#i'm still dealing with epic burnout

[chiyoso]

𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

• BEFORE YOU INTERACT. know that you are entering a space made with both great effort, and consistent inconsistency. content creation wise, i value quality over quantity, my mental health over anything else. it's difficult, handling all these things with a declining motivation, and for now, it doesn't seem to have a limit as my motivation continues to plummet. it's abyssal, and it's wicked, cruel. i sympathize wholeheartedly to those suffering from it.

╰► AND AS I FIGHT; against everything negative, i've been less active, less interactive, and etcetera, solely because of this unwanted stress. so, if you still plan on sticking around, and i mean this from the bottom of my heart, thank you. for you, your time, and your loving support. i can't thank you enough, truly. it means the world and beyond to me.

╰► I DON'T MIND INTERACTING WITH ALL AGES WITH THE EXCEPTION OF; a minor running nsfw blog producing explicit content. with utmost strictness and big sisterly love, please, refrain from interacting for our safety.

• DO NOT INTERACT IF; you become weak to mentions of blood, heavy descriptions of fighting, injuries, murder, war, death, mental health, sensitive and heavy topics, relationship triggers, traumatic events, suicide, age gaps, cheating, vulgarity, and many more dark themes — all of these fall under the category of dead dove: do not eat.

╰► I DON'T WANT INTERACTIONS KNOWING; these categories will make you upset or uncomfortable, i'm thinking of your physical and mental health over here, and i don't want to deal with anything related to complaining unless it's for a solid and valid reasoning.

• MUTUALS. becoming mutuals with me is a double edged sword. if you become a mutual, it's a miracle - for me, cause i don't expect my struggling, introverted ass to make friends n' connections and actually have the energy to maintain them cause of how easily burnout and exhaustion hits me, but, do know that i love and appreciate you all genuinely.

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

• THE MANY FANDOMS I'M IN; jujutsu kaisen, genshin impact, undead unluck, honkai star rail, honkai impact 3rd, frieren, wuthering waves, demon slayer, tokyo revengers, windbreaker, AOT, welcome to the ballroom, haikyuu, mystic messenger, obey me, love & deepspace, the ssum, epic seven, zenless zen zero, LoL, valorant, and more weeb things. / ··· tba.

• CHARACTERS I WILL WRITE FOR; gojo satoru, geto suguru, scaramouche/wanderer, alhaitham, lyney, neuvillette, fushiguro toji, fushiguro megumi, kento nanami, ryomen sukuna, muzan kibutsuji, shinzugawa sanemi, rengoku kyojuro, rengoku shinjuro, ken ryuuguuji (draken), hanma shuji, blade, jing yuan, welt yang, nanook, lan, argenti, gepard landau, luka, dr. veritas ratio, jiaoqiu, moze, sunday. / ··· tba.

• GENRES/TAGS I'LL WRITE; nsfw, sensitive and heavy topics, female reader, breeding, degrading, cum kinks, praise, fluff, angst, depression, comfort, no comfort, headcannons, thirsts, drabbles, submissive, dominant, hate sex, somnophillia, non-con, overstimulation, public fucking, masturbation, age gap (21+ reader obv), violence (for plot), aphrodisiacs, possessiveness, obsessive tendencies, fighting, realistic, modern au, smau, death, trauma, crossovers, dumbification, husband/wife, older characters, minority (only purely platonic), dark content, pregnancy, cheating, mental health, personal letters, song recommended fics, and more things that fall into the warning category of dead dove.

• I WON'T EVER WRITE; anything i'm uncomfortable with.

╰► TO AVOID CONFLICT; in regards to not writing for the opposite sex or the transgender pov, i simply cannot. i'm inexperienced in that field, and even i struggle a lot when writing the female pov as well. understand that i am not able to because i am female myself, and even if i do take the route to research, i'm still bound to get things wrong on some to most aspects with how nitpicky others are.

𝐐&𝐀𝐬.

• AGED UP CHARACTERS?

tempting. for some characters. as for characters like yanqing, or literally any minor, i'm not one to age up ones that are canonically young until said to be older, with that established, i will only be writing platonicallg for characters like him.

• DO YOU WRITE—?

yes. most likely. seek genres/tags i'll write section again.

• ARE THESE REALLY YOUR EDITS?

mmhm, all of the media, dividers, banners and layouts shown in my blog are all from me and edited by me. please don't copy what took ages for me to finally settle on, thank you. besides, every edit (except for dividers) has a well hidden watermark and cleverly placed.

