#i'm sorry it's just a silly long career

[batsplat]

hello!! i hope you're having an amazing day 🥹💗 do you have any vale's races masterpost?? thank you so much in advance!!

*takes deep breath* *cracks knuckles* *cracks knuckles again for good measure* *rolls up sleeves* *cracks knuckles one more time* yes of course anon. no problem. let's do this

going to forgo any extended intro as this post will be long enough as it is - though it wasn't always easy to both represent the scope of valentino's career and make picks based on actual race quality. there will be a skew towards the early years of his time in the premier class and there are a few obvious fallow spells, but I hope I've adequately done justice to most of his very, very long career... and used the asterisk system to do my quality control for me

speaking of - another rec post, another escalation of the asterisk system (luckily, we have reached the final boss of motogp and it is impossible to escalate beyond this - here are the casey and marc/dovi lists). * means check it out, ** personal fave, *** classic, **** if you watch nothing else please watch these

I also need to mention mat oxley's 'valentino rossi: all his races', which is an excellent reference book that I consulted a fair bit when compiling this list. it's especially invaluable in making sense of the early years - where the archives unfortunately are sorely lacking and I'm grateful for every bit of additional context I can get. about those early years, a little bit of housekeeping with the codes I'll use to indicate in which form these races are available:

ITA: only italian commentary, which means I've found them on youtube. this is relevant only for the very early races. there's upsettingly few of his 125cc and especially 250cc races available even when you include these (though I haven't included all the ones that are available)

HL: only highlights, which is specifically about some of the 2000-01 races. there's only three full races of valentino's first premier class title available in their entirety on the motogp website, which is unfortunate (technically four including valencia, but who would want to watch that). now, the highlights they provide for all the other races aren't actually bad - they're around twenty minutes long for the race themselves so you will see most of the exciting action and the overtakes and all that (though it does raise the question of 'why don't you just upload the full races')

NC: no commentary, and is mainly an issue for the 2002 races that are all uploaded in their entirety but... well, only a few with commentary. obviously not ideal especially with older races. my recommendation would be watching the very short highlights (aka 2-3 minutes of actual race footage with commentary) available on the website for each of the 2002 races - either after or even before watching the race - to just give yourself a better sense of what you're watching

as ever, the descriptions will frequently provide spoilers for the result. my spoiler-free top ten recommendations are: donington park 2000 suzuka 2001 phillip island 2001 brno 2003 phillip island 2003 welkom 2004 donington park 2005 laguna seca 2008 catalunya 2009 assen 2015

and here, ten more spoiler-free recs because it really is a bloody long career: sachsenring 2003 mugello 2004 phillip island 2004 jerez 2005 sachsenring 2006 sepang 2006 catalunya 2007 motegi 2010 argentina 2015 assen 2017

**brno 1996: I find it very charming when riders have early career races that tell you everything you need to know about them. this is valentino's first grand prix win, achieved from his first pole position. he has an awful start, ends up way down the order, fights his way through, is eventually caught by this 34 year old former world champion who he does not like, fights him for a bit, stalks him and lets him draw them away from the pack in what the commentators consider remarkable confidence and poise from a seventeen year old, loses touch enough with the race leader that it looks like he's surely lost the race before pulling out a crazy last lap with some hard racing™ to overtake that other bloke. after he crosses the finish line he's so excited he almost rides into the wall. deeply excessive celebratory fist pumping that just goes on and on and on. angelic smile on the podium as the bloke he's beaten looks rather peeved - and apparently complained about valentino's riding afterwards. what more is there to say, really

^driving his elders to drink. here's a video where valentino is talking about the race: "and from there a fight to the death came out because we didn't get along very well. we weren't very nice to each other because we were bothering each other throughout the championship". like I said, tells you everything you need to know about him. just watch this one and call it a day

nurbuergring 1997 (ITA): an early strong wet weather performance, at a time when he was still a bit of a wimp about the whole riding in the rain thing. granted, he was a little lucky when the runaway race leader had a mechanical dnf, but he got into a nice little scrap with a few other riders to claim his fourth consecutive victory

rio 1997 (ITA): the thing about 125cc/moto3 races is you kinda know what you're getting, and more often than not what you're getting is a fun time watching them go at it. valentino's first, he's third, he's first again, they're having it out... and then on the final lap, he's taking advantage of the backmarkers to secure the victory. which is so sneaky and so valentino that it obviously deserves to be mentioned here. incidentally, his last ever win at assen 2017 had a controversial involvement of a backmarker on the last lap, which is a nice little full circle moment twenty years later

brno 1997: in many ways, this was a more impressive ride from his title rival ueda, who came back from thirteenth on the grid to take the win. which meant that valentino had to finish on the podium to claim his 125cc title at the same venue where he won his first race... and he just about managed it, with the entire leading group of riders headed into the final corner together

there are race highlights in the 5-10 minute range from his 250cc race years which... well. since they're not anywhere close to full races and this is a race recs list, I can't exactly give them their own bullet points, but I'll just rattle through a few highlight videos here I enjoyed from 1998: jerez (features a nifty overtake with four blokes entering one corner together, also harada fucked with valentino despite being a lap down to help capirossi win?? anyway vale's first 250cc podium, to which harada showed up to clap for capirossi specifically???); mugello (featuring his controversial beachwear celebration); paul ricard (see below); catalunya (he spent a lot of that year crashing but towards the end of the season finally figured it out - works his way back from thirteenth place to win), argentina (controversial title decider claxon; valentino found the whole thing so "hilarious" he was giggling when the drama was going off in the garage. he also referenced the jerez incident in his post-race interview, because of course he did)

^the three protagonists of the 1998 250cc season: valentino, harada and capirossi, all part of the same nightmarish aprilia 'super team'. everything I've read about that season makes me want to break into dorna hq and get my hands on the full race footage. both images are from the paul ricard race, in which valentino was trying to figure out how to stop harada from continuously outsmarting him. they kept slowing down the pace further and further, with harada running his bike comically wide to let valentino through and valentino doing a massive wheelie down the straight (image on the right) to force harada to go back past - but harada still eventually managed to best him on the final lap. valentino was heavily criticised in the press for wanting to 'humiliate' capirossi by letting capirossi catch up to the pair, but really he was just getting creative in his tactics. I may not have been able to 'watch' this season but I love it dearly

donington park 1999 (ITA): the ONE 250cc race I've been able to watch in its entirety. it was stopped and restarted due to the weather and the final outcome was decided on aggregate time across the two races (yeah, this does feel weird but they used to do that). a close fight especially in the first part. not too wet, presumably, given his 250cc performances in the soaking wet were often. hm. not great

1999 highlights I enjoyed: catalunya (was riding with a suspension glitch but kept his main title rival ukawa behind him anyway); sachsenring (won an intense battle with capirossi, admittedly you do not see much of him in the highlights); brno (another intense fight, this time mainly with an older rider in waldmann after they both worked their way through the field); phillip island (worked his way to the win from seventh on the grid and one of those phillip island races)

jerez 2000 (HL): valentino's initiation to the premier class wasn't... the most dignified thing you'll ever see... two dnf's in the first two races by which point he was so bloody terrified of the bike he was just very slow in the third. in his defence, those 500cc bikes were pretty scary, but also it was time to get his act together. which he did in jerez! this was another one of those weird ones where the rain interrupted the race and then the whole thing was decided on aggregate time, but a good ride to bag his first premier class podium

**donington park 2000: maybe it was the bikes, maybe it was experience, maybe it was a mindset thing, but eventually he would get over his moral objections to 'getting wet' and develop into an excellent wet weather racer in the premier class. this was his first premier class win - and a pretty neat way to seal it too. had an awful start, took a while to figure out the grip conditions, and then he was off. the second half of the race involved a fun fight between valentino and both roberts jr and mcwilliams for the victory

^almost gave the commentators a heart attack by running a defensive line through the final corner that took him completely off the dry racing line

rio 2000 (NC/HL - as in, both are available): valentino's second win of the year and his first in the dry, the race after his late charge to a rookie title was scuppered by a crash in valencia. he made some adjustments to his riding style after the valencia fiasco and really started to get to grips with the 500cc, which would stand him in good stead the following year. as is traditional, he makes a truly horrendous start, dropping back from the front row to find himself briefly outside of the top ten. from there, he gets to work. it's confident stuff, getting himself to the lead by about half distance and pulling away from there

**suzuka 2001: the first race of 2001 and a clear statement of intent. as ever, valentino had to work his way through the field... which took him right into the path of max biaggi, a man who had already been his enemy before they started actually racing each other. now, it has to be said, biaggi is a dick here! quite literally elbows valentino while running him off-track and could easily have caused vale to crash (as valentino said afterwards, "I had to learn how to ride motocross-style at 140 mph"), he continues using various body parts rather creatively in defending his position. when valentino finally gets past, he sticks out his middle finger. set the tone for that season rather nicely

jerez 2001: this is the cool-headed, calculating valentino who would prove such a formidable foe over the years. having already won the first two races of the season, he's high on confidence as he engages in a duel with the man who had so captured his imagination as a teenager: norifumi abe. valentino takes his time - but when he finally makes the decisive pass, he pulls clear so easily it feels like valentino may have just been toying with his hero all along

^valentino and norick, the inspiration for 'rossifumi'. in 2008, valentino paid tribute to the other man a year after his passing: "norick for me was a hero. I grew up watching the suzuka 500 race in 1994 with the great battle he had together with schwantz and doohan. last year was a shit year for me when I heard of the death of norick and colin mcrae, for me it was not a great year. I think it is possible to dedicate this championship to norick”

catalunya 2001 (HL): I don't care if there's only highlights - I am not leaving out a race that sparked a fist fight. honestly if I were biaggi I'd be pissed about this race too. valentino was twelfth at the end of the first lap and ended up winning... painful, truly. a really good scrap, plenty of fun to watch as valentino always is at catalunya, and obviously you've also got to watch the presser clips with the knowledge they were throwing hands a few minutes earlier

assen 2001 (HL): this one was low-key kinda stolen from valentino. it's good fun - y'know, one of those assen battles, valentino's doing the stalking and lurking thing and it starts raining and valentino takes the lead and... whoops! time to call off the race due to the rain so let's take the results from the previous lap! biaggi win! imagine getting into a fist fight with someone and losing the very next race to them on a technicality. oof

^post-fist fight handshake to show how it's all fine. they're totally fine. completely fine. no problems here

*donington park 2001 (HL): I'm gonna be so real, if I'm on pole and my title rival starts eleventh and he ends up beating me to the win by 1.8s, I think I just call it a day after that one. valentino had a bad crash during practise where he was lucky to not really hurt himself and then obviously had a pretty terrible qualifying, so a great opportunity for biaggi to claw back some points. worst bit is, vale didn't even make a good start - he was still in eleventh place halfway through the first lap. good fun to watch him pick his way through the field, and in his autobiography he ranks this race near the very top in terms of ones that gave him the most "satisfaction"

****phillip island 2001: look, if you've seen one of those classic multi-rider dogfights at phillip island, then, here, I've got a version of that for you from 2001. it's just so much fun to watch, with so many different riders and rider constellations and run orders at various parts of the race, riders looking like they'll break away and getting caught again etc etc etc. and it is also a match point race for valentino - a relatively comfortable one given his formidable championship lead. he didn't need to win the race to take the title, but would you want to see your greatest enemy take the spoils on your big day? in the most dramatic fashion possible, valentino ends up right behind biaggi on the very last lap and makes a daring overtake for the victory. hard to beat that as a way of sealing your first premier class title

*suzuka 2002: you know how I said in the marc rec post that I found it tricky to pick out a few for 2014 because a lot of the races were good without being all timers? this is valentino's equivalent season - he's winning, life is great-ish, tricky to differentiate, and if you enjoy any of these races you'll probably enjoy them all. mostly I'm just going to include the ones with commentary available, even though I'm too stubborn to let dorna completely make my choices for me here. anyway, this one is available with commentary and it's a good watch... valentino hadn't had the easiest weekend to start off his title defence, crashed badly twice, bloodied his hands, all that. he had a sluggish start in the wet conditions and worked his way up the field, before sitting on the rear tyre of the japanese wildcard akira ryo for a while - who knew the track well and knew where all the puddles were. a smart and composed win and feels very typical of his wet weather performances over the years

jerez 2002 (NC): in my head, this is the sister race to le mans 2014. valentino is pushed down quite a few spots to ninth early on (kenny roberts jr just. shoves him aside and does the thing where he gestures back to apologise, but that doesn't really help valentino when half a dozen bikes have passed him) and then he gets down to business. that whole season really does have that 2014 vibe of 'right this is fun but also feels a little too easy' - but hey, the way valentino picks his way through the field is satisfying to watch. and valentino did always like to play with his food, so he sits behind barros for a fair bit before doing the inevitable

*assen 2002: so, the thing about 2002 is that it was the first year of the rebrand to motogp and the introduction of the four-stroke bikes... but you still had two-stroke bikes on the grid, which tended to be tragically outgunned. the circuits where they were competitive tended to be the ones where they could take advantage of how 'nimble' the old bikes were, with more corners and fewer straights - and honestly, if you go on a race-by-race level you could make the case that on-track barros on his two-stroke machine (for most of the year) was valentino's most important rival that season. this is a head-to-head duel with barros that nicely showcases the respective strengths and weaknesses of two such different bikes and riders riding them, and barros manages to mount a stern challenge to valentino for most of the race

*sachsenring 2002: I do find it a little funny that this is one of the ones with commentary they've provided, because there's a bit of an anti-climax close to the end and I'm not sure valentino should have won that race. anyway, similarly to assen, this is another week where the two-strokes can put up a proper fight, and it's an engaging scrap that involves a lot of riders and quite a few nice little shifts in momentum. like above, another interesting study in how the different bikes compare in direct combat

phillip island 2002 (NC): always fun when someone builds up a bit of a gap on valentino. as was so often the case that year, it was barros (now on a four-stroke) who served as valentino's closest challenger, and valentino took his time hunting him down. from there, it's familiar material from the rossi playbook, stalking and studying before making his move - but barros sticks very very close to valentino until he makes an error on the last lap

^is it a bird is it a plane etc etc... don't think this was supposed to mean anything, just being silly

okay we're now headed into the 2003-05 stretch and I should mention that most of the races in that era will also have been featured in this post, which might also be useful to put them into context

*le mans 2003: valentino tries to make a break for it, but the rain denies him. he raises his hand to get the race called off (you could do this as the race leader back in the day, or I suppose also not do that if you wanted to be an asshole)... and immediately almost falls off his bike so. uh. probably a good idea to get it called off. when the race resumes, it's a three-way tussle between valentino, barros, and new challenger sete gibernau, even if at times it's less tussling and more wobbling. in the last couple of laps, it's down to sete and valentino to have it out in the treacherous conditions - and the last lap is proper dramatic. sete had already gotten one over valentino in welkom... but this defeat, coming after valentino had led the race, must surely have stung even more

*catalunya 2003: I feel a little mean making my first three 2003 picks races valentino all lost in quite painful fashion, but, hey, it's character building and really set up his whole arc for the next season-and-a-half. this one is... well. it's both embarrassing and kinda neat from vale. most of this race consists of a duel with capirossi - and when valentino hits the front, you do think that's going to be it. capirossi keeps close, however, and valentino eventually makes an error, running wide to let him through. shortly afterwards, he makes even a worse mistake and runs off into the gravel. once he's fucked up it's a pretty fun performance, where he starts posting pleasingly insane lap times to recover from sixth back to second

***sachsenring 2003: this race will always be remembered for valentino's penultimate corner overtake followed by his last corner mistake that resulted in sete's unlikely victory, but the race before that is good fun too! valentino looks like he'll make a break for it, and obviously miserably fails in his attempt - this time he's the one to be slowly, slowly, slowly caught by a persistent rival who eventually manages to get the better of him again. after this race, valentino vowed he wouldn't be taking any more prisoners. he didn't

****brno 2003: after a horrifying four race losing streak and the humiliation of sachsenring, valentino came back from the summer break with new determination and hunger and a mission to not let anyone get in his way any more. he does not have an easy time of it at brno, with a classic multi-rider dogfight that features regular and dramatic shake-ups of the riders' fortunes. the finish is incredibly close, and vale could have easily been denied the opportunity to pull out his elaborate victory celebrations: dressing up as a convict to symbolise how he felt imprisoned by his own success. here is a more in-depth post about the race

****phillip island 2003: this starts off in classic phillip island fashion, with a bunch of riders having it out in the early laps. then, valentino takes the lead and makes a break for it, and it looks like the excitement of the rest of the race will be all about the fierce fight for the remaining podium positions... except there's a twist. valentino overtook another rider under yellow flag conditions - and unlike donington that year where he was retroactively slapped with a ten second penalty that denied him the win, this time he is informed of the penalty during the race. this race is about as exhilarating as it is possible for a race to get when you're watching someone riding alone in the front - and you'll be provided with some added spice with the scrap for the last podium place. in the end, valentino crosses the finishing line with an obscene margin of over fifteen seconds

^think I already posted these notes somewhere but I can't NOT mention the commentary for this race. bottom of this post I included the autobiography excerpt about how valentino channelled his fury to win this race - very revealing!

