#i'm so mentally ill

[ceru-draws]

Another day another feeling sick to my stomach thinking about two sides of the same coin, chaos and order sparking each other towards complete and utter annihilation yet one cannot exist without the other, each destined to orbit his companion in an eternal & infinite dance of joyous wonderful creation and mutual destruction, finding each other in every potential universe, every timeline, every possibility. Repeating, repeating to the end and over again.

[kiwibirbkat]

No because you don't understand how badly I need Nico and Kayla to be best friends

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

AKKAKAYAKY

Ok so in my silly little head the Apollo kids, Chiron, and some of the seven are the only ones that know that Nico is trans because of his internalized homophobia

Nico is disgusted with himself and doesn't want Will to have to deal with him

And Will, ever the sweetie, doesn't really get it but lets his sister, who is ALSO TRANS help him instead

And Nico slowly realizes that they both share a lot of struggles, like he's still struggling with self harm, Kayla used to before she got help

She also somewhat understands his whole eating thing because when she's in her depressive episodes her appetite is shit

So Kayla becomes like, his main medic. Because while Will loves him and is the head doctor of the infirmary, Nico is still new to the whole being loved and accepted thing, and *gasp* Kayla can't judge him for that! And of course, Will still doesn't really get it, but it makes Nico feel better, so he lets her take care of Nico instead.

So Kayla and Nico become best friends

And Kayla is loud and proud about her gender because she was still Kyle when she came to camp, so most seniors at the camp already know she's trans.

She's also pretty open about her sexuality, seeing as she's had crushes on boys and girls and not really hidden it.

Meanwhile Nico over here is terrified of anyone finding out he's gay, let alone trans??? He'd be shamed! Because of course he's still in the fascist Italy mindset, he doesn't understand that the world is more accepting

And she's slowly helping him accept himself

NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY'RE SUCH BEST FRIENDS

PLS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS 🙏🙏🙏 (and write fanfics maybe??? 🥺🥺🥺)

[barleyo]

i need an old man and i need to be his MOMMY. i don't care if you're 65, i'll cook for you and spoonfeed you. yes, i'll tuck you in and make sure you take your heart medication. of course you can go golfing today, but only if you eat all of your breakfast, okay? no, no, no bingo night tonight, you can go tomorrow. why? because mommy said so, okay? you don't need to stay out late tonight (late being 7:00 PM)

[mentallyillastrophelfreak]

"Cause I could give you all you want, the stars and the sun, but still, I'm not enough." -Yours, Conan Gray

[eletricheart]

The Great War

*image creds to the owner

Word count: 1.371

"that was the night I nearly lost you"

----------------------------------------------------

Miranda wasn't the most open person, sometimes you didn't even know if she actually enjoyed your presence, but since you were never kicked out, you stayed. You weren't stupid, you knew of her experiments, you've seen the results in the woods, criminals she would say. You'd ask about the lords, "I did everything I could, I saved their lives".

You believed in her for a while, you understood and trusted her.

However, she never told you the extent of her trials, never told you the age of some subjects, never told you she doesn't feel remorse for all she's doing.

A lie won't go too far, she expected you to stay in the haze, blindly trust her, but Miranda was careless.

All of her experiments were failing, soldiers kept knocking on her door, Alcina's and Heisenberg's endless fighting. She was stressed, she forgot to lock the door, forgot to sedate the child.

When you first heard the screams, panic took control. You raced down the stairs to find Miranda covered in a little girl's blood. The urge to vomit was immense but the initial shock kept you completely frozen.

Miranda knew she messed up, she knew you wouldn't approve this, but her daughter was more important than anything in this world. So why did she care? Why was she worried about how you would react? It took you a month to properly look at her after finding the laboratory, how long would it take now.

Miranda watched as your mind worked relentlessly, trying to make as little movement as possible to not scare you off. Until all you could ask was why.

Miranda scoffed at this question, it was as obvious as the existence of the sun.