• REQUESTS/COMMISSIONS?

i'm not in the right mental state to fulfill requests quickly in contrast to other writers, but, do feel free to pitch in ideas and, i'm actually considering comms for my editing work, but let me know if you wanna support me that way.

• WHY'RE YOU SO SLOW AT POSTING/ANSWERS?

quickly declining loss of motivation, neverending burnout, pent-up stress and bottled up feelings, unresolved and non-salvageable conflicts, self-rehabilitation, lack of self dicipline, inconsistent and unhealthy sleep schedule, more irl problems, adulthood, escapism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, trying to focus on emotional and physical wellness, seeking out irl hobbies, and more personal things.

╰► BUT DESPITE OF IT ALL; at least, i am living proof, that no matter the situation, resistance and endurance only continues to build through time, and i will strive to be someone's anchor out there, someone's hope, that giving up, is out of the question, expressed through my stories. so, if it inconveniences you, that i'm not as quick, or as consistent, or interactive like other writers you know and love, by all means, free yourself from me. let's not make it harder than it is.

thank you for reading.

[reviewsclown]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi 2017

I guess instead of making a starkiller 2, because it's poetry with the original prequel, they just got a really really big star destroyer to win every battle, called a dreadnought. also General Hux, brand new character, very orange hair he looks kind of gross, in a rare win for quips Poe Dameron epically owns Hux by pretending he can't hear him, I thought that was actually pretty funny. This first fight scene is very confusing because they introduce new bombers instead of Y-wings and they're both worse and uglier, also somehow they 'drop' the bombs down from the ship onto the target, but their in space? the bomb hold also just isn't seperate from the cockpit, the entire ship opens up to space, and the bombers don't even wear a space suit they're just exposed to open space! What the fuck! Also they replaced Bacta tanks with weird plastic suits that are full of water so you can like, save space and still move around and stuff, pretty lame decision. Anyways, depressed burnout Luke Skywalker is pretty cool, it makes sense he had his big revolution and then pretty immediately it fell, I'd want to give up because of that too, also when he's training Rey in the force there's some really good jokes there. also also, those students that left with Kylo Ren when he betrayed Luke for fun, presumably those are the 'knights of ren' that were mentioned once by snopes? The fact that luke would attack a child because they powerful in the force, thus creating Kylo Ren to enact the plot of the sequel trilogy, it's just so stupid man, why do this, you think he would idk, try to make him less evil instead of giving in to instinctual anger. Turns out there was actually a bigger star destroyer than the star dreadnought, and it's the real super weapon, and its special ability is to track though hyperdrive which wasn't possible before apparently? it's not really discussed, but obviously that's a huge threat, also Leia has the force now and this wasn't foreshadowed in any way at all, and she uses it to survive in space(!) and magically float back to the ship she got exploded out of (!!) it's such bullshit, everyone thinks she should be dead and they're right to do so.

Rose is a neat character, I don't think she's used well for anything at all, but her and Finn bonding and making a plan to save the day through janitor knowledge was pretty fun, wasn't expecting that kind of callback honestly. I guess they're doing some kind of heist movie now, and they need to find a code breaker on a casino planet because this is a heist movie now. Ok, an entirely heist movie star wars could be pretty good, but this isn't that and instead it's just dabbling in it for some reason, so it's kind of lame and stupid. I'm not sure what the deal with codebreaker is meant to be, obviously he does drugs and is competent, is he meant to be a 90s hacker type guy? They do a twist where the drug addict gives the necklace back to the girl, so maybe he's good actually? but then it turns out he betrays them so maybe the drug addict is evil actually? and also basically that entire plot line was super duper pointless and they went to the casino planet for nothing. The casino planet is obviously commentary on capitalism bad, but they make it so all the rich guys are arms dealers to evil people, not y'know, regular rich people that would visit a hedonism planet, they have slaves but they get left behind because these movie are firmly anti-'taking a stance on slavery', they released some animals and destroyed some cars and shit, all extremely recoverable losses, and act like they really owned the rich, stuck it to them in some meaningful way. Incredibly lukewarm take. Kylo betraying Snoke by doing 2 things at once so he misreads the action was pretty cool, not the most deserved of betrayals I feel like they could've built it up better, but at least they did it in a cool way. Also why do all the red guards have special unique weapons, they're all different presumably because they're like, minibosses. hyperlight famously doesn't go through things in physical space, it's a step above or below space that they travel through, it makes no sense it'd cut through snopes personal ship. All that being said, it did look pretty awesome. Phasma's death was lame and pathetic, she should've been a better character. Rose's death was also lame as hell nice job sacrificing yourself to stop someone else from sacrificing themself so that nothing is achieved, and also I guess there was meant to be romance between her and Finn? that's stupid too