****welkom 2004: still perhaps valentino's favourite victory of them all, and with good reason. his first race with yamaha and one that the entire paddock thought he didn't have a hope of winning... until they hit the track that weekend. valentino led every single session and qualified on pole: he said the pole position felt as good as ten with honda. better yet was still to come, with valentino claiming a victory following a thrilling duel against his old foe biaggi that raged on until the very last lap. such was the pace that third-placed sete was seven seconds down on the top pair at the chequered flag

^valentino stopped at the side of the track after his win, kissing his bike and sitting down for a moment to soak in the moment. he says he was laughing into his helmet: "'and so in the end I was right!' I thought to myself. 'I can't believe it, I screwed them all... what a show!'"

****mugello 2004: this race has so much going on, and all of it is highly enjoyable. valentino might have won the last two races at mugello - but off the back of two fourth places and with mugello's famously terrifying long straight, it felt like surely the more powerful hondas would have the decisive edge. and this one is a hard fight for valentino. it's a hard fight with several riders, it's a hard fight with sete and, following an interruption due to the rain, it's a hard fight in mixed conditions where valentino initially drops back to seventh to figure out the grip levels - before speeding off to the win. all the best types of races rolled into one

***catalunya 2004: right after mugello, it's time to visit sete's home - and here valentino kicks off a bit of a tradition of memorable one-on-one catalunya duels... as well as a habit of beating spaniards at the track. it's hard fought, it's challenging, but again valentino emerges on top

***assen 2004: the third consecutive race that featured an extended duel with sete. initially involving barros too - but he crashes, and it's down to the familiar protagonists. this really works as the last episode of that mini-trilogy because you can tell how badly sete felt he needed to reassert himself in that title fight, and conversely how little interest valentino had in letting him do so. involves a hard last lap overtake that resulted in contact. sete was not best pleased, but valentino had secured the win and the championship lead

^left: catalunya, where valentino dons the doctor's garb to perform a series of 'medical checks' on his yamaha, feat. stethoscope and thermometer, before declaring it fit for duty. right: assen, where yamaha staff dress up as doctors to pay tribute to him

qatar 2004: a good old-fashioned hubris ride. valentino was slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty for some midnight grid cleaning shenanigans and is furious about this. he gets quite possibly the best start of his career and is eighth after a few corners, continues charging and barging his way through the field... before crashing and mashing up his finger and reopening that year's championship fight. the race does get a little dull after valentino does his thing - here are the ten most relevant minutes of footage as well as some more details about the penalty and the race. the weekend that irrevocably damaged his relationship with sete

***phillip island 2004: an underrated spite ride. if you're in the penultimate race of the season and you know a second place is enough to clinch the title and you're over a second behind your title rival and you historically suck at the circuit where title deciders are held, the sensible thing to do is just ride home in second place when it becomes clear the third-placed guy is not catching up. obviously, valentino does not do this, not least because he is determined to stop sete from ever winning a race again. this goes down to the very last lap and it is either a very cool or a very dumb way to seal a title, depending on how you look at it

****jerez 2005: both protagonists make very little secret from the start of the race of just how much they want to beat each other: this is war. and it's a war in which sete has the upper hand for most of the way through (as much as you can really feel you have the 'upper hand' with valentino sitting on your rear tyre) - until valentino makes his move with three laps to go. it takes an error from valentino on the last lap to set up the dramatic and controversial finale, with the infamous valentino block pass that sent his bike careening into sete's. the actions of a man who had decided neither of them finishing the race was a more acceptable outcome than his enemy taking the win, and the relationship between the two riders manages to improbably deteriorate still further

^satisfied with a good day's work as the furious spaniards jeer. if anyone had any lingering doubts about valentino's trademark ruthlessness, they were dispelled that day

**mugello 2005: another year, another thrilling mugello battle. it's looking increasingly clear that this will be a one-rider title fight, but luckily that isn't impacting the race quality (think marc's 2019, where he was incidentally the same age as valentino is here). similarly to the year before, there's cause for concern whenever you're fighting more powerful bikes at mugello, but after a dramatic multi-rider fight valentino is not to be denied

**catalunya 2005: back on sete soil and oh god how much he would have loved to win this race. it's the tension and hatred and desperation that makes these races so exciting to watch - though sete is hardly helped out in his mission of revenge by teammate marco melandri who keeps sabotaging sete's attempts to defy valentino's curse. but melandri has whatever the opposite of main character energy is and the race ends up being another valentino/sete duel. some excellent riding by the pair of them, valentino is particularly fearsome on the brakes that day, and sete has truly taken his gloves off when fighting valentino. but of course, valentino denies sete once again and makes a break for it shortly before the end

****donington park 2005: the defining wet weather ride of valentino's career - even though it got off to a shaky start (literally) and continued to be pretty shaky most of the way. this race was held in truly appalling conditions that they probably would not race in these days, and it's reflected in the number of dnf's - one of which was courtesy of poor sete gibernau once again crashing out of the lead. for most of the way, valentino is wobbling his way into the lead and wobbling his way out of it again... but after some big scares and some time spent nicely sheltering behind other riders, he finally figures out the grip conditions - and he's off. it's one of those rides that is just demoralising for everyone else in how good it is, with valentino pulling insultingly far clear from the other riders with insulting ease

^valentino plays a violin after crossing the finish line. teammate edwards: "I looked at his data and it was scary. he was locking the front in the rain on a shitty track that was slicker than snot, at every corner. this guy's crazy!" not pictured - valentino hugging himself and shivering while parking the bike... and being provided with an anorak and gloves that he only very, very, very reluctantly relinquishes when stepping onto the podium

*le mans 2005: you realise fairly quickly that this one's building to something juicy. colin edwards, valentino's teammate, takes the lead and heads out on his own, as valentino sets off after him - eventually slotting into his favourite position sitting right on the leader's rear tyre. except, he can't afford to hang around - because sete is going faster than both of them and is rapidly catching up. this one really gets going when the inevitable happens and the three of them collide on track, and of course we end up with another sete/valentino duel. cruelly, it's another one where the winner is still not entirely decided when they enter the very final lap... but the curse will not be denied. valentino breaks the circuit record on the last lap

*sachsenring 2005: the problem with watching these races is that even if you would prefer not to know the result going in... well, every single time the race comes down to a duel between sete and valentino post-qatar 2004, however strong sete looks, however confident, however near he is to the victory... you know he's obviously not going to make it. my advice is to really lean into it - the joy/horror of it all is in discovering how it's going to go wrong this time. this race features another lovely duel between valentino and sete, at a track that suits the honda far better than it does the yamaha. valentino leads early on before sete manages to catch up and overtake him. two laps to go and sete is still in the lead as valentino stalks him around... you know how this story goes

*brno 2005: ah, the misery. listen, if you enjoyed the previous sete/valentino duels I listed, then you're going to enjoy this one too. it's the race immediately following sachsenring and it feels like basically they just continued the last one, and boy are they going at it from the very start. sete determinedly sticks with valentino and surely one of these has to go his way... includes a particularly cruel twist on the final lap

qatar 2005: one year on from the race in which valentino put his curse on sete, and it feels like this might be sete's best chance for the remainder of the season to free himself. he gets perilously close to making a break for it ahead of the battling melandri and valentino... but of course, he can never run far enough. another painful defeat (if one caused by melandri more than valentino) and eventually valentino claims victory at the circuit that had caused him such trouble the year before

qatar 2006: valentino's 2006 season got off to a tricky start when toni elias rode into him in the very first corner of the opening race, and his luck didn't get much better from there. still, the year featured plenty of excellent valentino rides - including the second race of the season, where he fought his way through from sixth on the grid. features his first tussle with the rookie pole sitter, one casey stoner, who defends sternly against his future rival. eventually, valentino faces off against nicky hayden in a decent extended scrap that went on for much of the race

***mugello 2006: boy, did valentino get himself involved in some banger races at this circuit during his time. sete tries to escape at the front, and even in a tough year like 2006 valentino will not allow that man a moment's rest. a duel between sete and valentino ensues (featuring melandri and casey), then valentino suddenly drops down to fifth, then the race turns into a three-way encounter between capirossi, hayden, and... still valentino. he emerges from the feisty fray with a much-needed win

***sachsenring 2006: you could copy paste 'much-needed win' any time valentino won this year, and sachsenring is no exception. not traditionally his strongest track, valentino's urgency produced one hell of a race ripe with tension throughout. the yamaha's struggles made for a difficult qualifying and he fought his way through from eleventh on the grid. even when he caught the leaders and passed them, he couldn't just clear off like in times past, dragging three dogged riders along with him - but he just about managed to hold them off for the win

****sepang 2006: one of the best valentino duels, this time featuring one of his oldest rivals in the form of loris capirossi. part of his remarkable late season charge that brought him within kissing distance of the title. the entire race is enjoyable but the final lap is one for the ages, with valentino vicious in both attack and defence

^no hard feelings: capirossi hugs valentino while vale is still on the bike. 2006 is a rare title fight in which valentino genuinely liked most of his major rivals. vale was exhausted after the battle in the gruelling sepang conditions and had a little sit down after hugging his team

phillip island 2006: the first bike swap race and quite frankly the whole thing is a mess. a lot happens and it's classic late season chaos where the championship standings and implications are chopping and changing by the lap. when the dust settles, valentino has snagged third place on the last lap off poor sete gibernau and chips away a little more at hayden's championship lead

***estoril 2006: sure, valentino lost the 2006 title when he crashed at valencia, but he also lost it by .002s in estoril. this race featured a dramatic twist in the title fight when rookie dani pedrosa wiped out his teammate hayden, and suddenly valentino had to consider just how much risk he was willing to take. he had mostly decided to play it safe - but then couldn't help himself and ended up attacking toni elias on the very last lap. if he had managed to bag the extra five points, then even with the valencia crash he would have won the title on countback

valencia 2006: everyone thought valentino would be winning the title again headed into the weekend, and they became even more certain of it when valentino qualified on pole. but in the end, it was not to be. valentino got a poor start and felt something was wrong with the bike (or maybe it was the tyres, if one casey stoner is to be believed), but admits the mistake that left him on the ground was his own. a bitter pill to swallow after a season plagued by misfortunes, though valentino had always gotten on well with title winner nicky hayden and was sincere in his congratulations

****catalunya 2007: from the start of 2007, it was clear that new ducati hire casey stoner would be a problem. with yamaha's struggles continuing into the new 800cc era, ducati had gotten it spot on at the first try... even if it was only casey who could completely tame their troublesome bike. for a while, it seemed easy to dismiss casey's victories as built primarily on the back of the infamous ducati horsepower, but at catalunya casey proved he was far more than just a powerful engine. one of the true classic catalunya duels, with both riders displaying dazzling race craft, and one of casey's finest career victories

***assen 2007: valentino's season wasn't getting any easier - the yamaha was one thing but his continued struggles with the michelin tyres if anything frustrated him even more. he qualified in eleventh place and doesn't get a particularly good start while casey streaks off in the front. casey is over five seconds clear at one stage, but valentino manages to hunt down his title rival anyway. it's studying and stalking and lurking and all the rest of it, and as ever casey doesn't make it easy for him - but eventually valentino manages to pass him and pull clear

*estoril 2007: casey's championship was more or less wrapped up by this point, though valentino was able to deny him just a little longer at the first match point race. this features a nice scrap between casey and valentino, and then an extended duel with dani that is perhaps the best fight the two of them ever had. it was a much-needed win in a rough patch for valentino on- and off-track - and he dedicated it to one of his idols, the rally legend colin mcrae who had just passed away

**catalunya 2008: yes, okay, I know he won the three races before that one - but this one's a more fun race! after an initial adaptation period to his shiny new bridgestone tyres, his season had finally properly kicked off with the aforementioned three race win streak. at catalunya, valentino only qualified in ninth, and pedrosa streaked off in front - but valentino and casey engaged in a highly enjoyable rematch of the previous year's duel. in the end, it was valentino who prevailed, but casey and ducati had clearly gotten their own house in order...

^the version of valentino that marc first met, before vale's race in his special football-themed livery and leathers

****laguna seca 2008: after catalunya, casey stormed on to win the next three races on the trot, typically by ominous margins. heading into laguna seca, a race casey had dominated with ease the year before and valentino had never gone particularly well at, valentino knew casey might be in danger of running away with this championship... and he was determined to do something to finally conduct this rivalry on his terms. nobody expected there would be a contest for the victory, let alone one valentino won - but he did, in a brutal encounter that served as a masterclass in psychological intimidation. the relationship between the two rivals did not emerge unscathed

*indianapolis 2008: another race, another mediocre start, if this time from pole. it sets up a fun (to watch) race in worsening conditions, as valentino takes his time to get comfortable with the grip levels before slowly and surely working his way through the field and stalking first casey then nicky hayden around the track. he makes it to the front before eventually the race has to be called off - and, in a rare moment of unity, valentino and casey are seen briefly talking to ezpeleta together, presumably to tell him they have less than zero interest in going out again in that weather. they get their way and the race is called off, with valentino bagging his fourth consecutive victory - a streak he of course started at laguna. his second and last win on US soil

motegi 2008: the title-sealing race and fifth consecutive win - not the most exciting entry on this list, but earns its place by featuring a bit of a duel between title rivals casey and valentino for the lead (after they both get past dani, casey in a rather rude way that he apologises for with a hand gesture) (not that he gives the position back and valentino immediately swoops through too). motegi had always been one of vale's weakest tracks, and it must have felt extra sweet to clinch the title at the home race of his perennial enemies at honda (as he miserably failed to do in 2005 in a deeply embarrassing performance)

^'scusate il ritardo', or 'sorry for the delay': this title was special given the heartache of the two previous years. all smiles with casey and jorge (who comes to parc fermé to congratulate his teammate)

*sepang 2008: as was sometimes rare in that era, this race involves several good fights going on simultaneously down the order. the fight for the victory ends up coming down to valentino and dani, and it's a nice little duel they put on - plus there's also dovi's dramatic fight for the final podium position to enjoy

jerez 2009: dani and valentino's young teammate jorge lorenzo are the clear pre-race favourites and there's a slight fear one of them will run away with it... but jorge never quite finds his groove and ends up crashing, while dani very much does not run away with it. valentino finds something extra after being absolutely nowhere all weekend, as he had a habit of doing. features valentino shadowing first casey and dani - and a particularly nifty contact-free block pass at the infamous final corner on casey. valentino's first win of a tough season

****catalunya 2009: one of valentino's finest career victories - and another example of his ability to wrest control of a season when he needed to. off the back of two tricky/embarrassing races at le mans/mugello, it felt like the time had come to demonstrate he was a serious contender in that year's championship... as well as assert himself within yamaha over his increasingly troublesome young teammate. the stakes are clear: jorge sorely wanted to win in front of his home crowd and valentino sorely wanted to beat him there. after a strong start, the physically ailing casey falls back, letting jorge and valentino soar off and fight it out as they take turns to tail each other around the track. a duel for the ages and the victory that transforms his fortunes in that season (some more details in this post)

**sachsenring 2009: a few races after catalunya, it was once again jorge and valentino to fight it out for the win - unusual for two yamahas at that track. it's a duel that has been overshadowed by catalunya, but this is another gem: a close and dramatic battle at a time when it felt like jorge was the one who had something to prove. but valentino demonstrates how hard it still is to best him in head-to-head combat, and he ends up beating the number 99 bike by the pleasing margin of .099s (listen I have no evidence for this but in my heart of hearts I 100% believe he noticed and appreciated this fact)

misano 2009: this race followed valentino's massive error in indianapolis, crashing and reopening the championship fight at a time when it looked like he had things perfectly under control. his traditional special home race helmet is dedicated to taking the piss out of himself - featuring a donkey because of how "stupid" he had been. but in misano he was the "flying donkey"... look, it's not the best race you'll ever watch, but after a poor start (surely not), he does do quite a nice job to overtake dani for the lead. in parc fermé, his team dons donkey ears, and he gets his own pair to wear to the podium as he greets his ecstatic fans

**sachsenring 2010: valentino's early season was troubled by a motocross shoulder injury he'd picked up after qatar, and he had to push harder and harder to keep up with an ever-improving jorge. eventually, he pushed too hard and broke his leg in mugello. this was his first race back, returning sooner than anyone had expected (except casey, who thought people were making too big a deal out of the whole thing) - and he immediately was on the pace, to everyone's surprise (not casey's, who thought valentino's main problem was just losing a bit of muscle mass). this race features an excellent duel between casey and valentino in the closing stages for the final podium position, with casey stealing it from valentino at the very last gasp. it was an impressive performance by the pair of them, a heartwarming demonstration of how mediocre bikes and broken legs can be overcome by the power of mutual contempt