"Children have a more similar anatomy to my Eva, obviously".

You were perplexed, stuck between anger and sadness, not being able to formulate any long sentences with the way your mind kept going up and down. "But she's just a kid".

Miranda wanted to laugh at this, but instead she just furrowed her eyebrows and smiled. "My Eva was just a kid, besides it's not like this one was useful, didn't even pass the incision, no need to be worried".

So it clicked, Heisenberg's fury towards Miranda, Donna not leaving the house, Moreau disfigured and the Dimitrescu trapped inside a castle.

You want to be mad at her, for all of the suffering she has caused. But you were just upset with the lying, if she just talked to you.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh please, you were dramatic knowing about those creatures, with this you would be an even greater nuisance".

"Miranda this was a child! Not a criminal or someone close to dying, it's a kid. This is completely wrong. Oh my God what have I done, I can't believe this, I've been going against everything I've ever believed during these past few months for your to lie to me. I've been trusting you, trying so hard to understand you, to give reason to your actions, to have an excuse for all you've done and this is what I find".

"I never asked for you to do any of this, you chose to stay, you chose to accept my mission, my holy mission. I was blessed by the Black God and now you come to me thinking I have time for your petty complaints. You're nothing more than means to an end, don't blame me for your pathetic love expectations. I will do anything for my daughter, these subjects are serving a purpose greater than you could ever understand".

"Miranda, listen to yourself, this is insane, you're acting completely crazy".

So she slapped you.

𓄿

You would think that after living with someone for months, you would know the person. Neither of you knew each other, not even superficially, you just stayed close. Maybe it was fear of the other not liking the real personalities, maybe none of you wanted to meet the other.

Miranda saw you as a hypocrite, someone who acts like an activist but turns a blind eye to her cruelty.

You saw Miranda as a grieving mother, willing to give her life to Eva, someone who has done many bad things but still has good inside.

In reality, both were right in a way. You were a hypocrite but you still cried everyday for her experiments, you still helped the village with their basic needs, you still tried. Miranda was indeed grieving, but the pain was larger than you could possibly imagine. At a certain point she did go mad, she didn't care for the person laying on the table or dying in the cages, all she could see was the main goal, bringing her daughter back.

𓄿

You left after she slapped you, no one followed. You left the village, no lycan crossed your way and no crow watched you.

You went back to your city, tried to live a normal life, tried to forget the priestess. You really tried, but everything you did a memory would go through your mind, it could be something as simple as watching the sky and remember the day where you dragged her out of the cabin to see a rabbit shaped cloud.

You missed her and felt guilty for it, so you didn't come back, at least not for the next six months.

Miranda went back to work, crueler than before. The crops started to die, the lycans became more erratic, the crows were more aggressive.

Even the Lords noticed the changes, Moreau's reservoir was starting to lack fish, a sudden coldness reached the castle leaving it's inhabitants trapped inside without enough food, Heisenberg was having more troubles with the lycans and an absurd amount of new corpses.

Donna was the only one who didn't feel such a difference, except for a certain sadness in the air, one that wasn't her own.

They all tried to speak with the Goddess but she was unreachable, either spending weeks performing experiments or laying in bed for days.

It was the darkest six months the village had faced in many decades.

That was the state of the village when you returned, the common people tried to drive you away, to spare you from the land's cruelty, but you kept going, simply following the crows. Finding her at the lake, five minutes from the center of the village. There she was in all glory, waiting for you.

Miranda saw your return, she noticed how you looked skinnier, more tired, as if the world didn't treat you right.

The priestess wanted to kill you on the spot, no one insults her and leaves alive. And then you smiled at one of her devotees, your dimples faintly showing. So she forgot to kill you, forgot even the reason why she was supposed to hate you.

All Miranda felt was relief, a strange feeling of hope that maybe you forgave her. How comical, a Goddess wanting forgiveness from you...it was something she truly wanted.