Really impressive CGI in this movie it must be said, if it has anything going for it it's that. Apparently a lot of the concerns about stupid decisions for in-universe tech come from the fact that they got an entirely new writer for this movie, who doesn't care about star wars at all. But there's still good looking star wars robots, and there's the red salt planet which is famously really awesome graphically. Good music too but it's a bit hard to mess up star wars music, it's not your average generic movie score, it's generic star wars score.

Final Review: Yeah that was an ok movie, kinda bad but it was ok, its watchable, if you want to watch it and liked the first one.

[sasoris]

I misunderstood how calling in sick works at my job (i work in elderly care) so I called in this morning when I was at the bus stop and was like "Im healthy again so im coming to work today ^_^" and my boss was like queen you shouldve called yesterday and let me know, I already have a substitute for u cuz i thought u were still sick which is like. OF COURSE....:) I actually started suspecting I had fucked up before I called so I was fucking sweating... and it was literally no big deal she was like ok well see u tomorrow if someone else is sick ill call u so u can come in!! like i have the most chill ass boss of all time she is VERY NICE but still. I feel like this is the most royal fuck up and that im cringe fail epic style and that she now finds me completely incapable....... can someone book me 10000 therapy sessions for this i know its no biggie but the way shit like this gnaws at me and makes me feel like I'll never be able to "handle a job" even though I deep inside know im really good at my job and the people I care for at work tell me alot how much they appreciate me.. Like it feels so unsustainable I feel like I'm literally set up to get a burnout after like maximum one year of working :--D pleaaaazzzz how does one get more confidence in working!!!!! also final thing but we have a really aggressive man who I've been to ONCE and it literally im not joking XD lowkey traumatized me(I talked to my mom who works at a union about this and she was like 'u have to report this to ur boss it literally couldve given u trauma' and I didnt dare tell her that yes probably .. :D) and I just?? CANT go to him again.. I got scheduled on him once more and I talked to my boss and was like please i literally cant handle it and she was so chill and was like "oh yes i get it I'll schedule him on someone else" but everyone else is just like "yeah him omg!! he yelled at me alot yesterday hes so rude lol" and I just dont get how they can brush it offfff and keep going to himmmm I feel so weak but I literally almost had a panic attack when I got scheduled on him again and thought I would have to go to him.... :---/ how does one build up work armor and feel strong and confident at work lord help meh

[ursulanoodles]

Just an update for y'all. Is anyone still reading this? Lol. No matter, here's an update anyway.

I have extended my fic vacation. Currently dealing with a POTS flare and AuDHD burnout, and didn't realize how badly I needed a break from posting. It's so unnecessarily stressful.

I'm making some decent progress with writing new stuff, but it's still slow going, and I'm trying to re-read and make sure I tie up all of my loose ends. Ending an epic long fic is NOT EASY. I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm not a professional writer by any means.

That, and I'll be honest in saying that I'm experiencing somewhat of a fandom burnout, which I 1000% attribute to Tumblr and overexposure. I know I should take a wee break from Tumblr as well, but we'll see.

Affliction, Bliss, and A Second First Kiss

Chapter 100: Before Dawn

Joja Corp moves in on the valley, leaving Pelican Town shaken and reeling.

I can’t even believe I’m posting chapter 100 tonight �� Affliction turned two this week AND I’m officially sitting above 700k words posted. Holy fuck.

PS: I am taking a WELL-deserved break from posting to finish this story. See ya in September. 🥰

UPDATE: I was originally planning to come back on Thursday, Sept 5th. However, I have decided to extend my break to Thursday, September 26th

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!! All these writing questions are making me wonder, do you have any other fandoms you'd write fic for right now?

I came across your stuff thanks to Pasiflora and I'm currently making my way through Eversion after having read Stuck on the Puzzle and Beast. Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us, it's making this horrible year a lot better for me and many others 🧡

It’s funny, I’m feeling really quiet on the fanfiction front.