***motegi 2010: do you ever feel overcome by the sudden urge to watch someone be an absolute asshole for no good reason? if so, then I have the perfect race for you. jorge is very close to clinching that year's title, and in truth it's a pretty sure-fire thing given dani is out with injury. still, it's generally not considered good form to ride into your teammate at the best of times. valentino continues to struggle with his fucked up shoulder late into the season, but spite will do all kinds of magical things for you. it's a race-long battle for third place between the yamaha teammates, and the last few laps in particular are uh. intense. features valentino dangling out his leg to increasingly comical extents - whether to try and mitigate the shoulder issues or whether to physically block jorge is anyone's guess. jorge basically rides right into the leg more than once. there are at least three separate extremely dubious moves valentino pulls on jorge. you can tell jorge is losing his mind. you can feel the sheer concentrated malice radiating off valentino. when valentino gets off the bike, the mic picks up how he tells the yamaha team that it "was fun". not everyone would agree

^you'd think a season in which valentino had broken his leg might be one where everyone lays off the dramatics a little, but somehow this year was the one in which valentino's relationships with both of his main rivals soured considerably and made the final step from 'rivalry' to 'feud'. there'll always be a slight air of unfinished business to the casey rivalry in particular, but 2010 did end up unwittingly providing us with a few gems. in the motegi qualifying press conference (pictured above), vale talks about how he knows he needs shoulder surgery - but is determined to delay the surgery until the end of the season. it wasn't a good decision for his shoulder

**sepang 2010: the race that immediately follows motegi. valentino doesn't qualify particularly well and starts worse, dropping back to 12th during the first lap as jorge and dovi set out in front. but valentino determinedly sets after them - and when he catches up, they engage in a lovely three-way scrap in the race in which jorge can seal the championship... as long as valentino doesn't knock him off. this doesn't reach the viciousness of motegi, but it still involves three riders who clearly really want to win and also really want to beat each other. his first victory after the broken leg - and his last one for a long time

jerez 2011: thing is, right, if you just ignore the bit where he wipes both himself and casey out and then has to pick the bike up and start again, it's actually a really good ride! can't fault it! did his thing in the wet again! just one little. uh. blot on the copybook. I wouldn't even say the ambition outweighed the talent as much as it was his patience, given he knew it might be the only chance he'd get for a big result for a while on the struggling ducati. it's the kind of misjudgement he makes relatively rarely in his career, and speaks to his frustrations with the continuing shoulder problems as well as the underperforming desmosedici. casey was less than sympathetic

le mans 2011: it's le mans, it's raining, you know how it goes... these conditions were pretty much the only times valentino could manage a decent pace in his ducati years. this one should've gone on the dovi list too actually, not least because jorge executes an extremely rude move on dovi I feel confident in saying dovi did not appreciate (he gets jorge back with a far more polite and civilised move). casey runs off with the win by a fairly obscene margin but behind him there's plenty of talking points - not least the hugely controversial clash between dani and sic that leaves jorge, dovi and valentino fighting for the two remaining podium spots

*le mans 2012: valentino might have expressed mixed feelings over the course of his career about riding in the wet, but it sure did its job during the ducati years as the great big equaliser. now, point of order: in my casey rec list, I described this as 'not a great casey race', which I don't stand by at all. the last casey/vale duel (that also heavily features a vale/dovi/cal crutchlow tussle), with valentino stalking and harassing casey both at the start and the end of the race - though he did exercise some advisable caution... initially. involves a last lap overtake and is valentino's best ducati performance

^the last podium valentino and casey shared, in the race after casey announced his retirement. usually it's a bit easier to tell when a valentino feud is at its worst, and the two of them joked in the press conference about how they were thinking back during the race to their 2011 jerez clash. ducati were in such a miserable place in those two years that in truth, nobody could have done much with that bike - casey certainly could have done more, but by 2010 the bike so awful that valentino outscored casey that season even after fucking up his shoulder and breaking his leg. vale's sole dry podium in the ducati seasons came at an emotional home race in misano the year after sic's passing, though unfortunately it's not a particularly watchable race. there are some other rides in those two years that are strong in isolation, but valentino isn't the star of the show - and really, it'd be a waste of our precious time to talk any more about two years that were a waste of valentino's precious time

qatar 2013: the first race back with yamaha and the first race of a 'qatar trilogy' of sorts, i.e. 2013-15, where valentino just keeps executing extremely watchable races by qualifying poorly/dropping back at the start and then fighting his way through. by the time he catches up with the pack, race winner lorenzo is long gone - but valentino can still have his first fight with the next big thing in motogp, the rookie marc marquez. there's an optimism to this race, the hope of new beginnings in a series that perhaps needed some life breathed back into it... and so did valentino. all three men on the podium have good reason to be delighted, and show it. valentino truly had not known if he could be competitive again after the dark ducati days, and he looks happier here than he has in ages

*assen 2013: his first victory in the post-ducati days and a track at which he had always been strong. partly helped out by jorge's collarbone injury (though assen had always been a bit of a bogey track for jorge), valentino overtook stefan bradl, marc and dani for the win. it's not the most thrilling of races, but is still perfectly enjoyable - and you can tell by valentino's reaction how much it meant to him

qatar 2014: bar a few high points, valentino's 2013 season had been troubled and frustrating as he found himself unable to match the top three in the championship. he decides to make one more big move - this time not by switching teams, but instead by firing his long-time crew chief jb. the start of 2014 is all about seeing if he can become competitive once again... and if he cannot then he will retire. qatar is a promising start, coming back from a poor qualifying to engage in a tightly fought duel with marc that lasts until the penultimate lap

misano 2014: valentino clearly stepped up his game this season, making him decide to continue on racing in motogp in a year in which marc was dominating the competition. race wins, however, remained elusive - but there is nowhere valentino would have rather emerged victorious than his own backyard. the opening stages are a proper fun three-way tussle between valentino, marc and jorge. valentino gets to the front and marc pursues him, so doggedly determined to get the better of valentino that he ends up crashing. the rest of the race isn't all that exciting, but it's notable as the first race in which valentino directly outperformed both marc and jorge when they were fully fit. the ranch visit happens after this race

phillip island 2014: never the most gifted of qualifiers, valentino would continually struggle to get to grips with the new qualifying format introduced in 2013 - and his grid position of eighth was typical of the time. but you can't fault him for his ability to pick his way through the field as he does here, which culminates in his enjoyable duel with jorge for what was then p2. he got lucky with marc's crash out of a sizeable lead, but it was still a good ride to ensure he would be the one to take advantage

***qatar 2015: it takes one corner for the 2015 championship to be blown wide open, when two time defending champion marc marquez goes off and drops to the back of the field. for much of the race, it looks like jorge will be the primary benefactor, battling it out with two revitalised ducatis. valentino starts badly and drops to tenth, but he works his way through the field - and eventually it is he who fights the ducatis for the win. this is actually a really nice marc comeback ride too, even if he never comes into victory contention. it is also a statement victory from valentino. game on

^valentino started the season on a high, daring to hope that the elusive tenth title might finally be his. the optimism would last roughly until they got to europe and jorge hit his stride, after which it was a gruelling defensive campaign to try and cling onto his points lead

**argentina 2015: the thing is, right, qualifying poorly isn't great. starting poorly also isn't great. but if you want to be fighting for titles, you should maybe pick a struggle and stop doing both. valentino's championship bid that year has all these charming races where he's still at the fuck end of nowhere after the first lap before heroically picking his way through the field, which feels needlessly exhausting but there we are. it is, however, exciting to watch how he creeps closer and closer to marc - and he eventually catches up on the penultimate lap. the resulting duel is short but memorable

****assen 2015: a duel that will always be remembered for the controversy surrounding the final chicane, but the whole race is a fantastic watch. valentino needed a result after jorge had won four races on the trot and had led 103 consecutive laps - and he played the weekend perfectly to achieve it. his only pole of the season and, excitingly, actually a good start too... but marc quickly slots in to sit on his rear tyre and it's a fight that continues the entire race. did valentino know what marc had been intending to do at the final chicane, given marc had admitted to repeatedly executing the move during that weekend's practise sessions? or was it just quick thinking that allowed him to read marc's move and realise he only had one counter available? we'll never know for certain - though marc was suspicious of valentino's motives and eagerly made his thoughts on the matter known in the post-race press conference. the beginning of the end

**silverstone 2015: after brno, valentino had surrendered the championship lead for the first time that season on countback and it was obvious he was in serious trouble. silverstone had proven a fairly happy hunting ground for jorge over the years and it looked like he would continue doing his thing that weekend... but then the rain came to the rescue. valentino spends most of the race with fellow wet weather expert marc stalking his every move, until marc goes down and valentino is left managing the gap to a late-charging petrucci. one of the finest wet weather performances of his career - and in several ways jorge got lucky to limit the points damage

^valentino's shadow, until marc pushed it too far and crashed. was marc more determined to beat valentino here than he would have been anyone else? valentino sure seems to think so - he later references both this race and misano as ones where marc aroused his suspicions. who knows, he might be right, but there's still a sizeable difference between competitive fervour and conspiracy

****phillip island 2015: one of the classic multi-rider fights. what valentino lacked in outright pace, he made up for in wheel-to-wheel skill and fighting spirit... except in the end, he couldn't completely make up for the deficit. all year, valentino had been fighting against the odds to keep his championship dreams alive - but at last, they were truly slipping, slipping, slipping away

**sepang 2015: one last roll of the dice, classic rossi-style... but this time it all goes horribly wrong. when the duel between marc and valentino arrives, it has an air of inevitability about it - as, perhaps, does the final outcome. but the fight itself is captivating to watch, in a raw brutality that befits the tragedy we are watching unfold. the penalty that valentino receives after the race is what truly dooms any remaining title hopes

valencia 2015: another doomed title decider, though valentino's race itself cannot really be faulted. he picks his way through the field from the very back and makes it to fourth, but he could never have hoped to catch up to the top three. quite a boring race afterwards bar some late marc/dani scrapping

jerez 2016: it is admittedly hard to vouch for the quality of this race precisely because it is such an extremely non-valentino way to win. clear and complete domination of the race - in a way he had otherwise been incapable of doing post-2009. while the title fight ended up being a bit of a dud for various reasons, early 2016 held promise that this year valentino would be able to match his two enemies on raw pace

***catalunya 2016: after the dramatic closing stages of the 2015 season, everyone was of course waiting for the first proper on-track duel between valentino and marc. it took a while to get going at catalunya, with valentino getting a typically poor start and having to ruthlessly work his way through to even get to the marc fight. but it's worth it once he gets there - like all their on-track encounters, it's a fierce battle of wills nicely complemented by the contrast in styles, and you can tell how ferociously determined they are to get the better of each other. the race that prompts the slight rapprochement between the pair of them

silverstone 2016: maverick vinales ran off in the front to claim his first premier class win, though the fight behind him is well worth watching - and warranted a mention on the marc list too. the first part is good, but the final laps are what it's all about, as the multi-rider scrap distills into another vicious little encounter between valentino and marc. as ever, with these two it's personal, and they're hardly shy in their ferocity fighting each other. but valentino makes clear afterwards he has no complaints... even if marc always reserves a "special treatment" for him

cota 2017: a lovely whiff of controversy to one of the better races cota has produced. valentino is involved in a feisty clash with the rookie johann zarco, who was well on his way to acquiring a certain kind of reputation within the premier class. it's fair to say valentino was not a fan, and he's certainly not a fan of zarco's attempted overtake that valentino argued forced him off-track to avoid taking them both down. he's slapped with a three tenths penalty his team decided against informing him of - which he's still unaware of when closing up on dani with a few laps to go

^not quite the hand-holding of yesteryear, but it was something. the pair of them disagreed in the post-race presser about zarco's aggressive riding - and, perhaps, valentino's off-track excursion that supposedly granted him an unfair advantage reminded marc of a certain other previous incident. riding standards remained a major talking point for all of that season, most notably in assen and phillip island (though valentino himself ended up coming under some criticism, in particular by pedrosa after aragon). the two rivals agreed more often than not, even if valentino still had his reservations. after phillip island: "all riders are very aggressive, so you have to be more stupid than them"

**assen 2017: his last grand prix victory and it's as true to him as brno 1996. a rough, bruising tussle between riders who aren't afraid to exchange paint, with plenty of high quality racing on offer. some rain adds to the excitement - and valentino still faced a sturdy challenge on the very last lap. he remains the only rider in history to have recorded a grand prix win over twenty years after his first. he said afterwards that "sincerely I race with motorcycle for what you feel the five, six hours after the victory". in many ways, it feels like a scarcely believable amount of commitment for so fleeting a reward

****phillip island 2017: multi! rider! scrap! in! australia! valentino's strongest result after a broken leg in a motocross accident took him definitively out of the title hunt (the second serious motocross-related injury that year for him). anyhow, they're at it again and it's a brutal battle between several protagonists who are happy to get their elbows well, well out. valentino's leathers were marked by rather a lot of rubber by the end of the race - but the most important thing is that everyone had fun!

sachsenring 2018: valentino's 2018 performances were generally stronger than the results would suggest, with yamaha increasingly out at sea in a new era hurried along by the return of the michelin tyres. still, he put together a strong first half of the season and was marc's main challenger points-wise. even this late in his career, he demonstrated his willingness to continue to learn and improve by studying satellite yamaha rider jonas folger's performance fighting marc the year before at the circuit, joking after the race that nobody had ever told folger the yamaha wasn't supposed to be good around there. while in the end valentino couldn't really pose a significant challenge to marc, he gives it a good go and gets involved in a fun fight with jorge along the way

****assen 2018: one of the classic multi-rider dogfights, and valentino contributes very nicely to the drama of the race - not least as a result of his deep love for the final chicane. while the winner always had something extra in his back pocket, a rather unfortunate late coming together ends up (probably) depriving valentino of what would have been a deserved podium place

argentina 2019: marc disappears the moment the lights go out, but the battle behind him provides plenty of excitement. there's a bunch of riders fighting for the remaining podium places, elbows nicely out, but eventually valentino and dovi have it out in an entertaining contest that goes down right to the very last lap

^winning a last lap duel against andrea dovizioso... what, like it's hard? a year on from an eventful argentina grand prix, marc memorably likens his handshake with valentino to kissing a girl. the last podium the two of them share

andalusia 2020: some silly good defending against his teammate throughout the race that mainly had the effect of allowing fabio to escape. valentino's result was quite the heroic feat given the gruelling physical conditions: 36 degrees celsius with horrendous track temperatures, with only 13 of 21 riders making it to the end. the blistering heat also hardly helped with the tyre preservation that plagued this portion of valentino's career; managing these tyres was one development too far for his ever-evolving riding style to adjust to. two academy riders could have denied valentino's final career podium, but both their bikes had the decency to break down

^three yamaha's stood on the podium that day for the first time since 2014 phillip island, and presumably for the last time until around 2064. valentino celebrated enthusiastically to the empty jerez grandstands, 21 years after his infamous visit to the portaloo at the same circuit. valentino's decision to retire was complicated by the pandemic, his past ability to bounce back from rough patches and - most of all - his inexhaustible passion for racing, but eventually he called it a day after the 2021 season

[klausysworld]

Hey, I love your writing style a lot so I wanted to ask if your open for a Joseph Morgan request?

Here’s what I had in mind:

Reader is new on set of The Originals and on one of her first days, she has to film a spicy scene with Joseph. She feels uncomfortable about doing that with a co star she has a little crush on and generally have to undress for a scene. He calms her and guides her through it, always looking out that she’s comfortable. Just a cute Joseph please and the end is very up to you :)

Thank you <3

Camera Shy

Joining the Originals set was a long shot for me, I hadn't actually expected to be casted and casted as a love interest was more than I had even auditioned for.

Getting to know everyone on set was a little scary but everyone was lovely, and funny, some of them (Daniel) were especially funny and Daniel and Joseph together were a right sketch.

Claire, Phoebe, Riley and Danielle had been great at helping me feel apart of the group despite coming in late.

Scenes sometimes took a few takes and a lot of time but seeing them put all together made every second worth it.

The most difficult scenes had been the more romantic scenes with Joseph. The first make out scene had been so awkward, completely my fault, and therefore every other scene seemed to make me worse.

The amount of makeup they had to put on me to hide the way my cheeks blushed was embarrassing and even then sometimes I swear I could still see it on the camera.

The embarrassment was high enough just kissing let alone stripping down to my underwear in front of a dozen cameras, costars and directors. But the most anxiety raising part of it was knowing Joseph's hands were going to be the ones pulling my shirt off, tugging my jeans down and I was going to have to do the same to him.

