabbing his phone and typing furiously into the group chat.
Jisung: What do I wear to a coffee date??
Felix: Something comfy. Think effortlessly cute.
Chan: yep, donât overdress.
Minho: Wear black. Itâs sexy.
Changbin: Yeah, nothing too tight. Youâll sweat like a pig.
Seungmin: Avoid your Pikachu hoodie. Please.
Jisung: I wasnât going to wear that (but thanks for the heads up)
Hyunjin: đ¤Łđ¤Ł
I.N: đ¤Łđ¤Ł
His confidence wavers a little as he stands in front of the mirror dressed in a nice fitted charcoal grey sweatshirt, and a pair of black jeans. Whatever, this has to do. But now, the flowers.
Jisung: What flowers do I get?
Hyunjin: Roses. Red ones. Lots of them. Nothing says, âI want to rip your clothes offâ like red roses.
Minho: Oh yeah roses.
Changbin: Nah, go for orchids. Theyâre rare and exotic. It shows taste.
I.N: Sunflowers. Theyâre happy. Go for the whole cheerful and sweet vibe.
Felix: Yeah, sunflowers! Theyâre cute, like her.
Chan: Go with whatever feels right, you got thisđ
Seungmin: Yeah. Go for your favorite?
Jisungâs head spins as he tries to process this. And as he finally stands in a flower shop, staring at the riot of colors, his eyes move to one particular bunch. He leaves the store clutching the bouquet like it is his lifeline.
The moment he sees you in front of the cafĂŠ, Jisung forgets how to breathe. You look so pretty in your simple yellow dress. It's a beautiful mustard yellow - plain, flowing. And you have left your hair down, just how he likes it.
âHey,â you greet him softly, as he approaches you.
âHi,â he manages, handing you the bouquet of sunflowers with shaky hands. âThese are for you.â
Your face lights up as you take the flowers, holding them close.
âOh my gosh, sunflowers are my favorites! How did you know?â you say, grinning happily at him.
And you look like sunshine personified in your yellow dress and sunflowers. Jisungâs cheeks turn crimson as he tries not to drool at you.
âLucky guess?â he says, and his heart almost springs out of his chest when you take his hand and lead him into the cafe.
The date starts off with a nervous energy, but to Jisungâs surprise, your warmth is contagious. You laugh at his jokes (even the dumb ones) and you are just soâŚinterested in him, that he finds himself relaxing in your company. Jisung knows he's completely in love with you. He can't control the happiness that's taking over him. This is just perfect.
And you? You are smitten.
âOkay, serious question,â you say as you stir your cup of mocha. âWhat made you choose suflowers? I mean, I love them, but Iâm curious.â
Jisung freezes for a second, but he tells you the truth. Well half truth.
âThey⌠remind me of you,â he says. âBright and beautiful.â
Your heart melts and you blush as you say, âYouâre adorable, you know that?â
âI - uh - thanks?â
Jisung walks you home, hours later, and it's like he doesn't even know why he was so nervous before. When you stop at your door and turn to him, there's a shy smile on your face.
âThank you for today, Jisung,â you say. âI had a great time.â
Jisung feels like his heart might just burst.
âMe too.â he says. âUmâŚso, I'll beâŚum-â
You giggle, leaning up to kiss his cheek. Your lips linger for a second too long before you whisper, âGoodnight, Jisung.â
As you disappear inside, Jisung takes time to unfreeze, his hand pressed to his cheek where your lips had been.
Jisung: SHE KISSED ME.
Hyunjin: SHE WHAT?! LIPS OR CHEEK?
Jisung: CHEEK.
I.N: Oh my GOD đ¤Š
Changbin: Good work đ
Felix: Thatâs huge đ
Minho: I give it three dates.
Seungmin: Two, if he doesnât do anything stupid.
Chan: That's amazing, Jisung!
Jisung: Oh my God, today was great.
Jisung: I could die happy.
Jisung: I'm gonna go plan our next date.
Hyunjin: He's definitely planning their wedding.
Felix: Hehe, goodnight, Ji.
Jisung puts his phone down, smiling to himself. For the first time, he feels great about this. You're even more perfect than he thought. You made him feel great about himself. And he couldn't wait to do this again.
a/n: Trying new things! I love reading all the fake text scenarios here and they're so good, so I wanted to try too!
#stray kids#skz#han jisung#han x you#han x y/n#han x reader#han fluff#han jisung x reader#han jisung fluff#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#stray kids x reader#skz x reader
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Paternal Instinct
squid game men's x daughter reader
â As the title says, this is gonna be a little bit paternal, like, I'm sure they'd be the best when it comes to children (sometimes)
â I will put imagines in and out of games and depending on the character the reader will be of different ages.
â The next thing I'll post will be a request from Thanos
Hwang In-ho
â Outside of games.
You, being a teenager in this world that your father dragged you into after your mother's death, were complete chaos.
You worked as a supervisor at his side wearing a mask with the figure from the square depicted in the center and despite being part of an organization of sadists you have not killed anyone, In-ho made sure you did not have to.
You walked into your room and removed the mask from your face as let out a long sigh, it had been a long day overseeing the creation of the games that this year's participants would cross and now all you wanted to do was sleep but as soon as you dropped your body onto the soft mattress, the door opened.
In-ho, without his frotman suit, entered your room with a small cake in his hands and the candles lit.
True, it was your birthday, Âżhow come you forgot your own birthday? Maybe it's because you spent the day planning the deaths of innocent people.
âI asked for this cake to be made for you âIn-ho said with a small, almost imperceptible smile.
They weren't as close as before, but he cared about you and tried to pay attention to everything that had to do with you.
âThanks âyou forced a smile as you sat on the edge of your bed âBut it wasn't necessary.
You wanted to take it back when you saw the slight grimace on your father's face but couldn't, you simply weren't in the mood to celebrate your birthday under these conditions, your life wasn't the best and although you didn't hold any grudge against In-ho sometimes you wondered what your adolescence would have been like if he had left you with your uncle Jun-ho and your grandmother.
âI know you think that, you can say it âHe said, leaving the cake on the table next to your bed.
âÂżWhy didn't you leave me with Jun-ho? I don't want to live here, I've had enough with my mother's death without seeing you become a puppet for these games.
In-ho sighed and looked down, you were right, he should have left you with his brother, he could have taken better care of you than he was doing but he didn't want to abandon you, he had already lost the love of his life, he couldn't lose his little world after that.
