#i'm so so satisfied with the end product hehe

[bichianti]

Sorry in advance if someone asked you that.

I'm just curious why you like Jimmy so much, what drives you to him ? This question always crosses my mind when seeing people who also like Jimmy like I do. Also what do you think about how the Fandom treats Jimmy ?

Answered a similar ask before but I don't mind hehe, I like talking about it.

If you are not familiar with the term, look up Hybristophilia. For me, it's to 1000% a sexual thing, so there really is not much to "defend" about it in my eyes. I just like to get off thinking about horrible men (tbqh I usually simp for more "depraved" ones...Jimmy is kind of tame in comparison. And he's sincerely very good and hot looking).

Oh, and then there's the male on male action aspect,... JimCurly is so *perfect*. I really like the ones who are canonically obsessed with another man, or men in general.

I found it more satisfying to project this desire onto fictional characters and try to turn it into something "productive", as otherwise it is kind of a dead end lol... it is a fantastic source of inspiration. At least, it makes me want to improve and draw more.

"How the fandom treats Jimmy", it's a bit exaggerated in my eyes, I like people recounting his horrible deeds though LOL. I'm like yes, please tell me everything in vast detail... I wish we would know more about what else he did.

Eh, I want to ask you the same question, anon. What is it YOU like about, liking him?

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #9 | 02.29.24

What is this?! Two devlogs in one month?! More likely than you think! This February has been very productive for me and the team, so let's dive right into it!

Ooooh boy, Raquel keeps knocking it out of the park! She managed to get done every expression for every LI, and I coded them all! Now we have our wonderful characters ready for their debut. We have been using the wonderful Image Tools for Ren'py made by the talented and hard-working Feniks, whose tutorials and resources save a lot of dev's lives every day! This tool has made everything a bit easier for newbies like me, hehe.

Here's a taste of our edgelord's expressions! 💜 They're kind of a cutie when they put some effort into it!

We also had our second valentine's day celebration art piece thanks to Kayden! Sadly with the reworked version of the demo, you won't meet Vycar yet, so we thought we could ask for his forgiveness by giving him a beautiful bouquet and reminding him how much of a sweetheart he is! 💜

Also, Raeya got a hair update!

So, we weren't completely satisfied with the way we portrayed Raeya's hair, so this has been a rework we were sure we wanted to make. At first we were just going to render it again, but we ended up working on it from scratch to better represent what we envisioned for her. We hope you like it as much as we do! ; v ;💜

As always, we are open to any critique or advice; we are white people who have the luck to be able to ask POC friends for their advice as we work, but the more the merrier! Don't hesitate to send us your opinion to our ask box or even our email, gamesravenstar@gmail.com!

When it comes to the background department, we have been making great progress thanks to Airyn, who is honestly leaving us with our mouths hanging open every time! Thanks to her, another background has been finished and another one is in the making, leaving only two backgrounds to be revised and approved!

I personally can't stop looking at this WIP! She understood perfectly what we wanted to portray just by looking at an old WIP we had, and this is what we have so far—and it's already amazing!

Allie has been OBLITERATING the script. As of today, I think we have almost gone through everything that needed to be corrected and discussing, and lord if the script doesn't look a 100% better after we put it in Allie's hands. The way she writes, the way she understands everything I want to say even when sometimes I don't even know myself—what a talented, inspiring and amazing writer they are. I know I may sound annoying at this point singing her praises endlessly, but if the script is in the state where it is now, it's thanks to her!

My programming adventure of the month has been a success, if I say so myself! I've coded the characters with aaaaall their layers, their expressions, the blinking animations, made some videos, and started coding the script. Step by step as they say; I've coded 18 pages, and there's, uh...142 more to go. Haha! *sobs*

BUT WE ARE GETTING THERE! We can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can finally click 'new game' and read the script and see the stuff going on! YAY!

Some extras of the month—we are preparing a Casting Call to choose the voice acting talent that will hopefully give voice to our characters. The demo won't be fully voiced (it's impossible with the funds we have, which are...zero), but if we are lucky we'll use some of our personal savings to pay for at least a few lines for each character so you can get an idea of how they'll sound if we get funded! Raquel is preparing an art piece for the announcement, and I'm getting the document ready and asking fellow VA friends for advice :3.

Also, we have a new member here at Ravenstar Games! Some weeks ago Astro and I formally adopted our first kitty, 8 month old Riki, fulfilling one of our dreams. We got him from a feline association that works with volunteers and fosters cats who have been abandoned, cats they find on the street, and so on. Riki has been living with me since January, and he's a happy, long big boy who loves playing, cuddles, and sitting on my desk while I try to work!

Say hi to the Ravenstar family, Riki! 💜

A productive month full of accomplished milestones, excitement and new challenges! The team has worked so hard, and I've done my part too! We still don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but we have done a lot of stuff we were sure we wouldn't finish yet, and look at that! We are doing so well!

As you can probably tell, my batteries are starting to run low, so I'm going to leave this devlog here. Thank you all like always for cheering us on, for being here in this journey with us, and for all the love you send our way. Let's hope March is as amazing as February has been, for us and for all of you! 💜

[azaliyas]

Hello dear!

I would like to request an alhaitham x f!reader, wherein they're both burned out from work and had a big fight hehe but make it angst to comfort please 🥹

summary : as scholars and researchers, you and alhaitham had to deal with a lot of stress and pressure from deadlines, inhuman amounts of workload and tiredness. one evening, after another day of exhausting work, a simple argument turned into a huge fight with both of you throwing insults and yelling at each other. neither of you really meant any of that, and you both know that at the end of the day, comfort is where the other is.

word count : [ to be added later ]

genre : angst, hurt to comfort.

cw / tw : fem!reader, mentions of fighting and self-negligence, both character and reader are burned out, cursing and yelling.

characters : alhaitham.

note : aaaahhh! this is my first request! i'm pretty excited about it ngl ewe i hope it's what you kinda imagined and that it's of your liking, dear anon! <3

when, as a young and hopeful student, you entered the akademiya you knew you were going to deal with a lot, since the sumerian institution was worldly regarded as the best school existing. you knew stress and deadlines would have become your new best friends, but you were ready for all of that. you were passionate about history and social studies, the vahumana darshan was the obvious choice to satisfy your thirst for knowledge.

it was during those years that you met your boyfriend, alhaitham, a student of haravatat that was also well-versed in the topics of the other darshans. you would sometimes ask for his help and, surprisingly to others, he wouldn't complain about it one bit. many thought it was because you could offer something to him in exchange, but they were absolutely wrong. alhaitham always accepted to help you because he recognised your intelligence and pure love for knowledge, a love that made you aware of your limits as a human, and so respectful of not keep going on with your studies when the possible knowledge could harm you to a non returning point.

and from that, it was easy for him to fall in love with you, going against all logical thoughts because for him love was illogical, but loving you was not.