They have us a half an hour break right before the scene, everyone was getting a coffee or whatever but I couldn't even thing about relaxing.

I felt sweaty, I felt like he would be able to smell me and tell that I was turned on and terrified all at once.

My breathing was rushed and broken as I looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't cry, makeup had spent hours making sure I looked flawless.

But I couldn't help it as the nerves bred fast. My fingers tapped the desk in an unkept pattern, my eyes blurring up and nose getting stuffy.

I really hadn't expected the hands on my shoulders, the soft touch rubbing along my arms both gently and firmly.

"Do you feel okay, love?" He asked and I sniffed. "Do you need me to tell them you'll be off sick?"

"No..." I mumbled, trying to blink away any tears but he had it covered when a folded square of tissue tapped under my eyes carefully. "I'm sorry, I'm just being silly." I laughed but he only frowned.

"You're scared?" He murmured, arm wrapping around my waist in the gesture of comfort that I needed.

"I don't know...I've just never had to take off any clothes for TV before you know? I haven’t-" I swallowed down my words and he pulled me to a hug.

"I understand" he nodded, rubbing my back. "I can talk to them, we can change the scene or move it."

"We can't, I have to do it and I want to do it for the viewers but it's just really hard and people are gonna look and me and say things-"

"The only things anyone will say is how beautiful you look." He interrupted, eyes boring into mine like the ocean during the night, "Nobody will want you to do this scene if you feel this uncomfortable, I promise you they'll understand."

I sniffled and shook my head. "It's gonna be good for my career, I need to" I mumble and he squeezed me a little.

"I'll be right there for you, the whole time. I'll be gentle-" He tried to reassure but I knew the directors would retake.

"Klaus is rough, the script specifically says that-" I argued

"I'm not though and I don't care what the script says, it's not like they can fire me this late. So I'll be gentle and I'll take care of you." He told me firmly and I could only nod.

I looked as though nothing had happened by the time I was back out there. Cameras rolling, zooming in on us, I could feel them. But Joseph made sure I could feel him there too, sometimes when I looked at him during a scene I just saw him as his character but in that moment I knew it was just us, no Klaus just Joseph.

So when our lips met I let it be our lips, his hands on my body and my body only. Not who I was supposed to be. When my top was lifted from my body and his eyes looked into mine I knew what he was asking. When his hands popped the button on my jeans and slid them down my legs, I knew his intentions weren't to push me just to guide me. His touch encouraged me to return the favour, plucking his clothes from his skin like feathers from a bird. Like the feathers that covered is shoulder.

My fingers touched the tattoo, stroking it softly as his hands slid up to my waist and warmed my skin. I could faintly hear the camera crew calling cut as the scene faded out of picture.

But he didn't just leave me vulnerable and alone on the set. He didn't pull his clothes back on and go off laughing with the guys.

He rubbed my arms like he had earlier and asked if I felt okay and I did. His smile reached my heart and the kiss to my cheek somehow felt more intimate than the way his tongue had pushed at my lips moments ago.

A blanket from the set was wrapped over my shoulders as he lead me away and kept talking to me, just being there for me.

He made me feel safe; comfortable.

[ryescapades]

love your new theme! im gonna be brave and request for a kaiser drabble. something like brother's best friend trope with him. all fluffy and cosy!

a secret third thing, maybe.

characters: michael kaiser (blue lock) x ness's sibling gn!reader genre/warning: fluff, slight manga spoilers, not sure if i characterize them correctly here so might be ooc a/n: hope this is to your liking ^^ i'm trying my best to get out of my writing slump so this is actually a good practice for me and thank you for requesting! <3

"you're late."

ness, only just arriving at the cafe a few seconds ago, pouts at your narrowed eyes. "i know, i know, sorry. but in my defense, i've never been to this town so it took a while to get here."

you sigh once again. "well, now that you're finally here, we should order something. i'm starving," you say, about to fully step out of your booth when a voice has you halting in your steps, making you nearly stumble from your foot catching against the leg of the table.

"ness, there you are." rich, velvety and familiar. too familiar.

ignoring the skip in your heart beat, you turn towards the owner of the voice, your eyes clashing with a pair of blues lined with vivid red.

"oh, isn't this such a nice surprise? ness didn't mention anything about meeting any of his dear family member." kaiser drawls, a smirk growing on his face.

the slight jab has both you and your brother scrunching your eyebrows. of course, kaiser knows about how in your family, you're the closest to ness. you never disparaged your brother just because he decided to pursue a different career path from everyone else. whatever he does, he's still your beloved brother.

you sharply swivel to the redhead, "why is he here?" you hiss. ness only blinks a few times before giving you a toothy grin. "why not? the more the merrier, right?" he chirps, apparently fine as he brushes off kaiser's earlier comment.

the aforementioned man only grins wider. "now, now. what's so wrong with me being here, hm?" he says, a knowing glint in his eyes as he makes eye contact with you.

and of course, he knows about your silly little crush on him too.

he's not dumb, after all. every time the two of you were in each other's presence, you just seem like you can't get it together; red cheeks, ears flushed and voice slightly trembling. it doesn't help that kaiser even uses those to his advantage by teasing you every chance he gets. not to mention his time away at that blue lock project never ceases your admiration for him any less. if anything, it just grows and you don't even know why and how.

"i-i didn't say—!" you sputter, looking away as heat crawls up your neck at his gaze. ness, seemingly oblivious to the dynamic between you and his teammate (or maybe he just doesn't care. you never know when it comes to your brother), adds in, "hey, how about i go order for us? i'll get all the tasty stuff, i promise!" he exclaims before running off to the counter.

you only stare at your brother's back with a faltering reaction, looking like a deer caught in headlights as you're now left alone with your... uh- crush...

kaiser whistles slightly as he takes a seat in front of you. "and there he goes. good ol' ness, huh?" he muses. you only hum as a response, now awkwardly drumming your fingers on the table.

"so... how have you been doing?" he starts, placing an elbow on the table with a cheek resting on his fist as the longer strands of blue hair flows down his shoulder smoothly.

you try hard not to stare.

taking a second too long to reply, you don't even look at him in the eye. not like you can, anyway. not without embarrassing yourself any further. "um, doing fine. i guess."

the next few seconds after that are filled with silence. perhaps there's even a crow flying by.

and then kaiser laughs— wait, why is he laughing? what's so funny about this? you're just here sitting and (barely) talking to your crush and he's laughing?!

"are you still shy, y/n? i'm pretty sure we've met plenty of times before. certainly by now you've gotten used to talking to me already." he remarks, a teasing lilt accentuating his tone.

trying to fight off the urge to fidget with yourself, you huff, "i'm not." the athlete in front of you raises a perfectly shaped brow. "you're not what? not shy or not used to talking to me?"

at that, your face frowns as you realize that once again, you're barely making any coherent replies so you let out a frustrated groan with your face hidden in your hands, "ugh, cut me some slack. you know why i'm like this." at this point you don't bother feeling embarrassed about your infatuation anymore. you’re way past being secretive.

this time though, kaiser is the one that takes a second too long to answer. and when he does, it's a low murmur of, "have i ever told you how adorable you are, mein liebling?"

he has. many times. over and over.

oh sweet lord. you could only pray you've got the mental (and cardiac) capacity to survive the whole day.

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[goldsbitch]

Right? p3

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

That is until a photoshoot gets out of hand and there is no way to go but forward.

part 1, part 2

"Y/n!"

You slowly turned. The plan was to leave with the rest of the team, not staying behind with Lando - alone.

"I just have few ideas for the next phoshoot, if you'd like to talk about it," he said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Professional. "Of course!" And with that, the last person left the room and closed the door.

The media meeting room was one of the few rooms without glass doors or windows. The only light present was from the projecting screen, still showing a big photo of Lando fucking Norris.

He was leaning on the table, light reflecting in his face while he was observing the picture.

"Narcissist much?" you teased and also leaned next to him. It's like his body was sending magnetic signals to yours.

"Always. " He paused for a moment. "If I recall correctly, these were all shot in the forest." You chose not to react. He gave you a questioning look. "Where is the rest?"

You should have expected this. Wishful thinking was not working in your favor. Or was it?

"I'm missing the car pictures, the ones where you stood above me and perhaps even those where you sat on me. Am I right?"

You turned and looked him straight to the eye. If tension was a fog in the room, you'd be able to see at arms-lenght only.

"I guess the battery gave out sooner than I noticed," you replied nonchalantly.

Lando stepped into the projector light. "Yes, that must be it...Or, there is a reason why you don't want to show them."

He was standing way too close. You had no defense for his charm. The damn scent again. The only thing you had on mind was burying your face in his neck and leaving your own mark on him. Would he be the one to moan? How would that sound?

"You know, I also like to take photos."

"Is that so?"

He was facing you directly. With a noticable hasitation, he put his finger on your chin, tracing the lines of your jaw. He ended up with him finger and his eyes on your lips.

"I would love to be on the other side of the lens. Take photo of you for once."

We are sorry to inform you, that all traces of professionality have left the room.

He slowly traced your lips with his finger and while remaining direct eye contact, you opened your mouth and licked it. It was slow, with a little pause and then suddenly the mouth that kissed yours, like he had once in real life and several times in your dreams. .

Almost as if he had read your mind, he proceeded to kiss your neck, softly not to leave a mark, but enough for him to find out you in fact do moan. His hand, wrapped around your hips, squeezed you as a direct response to the soft sounds coming out of your mouth.

"Lando," you whispered.

"Yes, baby?" his voice was shivering as well. This should not make you proud. You should stop now, anyone could walk in. You managed to break out of your paralysis, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do.

"Lando, stop."

He stopped kissing you promptly. Your foreheads pressed together.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. You almost laughed. The only thing he should feel sorry for was the fact his mouth was not exploring your body anymore.

With heavy heart, you pulled away. This was probably a silly game for him, one with potentially horrible consequences.

"I can't risk my job like this."

He nodded. "I understand. I guess. I mean, I think the times are changing a bit."

"Like having an affair with essentially your boss is not bad anymore?"

"I'm not your boss."

Oh maybe he should be.

"You know what I mean. For me it's not just a job."

He took a moment to think. "That's probably the hottest thing about you. The passion. I can understand that."

Your stomach spun. Lando called you hot?

"It's impossible for me to keep passing you around as if it's nothing. Been too long." You remained calm, knowing well enough you'll have many night to think about this sentence.

"Do you say this to all the female staff?" you joked, but tiny part of you had a legitimate worry. You were not going to be one of many, too proud for that.

"I'd have to quit if there were even only two like you, one is enough to handle."

This time you approached him and kissed him first. A little bit slower than you kissed before. It was quick, as you heard some steps on the hallway.

"Let's go on a date. Privately. So we can think clearly," he insisted.

"I don't think other people are the reason why I'm not thinking clearly."

"Come on, say yes."

"Yes, let's."

Lando stepped away, becoming more of his work self again. You went to turn on the lights again. "We can either go and take photos of you for this time, or you can show me the ones you hid from others."

The door opened and you were relieved it didn't happened a minute ago.

"Yes, let's do another photoshoot," you smirked at Lando.

part 4

______________________________________________________________

@i-wish-this-was-me

[uzuitengensfourthwife]

Home - Atsumu x reader (fem reader)

You dated in Highschool, but broke up after Atsumu lost against Karasuno. 6 years later, you meet again.

Warnings: bit angsty, otherwise none! Just fluff hihi.

Word-count: 2411

Author’s note: Well hi there! I’m back from the dead. So….. i haven’t written sth in a long time so I apologise in advance if it’s badly written or contains tons of mistakes! But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

---

Atsumu never made life easier for you. Back in Highschool, when you two dated, the girls always gave you dirty looks whenever Atsumu and you walked down the hall, hand in hand. But it only worsened over time. The longer you dated Atsumu, the worse his fangirls acted towards you. Insults were thrown at you, judging looks were shared whenever you walked past them and even shoving you out of the way whenever they felt like it.

What you regret most, was stopping with your hobby to become Inarizaki's manager, of course upon Atsumu's request. You were once a very talented ice skater, but due to your relationship with Atsumu, you had stopped.

But even though all of this had hurt you, you stayed for him. His love towards you was so pure, he made sure to let you know he loved you. He was never too busy to not see you, even if it meant he had to sneak out his house to meet you at your place late at night.

However, that changed as well after Inarizaki lost against Karasuno. The once long nights you spent together, were suddenly spent alone. The Atsumu that once made sure to squeeze you in whenever, was suddenly long gone. His ego was more than hurt after this match, you remember it so well. He pushed you away even weeks after that match, he barely saw you and during practice nothing more than a little kiss was placed on your cheek, followed by a half assed "Sorry, love".

And when summer came, you've had enough. You've spent months alone. So you've asked Atsumu to meet up with you in front of the Convenience store you've usually hung out in during late nights. Surprisingly, he agreed to meet you at 4 p.m.

You waited patiently, well aware of the fact that he'd be running late. 15 minutes later he then appeared, still in his gym clothes.

"Hey love, how ya doing?" he pulled you in a hug, squeezing you tightly. "I'm fine 'tsumu.., how bout you?" you hugged back, knowing well this would be your last hug. "Ya know, good als always." He smiled as he let go of you again. However, his smile faded upon seeing you nervously fiddling around with your hands. He raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong with ya? Yer nervous as hell."

You sigh loudly, trying to keep yourself from crying. "I.... I think we should break up." - "Yer not serious, right?" He's staring you down, his eyes clearly showing that he hoped for it to be just a silly joke. "I'm very serious Atsumu. I'm moving to Tokyo next week and you need to concentrate on your career anyway." He laughs out loud, he's not believing you one bit. "I've already talked about it with Kita and Suna. They're well aware of this." - " Tokyo or not, we'll still be able to date." You shake your head. God, you should've known this would happen. "No, Atsumu we can't." - " But we haven't even tried yet. How would ya know we wouldn't make it?" He said, his pleading eyes trying to read you. "We're done Atsumu Miya." And with that you turned away and just ran. You ran away from him and the fact you still loved him very dearly.

----

6 years. It had been 6 years since you've moved to Tokyo. You've only kept contact with Suna and Kita, both of them still texting you regularly. Suna himself even moved to Tokyo, after joining a Volleyball Club within Tokyo, which led to you both meeting up regularly.

Outside of meeting your friends in your free time, you were working. A well paid job within a law firm and a nice apartment, which was close to Shinjuku. You were leading quite the normal life.

Until Suna asked you to join him at a party on a random Friday.

"You free after work?"

"Yeah I am Rin, why?"

"There is a party in Shinjuku, wanna join?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes :) I'll pick you up at 8 p.m."

And with that, you knew you had no choice but to join Suna Rintarou to this party. You yourself weren't really into parties, however Suna always dragged you to go with him, since he didn't want to go alone.

So when you came back from work at 7 p.m. you took a quick shower and made sure you got ready by 8 p.m. And on 8 p.m. your doorbell rang, so you quickly grabbed your purse and ran to the door to open it. "Ready to go?" - " Good Evening to you too Rin, and yes, let me just put my shoes on!" you chuckle, grabbing your pretty black high heels. "I'm warning you, I'm NOT going to switch shoes with you again." - " Yeah yeah, don't worry. I'm not planing on staying for long anyway." He raises an eyebrow und holds your purse so you can put on your heels. Once you're finally ready, you take back your purse and both of you make your way towards the subway.

On the way to the club, both of you exchanged about your day. You exchanged some laughter and without really realizing, you had already arrived at the subway station. Within 10 minutes you had already made it to the doors of the club.

As you wanted to get in line, Suna grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the VIP entrance. And wishing seconds you were inside the club, marked as VIP guests with a wristband. "I keep forgetting you're quite the star within the Volleyball scene." He grins at you as the loud music surrounds you both. Without even telling you, he starts dragging you towards a lounge, solely reserved for VIP's. As you were let in, he starts looking around frantically.

You nudge him, letting him now you want to say something. He bends down, putting his ear towards your lips. "Looking for someone?" - "Yeah." he answers immediately. You thought it was just the two of you, however it turns out that he was dragging you to meet some friends of his with you.

Suna then seemed to have spotted the people he was looking for, which led to him dragging you towards a table with a few seats. They all greeted him with big grins. But before you could say anything, he pushed you forward, so you were able to see who was really sitting there. You greet them all kindly with a little bow, before your eyes met with dark brown eyes that you knew too well. Your smile immediately vanished.

It was none other than Atsumu Miya.

You froze in place, not really sure what to say. It has been 6 years since you've last seen Atsumu. This must've been some bad joke, you thought. Yes of course, Suna was trying to pull a mean joke on you, nothing else.