I think it’s partly because Falling Falling Stars *feels* like fanfiction to me, so it’s sort of feeding that need. I’m sure as soon as FFS is finished, I will launch back into fanfiction, but right now FFS is like...the thing that feels like it lmao.

I’m also not really deeply in any fandoms right now. I’m sort of like, floating around watching anime and shows I like, but nothing’s really grabbing me. I wanted to write for like Sk8 and Jujutsu Kaisen for five seconds, but that floated away as soon as the series ended. I’d like to finish my one or two shot for Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu, but I don’t have the spare time right now. I’ve contemplated that though.

I usually need like a ‘hooky fic’ (i.e. to play hooky on) while I’m writing something more serious and that takes a lot of labour, but I’m currently in a giant hiatus from my Serious Story (The Ice Plague) and Falling Falling Stars is my hooky fic (you can tell because I can write chapters very quickly for it - well, okay, quickly by my standards anyway).

*thinks*

Yeah I‘m feeling kind of nonplussed about fandoms right now. I was really kind of...burnt out by the MXTX Untamed crowd, or at least like two or three BNFs in that crowd, and it made me want to step back from fandom a lot. And that was hard, because I had like 4 pretty serious fic ideas that I wanted to write, and just felt like...all of them died because of the fandom experiences I had.

I actually read a great Adoribull fic the other day that got me thinking about Bull and Cullen again, so I do think when DA4 comes out, I might get sucked back into that fandom.

But yeah I tentatively think I won’t feel like writing fic until after FFS, and then I will probably look for something to write for. But I don’t feel like I had to stall on anything I really needed to write re: fanfiction, since the perfect spot for me is writing fanfiction-style/feel original stories, and FFS is giving me those vibes lmao.

I’ll definitely write fanfic again though, knowing me, probably for some niche rarepair or something, lmao.

I’m so glad you’re enjoying the writing, anon <3333 And yeah this year has been rough too, hasn’t it? It’s - for so many people - not getting any easier. I hope you’re taking care.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

I'm so excited to have @tackytigerfic join me in the library today! I greatly admire not only their own incredible writing, but also the way that they cultivate and promote such a positive fandom space. I often find new and exciting fics and art from their blog and I just knew they'd be an amazing guest reccer. Not to brag on myself, but I was right! I loved the fic Tacky picked, and I think you will too!

I do want to give a heads up that this week's fic deals with heavier themes such as incarceration. The tags tell you at the beginning that in this fic Draco is incarcerated, and Harry is in auror training. This fic is also rated Explicit. Draco is a willing participant in making this fic explicit, but if the gray area of consent in a rehabilitation center might squick you, then this fic might not be your cup of tea.

That said, I now get the immense pleasure of welcoming Tacky to give their rec!

I’ve long been a fan of the Drarry Librarian, so it’s a real pleasure to be here today, taking part in the wonderful weekly fandom tradition of Happy Hour!

The Librarian has introduced me to so many new creations through their thoughtfully compiled rec lists, and I’ve always loved their Friends of the Library series. For me, fandom is first and foremost a community endeavour, and I love how the Librarian focuses on building and supporting that community.

I’m so excited to get the chance to contribute to this generous and encouraging fandom space.

I first came across Elaine’s writing through her delicious microficmay work jesus, etc featuring a starkly poetic series of linked fifty-word microfics. It’s a tense, steamy, lush fic featuring Charlie x Draco x Harry, and this snippet was the first piece I read (as you can see, these little micros often work brilliantly as compelling little standalones). 

I was then absolutely blown away by a licence to kill. This is still a WIP with one chapter of two completed, but even that one chapter had me gulping it down and holding my reading bowl up begging for more. It’s such an enchantingly funny premise (hitwizard Draco whose struggle to get his kill licence renewed made me actually, genuinely laugh out loud), with a cracker of a summary that had me rubbing my hands together in glee: Draco Malfoy has a licence to kill. Unfortunately, it expired last Tuesday. OR: how Draco Malfoy learned to stop worrying and love form AK-86-G. 

But despite the fact that I could rave about everything I’ve read by Elaine, the fic I’m here to recommend for Happy Hour is any day now. This is a 16k fic piece of political angst set in a Ministry-run “rehabilitation” centre for former Death Eaters. I am not sure how Elaine makes 16k fly past in one breathless rush, yet still creates something that feels epic in scale; whatever it is, it’s magical.

