#i'm so sorry about the terrible art (i'm probably not even supposed to be drawing for another week or two)

[redbootsindoriath]

Okay so I didn’t remember that International Don’t Stab Your Best Friend Day was coming up until I was in the middle of a multi-day road trip, so here’s a comic I threw together in a huge rush while traveling in a moving vehicle and then took ages uploading on hotel wifi.

Transcription:

[Gurthang:] “Hey Túrin.” [Túrin:] “Yeah.” [Gurthang:] “I still can’t get over the fact that you literally murdered your best friend lol.” [Túrin:] “...” [Gurthang:] “Like how stupid do you have to be to do something like that, haha?” [Túrin:] “Oh yeah, you’re so right!  If only there had been someone there who could have said something!  A talking sword, for instance.” [Gurthang:] “Hey now, don’t pin this on me.” [Túrin:] “‘Dude stop, it’s just us, don’t freak out and stab anybody, even though it’s dark and you can’t see anything!’” [Elf 1:] “Is he okay?  Should we...do something about this?” [Elf 2:] “Absolutely not, I am not going near that situation.”

[larrysanasshole]

Something silly about larry who comforts reader because I had a breakdown about my relationships lol

Also inspired by the song moves from Suki Waterhouse and he may be a little high idk

The school's parties have always been strangely uncomfortable events that most people attend simply because there weren't more interesting things to do in Nockfell or.... No, those were actually all the reasons why the school gymnasium was more crowded than usual. The cheapest gaudy colorful decorations hung on the walls and ceiling imitating streamers, and the tables were decorated with tablecloths in strange patterns. Not to mention the food which was the most ordinary snacks. For the most part, it resembled a normal school day, but more elegant.That's why you didn't want to come. There was no point in wasting time getting ready just because someone on the school staff wanted to throw a party to welcome spring. What was it, kindergarten?

Unfortunately, however, you ended up at this unfortunate party, or more precisely, due to your partner. Things had been getting worse between you lately, you were constantly arguing, even about silly things. Going out and having fun together was supposed to at least get your relationship back on track, but it ended just as you might have expected. - Would you please stop reproaching me! We came here to have fun!- your partner said through clenched teeth so that the others would not draw their attention to you, although the tension between you was palpable to the point of being over the top. - According to you, flirting with other girls is fun?- you asked in response equally annoyed and your voice faltered. He did it all the time, acted as if he wasn't in a relationship at all, and when you paid attention to him, the argument started. - I was just talking to them! Do you have to make it so difficult to be with you? You know what, I do not want to hear your answer. If I'm bothering you so much then enjoy yourself.- He announced in a harsh tone without even allowing you to respond only turned away the tension and went to his friends thus leaving you alone. For a moment you still stood still staring ahead before you felt a tightness in your chest.

Crying itself wouldn't have been such a terrible thing yet, if it weren't for the fact that there were people around you who knew you and who might be too pinched the next day at school. - fuck it all- you said to yourself in your mind while taking your purse from one of the tables and quickly headed towards the exit. Your heart was beating uncomfortably fast and your vision was blurred by tears wanting to run down your cheeks. You only allowed it when the still gently cool air hit your face. You sat on the stairs throwing your purse somewhere off to the side, not even anything of value was there. You don't even know what or who exactly you were angry at, that stupid party? Those girls there, that asshole or at yourself for letting yourself be treated that way. A shudder went through your body through your sobs. It was so overwhelming, believing that anything would change. Maybe you really were to blame yourself?

- Not that I'm judging, but I don't think this is where the party is- a playful boy's voice next to you spoke up, making you feel even worse. Lifting your gaze your eyes appeared none other than Larry Johnson. You were familiar with him from art class, but you never had any major interaction, occasionally he threw in some joke during class or something, but mostly you were strangers to each other. Shame mixed with despair for you. However, it did not escape your attention that his expression changed seeing your red eyes and tears still running down your skin. Surely he looked confused, but also slightly panicked? Most likely because of his misplaced joke.

- sorry, this is probably not the right moment- he added immediately with a nervous smile, and his hands began to correct the sleeves of his dark shirt.

- nothing happened, it won't get any worse-you replied without anger or irritation, and this curious thing worried him even more. He moved uncomfortably not knowing what he should do, he wasn't very good at comforting people, but he also didn't want to just leave you, it seemed just as awful. Willing or not, he also took a seat on the stairs, farther away from you to keep a proper distance, but he was there.

- You'd better not say that, or something worse will really happen.- He said wanting to lighten the atmosphere and reached into the pocket of his pants to pull out crumpled cigarettes and a lighter. You felt like crying even more. You silently wiped your tears while looking at your shoes. You heard him use the lighter, and immediately took a drag. You wondered if he was sitting with you out of pity.

- I don't know how to comfort people, if I started talking some cheerful nonsense it would hardly even help- He started to speak wanting to support you in any way. You interrupted him before he could speak further.

- This is solely my fault. I brought myself to such a state- You said raising your eyes to look ahead. Your hands were resting on your knees, it's been a long time since you felt this bad.

Larry was silent for a while, and only through the still hovering cigarette smoke were you sure he was next to you.

- I do not know what exactly happened, but if it is not a meteorite falling from the sky then you can always change something. I mean, the simplest things bring results.- He shrugged his shoulders, he really did not know how to comfort. His words were so simple and yet true and made the

that the wind was not so cold.

- Unless someone hurt you, then it all doesn't matter, please tell me it's not that- he quickly added realizing that he really didn't know what had happened. You shook your head so that sometimes he wouldn't start panicking along with you too.

- Thank goodness, in that case, what else can you do but try to make a difference?- He returned to his speech, and you began to wonder if he knew it was about your partner. You had always thought that your relationship was quite private and no one but you knew about your bickering, but now you were beginning to doubt it. You had no intention of asking, for your own comfort.

- I can sit here and cry further- You suggested quietly wiping your cheeks on which there were fewer and fewer new tears. Turning your head to the side immediately your gaze met his. He was just taking a drag on his cigarette, but at your words he raised his eyebrows.

- In that outfit? On the stairs where everyone walked by wiping their shoes? Along with Travis?- he said with feigned disbelief. Your eyes continued to be red and glassy, but instead of sobbing you burst into laughter. His words were so silly as to be funny, and his facial expression only added more to the humorous flavor of it all.

- bleh, You just made me want to burn this dress now and I feel even worse- You complained while getting up from your seat which brought a smile to his face, he was in no hurry to get up from his seat.

- I'm just telling the truth- He replied finishing his smoke with that he threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoe. You looked at him not knowing what to feel anymore. You continued to feel awful, but it was more bearable than a moment before.

- are you going back inside, or are you going home?- he asked, casting his gaze to the front door from behind which the music was still coming.

- I will go home. I'm sorry that you had to witness my breakdown- You muttered, not really wanting to deal with shame yet now, there will be a good time for that, for example, the next day.

- me? I had a nice time at the party, my couple was a little emotionally unstable, but otherwise it's pretty good.- He said once again making something other than sadness appear on your face.

- just don't tell anyone about it- You said going down the rest of the stairs. You didn't hear if he answered you and so it didn't matter now, the confusion in your head was drowning out everything anyway.

Maybe you really could have changed everything? Start all over again?

He made it sound so easy, and even if he was joking, maybe that was the truth? You wondered about this all the way back to your house.

Getting everything in order took a little longer than you would have liked and definitely longer than just crying in your room, but the final decision has already made some changes.

Being single and taking extra art classes really served you!

[overnightheartbeats]

"Oh." Every single thing that Jax had shared about Claire broke his heart further. Matt had always said that Claire didn't deserve to die, but he had tried to find solace in the fact that she was resting now. Hearing that that was not the case hurt, because his first instinct was to join Jax and help Claire in whatever she needed, but the puzzling feeling was greater. Where to even start? "But her memories, if it was just a fire, then what other memories related to her death could they possibly be?" He had initially wondered if Claire just needed to say goodbye to her family, but if a trusted officer was being requested, then it couldn't just be that.

Her laughter startled him, brows furrowing together. "I think you just won weird awards for a lifetime." Though it didn't dispel that he was probably also weird. "Thank you. Disappear from your life? Does that happen often? I wouldn't, well I won't. I am very confused right now but it's mostly on my end." Matt tilted his head as she shared the story of the family and their five-year old. It made him wonder if he'd react any differently, if he didn't know Jax. Matt figured it was possible that he also wouldn't react well if he was grief-stricken and he didn't know her personally. Not that he'd tell her that. "That's terrible. sorry to hear that. Most people just don't do well with grief, me included. Tends to make our reactions very..unexpected. Did the child find his way then, eventually?" Now that was just his curiosity. At least she took his sweater, he hoped that it'd help. "She was cold?" Just one more thing that didn't make sense. "Tortured, for what...she was so sweet and kind. Who would ever harm her?" Matt was getting answers from Jax, but none were things that made any sense. He needed time to think, put his thoughts in order, in hopes that something in there would help Claire find peace.