"You okay?" One of Suna's friends asked, pulling you back into the harsh reality. "Uh.. yeah!" You put on a forced smile, trying to hide behind Suna, but before you could do so, he disappeared to get all of you some drinks. Without any other choice left, you sit down as far away from Atsumu as possible. "I'm Bokuto!" One of Suna’s friends says. He was quite big and had a very well built body. His big eyes looked at you, while he flashed you a grin. "I'm Y/N." you answered, smiling slightly. The others also introduced themselves. So Sunas friends were called, Bokuto, Hinata, Kageyama and Wakatoshi, and turns out they were all part of the Japanese national teams.

"I'm Atsumu. 'Tsumu for short." Atsumu said, shooting you a quick but forced smile. He was pretending to not know you.

Before any of this could get more awkward, Suna appeared with some drinks for everyone. Everyone grabbed a drink and that's when the conversations started to strike. Since it was your first time meeting them, besides Atsumu, you just sat there quietly listening here and there.

"What do you do for work?" Wakatoshi suddenly asked, looking at you quietly. "I'm a Lawyer!" you answered , smiling proudly of your profession. "Woahhh! No way!" Bokuto exclaimed excitedly while slapping Suna's back harshly. You chuckle lightly at Suna's slightly annoyed face. Atsumu looked at you, slightly amazed.

The conversations continued and you kept listening to them all. You definitely enjoyed your time there. Yet, after some time you just needed to get a drink by yourself at the bar, but to still be polite you asked everyone if they wanted a drink at the bar as well. They refused, so you made your way to the bar and sat down on a stool to order a drink.

However, you were disturbed by a male presence next to you. It was a man that seemed quite drunk. "Hey there cutie..." He smirked, watching you up and down. You just shook your head and ignored him. Giving him attention would only fuel his ego. Yet, ignoring him was not enough. He leaned closer towards you. "Oh come on... don't ignore me princess..." He groaned, totally frustrated. Glaring at him, you got up to see if there was another seat possible, but he grabbed you by your wrist. "Let go." you said. "Beg." He grinned disgustingly. You were aware, that he had no good intention with you.

Before anything could happen, someone appeared behind you. The presence strong and dangerous. "She said let go." Atsumu's voice rang in your ear. The man instantly let go, mumbling something incoherent. You looked up at Atsumu, who was watching the man disappear amidst the people. "Ya should be careful, ya know?" He said, sitting down where the man sat before. He watched you quietly, before nodding towards the seat, indicating for you to sit down next to him. And so you did.

Atsumu ordered you both a drink. You decided to stay quiet, not sure how to even talk to him after all that happened between the two of you. On top of that, you never talked again after the break up.

"How have ya been?" He asked you, breaking the silence. "Been well... what about you?" Nodding at your question he answers "Can't complain, 'm part of the national team after all." - " Congrats, by the way." you said, smiling sincerely this time. "Thanks." he replies, handing you your drink. You take a sip, making a face as you taste the strong alcohol within the drink.

He chuckles lightly, observing you from the side. "M glad Suna made me come today." He suddenly said, looking at his drink. " It feels good knowing yer doing well." His words took you by surprise. You were expecting everything but this.

Atsumu slightly smiled to himself, while taking a sip from his drink. "Atsumu..." - " I've thought of ya every day... just wishing ya would be doing well." He turns back to you with a big grin. " Ya should be thanking me!" This was all an act. You've known him long enough to know that something inside of him hurt.

"How 'bout we get some fresh air?"

And suddenly you both were sat outside, barely covered up in midst of the cold autumn night. You tried to warm yourself up by rubbing your arms, but it barely helped. "Here." He said, while wrapping his Jacket around you. "No, you'll be cold yourself." You say, taking off his jacket, but he immediately reacted wrapping it around you again. "Such a gentleman." you chuckle, wrapping his jacket around you tighter.

Like. every other night, Shinjuku was lively. Lots of people were walking past you, enjoying the night for the time being. You watched the people passing by, while holding on to Atsumu's jacket. "You've really become even prettier." You turn your head to him with flushed cheeks, you weren't sure whether it was because of the cold air or him.

"I.... I'm sorry for what happened 'Tsumu." You said quietly, looking at the ground. You were ashamed at how everything ended back then. "Don't apologize. It was my fault... I.. I was an asshole." He stuttered. "I shouldn't have pushed you away. I was just.... broken I suppose." - " I know Atsumu..." You whispered, sliding closer to him. "I was an asshole too. I should've tried to talk to you before even making such a harsh decision."

He shakes his head. "No..it was best for ya. See how successful you've become without me?" - "I would've been happier if you were with me." You didn't even mutter. It was the truth after all. Yes, you were successful but you were more than sure that you would have been happier on this journey if he would have been part of your life. But you had cut him out of it, out of stupidity.

He looked at you surprised. You knew he didn't expect an answer like this from you. But it was the harsh truth, even to you. "I never stopped loving you Atsumu. I was just... scared. Scared you'd leave me if I had said anything. I was scared of conflict." His eyes widened in shock while you tried to stop yourself from crying. It didn't work. Suddenly tears streamed down your face.

Atsumu immediately pulled you into a hug. "God no.... I would've never left ya love...!" He whispered while pulling you closer. You've never felt better before, it felt like you were home again. You've found your home within Atsumu again.

"I... I still love ya... and never stopped loving ya while ya were gone.. Ask 'Samu, he's heard all about it.. " he joked, laughing slightly while rubbing your back in a calming manner. A chuckle escape your lips.

You felt inner peace, as if you've been lost for an eternity and then finally finding back home. Your home was Atsumu and nothing else mattered to you at the moment.

You pulled away slightly, looking up at him. His cheeks were red and before you could make a funny remark, he placed a sweet but quick kiss on your lips.

"I see you two lovebirds have made up, hmm?" Suna was leaning against a wall, watching them with a big smirk on his face. "Oh shut up Rintarou!"

You were more than thankful that Rintarou dragged you here, if he hadn't, you wouldn't have found your home again.

[xiao-come-home]

Giggling, kicking my feet, spinning in circles over Boothill...

Just imagine, S/O in a creative field, and they've been preparing for an event where they get to show off their work..

Except, they've been doing it in secret because they don't feel confident and they're unsure if people would stop by for them..

So cue S/O's surprise when they suddenly bump into Boothill at said event—maybe even burst into (happy) tears if he praises their work.. I just know this man's the sweetest for his S/O ;;;-;;;

YUEESS anyway this got kinda long but take it 🫡

You knew the day was coming - the day so, so important in your career that could possibly shift everyone's opinion about you and your hard work. Day after day, more preparations were made, and people who assisted you kept patting your shoulder as you walked by, already congratulating you.

Yet, amongst all of the joy - your hesitation was certainly present. No one close to you knew about the event - not even the closest people, not even Boothill himself, who was your significant other. Even though so many already praised you - just what meaning does it hold if no one actually shows up to the event itself?

The lack of confidence and worrying were the only ones that bothered you to no end - which, Boothill noticed immediately as it was not your usual behavior. Not only were you constantly busy and away from home when he finally got back, but you were constantly stressed out. He tried not to pressure the matter as you were unwilling to talk, but that's Boothill we're talking about - which means - time for Boothill to snoop around and find out himself.

Today is the day. The day you anticipated so much, but also dreaded to finally have it happen. You hop onto the stage, and gasp at the amount of people below. You can't count the amount of eyes that gaze at you, and people seem to be genuinely impressed at your work - applauding loudly, causing you to tear up on stage.

That's a shame you haven't noticed the familiar cyborg who's been watching you the whole time, smiling widely to himself.

Once the official part is over and the festivities begin, people swarm around you to ask you more about your work or actual interviews, but you gently excuse yourself for now under the excuse of being tired. Surprisingly, the crowd goes away, but they'll surely be back...

You breathe in and out, shaking your head from all the attention, but suddenly, you bump hard against something and your hands automatically cover your poor nose; the pain makes you cry under your nose a tiny "oww," just what the hell is that pole here? Was there one before?!

"Ouch! 'm sorry sweetheart! Thought ya would finally notice me, but not that kinda way..." Boothill's voice reaches your ears and you open your eyes in the span of seconds, "I can't believe ya didn't tell me about all of this! A god dang event just for you, and those little motherfudgers that barely let me in, let alone get closer to ya—"

Boothill takes your hands off your face in his, pressing a soft kiss on your nose, "I didn't know my sweet pea was so smart," his voice gets softer and quieter, eyes gazing into yours, "I'm so proud of ya. I really wish you've told me about this, so we could be properly celebratin' this together."

You no longer could fight your tears and let them run down your cheeks, "I'm sorry, I didn't— I didn't think anyone would even show up," you sobbed, "I didn't even know if I could get through this if—" your sentence gets cut off by Boothill's fingers pushing your chin up and staring at you with ungodly amounts of love in his eyes.

"Silly you," he wiped off the tears with his hand, "of course they'd come. They did. So many people are here just for you, admirin' yer work and almost fightin' to say a word to ya. I know ya often doubt yourself, but, as you can see," Boothill looks behind you and see people fawning over your projects, "there's no need for it. You deserve all of this, sweetheart, even if I can't understand a single fudgin' word. You put yer entire heart into this - I see it, love."

Boothill's words only make you cry harder, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly - but this time, your tears are those of joy.

After calming down, you sit nearby with Boothill next to you. Sparing him a glance, you confusingly mention the new hat he's wearing, "Ha! Took ya long enough to see! It worked as intended - ya didn't know it was me back there, in the crowd!" He exclaimed proudly, sending you a smug grin.

[dreamsagain]

I figured it would be a good time to share an update with you. I completed 5 radiation treatment sessions in 10 days. I had a new Pet Scan today but no results yet. I wish I could say I'm confident of what the outcome will be. You see when I had the scan prior to the radiation, three new growths were discovered. The cancer in my body is very active. Honestly I was never supposed to live this long but here I am.

Each day I struggle. I can't walk anymore or use my legs. I have become quite the wheelchair master though. My dear friend Holly once told me to keep all four wheels on the ground. Sorry Holly. You get a little bored in my situation. I have come to accept some things that I never thought I would have to. I can't feel the sand of the beach on my toes anymore or the cool ocean water. I can't dance anymore not that I was every very good at it. No more hiking on our trips to northern New England. These may seem trivial to all of you. You never think of these things until you can't do them any longer.

The bigger issues exist. I know my survival chances are slim. I will never give up though till my last breath. I know I will never fall in love with that special girl or settle down or even have a family. Why would anyone want a cancer ridden cripple? My days are consumed with doctors, physical therapy and trying to keep my head up.

Through all of this I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people that try every day to lift my spirits, to encourage me and support me and most of all love me.

So to the following people, I say thank you and I love you forever.

Lauren @callmenonames my best friend in the universe. I have no words to describe the love you have shown me and the love I have for you. You sacrifice for me every day even at the cost of your own health. You are truly amazing.

Ellie @everylittlethingshedoesismagic my sweet London friend and her beautiful partner Sarah. Not a day goes by that I don't get a sweet message or picture. Unconditional and unwavering support and love. I have dreamt so many times about coming to London to just give you a hug and tell you thank you. I hope some day I can do that. I love you my friend

Karen @karenpillagain where do I begin. You are sweet and kind. Very silly and quirky and I think a little crazy too. You make me laugh and smile. When you had your accident I cried for days. Your partner Kate is a very lucky girl as are yo to have her. Two beautiful Aussies that deserve life's very best. I love you both and do hope we can make that Disney trip someday.

CJ @crystaljaydeinside1 Another incredible Aussie. You never hold back your care and encouragement. Always a sweet message, encouraging word or song to lift me up. I'm glad we connected the way we have and always love our chats. You have become very special to me and Lauren as well. I do love you my friend.

Breelynn @breelynnxoxoxoxo Where do I begin? You were a big support to my sister till the end. You remained close to Lauren and have always supported us. One of kind with a heart bigger than your body. Caring, loving and beautiful. Thank you for your continued support and love. I love you girl! You are amazing

Holly @hollys-coffee-cafe I fell in love with you so easy. You are beautiful, caring, and very special to me. I know we had our moments but there are no conditions on my feelings. You are an encouragement to me to never give up and I never will. I will always love you.

Last but not least Sadie @bambibrowneyes when I met you thanks to Holly, you were dealing with your own issues. Your beautiful wife Shelby sick with the same awful disease as me. There was an instant connection with the three of us. Shelby has since passed and your life has gone on. New career, new city and new love. I'm happy for you my friend. Love you

Okay that's it from me. I probably missed several people. I'm sorry for the long worded post. If you remember, say a prayer, send me you good vibes or whatever you believe in. I need them all.

[blackhairedjjun]

love flew away - k.th

pairing: kang taehyun x gn reader | genre / tropes: soft angst, amicable breakup, boxer!taehyun | word count: 1.1k | warnings: mentions of food and alcohol, pet names (love), heartbreak

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompts - OVER?: after a mutually reluctant (and unwanted but necessary) break-up, the sender calls/visits the receiver and tells them that they’re still in love with them. + VOICEMAIL: sender leaves a voicemail on the receiver’s phone after failing to get through to them, and reveals their love for them. (requested by @probably-too-obssessed - "Also the prompt says mutual break up for Over but can it be tweaked to Taehyun breaking up with Reader for some unavoidable reason instead? Tysm and I'd be happy with whatever you write! Congrstulations again!")

author's note: hello!! i'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, taehyun is the one who initiates the breakup with the reader but it's still friendly on both ends...? so yeah haha. also i listened to love flew away by laufey & adam melchor as inspiration for this and i got carried away and wrote 1k, oops. but i hope you enjoy!!

taehyun took you out to dinner on your last day as a couple.

had it not been for the breakup he had decided on a week ago, it would have felt like just another blissful date with him. he ordered all your favorite dishes and asked about your day as you waited for the orders, his wide eyes shining with affection while you chatted on. his hand rested on top of yours on the table, warm and inviting, his slender fingers intertwining with yours halfway through the meal. and when he smiled that adorable little smile of his in between his silly remarks, you felt your heart growing light in your chest. 

the evening finished off with a little wine, and you drank just enough to keep your senses while bathing the rest of the evening in the haze of a dream. and with taehyun squeezing your hand and gazing at you with shining eyes, you really did feel like you were in a dream that you couldn’t wake from.

he wrapped your jacket around your shoulders as you left the restaurant and waited for a cab. he linked his arms around yours and stood close by to keep you from swaying too much, and the warmth of his side kept you grounded. 

“my flight leaves early in the morning,” he said.

“i know…”

you turned to him and were surprised to see tears brimming in his eyes. taehyun didn’t cry much, but he looked at you so solemnly that the gravity of everything began to crash down on you. you met his gaze and when you touched your cheek, you realized that your own tears were starting to fall too.

“y/n…” he grabbed both your hands in his, giving them a firm squeeze. “i’m sorry i had to do this.”

you attempted to croak out another “i know,” but your voice broke before you could get the words out. your tears flowed so much that your vision blurred, and you choked back a sob.

he moved forward and held you close, one hand patting your back gently and the other still grasping onto your hand. you buried your head in his chest and sobbed as you inhaled his scent for the last time. he wore the cologne you had gifted him for his birthday, fresh and musky but a little sweet, and the memory of the gift made you sob harder.

the two of you said nothing for several moments. taehyun repeated another “i’m sorry, love” into your hair and squeezed you a bit tighter. the top of your head felt damp as his own tears fell more freely.

you had remained calm in the week since he announced the breakup; it had been a perfectly rational decision that suited the both of you. taehyun was moving overseas to continue training for his boxing career, and he knew that you had no intentions of moving with him when your own career was starting to take off. he hated the thought of a long-distance relationship that neither of you wanted, and just imagining the loneliness and the arguments that would result from it made him shudder. so when he proposed that you two break up while you were still on good terms, you agreed.

it makes perfect sense, you told yourself; if you had stayed together, you both would have been unhappy. but now, sobbing in his arms and feeling his heartbeat for the last time, a different kind of unhappiness wrapped around you. already you could feel the cold of not having him by your side, the silence from not listening to him chatter about something he had read, the emptiness of losing the man you loved with your whole being for two years. you held onto him tightly, as if doing so would keep the future would coming and let him stay.

when your tears finally subsided, you lifted your head to meet taehyun’s eyes. his forehead rested on yours and he lifted a hand to brush away a lingering tear from your cheek. you closed your eyes, savoring the small act of affection, and he leaned in for one last kiss.

his lips felt gentler on yours than they had ever been.