——————————————————————

alhaitham was tired. his mind felt numb, the more he read the book in front of him and the less he could understand the words printed on it. he knew it was pointless to continue reading if he wasn't registering any information, it was a waste of time he could have spent doing something more productive. yet there he was, closed in the four walls of his home office, trying to make heads and tails of the documents scattered all over his desk.

accepting nahida's offering as the acting grand sage, he thought, was the worst decision he could have taken in his whole life. even if it was momentarily until the lesser lord would have find the right people to take over as the sages, he was already tired of all the extra work he had to do, since he didn't renounce to his position as the akademiya's scribe. but now all of that was taking a toll on both his body and his mind, as well as his relationship with you.

when was the last time you two went on a date? or had at least spent some time together, doing one of the typical couples stuff he despised but you loved? or when was the last time he had held you in his arms, had a proper sleep, a proper meal, a proper anything? it had his blood boiling knowing that, after the commotion caused by the turmoil he and cyno and aether caused, he hadn't been able to enjoy the new freedom of sumeru with you. he knew you didn't mind it that much, because otherwise there wouldn't have been any peace in the nation at all, had the plan of the sages went well, nor did he regret do the right thing that was rescue the lesser lord.

but alhaitham missed you, all and everything about you. he missed your kind and pretty smile, he missed your lovely laughter. he missed your fingers gently playing with his hair, he missed your nails lightly scratching his scalp. he missed the warmth of your body, he missed the softness of your skin under his lips.

he missed his dear, precious lover, yet he couldn't do much about it, because even if you did manage to get some free time, you two were too tired to do anything that wasn't sleeping to finally get some energy back.

on the other hand, at the akademiya...

your office at the akademiya never felt so suffocating. it was big and spacious, lots of windows with a beautiful view on the city of wisdom and knowledge, but it was starting to being claustrophobic. how many hours had you spend there, trying to write your paper, you didn't know. day after day you would close yourself in, surrounded by books and old papers, trying to finish your research about the traditional celebrations of khaenri'ah, how they would celebrate important occasions such as the birthday of a member of the royal family or the coronation of a new king / queen, but sources were rare and your mental sanity was running thin. and yet, because you were so damn stubborn, you kept searching and searching, putting aside your well-being for this. the paper could have gotten you funds and a promotion as a full-time professor and you had all the intentions of getting both.

raising your head your eyes fell on the clock on your desk. almost 11pm. you sighed, hands ruffling your already messy hair. how long have it been since you had a proper shower, instead of a quick run so you could optimize your time and spend as much of it as possible on your research? you had no idea. another sigh left your lips and you decided you call it a day.

standing up, you took all the materials and put them aside, knowing you would be again in your office back tomorrow morning. your head felt like a hammer was hitting against your brain walls, an annoying whistle in your ears as you left your office, hand on forehead and another on the wall to support yourself. you felt so weak, when was the last time you ate a proper meal? puspa café's snacks were good, but they couldn't possibly be enough.

you left the akademiya, the gentle night breeze blowing on your warm skin. you shivered at the feeling, goosebumps arising on your arms, but it felt good. "i'm still alive", you thought, "this akademiya shit still hasn't gotten the better of me". a bitter laugh escaped at your own thoughts — how fucked up were you, actually?

dragging your feet in the silent city, you walked down to get home. alhaitham was probably already asleep, you imagined, because your boyfriend wasn't the type to stay up late to finish work, not even now that he was the acting grand sage, after the rebellion he planned and executed with the help of the general mahamatra cyno and the traveling hero aether to rescue lesser lord kusanali.

when you got home you expected anything but the sight of your boyfriend in the kitchen, brewing himself a cup of coffee. his eyebags were prominent, his hair a mess, his skin pale. all signs of exhaustion, just like yours.

«haitham, why are you still awake?» you asked stepping inside the kitchen. you heard him sighing, his beautiful teal-orange eyes burning your figure.

«the same as you: working my ass off for the akademiya.» his sharp tone had you flinch and frown, not expecting him to throw his tiredness on you.

«well, you should go get some rest. maybe it will help with that attitude of yours.» you bit back, and your boyfriend scoffed at your words.

«says you, looking like shit for neglecting your basic needs in favor of your academic research.» his coffee was long forgotten, his attention solely focused on your and your argument.

deep down alhaitham knew it wasn't fair of him to throw his exhaustion and tiredness on you, reversing in the same conditions as him, but he couldn't stand your lecture about self care when you were the first to not follow your own advice. he loved you and hated the state you were in because of work. and yet he threw all of his logical stuff shit out of the window the moment you retorted.

you, on the other hand, were left bewildered by his harsh words. he knew what you were going through, working your ass off to finally be acknowledged by the higher-ups and see your dreams realised. you felt your breath hitching in your throat and your eyes burning, but your pride stopped you from bursting out crying in front of your boyfriend. crying would have meant giving it up and you didn't want that, you wanted him to recognise your hard work.

«you're not better than me, alhaitham, otherwise you would be sleeping by now. say, how many cups of coffee did you gobble down?» your voice got higher than your usual tone, and he noticed it way too well. his hand itched to go up to his headphones and turn on the soundproof option, but he desisted. if you wanted a fight, he would have given you the fight of your lives.

«and when did this conversation slip on me when you are the one who has it worse?»

«i have it worse because i'm trying to fulfill my dreams, mister "i have it all easy-peasy lemon-squeezy"!»

«as if i have ever wanted to hold the position of acting grand sage. it's a pain in the ass dealing with all these stupid and arrogant scholars.»

«and there you go again with that awful attitude of yours! do you even hear yourself? they're working so hard and you don't even acknowledge it!»

«like you never got acknowledged for your efforts, pushing you to this point?»

that last sentence of his went over the invisible line neither of you ever had the courage to pass. if first your voices came to a yelling mess that could be heard through the whole city, now the house was dead silent. in that silence alhaitham's eyes widened when he registered what he had said, but it was too late to apologise. the tears you fought to hold back during the argument finally escaped, streaming down your warm cheeks. your lips trembled and before your lover could say something, you talked first.

«you're a bastard, alhaitham.» a sob interrupted you, but you didn't care. «you're an insensitive bastard that can't and doesn't want to go past his nose because who cares if others are struggling? i'm not, it's none of my problem.» you managed to retort even in the middle of your hiccups.

you gave your back to your boyfriend, who was standing still, frozen on the spot. you walked away, out of the house, while he could do nothing but watching your figure disappearin the late night.

his lips trembled, but bit them to stop. his head fell down.

the front door closed with a loud slam.