Tortured. No, what? "I don't understand, but I can't contradict what you're feeling and experiencing. She wasn't involved in anything that would cause any of that, no. No danger in her life - I mean, not even our jobs! She was also a museum curator, but at a museum of fine arts. We don't do anything that would put us in danger." There was one thing she had told him about, that she had discovered something huge. They were supposed to meet up to talk about it. But, they never got around to it. Couldn't be that, right? "Can she say or give any hint of who did this? Why?" Matt nodded, confirming that he trusted the person. Wally was a good friend. They messed with each other a lot, but at the end of the day, he knew there was love there. "Will do."

Matt sat with her in the living room when he confirmed that he was on his way. He didn't know what else to do but rack his brain or provide the occasional detail on Claire. He had said he wasn't ready to talk about it, but he had no choice anymore. He felt his lips draw into a thin line when Wally greeted Jax. Would she know he'd been talking about her? "Take your time, but if anything else comes up...tell me. Please."

As she stepped out of the room, Matt sank back into the sofa, covering his face when Wally asked. "God, I don't even know where to start," a groan fell from his lips. "I'm fine, yeah. It's not me. You remember Claire?" He had mentioned his friend to Wally before, and just the news of her passing, but nothing more. "Jax...well, she shared something today. Claire is not at peace, it seems. She's come to Jax, because she..." he trailed off, still finding difficulty saying the words out loud. "She can see spirits, talk to them. She can probably explain it much better than I can, but the point is that Claire is here and refuses for her case to be closed. Her family had last mentioned that the local PD was closing the case because all evidence pointed to an accident. I offered to go to the station, but she said she didn't trust the police." Talking about Claire this way was so bizarre to Matt, but once he began talking, he couldn't stop. He mentioned the things Jax had felt and what he did know about her death. How those things now didn't add up for him. He just didn't grasp the why, but he did make a mention of the big discovery she had mentioned in a phone call. "So, I called you. It all sounds insane, right? I mean, ghosts - all of that, I'm not sure. I do believe Jax, or I want to at least. I really do, but my brain is having a hard time comprehending."

"Yes. I don't know what Claire's case is like. But I think she can't talk yet or doesn't remember it so I get fragments of her memories of when she died. The brain saves it for a few moments before she officially dies. It's like I'm getting a reels of her moments but they're all jumbled. It doesn't make sense."

She had to laugh. "You say I'm the weird one. You're very different from the ones I've met before. Please take all the time you need. This isn't easy to process. I get it. But if I can request one thing. If you're gonna disappear from my life. Please just be honest with me." she nodded and scoffed. "Scam them and use their grief as a toy. One family lost their five year old when a train hit him and they said I had used their grief for my own benefit. They did a restraining order until the mom found curious things around the house being messed up. It was when they believed I wasn't lying. Their child just wanted to be forgiven. He thought the mom was mad at him for letting the train take him." Jax nodded and wrapped her arms around his sweater. "It's her. It's the feelings she's given me. I don't know what it means yet. I think she may have been tortured."

'Maybe she was tortured beforehand. Before the fire and the fire was used to cover it up to make it look like an accident. You knew her so I believe that. I can't say I've gotten hints of gas leaks in her memories. But again. I don't know much." She felt like she could breathe again not seeing her anymore. But then looked at Matt and sighed. "If you trust the person. You can tell them everything. Tell him to come here. You know the address." Jax said as she took a seat again and tried to make sense of the pieces she had gotten.

Wally had been reviewing the art gallery theft case when his phone blew up. He looked at who was texting and texted back. Hey, sure. I've got time for you always. What is up?

Not even a few minutes later he got a text with the address and that had him get up and head over. He knew the street well being on the mainland every few months. So when he arrived he wasn't dressed in his work attire. He was dressed as he would normally be at home. Knocking he waited until the door opened and reveal the tiny brunette.

"You must be Jax? Matt called." Wally smiled softly as he was let in and put his hands in his pockets walking inside. His eyes immediately scanned the room until they found his friend. The room was off, it was too quiet and that alerted him to something going on. Jax separated the pillows so Wally could sit and took the edge of her sofa. "If you guys give me a few. I'll be right out. Make yourselves at home please." Wally nodded and thanked her then turned to Matt. "Your text sounded urgent. What is really going on? Are you okay?'

[beesmygod]

i think u scared off the liberal

good. i'd be lying to say it didnt get under my skin because even adam noticed it lol. if only it were as simple as "white artist bristles when confronted about a depiction of race" instead of "a frequently hammered nerve was struck involving things anon has no context for, intentionally". grrr growl!!! i tried to talk about this with other people and then pussed out bc i realized no one cares but me. so at least i can ramble about it on my own space.

long post ahead sorry~

even putting my neurosis aside, from where i'm standing, anon's overt discomfort with a depiction of an ethnicity or race involving the use of vernacular is some real fucking bird-brain shit. anon reads "huckleberry finn" and runs off to the library to have it banned for racism lol. like, we're talking that level of intellectual cowardice that turns tail and hides when made merely uncomfortable. anon subscribes to the school of thought that being mean and making me feel bad are the worst crimes someone could ever commit. if i want to be really mean, i think anon has never spoken to another latino person outside of a service worker context.

and like, i understand the initial bristle when confronted with it. it's not as though phonetic accent writing or vernacular usage can't be invoked for racist reasons. but you would literally have to try very hard to read jack, white man for hire, as anything other than the explicit butt of the joke. the latinas poking fun at his discomfort lol wait holy shit i just realized life imitated art. am i a secret genius after all......? (no)

here are the pages in question: i asked people on twitter what they thought but ofc that way i still only hear from people who are likely to ostensibly agree with me. (click for full)

lol i just realized i missed an overlay layer on the third page. i should fix that.

this is a webcomic with almost, if not more than, 800 pages so some context: white spikey hair boy (jack) is from corpus christi, texas, a city on the gulf of mexico VERY close to the border. jack was always supposed to be from texas bc its a state i have some cultural understanding of. my dad grew up there. my dad is mexican-american. i am bi-ethnic. tri-ethnic, i guess, since the italian/irish half had a massive influence on me growing up as well.

the ladies are members of maxine's (the other protag's) witch coven. these women don't dress like this on a day to day basis (the one in the poncho might since she's a curandera, anyway), the outfits are like uhhh special occasion stuff. its your witch outfit. red bow is wearing like a day to day version of the traditional oaxaca outfits and has her hair pulled back in a traditional braid. the other is wearing just normal shit but with a traditionally patterned (or as much as i could bear to draw) poncho. the egg cleanse is a basic brujeria technique that like, every mexican family knows of at least lol. poncho is cutting the bad airs away, like in this video of a limpia.

the spit is my favorite part of all the limpias lol. WATER CANNON

all of this is just shit i know from growing up. i had to ask help on the spanish bc mine is a double whammy of being both terrible AND non-conversational (i learned all mine in textbooks ( ._.)) but the spanish code-switching to shit talk is how real people behave lol. i know this, because family and friends do it.

i take the character writing of this stupid comic more seriously than it probably deserves. i wanted to make sure it felt authentic and like these were "real" characters. having a world where the only people with personalities are the protagonists leads to a universe that feels flat and empty. a cardboard world. when i was able to use the women from a culture i know as a way to advance the plot, it was a small blessing lol. whew.

i dont really know how to talk about how this relates to me more in depth without compromising my belief that i have a right to privacy when it comes to my personal life lol. my entire existence exists on edges and borders that should not matter to anyone but me; but these details (ethnicity, race, sexuality, gender, etc and so on and you know) have a tendency to become the sole factor through which people view your work, your potential, and the expectations they begin to develop for you. currently, i think the expectations people have set for minority creators fucking sucks and i am relieved not to be a part of the ecosystem that rewards mediocrity and poor quality with accolades and purchases. looking at you, YA fiction and webtoons!!!

quite frankly: the more details people have about your life, the more they are able to scrutinize your authenticity based on their own biases (as the original anon did lol) or whether or not you are "deserving" of the descriptors that you are open about or accumulate over the years. i already have enough problems with this on my own directed at myself. i dont need input from the peanut gallery about my identity when its something ive struggled with and continue to struggle with my entire life.

i am not interested in bothering minority creators with my crybaby shit about how i feel alienated. i don't want inclusion to their groups centered around their unique and more specific experiences out of obligation when i realize the non-minority halves of me have also had massive influence on my upbringing and my beliefs. i dont like having to debates whether or not i am ____ enough to qualify for appearances on lists or databases or awards so i don't bother with any of it. i just want to grill for gods sake

anyway idk. im mad but i also realize a lot of my mad comes from offline baggage that no one is privy to on purpose so i have a hard time gauging how people will read how i write things. but bc i keep it tight to the chest i guess that invites random anons to speculate reasonably that i've transformed into a racist overnight bc they read a character say a double negative. dipshit. fucking moron

anyway

[kharmii]

Emmet: Would you want to bang me if I was an enormous stinky white dog?