âYou are the only thing I have left âHe responded with regret âBelieve me, I considered it, letting you have a life you deserved but I couldn't just watch you through cameras ÂżDo you think bringing you to this shit was my first choice?
You didn't respond, you just hugged him and let him return the gesture, you still didn't want to continue living there but you didn't want to leave him alone either, after all, both only had each other.
After a few minutes of silence you looked back at the cake and smiled softly.
âÂżIs it chocolate?
âdark chocolate, your favorite âHe left a fatherly kiss on your head and took the cake again to put it in front of you âBlew out the candles and make a wish
The smile on your father's face was enough to ease your worries for a few moments, you blew out the candles hoping that one day these games would end.
â Inside the games.
In-ho's plan was going just as he thought, he approached Gi-hun and began to gain his trust but seeing you walk towards them among all the players made his heart skip a beat.
âÂżCan I be on your team? âYou asked with a smile that showed your white teeth.
âÂżHow old are you, girl? â390 asked with a surprised expression.
âTwenty âYou replied naturally, playing with your hands, but In-ho snorted and took two steps towards you.
âNo âHe looked at you witheringly âNo âNow he turned to see Gi-hun's team âShe is sixteen, no twenty ÂżWhat are you doing here?
He ended up looking at you again, he really didn't want you to be here and worse because his lie along with his fake name Young-il would fall apart but you were smart.
âÂżDo you know each other? âAsked 388, who you found cute almost immediately.
âYes, he is a friend of my father
âÂżWhat are you doing here? âIn-ho asked again, almost desperate to get an answer. You disobeyed him and you can be sure that you will be grounded until you turn thirty.
âThe same as you âYou answered firmly and defiantly, your smile challenged him because you were sure that he wouldn't scold you or his whole false theater would fall apart âÂżCan I be on your team?
âSure âDae-ho replied, smiling kindly at you.
You smiled at him too, but with other intentions, just to irritate your father a little and take advantage of the fact that he couldn't scold you now.
âThank you âyou said with a flirtatious smile and a wink, to which Dae-ho lowered his head in embarrassment.
âSixteen âIn-ho repeated with slight annoyance and a tense smile.
Dae-ho tensed and raised his hands in a sign of peace and took a step back, he was just being kind but it was better to be safe than to have to face that man who kept looking at you with annoyance and reprimand.
You would be a problem for your father because not only would you challenge him at every opportunity you had but you would also try to help Gi-hun end these games, that was your wish and nothing was going to make you change your mind.
The Salesman
â Outside of games.
The morning was calm, everything was silent and through the window you could see the clear sky with the sun shining, a good climate but a great contrast with the interior of your home.
The walls were wallpapered and the floor was shiny, you placed your hands on the cold marble table while your father placed a plate with a mountain of pancakes in front of you.
âBreakfast is ready âhe said with a wide smile.
A polite smile, but most of the time it conveys coldness and threat. For you, this expression was genuine affection.
âÂżAren't you going to have breakfast with me? âYou asked curiously watching him wipe his hands with the kitchen cloth and then fix his hair and walk towards the refrigerator.
âI would love to stay pumpkin but you know I have to go to work âHe replied without paying much attention to you âAfter finishing your breakfast you take off your pajamas, get dressed formally and wait for your teacher to arrive.
You nodded silently as you used the fork to bring a piece of pancake to your mouth.
Life was monotonous.
Every day, you got out of bed to make it, had breakfast that your father prepared, bathed, combed your hair and got ready to take your private lessons at home, did your homework and at night you watched an exact hour of cartoons, brushed your teeth and went to bed.
Your father was a very organized man when it came to your schedule, you remember how one time you watched five extra minutes of television and as punishment he locked you in your room for five hours.
âTelevision melts your brainâ
Despite everything, he loved you, you knew it, he just had a strange way of letting you know.
âI'll be back tonight, I love you pumpkin âHe said approaching you to leave a kiss on your forehead.
He was a good father, but you didn't know anything about what he was doing out there.
You didn't know that he recruited and investigated people who would die playing for money or that sometimes he took on dirty jobs that his boss sent him, you didn't know what kind of person he really was and that was what the salesman wanted.
He adored you and that's why he avoided at all costs that you knew about the double life he led, he didn't want to hurt you.
However, there were certain mistakes that he regretted, one for example was that he himself had killed your mother as soon as you were born, he knew that she would want to run away with you, she did not want to continue living the life she had at his side and that was why he had to put a bullet between her eyes.
He didn't let her take you away from him, you were his daughter and even though he locked you up practically every day, he convinced himself that it was only for safety.
He only let you go out for a walk in the park and shopping malls on your birthday, once a year.
Despite how boring your life was, everything was going well until one night you heard moans and sobs coming from below your house.
You rarely heard them and this time you were very curious, you got out of bed, put on your slippers and left your room.
You silently walked down the stairs as the noises grew louder, when you reached what seemed to be the source of the sound, you saw that it was your father's secret room, a door that led to the basement was always locked, but this time... it was open just a little.
âÂżDaddy? âYou called him softly as you opened the door.
As you walked down the dark basement stairs, sobs mixed with opera music filled your ears, sending a shiver of fear through your entire body, you hugged your teddy bear tighter.
âThe probability of dying is one in six and of surviving five in six âYou heard your father's voice.
He explained with a polite smile, it was a great contrast to the situation was in, he liked to feel the adrenaline of this game and that way he could also get rid of these two men who had been following him during the day.
However, when he saw you at the bottom of the stairs with a scared expression and on the verge of tears, his smile faded and hid the gun behind him.
âÂżWhat are you doing awake? It's past your bedtime and I told you a hundred times that you weren't allowed to come in here.
He spoke sternly and angrily, the two men he had tied to a respective chair began to make desperate sounds to get your attention, as if you were the only way to get out of there.
âÂĄSilence! âHe shouted furiously making you jump a little in your place, you hadn't seen this side of him âGo to your room, ÂĄnow!
Once you ran out of there, he took out his gun again and pointed it at the man in the red shirt. He was the one who made the most noise and that's why you woke up.
âExcellent, y'all traumatized a nine-year-old girl âHe said with a tense smile
Although it was also his fault, he knew that at any moment you would discover his work anyway, but he hoped that wouldn't happen soon.