——————————————————————

you ran back to the akademiya, but instead of going to your office you went for the pavilion outside, the lower level of it where almost nobody ever went. it was quiet, facing the city outskirts, and it was away from the home you shared with alhaitham.

your cried all your tears on your way, your cheeks now dry and sticky. swallowing the annoying knot in your throat, you took a sit on the edge of the empty pavilion, legs casually swinging in the void beneath. luckily for you it was a somewhat warm night, so you didn't have to worry about getting a jacket (as if you didn't forget about it anyway).

your lips were still trembling, the whistle in your ears now replaced by the harsh words alhaitham threw at you. was it true that you never got acknowledged because you didn't work hard enough? or was it because you weren't smart enough? what did the akademiya consider you? average? mediocre? barely above the standard? but you surely had something, otherwise you would have been expelled long ago with the reason of dragging down the prestigious name of the sumeru akademiya.

you started feeling cold not from the night breeze, but from the painful realisation that, maybe, you weren't enough. your heart ached in your chest at the thought. did you just waste years and years of your youth for a dream that had no chance to become true from the beginning? were all of your efforts worth nothing in the akademiya's eyes?

you were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching from behind. you jumped on the spot when a piece of clothing was draped over your shoulders, covering your shaking figure. your head snapped up only to meet with alhaitham's gaze, one you had never seen in all of your years of dating him: a gaze filled with sorrow and remorse.

«can i take a sit?» his voice was low, gentle.

you nodded and he sat beside you, his legs joining yours in swinging over the edge. you pulled his cape tighter around you, now aware of the coldness that was taking over your exhausted body.

silence filled your surroundings for a while, only the gentle flow of a river in the distance occupying your ears. you didn't know what to say nor where to start, and alhaitham had never been good with words when it came to feelings and such. sure, he improved thanks to you, but his lack of experience was evident. it had been painfully evident in that fight of a couple of hours ago, too.

«you were right, i am indeed a bastard, but my inability to look over my nose, as you said, is the last reason for that. even if i acknowledged your struggles and had to watch you crumble under the amount of pressure and expectations the higher-ups have on you, instead of helping you and give you comfort, i hit you were you are most vulnerable. that indeed makes me a bastard, one that doesn't deserve someone as good as you in his life. but still, i do hope you can forgive me. is that selfish?»

you waited for alhaitham to finish his little speech before raising your gaze and look at him. you could read all the tiredness that got a hold of him and had the best of him and his usual calm self. his eyes were curved down, his brilliant teal-orange hue dulled by regret. his lips were pale and bitten, pressed in a thin line.

«i won't say you're not, but i also don't want you to think that those words i said are entirely true.» your voice was still hoarse from crying, so you cleared your throat before continuing. «i'm sorry for what i said, i wasn't in my right mind. it's just that... maybe you're right, i'm not good enough for the akademiya and that's why i never got acknowledged.» you sank your face in your hands, hiding from your boyfriend.

alhaitham, however, was having none of it. he took your hands in his and pushed them away, then grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him in the eyes.

«that's not true. you're one of the smartest women i've ever met, and they were really few. you have a way with words that's hard to describe, your passion for research admirable and an example for many. you know when to stop to be respectful of the limits that we, as humans, have. it's the akademiya that's made of arrogant and noisy scholars who can't recognise a gem when they're holding one, not you not being enough for an institution made of corruption and greed.»

his lips met your forehead, his words digging holes in your brain, putting roots in there. he was right, he was so goddamn right. you were smart, you were curious, you were knowledgeable, you were respectful. you had all the qualities of a proper scholar, so how the hell did you think you weren't enough? you were even too much, but it would have been a freezing day in sumeru city before you were going to give up on your dreams.

your body though, reminded you you have been way too self-neglecting to start a war with the higher-ups and fuck them over, for now at least.

your hands slipped away from alhaitham's to find themselves on his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. you pulled him down for a kiss, one that was much needed. his arms found rest around your waist, chests pressed together and foreheads touching.

you needed a vacation, and so did alhaitham. you two needed to destress away from the akademiya and spend some quality time together, in each other's arms after neglecting your needs and desires as a couple for too long. and you also needed to stand your grounds and show the akademiya who you were and what you were made of.

there would be time for that, though. for now, you only needed alhaitham, his gentle touch and his sweet kisses, his comfort and his reassurance that he would be there for you to help and support you, as much as he needed the same from you. he may be the almighty genius that saved sumeru and held a knowledge many would kill to have, but in your arms, he was nothing more than a man driven by love and devotion for you and your persona.

© azaliyas 2023 do not copy repost translate or feed to ai

[1eoness]

Request?

I need Leon starting to date a girl with curly hair and he LOVES her curls and tries to learn how to style them

i'm not sure how you want me to format this im sorry so i'll just write like a list of hcs GRRRRRRR but i love the curly hair stuff HEHHEEHHE

content: fluffy leon kennedy with fem curly-haired! reader

synopsis (?) : leon kennedy has a curly-haired girlfriend :3

-leon's hair has ALWAYS been straight ash so when he saw you and the way you took care of your curl he was like woah :0

-it's like a level of enlightenment to him lol (jk)

-this man will always look at you while he has the chance so you can expect him to pick up on your routines. sometimes he'll be present in the bathroom while you're doing your little hair pampering routine and he's like 'so what's that?' and points at a bottle and u have to explain it to him LMAO

-no matter what the length (hell you could be bald) leon loves your head because 1. it holds your pretty lil face 2. your HAIR

-and idk i just have a general hunch that this man just loves carding his fingers through your hair or your head a lot (as you can notice from my first works lol)

-and leon is MESMERIZED by your curls everytime. whenever leon is standing behind you at a queue or waiting for you to finish doing something, like say putting your makeup on, his hands will absentmindedly bounce on the ends of your curls and just watch them go boioioiioioing

-there was a time when you were at a night bar with leon and some other friends. you guys were sat on stools and your back was turned to him while you were conversing with your friend, and leon just kept bouncing the ends of your curly locks because it's like a satisfying fidget to him.

-he loves the shape, the texture, the way it feels in his fingers (especially when he pulls on it in bed oops im sorry hehe)

-and tbh what can i say? leon likes taking care of you and that can apply to different parts of your everyday life; before you go to sleep he reminds you to take your vitamins, and whenever you come home and he's there he will undo your shoelaces :3. but he will NEVER forget to brush your hair (especially if it's long as hell, he knows ur arms probably get tired brushing through it and applying product through it)

-if you were bashful at first and said it was okay, he insisted with a lighthearted and joking tone. he's like 'i got the strength for this c'mon gimme that brush NEOWWW'

-HE WILL PRINCESS YOU LIKE THIS SASSY PRINCESS OF A MAN WILL PRINCESS U

leon loves to approach his pretty girl while she's perched in front of the mirror. he sees you brushing your wet curly locks and, silently, walks up to you from behind. he's a rather silent man right now while he takes your hairbrush from your hands, your arm slowly stopping its brushing motions as you looked up at his reflection; him being behind you while his eyes are downcast to your locks. "and where's my love going?" he asks with a mild tease. he knows you're going out somewhere because you seem to smile a little more when you're anticipating some plans. you giggled while feeling leon gently brush your hair with tenderness. maybe by narration it sounds obscure, but he adores the back of your hair while you're rambling about your day so far and where you're heading off to next. "so she's a busy girl. hm?" leon grins slightly, eyes locked onto your soft hair while he helps in spreading moisturizing product (rather expensive product that leon willingly paid for u bc, well, he loves you like that) on your hair in moderate amounts, being careful not to accidentally pull your head back or something lol. his fingers tread and work caringly— and he even scratches his fingertips on your scalp lightly and briefly to top it off ♡ he continues the rest of the brief conversation with his thumb gently stroking your wispy baby hairs, and you're just so cute to him he just wants to eat u tbh

-and whether you want him to put some lil bows, ribbons, clips or extensions in it is up to you. you probably have an array of hair accessories and leon memorizes all of them. he knows when one is new and which ones are the ones you've always had in your dresser/vanity.