Ingo: *takes conductor's cap off and pukes in it*

Ingo: Sorry about that...a touch of the flu. What's a dog? Is that like a mightyena?

Emmet: I think it's supposed to be something larger and more rank, such as a stoutland.

-So I did a drawing where the Subway Bosses are doing the same thing as the gardevoir in the Twitter link....they are looking at all the nonsense put up about them on the internet and having some sort of reaction. Unlike any gardevoir, they are probably enjoying the nsfw and wish there was more of a percentage. -Like why is 99% of gardevoir fan art on Pixiv R18, but they are only getting around 15% on the Subway Masters Yaoi tag? They are grown men! -And poor Emmet is likely perturbed that he's getting the worst representation in the dark!fics and other AUs. Ingo might be post Hisui amnesiac and relying on Emmet to let him in on what's real and what's bullshit. Emmet is straightforward and honest and willing to tell him the absolute truth...even if it shows them -or just him- in a terrible light.

I have sort of a beef with the blankshipping fandom lately, like why has it been hijacked by furries all of a sudden? What does a guy banging every sort of animal have to do with identical twins in train conductor's costumes? It's like Old Macdonald Had a Farm around the blankshipping tag, like a barkbark here and a moomoo there... (with me like here a barf there a barf everywhere a barf barf). It would make more sense if both twins were an animal in the Pokemon world, such as twin lucarios or lycanrocs in trainmen uniforms.....because they are identical twins, and people into blankshipping are into the idea of romance between identical twins. There is the one person whom I won't link to due to the nature of this post who does the hot take where, instead of being two autistic guys mistaken for zoroarks, they are actual half-zoroarks. This person is heavily into the trainwreckshipping tag. Go check them out because it's fun.

Side note: The same furries into animal farking have told me a couple times they aren't into the Melli or Volo ships. -So they aren't into the twins getting perfect ten in looks characters who are actually canon, but they'll be beastophiles? Some of them act as if this fandom is getting stale already, like Ingo has only been in Hisui since the third week of January 2022. While I'm still getting excited about reunion hugs, furries be like, "What if there were four Ingos, and Emmet two days out of every month turned into a huge stanky dog with two dicks and four balls? What if all four Ingos liked to screw the dog version of Emmet, on average, ten times more than the human version?" (And no, that isn't a commission I'm considering)

Oh well, I guess any content is better than no content. I wouldn't want to go back to when I first got into this, and the only blankshipping content was that one depressing post-Hisui story on AO3 where Emmet moped around thinking, "Before Hisui, I used to give Ingo head until I choked. Now he just thinks I'm his brother...." *sniff*

The other weird thing was that someone made a blankshipping Discord, and they wouldn't let new members view the blacked out text or adult channel unless they provided a form of ID with their birth date on it. A lot people clearly were uncomfortable about this, and the mod said that they could black everything else out except the birthdate. It seemed like bs because even R18 channels featuring irl people doing it don't require ID. They claimed it was to prevent minors from joining....in a fandom that's mostly older people like 25+ of age, and a bunch of them acted all paranoid about anti infiltration trolling. I thought it would be funny to present a fake id...but eh.

That's another thing......all this anti paranoia seems unfounded. I got some anon-hate when I first got into blankshipping, but after they all blocked me in the first two weeks, I was left alone. The blankshippers act as if they don't want to interact with the main Submas tag -because of such fear of antis- but some of the best non-dog screwing shippy content can be found on the main. Maybe the artists don't exactly mean it to come across that way, but my imagination goes there more often than not.

.................and finally, I showed a male friend on another forum my posts about Yandere fiction. He has experience hearing about the worst-of-the-worst in both the sci-fi and furry communities. I had been looking at yandere from the perspective of a female who fantasizes about being the fixation of the yandere. He, otoh, assumed the artists looked at it from the perspective of the yandere and believes that it might be coded as pedophiles who want to kidnap children and lock them in sex dungeons. What....also.....does that have to do with identical, adult-ass adult train muppets? I guess that would be true based on if the person writing the fiction were male or female? I'm used to assuming everybody in fandom is a female (or a transmale... whatever). Anyway, I'm sure this is mostly creative autism but people shouldn't get all huffy when antis are suspicious of their kinks.

[endlessdelirium]

Nothing to see here (or "We can't stop here. This is Bat Country!)

Hello from The Void! How did you get here? Well, I probably liked one of your posts, or I read something you posted that really resonated with me to the point that I broke my silence and actually responded (instead of just lurking like a creepy ghost). Or you're probably like a creepy ghost yourself and saw my username enough times or read one of my comments that made you wonder just who is this moron spouting off all this nonsense? Either way, you thought you'd check out my account and return the favor, or something, I really have no idea why you're here lol.

The thing is, I made this account years ago. I had a couple of irl friends who also had accounts, so I followed them plus a handful of other people from my interests back then. And it was great for awhile, until social media fatigue set in. This was nothing new. There'd be new social media sites that would be trendy for a time, and I'd be curious enough to try it for awhile, until I realize lol I'm not a very social person irl, why would I be better at it online? So I start losing interest until I eventually stop checking in. Even now, I am barely on any social media sites. I keep my Facebook account active because that's pretty much the only way people could get in touch with me if they don't have my number, and I'm on Reddit all the time but I barely post/comment there as well and just mostly lurk (like a creepy, creepy ghost wooohhh. Nah, but seriously, social anxiety is a real bitch!) Other than that, I practically have zero social media presence.

So I'm pretty much done with Tumblr... until Haikyuu dragged me back in. I can't really remember when I entered the fandom, I think I started watching sometime in late 2018 and I've been obsessing ever since. Reading the manga wasn't enough, I wanted more content. The Reddit sub was okay... for awhile. Eventually I wandered back into the wastelands of Twitter and Tumblr, all in my pursuit of extra Haikyuu juice. Yes, there's no point denying it, I'm pretty much an addict at this point. Stop judging me.

The thing is, I'm also incredibly lazy. I didn't see the point of creating new accounts when my old ones are still serviceable. For all intents and purposes, this account is pretty much dead. It's just, sometimes (okay, lots of times) I would scroll through Haikyuu tags and I would find something funny, insightful, pretty, interesting that I just have to like it (or is it hearting something? Sorry, I'm not really well versed in Tumblr lingo anymore) or leave a comment to show my appreciation. Which is all well and good, it's just lately a couple of people have been following my account, which isn't terrible per se, I just find it a bit weird since I haven't posted anything new in years. Really, the only thing I updated was my profile pic, since my account was supposed to be a personal one, and wasn't supposed to be dedicated to just a specific fandom so the pic I originally used was one of my irl head which is just... ick! I don't know what I was thinking. So I changed it because I didn't want to frighten anyone by manifesting my mug in their notifications, and really Hinata's head is infinitely better than my head so it can only be an improvement for my account.

Other than that, I pretty much left everything as is. I didn't have the heart to delete everything. In a way, it's kind of like a time capsule for me, still, I don't really recognize the me who made these posts anymore. I mean, I don't have amnesia or anything. I sorta remember them, but since they were made by a younger version of me, one with different interests and obsessions (I mean still share some of these things with this person, it's just a lot has changed as well, and I've since changed my opinion about some things) there's a sort of detachment as well. Which is why it feels like receiving a jolt of electricity everytime I get a new notification that someone has liked a picture or post. It's like "Huh?", I sort of remember the post, but also not really since it was litterally from years ago made by a younger and more naive me. "Okay, I guess?" is all I can say at the end.

So, what now? I still don't want delete my posts. Even though it kind of weirds me out now, I still like having it as a record. Like "Hey, this was ME! Wasn't I weird? I mean, I'm still weird, but in a slightly different way. Anyway, wasn't I a riot?" I also don't feel like making a new account. I still don't really consider myself active in these parts. I just like scrolling through my tags of interest (like a creepy stalker), liking awesome fan arts, and leaving a comment or two when I couldn't contain myself anymore and I just had to say something. I've also thought about re-blogging things sometimes, but I feel that would tip my account back into a semi-active state, and I don't feel like it just yet. Maybe in the future. For now I kinda like keeping my account as is, as a time capsule when I was still active here.