After you returned to your room you couldn't sleep, a couple of hours passed until your father opened the door and cautiously entered.
âYou were disobedient âhe began in a serious voice âAnd as a result you saw something you shouldn't have.
You were still lying face down with your face hidden in the pillow, he still had the loaded gun in his hand, he knew what had to do or else you would cause trouble.
But him couldn't.
The ease with which he killed his father was surprising but he couldn't kill you, you were the only thing that gave this home humanity and the mere thought of ending it made his stomach turn.
He clenched the gun in his hand and twisted his lips, after a long mental battle he put the gun in his pants and sat next to you.
âThere are many things that you still won't understand, but what you can be sure of is that I am your father and I love you âWith his hand he caressed your hair and felt you relax a little. âNo matter what you saw down there, you will still be my daughter, but there will be some changes in this house.
You remained silent, you felt distrust but he was still your father, he was the only thing you knew and even if you were afraid of him you couldn't leave there, you had nowhere to go.
After a few minutes you sat up in bed and hugged him for comfort. He just caressed your hair and kissed your head.
Hwang Jun-ho
â Outside of games.
Being the daughter of a police officer had its advantages and disadvantages.
One advantage was that you could brag about it whenever someone bothered you at school, including teachers, and a big disadvantage was that you rarely got to spend time together as a father and daughter.
Jun-ho worked constantly but he also tried to keep an eye on you. "She's your daughter, before you know it she'll be your age," his mother constantly repeated to him reproachfully, she was right, time was flying and if he continued looking for his lost brother or working double shifts at the police station he would miss more years of your life.
For that reason, he decided to leave work early that day, and went to buy two hamburgers, some chips and candy while he thought of some fun activity to strengthen the family bond.
But when he got home he found you sitting at the table next to your teacher.
He twisted his lips, assuming you had gotten into trouble.
It was no surprise, you missed some classes, you didn't bring homework and your grades weren't the best but you were a great girl in terms of your behavior, just very distracted and Jun-ho couldn't help but feel guilty about that behavior on your part, yeah, sometimes you did it to get his attention.
After talking for two hours with your teacher she left and your father looked at you tiredly.
âYou haven't taken any algebra classes, if you continue like this you'll fail the year.
You formed a fake smile on your lips.
âThe teacher hates me âYou stated, getting up from your chair to go towards the bag that your father had brought. âYou left work early.
âI thought I'd do something fun, you know... father-daughter
You saw him with a raised chest, it was not usual, it was already customary for Jun-ho to spend most of the day outside the house, either looking for your uncle or immersing himself in his work.
âÂżIt's a holiday and I forgot? âYou asked funny and sarcastic, turning around to get a juice from the refrigerator.
âFunny âhe responded falsely âNow bring your notebooks, let's study together.
It was not the entertaining activity that he had in mind but if it brought them closer as a family it was an opportunity that he would not waste.
âÂżOh really? I mean, I already missed the school year anyway.
The look on Jun-ho's face let you know that he wasn't joking, they were going to spend the next four hours studying numbers and equations.
You really thought it would be a waste of time but it wasn't like that, as the conversation about algebra flowed the confidence did too, Jun-ho had been absent many times but this help made you remember that no matter what happens or how, no matter how big or small the problem is, he will be there for you.
â Inside the games.
You were stubborn, you always disobeyed any order they gave you, even if your father asked you not to get involved in his affairs you ignored him because were family and you should support each other.
The last few days you had seen Jun-ho more worried and anxious than normal, so you decided to follow him and find out the reason for his current state but you didn't imagine that it was something related to the disappearance of your uncle In-ho, apparently he had already got some clues and you wanted to help him.
He scolded you when he discovered you and warned you not to get involved, he even went to leave you with grandma with the excuse that he would be away for a couple of days but you escaped through a window and followed him again.
That led you to where you were now.
Your bare feet were sweating and your hands were shaking, you tried to avoid looking down through the glass you were in but curiosity got the better of you and you looked down into the void.
You were terrified.
The night you followed your father, one of the men dressed in pink with a circle mask discovered you, left you unconscious and when you woke up you were wearing a green uniform with the number "455" lying on a bed and surrounded by several people who dressed the same, you thought it was some joke, you didn't know what you had gotten yourself involved in, and when you saw that had to play a series of games to avoid being killed, you felt as if the soul was leaving your body.
You looked for your father among all the players but you couldn't find him and shortly after you learned that he had infiltrated the guards, he told you when he came in during a fight between players and was able to talk to you for a few seconds.
âI don't want to die âYou murmured fearfully as you heard another glass breaking accompanied by a scream.
âYou're not going to die, you have to relax â218 spoke behind you, you were one of the last to cross these crystals and you were more than grateful for that.
You gulped and continued jumping to the next crystal that fortunately had already been tested by another player.
Meanwhile Jun-ho felt his stomach turn and his heart beat like crazy.
He tried to maintain a firm and calm posture, he was still an infiltrator and he couldn't let them notice his concern, but seeing you there between life and death made his heart stop.
One of the so-called "VIP" with a gold mask called him to serve him more liquor and he obeyed, however, the conversation that these people were having about the players made his blood run cold, they talked as if they were just entertainment, some circus animals so that these people could have fun as spectators, but what caught their attention the most was the way they talked about you.
"She looks about fifteen years old" one said with amusement "I say sixteen" spoke another.
Wrong, you were thirteen years old and Jun-ho felt like the worst father in the world for letting you get involved in this.
âÂżWill sell the body if she dies or will they cremate it? âOne asked interestedly and earning laughter from the rest, Jun-ho only felt nauseous listening to it.
Jun-ho returned to serve liquor to one of the masked men but when he heard a glass break followed by a female scream that he immediately identified as your, he turned around and felt his world collapse.
Where you were previously standing was now 218 with the gaze lost downwards and the body tense, when it was your turn to decide between the two crystals you refused, you didn't want to do it and saw the man who helped you survive each game was there behind you ready to push you.
Another breaking glass caught the attention of the guests, guards and the frontman, Jun-ho had dropped the tray with everything and bottle of liquor.
âI apologize âhe murmured, bending down to pick up the mess of broken glass, taking advantage of the fact that no one could see his face, he shed tears of pain.
[...]
A few months had passed after living that nightmare in the games, Jun-ho left there with a bullet in his shoulder and with the disappointment of discovering that it was his brother who was leading all that, but also thanks to that you left alone with some broken bones.