-speaking of, leon LOVES seeing you accessorize your hair. beads, hairclips, anything that furtherly charms your pretty hair literally makes him melt you have this man in an entirely different state of matter atp he just loves you sm argghh. one time you let him put some little butterfly clips in your hair after teaching him how they're clipped on and you had leon WHIPPED the entire time in front of that vanity ♡

-omfg and leon does this thing where whenever he's hugging or cuddling you from behind, he nuzzles his face in the back of your head and start inhaling your hair like you're some sort of freshly-washed pillow. it tickles a little for you and he can feel your frame repulsing or squirming in his arms but leon doesnt rlly care lol (he's kinda sorry)

-i feel like leon has more of a tendency to ruffle your curly hair if it's short, maybe like above shoulder length or something.

[limerental]

limerental's fic writing reflection 2024

this year i posted a total of 128,831 words on ao3 in 41 total fics. the fandom tag I used most frequently was The Witcher (Video Game) with 22 total fics, the ship i wrote the most was Isengrim/Dijkstra with 5 total fics, and the character I wrote the most was Vernon Roche with 13 tagged fics.

lmao. How did this happen to me? for real

fic by fic reflection under the cut

i started off the year (literally posting the first chapter December 31st 2023) with parallel lines, a reynard odo/vernon roche 5+1 featuring book and game canon blending, lots of political intrigue interspersed with pwp, and excessive character studies. i'm really fond of how this one turned out, especially the +1 outsider pov chapter, and i'll always like this very niche rarepair.

in january i finally finished a playthrough of tw3 and wrote sanctuary, a keira/lambert ficlet as a love letter to the unparalleled snark and banter and horniness between those characters.

mid-february, i started working on chained, a iorveth/roche slave caravan forced proximity handcuffed together canon divergent fic which is frankly one of the most immediate fic i've ever written and therefore also the most i've ever written about bodily functions (this is saying a lot as someone with a piss kink). what a wonderful endorsement for that fic!

after finishing chained in mid-march, i immediately started putting roche in more situations with homesick (letho/roche), punishment (dijkstra/roche), and curiosity (isengrim/roche). i won't say they're my favorite little fics of the year, but they were satisfying enough to write.

i then suffered a fascinating diversion into being briefly possessed by ghostsoap of the call of duty shoot and kill people in the head video game and so wrote try to wake up which was about uh... shooting in killed people's uh... in their.... um.

i took most of may off for my sanity (in my real person life, i work in horticulture managing retail greenhouse production. may is a blur) and toward the end of the month started (spite)-writing my ciri/everyone fic carry what i need to carry. it ended up being lots of fun and also my longest fic of the year. the ships and characters list on this one is truly intimidating to look at, but i'm really pleased with how I managed to deal with and depict ciri's sexual trauma, especially that side of things was so fully neglected in other adaptations.

in late july, i started replaying tw2 and write come back to me in a blur which is a yenralt canon divergence fic where yen came to flotsam instead of sile.

in august, i started on claimed, the iorveth pov sequel to chained which was essentially a prolonged roche whump sickfic with a side of iorveth shaking his fists at trees. i like this one nearly as much as the first installment, probably because of the excessive amount of banter.

my second non-witcher diversion of the year was a deadpool & wolverine fic, we deserve a soft epilogue, and the metacomedy of it all was deeply deeply fun to write. side note as a big enjoyer of the first deadpool movie, it's an actual crime that vanessa is written out so often haha hehe

and that was it! i spent october drafting ideas for my ficletvember 2024 where i wrote a fic a day for all of november, ending up with 28k. this year it was a pretty eclectic mix of twn and game and book canon.

overall i feel like though i wrote less than previous years, the stuff i did put out had more substance to them and were better written. i never could have written that ciri fic or claimed or even parallel lines in 2020. for one, no one could have predicted the absurd niche canon deep dive i've fallen into the past year. me?? writing more games canon than anything else?? it's truly whacky goofy. i wouldn't change any of it or the supportive crevices i've crawled into this past year.

[thegoldenshi-shi]

Hi! Just found your blog so I may have missed this but... do you have designs for the Aerialbots? Specifically Silverbolt (he's my favorite)? Not a request, I know you don't take requests! Just wondering if they were in your AU(? Again, sorry, I'm new here). Because your art is so awesome! If not, any advice on redesigning Bots? I hope to get better myself so that someday I'll be confident enough to design them myself for my own Continuities and whatnot.

hope you're having an amazing day/night! <3

Hello there anon~

I don't have any Aerialbot designs at the moment unfortunately. That's not to say I won't at some point in the future! I love their team dynamics and Superion is pretty darn cool, so they might pop up in the AU, but I can't say say for certain.

Now, for how to redesign bots.

I took extra time and made some visual aids for you because going from original to redesign is kinda daunting when you're just looking at the finished product.

The only rule I stick to 100% is "How do I want this character to be?"

Taking Jetfire here as my example, I wanted to make him a competent scientist and physically powerful, but also a charming nice guy who can be a little flirty at times. (and a cute Australian accent for no reason hehe)

With this in mind, I could set out and start adjusting 80's box man into the character I wanted.

I shaved off sharp edges to soften his character, added interest to his flat helm with larger audial fins, new cheek guards instead of just grey stripes, and different helm coloring.

When I'm working on a character, I usually start with a pre-existing design that I like and incorporate what I like from other series. (Like on Starscream, I pulled from three different universes to get a look that I personally liked for him)

So with Jetfire (particularly his helm) I flipped through his canon designs and other flier designs until I settled on the elements I wanted. Then I sketched it all together and adjusted size/placement/color until I was satisfied with the end result.

The same things holds true when you're trying to redesign a group. As an easy example: I wanted the Seekers to be a group, but unique individuals. So I gave them a few identical features, and threw out the rest. If I was designing the Aerialbots, I'd probably accent their similar color schemes and just go ham with making their designs unique to their personality. (Don't be afraid to use outside references either, I actually used Grace Kelly and Charlize Theron as references for my Mirage design)

When you get into it for yourself, redesigning your favorites is a good place to start. If you have strong feelings about a character, then they're easier to make your own.

I hope you have a good day/night as well anon. Thank you for sending in an ask.