So, where does that leave you? I still don't really know why you're here, but you're welcome to have a look around. Just remember you're looking at an old account and it would help if you view it like a window to the past. I don't mind if you like anything, just know I only have vague memories of making any of those posts so I can't really discuss any of them now. If you're okay with all of that, then make yourself at home... or not, I'm not the boss of you lol.

Anyway, you're still here? And you read everything? Why? I mean, wow, what a trooper! I gotta reward you with something. You know what, here's a picture of Hinata. Did I draw it? Of course not, don't be silly! I like art, but unfortunately art doesn't like me so I can't draw to save my life. So this here's just regular manga panels of Hinata. But not just any Hinata, it's Third Year Hinata! Why? Why not? I see many itenerations of Hinata on Tumblr including Brazil Hinata, but for some reason I don't see Third Year Hinata get as much love on here. I don't really get it. He is so precious. So here he is!

Bonus: The Duality of Hinata

Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day!

[mystical-strawberry-sheep]

🍓Obligatory Introductory Post🍓

Hello hello, everyone. ヾ(･ω･`｡) My name is Aku, and I've decided to create a blog to collect all of the things I've made concerning a persona/OC of mine in one place. This is mostly just for me and any of my friends that are interested in my OC, but please allow me to introduce myself and her and tell you all a little bit about us.

🍓I am Aku! But my OC is also Aku. =v=;🍓

I use a username that often gets shortened to Aku, so that's what I call myself. ^^ However, as I existed in multiple spaces and role-played things out on occasion, my persona began to split off and become her own thing, and that's how my OC Aku was born. Since she started out as just me, she has the same name, but now she's a separate character! I often use her as a self-insert character in fandoms or as an outlet to get my creativity when it comes to certain fandoms out in one place. Each time I make a version of Aku for a fandom, that version becomes it's own separate thing. So Kingdom Hearts Aku is not the same person as Legend of Zelda Aku, even if they share a lot of similarities. Since this is confusing, I think I'll refer to myself as Princess Aku, and just make the fandom clear otherwise. >v>;;;

🍓Aku is a sheep with mystical powers🍓

I represent Aku with a pink, three-eyed sheep. Usually if I'm using her for fandom she is human (and sometimes the sheep itself is a second entity), but she has the sheep form, too. I've been in a few places where the Akusheep became the symbol of a, uh, "cult of Aku"? <v<;;; So uh. I suppose in some instances she may even represent as a goddess sheep? But literally I never created the cult myself. XD The sheep can read minds (but specifically emotions), sense life, and open dimensional portals. She's meant to be a scary but benevolent entity.

🍓I do art!🍓

I'll draw Aku and other art on occasion, so I may post some of it here. I hope you all enjoy it! I'm not the best by any means, but I certainly try. ^^;;; You can expect art of myself, Aku, and any of the fandoms I'm part of. I may even post other OCs of mine on occasion, but that'll probably be more rare. If there's something you feel like suggesting I doodle, feel free to do so, though I can't promise that I will. ^^;

🍓I write!🍓

It isn't too terribly often, but I do like to write stuff. You can ask me about things you'd like to see me write about, though like with art I can't make any promises. I'll probably write headcanons, bits and pieces of OC Aku scenes, or explanations of my character. Sorry in advance, but there's a potential for there to be OC×CC writings. I don't pair Aku too terribly often since I really like staying in canon as much as possible, but like... What can I say? I really can't help myself sometimes. Regardless of what it is, I hope you enjoy yourself anyway.

🍓I can roleplay!🍓

However! I have a hard time of keeping up with the two very limited roleplays that I'm doing already, so like it's not going to be snappy by any stretch of the imagination. I may disappear a lot. And... I don't really know how this works on Tumblr? Since I've never really had an account for this before? So someone will likely have to explain this to me. But if you want to interact with OC Aku to any capacity, I will absolutely follow suit. CC interactions as well as OC interactions, it's really cool either way. However, I really will be flying blind if I've never gotten into the fandom your character is from. ^^; I'll still do my best. I also don't mind these kinds of interactions with OOC Princess Aku (myself), so don't feel like you have to limit yourself to interacting with just my character. This meadow is for all versions and forms. ✩ᏊꈍꈊꈍᏊ

🍓All forms of Aku are Apothisexual🍓

Including myself. For those that don't know, apothisexual (or sex-respulsed asexual) is a sexuality in which one is made physically ill by physical intimacy. This is, of course, on a spectrum like everything else, but I'm just about as extreme as you can get. And since OC Aku was built from me, she has this trait as well. Everything on this blog, therefore, will be very SFW, and all writing that has any regards to romance is obviously just going to be lots and lots of fluff. By the way, romantically speaking we are all heteroromantic.

🍓All forms of Aku participate in cglre🍓

If it wasn't kind of obvious from my icon already, I and all forms of OC Aku are littles that participate in cglre or age regression as a coping mechanism and form of self-care. I apologize in advance if this makes anyone uncomfortable, but this isn't used in the sense of anything explicit (as mentioned before, that would be terrible for me). This is all SFW and meant to help me stay stable. I hope any of my cglre content helps other fandom littles enjoy their own fantasies a bit. ^^ Let's help each other out, eh?

🍓I'm a-okay with... Uh... Fan...? Work🍓

This seems a bit presumptuous, but if at any point any of you for some reason decide that you like to draw or write about any of Aku's versions, I'm perfectly fine with that as long as you give me credit and source back to me! You can also use/repost my art under the same condition. ^^; I, uh, don't think this will ever ever come up because I'm seriously not that good. But it doesn't hurt to cover my bases? I dunno. I think I would cry of joy if someone actually liked Aku enough to draw her or something. In any case, like I said, all I really require is that there be a source back to me. •v• I appreciate your cooperation!

🍓Fandoms I'm in🍓

🍓Kingdom Hearts

🍓The Legend of Zelda

🍓Yu-Gi-Oh!

🍓Pokémon

🍓Naruto/Boruto

🍓Final Fantasy

🍓Jujutsu Kaisen

🍓My Hero Academia

🍓The World Ends with You

🍓Demon Slayer

🍓Studio Ghibli titles

🍓Disney titles

🍓and more... Please ask!

Aaannd, I think that's about it! If any of you have any questions for me or OC Aku (the base version) feel free to ask them and I'll get to you as soon as I can! I don't really expect anything at all to come from this, but in any case I hope you all enjoy my presence here. Please have a good rest of your day! ᏊºัꈊºัᏊ

[kazliin]

I'm sure you've answered similar questions so sorry ahead of time if you have answered these questions before.I re-read Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches for like the sixth time. I tend to go back and re-read some of my all time favorite FFs throughout the years and I was once again blown away by your writing so I have some questions! 1. Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits? 2. How many edits/revisions do you usually do? To be cont....

LOL I'm back- continuing with question 2, how do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough? 3. How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point? 4. Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)

Last few questions haha- I wish there wasn't a word limit on these things...5. Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme. 6. Have you found that writing FF has helped you? Thank you for taking the time to read these. ^_^

 ----

No worries, I love getting questions about my writing! I’ll answer them all in order so it’s easier to read.

1)      Do you find that it's better to write everyday or just when motivation hits?

For me, if I’m in the middle of a multi-chapter fic or series, I find it better to write regularly. Motivation is a fickle thing, so I found having a set writing schedule helped me put out chapters regularly. I didn’t write ever day, but I had set days/times every week that I would devote to writing. I can be pretty lazy at times so if I hadn’t forced myself to sit down and write, I never would have finished anything!

When it comes to oneshots though, I definitely only wrote when inspiration struck. Because they are much shorter and easier to write, it was much more fun for me to frantically write one in a burst of inspiration than to try and force one out when I wasn’t feeling inspired. But those strokes of inspiration aren’t a regular thing for me so I can’t rely on them for longer fics. So, for me, I write differently depending on what kind of fic I’m writing (not a very helpful answer I know!)

 2)      How many edits/revisions do you usually do? How do you know when you've edited a chapter or even an entire story enough?

I am a horrible little writing gremlin who edits something once and then tosses it out into the world for all my readers to suffer my many writing mistakes. Is it the best way to do things? Absolutely not. But I find the more I edit the more I hate things and delete huge chunks of writing and I’m never fully satisfied. So I limit how much time I spend reworking a chapter or I’d never post it. I should definitely edit my writing more but fanfiction is a hobby, not a job. I’m not going to spend hours agonizing over a fic that I was supposed to enjoy creating for the sake of editing it to perfection. So I’d say, once you get sick of reading your own writing while editing, it’s probably a sign to stop and just put the story out into the world because fic is meant to be fun, not stressful!