In-ho recognized you instantly and made sure that you could get out of there alive, when you fell from that glass platform your body did not fall directly to the ground, the blow was cushioned by a pad that had been placed specifically for you.
He pretended you were dead and sent you to the hospital, When Jun-ho found out that you were there, he cried with happiness knowing that you were still breathing.
He walked into your hospital room with a set of clean clothes in his hands and when he saw you sitting on the bed eating Jell-O and watching TV he couldn't help but laugh.
âFor you this was a vacation.
âFalling from a great height brings its advantages âYou said with a triumphant smile, you had gotten rid of many exams and schoolwork.
He always apologized to you for everything you had to go through, from that day on he stopped looking for In-ho (or at least he did it secretly from you) and he was more attentive to you, he took you to school, he was never missing to any event that was special for you and he promised to put you ahead of everything.
Seong Gi-hun
â Outside the games.
He's not the best father but he tries.
You were standing in the forum of your school wearing a dark blue robe and the characteristic mortarboard on your head, in your hands you held your diploma and tried to smile for the camera of the photographer that the school had hired.
You still looked between the seats in the stands for your father but there was no one, your mother had gone with your sister to the United States with her new husband and you had stayed here because you didn't want to abandon Gi-hun.
You formed a grimace on your lips and looked down with sadness and disappointment until suddenly you heard him voice among the people and you looked up again.
âYes, my daughter just graduated, ÂĄOops! Sorry if I stepped on you âHe spoke embarrassedly as he crossed the row of people to get to his seat.
You laughed softly and inevitably raised your hand to greet him and get his attention even though your teacher scolded you.
Gi-hun carried a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a gift box in his hands, he sat in his respective place and smiled at you affectionately.
To be honest with himself, he had not planned to come to your graduation, he would apologize to you later by taking you to eat, giving you a gift and flowers, but in the end he decided to go, late but he arrived.
It took him a long time to find the salesman again and he was practically investing all his money in it, this day was not going to be different, Âżwhat made him change his mind? The photo of you as a baby that he had saved on his phone, the one-year-old you would cry inconsolably if he knew he was going to be without him on this special day.
When the ceremony ended you ran towards him, who welcomed you with open arms.
âCongratulations my life, I'm proud of you âHe said, giving you a fatherly kiss on the forehead.
âThanks for coming âYour smile was enough to confirm that he had made the right decision.
He gave you your flowers and the gift, when you opened it you found a beautiful sewing machine, it was the most appropriate gift considering that you had just graduated as a fashion designer.
âÂĄThank you dad! âYou said happily, hugging him tightly again.
You were excited and he was also happy to share this moment with you, he had isolated himself from everything for the last three years but you managed to get him out of his comfort zone to also make him smile.
Sometimes he isolated you to protect you, he didn't want anyone involved in those games to know that he had a daughter, a great weakness if they asked him and if something happened to you he was sure that he would never forgive himself and he would be capable of doing the unimaginable for defend you.
He called you "my life" and it was because that's what you were to him, his entire life, his oldest daughter was all he had left.
â Inside the games.
The last thing he wanted to happen was exactly what happened.
The night they took him back to those games you were also dragged with him, not by your own will because you didn't know anything about this but by the simple fact of being the closest to him you found yourself involved in this conflict.
âÂżWhy didn't you ever tell me about this? âYou asked him cautiously as ate the food those pink guards had given them in silver cans.
âI didn't want you to get involved in this âHe admitted with an expression of failure and anguish âBut now you're in danger.
âWe'll be fine âYou smiled at him with motivation âThey're just... they're child's games Âżright? We will get out of here alive.
âShe's right, we just have to be prepared âYoung-il said agreeing with you.
You stayed quiet and sat next to your father while you finished eating until a dispute between players caught your attention, one with purple hair and his friend forcefully pushed another to the ground.
A grimace of pain formed on your lips as the poor guy was kicked in the abdomen, knocking the wind out of him.
âÂżAren't they going to help you? They are hurting him âYou complained, turning to look at the group of allies that your father had formed, but when you saw that no one was going to do anything, you stood up.
But as soon as you took a step, Young-il put a hand on your shoulder as a sign that he would take care of the situation.
After he hit the two bullies you went to player 333 and helped him stand up.
âÂżAre you okay? Come with me âYou said leading him to your group.
He gave you his name as a thank you, Lee Myung-gi, while you were talking to him you noticed that he was attractive and he was only a couple of years older than you
Well, eight years to you wasn't much of a difference but your father wasn't too happy about it.
During the next game in which they had to team up with five players, Gi-hun tried to keep you close.
âWell, the five of us are here, we are complete.
âMyung-gi doesn't have a team yet âYou said, approaching 333 who was still standing next to you but looking in all directions in search of some team âI'll go and form another one with him.
Those words didn't seem pleasant to Gi-hun either, but before he could refuse, Young-il interrupted to help you a little.
âThat's good, this way it will be easier for you to find team.
You thanked him with your look and before your father could say anything you took 333 by the hand and the two of snuck through the players in search of a team.
Even so, you could feel your father's gaze on your back and not to mention Myung-gi, he did feel somewhat intimidated but he also couldn't deny a certain attraction he had towards you since he saw you.
It was incredible and made you laugh how despite the circumstances he was still protective of you, not only protecting you from physical harm, but also emotional harm and keeping an eye out in case someone wanted to break your heart.
With the salesman I didn't put it into the games because I think it's obvious that that man would never allow something like that when it comes to his daughter.
Thanks for reading and the next thing I'll post will be about Thanos, a pending request :D
#squid game#squidgamexyou#squid game x reader#squid game fic#the salesman x reader#the salesman x you#player001 x you#player001 x reader#hwang inho x reader#in ho x reader#in ho squidgame#hwang in ho#young-il x reader#young il x you#Young-il#gi hun x reader#gi hun x you#player 456#player 333#lee myung gi x reader#jun ho x you#hwang jun ho x reader#jun ho x reader
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âďš ę° đđĄđ˘đ§đđđĽ đ¨đĄđđŠđđĽđŚđ!đđđđ˘ đŞđđđđđĄđ đđđđđđđĄđ˘đĄđŚ ęą
ekko đ fem!reader
ŕ¨ŕ§ English is not my first language, so I regret in advance if something reads weird or is misspelled
ŕ¨ŕ§ These are headcanons of the other Ekko, before the canon Ekko from the show "takes" his place⌠I hope you understand...