一

you barely slept that night, and in the first hours of the morning you and taehyun exchanged your last texts goodbye before he was due for his flight. he had left for the airport with his training team, no outsiders allowed, so you wished him farewell from the solitude of your room. 

your emotions came in waves in those hours. just when you thought you were finally at peace with the end of your relationship, the ache in your heart would start up once again, and the pain filled your senses so much that it would keep you from sleeping. the flood of emotions subsided for good only later that morning; your energy crashed and you fell asleep in an instant despite the bright sun outside. when you awoke it was already well into the afternoon.

you lifted your head from the bed and reached for the phone on your nightstand, barely getting up to do so. taehyun usually sent you a text as soon as he arrived somewhere new, and though it made no sense to expect one from him 一 as of today, he and you were no longer a couple 一 your heart still jumped in expectation out of sheer habit. maybe, just maybe, he had sent one last text... one more “one last”...

what you did not expect was an unread voicemail. 

you pressed to listen, and the sound of taehyun’s voice alone was enough to bring you to tears.

hey, y/n. so i finally landed here... i tried calling you but you didn’t pick up. i just wanted to tell you thank you for these last two years. i wish we had more time together but... (a sigh.) i was happy, i really was. you have no idea how amazing of a person you are... you’re incredibly caring, you brighten people’s days, you always listen to me and you work hard not just for yourself but for the people you care about. including me... and i hope that you, well, you stay the amazing person i fell in love with. no, i know you will be. and i hope you’ll be happy always. um, that’s all... (his voice breaks.) no, that’s not all. i love you, y/n. i love you.

[angelicsjn]

I was the one that submitted the form and it had Hayden as my favourite with the passing comment that I made mad money just so he can have his career.

I know in the Domestic Life ask, he fears settling down due to the fact that he'd need to give up his photography for something more stable. But ha! Sike! His darling makes 6+ figures and is willing to support him fully. The cutie is gonna get the house husband treatment but hey, he gets to pursue photography with a big safety net. If anything, his photography profits is their play money for vacations and getting pampered together.

So, how would Hayden react to that? Would he enjoy it and settle down sooner?

- ✨ Anon

HAYDEN WEST.

A N: I love this so much. When I read your answer, something lit up inside of me. This is so real. Honestly, the dynamic sort of reminds me of Levi and William on tiktok. Their relationship are my actual goals... ps. If you see any typos and mistakes, no, you didn't. Look away, it never existed.

A B O U T: Hayden is apprehensive about settling down, but you have funds to do so. How does he feel about it? Read to find out.

W A R N I N G S: None. Other than Hayden being a sweetheart.

As stated in an old post, Hayden's only setback in settling down is his career path, and he knows that it's not sustainable in the long run.

Hayden isn't the type to sacrifice his passions to make life comfortable; his passions are his life. He would be nothing without them.

But he knows that at some point he will have to decide on what path he will take because he doesn't only have to pay for himself now, he also has you in his life.

But! Maybe there's another solution...?

Hayden's obsession with you grew in a short space of time, he went from watching you; hoping that you'd look his way one day to sleeping in your bed feeling more loved than he has ever been loved before. He takes care of you, you take care of him and even though you don't know about all the things he's done behind the scenes, you know how deeply he loves you. He just has a way of knowing you, understanding you like no other.

One thing that he never found out was how much money you had in your bank. Really, Hayden doesn't care much for that kind of thing. Whilst stalking you, he never pressed much attention into what jobs you did, where your money came from and how much you had; money is just a thing to survive to him. He wanted to know the silly and deep things about you.

He never questioned it either due to the fact that you live humbly — sure, more well off than him, but that wouldn't be hard, Hayden didn't grow up in the best of areas. To him a home cooked meal each day is a privilege and reward, so he knew you were rich in sense of. But not in the way you actually are.

When the conversation of moving in together comes up he sort of freezes. He didn't see how you'd both survive. Besides his general insecurities of you growing out of love for him — he saw how his parents were growing up — he was also shitting bricks over how to get a place and keep it without sacrificing everything and living unhappily.

A huge part of him felt that insecurity riddle it's way into his system over the fact that he, a man, can't provide. That's his job... right? How can he be considered a good man. A good boyfriend. If he can't even look after you?

But you were adamant. You knew he was the one, you've never felt so seen by someone before. He understands you, respects you, loves you for who you are. And that's when the conversation comes up...

"We can do this, Hayden." You said, watching him as his eyes scan across the screen. He was gobsmacked. How the fuck did he miss this? After all that time watching you he missed out the fact that you're loaded, maybe you landed the job yourself. Maybe it's a family thing. Who knows. He didn't know if he was meant to be impressed with you. Or pissed off that you didn't tell him. Or pissed off with himself for missing out such a big detail in your life. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just wanted to be seen for more than what I can offer." You finished, and he understood — not from personal experience. But he got it.

"I know." He mumbled, pushing the laptop away. "I understand, it's okay. I'd have done the same." Hayden meant it, you could tell as he flashed his usual lopsidedely shy smile, his eyes soft and warm. He took your hand and pressed a kiss against your knuckles. "But I want to help out."

You knew how he felt, it was clear as he looked away. He felt small. It wasn't a secret that you lead the relationship, it was natural. The pants fit you better and you both prefer it that way. But you understood how he felt in that moment, what can he give back when he doesn't have much to give.

"Focus on your studies. Continue with your photography and make a business out of it." You said, squeezing his hand in yours. "If you want, you can help out around the house, keep your part time job, I don't know. Anything. It's fine."

Hayden needed some time to think about it, let it roll around in his head until he finally made his decision...

Ultimately, you both knew what would work best. So you tested it out.

Pushing aside his initial insecurities, he realised that the dynamic between you both worked perfectly and if anything you had both never been closer.

Half a year later you're both happy and thriving. The house is beautiful and Hayden even has the space for his own room thats dedicated to his interests and photography, with the saved up money he's gained, thanks to you for being the main provider, he was able to set his business up more professionally and buy better equipment! He's able to turn his dream into a job and he's so grateful and happy for that.

The two of you live happily in your own bubble, Hayden being the homebody that he is, he thrives in his peace and space, even better when you're home with him. He's picked up on new hobbies in the meanwhile, mainly things to make the house a home.

From DIY to crochet, he's making things for the house left right and center and the place feels so cosy and happy.

"I noticed the new pillow covers." You said, something he obviously made, and it looks cute. "Thanks. I'm doing a selection for the different seasons." He shrugged, eating the meal he cooked for you both not long ago.

He cooked you your favourite meal, something he's always cooked for you. You enjoyed it, especially after a hard day at work.

Later that night you would watch movies together in the comfort of your living room, cuddling and eating snacks before accidentally falling asleep.

At first he was hesitant, he didn't want to feel like he wasn't giving you anything back. But in reality he had given you so much more than the both of you realised. Due to you being so busy making the money, he made the house a home and gave you a reason to love going back home to feel loved and secure.

[zimtlees]

HI !! I know I've said it a million times already but I love your art so much you're genuinely so talented 😭, I still feel so lucky you drew smth for me :)) and it gives me more inspiration for my art 🙏🙏 My obsession with adult Orel and Moral Orel came back once I came across you WOOHOOOHDJDJERRN And I was wondering, and I don't know if you already have but, if you would share more of your headcanons about him, his family, the immoral orel au, ANYTHING !!!1! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR HCS !!! I'm very invested... (y también pensé que nunca conocería a alguien que estuviera tan loco por él como yo, así que me siento mejor por eso) We've been blessed with everything you make and I get so happy every time you post :DDD and you're genuinely a very kind person so I hope you have a great rest of your day 🙏🙏❤❤ (and sorry for this long ass paragraph ask HRJHRHRBBR)

OREL HC????? Okay, first I'll say the hc I have (all silly, nothing serious?) and then I get cheesy...uh

Right, first let's start with uhhhh a silly headcanon I have is that when he was younger he wanted to be like Reverend Putty...for his great service to God and all that uh. Then when he grew up he'd want to study to be a doctor...it's a good profession for him (I know I explained this in a post a few months ago), he likes to help people, and he'd definitely give his patients loads of attention without being as negligent as the doctor in Moralton lmao. (I should do a whole post about this as I actually have a lot to say about his career path)

I'm a firm believer that at some point he continued to smoke weed...maybe in his teens?? He'd know it was wrong, but it helped him to zone out, so it was fun, plus he'd definitely hang out with people who smoked too, and Orel is...very easily influenced.

Definitely in school he'd be smart, but also REALLY DISTRACTED...and goofy, I'm pretty sure hardly any girls would be interested in him. (Maybe he also became a bit weird), he's bad at picking up hints and reading people's body language... so everyone would have to be REALLY direct if they wanted to talk to him about anything. (Aahh he'd probably have to move outta Moralton to study for a serious doctor career...then he'd have to adapt to new people...bad boys)

He'd probably only start officially dating Christina when they were both legal...and she had the freedom to leave her house whenever she wanted!!! Happy ending.

CHRISTINA IS SADISTIC-

...I didn't say anything, but if Orel is a masochist and Christina's an 'alternative' version of him then uh, I don't want to think about what would have happened in her chapter...

In his teens he'd really enjoy grunge and soft rock...uhgg I dunno, I just feel it. (Even though he's not that into music)

He's a goofy..nice...overprotective.....VERY overprotective dad, and that'd cause problems with his kids when they hit their teens...stupid (I love him) Orel..aahg, I mean, aahhh I also think he'd do loads of things that embarrass his kids!! But without realising lmao, he'd be like...trying to talk like them? That 'teen language' as he calls it haha.

IN HIS TEENS A LOT HAPPENED - UGH, not just between him and his parents...I mean also with his 'friends', even if he stopped being (just a bit) innocent, loads of people would definitely manipulate him into doing anything.

I don't think Clay and Bloberta ever divorced lmao, feel like they just stayed together and miserable...just like in that pic Orel has in his living room (Plus, I love that pic, it proves Orel doesn't hide his parents, he loves them despite everything and he'd definitely tell his kids to love them...wwgggh)

You know what I'm pretty sure about? Doughy and Orel got into a fight and came to blows in their teens, what caused it? Probably Doughy, in loads of episodes he looked like he was betraying his best mate for attention and affection from an adult...(but ugh, don't judge, it's written so well and we know why he did all that, even though that doesn't mean it was right, yeah, plus...there's no guarantee he changed after that, if we think about it Doughy had NO ONE, to teach him right from wrong), at some point he'd do a 'silly betrayal', to Orel...that'd make him SO ANGRY (cos it's not the first time) that mixed with a strong IMPULSE LMAO, he'd punch him, then he'd punch him back...and well, it'd all end with forgiveness and Doughy learning something.

And that's just a part of what I have cos I wrote a lot lmao...

[firemenenthusiast]

okay so uh hiii, first off I just wanna say you're writing is top tier, I consider you one of the best writers for Archie's characters, keep up the good work 🩷 ! second off all, the jann fic where he calls the reader mama has plagued my mind for DAYS, like literal brain rot I swear (in a good way tho lol). like I even went on character.ai and got him to call me mama on there like I'm truly down atrocious for subby jann because of you, you must've unlocked something in my brain or something 😭😭.

i don't know exactly if I'm doing this right so if I'm not just let me know and ill try to redo it but i was wondering I could make a request for you to write a few drabbles (if that's the right term, probably not) about casual dominance with subby jann please 👉🏾👈🏾, like not all of them have to be sexual, but best believe I'll have no issue with that lmao. again, I've never done this before so if it's like shitty, all over the place, and makes no sense I apologize 😭. I know you have a couple fics and stuff queued up and other things keeping you busy so no rush or anything.

domestic sub!jann

he’s a subby man, even casually. here’s some domestic headcannons of my little whiskers meow meow jann mardenborough (gt movie)

a/n: thank you anon for your kind words and request ! SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG 😭🙏🏻 i hope this is what you imagined when writing the ask :] also jann calling reader mama was stuck in my head until i actually wrote it. and i WILL do it again

- let’s start off by agreeing on the fact that jann is the clingy one in your relationship

- he’s a busy man, especially at the height of his career so whenever he’s home, he just wants to rest his head on your lap in front of the tv

- he NEEDS you to run your fingers through his hair, or gently caressing the back of his head or he’ll take matters into his own hands

- and by that i mean he will grab your hand and place them in his hair himself, but sometimes you just want to tease him. you would constantly pull your hand away each time he’d grab it and he would whine until you give up

- jann’s a snuggler cuddler. he would snuggle himself in your chest whenever you guys cuddle eventho he’s so much bigger than you. he doesn’t care, he just needs to be wrapped snuggly by your arms in your embrace

- jann does silly things at home with you, including opening his mouth at you whenever you eat together, asking you to feed him. then when you actually do he’ll chew his food with a smile that squints his eyes

- other silly things he does is INSISTING on brushing your teeth together after waking up. you’d be getting out of the bed when he’s still chilling around and he would SCRAMBLE out of the duvets to follow your back, like a puppy

- while on the topic, he really acts closely to a puppy around you

- you getting up to go get something from the fridge ? he’ll go: “where are you going ?”

- you pulling his head off your lap to go to the toilet for a moment ? he’ll go: “where are you going ?”

- if you’re slipping on your coat with the trash in your hand at the door ? he’ll go: “im coming with you”

- he knows that you’ll just make him go himself if he offers to carry it so he wouldn’t take the trash off your hand until AFTER you’ve reached the end of the hallway, before the elevator. just so he could go on that little walk with you

- you’ve never felt annoyed or irritated with him, you’ve grown accustomed to his clinginess. if anything you’re happy that he is the way he is cuz it’s not often that he’s home because his busy schedule

- he SO would beg you to play GT with him. he even bought you your own racing wheel and display, and built your whole set up in your favourite colour just so you could play with him

- you guys have your own racing room just sophisticatedly equipped with both of your set ups, a frickin fridge and a crazy sound system.

- he actually uses the sim a lot to practise, and would follow you around the house, watching you do stuffs that you told him you’re going to be busy for that you wont be able to race with him, until you’re done. THEN only he would be willing to practise happily

- if he’s feeling extra clingy ? he’d ask you to sit on his lap, facing him, just clinging onto him like a koala bear while he races

- you’re his first ever serious girlfriend, so he really cherishes you every second he could. scenario of you breaking up with him flashes before his eyes whenever you’re upset

- ego ? dont know her. he’s willing to kneel and kiss at your knees, begging for forgiveness while you sit on the couch, clearly upset with something he’d done

- most of the time it’s just you being jealous of him entertaining his fangirls, him taking selfies with them, sometimes they’re pressed up too close to him

- you love that he’s nice to them, and that he’s loved by many, but you couldn’t help but feeling jealous

- he knows you’d be, so right after the crowd dissipates he’s quick to go to you, pulling at your folded arms.

- “are you mad at me ?” “no”

- then he would rest his head at the crook of your shoulder until you give in

- jann’s also really sulky. he doesn’t really show it, but you’ll know. he’s not the type of person to be giving you the silent treatment when he’s sulking but you’ll notice he’s distracted. he would still do things with you or for you, just quietly

- sulking jann would include avoiding eye contact. jann is generally quite shy with other people, but with you he’ll make eye contact all the time. he would smile and just look into your eyes until you blush, then he’d chuckle. so when he’s struggling to maintain eye contact with you, you know something’s upsetting him

- you know how i mentioned he follows you everywhere ? so that also applies to when you go shopping for clothes. he’s your personal hype-men, a functional one at that too

- he’s not that type of boyfriend that just waits outside the store, just waiting for you to be done. if anything he’s more excited to walk into your favourite stores than you 😭 cuz he knows there’d be new clothing line that you’d want to try on

- he gives legit opinions too, he knows what type of clothes you like, the materials, the cuttings, you would be hearing him say things like: “that looks pretty but are you comfortable?” cuz he notices it’s made with material that you don’t like

- when it’s his turn to buy clothes he lives for your eyes, and your eyes only. you have a vision in mind for the clothes or outfits that you think would make him look cute, so you’d assemble an outfit at the store for him to try on. he’s not picky, he’ll get anything that you say makes him look handsome.

- guys im genuinely tweaking i need him to be my boyfriend

- both of you have your own careers so sometimes his racing schedule clashes with your work, but it doesn’t happen often

- when you actually have a very important thing to attend for your work, and he has a race on the same day, he’ll get really sad that you’re not gonna be cheering him on, or that you’re not gonna be there when he’s done

- you try to finish your work as soon as possible when he has a race, to come to his racing venue. you mostly work remotely, so you’d just finish your work in the hotel room before going to see him. you’re his emotional support, and he’d be really happy if you get to watch him on the track.

- one time he’d been informed that you wouldn’t be there because of work, and he was really sad, pouting his lips, shoulders dropped and all (he’s dramatic like that) but he’s understanding of your work, so he went and raced the best he could so he would get to tell you all about it after you got home

- unbeknownst of him, you finished early that day and were able to catch him on the track. when he got out of the car he noticed your face on the track displays, watching him from the vip viewing area, cheering him on.

- he was quick to take out all his comms wires to go see you, meeting you halfways as you were also running to go see him

- he’s a whole golden retriever puppy boyfriend, who becomes really subby in bed, whining and whimpering underneath you <3

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 12

Got real close to having another Junkan minus the Kan, however I did draw a silly little doodle of Mikan in the picture frame so guess what it still counts! Sorry No.7 you are still a freak of nature among the 100 days.