 3)      How do you know when you've written too much? Everyone knows the rule of 'show not tell' but where is the line between using too much of that flower language and just getting to the point?

This is a really tricky one because it depends on what kind of fic you’re writing and your own personal preference. I like writing a lot of introspection and have a bad habit of

making my chapters far too long. Some people like reading that kind of writing but some people absolutely hate it. The majority of the negative comments on my fics are about how there is too much introspection, my chapters should be more concise, and I need to learn how to edit down my work. Which is all fair critique but hey, it’s fanfic. I like to write like that and so I’m going to keep writing like that. And people who like short, punchy fics that get straight to the point are going to keep writing they way they like too. There’s no right or wrong way to write fic, just the way you like it.

When it comes to writing your own fic, whatever is best for you is usually whatever you find most natural to write. If you naturally write shorter chapters there’s no need to make yourself bored and unhappy by trying to drag them out with lots of flowery language. But if you naturally just let your words flow free and write lots of flowery descriptions, there’s no need to frustrate yourself trying to edit it down too much. I’m a firm believer in fanfic being fun. So write in the way that you enjoy. If people don’t like it, they can go read another fic. Different people have different tastes, so you have to write for yourself first and everyone else second. A fantastic chapter could be 1,000 words or it could be 30,000, as long as it’s written from the heart.

 4)      Have you worked on an original story or have you been published already?! I would love to read an OG work. :)

I unfortunately have not! I may one day but I don’t currently have any plans to

 5)      Any tips for how to not compare yourself to other writers? I have this problem in both writing and art. I do a piece and then look or read something that someone else produced and then table flip my desk because their work is significantly better and then I'm that 'this is fine' meme.

The best way I’ve ever seen someone address this situation is in this comic.

 In fandom, it’s really hard not to compare yourself to other people, especially with so many talented people producing content! But there are a few vital things to remember, the first of which being the two cakes philosophy in the comic I linked. Sure maybe someone produced something that you think is better but I guarantee the audience isn’t thinking “oh this thing isn’t as good as that thing.” They’re thinking “hell yes, more things!!” All content is good content because it’s content that keeps fandom alive.

 Also, we are all terrible judges of our own work. I guarantee if you asked the author/artist of your very favourite fanwork about their own work they’d be able to point out 100 tiny flaws you’d never seen. So when you’re looking at your own work, remember that you’re probably being overly critical of yourself and your intended audience are unlikely to notice even a fraction of the problems you see in the things you create.

 And finally, don’t be too harsh on yourself because the more you do something, the more you improve! Some writers/artists in fandom also do writing/art professionally. And even if they don’t, some have been producing fanfiction/fanart for many years, so they’ve had huge amounts of practice. So you’re doing yourself a disservice by comparing yourself to someone who might have been drawing/writing for years more than you. I guarantee if you read the first fics I wrote when I was 12/13 (thankfully purged from the internet now because god were they terrible) you would think they were a flaming pile of trash because they were. And I used to look at other writers and think I’d never get as good as them because they just seemed to write amazing things so naturally. But it takes years and years of practice and gradually you get better and better. So if you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else and getting disheartened, try to remember there was probably a time they were doing the exact same thing! And if they kept going then so can you!

 6)      Have you found that writing FF has helped you?

It definitely has! I started writing the Rivals series when I was at a very low point in my life and it was a very cathartic experience for me. And it was also such a great feeling to know people were liking and reading my work! It helped me through some tough times and even though I haven’t written in a while, I still sometimes get comments on my old fics that absolutely brighten my day! I love fanfic, both reading and writing it, and it’s been a very important part of my life for a long time

[sushigirlali]

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Epilogue 

Summary: Grifter!Rey helps U.S. Senator Leia Organa's son, Ben Solo, out of a jam when a couple of muggers invade her turf. Afterward, she debates robbing the rich American herself, but can she protect her heart while stealing his?

Pairing: Rey + Ben Solo | Finn + Poe Dameron

Rating: E

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: For the first time ever, I’ve actually written most of the story before I started posting! I think it will be way less stressful since I don’t have to “keep up” with updates. New chapters will be posted each Friday. Enjoy!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

If You Don't Love Me, Lie To My Face - Part I

By: sushigirlali

——————

Kennington, London

——————

There are moments in life that make you question everything that came before. A look from a stranger, an incident at your job, a terrible movie... things Rey Niima was usually able to push past without pause, but tonight, she was finding it extremely difficult to ignore the feeling that her life was about to change forever.

"Hey, give us your wallet!" A pair of brawlers had cornered a man at the mouth of a nearby alley, drawing Rey's attention as soon as she stepped out the back door of her favorite pub, The Black Prince.

"Excuse me?" the would-be victim responded indignantly. His voice was deep with an American lilt, his stature intimidating.

Did these fools really think they could steal from a man like that? But then, not all criminals were as intelligent as her.

"You heard me! I want your wallet!"

Rey hung back from the potentially violent situation unfolding before her, sizing up the assailants. Their outfits were all black, including the ski masks covering their faces, but she couldn't see any identifying marks or gang affiliations. "Must be lone wolves," she thought.

There was something familiar about the tall one doing the talking, but she couldn't place them. It probably didn't matter, though, because the redwood with the nice accent looked like he could take the both of them with one hand tied behind his broad back.

Still, for some reason, she was finding it hard to walk the other way. Definitely not because the man was the most striking person she had ever seen. No, it had to be due to the fact that these bums were causing a ruckus on her turf. At least, that's what she kept telling herself, frozen to the spot as she was.

"Listen, I just got done volunteering at a shelter all day and just want to get home. Please allow me to leave unmolested."

"Volunteering at a shelter?" she muttered under her breath. "Well, fuck. But it's not your business, don't get involved." Rey was turning around to go back inside the pub when the sound of a gun cocking drew her up short.

"Don't make me repeat myself again, pretty boy."

"Whoa, hey, there's no need for that!"

"Then empty your pockets! Now!"

"No," he said crossly. "Put that thing away before somebody gets hurt."

"Dammit," Rey groaned, retrieving the silver baton clipped to her belt. Sometimes, she really hated having a conscience; in her line of work, it was a real liability.

"Hey, get your hands off me!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," she growled, resolutely stalking toward the turbulent scene. "Oi! You lot!"

The big guy and his sidekick paused to look in her direction. "What?" the leader said in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Not a guy," Rey mused. "Based on your absolutely abominable bullying technique, I don't think you're getting that guy's wallet any time this century, so why don't you just leave him alone and move along."

"Excuse me?" the woman said threateningly.

"I'm sorry, did I stutter?"

"You move along, little mouse, this doesn't concern you!" the shorter guy spat.

"You do know who's neighborhood this is, don't you?" Rey said tauntingly.

"Yeah?" the first one said dismissively. "So what."

"So, knock it off! We don't need the fuzz coming down here because some hooligans are roughing up a foreigner."

"Hooligans?! And who the fuck are you?"

"Me?" Rey sneered, flicking the baton out to the side so that it extended into a long poll. "I'm no one."

"Phas," the skinny guy said nervously, obviously recognizing her at last, "we should go."

Rey had never been so proud of her reputation as a grifter who was just as likely to steal an expensive piece of art from the peerage in an elaborate heist as kick a thug's ass in the street.

"But the boss—"

"He'll understand."

"But—"

"Phas!"

"Fine. But don't think this is over!" the woman yelled before running off with her companion.

"Well," the American said slowly, "that was an experience I never wish to repeat again." He smiled at her. "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Rey replied gruffly, still riding high on adrenaline. "Do you always walk around by yourself at night in a city not your own?"

"Do you always save unsuspecting passersby from thieves?" he retorted.

Her phone went off, but she didn't answer it. Up close, the man was even more attractive than she had initially thought. "Suit looks expensive, too… and is that a Breitling?" Perhaps it was her lucky night after all. "Only if they're handsome," she said smoothly.

"Oh, uh…" he flushed at her compliment.

"Hmm… not the reaction I expected." It was kind of refreshing, though. "Sorry, I—ugh, one sec," she said as her cell went off again. "My brother," she explained, checking the caller ID. "I have to take this or he'll just keep phoning until I pick up."

The man shrugged, "No problem, I'll just wait over here." He stepped up onto the curb and walked a few paces away.

Rey nodded and lifted the phone to her ear. "What?" she said shortly.

"Who's the stiff?" Finn asked without preamble.

"Nobody."

"Right," he huffed. "Are you working him?"

"Undecided, stop pushing."

"Whatever you say, Rey. Just be careful."

"I will. Where are you anyway?" she said, humored by his tough older sibling act.