ŕ¨ŕ§ I'm still writing for the fic, but the last chapters is taking longer than I thought, I hope you understand, in the meantime I have some things in drafts that I will publish so you don't run out of content.
âË â§ âżď¸ľâżŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâż ⧠âË
another universe!ekko who was really nervous about proposing to you knowing how big of a step that is...
Ekko had always been a confident guy. He was innovator, someone who could fix almost anything. But when it came to you, he found himself feeling like a bumbling preteenager all over again. He wanted everything to be perfectâdown to the handmade ring he was crafting for the proposal. Using scraps of precious metals and stones he collected over the years, he poured hours of focus into shaping it into something that represented your story together. Benzo would catch him hunched over his workstation at odd hours, muttering about the alignment or polish. "You know, kid, itâs not like sheâs gonna turn you down if itâs a millimeter off," Benzo teased, ruffling Ekkoâs hair. Ekko would just grin sheepishly but double his efforts anyway.
another universe!ekko who practiced his proposal speech a dozen times, only to get caught mid-rehearsal...
He was standing in the middle of The Last Drop, the roof their unofficial safe haven for years. âSo, um, Iâve been thinkingâŚâ he started, pacing back and forth. âNo, no, that sounds dumb. Okayââyouâre the light of my life, and I canât imagineââ ugh, thatâs so cheesy.â Behind him, Powder crept up the stairs, barely containing her giggles. âKeep going,â she whispered, trying not to laugh. Ekko whipped around, his face flaming red. âHow long have you been there?!â âLong enough to know youâre terrible at this,â she teased, doubling over with laughter. âYouâre lucky she already loves you.â
another universe!ekko who had no idea you were planning your own big announcement...
While Ekko was caught up in his grand proposal plans, you were busy with plans of your own. The test results sat folded in your pocket for days, and your hands hovered over them more times than you could count. You were going to be a mother. It was Powder who figured it out first, being too observant for her own good. âYouâve been glowing,â she said one afternoon while helping you sort supplies at the community center. âAlso, you cried over Mylo spilling coffee, so I kinda put two and two together.â You blinked at her, stunned. âPowder, you cannot tell anyone yet!â She held up her hands. âCross my heart! But seriously, Iâm gonna be the best godmother ever!â You couldnât help but laugh, though your nerves stayed. You wondered how Ekko would react, if heâd be overwhelmed or excitedâor both.
another universe!ekko who proposed on the roof of the last drop, the place where your story began...
Ekko had chosen the roof where he had first kissed you as the spot to ask you to be his forever. He had strung up soft, glowing lights and set up a little table with flowers and your favorite dessert. When you stepped onto the roof and saw him standing there, his hands fidgeting nervously as he smiled at you, your heart swelled with affection. He cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. "So, uh⌠Iâve been thinking about this moment for a long time." You stepped closer, your smile encouraging him to continue. "Being with you has been the greatest adventure of my life," he said, his voice gaining confidence. "And I canât imagine spending another day without knowing that youâll always be by my side. So..." He dropped to one knee and pulled out the handmade ring, holding it up with a hopeful look. "Will you marry me?" Tears filled your eyes as you nodded, unable to find your voice at first. "Yes, Ekko. Of course, Iâll marry you." The joy on his face was priceless as he slipped the ring onto your finger, pulling you into a tight embrace.
another universe!ekko who fainted when you told him you were pregnant moments later...
But before he could say another word, you decided it was time to share your own surprise. âI have something to tell you too,â you said, your hand trembling as you guided his to your stomach. âYouâre going to be a dad.â His grin froze, his eyes widening in disbelief. âWait, whatâ?â And then he hit the floor. Powderâs shriek of laughter carried from the rooftop stairs. "I knew heâd do that!"
another universe!ekko who woke up to find you fanning him, looking both amused and concerned...
"You okay?" you asked, trying not to laugh. He blinked up at you, groaning. "Wait⌠did you just sayâŚ?" "Yes, Ekko," you said softly. "Youâre going to be a dad." For a moment, he was silent, then a wide grin broke across his face. "Iâm gonna be a dad," he repeated, awe in his voice.
another universe!everyone who was overjoyed by the double newsâŚ
Vander insisted on hosting an engagement party at The Last Drop, which quickly turned into a celebration for the baby too. Silco was the first to congratulate you both, "Youâll be a wonderful mother," he said quietly. Claggor and Mylo, meanwhile, started a heated argument over who would be the better uncle. "Iâm obviously the fun uncle," Mylo declared, crossing his arms. Claggor rolled his eyes. "The kid needs someone responsible. Thatâs me." Powder, sitting nearby, added fuel to the fire. "Donât worry, guys. The babyâs gonna love me more anyway. Iâm the godmother!" Benzo couldnât resist teasing Ekko. "Didnât want to wait, huh?" he joked, clapping him on the back. Ekko just laughed, unashamed. "When you know, you know."
another universe!ekko who became the most attentive fiancĂŠ and father-to-be anyone had ever seenâŚ
Ekko went into full-on protective mode. He insisted on carrying anything remotely heavy for you, making sure you got enough rest, and preparing meals that he claimed were "good for the baby." "Ekko, itâs just a broom," you said one afternoon, trying to sweep the living room. "Doesnât matter," he replied, gently taking it from your hands. "Youâre not lifting a finger while Iâm around."
another universe!ekko who is absolutely excited about his baby
Ekko transformed into the ultimate caretaker. He made sure you were comfortable at all times, fussing over pillows, blankets, and cravings. Heâd often disappear for errands and come back with baby clothes, stuffed animals, or tiny shoes. "You know itâs too early to shop, right?" you teased one evening. "Yeah, but look at these little boots!" he said, holding them up proudly.
another universe!ekko who spent hours talking to your belly...
He would lean close, resting his head against you as he spoke softly. âHey, little one. Itâs your dad. I just wanted to say I love you alreadyâwhether youâre a boy or a girl, doesnât matter.â Your laughter filled the room. âYouâre gonna spoil them before theyâre even born.â âDamn right,â he said, grinning.
another universe!silco who became unexpectedly protective of you during your pregnancyâŚ
"Must I remind you," Silco said one day, his piercing gaze locking onto yours, "that youâre carrying a very important member of this family?" "I was just reaching for a book," you replied, amused. "It starts with books, and ends with unnecessary strain."
another universe!powder who was the maid of honor and made sure your dress was perfect...
