#i'm sooooo trapped in my own mind to see that people actually like me god this is terrible
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today i realised i have a body and a name and people can see me
#met a friend from school today she was there to collect her degree and she recognised me#and my first instinct is to say i'm not saumya you got the wrong name but it was so#weird i couldn't pretend#and she was suchhhh a good friend#in middle school i guess#so i thought maybe i could reach out to other people too? i haven't talked to them in 4 years because i isolated after school bc i was dep#ressed and then too guilty to reconnect further#but maybe... also she told me i should talk to people i haven't committed a crime to feel guilty about and she's... right 😭😭😭😭#i'm sooooo trapped in my own mind to see that people actually like me god this is terrible#my school best friend even came home to check on me but i pushed her away too I AMTHE WORST FRIEND#it won't be the same but it could be something i guess but how do i even face them i created so much distance
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