"Hanging outside the pub, just around the corner. Why? You need me?" Finn teased.

"No, I'll catch you later. Don't wait up." She ended the conversation before he could respond and stuffed the phone into her back pocket. "Sorry about that, uh…?"

"Ben," the stranger supplied, moving closer again. "Ben Solo."

"I'm Rey," she said, holding out a hand.

Ben's lips quirked and he gave her a firm handshake, his huge hand dwarfing hers. Rey felt a shiver run up her spine at the brief contact, but she shook it off.

"So, what's that for?" he indicated the weapon still in her hand. "Joining the circus?"

"No," she grinned, "it's a bo staff. I use it for self defense."

"And the defense of others," he said warmly.

"On occasion." She folded the bo staff back into a baton before reattaching it to her belt.

"Can I get you a drink?" he nodded toward the pub. "To say thank you?"

"I was actually on my way home before I… bumped into you."

"I could… walk you home? If you want." He didn't sound desperate, but it was a near thing.

"I'm not from around here," she said evasively. She couldn't really bring him back to her base of operations, which was only a few blocks down the street, but she didn't want to stop talking to him either. "What a dilemma."

"No? Where are you from then?"

"Nowhere."

"Okay… Well, I promise I'm not a pervert or a serial killer or anything," he said earnestly, "so you can come back to my hotel with me if you want. It's late and I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

She crossed her arms. "Because I'm a woman?"

"Hey, I'm 6'3" and double your weight and I almost got jumped like ten minutes ago," he reminded her. "It can happen to anyone."

"Fair enough," she allowed, lowering her defenses. "Still…"

"I can call my security detail if you want verification that I'm not a psycho," he offered. "I'd just like the opportunity to get to know the woman who saved my hide."

Rey's interest sharpened. "That's sweet, but uh… security detail?"

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly. "My mother is a U.S. Senator. I'm in town on her behalf. She was supposed to come herself, but her re-election campaign is heating up and she couldn't spare the time."

"You disapprove," she said perceptively.

Ben's dark brows shot up. "Yeah, actually. You a mind reader, Rey from nowhere?"

"Something like that," she smirked. "I prefer the term grifter."

"Grifter?" he said curiously. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Oh, you know," Rey winked for effect, assuming the privileged American was about to run in the opposite direction, "I swindle rich people out of their valuables by preying on their weaknesses. Basically, I'm a professional bad guy."

Ben looked hopelessly confused by her explanation. "But you just helped me."

"Well, sometimes I like to help out the little guy." Rey looked him over. "Little big guys too."

"Like Robin Hood?" he said, disarming her with a crooked smile.

"What? I wouldn't say I'm—I'm a hero or anything," she stuttered.

"Well, you're my hero," he said smoothly, holding out a hand. "That's my driver pulling up over there, in the black Jag. Join me? Please?"

"I… okay," she agreed, placing her hand in his, "but just for a little while." This time, she couldn't ignore the shiver.

——————

Alarm bells should be going off in her head, but Rey felt perfectly comfortable with her new companion. It was odd, considering her trust issues, but Ben didn't seem to be only interested in her looks. And she knew she looked good tonight, her dark leather leggings were basically painted on and her lacy bra was visible through a mostly sheer black tank top. Add on her subtle smoky makeup and half-up hair style that emphasized her cheek bones and...

"Rey?"

She loved the way he said her name, almost like a caress. "Yes?"

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet."

"Oh, sure," she said, never one to give up a free meal. Though she did kinda wish something else was on the menu… "What is wrong with you? You just met the man! Note to self: masturbate more."

"Chinese okay?"

Her mouth watered. "Perfect."

"What do you like?"

"Besides you?" she said without thinking. "Uh, I mean—anything, really. Noodles, if they have them."

Ben let her comment pass, but he was beaming. "I like noodles too. Maybe some kind of chicken? Orange?"

"Excellent," she seconded.

"You're easy," he said, but then caught himself, looking horrified. "I mean to order food for, not—"

"It's okay," she laughed, patting his thigh. "I know what you meant."

"Sorry, I haven't done this in a long time," he said sheepishly, catching her hand before she could remove it.

"This?"

"Gone on a date."

"Oh." Was this a date? Rey couldn't remember the last time she had been on one. Pretty much anytime she'd been alone with a man not her brother in the past ten years it was because she intended to rob them.

"Not that this has to be a date," he said quickly, releasing her hand. "Sorry, I keep saying stupid things."

Dammit, but he was cute. "You don't have to keep apologizing," she replied lightly. "Let's just have dinner and talk and see where that takes us." Maybe the night would lead to some fun extracurricular activities, maybe not, but at least she'd be able to case his place. Based on what she knew so far, the guy definitely came from old money. "Just keep reminding yourself that he's potentially a mark, not a boyfriend, Rey."

"Sure," he smiled, looking relieved. "Hey, Poe?" he said to the driver. "Can you pick up some food after dropping us at the hotel? We're starving."

——————

Ben fumbled a little opening the door, but quickly recovered and ushered Rey inside with a gallant sweep of his arm. The hotel was nice, but not extravagant, something she found odd for the son of a U.S. Senator. Then again, he had apparently been helping out at a shelter all day, so maybe he really was as down to earth as he seemed.

"The bathroom is through there if you need it," he pointed toward the bedroom.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay, I'm just going to grab a quick shower. Poe should be back within the hour, so make yourself at home."

"Can I join you?" she was tempted to say. "Sure, I'll just watch the telly."

Ben nodded and left the room. A few seconds later, Rey heard the water start. Flipping on the TV, she left it on the cartoon channel before having a look around.

There weren't any expensive electronics or pieces of art in plain sight, so Rey could only assume that anything valuable would be in his room. "Oh, well, nothing gained, nothing lost. Better update Finn, though."

Yanking her cell out, Rey sent a quick text to her brother with Ben's name, the hotel's address, and a couple sentences about the modest state of his living room. He answered her almost immediately, sounding concerned.

Finn: Are you sure about this bloke? If you're not there to rob him, I assume that means you're interested in something else?

Rey: Yes? Maybe? I don't know. We just met, but…

Finn: At least text me later, okay? So I don't have to worry

Rey: I will. Love you 3

Finn: Love you too, peanut

Finn: ...check the room safe if you get a chance. Those types of hotels always have them and you never know what might be inside ;)

Rolling her eyes, but knowing he was right, Rey listened for a moment. It sounded like Ben was still in the shower, so she took the opportunity to pop into the bedroom and search his closet. A standard issue hotel safe was at the back, surrounded by some very nice black suits.

It wouldn't have been hard to crack the safe if she had her gear, but her heart wouldn't have been in it even if she did. She didn't want to rob Ben Solo, which was a first. Still, she did appreciate a challenge...

"Did you need something?"

Rey whipped around to see her host in nothing but a low slung white towel. "No, I—uh…"

"Would you like something to change into?" he inquired kindly.

Unable to respond with his magnificent chest and long thighs on display, Rey just shook her head in the negative. His brow creased and she felt like a kid who had been caught snooping for Christmas presents. "Shit, shit, shit, I've totally blown it!" Backtracking to the living room, she wasn't surprised when he followed. "What should I do? Oh, god, I don't want him to think…"

"Rey, what you said earlier… about being a… what did you call it? A grifter? Are you—mmph!" he started, unable to complete his thought as Rey impulsively reached up to kiss him.

But instead of pushing her away and demanding an answer, Ben threaded his fingers through her hair and dragged her closer. Taking his response as permission, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, gripping his bare back as the kiss went on and on.

Somehow, they ended up next to the couch. Rey pushed Ben into a sitting position and climbed onto his lap, rubbing her clothed core against the tent in his towel. "Rey," he whispered, lips trailing down to her neck, "Rey, I want you."

"Yes," she responded as he reached for her waistband. Coming up on her knees, she growled when he yanked her leggings and underwear down her hips with one forceful tug. Things were getting out of control, going too far too fast, but she didn't care; she wanted him too. "Help me," she demanded, legs trapped by the constricting garments.

"I've got you," he huffed, reaching behind her to unzip her black combat boots and pull her pants the rest of the way off.

Meanwhile, Rey tore her top and bralette over her head before going to work on the towel barely covering his lap. "Wow!" she blew out a breath, zeroing in on his ardent erection when it was uncovered. He was big, maybe bigger than anyone she'd ever been with. Would he fit?

"Fuck," Ben sighed, sitting back to stare at her body, "you're beautiful, Rey."

Feeling weirdly shy about the sincerity in his sinful voice, Rey kissed him again in lieu of a response, reaching between them to spread herself for entry.

"Wait," he said, gasping for air, "what about protection?"