Powder was practically vibrating with excitement as she helped you into your gown. âYou look like a queen,â she declared, fluffing the skirt. âNo, a goddess. Ekkoâs gonna cry when he sees you.â âLetâs hope he doesnât faint again,â you teased, earning a snort of laughter.
another universe!benzo who secretly cried at ekkoâs wedding...
As you walked down the aisle, arm in arm with Vander, Benzo dabbed at his eyes. When Ekko teased him later, he grumbled, âShut it, kid. Itâs allergies.â
another universe!ekko whose wedding was the event of the year...
The Last Drop was transformed into a breathtaking venue, with twinkling lights and decorations. Vander had insisted on non-alcoholic cocktails, much to the delight of you and the other guests. Ekko couldnât take his eyes off you as you exchanged vows, his voice steady despite the overwhelming emotions. âYouâre my everything,â he said, slipping the ring onto your finger. "I promise to love you, protect you, and be the best partner and dad I can beâfor you and for our family."
another universe!ekko who ended the night on the roof where it all began...
After the reception, Ekko led you back to the roof where it all began. The city lights shimmered below, the quiet hum of Zaun wrapping around you like a warm embrace. Ekko knelt in front of you, resting his head gently against your rounded belly. "Iâll be the best dad," he murmured, his hands cradling your bump. "You already are," you assured him, running your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you, his brown eyes shining with love. "And Iâll spend the rest of my life proving it."
âË â§ âżď¸ľâżŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâż ⧠âË
#ekko fluff#arcane season two#arcane x reader#ekko x reader#dad!ekko#ekko imagines#arcane ekko x reader
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|âď¸|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, this is my first time writing something like this. English is not my first language, and to be quite honest, I'm still learning, and I used the translator to help me, following my heart, so... :)
please don't be mean to me.
featuring : Violet x reader x Caitlyn
Warnings: smut (18+), threesome, fingering, oral, Vi nicknamed the reader muffin. that's it, and a little more.
Synopsis: morning activities ;)
~~~~~~~~|âď¸| ~~~~~~~~
The alarm clock blares. You grumble, slapping the snooze button.
"Ugh..." Vi groans, her red hair messy. "Five more minutes..." She sleepily murmurs, pulling you into a deeper cuddle. Vi's like a muscular koala, a bundle of warmth. her body is warm and her embrace is comfortable. so unfair.
"Up, you two." Caitlyn gently whispers, nudging you and Vi. Caitlyn, always the responsible one. She's even already in her Enforcer uniform, what's weird why, Today's an day off.
"I made your favorite tea." The tall Piltovian nudges you with a small smile. "And black coffee for you, Vi." Caitlyn adds, wiping the drool from your lip, then petting your hair.
You groaned lightly, hiding your face in the pillow, trying to escape the light coming through the windows.
Caitlyn raises a brow, chuckling softly at your cute babble. She places the drinks carefully on the bedside table. sitting beside you, on the edge of the bed, gently stroking your hair.
Vi throws her arm around your waist and sighs, burying her face in the crook of your neck.
Caitlyn chuckles at Violet's clingyness. She looks over at Vi, gently stroking her hair. "how stubborn." Caitlyn mutters, amused at your sleep-clung onto each other.
Caitlyn gently shakes your shoulder. "Sweetheart, it's not healthy to oversleep." She reminds
Vi mumbles something in protest, tightening her grip on you. She pulls the covers over her head. "Five more minutes, Cupcake."
Caitlyn shakes her head, a warm smile on her face. She reaches over, gently poking Vi from underneath the covers. "your drinks are getting cold"
you groaned, taking your face off the pillow and blinking your eyes slowly until you got used to the light "Cait?"
Caitlyn leans in, gently cupping your face with one hand. She smiles at your husky voice, your sleepy expression, and your bed-tousled hair. You look utterly adorable to her.
She hums in acknowledgment at your sleepy murmur. "Yes, sweetheart?"
Cait's accent brings a lazy smile to your lips, you just murmur lightly taking her hand with both hands and rubbing your cheek against the warm skin
Caitlyn's smile widens, watching you nuzzle her hand, practically melting from your cuteness. Her thumb gently brushes your cheek. She leans forward, lightly kissing the top of your head.
Caitlyn glances over at Vi, who was peeking out of the covers, eyeing the affectionate display with a hint of jealousy. She chuckles softly.
You moves one of her hands, caressing the Zaunite's tattooed arm. "I'm still sleepy," she murmurs, turning over and burying her head in Vi's neck.
Vi responds by wrapping her strong arms around you, holding you against her warm body.
"Me too muffin." She mumbles in response, burying her face into your hair. Vi inhales your scent, basking in your soft touch and presence. She murmurs softly, her breath warm against your skin. "But Cupcake won't let us sleep in, as much as I want to." She looks over her shoulder, meeting Cait's narrow gaze, accompanied by a restrained smile.
"so mean" you murmur dramatically dragging your nails down the pinkette's back lovingly.
Vi shivers lightly, goosebumps covering her skin from the sensation of your nails tracing along her back. She can't help but shiver again, a soft gasp escaping her lips.
Vi pulls you closer, tightening her embrace around you. She buries her face into the crook of your neck, mumbling against your skin: "You're gonna regret doing that, princess."
you snort, chuckling softly before doing it again.
Vi groans, her grip on you tightening in response to your touch. She nips at your neck, leaving a love bite.
Vi's cheeks are slightly flushed. The way you're touching her is making her start to feel hot and bothered.
Caitlyn watches you and Vi's interaction. She can see the change in Vi's expression. It looks like the Zaunite is becoming affected by your touches. The sight of this makes Caitlyn's heart beat faster. She can't help but blush, feeling a little flustered by the growing heat between the two.
"Hmm... So easy" you whisper, lightly biting the skin within your reach.
Vi's body tenses up as you bite her skin, your warm, wet tongue brushing the spot right after. A low moan escapes her lips, her grip on you tightening, her cheeks becoming flushed.
"Y-You're gonna regret this, muffin." She grumbles, her voice breathless. Vi's hands slide under the hem of your shirt, her fingers splaying across your bare skin, igniting sparks of heat with every touch.