[childotkw]

Omg the Orphan AU 😭😭😭 i love it, i so want to read that right nooooow, gimme a lend of ur brain haha but seriously, that would be such a good story, vampire trained assassin Hadrian, spicy and maybe arrogant/petty, but dig deep you can find some trauma 🤩 Voldemort would like to dig and find everything about his new obsession hehe to try and get him under his thumb uggg i'm gonna go browse fanfics now for hours to try and satisfy that itch 😭xx

Vampire-trained-assassin Hadrian would be an absolute mad lad, and Erebus would be so very happy with the end product!

And Riddle would be having a blast trying to gather information on his fixation. Hadrian had his attention from the moment he first tried to kill him, and got him in a strangle hold when he actually got incredibly close to succeeding 😂

Of course, with the horcruxes it matters little, but damn if it wasn’t impressive. Lucius is on his way to destroying his liver, trying to drop into the sweet release of death to escape the insanity that is his Lord pining after his would-be assassin.

[mochinon-yah]

Happy Valentine's Day~ (1)

I don't actually celebrate the day, buutttt i'm just making it my reason to give this drawing to @ansy-tea or uhh @throwaway-yandere <3

(Honestly i was supposed to make coviello for rin, but i'm going to post theo first so you both won't get too curious as to what i'm making hehe, it's basically a happy oc day LMAOO)

Hm, so this is theo!

Yes, ansy...

The reason why i asked for his clothes is for this. Did you guess that i was going to make the surprise about your oc? I did point out that i was thinking about him a lot more than even sunday lmaoo

Anyway, even if you didn't guess it, i hope this drawing matches your expectation from my 'surprise' ^^

And err, why does he look evil-ish like that? Let's just say i told him to pose like a villain and that's why he looks like that- NAH ACTUALLY I JUST WANTED TO MAKE HIS GLOVES STAND OUT LMAOO

...

*cough* well, moving on-

I'm so sorry if the clothes didn't actually match theo's TT i was a lil confused despite you already giving me his character sheet. I was most especially confused by the ripped out sleeves, so yeah...

As an ending note, i love your oc, theo <3 i hope you're satisfied with my fanart hehehe btw if you want the drawing without any filter layer, let me know so i can post the 'bare face' one ;)

P.S. to rin personally, if you see this post, then yes, coviello will pose like a villain too lol. I hope you'll like the drawing later when i post the finished product!

[cas-rolled]

🌌 tutor training

We all wrote our semester goals during training so I figured it would be nice to share mine! They're at the bottom

⚡️ thesis progress

The books and article I requested last week came in finallyyyyy I'm really excited to go through them.

I got through a couple chapters of a fire ecology book at the library this evening and it's SO COOL and going to be really helpful!! I'll post some fun facts after this.

🌈 random

FINALLY got a haircut I feel SO much better got a "90s dreamboy style" as my hairstylist called it hehe

Got coffee with a friend to catch up :) and we are in agreement about still trying to gymbro together during the semester, but waiting a couple weeks to see how our respective schedules end up shaking out

Confirmed a weekend hangout with another friend who I haven't seen for a bit! I'm very excited.

I've decided I want to try and visit a lot of the local museums this semester when I have time and am looking forward to that.

Goals (no particular order) 1. To finish my thesis without a massive sprint at the end; I want to take enough time to where I am genuinely satisfied with not only the end product, but how I got there. 2. Learn at least three new songs on bass. 3. Build a good relationship with my mentee cohort <3 4. Outline the new scientific writing workshops for the spring semester. 5. Finish data analysis by the end of September, ideally by the middle of September. This is a time management thing.

[throwaway-yandere]

🎐

Yup I'm the same person! I wasn't sure what alias I went by before so I used smth that sounded rather similar in hopes that that was it, thank you for being able to recognise me www. A bigger thank you for your kind words and I hope y'all break free from exam/coding hell soon! Best of luck!!

ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ thank you!!! (Un)fortunately my university moved my midterms to next week and I absolutely have no idea wtf I should be doing lolol–

Also, for your other ask:

MAJOR OCMC CHAPTER 3 SPOILERS:

CAN YOU BLAME ME THERE'S NO WAY I WON'T WRITE A SCENE WHERE READER PETS TIGHNA–

I aligned everything so that you wouldn't know Tighnari's affection meter hehe. You wouldn't be able to find out how he feels about you either way. Alhaitham's either unconscious or dead so you can't get any hints from the terminal. You gotta admire Tighnari's bravery tho, man really called everyone "replaceable", and his bloody leg was literally hanging by the barrier before he flooded the theater lmaoooo

jsiaia uGh same I swear my fricking shock when I saw the poll change was Some Experience ™️ hAHAHAHAH. idk what I was feeling. Shock, disbelief, happiness, anger??? I have no clue, it was an emotional rollercoaster lmao

The chemistry between "Deshret" and "(N/n)" are pure angst material for me and I will keep making y'all feel bad for him lmao. This is why during your visit to Diluc's house, Alhaitham feels absolutely repulsed about the Visconti. He doesn't like the idea of caging you when he truly does respect you. Yan!Alhaitham can't see himself selfishly taking your limited freedom away from you like Diluc. Relish in the angst with me–

I'm pretty satisfied with how I executed that ngl, if I wrote it as crudely as my "alhaitham knew capo because they were friends, he still waits for them like a dog with separation anxiety by the morepesok fountain. He still stalks them for 6 years even though the reader doesn't even know his face." outline it'd probably give a more creepy and less romantic vibe than whatever's in the final product even though they're the same story. The guilt trip worked huh?

If no one reaches 50%... Well, that's just a bad ending– and I'd be incredibly shocked if no one reaches at least 50% considering how generous I'm gonna be with points lol (Cyno's was around 30%+ but you guys chose not to invite him lol.) Then again, I do have ideas in case that happens lmao

You do get a short route with a certain character (still a bad ending.) if that happens but the entire ride will be painful. I'm not telling you guys who that is but I'm pretty sure you can guess who's the LI lmao. Everything goes downhill with him and I wanna fricking high five him for it

[ambivartence]