"Implant," she mumbled, rubbing her slit against the tip of his penis. "I'm clean, are you?"

"Yeah, I haven't—oh, god—uh, done it in a while."

"Good." She felt strangely possessive of him, this man she had just met. It pleased her that he didn't sleep around. "Fuck me, then. Raw."

Ben slammed his mouth down on hers again, positioning his dick with one hand and gripping her left buttock with the other. But he didn't ram himself home, instead he teased her hole, sliding only a fraction of the way in before retreating. He did it over and over, mimicking the action with his tongue until she was incoherent with desire, squirming, imploring him to fill her…

And then he was, and she found that he fit very well inside her indeed. His thick cock seemed to be made for her, hitting all the right spots and ones she hadn't even known existed until now. "Ben!" she cried, furiously pumping her hips in time with his thrusts. "This is—you're—"

"I feel it too!" he returned, palming her breast and teasing her erect nipple. "From the first moment I saw you, I—"

She licked his mouth, begging for entrance, not wanting to hear his sweet words even as they made her heart soar. He opened for her, but was obviously frustrated that she had cut off his declaration. Before she knew it, the hand squeezing her ass drew back and lightly smacked against her butt-cheek.

"Oh!" Rey jolted at the slight sting, but it wasn't in pain. On the contrary, she requested, "Again! Ben, do that again, please! I'm—"

Knock, knock.

"Oh, shit, Poe's at the—"

"Don't you fucking dare, Ben Solo," she growled, bouncing up and down on him with renewed vigor. But the driver started knocking harder, likely because of the guttural sounds erupting from Ben's throat. "Come on, man, can't you tell we're busy?!"

"But—shit!" Ben hauled her against him, no longer playing, just looking for relief before his friend broke the door down.

Rey found his soft grunts and swears endearing, so she took pity on him and increased her pace even further. "Come for me, Ben," she instructed, grinding down on him with all her might. "Come now and then we can eat. Or you can eat me, whichever you prefer."

The dirty talk seemed to work, because in the next minute, Ben was biting down on her shoulder, shaking with the force of his orgasm. Not far behind, Rey led his hand to her swollen nub, needing just a hair more stimulation to tip over the edge. Almost instantly, his trembling touch sent her into climax. Still vaguely aware of what's-his-name banging on the hotel room door, she pressed her mouth to Ben's pectoral to muffle her cries and came for what felt like ages…

"That—was—amazing," Ben panted, hugging her so tightly she thought she might pop. "The—best—I've—ever—had!"

"Me—too," she couldn't help but admit.

Loosening his hold, Ben cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly. "Thank you."

"Ah—you're welcome," she said, smiling like an idiot. Before she could lean in again, Poe resumed making his presence known.

"Ben? Are you okay? Answer me! Did that woman kill you? Your mother will be so pissed if you're dead." He hit the door again. "Either answer me in the next ten seconds or I'm going to get security!"

"I'm fine, great, alive, whatever!" Ben called back loudly. "And annoyed," he said to Rey. "Go into the bedroom for a minute while I get rid of him."

"Okay," she agreed, gingerly getting up. They both groaned when he slipped out of her, which Rey found gratifying. "Can I use the shower now?"

"Sure, there are towels under the sink. My sleep shirts are in the top drawer of the dresser," he offered.

"He wants me to spend the night?" she mused, feeling giddy and terrified all at once. "Alright," she said aloud, picking up her clothes and disappearing into the bedroom she'd been casing earlier, "call out if you need backup."

"Will do," he chuckled, "will do."

——————

Ten minutes later, Rey emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh and back in control. Picking a long sleeve shirt out of Ben's dresser at random, she pulled it over her naked body before toweling off her wet hair. The black cotton was as soft as it was big, but Rey didn't mind; it smelled like Ben.

Catching her reflection in the floor length mirror by the closet, she was amused to see that the garment fell to her knees like a sack, giving her already slender body exactly zero shape. "Oh, well, it's not like I plan on wearing it lon—"

A disturbance in the living room suddenly diverted her reverie. Sneaking to the door, she carefully cracked it and peaked out.

"You can't just keep her here!" Poe nearly shouted at Ben.

"Keep your fucking voice down," he snarled back. "You're not my boss or my mother and you can't tell me what to do. I'm a grown ass man!"

"Maybe so, but you're acting like a teenager! You can't just sleep with some chick you picked up off the side of the road when Leia is counting on you to—"

"I told you," Ben said through gritted teeth, "she saved my ass and I wanted to get to know her. I didn't hire her for the fucking night!"

"Could have fooled me," Poe scoffed. "For all you know, she could have been in on the attack and—"

"Get out!" Ben ordered, clearly at his wit's end. "I'll call you when you're needed again, if you are."

"Are you firing me?!"

"Not yet," Ben said grimly, marching to the door and flinging it open. "Just go before I forget that you're my best friend and say something I regret."

"Fine," Poe said, storming out of the apartment. "Let me know when you come to your senses!"

Ben slammed the door shut, then turned around and leaned on it. Scurrying back into the bathroom before he caught her eavesdropping, she started combing her hair, attempting to look natural in case he came in after her. When he didn't, she tried not to feel disappointed.

Leaving her damp hair hanging loose around her shoulders, Rey found him sitting at the dining table in his towel with several brown paper bags in front of him. He looked lost in thought and she hoped he hadn't taken Poe's opinion about her motives to heart. "Wotcher, Ben?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?" he said, looking up at her. "Sorry, I was just...uh…" The arrested look on his face made her toes curl. "Wow, you look amazing."

"This old thing?" she joked, sidling up next to him. "I borrowed it from a mate."

"He has good taste," he said, opening his arms.

"I certainly think so," she said coyly, moving to sit sideways on his lap. Rey curled one arm around his neck and placed the other one on his chest. "Are you still hungry?"

"For food?" he choked, holding her so that she wouldn't slide off.

"Food," she nodded, leaning her forehead against his, "and other things."

One of Ben's large hands inserted itself between her thighs. "These kinds of things?" he murmured. "I think we can—fuck!" he bit his lip as he discovered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath his shirt.

"We can certainly fuck," she teased, "but—oh!" Rey gasped as he stood with her in his strong arms. "Ben? What are you…?"

Before she could get the words out, he'd pushed their dinner out of the way and laid her down on the table. Placing the backs of her knees in the crook of each arm, Ben pulled her forward until her butt was on the edge of the table and her pussy was level with his mouth.

"Having dinner," he said in the most ridiculously sexy tone of voice she'd ever heard, flipping his nightshirt up so that she was bare from the waist down.

"Oh, god!" she whimpered as he lowered his head. "Ben, you don't really have to—ah!" Gripping the back of his head as he started to lick her folds, Rey shuddered every time his long nose bumped against her clit.

"Enjoying yourself?" he said a little arrogantly. "Is this why you came home with me? Cause you wanted me to make you feel good?"

Considering how very well he was treating her, and the uncertainty on his face, she decided to play along. "Yes, Ben, I wanted you the second I saw you!"

He smiled slightly, then resumed tasting her. "So, does that mean you want to come?"

"That would be lovely," she sighed, enjoying the pressure of his wide mouth.

His mouth quirked at that. "Never heard sex described that way before."

"Then you're doing it with the wrong people."

"Oh?" his gaze turned hot. "And how many people have you been doing it with?"

"Not many," she said hurriedly, "and not in a long time."

"Good girl," he said silkily. "So, if I were to put my fingers inside you, would your cunt feel… full?"

"Yes!" she panted, so wet she was dripping onto the table now.

"Let's see then."

Arching her back as he slid two fingers inside her body, Rey realized that she had never really known sexual satisfaction until tonight. She was twenty-five and still basically knew nothing about sex and relationships. "Huh."

Ben stopped moving, lifting his dark head to look at her. "Rey? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily. "I guess I've just never felt this way before."

He held her eyes for an extended moment, amber striking against hazel. "Yeah, me too." And then he was fingering her again, sucking and teasing her slick opening until she was crying out his name in ecstasy.

Afterward, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them. Needless to say, they skipped dinner that night.

——————

Rey grunted as she felt Ben leave the bed the next morning. He had been her heater since the sheets and pillows were strewn about the room. "Come back," she said hoarsely, throat worn from use. "I'm cold."

"Just a moment," he laughed, opening the bedroom door to fetch something from the living room. "Your cell has been going off for an hour straight."

"My cell?" she yawned. Then, "Oh, no." She sat bolt upright. "Wait! Don't—"

"Rey?" Ben called in disbelief. "Who the fuck is Finn?"