"Hmmmm" Izzy murmurs and gets off the Zaunite's neck looking at Caitlyn "I thought you were off today" she says softly reaching out to touch the arm resting on the bed.
Caitlyn's heart skips a beat when Izzy's hand brushes over her arm. She shivers at the soft touch, her eyes meeting Izzy's gaze.
She nods, a warm smile on her face. "I am. But you know how I am; a workaholic can't go a day without getting something productive done." Caitlyn chuckles, then glances between Izzy and Vi, her smile slightly shifting to a sly grin.
"Well... I can think of a lot of productive things you can do without a uniform" you say slightly mischievously and use your free hand to caress the back of Violet's neck while looking at Cait.
"can you?" cait says with a mischievous smile and an amused look.her thoughts immediately going to naughty places at your words. She feels a flutter of excitement in her stomach, her heart racing faster.
Vi, now sitting up on the bed, also flushes at your words. A playful smirk appears on her face as she notices the shift in tension. She looks at Caitlyn with a knowing look and murmurs: " Sounds like a good idea to me cupcake."
You sit up sighing. The strap of your silk nightgown slips gently down your shoulder and she sighs moving her neck "doesn't that sound good to you?"
Caitlyn glances at the movement of the strap sliding off your shoulder and a shiver of heat runs down her body. She swallows hard, her eyes tracing the contour of your neck and collarbone. Caitlyn bites her lip.
Vi looks at you, her eyes fixed on your exposed skin. Her smirk widens, her breath quickening. She leans closer, one hand gripping the bedsheet as she fights the urge to reach out.
Caitlyn inhales slowly, her voice a little huskier as she answers. "Well... those activities are definitely productive..." She glances at Vi, a hint of excitement in her eyes.
The Zaunite smirks, her gaze locked on you. There's a spark of desire visible in her expression. "We should... start working on those activities as soon as possible. Right, Cupcake?"
Vi's breath catches in her throat as your hand caresses her skin, tracing a fiery path along her arm and shoulder. Her heart skips a beat. Her body aches to be touched, but then you pull away right as she leans in, leaving her wanting more. Vi lets out a soft growl, a mixture of frustration and desire burning within her.
She locks eyes with you, her gaze becoming intense and filled with need. Vi knows you're teasing her, but damn, it's working. She leans in again, her eyes fixed on your lips, craving for a taste.
"Calm down, we have to be fair" you smile and look at Caitlyn "Cait was so sweet making our coffee, and we haven't even drunk it yet, it's only fair that she comes first"
Caitlyn's breath hitches as both of you look at her. A mixture of excitement and anticipation in her eyes. She can see the desire on both of your expressions and it only makes her heart beat faster.
The Piltover's voice is a little shaky as she replies: "I-I suppose that's fair..."
You smile excitedly and get out of the sheets, getting up and standing in front of the older woman, moving her hands to undo the buttons on her sheriff's outfit. you looks over Cait's shoulder and sees Vi approaching Cait from behind. The blue haired woman holds the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, her soft lips moving against yours with a certain urgency.
Cait's breathing falters when you're apart She tries to steady herself but can't help but shiver as your hands brush against her skin. The feeling of Vi pressing against his body from behind only makes his excitement increase.
You quickly get rid of the top, leaving the sheriff in her bra and pants while the Zaunite begins to kiss the back of Cait's neck, running her hands over her shoulders. You wet your lips at the sight of her flushed face and bright eyes in front of you, before kneeling between the sheriff's legs and beginning to undo her leather belt.
Caitlyn's breathing quickens as you look at her from this angle, grabbing the waistband of your pants in a silent plea.
Caitlyn feels acutely aware of the pinkette's presence, trailing kisses down her neck as she returns her hands to her clothed breasts. Her heart is racing, and the feel of Vi's wet lips against her neck only heightens her arousal.
Caitlyn's eyes narrow slightly, lifting her hips so you can pull the pants down her thighs, her body tensing in anticipation. She could feel Vi's heat behind her, your hands roaming her now bare thighs, a subtle reminder of the desire between the three of them.
you wet your lips by opening her legs and kissing the inside of her thighs lightly
Caitlyn's body tenses in anticipation, her breath getting even shorter. The feeling of your lips against her skin is making her head spin.
She feels Vi's hands moving across her body, her touch igniting her every nerve ending. The combination of both of your touches is driving her almost to the edge.
Caitlyn lets out a soft moan, the sound shaky and filled with need. She feels her heart race as she struggles to hold back her desires.
You finally pay some attention to the puddle between her legs, dragging your tongue across the warm, flushed skin, moaning softly at the taste.
Caitlyn's breath catches in her throat, her body quivering at your touch. She grips the sheets on the bed, her knuckles turning white.
Vi's fingers slide across her body, gently tracing over her skin. The feeling of Vi's touch combined with your teasing is almost overwhelming. She shudders, her breath coming in short gasps as she tries to control herself.
Caitlyn tries to take a deep breath, but it's caught in her throat as she lets out a strangled moan, her body burning with need.
You look up to see Cait leaning against Vi, who is caressing her body and breasts. The pink haired girl pulls Cait's bra down, playing with her pink nipples as she kisses the sheriff's neck, who has her head hanging back on the woman's shoulder. The younger girl moves one of her hands using one of her fingers on the older girl, collecting some of her lubrication with her fingertips before sinking a finger into her hot hole, while keeping her mouth on her clitoris, brushing her tongue slowly.
Caitlyn closes her eyes, she moans softly as Vi's hands explore her body, her touch stoking the fire that's building inside. She lets out a sharp gasp as your touch moves to her center, the feeling both exciting and overwhelming. Caitlyn is becoming lost in the pleasure, her body on fire with need and desire.
She whispers breathlessly, her voice shaky: "humm... oh, ... more."
Heat rises up your neck, your nails lightly scratching cait's thighs, adding a second finger your finger moves gently against her warm walls while moving your tongue faster. Fire races through Caitlyn's body, her breath coming in short, labored gasps. The pleasure is building, becoming almost unbearable. She grips the sheets tightly, trying to anchor herself in the moment.
A strangled moan escapes her lips as you add another finger, her body arching involuntarily at the additional sensation. The feeling of you against her, combined with Vi's touch, is pushing her closer and closer to the edge.
She can barely string words together, her voice trembling as she whispers: "Don't... don't stop, don't... please, don't stop. I need more..."