• - hmm let's see :D ~

xiaojun vs jeno

nct vs p1harmony

beatbox vs doom du doom

glitch mode vs venom

aHHH all the hard hitters straight out of the gate

xiaojun vs jeno adskdflsjdfjjjj okay this is purely based on my jeno brainrot for the past couple weeks even when i saw xiaojun's Praew magazine photos a few days ago jeno immediately just got my attention again lmao he's been soooo busy recently (running around my head LOL) ever since i saw him again at kcon LA and then smtown seoul + tokyo into promoting villain with key and then the dream concert footage these past two days and now he's on his way to ny fucking fashion week i've just been continuously devastated by him.... there is nobody else i can afford to think about right now </3

nct vs p1harmony omfg NOOOO MY PIWON BABIES :((( i was literally just rewatching a lot of their tiktoks a few hours ago i love them so much :((((((( but also sdjfaisefsfjjj after kcon i realized i just... love being an nctzen LMAO even if this is one of the most unhinged fanbases ive ever seen :') part of the reason why im not on the bird app lmao but yeah i love the neos and i love my nct hoe anthems and microwave noise music and endless amount of content and drama and they've even got me obsessed w fucking lime green... 🤢💚🌱

beatbox vs doom du doom THIS IS MY RHYTHM (DOOM DOOM) THIS IS MY SONG!!! omg i was looking back at my top songs of first half of 2022 gifset and realized none of them r group title tracks and i swear i thought beatbox would be the first one to finally break that trend (they'll probably still make my list for second half of 2022) bUT WHEN I HEARD DOOM DU DOOM I WAS INSTANTLY OBSESSSEDDD like everything from intak's opening adlibs that i have memorized to jongseob's rap part to the chorus choreo which is so cool it's one of my all time fave choreos of this year and the fact that each chorus has a different choreo because there's also soul's dance break version and the final chorus version and i love the styling in the music video especially what they were wearing in the boxing ring w the black white n neon lime fave fave FAVE also the giANT FLAGS were so pretty and i love that intak got to wave one on stage during their promotions it made the ending pose look so cool ugh yeah i literally have listened to this song every day since it came out... okay but also beatbox iS SUCH A GREAT SONG also obsessed w the colorful styling and the boom chicka boom chicka chicka boom boom choreo part w the hands and knees to shoulder isolations is so satisfying and also jaemin's solo footwork part and i think mark just really shines in that song it's so hip hop groovy and catchy it was stuck in my head for months i swearrrrr

glitch mode vs venom HUHHHHHHHH okay so i feel like i was slightly disappointed in the chorus build up for both songs, but venom definitely has a better one tho the second chorus is just soooo much better to me than the first one with the dramatic slowdown during changbin's part into the gradual speed up thru lix/hyunjin/hans raps w the iconic skz sirens going off in the background into geomijul drop to the point where i wish there was a way that the first geomijul chorus drop couldve been just as good which is so nitpicky but the track video was so good and i love the choreo for it when i saw it on tour <3 but anyways glitch mode is a hard one to beat hehe i love the very nct intro w the robot voices and the styling for the music video and the glitching choreo is so fun and also jeno (the fan chant is so cute with the echoed "nightmare" and "ok" haha) n mark's rap parts (lol i will never forget that light speed is "299792 [km] per second" now !!) and yeah i have the chorus memorized now just as a product of listening to it too often i think at this point i'm just personally very attached to this song after seeing it performed live twice too <3

> make me choose <

[crockettmarcel]

Would you like to tell us about Birthright? 👀👀

birthright is very loosely based on this fic and tiny love, and is essentially the product of me watching too much criminal minds and then thinking "what if sarah was like her father?"

(tw for murder + kidnapping. kinda disturbing bc. yknow. inspired by crimmy minds)

she's got pretty much the perfect life, at least from an outsider's perspective - a job she loves and is good at, a beautiful girlfriend who thinks the world of her, the sweetest daughter, and even the cute lil house in the suburbs

but she just. isn't happy. none of it is satisfying her

and then after everything goes down with her father, she starts feeling even worse. she's snappy with ava, stressed all the time, and just. going through it a bit

so she leaves work in the middle of the day, drains her bank account, then buys a shitty little car and drives west until it gets dark

she makes it all the way to Des Moines, where she spends the night in a motel. it's all uneventful at first, but then on her second night there, someone tries to rob her while she's walking from a corner store to the motel. i haven't worked out the details yet, but the person ends up dead (I'm thinking she either killed them with their own weapon, or managed to push them in a way that they hit their head hard enough to die. either way, it was an accident)

anyway, she doesn't feel how she thinks she should about it. if anything, she feels good. it takes her a couple of days to process what happened and her feelings towards it, but she realises that she's been suppressing a lot of things for a long time

seeing her dad for the first time in 20 years and accidentally killing someone allowed those things to come to the surface

anyway. sarah realising she IS just like her father, and becoming a serial killer

(also I know it's more complicated than just that but. that's it in simple terms)

meanwhile, ava's losing her mind back in Chicago. she has no idea why sarah left, or where she went, and lolly's distraught bc she misses her mom

ava ends up tracking down Crockett, and he becomes a part of ava and lolly's lives (he's thrilled to find out he has a daughter!!)

sarah's travelling the country killing people, and ava and crockett are coparenting lolly

at one point, sarah realises she misses lolly. it feels too risky to go back to chicago though, so she kidnaps a child that looks like lolly. she doesn't hurt her (she'd never hurt a child), but when it becomes obvious that this child won't fill the gap where lolly should be, she leaves her somewhere where she'll easily be found. this happens a couple of times (she's also still killing) before sarah decides that her best bet is just to go back to Chicago and get lolly

so she does!! she kidnaps lolly at the Christmas market, and they drive off together. lolly thinks she's going on vacation with mom, so she's thrilled, and sarah's happy to have her baby back. ava and crockett don't even suspect sarah

i'm not entirely sure where it goes from here, but sarah does eventually get caught (I'm thinking of slipping in a cheeky lil criminal minds crossover hehe) and all she says to the police/FBI is that she wants to see her daughter

also she's obviously not Exactly like her dad, bc she does care about lolly and love her in her own way (whereas robert literally didn't/couldn't love anyone) but she's close enough. she didn't feel bad about the people she killed, and she didn't feel bad about taking the children from their families (although she had no interest in hurting the kids in any way). she only let the children go when she realised they weren't as "good" as lolly and she had no need for them anymore

[cescalr]

@yogs21134 :D I love rambling, so I'm glad that works out well!

Also: WHAT.

I admit I never paid much attention to the bts stuff (for a really long time I didn't even know it existed; for example all the stuff Hellstrand put on tumblr for Rythian's backstory was irrelevant to me, since I didn't use tumblr until 2016 - so I only had what was in the series itself, and in the same way I considered authors' word of god for books to not matter, I went the same way with the improv stuff; i think a little differently now, because at least those books are finished products - most of what we're told bts for yogsmc are things that would've actually happened, had they had the chance to execute those storylines to completion. Without any full context for Israphel!TMD, I have to say I'm not..... fond. My knee-jerk reaction is what about my tragic greek hero Xephos :( what about his fall from grace? The hero and the villain of the story? What about all the foreshadowing easter eggs. That would feel kind of left-field, and wouldn't imo be particularly satisfying. It'd feel like one of those twist endings TV show writers do where they panic that the fandom figured out the mystery rather than accepting that they did and their foreshadowing worked. You're supposed to figure out the mystery before the end! it makes the audience feel intelligent! The watcher/reader/etc is supposed to have all the clues to figure out whodunnit roughly at the same time in the narrative as the detective. Similarly, twist villains in fantasy stories are oft better done when you could figure it out. One of my favourite examples is in Keys to the Kingdom - aimed at roughly the same audience as YogsMC, or at least read by a similar age-range as who ended up watching Yogs content back in the day - by Garth Nix. You could figure out what was going on the whole time if you paid attention. But its still a surprise that he went through with that twist, and the ending is pretty bittersweet because of it. I love that series. I just like randomly shoving it into discussions of narrative cohesion, lol. Xephos = Israphel is sooooooooooooo narratively juicy. Any other option imo pales in comparison.