This is just some more of Junko crushing super hard on Mikan, so since I have no interesting details for the pic itself, time to discuss more personal behind the scenes stuff! So I’ve mentioned a few times that when I was first making these pics I was extremely paranoid about showing anyone, especially the public, these Junkan pieces. So I might as well go into more detail about what I mean when I say that. 

My fear was never fully based in stuff like “Oh people are going to think I’m weird” or “Oh I’m going to get harassed.” When it comes to how people perceive me as a person I care more about the opinion of close friends and the people I respect rather than the general public. I wouldn’t like it if everyone thought I was some weirdo, but I can live with it. I’m hopeful that when this project starts (as a reminder these posts were prepped before the the announcement went up, I have no idea how people are reacting as I type this) I won’t be harassed or threatened for this, but I feel decently confident that I will be okay in the long run. It’ll be annoying and definitely stressful but it could be worse. 

My fear at the time was based on how it could affect my career. I have for a long time set out with a goal to make art with the intention of bringing a positive vibe to peoples lives, and the main way I hope to do that is by working on a webcomic. That said if I post Junkan and it causes people to perceive me in a negative light, my art would forever have that roadblock. I’m sure I’d still have fans, but people are less likely to partake or look fondly towards something created by someone perceived as a bad person from what I can tell. There’s also the worry of how it could affect me financially but even back then I was certain that I’d be pretty safe on that front. I’m of course long over this, that was a result of my extreme paranoia from earlier in the year. I’m content with the possibility that this event could shift public perception of my work. How that happened will be brought up much later.

Have a great day!

BONUS MESSAGE FROM FUTURE JEM: Hey there! I haven't been making major additions to these pre-scheduled posts, however I just wanted to chime into say, yeah! Past Jem was way too paranoid! I admit this blog hasn't exploded enough to attract crazy attention, but I'm happy to say I've received a lot of nice comments and the like from people as it continues. We're only 12 days in out of 100 so who knows what the future might hold, but I'm real glad to have started posting now. Take that past me!

Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the tags are always appreciated!~

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey weird question but, with the context that while conspiracy thought in and of itself is just a sort of dangerous logical fallacy, most conspiracy theories have some kind of tie to antisemetism, are there any antisemetic aspects to gaylor theory? i can't think of how but somehow it almost always weasels in there, no matter how innocently silly something seems on the surface.

DEEP SIGH okay it's time to talk about Scooter Braun and his place in the Gaylor conspiracy

I'm not going to recap everything but will instead link you to this US Weekly article (I know, sorry) which is basically a fine summation of events despite being a bit sensationalist in calling a business disagreement between two adults a "feud"

tl;dr for anyone who doesn't want to read all of that (it's not actually that long, I prommy): in 2019 talent manager Scooter Braun acquired Taylor Swift's former record label Big Machine, giving ownership of the masters of her first six albums. Swift objected to this very publicly on the grounds that she wanted ownership over her own work and had repeatedly been denied the opportunity to buy it outright, while also alleging that Braun has been harassing and bullying her for years. ultimately, Swift has remained unable to buy back her work, leading to her steadily re-releasing expanded versions of her first six albums under the "Taylor's Version" headline.

obviously, given my stance against speculating on the personal lives of famous rich people, I'm not particularly interested in debating whether or not there's merit to Swift's accusations against Braun, although given the exploitative nature of the music industry I hardly think her claims are implausible.

regardless of whether or not Braun sucks as a person, it's important to note that he was only very briefly in ownership of Swift's discography: as the linked article above notes, he only owned them for about a year and a half before selling them off in 2020.

despite this, Braun holds what I would consider a rather outsize role in a lot of Gaylor conspiracy theorizing, with many apparently believing that Swift fully intended to come out in 2019 with the release of her seventh album, Lover, but was prevented from coming out by Braun purchasing her discography. I've seen some claim that he actively subjected her to homophobic bullying and others saying that she didn't him to financially benefit from any career boon she might have after coming out (although no one ever seems to have an answer for why she still hasn't come out three years after he sold her discography).

I can't say whether or not the majority of Gaylors, like, know or care that Braun is Jewish, but it feels tragically predictable and yucky that a Jewish man is given such a disproportional share of blame for why Taylor "can't" come out and is made a scapegoat in the ongoing effort to evade reality with "arguments" like this

(source)

... hang on, what's that?

oh man I love when a Jewish family gets put n SCARY ALL CAPS

okay so let's talk about Karlie Kloss and Josh Kushner!

as many of you probably know by this point, Karlie Kloss is the pinnacle of Taylor Swift's platonic gal pals that she gets relentlessly shipped with; I think it's fair to say that "proving" a romantic relationship existed between the two of them is the primary focus of a lot of Gaylorism.

since 2018 Kloss has been married to Josh Kushner, heir of THAT Kushner family. his infamous brother Jared is in fact Donald Trump's son-in-law and probably guilty of, like, a lot of federal crimes. that doesn't inherently make Josh a shithead or anything and he and Kloss both claim more liberal politics, although it should be noted that like a lot of rich liberals Josh does also suck pretty hard. he and Jared own a real estate management company together and were suing their tenants and evicting them during the COVID-19 rent moratorium, so that's kind of everything you need to know about him and Karlie Kloss IMO!!!

having said that, Josh being a bastard landlord doesn't make it appropriate to frame a Jewish family as having some kind of sinister interest in suppressing a queer woman's sexuality or imply that Kloss and Josh Kushner are in some kind of sham marriage. for YEARS Kloss' marriage to Kushner, including her conversion to Judaism and their two living human children, have been dismissed as elaborate turbo-bearding, with some Gaylors going so far as to allege that Kloss and Swift have actually been married for years and Kloss is just having Kushner's children for... reasons unknown... which feels like, you know. a pretty gross dismissal of a Jewish family in favor of pretending two WASPiest WASPs to ever WASP are secretly scissoring.

anyway I certainly don't think it's the most egregious or deliberate anti-semitism that's out there in the conspiracy world but are there some Gaylors blaming The Jews(TM) for forcing poor innocent Taylor to stay in the closet? resounding yes.

[jalwyn21]

I'm a recent-ish follower, so I'm a little curious about your background, were you at one point a swiftie, but got disenchanted with her and that's why you have this deep well of knowledge of and about her, or was she always like a parasocial enemy of yours. I was always a hater, I love when ppl slander her, bc she's generally regarded so highly. I'm sorry her lyrics aren't good or groundbreaking, they are catchy at best and annoying at worst. She's also taking herself way to serious as an artist (name of her new album, cringe interview for the times). Also no matter what (or who; Matt Healy) she is doing, we aren't allowed to criticize her or her actions, when we call her our for her private jet use, we get accused of double standards and how corporations are polluting way more, as if that is in any way or form a justification for her being a fucking pest

Ok, story time then. 🤗 First of all, I'm old af, I'm pushing 30s. (Más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo) 😅 So I've heard of ts ages ago but didn't care cause I didn't like her music. Never been a swi*ftie. 🤓

Then the whole Jake Gyllenhaal circus happened to the point that even Jake Gyllenhaal's sister was asked about that stupid scarf. That was the first time I properly noticed ts and I thought: what a despicable and petty girl she is. 🤮 But at least Jake Gyllenhaal had a decade long career so he was fine, and I didn't really think about her much after that.

Fast forward to 2016 when I went to see Ang Lee's new film because it's bloody Ang Lee, you know? And I'm glad I did cause it's one of my favorite films ever. And that is how I "met" Joe and completely fell in love with him. 🥰 And there were photos of him online being silly and goofy and adorable (and drunk 😹). And he was so nervous and sweet in interviews. It was just so easy to love him. 🥰🥰🥰

Can you even imagine how sad and disappointed and sorry I was for him when I found out he was dating ts? Cause I already knew what she will do to him. 😭 Like, I knew she will try to destroy Joe sooner or later and I knew that Joe won't have the decade long career Jake Gyllenhaal has to fall back on, when she tries to ruin his life. Call me Nostradamus. 😭

And for the record, Joe is still one of my favorites ever. He is a brilliant actor and a kind man. So I guess my issues with ts are kinda "personal" and kinda parasocial... 😅 In a way, I've been waiting for this sh*t storm to hit for years...

I should probably pin this for others to read when they check my account..

[majesticwren]

what's this? I don't know it came to me and now it exists there might be more to come because I am not done suffering but who knows? I'd love to say I had fun writing it but I am actually dying inside so apologies to everyone I don't know why I did it don't come for me. I still love you. bye. I'm ok.

Trigger Warning/s: angst, like major ANGST, you have been warned, smut, unprotected sex (as per usual, don't take this as example, follow your sexed! peeps), healthy relationships turns sour, impossible love (? don't know), loads of misunderstandings, buckets of angst and then some.

Masterlist

Part I.

“Allie, get a move on, we are gonna be late,” Mark called from the other room. His tone was condescending and impatient. It wasn’t the first time he tried to rush her. 

She popped her heels on, not answering.

He wasn’t wrong. They were, in fact, already late. And it was because she had tried three different outfits and nothing worked. It wasn’t her closet fault; she didn’t feel comfortable under her own skin recently. But it was also his fault because Mark always managed to be in her way as they got ready. 

Allegra loved him more than life itself. He was the companion of a lifetime, the man she wanted to grow old with. And when he wasn’t near, she could barely breathe. Mark wasn’t only her husband, he was her home, her family. And, at the same time, she could hardly stand him recently. The way he talked. The way he breathed. The way his beautiful hazel eyes were always so sad. The way he was never home. She desperately missed him, even when he was in the same room.

She strutted over into the living room blindly popping on a pair of pearl earrings he gifted her for their anniversary last year. 

“Did you hear me?” He insisted, following her moving through their house from his comfortable position on the sofa. She felt his insistent gaze on her exposed skin. He sat sprawled, spread arms across the back of the sofa and departed knees. Cocky and comfortable. 

“Yes,” Allie snapped coldly, grabbing her everyday bag to transfer her stuff over to an evening purse.

“And? You aren’t going to acknowledge me?”

“Oh,” Allie scoffed an irritated chuckle, stopping in her tracks, just now looking at him. “I am most sorry, sir.” She bowed, “How silly of me, you are acknowledged my liege. I forgot to kiss the floor you walk on. Do you want me to get on my knees and ask for forgiveness?”

“‘The fuck is that supposed to mean?” His Aussie accent twanged between his words. Allie so wanted to hate that too and the fact that he talked back enraged her, but her blood also boiled under the charm her husband’s voice had.

“Isn’t it what you wanted?”

He raised his chin discontented, “Is this one of your moments?” he then huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you looking for another fight, honey? Because I do not have the strength for it. It’s Alice’s birthday, Will has all these bits organised for her we can’t miss it.”

“Fuck you talking to me about it like I do not care. She is my best friend I remind you,”

She saw him biting his tongue. He looked away briefly, trying to hold back, but it didn’t last long. When he looked back at her, his eyes flashed dangerously, Mark puffed his chest, moving forward towards her. “C’mon then, lay it on me, baby. What did I do wrong this time?” He dared to pull a sharp smile, “We are already late, might as well be spectacularly late, don’t you think, sweet?”

His condescending tone was like a spark hitting fuel. One second Allegra was trying to hold onto her anger, trying to be considerate, trying to be responsible and the second after she exploded like a ticking bomb. 

Allie marched towards him pointing a finger into his face. “Stop talking to me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I am a fucking inconvenience to you, your stupid life, your stupid career and your stupid friends,”

He pushed her finger off his face and got up, towering over her. “And how am I supposed to talk to you, then?”

“I am your wife.” She reminded him raising her chin proudly, not backing down. She hated herself for it but could feel the clear sting of tears in the back of her eyes. “Want it or not, it means something. To me at least.” she pointed at her wedding ring, “Sorry if I am weighing you down. You don’t want to be late? Go on then. Go to Will’s. I’ll catch up when I am ready, Alex will understand.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “We are a couple. We are together, Allie.” He sounded so annoying, lecturing her. “We go together.”

“Well, it’s not like it is much different from being alone all the time. I am used to doing stuff by myself.” 

“Allie,” Mark’s anger expired quickly as sadness poured into his eyes. His dark eyebrows frowned as he clocked on the real reason hidden behind his wife’s temper.

He was gone for work more time than he could spend at home. He had missed birthdays and anniversaries and parties and important events and, often being on the other side of the world or in the mists of travelling, he was often unavailable too.

He always travelled, but being so often in America and Japan was new and it had started to strain severely their relationship irreparably. In the beginning, it was easy, it looked like a game, like a new adventure. Long weekends spent travelling around the world together, spending the days he would be home in bed, skin on skin, unable to be separated, the waiting and the longing were charged with expectation. But, in time, it slowly started to wither away, gnawing on the foundations of what made them inseparable, threatening their happiness.

They were quickly approaching the point of no return.

There were two solutions: Allegra could have dropped her life, family and career to move to America with Mark, or Mark could have dropped AEW. Both unacceptable.

He tried to reach for her, but she was quicker moving away from his grasp. “No.” There was no stopping her, her thoughts were rolling out of her mouth without her having control over her words or emotions. “You know what? Maybe we should just end it. Save everyone the inconvenience.” She did to slip her wedding ring off, blinded by her own violent emotions. 

It was easier to hate him, easier to lose him than missing him so damn much.

“Stop,” Mark gently closed a hand around both hers. His soft grasp was like an anchor suddenly weighing her down, allowing her to stop spinning out of control. “Honey,” his voice was reduced to a whisper as his other hand slid around her jaw. “Don’t say things like that.”

She hated herself. She wanted destruction. She wanted to burn what they built together to the ground because it was easier than dealing with the fear of knowing they weren’t going to last. So, she hated the way she melted into his grasp, finding relief in his closeness. 

Anger became anguish and the way he tenderly looked down at her, love pouring out of his eyes, his thumb attentively caressing her cheek, seemed to be the only salvation. 

Allegra leapt in Mark’s arms, looking for the only way she knew would have allowed her to find him, to find peace. She pulled him down into a kiss he was more than ready to give in. 

Mark rolled his arms around her and pulled her up against his solid body like she weighed nothing only encouraging her to branch her limbs around his wide frame. 

Their kiss tasted of sorrow and regret. Their passion was desperate, hanging to a thread.

He carried her back to the sofa, sinking in between pillows with her nesting perfectly on his lap. Allegra’s fingers clutched at the thin material of his shirt, as Mark pushed her dress up around her hips. Impatient fingers looked for her sensitive, hot skin through the thin material of her underwear, her tights rolling down her thighs. Allegra suffocated a moan into his mouth as Mark devoured her every breath, every thought. Determined to remind her she was his, always.

They both knew what was happening, like it happened a hundred times before; when an argument would get too ugly and emotions would steer too close to despair sex was their only resource. The only way they had, by now, was to find something to hold on to that could be worth something. 

Allegra pushed him down on the soft back of the sofa and frantically helped him undo his belt and get out of his trousers, only so she could slide on his cock as soon as possible. Her mouth gaped as she took his size, welcoming the way he filled her up entirely with rejoice. He was so big she felt him in the pit of her stomach. And God if she loved it. Sometimes, if he let himself go and would be particularly rough, it would leave her feeling like she had been split in half, but she adored the soreness and the bruises. It was a sweet reminder of how her husband could never have enough of her. Bittersweet nowadays.

Mark grunted loudly; his gaze fogged up by lust. “Fuck, honey,” he gasped, looking up at her with the utmost devotion. “You good?” He wondered attentively, his big hands wrapped around her hips kept her steady, allowing her the time to get used to him. “You take me so well, baby,”

Allegra nodded with a smile; her hands slipped around the solid column of his neck. She grabbed his throat in one palm and his chin in the other, pulling him in another famished kiss. “Fuck me,” she encouraged him, “Be a good boy for me,”

Mark whimpered to her words and gave her exactly what she asked him. His hands guided her hips up and down his shaft as the rhythm of her bouncing became frantic.

They weren’t taking it easy. There was no time for softness. They urged to be connected and needed to do it quickly because the world wasn’t gonna stop spinning for them to sort their shit.

“You are so beautiful,” he praised, looking up at her devotedly, not hiding a drop of his love for her. 

Their love for each other was never in doubt. It roared, powerful and wounded. They were made to be together, neither of them ever second-guessed that. Which was why it was hurting so bad all the time.

“I love you,” he continued, short of breath, cupping her face into his hand. 

Again, Allegra hated herself, because instead of letting herself go into his arms to complete damnation, she shut him out. She leaned in, kissing him to shut him up, famished and desperate to heal the wounds crippling them both. 

By the time they arrived at Alice and Will’s house, they were over an hour late.