Vi is enjoying the moment, watching your effect on Caitlyn and feeling the tension in the air. She continues to touch and caress the Sheriff's body, her own desire growing as she sees how much her wife is enjoying your actions.
She leans in, her teeth nipping at Caitlyn's ear, her voice low and possessive: "You're so close, aren't you, Cupcake? I can see how much you need it. We're going to make you feel so good..."
The sounds that caitlyn makes and the way she squeezes her fingers deliciously leave you satisfied, cait closes her legs around the youngest's head, while squeezing and scratching Vi's thighs, moaning almost pornographically when you changes the back and forth movements and chooses the 'come here', massaging the G-spot repeatedly.
Caitlyn's breath catches in her throat, her body tense and quivering. She can feel the pleasure building, the combination of your touch and Vi's presence making it almost impossible to think.
She grips the sheets tightly, her knuckles turning white as you switch to massaging her sweet spot. The sensation is almost overwhelming, and she can feel herself right on the edge of release.
Between gasps and moans, she whispers urgently, "Please..."
Your touch is driving her to the brink, and she can barely form a coherent thought. The only thing on her mind is the pleasure that's consuming her.
"Don't stop... please... I'm so close," she gasps, her voice rough and strained. She's teetering on the edge, her body tense and quivering. Caitlyn's fingers dig into the Vi's thighs, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps.
You speed up your movements while caressing the older woman's thigh with your free hand. You look up and see Violet massaging the blue girl's breasts firmly, while looking at you between her legs. Just before using one of her hands to turn Cait's face towards her and kiss her lips, the angle is uncomfortable, but the sheriff moans into the pinkette's lips and they separate, panting. Her face was slightly flushed and her eyes shone mischievously. The image as a whole short-circuited your mind, making your own excitement ache between your legs.
"She's not going... isn't she, muffin?" *Violet speaks close to Cait's ear, you feel your face blush, and you speed up the movements with your tongue, before pulling your fingers out and replacing them with your tongue. Cait's thighs tighten around your head, and you find yourself forced to neglect her furiously blushing clitoris in exchange for your consciousness. Although it wouldn't be so bad to die like that, would it?
You take one of Vi's hands and bring it to Cait's clitoris, in a silent request for the older woman to continue the work, while holding the blue girl's thighs.
Vi understands the non-verbal communication instantly, and slowly massages your pleasure center, swirling your fingertips across the soft flesh.
Caitlyn's body arches at the dual sensations, her breath catching in her throat. She lets out a low, guttural moan.
"Oh, god," she gasps, her voice raspy and strained. "I can't... I can't..."
She's teetering on the edge, her body taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at any moment. The pleasure is overwhelming, and she clings to the sheets. She feels as though she's on the verge of breaking apart, every nerve in her body alive with sensation. It's too much, and yet, somehow, not enough. She needs more, but doesn't know how to ask for it. All she can do is gasp and moan, her body trembling.
your tongue caresses the sheriff's inner walls, drinking the excitement that wet her chin, you squeeze cait's thighs, going as deep as you can.
Caitlyn's body bucks against your touch, her senses on fire. She can feel her orgasm building, a wave of pleasure ready to crash over her. The way you're pushing and pulling her nerves is overwhelming, and the combination of sensations is almost too much to bear. She digs her nails into the pinkette's thighs hard, eliciting a low grunt from Vi., her breath coming in ragged gasps. Her head falls back against Violet, who continues to touch her body.
The feeling of Vi's touch combined with your mouth is pushing Caitlyn beyond the limits of pleasure. She's on the edge, tense and on the verge of collapsing.
Her whole body is shaking, the pleasure so intense it makes her dizzy. It's too much, but at the same time, not enough. until it is.
You feel her pussy squeezing your tongue like her life depends on it, right before the sheriff lets out the most pornographically relieved moan you've ever heard, accompanied by the trembling in her thighs. . It seems like the job was making her a little too tense.
Caitlyn is lost in the moment, consumed by the intense pleasure coursing through her body. The feeling of you practically drinking from her, along with her hands roaming and squeezing her body is enough to push her off the cliff.
When Caitlyn starts to shake too much, Violet removes her hand, leaving a gentle kiss on Cait's cheek. You sigh, licking what's left of Caitlyn's orgasm, the space between your own thighs, sticky and sore.
Seeing the look on your face, Vi can't help but smile. She leans over looking over cait's shoulder , her voice low and sultry.
"looks like someone here is having fun" making cait look down at you.
You look up, seeing both women with their eyes on you, a smile appears on your lips before you suck on your two sticky fingers and run your tongue over your lips slowly "you know me, there's nothing about this that I don't do with pleasure" your voice hoarse with excitement.
Vi and Cait are both watching you intently, their expressions filled with desire and admiration. The way you look up at them, your tongue running over your red lips, your flushed face and disheveled hair, is enough to make them weak in the knees.
Vi lets out a low, appreciative whistle. "You're going to be the death of us, you know that?"
Cait can only nod in agreement, her voice caught somewhere between a gasp and a moan. "God, you're amazing."
Your cheeks heat up slightly, something about how they both look at you now.
You smiles slightly red "sycophants" she leans on Cait's thighs getting up. They both continue to look at you with admiration and desire.
Caitlyn's voice is a little shaky, still recovering from the intensity of the moment. "You have a way with your tongue, that's for sure."
You smile "Practice makes perfect"
Caitlyn grins. "Well, you certainly seem to have plenty of practice."
Vi nods in agreement, her voice low and sultry. "And we're more than happy to benefit from it."
Her eyes narrow slightly "oh I see how" the youngest wets her lips and sits cross legged on the bed. Vi and Cait exchange a knowing glance, their smiles growing wider.
Vi moves closer to you, her eyes darkened with desire. She rests her chin on your shoulder, her lips brushing gently against your ear as she speaks.
"Now, I think it's time we return the favor."
Caitlyn kneels in front of you on the bed, her hands tracing your legs, gently pushing your thighs apart.
"oh..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|âď¸|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pt2?
Hii. The art between the girls is not mine, it belongs to sufleh, an artist here on Tumblr. I found it very beautiful. I was nervous to post it, because I've been writing for a while, but I've never really posted anything, but this really inspired me. Thank you. â¤ď¸
#caitvi#caitvi x reader#vi x reader#vi x caitlyn#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane season 2#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn x vi#i love lesbians
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