——————

A/N: I love Kingsman and always think about Rey being a punk with a heart of gold like Eggsy. I didn't include the spy angle, but I was able to visit The Black Prince, where scenes were filled for the movie, a couple years ago and have fond memories. Anyway, reviews are appreciated! <3 

[one-piece-dumpster-fire]

QueennNnn!! Your art isn't awful! Its friggin beautiful and you can't change my mind!!💖💖💖💖💖 Also, while I'm sending an ask, can I have some more information about your adorable babies👀👀 (I wanna make more drawings for them uwu💕)

Ahhhh alrighty alrighty, I’m not gonna argue with you sweetie hehe😂💖! I’m just,,, super happy that you all like my art so much huhuhu, and thank you for always being such a dear to me💖💖💖!!!

AahhaAAAAh, about the babies—-🙈🌠💖! I’d be absolutely honored and delighted to tell you more about them!!! I don’t know if I should put this under a cut or not though because…. phew…. it’s gonna be a bit long xD (and I also don’t have any good drawings left of them and unfortunately need to use some terrible old sketches because??? I don’t draw our children often enough??? Pffff that still needs to change💕)

here’s a warning for me being indulgent and swooning over my Crachelle babies up ahead xD!

——–

Trifle

She’s a true Daddy’s girl through and through xD Her hair color is actually a very light pink but with slightly purple undertones, basically a mix of Angel’s and Big Mom’s hair- aaaand she got my bright, blue eyes😂 Trifle is a very open-hearted and kind girl, although she tends to be a bit too dreamy sometimes! Her father is her ultimate hero and she wants to be just like him while growing up. Many of her clothes are actually mirroring that as well, and she even started to put a special kind of fire-crackers into her hair to further showcase her close bound with Papa Cracker lol. Unfortunately though… she never really knows what she actually wants and is more than once lost in her own little fantasies, which can occasionally come to bite her. Flambe is Trifle’s favorite aunt and often helps her when she’s dealing with yet another girl crush again huhu xDD

Fun fact: when she was little she used to plant ‘magic seeds’ (rocks) in our garden, hoping that they would grow to give her a little sister someday. (yes, Cracker and I really regret watching Thumbelina with her)

Pretzel

Although Trifle tries to imitate her Papa as good as possible, it’s actually Pretzel who is stuck with resembling Cracker the most- but only appearance-wise! As you can probably tell, he’s the spitting image of his dad… minus the lack of eyebrows and some other little details haha xD Pretzel is a bit of a shy boy who tends to overthink certain things and often has some difficulties with making new friends- but once someone spends a bit of time with him, he truly thaws up to be one of the coolest people around! His relationship with his father is rather strained, mostly because Cracker has many high expectations for his oldest son, and if he doesn’t live up to them…. well, things can get a bit problematic xd Pretzel also got a hearing problem and communication is a little difficult, but he’s always doing his best to let people know about how he feels! His favorite uncle is Oven, who often helps him with training and getting stronger.

Fun fact: Pretzel actually dislikes his name. A lot. The fact that he was basically named after a sword constantly haunts him, even if he tries not to think about it lol

Eclair/Anne

Nothing about her ever stays the same for long, since Eclair is a true free spirit! Her natural hair color is a rich brown with some lilac undertones, but it can be rather hard to tell because she loves to change it on an almost monthly basis! Out of all the siblings she’s probably the smartest and most cunning, and always knows just how to get her way xD Eclair often pretends to be naive or even somewhat stupid so people will leave her alone or to avoid certain duties lol, but depending on the situation she might actually show her true colors to help those that are dear to her! She prefers to do things that bring her fun or pleasure rather than strict chores, and one of her favorite hobbies is painting pictures to express herself! She’s the anti-social bee of the family, although her parents often nudge her to be a bit more open and find friends xD Her favorite uncle is Mont-d’Or and she also enjoys spending time with Amande, since they can both understand her more introvert behaviour and love for artistic outlets!

Fun fact: she’s actually a bit short-sighed and supposed to wear glasses, but she never does! And if her parents were to ask her about it, she’ll simply respond and say that she ‘lost’ them again lol

Dodger

Did you ever ask yourself… ‘what if there was a kid that’s basically just like Cracker, only 100 times worse?’ no? Well too bad, because that is exactly what you’re getting with Dodger! Oh boy, where to start… as far as appearance goes, he’s a pretty solid mix of his parents- his hair is similar to mine (only more wild and spikey) while his eyes and face resemble his father. But his personality is just…. too much to handle for the both of us! Dodger is truly the definition of ‘troublemaker’, as there is not a single day where he doesn’t get caught up in some drama! He’s an unstoppable bundle of energy and keeps his good traits hidden for most of the time, since it’s soooo much more fun to just get on people’s nerves xD To make matters worse, he also has a deep love for stabbing things. Mostly inanimate objects though, but still!!! Best be careful around him! Other than that, he actually dreams of becoming strong and powerful like his Papa, and sometimes sneaks into the Seducing Woods to train his ‘intimidation tactic’ on some unsuspecting homies. (He basically wants to be able to make them wither away in fear, similiar to what Cracker did xD) His favorite aunt is Angel, whom he always plots new pranks with!

Fun Fact: His relationship with his Pa is pretty good, but there was one incident that left Dodger slightly fearful of him…

Last but not least, Cherry!

Cherry is,,, the currently reigning baby of the family- she’s just,,, hhh,,, so tiny and precious ;^; With her big ruby eyes and bubblegum-pink hair she really looks like a wildcard, but there is at least one physical similarity she shares with her father- the lack of eyebrows xD Cherry loves her parents more than anything (and tbh gets a bit coddled by us too), but that doesn’t mean she won’t get into trouble! She’s an adventurer at heart and likes nothing more than to run into a forest, befriend some random animals, and discover new things! Together with her pet bunny Bun Bun she’s ready to take on any adventure, and of course, be home again by dinnertime! 

Fun fact: when she was still a very smol baby, her older brother Dodger once tried to ship her off to an orphanage because her babbling/crying was too loud lol

in conclusion: I love my babies very much, thank you xD And I definitely need to draw them more often!!! hhhHHh there are a few small comics I’m already working on but psssssttt xD Also I’m really sorry for the bad sketches on this one, I just don’t have enough good pictures aaahh

[olderthannetfic]

#sorry for jumping in lmao#I just. have this discussion so often in italian spaces and I'm sad that all languages different from English get this weird treatment#and also maybe I'm tired of how we always put english culture and english fans (mostly from the states) at the center of every discussions#languages are just so beautiful man. I love how different languages shape different writing styles and the specific way we tell stories#anyway. sorry again for jumping in

Don’t be sorry! It annoys me too!

Honestly, a lot of things boil down to that old xkcd cartoon:

--

I think it can sometimes be easier to go to a language where you don’t know the associations a word has... but that doesn’t mean the associations disappear. Everything people have been saying in favor of English, like words being inherently humorous and unsuitable for horny writing, is something I’ve thought about English at some point.

These things go through artistic phases too: US romance novels of the 80s aren’t going to say “come” and certainly not “cum”. To the readership of that form of erotic art at that time, the prose sounded normal.

There’s a certain AO3 house style, but it’s not a property of English: It’s a property of fans spending a lot of time making particular kinds of art together and evolving a convention for what’s hot and what’s expected.

(In fact, if you go read fics from the 90s, they’ll often sound a bit different from current AO3 house style. These things evolve even within fandom.)

There are perfectly understandable reasons why people don’t try to make fetch happen in other languages the same as they often don’t in tiny fandoms. Fic is supposed to be fun, and if you feel like you have to do 100% of the heavy lifting in your fandom community, that’s rarely fun.

But I hate how we pretend that the inherent properties of English have anything to do with it. They don’t. English is just another Germanic language and we giggle just as much like we’re 12 while trying to find a sexy word for the asshole.

If English is free from embarrassing associations, it’s probably because people haven’t been catcalled in English, navigated dating sites in English, gone to the gynecologist in English, or cringed while reading terrible sex scenes in litfic novels by men in English.

If you join a robust erotica tradition in any language, there will be conventions to draw on. If you don’t, you have to make more up from scratch.

The only thing that makes English special is the size of fandom in it.

Reading fic in swedish feels so weird. I kinda wish it didn't. But media-specific terms and other jargon is also often hard to translate and so English is simply easier. Especially since most of us swedes are fluent in english. Im guessing Chinese and Spanish and maybe German have a higher concentration of own-language fics bc of things being dubbed and the general population being a lot more comfortable with the media in their own language.

--

Having poked around while doing research, Chinese and Russian seem like some of the more robust non-English fandom communities that have tons of visible fic online. German and Spanish are okay, but from what people have told me, it sounds like a lot of older fans learn English and switch.