This fic was first recced to me by not one but two friends with superb taste — @corvuscrowned and @sweet-s0rr0w, who both told me I HAD to read it — but I was experiencing some Drarry burnout that meant I had been struggling with reader’s block. What I really needed was a fic that grabbed me by the throat from the very first line; a fic that brought me on a journey so intense and emotional that I couldn’t tear myself away; a fic so inventive and vivid with world-building that it made me gasp with admiration; a fic with such richly-developed, realistically flawed, truly lovable characters that made me root for them desperately. I got all this and more from any day now — it reminded me so forcefully of why I’m here in fandom, and how much I love this ship. 

This is really a Draco fic — and he’s a brilliant, beautiful Draco, perfectly imperfect, very human, a bit of a dick in the best possible way. We pity him but also really, really want him to be okay. We recognise his flaws, while also seeing the best parts of him even as he struggles. The character development is really topnotch. It hit me right in my soft spots in a way that authors like @astolat and @letteredlettered also do — it’s a very incisive and moving Draco arc. Elaine is very, very funny, but there’s a thread of real sharpness and poignancy under the humour. This, combined with the exuberance and pace of the writing, makes her fics simply unputdownable for me.

Yes, both Harry and Draco are morally grey. Yes, the ending is ambiguous. Yes, this fic deals with trauma and grief and loss and hopelessness and regret. But it also has a lightness and a zest to it that makes a grim subject feel very moving. It takes such skill to write the prosaic rhythms of a life of incarceration, and the smallness of the world behind bars, and make them feel huge and searching. There is a lot of really intense world-building and plotty detail here—political machinations! Undercover spying! Superhot smut! Feelings puppets!—but for me the most magical thing is how Elaine brings beauty and tenderness to the grubby, tedious realities of daily life, and makes the reader fall in love with these two hurt, hurtful, damaged boys. 

I loved this fic, and I hope you do too.

Read all the HP works by oknowiss here on AO3.

any day now by @oknowkiss (16,958 words, rated E)

Draco supposes he should be grateful. 

The rehabilitation centres were the Minister’s idea, or that’s what the Prophet said anyway. Their stated objective is simple: to provide a safe space for low-tier Death Eaters and high-tier sympathisers to reconsider the entirety of their life choices. All guests–because no one is a prisoner here, the literature brags–are to be provided with shelter, food, clothing, and the guided support of a Mind Healer via a programme they call “ideological restructuring,” which is, of course, mandatory. 

As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment!

❤️ Lots of Love and Happy Reading! ❤️

[thusatlas]

Hi there :) I just started came across your fic and I'm hooked 😍 it's probably been said on here before but could you tell me when you update and how long it will end up being by chance ? Can't wait for the next drop!

Hellooo! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! Yes, it has but it’s buried down deep in the posts, I should probably make a FAQ. 

To your first question: when do I update? 

I don’t have an update schedule. First and foremost, I am a neurotic, chaotic, caffeinated raccoon who is deeply allergic to organisation and deadlines. If I do give myself a deadline, I promise you, I will leave it till the last minute and it’ll be all rushed and shit. It’s definitely a thing that I know probably isn’t good, but again, fixing this trait requires organisational skills that will cause me to break out in hives - and no one wants that.

So there’s usually an update at least once a month - sometimes twice if the mood really gets me. 

That being said, I’m taking a mini hiatus from The Fuckening for a couple of weeks. It struck me as I posted 18, that I’ve written 201K words in 5 months and we’re about to dive into the final act. So, to save myself from fic burnout, I’m taking a moment to think of lighter things. I’ll still be posting: there’s the horror one-shot, a romcom and a Heads Eighth year au lined up, and any other one-shot that takes my fancy in the meantime. I think I’ll get back to writing the Fuckening probs around my birthday, mid-late March. And then it’s full steam ahead for the ending!

Your second question: how long will it end up being? 

In short - no idea. 

Part 1 has another, at most 7 chapters, minimum 4 chapters to go. If you go by the average word count, that’s probably at most, another 140k. 

Part 2 will be another epic length. The overarching storyline will not be concluded in part 1 so that will be the focus of part 2, as well as dealing with the fallout of part 1′s conclusion. Expect another 300k epic. 

In the meantime, I’m happy to answer any questions (if they’re not spoilers) and if they are, at least try to find some way to give you something!