Neither of you knew what to say, both still remembered the last conversation.

You could feel your hands shaking, your fast beating heart and your happiness to see her.

"I'm sorry."

Miranda released a breath she didn't even notice holding, and gave you a small smile.

"I'm sorry too."

Suddenly, the crops grew healthier, the sun shines brighter, more fishes started to live in the waters, the lycans became completely manageable.

Both of you agreed to talk more, she promised to try not to experiment on the innocent and you promised to never leave again.

Everyone noticed that both changes happened with your exit and return, some villagers even started worshiping you. The Lords were apprehensive, Salvatore wanted to impress you, Karl planned your murder, Alcina probably wished to eat you and Donna was quietly curious.

Everytime you fought the Lords would know, Miranda would be more demanding than usual, and the fact that you went to Donna's after her fight made her even angrier.

So yes, things turned out to the better, vows of never going back to that bloodshed were made.

However, this time when you fought, you would always receive a letter from Alcina and Karl, begging to forgive Miranda.

"I vowed I would always be yours."

----------------------------------------------------

masterlist

[theoriginaldick]

I love the idea of lesbian Lute so much but I also am so weak for guitarspear. So what if she was bisexual and polyamorous. She has two hands. I think she can kiss men and women. She can kiss Adam and some pretty ladies.

[veyronvenus]

my Beloved eife❤️

[limon-rat]

Help, I'm obessing over these stupid dead dragons

[fleaishbitch]

I really hope jakei doesn't see this lmao

[eliasbouchardslut]

okay gonna try to get more sleep

[thesoulbox]

I'm having silly thoughts

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

i'm really sitting here making memes about the fanfics i could be writing 🧍‍♀️

[luckytiggertalia]

Every hour I obsessively refresh my email for updates on my Homelander cosplay

[eletricheart]

*image creds to the owner

Short imagine of what it would be like to be with Mother Miranda.

Mother Miranda x Reader (gender and pronouns were not explicit )

Word count: 301

----------------------------------------------------

Being with Mother Miranda is living a quiet life at the outskirts of the village. It's living in a cabin full of life and gardens covered by the glowing sun.

It's being alone most of the days, it's not questioning her late rendezvous or sudden disappearances. It's getting used to the presence of crows and wandering ghosts.

It's one day going down the basement, it's one day finding the keys to the lock, it's one day finding an underground laboratory.

It's discovering scattered notes, labeled jars, experiments records and old photographs. It's seeing Miranda's true work, her true nature, the truth.

It's going around the lab, scared of reading the papers, scared of touching the black substances, scared of what's inside the cages.

It's losing in a game you never chose to play, it's getting caught by the mastermind, it's being trapped in the woods.

It's hearing her run down the stairs and see you in the center of her secret. It's watching her open and close her mouth in a strange loss of words. It's seeing the worshipped Goddess afraid.

And finally, it's realizing the hard truth, the ugly part of being human. It's looking at her worried face, breathing the multiples chemicals mixed in the air and noticing that you don't care.

You don't care that she's been experimenting on people, you don't care that she has fooled an entire village, you don't care that she has ruined lives.

Because at that long second, that one single stare, you know that you love her so deeply that not even low pleas coming from the dark side of the room affected your decision.

Being with Mother Miranda is knowing everything she has done, everything she will do, is knowing her.

It's being out of the woods and living a love so delicate, so golden, so dangerous, that it would survive the great war.

----------------------------------------------------

masterlist

[joongdokshitposting]

Okay so I actually wrote a 1k word essay for Communicative English on orv and that isn't even close enough to the sheer amount of shit I think about orv so I'm gonna come here and dump all of my thoughts (I have so many dude I literally haven't been normal since I finished the book I'm being so serious I can't fucking do this) once my finals end yo 🤠👍

[infinitesimaldna]

Ao3 was down and my immediate instinct was to go write my own fanfic to compensate