Oh, really? Hm. Good to know! Guess that's why it didn't feel like I missed anything, since I guess watching the end of it was all I needed to see. There are a lot of epsiodes of YogsMC series that you can freely skip, after all, given it's only semi-scripted storytelling and mostly comedy improv silly times <3. I love the comedy improv silly times. Not saying I don't! Shenanigans my beloved. TV cutting out "filler" (character building, dynamic progressing, tone reliving breather) episodes and going from like 22 to 10 a season is just depressing. Bring back MotW damnnit, lol. Still - what I'm saying is that, like a lot of other shows, I guess FB3 is one of those seasons people would call "filler", then?

@fumblemore first of all; congrats on snapping up that username, my guy. Epic. Secondly: Thanks <3 Lal being in SOI fuels so much of my yogsmc brain rot, you have no idea!! I really do need to fully rewatch the series, though; there's probably loads of little things lost to the decade and change since the first (and last) time I did! Alas, I'm in the process of watching EVOSMP for the first time, so that's gonna.... take a while.

Hm.

(EVO's really interesting for what happens to Martyn after the yogsmc stuff dries up imo - he loses one group of friends [to whatever I decide happens to the yogs characts post-series that week; they're probably actually fine, Martyn just thinks they're gone, or the fun option of his whole listener deal including a lack of access to the people he once knew knowing he's still alive.... hehe... angst....] only to lose another, and then end up trapped in a second set of survival (death) games?? crazy. wow. bad luck my dude...)

wait hello?? please elaborate on the green haired lalna, i never watched soi

oh sure!

In... hmmmmm one episode, The Hand? maybe? where Honeydew and Xephos head into an ancient technological ruin (implied to be a giant death robot of some ilk), they find a whole bunch of "evil" honeydew clones that have degraded to mindless violence (implied they're non-sapient, lacking the mental capacity to go beyond base instinct because of how long they've been down there multiplying ad nauseam, each clone generation worsening with nobody to maintain the mechanisms), and tonnes of broken vats. However, one single cloning vat is still working - and there's a guy inside! That guy is fully buttoned up labcoat LividCoffee, with, for some reason, green hair. It's neat :D and fascinating. Lore wise. Extremely fascinating.

I went looking for proof - it's not The Hand (that's the "finale" lol); it's Doppelgängers - for some reason those episodes merged together in my head.

I also appear to be remembering him being alive completely wrong - for a uh, given value of 'alive'. given he's a zombie! and there's two of him. Whoops? I can't actually see good TM (hi, blind here) but people kept saying their hair was green back in the day and i absorbed that information. if it's wrong, I refuse to agree with reality! green haired lalna my beloved.

Also, again, my brain clearly likes to lie flagrantly to me, because while the honeydew clones are made by broken old machinery, that's because honeydew and xephos were fucking around again <3 idiots. I wonder what happens when you stand in the goddamn cloning vat and flick the lever.... buddies..... c'mon.

Anyway - there's two zombie (green haired! I'm not delusional!) Lalna's, which is even more fascinating than my shoddy memory allowed the situation to be, because that implies YogLabs devolved to making clones of clones at some point - along with giant death robots, but they were already doing that - after the Honeydew clone had to replace his original body because Testificate Betrayal Incident, even though Xephos knows with certainty that that's been worsening the quality of the cloning process due to.... well, all the failed Honeydew clones. and the Honeydew graveyard. That he makes Honeydew clones dig up. No he's not gone mental with grief what are you talking about.

Ahem. Judging by the state of SOI!Honeydew's clones, i think it's a mix of SOI!Honeydew being a pretty late-on clone-of-a-clone himself (remember, in Yogs canon all respawns are because of YogLabs, so in SOI for them to respawn - since they can respawn, I should say - they have to be clones.... though the time loop makes me question the metaphysics of it all; do they need vats in the present if the future is the past? Existential. Too existential for me. I like to think they do have vats in the present, in the bowels of what remains of YogLabs, deep in the heart of the desert (imo, it's the source of the desert, given that one YogLabs episode where, surprise surprise, Xephos had his team invent a thing that did the sand-ening process you see in SOI; in SOI, sand is like this organism that eats everything it touches, turning it into more sand, which works with YL lore because, hey, that's what the thing they made did! Tangent. Sorry).) and the machines being super borked. Amnesiac 1st gen clone Xephos* (original Xephos is currently running around as Israphel, imo - protag Xephos is a clone of an earlier, more stable version of the man who did a lil' rebellion <3 because orig!Xeph went. Um. Megalomaniacal) obviously wouldn't know any better than to flick the lever, lol. Just noting all that as I think it corroborates the ideas about YogLabs and cloning the canon gave me. (though i clearly need to rewatch the canon, given all my minor inaccuracies add up pretty heavily towards bad meta, and I hate making bad meta :( I love meta! I have an creative writing degree!!! I don't wanna make bad meta!!!!!!!)

Anyway: Green Haired Lalna! The reason it's so fascinating to see our zombie boy duo is that this is his first and only appearance(s) in SOI; we never meet an alive Lalnable Hector or Lalna LividCoffee. This implies a lot; there's no Lal alive because all his anchor clones are dead, perhaps. Or his clones are the characters Duncan Jones portrayed, made unrecognisable by time, the time-loop amnesia, and mechanical mishaps with the cloning process so they look a lil' different - it could explain why everyone in SOI is.... Like That. (Everyone in SOI acts like a faulty clone(-of-a-clone-of-a-clone-etc); a little not all there, in some respects, and extreme caricatures of themselves besides). There's a bunch of options! All of them pretty valid, 'cause of how fast and loose YogsMC plays with its own continuity, as an improv semi-scripted series with.... plenty of unfinished storylines. More for me to mess with! As a writer i appreciate the sandbox. As an audience member I shake my fist at the sky in great torment! /joke. Am a bit miffed still, though. Over a decade later (jeez. youch. augh. I was 11, holy shit....).

I think I'll have to change what I said in the tags of the Lalnable post, though, because i was working off of bad memory for that opinion.

