#i'm so horrendously uncomfortable talking about this kind of thing even in online settings

[bambiraptorx]

sometimes i forget that being depressed isn't normal honestly

[thehealingsystem]

I'm a multigender, two-spirit nonbinary individual and I gotta say the attitudes from people, even other nonbinary people, regarding those like me existing in both man and woman adjecent categories have been absolutely horrendous. multigender people aren't even considered nonbinary half the time despite literally being represented in the flag colors. we're not included when people say they support nonbinary lesbians and gays, that apparently every other nonbinary person is fine except us. we're invaders. there is this weird attitude towards people who exist as both a man and a woman. there are two sides trying to put us in either one or the other, dictating if we're womanly enough to be a part of woman's spaces or just a male predator (and it gets applied to transmasc multigenders by so called trans allies too). it's like having my arms being tugged in two different directions and I'm slowly being pulled apart. I just can't have both. I have to be one, or the other, or neither

and where do I start with the degendering. it literally happens all the time. told that apparently bigender women can't be lesbian like monogender women can, so we have settle for "gynesexual" or some alternative term. men can't be lesbians and woman can't be gay but "multigender and genderfluids are fine," as if we aren't real men and women. yelled at for even thinking that multigender people were included in those statements, "no you dumb fuck, I was talking about cis men!!" we aren't actually the genders we say we are. multigender people can't ever express their exact gender identities and just have to settle for "multigender," lest we cause some monogender person discomfort. was trying to inform a presumably white person that trying to exclude us from lesbianism was racist, because it degenders a lot of two-spirit people and to imply that two-spirit indigenous people couldn't be lesbians. was told well your existence makes my lesbian friends uncomfortable and this is just my opinion. I quite literally cannot exist anywhere, this has been happening for years just being open about being a multigender lesbian online and caused me to leave a lot of communities

and while a lot of people brush this kind of stuff off as only issues on the internet, it has lead to me getting bullied in real life too, by multiple people. even my friends at the time were targeted just for associating with me. made comments and jokes purposely loud enough for me to hear to make fun of me. left demeaning notes where I sat. made sure to say invalidating shit to my face if we passed by the hall, or asked intrusive questions about my relationships any time they could get near me. sent over disgusting shit to put on my lunch tray (that i didnt even realize at first was supposed to be making fun of, not a joke i was allowed to be in on). tried to get me and my friends in trouble for laughing. all because an ex-friend found out online I was both a boy and a lesbian, who was not nonbinary, who was not a lesbian, and who was white. and he was one of these same people online with the mindset that we're invaders, we're straights trying to get into the community, that they needed to protect the lesbians from people like us. beforehand him and his friends upon finding out on discord set up this whole act to trick me into thinking they were defending me, only to turn around and laugh at me for falling for it, mocking me, interrogating me about my identity. and even after well over a year had passed during summer break he still went out and continued to stalk my social media, and find this blog I never shared with him to send me queerphobic messages and drawings of myself with every dirt he could find on me

there is so much more I could say right now, because there has just been so much shit. I could go into what I experience from the school system, workforce, or my family, and so many other things. But I do want to impress upon people that while a lot of online fighting and gatekeeping does seem like stuff that only happens online, the people behind the screen are real people who mostly do hold these opinions. and that the people who identify this way do exist in real life as well. it can and does lead to real life consequences. I felt unsafe online and at school because of it, and the only reason things didn't get worse is because I had friends to defend me. he told people who never knew me who I was, that I was the too-weird queer, and do you know how dangerous that is? in a world where queer people are violently hate crimed, assaulted? for a person to go around purposely inciting hate towards me? I am begging to please, please think about the consequences of what you're saying. it is not harmless no matter how respectable you're being about it, even if you'd never take it farther, because there are people out there who will

I've seen a lot of discussions about exorcism still don't really focus on multigender people much at all, and I just wanted to get my two cents in because so many people still don't listen to us or consider us in their conversations. I just wish people cared more, because as I've noticed the trends of discourse are that people follow majority opinion no matter what that opinion is. even if it goes against their own values. and I've also noticed that while a lot of our identities have become the butt end of jokes, man that's a woman, woman that's a man, boygirl, girlboy, she's his boyfriend, he's her girlfriend, but there is still a large amount of disrespect towards us as people and a failure to even take us seriously when it's needed. I find those jokes funny but when I look onto their account to see man lesbians and woman gays on their dni I am not that impressed. Just please do better

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from nonbinary people how the system of exorsexism/enbyphobia uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all binary trans people to not speak on this topic and let nonbinary people do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as nonbinary are encouraged to participate. This is not agab-locked. If you are agender, trans neutral/neutrois, genderfluid, bigender, trigender, multigender, xenogender, genderqueer, third gender, two spirit, or any other gender not wholey contained within the strict binary of "man" or "woman", this post is for you. Even if you have already posted on the trans fem or trans masc versions, if you are nonbinary, you are welcome here.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

Click this to access the trans masc and trans men version of this post.