The car ride was quiet. Any trace of heat left them, leaving space only for awkward shame and imposing sorrows. They sat close in the cockpit, but the distance between them felt like miles, cold and insurmountable.

Once through the door, Allegra imposed herself to put her bravest face on. She was good at pretending everything was ok.

“I am so sorry,” Allegra huffed exchanging a welcoming hug with Alice. “We tried to get here as soon as we could,”

“It’s ok,” Alice nodded on her shoulder as the two girls hung in their embrace for a moment longer. “Gave me time to mingle with everyone else so now I am all yours and we can catch up properly.”

“Fuck yes,” Allie sighed, “It’s been ages, hasn’t it?” 

“We are busy gals with even busier blokes, you know it’s never a problem.”

“It is a problem when it means I miss you so much!” They both giggled. Allie pulled back, looking at her best friend in the eye. “First of all, happy birthday my love,” they both smiled, still holding hands, “And secondly, fuck, you look so hot!” Allegra’s eyes fell on her friend's outfit, “Look at you!”

“Oh, shut up you.” Alex giggled, her cheeks blushed but she still twirled, giving her friend a view of her ass squeezed in the dress she was wearing. “Yes?”

“Hot mama,” Allie fanned herself and then, still giggling, looked over to Will who stood by Alex's side and was too, enjoying the view. He was so dumb in love with her it was almost funny sometimes. And God only knew how Alice deserved to be as happy as Will could make her. “Hey Will,”

“Hello darling,” he welcomed her in a friendly embrace. “How are you? You alright?” Will’s thick accent made him sound always so soft and warm. “Alex said you had some problems at the gallery?”

“Yeah,” she released a tiresome sigh, “Just a small flood, inconvenient but fixed now. Opening the online store was definitely what saved my finances this month.”

As Allie exchanged a hug with him, Mark moved to Alice and did the same, squeezing the girl in an affectionate hug. “Happy birthday, Alex.”

“Thank you,” Alex kissed him briefly on the cheek. “It’s good to have you around, finally.”

“Yeah,” he shrugged the awkwardness off as best he could. “Made sure to get this week off just for you.”

“You are such a kiss ass,” Alex gave him a small push, “I am sure your wife is also very happy to have you home for a while,”

The look Mark and Allegra exchanged was awkward, but they were quick shaking off the cold. It wasn’t the time nor the place for their problems to surface.

“Mate!” Kyle approached them quickly, with a massive smile printed on his face. He landed a heavy hand on Will’s shoulder before diving into a big hug with Mark. They behaved like they hadn’t seen each other in years. It had been two days at best. “So good to see you.” Allegra wasn’t sure if he was taking the piss or if he was being serious, but Mark laughed all the same, ruffling the younger’s hair affectionately. 

As the three boys got distracted talking shit to each other, Allegra and Alex exchanged a quick look. “So,” Allegra started, “Shall we start the debrief now or after a drink?”

“Come,” Alex grabbed her by the hand, pulling her into their house, but not before exchanging a distracted kiss with Will. “Gonna grab a drink with Allie, I’ll find you later?”

Allegra and Mark didn’t kiss. They didn’t touch. Their gaze crossed briefly, heavy of all the things they weren’t saying, stained by the guilt of letting their relationship get so bad. The more Allie looked into his sad eyes, the more her chest tore open. 

Their end was near, she could feel it.

Hiding from absolute destruction was easy when surrounded by people. Chattering and booze were a perfect disguise to ignore completely how her life was about to fall apart.

Alex laughed, kicking her feet in the air as Will lifted her between his arms, jokingly pretending to throw her around. Allie watched the scene; her tender affection towards those two human beings so openly loving each other was stained by envy. It stung her chest to see how their cheeks blushed as they looked into each other’s eyes, exchanging silent promises.

Without even thinking about it, her attention moved across the room, looking for Mark. She didn’t feel it coming but, suddenly, she needed to be between his arms, as close to him as possible. She needed to hear him whisper in her ear how everything would have been ok. She needed to remind him how much she loved him.

“I’ll be back,” she announced to the couple, bringing with her only her bottle of beer, thinking it would have been shield enough to cruise through the group of friends reunited to celebrate Alex’s birthday.

Allegra did a quick scan of the ground floor quickly concluding Mark wasn’t to be seen. He must have been on the porch, joining the smokers by the outside heater, she thought following her thought process and stepping outside.

The cold night air nibbled on her exposed skin. Wrapping herself in her arms proved useless in fighting the cold off, but she forgot about it easily when she recognised Mark’s large frame sitting on one of the rattan chairs.

He leaned forward into Kyle as they both checked their phones, screens side by side.

Allie was ready to slide her hands on Mark’s shoulders, hoping he would have welcomed her in one of his bear hugs, maybe pulling her on his lap, allowing her to find warmth against his chest.

The thought was enough to make her finger tremble, but she stopped when she caught a glimpse of their conversation.

“Nah. It can’t be, mate,” Mark shook his head, concerned. “Fuck,” he looked closely at his phone, “where are all these bookings coming from!?”

“What do you mean!? Aren’t you happy?” 

“I am happy.” Mark shrugged, “It’s just- looks like we are about to have the busier months of our career.”

“Shit me, Davis, light up, uh? This is a good thing,” Kyle landed a hand on his knee, “It’s our opportunity.”

“It’s not that,” Mark sighed heavily, attracting Kyle’s closer attention. “It’s Allegra. She won’t be happy,”

“Oh,” Kyle quieted down, lowering his eyes. He knew. 

“I mean Christmas in Japan!?”

Allegra was hit in the face. She knew it wasn’t proper and she knew she had to keep appearances up, at least until they would have been alone; but she barely had a grip on her emotions lately and hearing those words sent her ballistic.

“What’s that?” 

Both Mark and Kyle jumped, quickly hiding their phones away. “Nothing,” Kyle replied without thinking. Mark was smarter than that and simply tried to salvage the situation, getting up on his feet, and approaching her. “Baby, let me explain?”

“Busiest time of your career!?” She wondered, this time she wasn’t crossing her arms because of the cold but in defence, taking a step back looking for distance from her husband. “You are already busy. You already are never here.”

“Allie,” he pleaded, shaking his head. “Don’t be like that.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Mark,” a shiver crossed her and all her anger, pain, disappointment and guilt hit her violently. Tears were quick to emerge and fear slashed through her, leaving her breathless. “Christmas in Japan?” She wondered clutching at her stomach, finding it so difficult to focus.

People around them were awkwardly watching. She didn’t care.

It wasn’t even about Christmas. She couldn’t care less, but she couldn’t imagine being torn further apart from him. What would be left of them at the end of it? They were already barely breathing.

“Honey,” His face bent under his pain. Seeing her like that, knowing he was hurting her, killed him. Allegra knew it, and still couldn’t forgive him. Or herself. Mark tried to approach her, his arms opened in a peaceful offer even though he didn’t dare to step in her space, allowing her the space she needed. “I do not have a choice. It isn’t only about me,”

Her eyes shot behind him, resentful even towards Kyle, even if the young Aussie had no fault, they all knew it. 

“What’s going on?” Alex popped her head out through the living room glass doors. “Allie? You ok, babes?” She was close in a second, rolling an arm around Allie even when she didn’t ask.

“No. Please,” Allie tried to object, “I am so sorry. It’s your party, this shouldn’t be happening.” Allegra wiped off her tears, hiding them away, trying to pretend everything was ok and clearly failing. Everyone, by now, noticed something was off. “It’s ok. I promise.”

“Allegra,” Mark called her attention, shaking his head, “Shall we talk about this?”

“No.” She shut him out, “I said everything is ok.” Her body was shaken by another shiver. Maybe it was the cold, or maybe it was looking the man she loved more than anything in the eye knowing she was losing him.

Alex rolled her eyes and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. “Stop, stop,” Alex cupped her face in her hands and looked her in the eye, offering an encouraging sweet smile. “I love you and you don’t fool me.” She was ready to catch the tears that quickly followed, as Allegra hid into her hug. “Let’s go upstairs for a moment, ok? Take a minute just for us?” Alex exchanged a quick look with Mark. “I got her. I got her,”

Will popped over, siding Mark, both he and Kyle held him back, and he stayed, even if his melancholic eyes followed Allegra. Their gaze crossed as she followed Alex back inside. If he could have ripped his heart out, and make it so his soul could be with her forever, he would have done so. She knew it. She loved him for it. And hated him too, why wasn’t he making it any easier to stop loving him? 

Once upstairs, behind the safety of Alex’s bedroom closed door, it didn’t take any time at all for Allegra to fall apart. She cried, sobbing convulsively into her friend's arms, desperately gripping and leaning on the wrong person. Trying to explain the situation through confused thoughts proved to be almost impossible and yet, somehow, Alex managed to have enough patience to stay.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” She wondered running a hand up and down her back.

They sat on the floor, shoes off.

“I don’t know,” Allegra sighed, just now calming down. She was only exhausted.

“I mean, I never thought it was this bad between you two. You love each other so much,”

“I know,” Allie nodded, feeling the pain roaring in the back of her throat, ready to cry more, if only she had tears left. “We do. I love him so much I can’t breathe. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t this way. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t such a good man to me, or that maybe he had found someone else – or I did, it would be easier than this.”

“Don’t say that, babes. It’s really bad,” Alex leaned her head on her shoulder, “But I get it.”

“How do you do it? With Will and Harry and all?”

“It’s different for us,” Alexi explained, “Besides the fact that Will is a machine and doesn’t understand the concept of time so jet leg doesn’t cripple him, working together helps.” 

“I don’t know what to do,” Allie let her head roll on the mattress behind them, looking up at the ceiling. “I just know I will lose him and the longer we go on together the worse it gets.”

Alexi gave her a soft squeeze. “Why don’t you consider the idea of moving to America? It would make it easier for you both.”

Allie felt like she was facing a wall. Her breath abandoned her lungs. “I can’t leave England. My entire life is here,”

“Please don’t take my words as judgemental, ok? I watch my boyfriend break his back week in and out to be around as often as possible not to uproot Harry, but what do you have here that’s worth risking losing him?”

Allegra choked, drowning in her guilt. “I- I can’t leave my mother. And you? And all the rest of the people I know? And my career? I’ve just started to get my business running with a selected list of clients. I can’t start all over again,”

“But it’s Mark,”

“I know!” Allegra gasped, shaking her head. “Do you think I am not realising what I am losing?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.”

The two looked at each other for a long moment, as Alexi took Allie’s hand, squeezing it. “You’ll find a way, I am sure. You are destined to be together; I know it. Love stories like yours end up in movies.”

Allegra nodded, feeling her heart as heavy as ever. “I sure hope you are right.” 

Then they sat there for what felt like forever until someone knocked softly at the door.

“Alex? Allie? Can I come in?” 

Allegra jumped as soon as she recognised Mark’s voice. Both girls jumped up, except Allegra stayed back, sitting on the edge of the bed as Alex approached the door. She looked back, waiting for Allie’s permission before opening the door. “Hey,” she leaned on the door frame, welcoming Mark with an awkward smile, blocking his view of the room with the door. “You ok?”

“Could I speak with my wife, please?”

Alex didn’t reply but looked back at Allegra, checking what was her answer. With Allie's nod, she then pushed the door open, allowing Mark to get in.

He didn’t lose any time wondering. His gaze found her and he was on his knees in a moment, in front of her. He looked horrendous. His face was pale and his skin marked. He cried. His eyes looked reddened and tired. Allegra mustn’t have looked any better.

“Tell me how to fix it,” he wondered defeated, looking up at her, “Tell me what to do, my love.”

Alex lingered only a moment, making sure Allegra was fine, and then she left them alone. Just then, Allie moved, her trembling hands finding Mark’s face. He grabbed her wrists softly and pressed his lips into her palms, kissing her skin in adoration. “Tell me,” He was begging, praying like one would pray to God. “Please, baby.”

“I don’t know how to fix it, bub,” her chest was shaken by the sudden warm hope lighting his eyes as he recognised one of the many affectionate pet names she used for him. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“I know,” he started nodding, “I know what to do.” His resolution was unmovable. “I will leave AEW and New Japan. I can wrestle for RevPro, stay local.”

“No,” Allegra pressed her fingers on his lips, shushing him. His moustache tickled her fingertips. Moving without thinking, like attracted by an invisible magnetic force, she slid off the bed and onto Mark’s lap, finding bittersweet solace in the way his arms quickly closed around her. “Don’t even say that.”

He shook his head, stubborn. “Nothing is as important as you. Not even wrestling.”

Allegra’s heart missed a beat as she exhaled all the oxygen in her chest, before leaping in a kiss. Anything to shut him up. To shut them both up. 

“Absolutely not,” she then continued, hiding in the crook of his neck. His scent was intoxicating. “You won’t do such a thing.”

“Baby,” his voice was reduced to a whisper as he held her. One of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other stroked her hair, keeping her close, cradling her. 

Allegra moved back just enough to look him in the eye. She took a second to admire his features, softly caressing his face. “Wrestling is your dream, it’s who you are. I won’t allow you to throw it away.”

“You are my dream,”

“It’s not the same,” a sad smile crossed her lips as her fingers travelled across his forehead, down following his nose, back to his lips. “We wouldn’t fix it; we would only prologue our suffering.”

“How?”

“C’mon, not even you can be that dumb,” her giggle was innocent but defeated, she was done fighting. “You’d end up resenting me and I would hate you and myself for it, we’d only keep hurting each other worse than this. At least now it can end amicably.”

“End?” He gasped, his beautiful eyes tearing up. 

Allegra scooped his face up and kissed him, rolling her arms around his shoulders to keep him close. “God, I love you so much,” she whispered against his mouth, “And I must let you go.”

“Don’t you dare,” He pulled her closer, his fingers now clawing at her. “Allegra, don’t. Please.”

She was ready. Their end had arrived, there was no more running, no more pretending. How could it be any other way? 

“Please, give me more time. We are married, I am your husband. There must be something we can do,” 

She couldn’t bear to see him this way. Her lips traced his tears, holding him close. “You know there’s nothing we can do,” she kissed him softly, “And we can’t keep being together like this, it’s just going to get worse.”

“I can’t,” his breathing became laboured as he shook his head. “I can’t be without you.”

“Shh,” Allegra ran her fingers through his hair, squeezing him. “It’s ok my love, we can be selfish for a little while.”

He nodded, nuzzling in the crook of her neck. “Just a little longer. I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.”

“It will get easier,” she encouraged him. “One day we might even laugh about this.”

He lifted his face looking at her coldly. “Don’t humour me. Not when you are breaking up with me.”

“I will always love you,” she pecked a kiss on his lips, “You know that, right?”

“If that was enough, we wouldn’t be in this situation, honey.”

“I know.”

“Can we go home? Do you think Alex and Will would get upset? I just-” his voice broke, but he put a brave face on, raising his chin. “I need to be with you. Inside of you. I need to taste you, feel you, until you are branded on my body. And I don’t think fucking you in their bedroom is wise.”

“Baby,” another sad smile popped on her lips as she looked at him, completely taken. She wanted nothing more either. If only that could be their future. “I am sure they will forgive us, all things considered.”

“We are breaking up, after all.”

“Not just yet,” Allie kissed his lips, hungrily drugging him into a deeper kiss and a more desperate embrace that Mark didn’t refuse.

[parisoonic]

Your stuff is so cool! I've been looking through your older post and all the tutorials you've made and they're really helpful. I've always been kind of self conscious about getting into art so late, but seeing your stuff has really inspired me! I know I still have a long ways to go, but it's still nice to see how far others have gotten. I guess it's kind of a "Other people have done it so I can do it too if I keep going" kind of situation I guess! I don't know I'm not too great with words heh I adore all the tf2 and heavymedic art you do! I only got into tf2 a couple weeks ago, but the fandom has some amazing artist! I love seeing what everyone's done with the mercs. Sorry for the super long ask! Just wanted to say your stuffs pretty cool ^^

thank you so much!!! ;;; im working on a few more tutorials atm...yapping on line weight and quality, got one on the go about background reccession/atmosphere and some musings on 'suggested musculature' when it comes to faces but who knows when they'll be done ;; it's never too late to get into art! I only really started drawing at 16-18, then I took a massive break all the way until i was 23-24 where i started drawing again because I wanted to change careers from vfx/3D to 2d. Flash forward another 6 years and I decide I should probably learn how to draw people so I started this blog! I see so many folks on this website (and insta etc) with AWESOME art at silly young ages (well relative to my almost 30 haha) and it freaks me out sometimes i feel so old and untalented by comparison but i think that's an eternal artist anxiety lol.

Keep at it! - drawing is one of those things i'm not sure if anyone ever 'finishes' learning but there's definitely no timecap on starting! there's SO much to discover and learn across multiple different subject matters, styles and mediums :') lots of fun, indulgence and experimentation to be had!