I still think FB!Lalnable Hector is a direct clone of anchor lalna, but i'm no longer certain either of the lalnas we see in SOI are original lalna - rather, also direct clones of anchor lalna used to created manpower for the operation of the giant death robot; why hire a 12 man crew when you can clone one from the same man at 2x speed? And as we can see in YL 2nd gen (clone-of-clone) clones aren't unstable enough for this to be a bad idea; Honeydew post-replacement may have less.... wherewithal... but he's not entirely incapacitated by clone degeneration - current YL!Honeydew may be a poor imitation friend for Xephos, but he could still pilot a death robot! So I think I'm going with: whatever war YogLabs was fighting in to warrant the death robots (we know Xephos is spending a lot of YL prepping for war with various foreign nations, so this isn't an unlikely event - in some ways he appears to be actively seeking that outcome, because he's speedrunning self-fulfilling time-loop shenanigans i guess.) got desperate enough they used cloning to bulk up manpower numbers, and in typical YL fashion they borked it by cutting corners on the mechanisms of this fact, by using sub-par machinery and clones-of-clones-of-clones, who can definitely pilot death robots but may not have the sheer brilliance of their original (lalnable hector, in this instance, being a certifiable genius, and his clones are smart, but less-and-less so due to the way YL cloning works) so they fuck up more often and thus the systems in place start failing, and lo and behold you have two zombie Lalnas in cloning vats, how did they zombify?????? How??????? What was in the genetic material sludge they were floating in for [time loop confusing the timeline; no actual idea how long it takes for All That to go down] to do that.

Anyway; now i have thoughts!!! So many of them. Thank you for the ask or I'd have gone on with my goldfish sieve memory assumptions about SOI/YL/Lalna and been worse off for it. Also, I just like canon accuracy. Being able to fuck with canon and take it to its logical extremes is what i find fun, personally. Canon complicit, i heard it called - I like that one. Not compliant. That implies bowing under pressure. No no. I'm in on the evil scheme entirely willingly. Enthusiastically, even!

Anyway: Yeah. Green Haired Lalnable Hectors / LividCoffee(s) my beloveds. I do wish one of them had been alive, because I love SOI's silly little grandfather paradox (Xephos = Israphel, and all it's horrible no good brain melting implications) interpretation, and if one of them had been alive then you could infer a second grandfather paradox - lalnable hector's clone is his original existance; wait, what? - because fucking with whatever 'original' timeline absolutely screwed and destabilized this one. And it didn't even work! Xephos, you never cease to amaze me in the many ways you can fail spectacularly at things. Pathetic main character that never wins long-term <3 Doomed by the very narrative he created! Glorious.

... this was a Lalna ask. Lol. Sorry! I never get to talk about yogsmc. I have so many thoughts.

Anyway: that's basically it, I think? Lalnas in vats; do with this what you will! Fascinating stuff, truly.

(That was not particularly well constructed, lol, but i hope it was interesting anyway!)

[sticksstonesandstars]

Our first sem had already ended a month ago and I have no more assessments or papers due but I still have some readings left. I'm actually half productive finishing them since I have only printed and finished some so there are still a lot. Nevertheless, I wanted to write this with the desire to tap my shoulder and appreciate myself for surviving one hell of a sem.

It was my first for college, for a degree I was not really knowledgeable, aware and sure of before. But, I was glad (idk if I'm 100% sure about this tho) that I let go of my scholarship and the science degree I thought I wanted to pursue. The financial help the scholarship can give me was actually tempting before and tbh, I regretted my decision the moment I made it. But I was reminded by my sister that if I pushed through with it, I would've been suffering more especially that now, I'm actually enjoying my degree despite the amount of essays and papers I had to write. Unbelievable, yes, but I think the essays or papers I had in my first sem equates to the amount of them I did during my senior high school. It was a lot like A LOT. Writing is my first love so my passion was there but it was mentally exhausting and it put so much pressure on me as I have my own standards in writing. There were even times when I wasn't satisfied with what I wrote. Still, I passed them even if they were half-assed, accepting the mental block I had and that was the most I could do at that time. I also came across a video on Twitter which yelled at me to allow myself to fail or mess it up and not be perfect. It was normal after all and I was lucky to have encountered that vid at the right time :)) There's also this one course which required like three to four essays a week and had a lot of readings along with the set module and it was very demanding and draining to finish all of them along with other readings and requirements from other of my courses. But after looking at my scores and reading some of my prof's comments, I knew my hard work was paying/paid off. I'm so happy I didn't give up on that (well maybe I did a little lol). And my grade for that course, I hope they bring happy news.

I also went through org applications and I was accepted and will officially be a member come second sem. I got to interact and be more close with Batch Ragsak yay! Applications were tough and draining since everything were fast-tracked but we made it! Got many sissies and brods now too, some of which are people I know from highschool or were CNHS alumni just like me hehe. I was able to help in relief operations led by my org as well.

It was a tough sem and proof was that it was the first academic related stuff I cried over (I'm sure there's more and it's not the last). Anyways, I'm still happy as I continue to learn and as my horizon continues to widen. I'm really looking forward to more info and knowledge I'll be able to pick up in the next and future sems even if they will also make me kinda give up huhu. I hope I will be able to retain them for long too (as someone who's memory is very dull). For now, I will be waiting for my grades. I will update this when I get to see all of them.

To whoever had the patience to read this, I hope you never give up. Slow progress is still progress. And don't forget that you're valid, you're not a failure and you don't have to always be okay. Take care of yourself, stay hydrated and healthy! Don't forget to take some rest too. Go slay whatever you have your heart set on. Cheers! 🍻

ud: YAYYY I GOT MY GRADES AND IM A UNIV SCHOLAR SO YEPP I HOPE IT STAYS FOR THE SECOND SEM TOO AND THE COMING YEARS. I'LL DO MY BEST, ALWAYS. 🌻

[uwua3]

hi hi bunnie!!! i've been a bit absent lately because i've been trying to be more productive since school starts on aug. 3 (i think?!? idk tbh 😔) AND i'm pretty proud of myself since in this week, i managed to delete a bunch of stuff, i have 2 gb in my phone now, & i finished writing my oneshot for the account ⭐ & i are making (it was supposed to be 2000-2500 words at first but it became 4k something lmao 🤧)! there's a lot more i've done, but that's all i remember rn hehe. - 🌙

(wahhh i tried posting this ask but it didn’t go through TT why doesn’t the universe want me to baby my moonchild 🥺🌙) anyways, good morning to my luna ✨🥰 it’s completely okay if you’re absent—let me say i’m proud of your productivity and you are 100% deserving of your accomplishments 💗 + please tell star ⭐️ i’m sososo proud of both of you n i can’t wait to read it! let me know when it’s posted :D it’s okay if you’re not as satisfied with the ending, you still wrote n that’s all that matters! do whatever makes you happiest~ ☆彡

@ cloud ☁️ + saku 🌸 anons!!! truly from the bottom of my heart 💖, welcome to the family!!! + hhh i always want to be as honest i can so i guess i can say i haven’t been too good today TT but!!! talking to everyone here always makes me feel sooo much happier 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 thank you for your kind wish! i hope it comes true, too~ + happy end of summer 2020 🎆🎇, i’m proud of you n i love youuu 💖💘💝💕💞💓

Bunnie 💗🐰